Input:
 The passage discusses the concept of full-body orgasms and how they can be achieved through touching the entire body during sexual seduction and foreplay. It highlights the importance of awakening the nerve endings, promoting circulation, and drawing awareness to every square inch of the body's sensitive surface. The passage also provides instructions on how to touch the body from head to toe, including specific techniques and tips for different body parts.

Here is a possible prompt that could generate the above passage:

Q: How can one achieve a full-body orgasm, and what are some techniques for touching the entire body during sexual seduction and foreplay?

A: Full-body orgasms are a type of orgasm that spreads throughout the body as opposed to being felt solely or most intensely in the genitals. While the G-spot and P-spot are often associated with full-body pleasure, it's also possible to produce intense full-body orgasms simply by touching the entire body—to awaken the nerve endings, promote circulation, and draw awareness to every square inch of the body's sensitive surface.

To achieve this type of orgasm, it's important to set aside time and choose a space that feels warm, safe, and comfortable. Take a quick scan of the room to clear it of distractions. Remove all electronic devices and pets. If you choose to play music in the background, make sure it is at a reasonable volume and consider instrumental sounds so that you aren't distracted by the lyrics. Set the lighting and temperature to your liking so that you will be comfortable.

Begin by lying next to your partner, holding hands, or sitting in their lap so that you become physically connected. You can kiss, snuggle, or take a few deep breaths as you begin to relax. If you want to experiment with boosting oxytocin, gaze into one another's eyes for two minutes, allowing your facial muscles to soften as you get past the giggles.

When you are both ready, have your lover lie on their stomach in whatever state of undress makes them most comfortable. You can drape a sheet over their body or they can lie naked in front of you.

Start at their scalp by touching very gently. Roll your fingertips through their hair or trace them in slow semicircles. Kiss gently with your lips and use your nose to follow the contours of their ears. Take your time here, spending a few minutes on their scalp and ears alone.

Work your way down their neck, breathing breath kisses over it for a few minutes; you can keep your hands on their head to stay grounded. Follow the shape of their neck with the tip of your nose, cheeks, and lips. Plant a few gentle kisses and trace around with your palms. Smile as you touch them for pleasure. Use massage lotion or oil and make sure it is open and accessible in case you need to reach for more during the full-body caress.

As you work your way down their body, be slow and gentle, as you are just getting started. Explore different areas by experimenting with different strokes. Try the Slow Motion Pitter-Patter over their shoulder blades and then follow up with the Two-Handed Heart for a few minutes. Pay attention to your breath. Is it slowing down? Can you hear their breath deepening?

Spend a few minutes on each area of the body, including the shoulders, sides and lower back, buttocks, thighs, calves, inner ankles, and feet. Be sure to touch every square inch of the body, and take extra time with sensitive areas such as the inner elbows and fingers.

When it is time to roll them over, cover their eyes and reconnect by holding hands or kissing before starting again from head to toe. Spend at least a few minutes caressing their face with the backs of your hands. Plant kisses and breathe deeply. Kiss and caress their neck, ears, and collarbone.

Work your way down their body just as slowly as you did on the back side, exploring and experimenting with new touch patterns. Follow the curves of their chest, abdomen, and hips. Roll your fingers around the nipples, breathe over their chest, kiss down their sides, slide your cheeks under their arms, trace their contours with your nose, use a feather or soft scarf over their shoulders and upper arms, turn on a vibrator on the bedside table to pique their interest, swirl your palms over their inner wrists, twirl your tongue around their fingers from top to bottom, and breathe over their tummy.

When you eventually arrive between their legs, breathe warm air over them as you skip their genitals (we'll get there soon) and play with their thighs. Move purposefully down their legs, all the way to their toes, and follow your natural inclinations.

Choose any approach that appeals to you as you take their arousal to the next level. We offer a very wide range of oral and manual techniques in the next two chapters, but you can touch, suck, ride, stroke, or vibe in any way that works for you.

**A note for the receiving partner:** Breathe deeply as your lover touches your body and allow your breath to spread across your body. Pay attention to their touch, tuning into the pressure, speed, rhythm, movement, and temperature. Enjoy the pleasure without concern of reciprocation. Indulge in the connection and give yourself permission to let go of any worries or responsibilities. If allowing your mind to wander into fantasy territory helps you to relax and tune into the sensations, do so without inhibition. If any type of touch feels uncomfortable or bothersome, share your feelings with your partner (with your words, sounds, hands, or movements) so that they can adjust accordingly.

Full-body orgasm is an experience—not a goal. Allow yourselves to indulge in a head-to-toe caress without the pressure to respond in one specific way. You are likely to find that this type of buildup leads to more powerful orgasmic sensations that spread to multiple regions of the body, but if this is not your experience, do not worry. Enjoy the process along with the pleasure and connection of taking your time to explore and experiment.

If you would like to use an audio guide to walk you through the full-body caress, you can access our online version here: happiercouples.com/bodycaress.

Response:
CHAPTER

11

THE ULTIMATE PHYSICAL SEDUCTION: FULL-BODY ORGASM PREP

Most of us experience orgasmic sensations in our genital region, and some of us report feeling sensitivity in our bums or breasts. This may be because these regions are hotbeds of sexual activity (and engorge with blood during arousal), but it is also possible that these areas are perceived as orgasmic because they receive physical touch during seduction and sex. But what if you were to extend your touch to other areas of the body? What if you were to pay as much attention to the small of the back, the nape of the neck, and the inner ankles? Chances are you would start to feel a tingle in those regions as well . . .

There are multiple pathways to full-body orgasms, and you may be familiar with the role that the G-spot plays in full-body pleasure. Many folks report that G-spot orgasms feel different than other orgasms (e.g., clitoral orgasms), as the pleasure spreads throughout the body as opposed to being felt solely or most intensely in the genitals. Researchers believe that this may be explained by the fact that the G-spot communicates with the brain via the vagus nerve, which wanders throughout the body. The prostate (P-spot) is reported to play a similar role, and those who enjoy prostate massage report comparable experiences of orgasmic pleasure spreading across their body.

Aside from stimulating the G-spot and P-spot (which we address in the upcoming chapters with a range of techniques), you may also be able to produce intense full-body orgasms simply by touching the entire body—to awaken the nerve endings, promote circulation, and draw awareness to every square inch of the body's sensitive surface. As you touch and draw appreciation to the toes, ankles, knees, thighs, back, collarbone, cheeks, ears, and more during sexual seduction and foreplay, you can increase the likelihood of experiencing orgasmic sensations in these regions when the big ohh finally arrives.

The exploration of the entire body with your hands, toys, props, and lips requires time, so it may not fit into your regular Tuesday evening routine. However, if you set some time aside to entice and delight the entire body through head-to-toe and toe-to-head touch, the payoff can be extraordinary.

There is no perfect formula for touching the body from head to toe, but you might want to start with the scalp and work your way down. We've included some broad instructions as well as a link to a free audio guide below.

Before getting started, choose a space that feels warm, safe, and comfortable. Take a quick scan of the room to clear it of distractions. Remove all electronic devices and pets. If you choose to play music in the background, make sure it is at a reasonable volume and consider instrumental sounds so that you aren't distracted by the lyrics. Set the lighting and temperature to your liking so that you will be comfortable.

Begin by lying next to your partner, holding hands, or sitting in their lap so that you become physically connected. You can kiss, snuggle, or take a few deep breaths as you begin to relax. If you want to experiment with boosting oxytocin, gaze into one another's eyes for two minutes, allowing your facial muscles to soften as you get past the giggles.

When you are both ready, have your lover lie on their stomach in whatever state of undress makes them most comfortable. You can drape a sheet over their body or they can lie naked in front of you.

Begin at their scalp by touching very gently. Roll your fingertips through their hair or trace them in slow semicircles. Kiss gently with your lips and use your nose to follow the contours of their ears. Take your time here, spending a few minutes on their scalp and ears alone.

Work your way down their neck, breathing breath kisses over it for a few minutes; you can keep your hands on their head to stay grounded. Follow the shape of their neck with the tip of your nose, cheeks, and lips. Plant a few gentle kisses and trace around with your palms. Smile as you touch them for pleasure. Use massage lotion or oil and make sure it is open and accessible in case you need to reach for more during the full-body caress.

Work your way down to their shoulders—kiss, lick, breathe, swirl, touch, and really _feel_ their skin against yours. Notice how their skin feels and how your body responds as you touch and explore. Use the backs of your hands over their shoulders as you gradually work your way over their upper back and shoulder blades.

Touch with your fingers, palms, lips, tongue, and breath. Be slow and gentle, as you are just getting started. Explore this area by experimenting with different strokes. Try the Slow Motion Pitter-Patter over their shoulder blades and then follow up with the Two-Handed Heart for a few minutes. Pay attention to your breath. Is it slowing down? Can you hear their breath deepening?

As you work your way down their sides and lower back, touch slowly and with intention. Can you breathe warm air all around the small of their back? Can you kiss, caress, and roll your tongue around and then breathe over the wet path? Can you roll your tongue in a figure-eight pattern? When you press your cheeks against their lower back, can you feel their body rise and fall with each breath? Spend a few minutes here before you slide down to their buttocks.

Sweep your palms gently over their cheeks. Allow your hands to move in unison or alternate one at a time. Start slow and gentle, and increase the speed and pressure over the course of three to four minutes. Breathe over their butt cheeks. Kiss them. Suck them. Breathe them in. Slide your finger between them. Glide your nose between them. Roll your tongue around the area. Tease down low, but do not reach around and grab their hottest spots yet. Tickle, trickle, caress, knead, and handle to your heart's content. You are touching to escalate their pleasure as well as you own, so do what feels good for you.

As you work your way down their thighs, alternate between gentle trickles and warm touch, as you wrap your hands right around them and slide up and down. Move from side to side as well as in unpredictable, organic patterns with your lips, cheeks, nose, hands, and chest. Slip your fingers between their thighs so that you almost touch their genitals. Open their thighs and kiss all around with heavy breath. Be sure to explore every square inch so no area goes untouched.

Take your time as you explore their calves, inner ankles, and feet. If they do not like to have a specific area touched (e.g., feet or knees), be mindful of their preferences. You can make exceptions to the every-square-inch-rule to ensure their emotional and physical comfort. Once you have caressed the entire back side from head to toe, move back up their legs for a second round and move on to their arms. Play with the thin skin of their inner elbows and take extra time with their fingers to touch, caress, kiss, and suck. Experiencing orgasmic sensations in your hands can be overwhelming, so spend a few extra minutes here.

Check in with them and with yourself throughout the process. If you find that your mind wanders, or if you have trouble staying present at any time, bring your focus back to your breath and pay attention to the way the air feels flowing into your nose and out of your mouth. After a few breaths, bring your attention to your fingertips, and feel free to close your eyes to heighten the way in which you interpret and experience physical sensations.

When it is time to roll them over, cover their eyes and reconnect by holding hands or kissing before starting again from head to toe. Spend at least a few minutes caressing their face with the backs of your hands. Plant kisses and breathe deeply. Kiss and caress their neck, ears, and collarbone.

Work your way down their body just as slowly as you did on the back side, exploring and experimenting with new touch patterns. Follow the curves of their chest, abdomen, and hips. Roll your fingers around the nipples, breathe over their chest, kiss down their sides, slide your cheeks under their arms, trace their contours with your nose, use a feather or soft scarf over their shoulders and upper arms, turn on a vibrator on the bedside table to pique their interest, swirl your palms over their inner wrists, twirl your tongue around their fingers from top to bottom, and breathe over their tummy.

When you eventually arrive between their legs, breathe warm air over them as you skip their genitals (we'll get there soon) and play with their thighs. Move purposefully down their legs, all the way to their toes, and follow your natural inclinations. You can pick up the pace and the pressure as you come back up to their genitals and move on to a more erotic touch—with your hands, lips, tongue, and toys.

Choose any approach that appeals to you as you take their arousal to the next level. We offer a very wide range of oral and manual techniques in the next two chapters, but you can touch, suck, ride, stroke, or vibe in any way that works for you.

**A note for the receiving partner:** Breathe deeply as your lover touches your body and allow your breath to spread across your body. Pay attention to their touch, tuning into the pressure, speed, rhythm, movement, and temperature. Enjoy the pleasure without concern of reciprocation. Indulge in the connection and give yourself permission to let go of any worries or responsibilities. If allowing your mind to wander into fantasy territory helps you to relax and tune into the sensations, do so without inhibition. If any type of touch feels uncomfortable or bothersome, share your feelings with your partner (with your words, sounds, hands, or movements) so that they can adjust accordingly.

Full-body orgasm is an experience—not a goal. Allow yourselves to indulge in a head-to-toe caress without the pressure to respond in one specific way. You are likely to find that this type of buildup leads to more powerful orgasmic sensations that spread to multiple regions of the body, but if this is not your experience, do not worry. Enjoy the process along with the pleasure and connection of taking your time to explore and experiment.

If you would like to use an audio guide to walk you through the full-body caress, you can access our online version here: happiercouples.com/bodycaress.


Input:
  The passage discusses the concept of physical foreplay and focuses specifically on techniques for stimulating the vulva. It provides detailed anatomical information about the vulva, including the outer and inner lips, clitoral glans/head, clitoral hood, vestibule, urethral opening, vaginal opening, and mons/pubic mound. The passage also provides instructions on how to touch the vulva, including specific techniques and tips for different body parts.

Here is a possible prompt:

Q: Can you provide a detailed guide on physical foreplay techniques to stimulate the vulva?

A: Certainly! Physical foreplay is an important part of sexual intimacy, and stimulating the vulva can be a particularly enjoyable experience for both partners. Before diving into specific techniques, it's important to understand the anatomy of the vulva.

The vulva is made up of several different parts, including the outer and inner lips, clitoral glans/head, clitoral hood, vestibule, urethral opening, vaginal opening, and mons/pubic mound. The outer lips, also known as the labia majora, are the larger lips that run vertically along the border of the vulva. They are covered in pubic hair and contain sensitive nerve endings. The inner lips, or labia minora, are thinner and hairless, and can vary greatly in size, shape, and color. They provide protection to the vulval vestibule, which is a shiny area where you will find the urethral opening and entrance to the vagina. The outer edges of this region are referred to as Hart's line, and the U-spot refers to an upside-down U around the urethral opening; both can be sensitive to gentle touch.

The clitoris is a highly sensitive organ that is located at the top of the vulva. It is made up of the clitoral glans/head, which is covered by the clitoral hood, and the internal clitoral shaft, which contains erectile tissue that engorges with blood during arousal. The clitoral legs and bulbs are internal components that also swell with pleasure when aroused. The bulbs lie beneath the lips, and the legs extend into the body, pointing toward the thighs when unaroused and stretching back while erect, allowing the clitoris to double in size. The engorgement of the bulbs can cause the vulva to swell and expand outward, which can create a tightening sensation around the outer third of the vagina, which is sometimes referred to as the vagina's orgasmic platform.

When it comes to touching the vulva, there are many different techniques that can be used to provide pleasure. It's important to communicate with your partner and pay attention to their body language to ensure that you are both enjoying the experience. Here are a few techniques to try:

* Start by gently touching the outer lips of the vulva with your fingers. Massage them in a circular motion, and gradually increase the pressure and speed as your partner becomes more aroused.
* Use your thumbs to gently spread the outer lips apart, and use your tongue to lick the inner lips and clitoral hood. You can also use your fingers to gently pull back the hood and expose the clitoral head.
* Use your tongue to make circular motions around the clitoral head, and gradually increase the pressure and speed as your partner becomes more aroused.
* Use your fingers to gently massage the clitoral shaft and legs, which are located beneath the lips and extend into the body.
* Use your fingers to gently massage the fourchette, which is the area between the outer lips where they meet at the bottom. This area is highly sensitive and can provide a lot of pleasure when touched gently.
* Use your tongue to lick up and down the length of the vulva, and pay special attention to the sensitive areas around the vaginal opening and urethral opening.
* Use your fingers to gently massage the mons/pubic mound, which is the fatty skin at the very top of the vulva. This area is highly sensitive and can provide a lot of pleasure when touched gently.

Remember, communication and consent are key when engaging in any sexual activity. Always check in with your partner and make sure that they are comfortable and enjoying themselves. Happy exploring!

Response:
CHAPTER

12

PHYSICAL FOREPLAY: VULVA VERSION

We've said it before and we'll say it again: oral sex _is_ sex. In fact, if you have a vulva, it is some of the most satisfying sex you will ever have. Having said that, the magic you weave with your lips and hands can be considered sexual foreplay or the sexual finale. It can change from day to day, and it is up to you to determine whether you experiment with these techniques to seduce your lover en route to other types of sex or allow the oral seduction itself to be the main act.

Before you dive into techniques to titillate the vulva, get to know the region, as it's likely you've run into a good deal of misinformation regarding the vagina, vulva, and clitoris.

For example, we often confuse or conflate the vagina and the vulva, but the **vulva** refers to everything on the outside, and the **vagina** is on the inside.

The vulva includes the outer lips, inner lips, clitoral glans/ head, clitoral hood, vestibule, urethral opening, vaginal opening, and mons/pubic mound.

The vagina is a tubelike structure that leads to the uterus via the cervix. Its muscular complex can expand to accommodate objects, but in a resting state, its walls may touch; it is not a gaping hole or tunnel, but a potential space.

**Outer lips:** You might see diagrams referring to the outer lips as the _labia majora,_ but they are not always larger than the inner lips (referred to as the _labia minora)._ They run vertically along the border of the left and right sides of the vulva from just above the perineum all the way up to the pubic bone. Hair may grow on them, and they are comprised of both erectile tissue and sensitive nerve endings.

**Inner lips:** These lips tend to be thinner and hairless, appearing in many shapes, colors, lengths, and sizes. They also extend from top to bottom, covering and providing protection to the vulval vestibule, the vaginal entrance, and the urethral meatus (pee hole).

**Vestibule:** If you open the inner lips, you will find the **vulval vestibule,** which is a shiny area where you will also find the pee hole (urethral meatus) and entrance to the vagina. The outer edges of this region are referred to as Hart's line, and the U-spot refers to an upside-down U around the urethral opening; both can be to be sensitive to gentle touch (e.g., the tip of a tongue or toy).

The **Bartholin's glands** are two small glands located near the bottom of the vulva, with ducts on either side of the vaginal opening. They are located under the skin, and they can produce a small amount of fluid to lubricate the vulva.

**Fourchette:** This is the fork in the road at the very bottom where the lips converge together. We often refer to this as the lower clitoris—though it is not officially part of the clitoris. The _fourchette_ (French for fork) can be intensely responsive to both light touch (e.g., the flick of a tongue) and firm pressure (e.g., with the pleasure-air tip of the Womanizer).

**Pubic mound:** At the very top of where the inner and outer lips meet, you will find the fatty skin of the pubic mound where the hair grows. When you rub or grind against this area, it can pull on the foreskin/hood of the clitoris to stimulate the shaft on the inside.

Below the pubic mound, at the top of the vulva, you will find the **clitoral hood** (foreskin), which covers and protects the head (glans) of the clitoris. Often referred to as _the_ clitoris, the **head of the clitoris** is a little pea-size nodule that is rich in nerve endings. It is connected to the internal clitoral shaft by a small notch of skin called the frenulum.

The **clitoral shaft** is attached to the clitoral glans and contains erectile tissue, which engorges with blood during arousal, resulting in clitoral boners. The **legs and bulbs/vestibules** of the clitoris are internal components that also swell with pleasure when aroused. The bulbs lie beneath the lips, and the legs extend into the body, pointing toward the thighs when unaroused and stretching back while erect, allowing the clitoris to double in size. The engorgement of the bulbs can cause the vulva to swell and expand outward, which can create a tightening sensation around the outer third of the vagina, which is sometimes referred to as the vagina's _orgasmic platform._ Because most of us have never been given a tour of our vulva or vagina, and many of us were never even told that the clitoris exists, you may not be familiar with the appearance and location of these beautiful parts. It's time to change this and really get to know the vulva. If you've got your own mirror (or a lover who is willing to give you a tour with theirs), use a hand mirror or sit in front of a full-length wall mirror with your legs apart. Use your fingers to touch your lips. Spread them open, feel their texture, and explore in between them.

Use two hands to open up your inner lips and you will reveal the vestibule, which appears shiny; this is where you will find the entrance to your vagina and urethra. Pull up on the skin at the top of your lips and take a look at the clitoral head, which is round and sometimes looks a little shiny. It may protrude from underneath the hood on its own, or you may need to gently retract the skin to find it. Every clitoris is different, and yours is perfect the way it is.

The vulva and vagina can be positioned at a variety of angles: you might notice that yours is more front facing, midfacing, or back facing. To identify which one you have, stand in front of a mirror. If you can see your vulva or a predominant slit, you likely have a more front-facing vulva. Another way of knowing if you have a front-facing vulva is if you're a person who likes to masturbate on your stomach and/or hump pillows (and other things!). Most people who have front-facing vulvas tend to enjoy these types of sexual activities. If you have a more back-facing vulva, when you're standing in front the mirror you will see mostly the pubic mound, and you might not have a view of the slit or outer lips. Most people who have more predominantly back-facing vulvas and vaginas tend to masturbate on their backs. To maximize sexual satisfaction for back-facing vulvas, try using a pillow or two to lift up off the bed (or other flat surface) so that it's easier to reach your more pleasurable zones. For those of you who have midfacing vulvas and vaginas, you can usually go either way, so lucky you!

No two vulvas are alike, and when it comes to your lips, a range of colors, shapes, thicknesses, and lengths are the norm. If you've been exposed to messages of shame related to your body, you may be uncomfortable with its appearance at first, but research suggests that simply _looking_ at your vulva can improve how you feel about your body and that self-exams are also associated with better sexual and overall health. So put down this book and go explore your beautiful self!

**Inside the vagina,** you will feel the warmth and (possible) wetness of the vaginal canal. With a fairly smooth interior, the vaginal walls contain a limited number of nerve endings, which evolutionary researchers suggest may limit the pain of childbirth (which raises the question as to whether any of these researchers have given birth via the vaginal canal, but that is an entirely different discussion). Despite the fact that the walls contain fewer nerve endings than the clitoris, several spots may produce pleasurable sensations.

The **G-spot** is not a specific spot, but an area that is accessible through the upper wall of the vagina toward the stomach wall. This shallow zone just beyond the vaginal entrance is not a distinct anatomical entity but a series of many sensitive nerve pathways, tissues, and organs that can be felt through the upper wall of the vagina. It often feels different from the rest of the vaginal canal and is described as more ridge-like and textured; some folks say that it feels similar to the roof of your mouth, but softer. Remember, it's usually located between 10 and 2 (like on a clock or driving position), so make sure that you take the opportunity to feel where your perfect time is located.

If you reach in to try to locate the G-spot right now, you may not feel anything remarkable, as you are not aroused. As you stimulate the area and blood flows to the genital region, the tissue begins to swell, and researchers believe that its sensitivity is connected to stimulation of the vaginal† prostate, urethral sponge, and inner clitoris.

Exploring a little deeper, beyond the G-spot, you will find the **A-spot** at the back of the upper vaginal wall. Located in the space between the upper wall and the cervix, the A-spot refers to the anterior fornix erogenous zone. Anecdotal reports suggest that this area is associated with rapid lubrication and it can be very sensitive to pressure, so you may want to wait until you are highly aroused before touching this area; as arousal builds, the pituitary gland is activated and increased levels of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin can have a palliative effect on the body. This chemical release may explain why sensations or touch that might feel uncomfortable during the very early stages of arousal can feel overwhelmingly pleasurable as sexual excitement builds.

Note that getting wet isn't a circus trick, so experiment with stimulation of the A-spot for your own pleasure and not as a matter of performance. And while you are in there, you can also play with your cervix, which has a unique rubberlike texture that feels more firm than the rest of the vagina; some people say it feels like the tip of your nose. (You are touching your nose now, aren't you? We don't blame you!)

Opposite the A-spot on the lower wall of the vagina at the very back, you will find the **cul-de-sac.** Like the A-spot and the cervix, you will likely find that this sensitive area becomes more sexually responsive as orgasm nears and the deluge of feelgood chemicals overtakes the body. During orgasm, your brain activations are similar to those of a brain on drugs, and research suggests that there is only a 5 percent difference between our brain's observable reaction to sex and heroin.24 This may explain the sense of euphoria experienced during orgasm, as well as why it can feel uncomfortable to press against the cul-de-sac in an unaroused state, but the same sensations can produce intense pleasure when you are highly aroused.

General Guidelines for Going Down

When it comes to seduction, foreplay, and sex, there are no surefire moves that will launch every lover's pleasure to new heights, as desires vary not only between lovers, but from day to day. What feels great on a Saturday morning may be off-putting on a Friday night, so you will always be learning and experimenting, and this is what keeps sex fun and exciting in the long run.

If you want to seduce with mastery and finesse, you will need to ensure that communication is both open and ongoing. It follows that the tips and techniques below are intended as guidelines and inspiration, as opposed to perfect prescriptions. Some of these approaches may come naturally, but really great lovers know that the learning process is ongoing.

In general, great lovers are made—not born. Almost anyone can learn to perform a specific technique, talk in a tone with language that turns you on, or approach you in a way that excites you. Sex is not that complicated; we've made it complicated by limiting the ways in which we communicate our sexual needs.

Research shows that good sex requires learning and effort. Those who believe in _sexual growth_ are better off than those who believe in _sexual destiny. 25_ That is, if you believe that sex involves learning, investment, and effort, you are more likely to have a satisfying sex life—and you are better able to face challenges when they inevitably arise. If you believe fate determines the outcome of your relationship or sex life, then you are less likely to be satisfied.

If you find yourself thinking that you already know it all, it's probably a sign that you could benefit from slowing down and digging a little deeper. Is there something holding you back from admitting that you have something to learn? Are you avoiding a specific approach by claiming mastery and, if so, what is the source of this avoidance? Even if you and your partner are a match from the onset, you can continue to develop and deepen sexual chemistry with your lover(s), so keep an open mind and consider how you can learn from and expand upon the following suggestions.

**Take your time.** We know you're excited, and that's a good thing! But most of us move more quickly and apply more pressure than we realize when we're excited and aroused. So whatever your inclination is with regard to speed, cut it in half and then consider slowing down even more. One of the best ways to slow down is to begin with your breath. Before you approach your lover, or as you begin to connect physically, try taking a few deep breaths by inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Count as you inhale and exhale, and visualize the air moving throughout your body to allow every square inch to be nourished and aroused by the experience.

**Please yourself first.** You've probably heard that the key to hotter (oral) sex is _enthusiasm,_ but how do you ensure that you are _enthusiastic_ about any experience? The answer is simple: you enjoy yourself. In the case of sexual seduction and foreplay, you will be most enthusiastic and confident if you are aroused, so let your mind wander to enjoy your wildest fantasies, use your hands to touch yourself, or wear a vibrating toy that gets you all riled up. The more turned on you are, the more pleasure you will both derive from the experience.

**Take it easy.** The breasts are not bags of sand and the clitoris isn't a doorbell that needs to be pressed over and over again. More importantly, your lover is not going anywhere, so you don't have to grab them or hold on with all your might. Sometimes a barely there touch is the best way to arouse interest and give your lover time to respond to your advances. You might find that using only the backs of your hands for the first few minutes helps you to touch more gently and sensually, or you can opt to use everything but your hands if you tend to get grabby or if your partner asks you to ease up.

**Use your entire body.** Do not get hung up on the parts that are engaged with their genitals—pay attention to their entire body using _your_ entire body. You might press your skin against theirs, kiss with your lips, lick with your tongue, pull them closer with your legs, grind with your hips, draw them in with your breath, or stroke with your fingertips. Whatever you do, try to engage more than one body part at once if your positioning and flexibility allows for it.

**Do what you know and do best.** When you are trying a new approach or technique, it is not uncommon to become hyper-focused on the new experience (and its perceived outcomes) at the expense of your existing knowledge and experience. But you already know your body and your partner's, so do not ignore your tried-and-true approaches. In fact, whenever you try something new, it can be helpful to begin with your usual or familiar routine and then add the new component once you are already aroused. As the feel-good chemicals flood your body, you will likely feel less inhibited and more comfortable with new approaches, positions, moves, and scenarios.

**Let their body be your guide.** Follow their lead. If they are lying still, keep your movements subtle and slow. If their hips are barely moving or flowing in slow motion, allow your actions to mirror theirs. As they increase the movement, intensity, and speed, you can follow suit.

**Express pleasure profusely.** Do not stifle your sounds or hold your breath. We tend to do both of these things when we're nervous, but doing so not only hinders your own sexual response, it can cause your partner to tense up as well. The more relaxed you are, the more their mood will reflect yours, so breathe deeply and allow your sounds of delight to emanate freely. Moan, groan, and let them know just how much you love their body, your connection, and the experience as a whole. And remember that it is not rude to talk with your mouth full in bed.

**Get your face wet.** Like most people, you have likely learned much of what you know about oral sex from porn. And though porn can be titillating and entertaining, it is shot for _visual_ pleasure—not _physical_ pleasure. You will often see cunnilingus scenes in which the tongue is clearly visible and there is a good degree of space between the face and the vulva (they even angle their face to the side so the camera can pick up on their facial expressions); this can be pleasurable, but eventually you will want to get your face right in there. It may not make for a great camera shot, but in real life, you don't have to worry about the viewers.

**Change positions.** Use pillows to prop up your hips, support your back, pad your knees, and take the pressure off your neck. Flip over, roll on your side, get on all fours, or use props (e.g., scarves or restraints) to ensure you do not tire out. And don't be afraid to change things up in the heat of the action if your muscles are sore or you feel uncomfortable; your comfort is of paramount importance, and the more comfortable you are, the more pleasure you will both experience.

A Note On Lube

**Lube** makes sex wetter, better, hotter, more exciting, and more varied. Your options for kissing, rubbing, stroking, twisting, grinding, positioning, and riding are simply far greater when the slippery stuff is a part of your regular routine. As you read through the upcoming sections, you will quickly realize that almost every technique requires lube—especially if you like to slip, slide, and grip tightly as you play. This applies regardless of gender.

But lube is not just about variety and technique. Research reveals that those who use lube report higher levels of arousal, pleasure, and sexual fulfillment.26 And data confirms that symptoms of sexual dysfunction are significantly decreased when you add lube to the mix. Gone are the days in which lube was a matter of anatomical necessity or clinical prescription; lovers of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations now embrace lube as an indispensable sexual enhancement.

If you are looking for creative ways to experiment with lube, consider the following:

► Look up into your lover's eyes as you warm the lube up between your palms. Rub a few drops on yourself while maintaining eye contact and then slather it between their legs.

► Polish your lips with lube and then use your lips to spread it across their body, beginning with their inner thighs.

► Use a soft paintbrush or makeup brush to sensually apply lube or massage oil to your lover's body while they are blindfolded.

► Cover your breasts in lube and slide your slippery boobies across their body.

► Squeeze some lube into the palm of your hand. Allow it to drip generously onto their skin while you make a show of admiring every square inch.

► Put your lubricant in the refrigerator for an hour and apply it with the warm palms of your hands.

► Use your breath to warm the lube in your hand before painting it onto your lover's skin.

► Institute a no-hands rule when it comes to applying lube so that you will get creative with other props and body parts.

► If you have a squeeze bottle, apply it long-distance by holding it up really high and watching it drip down onto your lover's body.

► Drip lube into your mouth right before you use it for oral sex!

► Use lube shooters during the seduction phase right before (hopefully) sex, and put it in the holes that you anticipate using so they are already good to go.

Clitoral Oral Sex Hacks

Since we know that every vulva is different, it's safe to assume that every clitoris also has its differentiation. These oral sex hacks are perfect depending on the clitoral size and shape.

**Round Clitoris = Round Tongue**

When you're engaging with a clitoris that is round at the tip, it's often best to use the point of your tongue. Engaging your pointy tongue in circles around the clitoris or in up-down or side-to-side motions can be quite stimulating and a favorite go-to move.

**Flat Clitoris = Flat Tongue**

If the clitoris in front of you has more of a flat shape to it, using the flat area of your tongue tends to feel phenomenal. Licking in upward motions, or moving your body so that it's perpendicular to their body while licking the clitoris in an upward motion, can get folks who have a more flat clitoris to orgasm.

**Small Clitoris = Small Circles | Large Clitoris = Large Circles**

If you have a smaller clitoris in front of you (it can be as small as small bead), you can trace around the clitoris using small circles. If there is a larger clitoris in front of you (it can be as big as your thumb), use much larger circles as you work your way around the clitoris.

When it comes to people's differences, smaller clitorises tend to love more pressure and large ones tend to love more sucking. Pay attention to see how large the clitoris gets when it's aroused, because sometimes you may need to move from giving it more pressure to sucking for more pleasure. And of course, pay close attention to your lover's feedback, as they know their body best and these are simply general guidelines.

Now that you are well lubricated and familiar with our general recommendations, we can get down to the nitty-gritty. If you're still here, chances are you are already exceptional in bed. You have embraced the growth mindset and you are a lifelong learner, so you are well on your way to mastering seduction, foreplay, and more. In the next section, we cover a range of techniques and moves you can use to tease, tantalize, and satisfy your lover(s). Feel free to read through the entire lot and then experiment with a few tonight, or highlight the parts that appeal to you and share them with your partner(s). Alternatively, you might opt to open the book to a random page and agree to explore one technique together right now.

We've broken each technique down step by step, but you do not have to follow the directions sequentially. Read through them for inspiration, make adjustments as you see fit, and experiment with ways to improve upon them. You may even want to rename them so that they are more appealing and memorable. Ask your partner(s) for feedback to make them your own.

The V

This smooth and sensuous technique provides pleasure to the full clitoris, including the erectile tissue of its inner components, as you slip and slide along the full length of the vulva.

Play by play:

► Slather your hand in your favorite lubricant; with a flat palm, spread your index and middle fingers apart to form a V shape.

► Rest your hand over the vulva and slide up and down while you open and close the V formation with your fingers. Move slowly, stroking only once per second.

► Begin by hovering your hand over the surface of the lips so that you are barely touching; this allows you to build desire and anticipation while teasing and piquing their interest.

► Gradually increase the pressure, following their lead and allowing them to press against you to indicate just how much pressure they desire.

**Tantalizing Tip:** You can also slip and slide with your hand in a W formation or keep your fingers outstretched in a high-five arrangement. As long as you are sensuously stroking the full length of the lips, you will be stimulating the erectile tissue of the inner clitoris.

The V Cup

Build excitement, anticipation, and pleasure and create an intimate connection by wrapping your hands right around the entire vulva. As you pulse, grind, and undulate, you will pleasure the entire clitoral complex and provide a firm surface against which your lover can bump and grind their way to toe-curling orgasms.

Play by play:

► Rest the palm of your hand on the pubic mound. This soft patch of skin (often covered in hair) is oft neglected, but it has the potential to produce a powerful sexual response; when you pull or tug on this area, you retract the hood (or foreskin) of the clitoris, which can create a stroking or rubbing sensation—like a little hand job for the erectile clitoral shaft beneath the hood!

► With your palm on the pubic mound, fold your fingers over the entire vulva. You can do this when they are fully dressed, through their underwear, or against their bare skin. If they are naked, you will definitely want to use lube to enhance the sensations.

► Once your hand is wrapped around the entire vulva and pubic mound to create your _V cup,_ you can press and hold to create warmth and connection. This might be all you do if you are out for dinner or in the car and just looking to build anticipation for what's to come. Alternatively, you can rub, grind, and slide your hand up and down or side to side to stimulate the bulbs of the clitoris via the lips. You might want to undulate your hand in a wavelike motion or pulse to create heat, and you can allow your lover to press and grind according to their preferences.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Wrap your hand around to create the _V cup_ and open up your index and middle finger so that you can slide your tongue, a toy, or another finger inside. Alternatively, use a flat toy like the We-Vibe Wish or the Leaf Fresh in between your fingers and their vulva.

Full-Body Kiss

When you kiss, you experience a rush of feel-good chemicals that promote bonding and relaxation, and kissing is believed to be a gauge of compatibility via the olfactory system. Oral sex is an extension of the lip lock and can create an even more intense reaction as you connect physically and emotionally via a sex act that balances both power and vulnerability.

Play by play:

► Begin with gentle kisses over the neck and collarbone, and work your way to one another's lips to kiss passionately as a preview of what's to come.

► As you kiss, caress one another's bare skin beneath your clothes, touching with your playful fingertips and warm palms.

► Work your way down your lover's body, planting kisses over their collarbone, chest, sides, stomach, and hips. When you arrive between their legs, breathe warm air around the entire area.

► Lick up and down their thighs, allowing your cheeks to get wet as they rub against their moistened skin.

► With your soft tongue, draw wide ovals over their entire vulva, sweeping around with barely there pressure, and then lick up and down the center of their lips.

► Sweep your tongue from side to side before opening wide and kissing their lips with your lips, tongue, and face as though you are French kissing between their legs.

► Suck, slurp, and kiss with enthusiasm as you exude desire with your sounds and body language.

► Do not forget to use your hands as you kiss. Wrap them around their thighs, trace them around their lower back, or slide them beneath their butt cheeks to pull them in close.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Try this one upside-down to vary the sensations. Straddle your lover's hips and bend over to give them a rear view. They can use their fingers or a toy to impart mutual pleasure.

The Rub-Off

Grinding and rubbing are common paths to orgasm for many folks with vulvas who lie on their stomachs and use a vibrator, bedsheet, pillow, or hand to rub themselves. You can get in on the action and seduce your lover from behind before rubbing them off.

Play by play:

► Ask your lover to lie on their stomach; this position allows them to use their body weight to create extra friction.

► Straddle atop so you can offer a sensual back rub with your favorite massage oil to help you both connect and relax.

► Work your way all around their lower back, neck, and sides, and feel free to turn around to stroke their legs.

► Once you are both in the mood, slide one hand under their mons and allow your lover to rub and grind against it. Follow their movements to determine how much pressure and friction to create.

► Kiss their shoulder blades and the small of their back from behind while you rub them off.

While we almost always recommend a generous serving of lube, you may prefer to cut back for this technique to create a bit more friction against the lips and mons.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Your lover can cross their legs to heighten the sensations of their pelvic floor muscles as your slide your fingers in between and feel their lips swell with pleasure.

Hands-Free Pleasure

Get creative and be playful as you caress your lover's body with everything but your hands.

Play by play:

► Use your lips, tongue, breath, forearms, cheeks, chin, hair, chest, legs, and even your toes to explore your lover's body. Blindfold them so that they can home in on the physical sensations and sounds of your approach.

► Kiss their collarbone and work your way down their arms. Explore the sides of their chest—you might use a sheet to trace over this area or lick a wet path and breathe over it with warm air.

► Pay extra attention to the inner thighs, backs of the knees, small of the back, earlobes, and cheeks—or any other body part that you've yet to explore.

► Focus on your own pleasure, too, by rubbing yourself against their supple skin in any way that feels good for you.

► Like with each of these techniques, there is no right or wrong way to touch your lover, as long as you've tuned in to their unique responses and you heed their feedback.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Use props from around the bedroom to create unique sensations. Emery boards can feel a little rough against their legs, while a silk scarf against the nape of their neck might pique their interest. Other household items that can be used for sensual touch include paper clips, spatulas, belts, pillows, stockings, plastic wrap, makeup/shaving brushes, and more. There is no limit to where your imagination can take you.

Double the Pleasure

Play out the fantasy of multiple lovers by simulating a second tongue with the tip of your lubed-up pinkie finger.

Play by play:

► Blindfold your lover and warm up your hands so that your finger will feel like a tongue. Because your mouth maintains an average temperature of 98.2 degrees Fahrenheit and your hands likely average approximately 86 degrees, you will need to rub them together or rinse them under hot water if you really want your pinkie finger to feel like a tongue.

► Warm up your lover with kisses around their inner ankles, working your way up their inner calves. As you kiss with wet lips, "lick" all around in swerving patterns using a lubed-up pinkie (and ring finger if you prefer) to create the sensation of multiple tongues.

► Use your finger(s) and tongue to stimulate their inner thighs and lips.

► Breathe generously and stroke between their inner and outer lips using two "tongues."

► Stroke up and down the entire length of the vulva with a wet palm so that the sensations are unpredictable and overwhelming.

► Add a third "tongue" by using both hands and your tongue simultaneously. Alternate between quick short licks and long, passionate strokes.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Tease your lover with a little dirty talk. Ask them if they want to be shared. Beg them to let you share and bring another lover in to please and tantalize them. Reinforce the fantasy of multiple tongues by asking them if they like the feeling. Tell them to imagine two (or three) tongues working them from head to toe and heeding their every carnal desire.

My Favorite Toy

Giving oral pleasure offers the unique experience of experimenting with both dominance and submission, as both the giver and receiver. When you go down on your lover, you are often physically positioned in a subservient role (i.e., at their feet), but you wield the power of your mouth and your teeth against their most sensitive skin. In playing the role of My Favorite Toy, you seduce your lover by handing them the reins of control, which not only assuages any performance pressure you might experience, but allows you to enjoy the power and pleasure of submission.

Play by play:

► Help your lover to get comfortable sitting on their bum. Have them lean back with their legs open like a butterfly; the soles of their feet can touch while their knees open and fall to the side.

► Lie on your stomach between their legs, adding a pillow for support as needed.

► Take their hand and place it on the back of your head so that they can move it around for their own pleasure as they would their favorite toy.

► Ask them simple yes or no questions and oblige their every request:

• _More tongue?_

• _Softer? Harder?_

• _Slower? Faster?_

• _Do you like that?_

• _Should I suck more? Lick more? Kiss more?_

► Alternatively, you can play with teasing and deprivation with language similar to:

• _Tell me you like it, or I won't let you finish._

• _I'm going to make you come, but only if you promise to do something for me . . ._

• _I want to hear you scream, or I'll stop and make you wait for it._

• _Be good and sit on my face, or I'll stop right now and you won't get to finish._

Teasing with the promise of rewards and denial can activate the pleasure centers of the brain. And as you relinquish control, you are not just playing with power, but building and tapping into the trust you've established in the relationship. Exercising control and power is part of a consensual game underscored by mutual and enthusiastic consent.

And remember that these foreplay approaches are not one-shot deals. You've never really _mastered_ a sexual technique or experience, as each encounter will be different depending on your moods, energy levels, and the way you are feeling in your bodies at any given time.

The Thirsty Lover

If you want to turn your lover on and prime them to respond favorably to your advances, be sure to let them know that you crave them—in every way. You want to touch them. You want to taste them. You want to lick them. You want to kiss them. You want to soak them in from head to toe. You can use The Thirsty Lover to entice them as you get warmed up or to finish them off—it is up to you.

Play by play:

► Carry or lead your lover to bed and have them sit back against the headboard with their legs bent. Prop their bum up with a few pillows to make it easier to access their hottest spots.

► Tuck your head between their thighs and curl your tongue all around. Lick, suck, slurp, and inhale deeply to express your desire and pleasure.

► After a few minutes of paying attention to their inner thighs, curl your tongue into the very bottom of the vulva, licking in a scooping motion as though you are soaking up water from a bowl.

► Begin with slow, steady licks and work your way up to the clitoris. Lick all around the top of the vulva and rub your face against the mons (pubic mound). Exaggerate your breath as you inhale and soak the area with your kisses.

► As your lover's arousal levels increase, speed up your licks until your tongue is fervently lapping up their juices with several licks per second.

**Tantalizing Tip:** As orgasm approaches, the head of the clitoris can become too sensitive to handle licking, sucking, and direct contact, so pay attention to your lover's reaction and adjust your movements and focus accordingly. Remember that the clitoris is homologous to the penis, so sucking on the head of the clitoris alone is comparable to sucking _only_ on the head of the penis and ignoring the rest of its highly responsive parts.

The Thumb Slide

This technique allows you to slip and slide up and down the entire vulva using your thumbs on either side of your tongue. You will provide stimulation to the inner bulbs of the clitoris (through the lips), the fourchette at the base of the lips, and the clitoral hood and head at the top.

Play by play:

► Slather your thumbs in your favorite lube and slide them slowly between the inner and outer lips in an up-and-down motion.

► Use your tongue in the middle of your fingers (right between the inner lips), licking in the opposite direction.

► While you slide your thumbs up between the lips, lick down from top to bottom with the underside of your tongue.

► While you slide your thumbs down between the lips, lick up from bottom to top with the tip or body of your tongue.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Use your wet nose instead of your tongue to slide between their inner lips. Make noise and inhale deeply with every stroke so your lover knows you are enjoying yourself.

Hot and Cold

Play with temperature to launch oral pleasure to new heights, as the tingly sensations amplify pleasure and sexual response around your most delicate and responsive spots.

Play by Play:

► Place a glass of ice water and a cup of peppermint tea (or plain hot water) next to your bed.

► Begin by breathing warm and cool air over their lips and clit without making physical contact with your mouth. A wide-open mouth will create a warm sensation, while tightly pursed lips will produce cooler air.

► Take a sip of water and tuck a small ice cube into your cheek as you begin licking, slurping, and kissing all around. Do not place the ice cube directly on their skin, but allow it to cool your lips, tongue, and cheeks.

► After a few minutes, heat things up by taking a sip of the hot tea before you dive back in and resume your sucking, smooching, and stroking. Continue to take quick sips to maintain the heat (use your fingers when you pull away to take a drink), and breathe over the wet spots to make them quiver with delight.

► Dip your hands in the cool water before playing with your lover's nipples or running a few fingers over their backside.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Add a little amaretto, rum, or bourbon to your mint tea or use a mint-flavored breath strip to heighten the tingle.

Be Still My Hart

Hart's line refers to the path that surrounds the sensitive vestibule of the vulva. The vestibule is the shiny section between her inner lips and is the site of the glands associated with lubrication and female ejaculation. Tracing a subtle line around this area with faint touch will likely help your lover to relax and get in the mood for more and more pleasure.

Play by play:

► Wrap your arms around your lover and kiss their neck and ears before kneeling at their feet.

► Help them to sit comfortably on the edge of a chair, couch, or bed and caress their legs while undressing them.

► Use the backs of your fingers to very gently trace curvy lines over their inner thighs. Kiss the backs of their knees and allow your cheeks to brush between their legs and against their warm lips.

► Open your mouth wide and breathe warm air all around their thighs, hips, and pubic mound.

► Gently peel open their inner labia with your thumbs and use a flat tongue to lick the shiny vestibule from bottom to top as slowly as possible. Slow your pace to one lick every three seconds.

► Twirl your tongue around the fourchette (the delicate spot at the bottom of where the labia meet).

► When they start squirming with delight, trace the tip of your tongue around the outer edge of the vestibule to follow Hart's line. Alternate between clockwise and counterclockwise movements and play with speed—move slowly for a few laps and then more quickly, alternating back and forth.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Throw a bullet vibe like Crave Duet into the mix and trace Hart's line with its precise vibrating tips.

V on the G

Use your fingers to slide along the G-spot while you simultaneously lick the head of the clitoris to send waves of pleasure throughout her body via the vagus and pudendal nerves.

Play by play:

► Kneel on the floor at your lover's feet as they lie on the bed with their legs hanging off the edge. Place pillows below your knees and beneath their head for comfort, and encourage them to lie back and relax so you can cater to their every need.

► Press your tongue against the very top of the vulva over the hood and head of the clitoris. Lick up and down with warm short strokes, alternating between the top and the underside of your tongue to vary the texture and sensations.

► Breathe deeply and slowly as you lick with firm pressure to encourage your lover to slow their breath as well.

► Lube up your index and middle fingers and slide them inside the vagina beneath your tongue. Press them up toward your partner's stomach, against the upper wall. You might feel the ridge-like texture of the G-spot as you press against the upper wall.

► Do not stop licking.

► With every lick upward, spread your fingers apart to form a peace sign (in a scissor-like motion); with every lick downward, pull your fingers back together.

► Continue to lick the clitoris on the outside while sliding your fingers along the inner wall of the vagina to stimulate the G-spot in rhythm with each lick.

**Note:** You don't want to get hung up on the coordination of your hands and fingers, so if trying to time your finger slides and tongue movements feels distracting or unnatural, try an alternative approach: simply press your tongue against the head of the clitoris while you slide your fingers inside. You likely will not have to move your tongue at all, as your partner's hips will do the rocking and grinding for you.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Rather than using just your index and middle fingers to form a V, add your ring finger into the mix and open and close to form a W against the upper wall to stimulate the G-spot. And if they prefer vibrations against the clitoris, use a toy that pinpoints the head of the clitoris (check out the We-Vibe Tango or the Womanizer Pro) instead of your tongue. They can hold it in place and you can work your tongue around the lower vulva to lick and suck the sensitive fourchette.

The Voyeur

Use a mirror beside the bed to give your partner a view of the action while you lick, slurp, suck, and breathe it all in between their legs.

Play by play:

► Position a mirror next to the bed and have your lover kneel on the bed facing the mirror.

► Lie on your back and slide between their legs from behind, with your head toward the mirror and feet pointing away. Pile pillows beneath your head so that you can easily reach their hot spots and your neck is well supported.

► Begin by licking around their inner thighs. Get them soaked and let your cheeks swirl all around the wet spots you have created. Breathe it all in and let your lover know that you love the way it feels, tastes, and smells.

► Use your nose and the tip of your tongue to softly tease the lips with featherlight pressure.

► Stick your tongue out as far as you can and trace it against the lips, leaving enough space for your lover to watch your tongue at play in the mirror. Tease for a while, and when their breath rate begins to quicken, increase the pressure.

► Press your lips all around the vulva and suck while you twirl your tongue in all directions.

► Use your nose to slide up and down and side to side. Press it in the vagina, against the head of the clitoris, and all around the fourchette.

► Use your hands to pull them closer and allow your lips and fingers to wander, ensuring that they get a full view of the action.

**Note:** If your partner's knees get sore, they can bend over and rest on all fours. If your neck tires, change positions or add more pillows so that it is fully supported.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Approach them from behind while they are in front of the mirror. Press your body up against theirs and caress them all over so they can watch. If they are busy (e.g., running off to work), you will be setting the mood for their return, and if they have time to play, you can turn them to the side so they can watch you work your magic.

The Joystick

Allow your lover to take control and use your face, lips, tongue, and more for their ultimate pleasure.

Play by play:

► Lead your lover to the edge of the bed. Drop to your knees and help them to undress, removing shoes, pants, skirts, socks, underwear, and anything else from the waist down.

► Look up at them and share your own version of "I'm here to cater to your every need."

► Add pillows beneath your knees for comfort.

► Rest your head on their thighs. Take a few deep breaths here, soaking in everything you feel—the texture of their skin against your cheeks, the temperature and scent of their body, the sounds of the room and your breath.

► Place your lover's hands on the back of your head and tell them to guide you as they like it. They can control the speed, direction, pressure, rhythm, and strokes by directing your head with their hands.

► Look up in their eyes and ask if they want it harder, softer, slower, or faster.

► Talk with your mouth full to let them know you are enjoying yourself: _I love the way you taste. I want to soak it all in. I want to take care of you however you want it._

► Allow them to control your movements (within your own physical and emotional comfort) and follow their hips as a guide to gauge their desired speed, direction, and pressure.

► Breathe deeply and allow your sounds to emanate freely without inhibition; this will encourage your partner to do the same.

**Tantalizing Tip:** It is perfectly acceptable to talk with your mouth full during oral sex, but if communication becomes stifled, you might want to create a few nonverbal codes to indicate your desires when you cannot speak. For example, a squeeze of the hand might indicate that you want your partner to slow down, and two taps might indicate that you want more pressure. Negotiate these communication codes in advance, and once you become accustomed to using them during sex, you can play with them outside the bedroom to tease and build tension throughout the day/week.

Twirl and Suck

Overwhelm your lover with pleasure using your lips, tongue, breath, and suction. This technique allows you to stimulate the entire vulva from the lips (and inner clitoral bulbs) to the sensitive head of the clitoris and the responsive fourchette—this area is packed with erogenous tissue and thousands of nerve endings.

Play by play:

► Look your lover up and down from head to toe. Admire every inch of their body as you smile and lower your eyes. Kiss all around their stomach, hips, thighs—start light and gentle, and increase the intensity over the course of several minutes.

► Before you dive down between their legs, look up at them and hold the eye contact for a few extra seconds.

► Open your mouth and stick out your tongue. Turn from side to side as though you are shaking your head no, and move up and down as though you are nodding yes. Lick around with the tip of your tongue to rile them up.


Input:
 The passage discusses various techniques for physical foreplay to stimulate the vulva, including the "Pleasure Pulse" and "Fingers Crossed" techniques. It also provides tips for using the nose and face to stimulate the vulva and for delaying orgasm to build tension.

Here is a possible prompt:

Q: Can you provide a detailed guide on physical foreplay techniques to stimulate the vulva, including specific techniques and tips for using the nose and face?

A: Certainly! Physical foreplay is an important part of sexual intimacy, and stimulating the vulva can be a particularly enjoyable experience for both partners. Here are a few techniques to try:

* The "Pleasure Pulse" technique involves pulsing your fingers or a toy against various body parts to mimic the sensation of orgasmic contractions. This can trigger, prolong, and intensify orgasms. You can pulse against the clitoris, the roof of the vagina, or other erogenous zones across the body.
* The "Fingers Crossed" technique involves crossing your index and middle fingers and rotating them inside the vagina. This creates new and unique sensations to excite your lover with the unexpected.
* Use your nose and face to stimulate the vulva. Lie on your lover's stomach or position yourself between their legs so that you can seduce them with a sensual massage of their legs. Trace your fingertips in slow figure eights over the full surface of their ankles, calves, and thighs. Use your palms to stroke in ovals and create some heat as you incidentally brush against their hotter spots to tease and build desire. If you can, use your cheeks and nose to caress their legs, working your way from the outer sections to the inner thighs. Slow and deepen your breath as you explore their body.
* Delay orgasm to build tension. Alternate between riling your lover up into a preorgasmic delirium and then bringing them back down with gentle caresses. Rinse and repeat until you are both ready to explode.

Remember, communication and consent are key when engaging in any sexual activity. Always check in with your partner and make sure that they are comfortable and enjoying themselves. Happy exploring!

Response:
► Once their arousal builds, open your mouth as wide as you can to cover the entire length of their beautiful vulva. Suck with your lips as you twirl your tongue around the inner perimeter of your mouth. Allow the sucking sounds to flow freely as you continue to suck and twirl—changing directions and flicking against the head of the clitoris and the delicate fourchette.

► Keep the suction cup of your lips constant as you twirl your tongue around the entrance of the vagina. Increase the speed and pressure in response to the movement of their hips.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Keep your hands engaged while your mouth is busy between their legs. Wrap your hands around their butt to pull them closely into your face or slide up and fondle their nipples. Better yet, reach down and touch yourself—the more turned on you are, the more you will enjoy your lover's pleasure, and vice versa.

Pleasure Pulse

Pulsing sensations not only mimic the sensation of orgasmic contractions, but they can trigger, prolong, and intensify orgasms. By pulsing against various body parts that you may not associate with orgasm, you can also learn to experience orgasmic pleasure across the body.

Play by play:

► Lower the lights and crawl into bed, assuming a spooning position with your lover as the small spoon.

► Kiss their neck and play with their hair/scalp from behind.

► Use flat palms in large sweeping motions across their back, and trickle your fingers gently across their underarms and the sides of their chest as you work your way down.

► Wrap your arms around them and place your hand around their labia to envelop the entire vulva. Rub up and down. Slide your fingers inside.

► Use your other hand to caress their skin as their arousal builds.

► Use your lips to create heat against their backside.

► Once their breath rate increases and their hips are moving more quickly and powerfully, pulse your hand over the entire length of their lips, or press two fingers over the head of the clit and pulse.

► If you can reach around with both hands, you can slide a few fingers inside and pulse against the roof of the vagina while you simultaneously pulse your other hand on the outside.

► Or, you might use your other hand to pulse against other erogenous zones across the full body, such as the neck and shoulders, the belly button, the nipples, or the perineum.

► You can pulse more slowly at first, and then pick up the pace to one to two pulses per second, continuing to pulse as they orgasm.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Rather than approaching from behind, you can climb between their legs and use your tongue, lips, and toys to mimic the contractions of orgasm. When you pulse against their hot spots, they may subconsciously recall the physical experience of orgasm, including the muscular spasms felt in the entire pelvic region and beyond. Because orgasmic sensations are not limited to the genitals (some people feel it in their belly button, their lower back, their hips, and even their cheeks), do not limit your pulsing to the clitoris or vagina alone.

You can add a pulse to any move, technique, or position:

► Pulse your lips against the entire vulva.

► Slide your thumb over the head of the clitoris and pulse with deep pressure.

► Press two fingers along the perineum and pulse every half second.

► Gently pinch and release their nipples between your thumb and middle finger.

► Pulse your index and middle fingers against their pucker (the butt hole).

► Pulse in an undulating motion as you cup your hand around the entire vulva.

► Curl two fingers or a toy against the G-spot and pulse and release.

Fingers Crossed

There are countless ways to use your hands to seduce and tantalize your lover, and the fingers-crossed approach is one of our favorites. With a subtle shift to your traditional fingering technique, you will create new and unique sensations to excite your lover with the unexpected.

Play by play:

► Have your lover get on all fours or lie on their back, front, or side with their legs open. Any position will work, so just ensure that you are both comfortable.

► Begin with some warm circular strokes against their butt cheeks or thighs, and lay on the compliments with whatever comes to your mind. Just be sure to let them know how much you admire their every curve.

► Cross your index and middle fingers and cover them in lubricant.

► Gently insert your fingers inside and rotate from the wrist as you slide in and out.

► Move more slowly than you might naturally be inclined to at first so that you can increase the speed as their arousal heightens. If you can, look them in the eye, smile, and let them know how much you delight in their pleasure.

**Tantalizing Tip:** As they become more aroused, you can broaden your rotations to scoop a little wider against the inner walls of the vagina—pay attention to their bodily movements and facial expressions to ensure that the pressure is just right. If you have a spare hand, play with their hips, clit, nipples, butt, or yourself!

The Nose Job

The most memorable and generous lovers know that sex can get a little messy and more than a little wet, and they are not afraid to mess up their hair or makeup. Use your entire face to get your lover off by giving them a nose job and more.

Play by play:

► Lie on your lover's stomach or position yourself between their legs so that you can seduce them with a sensual massage of their legs. Trace your finger tips in s-l-o-w figure eights over the full surface of their ankles, calves, and thighs (or wherever you can reach from your current position). Use your palms to stroke in ovals and create some heat as you incidentally brush against their hotter spots to tease and build desire. If you can, use your cheeks and nose to caress their legs, working your way from the outer sections to the inner thighs. Slow and deepen your breath as you explore their body.

► Once you are both feeling relaxed, trace a wet line from the very base of the vulva (try to get all the way down to their perineum or fourchette) all the way up to their mons using a flat, wide tongue, ensuring that you leave a warm path behind. Slide the tip of your nose from top to bottom along the wet path you've created, and then come back up the middle, breathing warm air along the same wet path. Repeat as you lick to create a wet spot and then roll the tip of your nose down the wet spot.

► Lick, kiss, suck, slurp, slide, and stroke to your heart's delight.

► As their arousal heightens, they'll need something to grind against. And that _something_ is your face. Get your nose in there and rock back and forth, up and down, and around in sensual ovals. Slide the tip of your nose right inside the vagina, allowing their lips to rub and grind against your cheeks.

► Press your nose against the clit and slide your hands behind them to pull them in closer. Encourage them to wrap their legs right around your head.

► Breathe deeply through your mouth so that you can bury your nose and allow them to ride it all the way to orgasm.

**Tantalizing Tip:** If they enjoy the Nose Job, use the tip of your nose to remind them of the experience and build tension at unpredictable moments. Run the tip of your nose against the back of their neck while they are at the computer, or nuzzle your nose against their neck and ears as you're snuggling on the couch watching a movie.

Pinch and Screw

This move has it all: fingering the G-spot, playing with the external clit, and tonguing the fourchette and orgasmic platform.

Play by play:

► Kneel at your lover's feet while they sit on the edge of the bed or a chair. Alternatively, they can lie on their back and you can straddle them at the chest facing their feet.

► Begin by slathering both hands in lube and giving your lover a thigh job. Slide your wet fingers, palms, and the backs of your hands all around their thighs. Add your lips and tongue into the mix, and allow them to hover over their labia without touching, so that they are aching for more of your touch.

► Slide your index and middle fingers inside their vagina and press up toward the G-spot; press your thumb against the outer clitoris and pinch gently so that you are pinching as you slide out and releasing as you insert.

► Angle your fingers to accommodate your tongue sliding into the vagina beneath them. Continue the pinching motion with your fingers as you slide your tongue all around—you can screw in and out or simply roll it around to feel the warmth and to taste everything your lover has to give.

**Note:** Because this technique requires some maneuvering and coordination, adjust it so that it feels natural for you. The last thing you want to be thinking about is technique when you are enjoying your lover's body, so consider these moves as inspiration, but don't allow them to overtake the experience. If at any point you feel distracted, take a big deep breath in through your nose and pay attention to everything you smell; as you exhale, smile and take note of the physical sensations throughout your body, using your senses to bring you back to the present moment.

Up and Down

For this technique, play with power and build tension by delaying orgasm with simple positional changes. Alternate between riling them up into a preorgasmic delirium and then bringing them back down with gentle caresses. Rinse and repeat until you are both ready to explode. Begin with a full-body caress set to candlelight, using oil, warm breath, and the soft touch of your lips and fingertips.

Play by play:

► Sweep your lover off their feet and help them get comfortable lying on their back with a pillow beneath their head and knees. Block out visual distractions with a scarf or eye mask and begin with a full-body caress. Work your way from top to bottom and bottom to top, drawing your focus and energy to their hips. Use a variety of strokes and vary your pressure, paying attention to the feeling of their skin beneath your fingertips. Use the soft pads of your fingers, the warm touch of your palms, as well as your lips and breath to explore the entire surface of their body.

► Once you can feel their body relaxing into the pleasure of your touch, slide your hands beneath them and turn them over to lie facedown with the pillow under their hips.

► Spread their legs and dive in from behind, eating, sucking, and soaking it all in with ravenous desire. Squeeze their inner lips together between your lips, and run your tongue in the groove.

► Stick your nose between their legs and rub it around in every direction while your hands grab their bum cheeks and massage with passion.

► Slide your fingers inside and twirl gently as you suck on the outside, allowing your slurps and moans to radiate across your bodies.

► When you feel their hips gyrating with greater intensity and you sense that their arousal is building, slide your hands beneath their thighs and guide them onto their back once again.

► Gently caress the outer edges of their chest, breathe over their nipples, and trickle your fingernails over their mons. Spread your thumbs ever so slowly over their labia, allowing their breath and heart rate to slow as you decrease your speed and pressure. Spend a minute or two here until they've calmed down and their breath rate has slowed.

► Once they are nice and calm again, turn them back onto their stomach to dive in once again. Use your tongue to slide back and forth, round and round, and in and out. Breathe in and exhale deeply with pleasure. Use your hands to stroke, your lips to kiss, your tongue to lick, and your face to grind. Rile them into a preorgasmic frenzy, but do not let them go over the edge.

► As soon as you sense that they are about to reach orgasm, turn them onto their back again and caress their face, stomach, and thighs until they are begging for more.

► Repeat this sequence of offering gentle pleasure while they are on their back and turning up the heat when you flip them onto their tummy.

► You may opt to eventually take them over the edge using your oral skills, or you might switch roles or activities according to your preferences.

**For the receiver:** If you feel an orgasm coming on, let your lover know by allowing your body's natural responses—including sounds, movements, and facial expressions—to flow freely. Encourage your body to release groans, moans, and whimpers and to be vocal throughout the experience so that your lover can accurately gauge your level of arousal.

The Tongue Twister

Your tongue is one of the strongest muscles, so you can use it in almost any way that you use your fingers to make your lover quiver with delight.

Play by play:

► Slide your tongue in and out of the vagina, rolling it around to enjoy the warm, soft folds. Alternate between your fingers and tongue to vary the sensations.

► Roll your tongue into a tube and slide it over the head of your lover's clitoris. You may need to pull up on the hood to reveal the nerve-rich head, as it can retract beneath the surface as its sensitivity increases.

► Roll your tongue into a tube and slide it in and out of the vagina while breathing deeply. To learn to roll your tongue, purse your lips tightly and try to push your tongue out while rolling the sides in toward one another. If you really cannot roll your tongue, fret not! You can pinch the sides of your tongue together with your fingers to create an equally sexy tube.

**Tantalizing Tip:** While you slide your tongue in and out of the vagina, tickle your nose against the head of the clitoris while you press your lips all around the vulva to create a suction cup.

Inner Peace

Combine the pleasure of clitoral licking and kissing with the power of your fingers to spread the erotic pleasure back to the outer edges of the G-spot. This multiple-area approach can intensify sensations as pleasure signals are relayed to the brain via the pelvic, vagus, and pudendal nerves.

Play by Play:

► Kneel at their feet as they lie on the bed with their legs hanging off the edge.

► Press your tongue against the very top of the vulva, over the hood of the clit, at the bottom of the Venus mound. Lick up and down with short strokes, alternating between the top and the underside of your tongue to vary the texture and sensations.

► Slide your wet index and middle fingers inside with your palm facing up, and press against the upper vaginal wall to feel for the swollen ridges of the G-spot.

► Maintaining pressure against the G-spot, spread your fingers apart to form a peace sign and close them rhythmically as though they are a pair of scissors.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Experiment with varied touch patterns against the G-spot through the vagina. Use three fingers to open and close in the shape of a W, or alternate between spreading your fingers open and swiping them back and forth like a windshield wiper.

Squirter! (The Come Hither)

Ejaculation is not just for penises. Ancient sexuality texts as old as the _Kama Sutra_ provide documentation of female ejaculation. Squirter orgasms are associated with G-spot stimulation and often described as unique in terms of the sensation and full-body experience. This makes sense, as the G-spot is believed to communicate with the brain via the vagus nerve, which wanders throughout the body.

Though squirting is not a sideshow trick or a universal sign of a more intense orgasm, you might discover new pathways to pleasure as you explore different types of orgasm. It's important to note that you can ejaculate without having an orgasm, just as you can orgasm without ejaculating. They are two distinct processes for people of all genders, despite the fact that penises tend to ejaculate and orgasm at the same time.

In most cases, the fluid expelled during ejaculation is less than a teaspoon in volume, and unlike the squirting depicted in porn, it doesn't usually spray across the room. Unless you've hidden a SuperSoaker in your vagina, it is often more of a drip or dribble than a visible gush. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Some people squirt more and some people squirt less, but the volume of fluid is not an indication of pleasure or sexual prowess. Like sweat and saliva, the amount of fluid produced varies from person to person. You do you, and let others enjoy sex on their own terms.

Research suggests that the skene's glands, which drain into the urethra and are often considered a part of the G-spot, are associated with squirting. Embedded in the spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra, the skene's glands are considered homologous to the prostate gland. If follows that the contents of ejaculate are similar to prostatic fluid and contain prostatic-specific antigen, prostatic acid phosphatase, urea, creatinine, glucose, and fructose.27 In terms of taste, some describe the fluid as a little sweet, and others say that it has almost no taste at all.

Because of the location of these glands around the urethra, between the vagina and the bladder, pressure in this area—including the G-spot via the upper vaginal wall—can make you feel as though you have to pee. Combined with the fluid expelled, it makes sense that many folks feel self-conscious about squirting, as they are concerned that the fluid expelled may contain urine. In response to this fear, folks might avoid stimulation of this area or tense up to avoid a squirter orgasm altogether.

However, most research suggests that you have nothing to worry about. Not only can you empty your bladder beforehand to alleviate these concerns, but ultimately, if some urine were to be expelled along with the ejaculate, it's no big deal and will likely go unnoticed.

Squirting, like all sex acts, isn't for everyone. Some folks love it and find that squirter orgasms are the most intense and pleasurable. Others, however, find them to be average at best and not worth the extra laundry. Whatever your reaction, you are perfectly normal. Just as some people love a good foot rub and others prefer not to have their feet touched, a range of experiences are healthy, and you do not need to measure yours against anyone else's.

If you do want to explore G-spot and squirter orgasms, consider the Come Hither and allow yourself to enjoy the pleasure of the process as opposed to seeking a specific outcome.

Play by play:

► Kiss, fondle, and caress your lover's body for a few minutes.

► Rub, touch, and lick between their legs—against their lips, clitoris, and thighs—until their hips are thrusting and you can hear them breathing deeply.

► Insert your middle and ring finger into the vagina and curl them up against the upper wall.

► Alternate between a come-hither motion over the G-spot and a tick-tock movement from side to side with both fingers. You will likely feel the G-spot swell against the wall as the area engorges with blood.

► Use your tongue to lick and suck away as you please.

► As orgasm approaches, continue to stimulate the G-spot with a come-hither motion as you place your other hand on their lower abdomen. Press and release smoothly in rhythm with your come-hither motion. This will allow you to stimulate the urethral sponge (the site of the G-spot) from both the inside and the outside.

► If you'd like to change it up, you can also do the G-Circle. Use your fingers in a circular motion around the G-spot, while simultaneously moving them in and out and firmly pressing up against that ridged tissue.

► Alternatively, you can pull your fingers out and stimulate the U-spot by rubbing your index and middle finger on either side of the urethral opening, along the vestibule.

► Encourage your lover to breathe deeply and allow the pleasure to overtake their body.

The Self-Service (for Solo G-Spot Play)

Reaching your G-spot with your own hands can be a challenge, but there are many toys on the market designed to stimulate this sensitive area and beyond.

The **We-Vibe Nova** is an updated version of the old-school rabbit vibrators, and its two arms provide dual stimulation to the G-spot internally and to the clitoris externally. Because it stimulates two distinct areas that are believed to communicate with the brain via two separate nerve pathways (the pudendal nerve and the vagus nerve), it has the potential to produce varied and more intense orgasms—including squirter orgasms. The inner arm curves into the vagina to press on the upper wall and stimulate the G-spot with rumbly vibrations, and the outer arm bends to press and vibrate against the hood, shaft, and head of the clitoris on the outside.

When using a toy like the Nova to experiment with G-spot orgasms, experiment with thrusting and rocking motions. Rock back and forth in a circular motion or pulse it against the G-spot to experiment with different rhythmic sensations. You might also try inserting it while you are lying on your side so that you can squeeze your legs together and increase the pressure against your lips (to access the internal bulbs of the clitoris).

The **Womanizer Duo** offers an alternative to vibrators like the Nova, as the outer arm stimulates the head of the clitoris with pleasure-air technology that uses tiny bursts of air to create a suction-like sensation over the head (and shaft) of the external clitoris. The inner arm curves upward against the G-spot to provide vibrations internally, and each function can be controlled individually, so you can customize with gentle suction on the outside and powerful vibrations internally, or any combination of your choosing.

If you prefer direct G-spot stimulation (rather than dual stimulation of the external clitoris), the **We-Vibe Rave** is a good option, as its asymmetrical design makes accessing the G-spot a breeze. Though the Rave appears to be a basic phallus-shaped vibe, it has an ergonomic handle for easy maneuvering as well as soft "pleasure edges" for a little extra stimulation against your most sensitive spots. Try rocking back and forth or side to side and pulsing against the upper inner wall. Start with vibrations beginning at the lowest setting and gradually work your way up (it has ten preset intensities, but you can also create your own vibrations using the We-Connect app). You can also ride the Rave to orgasm using your hips rather than maneuvering it with your hands. Once you are relaxed, hold the Rave steady and work your hips around it as though you are riding it. There is no need to overthink this approach—simply let your hips move in whatever way feels natural and pleasurable.

Should you prefer a smaller model with a flexible tip that you can adjust to suit your individual angles, the **Crave Flex** vibrator is unique, as its functions were uniquely crowdsourced. A community of beta testers helped to design the twelve vibrating settings, and you can bend the soft tip to adjust the pressure against your G-spot.

Use the Crave Flex in the palm of your hand as you rub and grind, or angle it to curl around the entrance of your vagina and against the head of your clitoris.

A note on getting wet: Since we are talking about squirting, we'd be remiss not to talk about other bodily fluids, including vaginal lubrication. Getting wet is often touted as a sign of arousal, but it is important to remember that a wetter reaction is not necessarily a sign of a greater desire for sex, and a dry response does not indicate a lack of interest. Sometimes you are turned on and dry as a desert, and sometimes you are walking down the street wondering why a geyser has sprouted between your legs. This is because our body's physiological reactions to sexual desire and arousal do not always align with our lived experience or our mental arousal, and that's okay. So please do not fret if you don't squirt or get soaking wet during sex—you can always use lube (it makes sex so much better!), and you are not missing out on anything as long as you're enjoying the process and relishing the present moment.

† Folks of all genders can have vulvas and vaginas. We use "vaginal prostate" rather than "female prostate" to reflect the terminology used in anatomical research while modifying the term out of respect for our audiences and our own sexual politics. Note that the G-spot is not _inside_ of the vagina but can be felt through its upper wall.