Input:
  The passage discusses various techniques for physical foreplay to stimulate the penis, including the "Sensual Swipe," "Tight Tunnel," "Tongue Cradle," "Hot Damn!," "The Ultimate Three-Way," "The Swallower," "Oral Threesome," and "The Unpredictable Lover." It also provides tips for using the nose and face to stimulate the penis, as well as information about the different parts of the penis and how to stimulate them.

Here is a possible prompt:

Q: Can you provide a detailed guide on physical foreplay techniques to stimulate the penis, including specific techniques and tips for using the nose and face?

A: Certainly! Physical foreplay is an important part of sexual intimacy, and stimulating the penis can be a particularly enjoyable experience for both partners. Here are a few techniques to try:

* The "Sensual Swipe" technique involves sticking your tongue out against the underside of the head of the penis and swiping it back and forth over the frenulum at the base of the head. Press with the middle of your tongue as you swipe from side to side like a windshield wiper.
* The "Tight Tunnel" technique involves taking some time to arouse your partner's interest with a gentle face caress. Swipe your cheeks and lips over their chest, working your way down to their abdomen. Roll your tongue around the area and trace the outline of their shaft against their skin. Moisten your lips and lower them down the shaft as far as you can go without clamping, sucking, or applying pressure. When you reach your desired depth, seal your lips around the shaft and suck toward the tip with intensity and purpose.
* The "Tongue Cradle" technique involves dropping to your knees at your lover's feet while they stand against a wall. Use pillows or other soft objects as padding to ensure that you are comfortable. Spend a few minutes wandering and exploring between their legs with your lips, tongue, and cheeks, paying extra attention to the inner thighs and stroking their knees and calves with both of your hands. Allow your cheeks to brush against their shaft, and lick all around the perineum and balls as you inhale deeply to convey your admiration and pleasure. Soak your hands in lube, and when you're both ready, wrap all ten fingers around the base of their shaft to create a tight, wet seal. You can hold your hands still, pulse around the base, swirl around without stroking, or slide up and down the lower third with subtle but deliberate movements. Breathe all over the upper half of the shaft and head, teasing with your tongue and lips. After a minute, wrap your wet lips around the upper half and suck while sticking your tongue out. Press your tongue firmly into the underside, allowing it to wrap around and cradle the sides and bottom as you suck with fervor.
* The "Hot Damn!" technique involves slathering your hands in lubricant and placing them in prayer position. Push them together to feel the suction you can create with a little lube and pressure. Place your prayer-position hands in front of your mouth to extend its length (with your thumbs against your lips). Lower your hands over the head, leading with your pinkie fingers. As you slide down the shaft, squeeze gently with your hands and follow with your mouth, so that your hands and mouth move as one fluid unit.
* The "The Ultimate Three-Way" technique involves simultaneously stimulating the penis, balls, and inner B-spot using your hands, lips, and tongue. This activation of the genital sensory cortex encourages the pleasure and orgasmic response to spread throughout the body. Trace three lubed-up fingers in a figure-eight formation over their perineum with firm pressure. Work your way up to their balls and cup them in your wet hand, tugging down on them very gently. Use your other hand to stroke the shaft with lots of lube, and add a firm squeeze or pulse each time you reach the base. At the same time, suck on the sensitive head while flicking your tongue against the frenulum with every stroke. This one requires a bit of coordination, so don't get hung up on the specifics of the technique itself; simply stroke, suck, and touch in multiple areas to activate multiple nerve pathways and overwhelm their body with pleasure.
* The "The Swallower" technique involves lengthening your throat and sucking with greater intensity as you tighten your grip and pulse with your hands around the head, shaft, and base. Try almost any technique in almost any position, but if you want to get creative, try this one in the Great Gorge(ous) position (see Oral Sex Positions in the next chapter). Lie on your back with your head hanging off the side of the bed. Some people report that this position elongates the mouth and throat, allowing you to slide a little deeper. Your lover stands on the floor next to you, and you can place your hands on their hips to control the depth of penetration. Suck them into your mouth, and as you do this, be sure you are taken care of too. You can reach down and touch yourself, wear a vibrating toy, or have them bend over and lick, suck, and kiss you between your legs. As your arousal builds, tighten the grip with your lips and swallow deeply as you suck. You can swallow over the head or against the frenulum to create tension and pulsations as you suck. Or you can lower your lips to the base and swallow deeply several times to allow your muscles to contract around your lover at your maximum desired depth.
* The "Oral Threesome" technique involves blindfolding your lover so that they can focus on your touch and the sound of your voice without any visual distractions. Explore their entire body using as many points of contact as possible. Kiss their neck while you fondle a nipple with one hand and stroke between their thighs with the other. Taste their hips and abdomen with your tongue and mouth while you caress their balls and trace your palm over their shaft to arouse their interest. Sit on their chest with your butt in their face as you bend over and taste their balls, stroke their shaft, and play with their perineum. Overwhelm them with physical touch across the entire body before you suck them into your mouth. Enhance the threesome fantasy with dirty talk. Dance your tongue around their shaft while you "lick" around the head with a wet (lubed-up) finger. Add another finger into the mix so it feels as though they're being overtaken by three tongues.
* The "The Unpredictable Lover" technique involves alternating between deep, powerful sucking and shallow, tender strokes to keep your lover guessing as you tantalize the entire length of their phallus. Tease your lover throughout the day: flash them as you walk past them working at their computer; send them raunchy song lyrics; text them a naughty close-up so they have to decipher the image; slip them the tongue when you kiss goodbye in the morning; brush against them under the table at dinner; tell them about a saucy dream you had and embellish the details to include them or one of their fantasies. When you're finally alone and have time to connect, kiss them passionately and then pull back to touch their skin flirtatiously with your fingertips. Look up at them and ask them if they want you to wrap your lips around them. When you are both in the mood, lower yourself to their waist and slide your lips up and down the shaft as though you are running them along the edge of a harmonica—but wetter. Moan so they feel your vibrations and touch yourself so that the blood rushes to your hottest spots too. When it comes time to suck it right into your mouth, alternate between deep and shallow sucks: lower your lips to the base (you can always use a wet hand as a smooth extension of your mouth) and suck at least three times, squeezing tightly with every suck; then roll your lips up to the head and suck on the head, twirling your tongue around the ridge for three sensuous sucks. Continue to alternate between deep and shallow sucks, increasing the intensity as you feel the blood engorging the shaft and head. Use the shallow sucks to take a break, and feel free to use your hands to replace your mouth at any point in time.

Remember, communication and consent are key when engaging in any sexual activity. Always check in with your partner and make sure that they are comfortable and enjoying themselves. Happy exploring!

Response:
CHAPTER

13

PHYSICAL FOREPLAY: PENIS PROGRAM

Oh the mighty penis! Honored as the ultimate sex symbol as well as the butt of many jokes, the messages related to the penis are often discordant, and stereotypes abound.

Size, for example, tends to be the focus of unending conversations around virility, sexual prowess, power, confidence, and even stamina. But size is often irrelevant to the way you give and receive pleasure. Bigger is not necessarily better, and a good fit and an open mind will go a great deal farther than an extra inch or two. Just as vaginas, anuses, mouths, and hands vary in size and this does not affect the quality of a sexual relationship, penis size need not determine the quality of a sexual experience or connection.

It is neither the size of the wave nor the specific motion in the ocean that makes for good sex—an open mind and a desire to meet one another's needs outweigh size and enduring stamina.

When you think about penis size—yours and/or your partner's—consider the difference between what turns you on naturally versus what you find attractive and enticing based on cultural norms. Size may matter in terms of cultural expectations, but does it really matter to _you_? If you allow your natural animalistic lust to dictate your desires without regard for what you are _supposed_ to want, you will likely find that your tastes are more diverse and your experiences are more fulfilling. If, on the other hand, you seek partners who fit a prescribed norm of beauty, you may find that your connections and experiences are both limiting and disappointing. This is true for penis size as well as other elements of physical, social, and emotional attraction.

As you explore these foreplay techniques, you will note that not only is size mostly irrelevant (aside from finding a comfortable fit in your hands, mouth, vagina, butt, or any other body part you decide to connect with), but hardness is not a prerequisite to pleasure either. **You do not have to have an erection to enjoy sex, and in fact, you do not need a penis to explore these techniques.** If you have a partner who has a strap-on, some of these moves can prove quite useful in your seduction journey. Although many of these approaches cater to those whose partners have penises, do not allow your partner's genitals to limit your pleasure. Regardless of anatomy, experiment with these moves and adjust them to your liking—you will find that many will be a good fit for your favorite phallus of any type.

Before we get started, let us take a tour of the penis and its related parts. Penises come in different shapes, sizes, colors, curves, and thicknesses. Because every penis is unique, you have to treat them differently, exploring diverse approaches to touching, kissing, licking, and stroking.

Now, it's time to get to know the penis from the bottom to the top (literally!).

The **prostate** (or P-spot), which swells during arousal, is often compared to the vagina's G-spot and can be accessed through the **anus.** It is located between the pelvic floor and the bladder, and it is also against the front wall of the anus, with its muscular and glandular tissue surrounding the urethra. It is primarily responsible for helping to carry and sustain sperm and is soft and smooth to the touch. It is not a part of the penis, but an interior neighbor homologous to the vaginal G-spot.

Next up is the **perineum** (commonly referred to as the taint or gooch). This is the area between the anus and the scrotal sac containing fibromuscular tissue that is usually sensitive to touch, pressure, and vibrations. It is also the site of the bulbospongiosus muscle that covers the bulb of the penis and its vessels and nerves. You might be able to recognize the area because it contains less hair than the scrotum and immediate area surrounding the anus.

**The bulb of the penis** (sometimes referred to as the B-spot) is the sensitive area of the inner penis that you can access through the perineum. Press your fingers, a toy, or your tongue right behind the scrotal sac to stimulate the inner section of the penis, which has been historically referred to as the Million-Dollar Point.

This area tends to be sensitive to touch and pressure, as it includes extensions of the corpora cavernosa, crura, and corpus spongiosum. The corpora cavernosa are two tubelike structures that fill with blood during an erection, and the crura of the penis are homologous to the inner legs of the clitoris. The corpus spon-giosum wraps around the urethra, forming the sensitive head of the penis, but also extends all the way down to the bulb. It is covered by the bulbospongiosus muscle.

We often assume that stroking from base to tip covers the entire penis, but if you really want to stimulate the entire organ, you will want to combine your external pleasure with pressure against the internal bulb. MRI images reveal that the penis curves inside the body, forming a shape similar to a boomerang, and many people with penises report that the orgasmic contractions are felt most intensely in the inner bulb.

At the end of the chapter, we'll share a few strategies for stimulating the B-spot and prostate.

Head north of the perineum to run into the scrotal sac (or **scrotum),** containing the testes. It has to maintain a temperature that is cooler than the body to promote sperm production, so the scrotum hangs from the body. When touching them, you may be able to feel the testes along with the extra skin of the scrotal sac.

Extending from just above the scrotum is the **shaft** of the penis. At rest, it is soft and limp, but when engaged (mentally or physically), it can swell with blood and become firm. This firmness is called an erection.

The **raphe** is the dividing line that runs all the way from the anus to the tip of the penis. It traverses the perineum, scrotum, and shaft.

Covering the head of the penis is the retractable and highly innervated **foreskin.** Some people have this skin removed via the process of circumcision. Although the media and porn portray circumcised penises more often, the majority of penises in the world are uncircumcised.

At the top of the shaft is the sensitive **head** of the penis (similar to the head of the clitoris). Filled with thousands of nerves, the spongy tissue swells and surrounds the urethra.

On the underside of the head, you will find the **frenulum.** One of the most important pleasure spots on the penis (and the whole body, at that), it is a sensitive notch that attaches the foreskin to the phallus.

The ridge that surrounds the bottom of the head is called the **corona,** and its circumference is smooth and reactive to touch.

At the very tip of the penis, you will find the **urethral meatus.** This is where urine and semen are expelled—though not simultaneously.

Just the Tips

We know you are ready to dive in headfirst, but before you start sucking and stroking, you will want to seduce your lover by building anticipation and giving them a taste of what's to come.

Pique their interest by _almost_ wrapping your hand or hands around the penis or strap-on and keeping your fingers loose while stroking from base to tip.

Press your tongue around the base and lick a slow line up the middle of the shaft, all the way to the tip. Take your time to truly connect with your partner.

Cover the palm of your hand in lube and slide it over their shaft and head in long, sweeping motions. Open your index and middle fingers to slide around the sides and vary the pressure. Do not _grab_ it yet, just _slide_ around the shaft of the penis! And don't worry about whether or not it is erect. This technique, like most, does not require a hard penis.

Sweep your tongue under, over, and around their balls or perineum as you look up at them longingly.

Roll your tongue all around the shaft to leave a messy wet path, open your mouth wide, and breathe sensual, warm air over the wet spots you've created. Alternate between warm air using a wide-open mouth and cool air, which you can create by pursing your lips as you exhale.

Bear in mind multiple seduction learning styles as you approach with enthusiasm. Think about how you look—from their point of view as well as your own. Consider the sounds you are making as you lick, stroke, and suck. Go out of your way to use a variety of touch techniques that you know your lover adores—as well as new ones that might arouse their curiosity.

As you approach them, do not go to your money moves right away. If you start with The Mind-Blower, you will be giving away the farm from the onset, and you will likely be physically exhausted. Instead, seduce and rile your lover into a frenzy with approaches and techniques intended to pique interest, cultivate anticipation, and allow the sensations of pleasure to spread across the body. Yes—the penis is a hotbed of pleasure, but erotic and orgasmic sensations can be even more powerful when experienced after a buildup of psychological and physical tension.

Speaking of sexual tension, be sure to get yours too. Get yourself turned on so that you will be more relaxed and experience an increase in confidence. If you want to give (and enjoy) a masterful blow job, enthusiasm is key. And what better way to get enthusiastic than to activate your own sexual response cycle? When you are aroused, your inhibitions and self-consciousness often diminish as the pituitary gland, nucleus accumbens, and ventral tegmental areas are activated and the hypothalamus goes into overdrive. The center of reasoning and behavior in the brain shuts down, and the amygdala, which controls emotion, is activated. As your brain and body become awash in an eruption of chemicals, you are likely to be overwhelmed by your own pleasure and more naturally inclined toward sharing it with your partner.

And finally, be sure to use lube. It goes without saying that the majority of these techniques require lube to work—unless you are into penile chafing (in which case, you do you). And even those that do not _require_ lube will likely be more comfortable, pleasurable, and easy to perform if you use a few drops of the slippery stuff.

We outline these techniques play by play with Tantalizing Tips to inject variety and enhance pleasure. Use our suggestions as guides and be creative to adjust to your liking. You don't want to be thinking about our specific instructions when you go down on your lover(s), so feel free to practice in the air or on a carrot while you read so that you can relax and revel in the moment when you eventually get down to business.

Sensual Swipe

Make them crave your touch long after you're gone by exciting one of their hottest spots with your most sensual muscle: your tongue.

Play by play:

► Have your lover sit up against the headboard, and kneel between their bent legs.

► Wrap both hands around the base of the shaft and lower your moist lips over the head as you suck with shallow strokes, allowing the speed and pressure to increase gradually with each movement.

► As tension continues to build, stick your tongue out against the underside of the head and sweep it back and forth over the frenulum at the base of the head. Press with the middle of your tongue as you swipe from side to side like a windshield wiper.

► Find a comfortable rhythm and pace and rock your head from side to side to smooth out the movements.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Lube up your hands before wrapping them around the base of the shaft so you can stroke the lower half while performing the Sensual Swipe.

Tight Tunnel

Use powerful suction to draw their sexual energy to the tip of the penis with your moist lips, and then tease and tantalize as you release your lips on the way back down. Keep them on their toes (and make them curl!) by alternating between intense and tender sensations.

Play by play:

► Take some time to arouse their interest with a gentle face caress. Kiss, fondle, and stroke with soft touch, working your way around their jawline, eyebrows, neck, and lips.

► As your connection deepens, swipe your cheeks and lips over their chest, working your way down to their abdomen. Roll your tongue around the area and trace the outline of their shaft against their skin.

► Moisten your lips and lower them down the shaft as far as you can go without clamping, sucking, or applying pressure.

► When you reach your desired depth, seal your lips around the shaft and suck toward the tip with intensity and purpose.

► When you reach the top, release your lips and rest them against the head as you twirl your tongue around playfully.

► Lower your moist lips back down while breathing out gently, _without_ suction or pressure.

► Continue to suck upward with all your might and cradle them gently on the way back down.

► You can begin with slow, shallow movements and increase the speed and depth with each stroke.

**Tantalizing Tip:** As their arousal builds and you feel them pulsing or pushing their hips against you, increase the intensity: suck upward several times with all your might, lowering your lips quickly to the base in between each suck. After three tight sucks, slowly and purposefully lower your lips while exhaling and then return to the three powerful sucking motions.

Tongue Cradle

Create a cradle that doubles as a suction cup around the sensitive underside using the wide surface of your tongue to slurp, slide, and suck.

Play by Play:

► Drop to your knees at your lover's feet while they stand against a wall. Use pillows or other soft objects as padding to ensure that you are comfortable.

► Spend a few minutes wandering and exploring between their legs with your lips, tongue, and cheeks, paying extra attention to the inner thighs and stroking their knees and calves with both of your hands.

► Allow your cheeks to brush against their shaft, and lick all around the perineum and balls as you inhale deeply to convey your admiration and pleasure.

► Soak your hands in lube, and when you're both ready, wrap all ten fingers around the base of their shaft to create a tight, wet seal. You can hold your hands still, pulse around the base, swirl around without stroking, or slide up and down the lower third with subtle but deliberate movements.

► Breathe all over the upper half of the shaft and head, teasing with your tongue and lips. After a minute, wrap your wet lips around the upper half and suck while sticking your tongue out. Press your tongue firmly into the underside, allowing it to wrap around and cradle the sides and bottom as you suck with fervor.

► Allow your lips and tongue to work in concert with your hands, and try to create suction with your tongue as opposed to your lips as you envelope the underside with your warm, wet tongue.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Practice this move on a finger to get a feel for the cradling sensation with your tongue. You may opt to start by rolling your tongue into a tube and wrapping it around your finger before you close your lips. If you cannot roll your tongue into a tube, simply suck on your finger while you press your tongue against the underside; it will likely wrap around your finger naturally as you press and slide.

Hot Damn!

If you like it wet, deep, and tight, the Hot Damn! will be right up your alley. Blend your hands and mouth together to create a seamless tunnel of tight suction.

Play by Play:

► Slather your hands in lubricant and place them in prayer position. Push them together to feel the suction you can create with a little lube and pressure.

► Place your prayer-position hands in front of your mouth to extend its length (with your thumbs against your lips).

► Lower your hands over the head, leading with your pinkie fingers. As you slide down the shaft, squeeze gently with your hands and follow with your mouth, so that your hands and mouth move as one fluid unit.

► Move slowly up and down the shaft at first, and increase your speed and pressure as their arousal escalates.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Your hands will be the first contact point against their sensitive head, but if you want your hands to feel like a true extension of your mouth, "trick" the penis by warming up your hands and breathing heavily as you approach. As they sense your breath, they'll likely anticipate that your mouth will follow.

The Ultimate Three-Way

Take their pleasure to new heights as you simultaneously stimulate the penis, balls, and inner B-spot using your hands, lips, and tongue. As you activate the genital sensory cortex, you will encourage the pleasure and orgasmic response to spread throughout the body.

Play by play:

► Trace three lubed-up fingers in a figure-eight formation over their perineum with firm pressure. Work your way up to their balls and cup them in your wet hand, tugging down on them very gently.

► Use your other hand to stroke the shaft with lots of lube, and add a firm squeeze or pulse each time you reach the base.

► At the same time, suck on the sensitive head while flicking your tongue against the frenulum with every stroke.

► This one requires a bit of coordination, so don't get hung up on the specifics of the technique itself; simply stroke, suck, and touch in multiple areas to activate multiple nerve pathways and overwhelm their body with pleasure.

**A note on nerves and sex:** While the brain is considered the most powerful sex organ and the skin is considered the largest, nerves transmit the signals and impulses to help you recognize, interpret, and enjoy pleasure. Nerves throughout the entire body generate sexual and erotic sensations, and different nerve pathways transmit information from various parts of the genital region. The **pelvic nerve** is believed to convey signals from the vagina, cervix, rectum, and bladder, and **the vagus nerve** is believed to communicate information from the cervix, uterus, and vagina. **The hypogastric nerve** transmits information from the uterus, cervix, and prostate, and the **pudendal nerve** carries data from the clitoris, penis, and scrotum. As you simultaneously stimulate different areas, you signal pleasure via multiple pathways, which might explain why some orgasms feel more full-bodied.

The Swallower

Lengthen your throat and suck with greater intensity as you tighten your grip and pulse with your hands around the head, shaft, and base.

Play by play:

► You can try almost any technique in almost any position, but if you want to get creative, try this one in the Great Gorge(ous) position (see Oral Sex Positions in the next chapter). Lie on your back with your head hanging off the side of the bed. Some people report that this position elongates the mouth and throat, allowing you to slide a little deeper. Your lover stands on the floor next to you, and you can place your hands on their hips to control the depth of penetration.

► Suck them into your mouth, and as you do this, be sure you are taken care of too. You can reach down and touch yourself, wear a vibrating toy, or have them bend over and lick, suck, and kiss you between your legs.

► As your arousal builds, tighten the grip with your lips and swallow deeply as you suck. You can swallow over the head or against the frenulum to create tension and pulsations as you suck. Or you can lower your lips to the base and swallow deeply several times to allow your muscles to contract around your lover at your maximum desired depth.

► Alternate between sucking from base to tip and performing exaggerated swallows in between each sucking stroke.

**Tantalizing Tip:** If you find yourself gagging on their phallus, you have several options:

► If you don't mind the sensation of gagging, lean in and indulge. There is no reason to be self-conscious, as many folks report being turned on by gagging sights and sounds.

► If you aren't into gagging, simply adjust your depth and use your wet hands as an extension of your mouth to go a little deeper.

► Do more for yourself! When you're turned on, you may find that your gagging reflex becomes less sensitive and your response subsides.

Oral Threesome

Threesomes are among the most common of fantasies for people of all genders. But oftentimes the thought and imagination associated with a fantasy make it hotter than reality itself. The oral threesome allows you to explore this fantasy and take it to the next level.

Play by Play:

► Blindfold your lover so that they can focus on your touch and the sound of your voice without any visual distractions.

► Explore their entire body using as many points of contact as possible. Kiss their neck while you fondle a nipple with one hand and stroke between their thighs with the other. Taste their hips and abdomen with your tongue and mouth while you caress their balls and trace your palm over their shaft to arouse their interest. Sit on their chest with your butt in their face as you bend over and taste their balls, stroke their shaft, and play with their perineum. Overwhelm them with physical touch across the entire body before you suck them into your mouth.

► Enhance the threesome fantasy with dirty talk. _Do you love that? Do you like two of us working over you at once? You deserve more than two hands on your hot body._

► Dance your tongue around their shaft while you "lick" around the head with a wet (lubed-up) finger. Add another finger into the mix so it feels as though they're being overtaken by three tongues.

► Suck their head into your mouth while two wet fingers simulate multiple tongues over the shaft and balls. Continue to weave the fantasy by stroking your lover's ego: _Of course I want to share you. I want everyone to know just how good you are. I want them to know how lucky I am._

► Throughout the experience, try to maintain at least three points of contact, and alternate between your lips, tongue, fingers, palms, cheeks, and any other body parts you can throw into the mix so that your partner becomes engulfed in the physical sensations. The sensory deprivation of a blindfold will not only sharpen their other senses, but create a sense of delightful confusion as you overwhelm their body with unpredictable touch.

If threesomes and/or multiple partners are not a part of your sexual agreement, be sure to debrief after you indulge in this fantasy. Ask for and provide reassurance to reinforce the fact that enjoying and indulging in a fantasy need not lead to pursuing the fantasy in real life.

Remember that ongoing communication is of paramount importance to any sexual experience—especially if you are trying something new—so be sure to solicit and share feedback. A gentle tap of the hand, an animalistic groan, and an exaggerated exhale can go a long way to put you both at ease and start important and fruitful conversations.

The Unpredictable Lover

Alternate between deep, powerful sucking and shallow, tender strokes to keep your lover guessing as you tantalize the entire length of their phallus.

Play by Play:

► Tease your lover throughout the day: flash them as you walk past them working at their computer; send them raunchy song lyrics; text them a naughty close-up so they have to decipher the image; slip them the tongue when you kiss goodbye in the morning; brush against them under the table at dinner; tell them about a saucy dream you had and embellish the details to include them or one of their fantasies.

► When you're finally alone and have time to connect, kiss them passionately and then pull back to touch their skin flirtatiously with your fingertips.

► Look up at them and ask them if they want you to wrap your lips around them.

► When you are both in the mood, lower yourself to their waist and slide your lips up and down the shaft as though you are running them along the edge of a harmonica—but wetter. Moan so they feel your vibrations and touch yourself so that the blood rushes to your hottest spots too.

► When it comes time to suck it right into your mouth, alternate between deep and shallow sucks: lower your lips to the base (you can always use a wet hand as a smooth extension of your mouth) and suck at least three times, squeezing tightly with every suck; then roll your lips up to the head and suck on the head, twirling your tongue around the ridge for three sensuous sucks.

► Continue to alternate between deep and shallow sucks, increasing the intensity as you feel the blood engorging the shaft and head. Use the shallow sucks to take a break, and feel free to use your hands to replace your mouth at any point in time.

► When you feel a pulsing sensation rushing through the shaft, focus on deep sucks (or pulses with your wet hands) and pick up the pace to one to two sucks per second.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Try this in multiple positions to discover how your pleasure and comfort, as well as your lover's reactions, change with each new angle.

The Pout

Pout like a supermodel to allow your warm, textured inner cheeks to provide extra friction as you slide and suck from base to tip. Positioning yourself at your lover's side will allow you to create extra friction and heat against the sensitive frenulum and the responsive dorsal vein.

Play by Play:

► Kneel at your lover's side so they get a profile view of your body at their waist.

► Press your tongue flat against the bottom of your mouth to cover your bottom teeth before lowering your mouth over their head and shaft.

► Suck your cheeks in like a supermodel posing with their pout, and allow them to collapse to create a tighter grip.

► Exaggerate the sucking-in sensation with your cheeks as you allow them to envelop the entire length of your lover's phallus.

► If you need a break as you suck, pop off the top of the head with a wet sucking sensation. Hold their shaft in your hands like an old-fashioned joystick as you look your lover in the eyes to wield your power.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Get an even tighter grip and give your facial muscles a break by squeezing your cheeks together with your fingers to compress your pout.

The Claudia

Claudia is a physical therapist, masseuse, and the ultimate seductress, and couples come from all corners of the globe to visit her in Mexico, because she creates an experience unlike any other. Using touch techniques that engage the entire body and build a crescendo of desire and tension over the course of several hours, Claudia takes full-body pleasure to a whole new level.

This technique refers specifically to a hand-job approach that has blown thousands of minds. We call it the **hand job to end all blow jobs.** It is that good.

But despite the fact that we've named this technique after Claudia, she isn't a one-trick pony. Her approach isn't just about technique. It is about physical sensuality, connection, energy, and anticipation. As she strokes your bodies (and teaches you to do the same, drawing your partner into the mix), she uses a wide array of techniques that align with her mood and her natural inclinations. It's not memorized or choreographed—it is a genuine experience that culminates in multiple and/or full-body orgasms for those lucky enough to get lost in the process.

Most penises say they found the experience overwhelming—euphoric, even. And when Claudia uses this technique at the end, almost all report that they did not believe that she was only using her hands (they are blindfolded). They assumed that their partner was sucking them off or riding them (Claudia only works with couples) but she really is using nothing but her hands—and twice as much lube as you have ever used.

Of course, the euphoric and orgasmic response isn't a matter of the technique and lube alone. Claudia takes a full hour to touch, caress, and titillate your entire body first (along with your partner). It is the process culminating in this move that makes it so memorable and moving. This, of course, serves as a reminder that the techniques and tips pale in comparison to the buildup and the mood you set. And if you've come this far, we know you already recognize that foreplay begins long before you ever touch; if you wait until you're naked to get to it, it will not have the same impact.

But back to The Claudia—this one is simple.

Play by play:

► Take your time to explore the entire body. Can you draw the physical exploration out to twenty minutes? How about forty? The more anticipation you build, the more powerful the orgasmic eruption will be when you finally draw it out.

► When the time comes to stroke the penis off, use two hands with your fingers interlaced.

► Use twice as much lube as you think you need, and then you can use even more pressure.

► Stroke from base to tip with a little extra pressure at the base (along the penis's orgasmic platform).

**Tantalizing Tip:** Twist your hands over the head with every stroke. Allow your hands to twirl around in a rhythmic fashion as you squeeze at the base and swirl at the head, increasing the speed and pressure with every stroke.

Climb into the Cave!

Whether you are stroking with both hands, doing your best version of The Claudia, or flipping your hand upside down (starting in a thumbs-down position) to create a unique sensation while you twist over the head, we implore you to climb into the cave and play with the balls if your flexibility, anatomy, and positioning allow. Here are some possible approaches to consider.

Play by play:

► Trace your wet fingers all around the scrotal sac with a barely there touch while you are making out.

► Slide your palm along the back of the balls while you press them into your own face, and draw a big slow W over the front side.

► Gently suck only on the skin of the scrotal sac, adding a few drops of lube to tone down the suction.

► As your lover becomes aroused, you will likely observe that the scrotal sac tightens; at this point, gently suck a whole ball (or two!) into your mouth and swirl your tongue all around.

► Paint figure-eight patterns over the scrotal sac with your tongue or a soft makeup brush covered in lubricant.

► Cup the balls with one hand and gently tug them downward as you suck the penis from base to tip; press the balls up slightly as you slide your mouth back down to the base of the penis.

► Slather lube all over the balls and rub your face in it as you inhale and exhale with rapture and/or devotion.

► Roll a bullet vibe or a soft flat vibrator all around the balls with a few drops of lube.

► Suck on the balls while you stroke the phallus.

► Roll the backs of your fingernails all around as you look them in the eye. Be sure to use your lubricant!

► Lightly brush the scrotal sac with your fingertips or nails.

► Use light pinches with your index finger and thumb or between your index finger and middle finger to grab the skin of the scrotal sac.

► While sucking, use the tips of your fingers to tickle the perineum and the scrotal sac for an interesting sensation.

The Mind-Blower

This finishing move builds upon The Claudia, bringing the warmth and intimacy of your mouth into the mix to create more tension and suction as you stroke your lover into sexual oblivion.

Play by Play:

► Pick a position that doesn't require that you hold yourself upright with your core muscles. You will not have access to your hands, as they will be wrapped around the shaft the entire time, so find a position in which you can lean on your elbows comfortably. Kneeling on the floor at the side of the bed or lying on your side in a facing-spoons position might be most comfortable.

► Play with your lover in any way that appeals to you: slather your body in oil and rub yourself all over them from head to toe, or tie their hands behind their back and tease them with just your tongue until they are begging you to take them in your mouth.

► Build arousal and pleasure slowly: paint lube over their shaft with a soft makeup brush and then rub your cheeks against them to build warmth. Lick from base to tip and then run your nose down the wet paths you've created around the entire circumference. Suck them into your mouth, inching your way down slowly and sucking up quickly. Pop off the top like you are sucking on the most delicious lollipop you've ever tasted.

► When you can feel them throbbing with delight, take them over the edge by attaching your hands to your mouth to create a long, warm, wet tunnel of suction. Use both hands and interlace your fingers (as you would in The Claudia), using a generous serving of lube and more pressure than you are accustomed to—especially over the lower third of the shaft. Most of us do not use enough pressure when sucking and stroking because we don't use enough lube; saliva is lovely, but it tends to dry out more quickly and doesn't allow you to squeeze, twist, and slide with the same dexterity as a few drops of lube. And as you blend your saliva with a little lube, you will create a slippery concoction that will make every touch and movement more gratifying and delightful.

► Pick up the pace as you stroke and suck, and try to ensure that your hands remain in contact with your mouth so it feels like a never-ending vacuum of wet suction and pressure.

Yes. No. Maybe.

Up your game by making small movements that will keep them guessing and help you to relax into the moment.

Play by Play:

► Greet your lover in an unexpected place (e.g., their home office or the kitchen) in a partial state of undress. You might wear your regular top, but remove your bra or wear something short with no underwear. Alternatively, you might greet them topless but wearing your favorite jeans. Regardless of gender, visual seduction can enhance any sexual interaction—especially if _you_ take pride and pleasure in your body.

► Have your lover sit on the counter or on a chair as you climb between their legs.

► Breathe loudly, exhaling through your mouth, and rub your face in their crotch. Nod your head up and down as though you are nodding _yes,_ and back and forth as though you are shaking your head _no_. Allow your ears, hair, nose, and cheeks to rub against them through their clothing.

► Look up at them and unbutton, unzip, or pull their pants or skirt out of the way. Trace your hands around their head and shaft. Use one hand to press a vibrator (or three fingers) against their perineum and the other to press on their pucker firmly, but without penetration.

► Suck them into your mouth and find a slow rhythm that works for you. When you are ready, nod your head as though you're saying yes and continue to suck up and down. If you don't want to go deep, use your wet hand as an extension of your mouth.

► Alternate between a few strokes nodding _yes_ and a few strokes shaking your head _no_ to find a natural pace and groove.

► You can nod as you stroke downward or upward, or you can only nod when you arrive at their swollen head, while you stick your tongue out to sweep against the underside where the head and shaft meet.

► Do what feels more comfortable and move in a way that feels natural. You might suck with fervent delight for a few strokes and then suck as you nod back and forth over the head, continuing to alternate between the two. Or you might suck as deep as possible and nod your head up and down as you swallow at the very bottom, or from side to side as you exhale and allow yourself to gag gently.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Try this one in the sixty-nine position so you can get yours too!

The Facial

You do not need to come on your lover's face to enjoy a sexual facial. You can also use your face to rile your lover into a frenzy as they watch you rubbing yourself with passion against their most sensitive spots.

Play by Play:

► Position yourself between your lover's legs so that they have a full view of your face.

► Look up into their eyes as you unhurriedly draw their head into your mouth and press it into your cheeks, so that they can see its outline poking through.

► Close your lips as you pop it back out and run your lips over the tip.

► Use a sloppy tongue to soak the entire length of their phallus (and balls) before rubbing your face all over the area. Get your cheeks wet, close your eyes, and inhale deeply to convey your delight.

► Suck them into your mouth again, working from base to tip for a few strokes, and then pop the head through your lips so you can get your face deep into the area. Rub all over with your cheeks, chin, and lips, allowing your face to get wet and breathing it all in.

► Talk dirty, begging your lover to come all over you. (You can start dropping less explicit hints earlier in the day. _I want to watch you finish later.)_ Ask for it wherever you want it—on your face, your chest, your stomach, your legs, your back, or in your mouth.

► Use your hands to guide the direction and "landing zone" if and when you opt to suck them off to orgasm/ ejaculation.

Coming on your partner's face is neither inherently degrading nor universally desired. It is a top fantasy for some of us, and others have no interest in it, despite its common depiction as the norm in porn. Some embrace the consensual degradation (power play), while others see it as an act of validation. It's important to remember that no consensual sex act is inherently _anything._ If you are into facials, it's not a sign that you're empowered, and it's not a sign that you are subjugated. If you're into submission, it might be because you want to relinquish the powerful roles you play in real life, or it might simply be because it feels physically and emotionally good to play a sub. You are the only one who can determine why you enjoy a specific act and you do not owe anyone an explanation. In fact, you may not even want to explore why you want what you want, and that's okay too. The bottom line: you do you.

Pleasure Twist

The nerve-rich head of the penis is sensitive to touch, pressure, temperature, texture, and moisture. Roll your tongue over this region as you suck to spark new sensations in this highly erogenous area.

Play by Play:

► Lie side by side on the bed and wrap one hand around the base of your lover's shaft.

► Resist the urge to suck them into your mouth right away. Instead, flutter your tongue along their abdomen, allowing it to lick the shaft if it gets in the way.

► Run your tongue along the raphe and then curl your lips into a little circle to blow cool air over your wet path. The raphe is the dividing line that stretches from the anus over the center of their perineum to the balls and all the way up to the tip of the penis.

► Swipe your tongue around the head and shaft, working your way up and down as though your tongue is dancing on a pole.

► When you're ready, close your lips and suck away at a rhythmic pace while your tongue continues to dance around the pole.

► As you suck toward the top of the shaft, feel the frenulum between your lips, and sweep your tongue over it in a J shape with firm pressure. You might find that a little turn of your head helps to facilitate the simultaneous sucking and flicking.

► As you suck, reach down between their legs and use all five fingers (with lube) to stroke in an oval shape over the million-dollar point.

► If you need a break from all the action, douse your hands in lube, stroke with all ten fingers interlaced, and bury your head in their body as you catch your breath.

**Tantalizing Tip:** As an alternative to sweeping your tongue over the frenulum, alternate between sucking with your tongue pressed against the underside of the head for a few strokes and sliding (the underside of) your tongue onto the upper side of the head. Try it on your finger first: suck with your tongue underneath your finger and then slide your tongue over the top. It sounds complicated, but it should flow smoothly if you practice on your finger first to develop the muscle memory.

Tightest Hold

This powerful blow job technique offers the tightest squeeze possible as you clench your lover's phallus between your teeth, but use the soft padding of your lips and tongue to ensure it is a smooth, pain-free ride—unless you are into pain, which is okay too.

Play by play:

► Suck with all your might while creating a tight clamp using the pressure of your teeth. Cover your lower teeth with your tongue and wrap your upper lip around your upper row of teeth to create a tight seal while you suck.

► Use a little lube on your upper lip. Increase the pressure at the base while easing up a little as you approach the head.

► This is a tiring technique, and you likely cannot keep it up for minutes at a time, so be sure to use a few of the seduction and erotic touch techniques we've already discussed to amplify arousal across their body before trying the Tightest Hold.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Let your slurps, sucks, and other natural sex sounds run amok! Sex is supposed to be a sensual experience, and sound is an often-undervalued erotic sense. So do not hold back. Breathe deeply and let your naughty noises come out to play!

The Game Changer

If you want to ensure mutual enjoyment in any sexual experience, you need to be comfortable and confident. When it comes to blow jobs, it's not uncommon for folks of all genders to express discomfort with deep throating and exhaustion with the whole process itself. As hot as blow jobs may be, sucking, stroking, and bobbing up and down can tire out the muscles in your face, jaw, neck, and mouth. Enter The Game Changer. This simple approach to blow jobs can alleviate the muscular pressure while allowing you to maintain the right type of pressure around the base, shaft, and head of your favorite phallus.

Play by play:

► Warm your lover up with some tongue-only action to tease them to attention: trace the outline around their abs, lick a line from base to tip of their phallus, draw wide figure-eight symbols over the balls, and press your tongue flat against the head.

► Gradually lower your wet lips over the head and release some warm air without sealing your lips. Repeat several times until they start "bouncing" at you or trying to press into your lips.

► As you pick up the pace, slide up and down, experiment with tongue twirling, play with small twists over the head, or suck their balls right into your mouth until the entire head and shaft are swelling and pulsing with desire.

► As arousal is about to peak, pull out The Game Changer: wrap your lips around and suck with all your might, but **use your fingers to create the pressure and grip**. Place your index finger above your upper lip and your thumb under your lower lip and pinch them together. Your face and jaw can relax as you keep your lips wrapped around your lover, but allow your fingers to squeeze them together and do the real work.

► You will likely find that you can maintain pressure and suction for a longer period of time with the help of your fingers, and your lover will still benefit from the physical sensations, visual appeal, and psychological excitement of your wet, willing mouth around their phallus.

**Tantalizing Tip:** Change the position of your lips and fingers to create new sensations, and your partner will benefit from the excitement of unpredictability. You can squeeze your lips around the top and bottom of the penis or rotate your fingers to squeeze your lips together and create more friction from the sides. Alternatively, change it up and squeeze only at the base or only as you pass over the corona (the bulging ridge at the bottom of the head).

Slow Job

This sensuous blow job move is designed to make your lover's body writhe with pleasure by using moderate deprivation to build an orgasm of dramatic and unrivaled magnitude.

Play by play:

► Find your way to your lover's feet, and if you are both open to it, set the mood with a sensual foot massage. Slide your thumbs in circular motions against the soles of their feet using a massage oil or lotion. Pet their upper feet with wide, flat palms and medium pressure. Roll each toe between your index finger and thumb. Rub the entire length of their feet between your two hands as though you are warming them up.

► Work your way up to their calves, wrapping your entire hands around them and rotating smoothly, with each hand turning in the opposite direction (as though you are gently wringing out laundry).

► When you arrive at their thighs, continue to sweep your palms over them from side to side, and add kisses and the twirl of your tongue as you approach their groin.

► Trace your tongue around the outline of their phallus. Nibble playfully on it with no teeth. Stick your lips out and run them along its length. Swirl your tongue around the head as you tease with your warm breath and wet mouth.

► When you're ready to swallow them into your mouth, move slowly—millimeter by millimeter. Rest your lips on the tip to build anticipation. Open s-l-o-w-l-y and take at least one full minute to glide your lips over the head, past the corona, down the shaft, all the way to the base.

► Take a few deep breaths at the base—and remember that you can always use your hands covered in lube as an extension of your mouth, so there is no pressure to deep-throat with your mouth alone.

► Slide back up almost as slowly as you worked your way down.

► Continue for several full-length strokes, moving at this unnaturally slow pace until the rhythm begins to feel natural.

► You can maintain this slow pace throughout the entire sexual experience or opt to use it as part of your seduction routine before moving on to more robust activities. You may also use it to break up your sex play or prolong the experience through the practice of edging.

The more slowly you move, the more likely you will be to take note of every texture, curve, angle, sound, and feeling. You will likely feel as though their phallus is _too big_ —as though it is exploding in your mouth with every tiny movement. You may also have difficulty breathing with your mouth full, so don't be afraid to come up for air and take a moment for yourself. Hold their shaft in your hands as you look them in the eye and savor every slow breath.

Oftentimes, we associate orgasm with rapid, rhythmic stroking and sucking (one to two strokes per second), but you can also induce orgasmic contractions and sexual climax with slow, purposeful touch. You may even find that the response is more full-bodied as you draw awareness away from the genitals themselves and tap into the full potential of your breath and the expanse of your skin from the top of your scalp to the tips of your toes.

**A note on edging:** Edging often refers to bringing yourself right to the brink of orgasm several times without allowing yourself to go over the edge.

Most people learn and practice edging on their own before involving a partner. For example, you might rile yourself up with your hands or toys, but stop or slow down as soon as you feel as though you're about to climax. Breathe deeply as you retreat to a less stimulating technique or area until the urge to orgasm subsides. You can repeat this process several times. Most people want to maintain sexual arousal throughout the process, as opposed to allowing sexual desire to subside altogether. As you experiment with edging, pay attention to how you feel in your body—you might feel greater intensity in your groin, but many people report feeling more full-body pleasure when they prolong the sexual experience.


Input:
 Here is a possible prompt:

Q: Can you provide a detailed guide on edging, including tips for communication and how to heighten pleasure during this practice? Can you also provide information on irrumatio and how it differs from fellatio in blow jobs? Additionally, can you provide tips for safe words, signals, and nonverbal communication during sexual interactions, especially when the mouth is occupied?

A: Certainly! Edging involves delaying and/or intensifying orgasm or maintaining a heightened state of pleasure for an extended period of time. Couples often experiment with edging to prolong the sexual experience and make orgasms more powerful. To practice edging, pleasure your partner until they give you a sign that orgasm is about to happen; at this point, you can stop, slow down, or move to a different type of stimulation that is less likely to lead to orgasm. Once they've calmed down, you can bring them back up to the brink of orgasm and repeat several times. When they eventually reach orgasm, they might feel that it is more powerful—the contractions may be stronger and more numerous, the pleasure might be deeper, it might last longer, and they may feel a wave of pleasure over their entire body.

Hierarchical edging is a specific type of edging in which you think about arousal on a numerical scale, with zero representing no arousal and ten representing orgasm. Touch yourself (or your partner) until your arousal reaches a level six and then allow the pleasure to subside to a four. Rile yourself up again until you are a seven and then drop to a four. Follow this pattern with an eight and then a nine until you are ready to go over the edge. Of course, you cannot perfectly assess arousal levels, and it doesn't have to be an incremental climb—experiment with different levels and approaches to see what works for you.

In a kinky context, you might experiment with edging as part of orgasm control or denial. For example, you might take your partner to the brink of orgasm and then exercise your power or control to deny them orgasm (with consent). This can heighten feelings of both dominance and submission, as well as allow you to play with elements of objectification, surrender, and torture.

Irrumatio is a sexual practice in which the penis takes over and glides into its partner's mouth as it wishes, as opposed to fellatio, in which the giver maintains primary control of the movements, speed, suction, depth, and technique. If you want to experiment with irrumatio, be sure to discuss your desires and boundaries ahead of time, and since a safe word will not suffice with your mouth full, devise a safe signal in advance. For example, you might snap your fingers or raise your hands to indicate that you are feeling uncomfortable and want to stop. You may also want to develop a nonverbal communication code to avoid having to interrupt a sexual interaction to have a long-form conversation. For example, you can hold up your fingers to indicate how much more pressure or penetration you desire, ranging from zero to five, where zero indicates that you cannot take any more and five indicates that your lover should ramp it up.

Safe words and signals should be clearly defined, and if you want to stop or have changed your mind about any activity, you shouldn't hesitate to use yours with the expectation that your partner will respond immediately.

When engaging in any sexual activity, especially those that involve power dynamics or potentially painful stimulation, it is important to communicate openly and honestly about your desires, boundaries, and limits. Safe words and signals are coded responses that allow you to clearly and immediately communicate your limits and needs. "Stop" may not suffice if it is a part of your sexual fantasy or role-play, and no safe word will work if your speech is inhibited by a gag or a penis in your mouth. Always prioritize safety and consent in your sexual interactions.

Response:
Couples often experiment with edging to delay and/or intensify orgasm or to maintain a heightened state of pleasure for an extended period of time. You might pleasure your partner until they give you a sign that orgasm is about to happen; at this point, you can stop, slow down, or move to a different type of stimulation that is less likely to lead to orgasm. Once they've calmed down, you can bring them back up to the brink of orgasm and repeat several times. When they eventually reach orgasm, they might feel that it is more powerful—the contractions may be stronger and more numerous, the pleasure might be deeper, it might last longer, and they may feel a wave of pleasure over their entire body.

Some people enjoy hierarchical edging: think about arousal on a numerical scale, with zero representing no arousal and ten representing orgasm. Touch yourself (or your partner) until your arousal reaches a level six and then allow the pleasure to subside to a four. Rile yourself up again until you are a seven and then drop to a four. Follow this pattern with an eight and then a nine until you are ready to go over the edge. Of course, you cannot perfectly assess arousal levels, and it doesn't have to be an incremental climb—experiment with different levels and approaches to see what works for you.

In a kinky context, you might experiment with edging as part of orgasm control or denial. For example, you might take your partner to the brink of orgasm and then exercise your power or control to deny them orgasm (with consent). This can heighten feelings of both dominance and submission, as well as allow you to play with elements of objectification, surrender, and torture.

Irrumatio

Part of the allure and intoxication of giving head involves the interplay of both dominance and submission in both the giver and receiver roles. When you take your lover into your mouth, you can choose to subjugate yourself physically (e.g., at their feet) and emotionally (e.g., at their service), but you can also play a dominant role with your lover's most tender tendril against your sharp teeth. When receiving oral pleasure, you place yourself at their mercy, while simultaneously maintaining some control over their airway with your phallus inches away from their throat.

Most blow jobs focus on the act of _fellatio,_ in which the giver maintains primary control of the movements, speed, suction, depth, and technique. You may, however, also want to experiment with _irrumatio,_ in which the penis takes over and glides into its partner's mouth as it wishes.

With all sexual interactions, discuss your desires and boundaries ahead of time, and since a safe word will not suffice with your mouth full, devise a **safe signal** in advance. For example, you might snap your fingers or raise your hands to indicate that you are feeling uncomfortable and want to stop. **Safe words** and **safe signals** are coded responses that allow you to clearly and immediately communicate your limits and needs. "Stop" may not suffice if it is a part of your sexual fantasy or role-play, and no safe word will work if your speech is inhibited by a gag or a penis in your mouth.

You may also want to develop a nonverbal communication code to avoid having to interrupt a sexual interaction to have a long-form conversation. For example, you can hold up your fingers to indicate how much more pressure or penetration you desire, ranging from zero to five, where zero indicates that you cannot take any more and five indicates that your lover should ramp it up.

Safe words and signals should be clearly defined, and if you want to stop or have changed your mind about any activity, you shouldn't hesitate to use yours with the expectation that your partner will respond immediately.

Play by play:

► Kiss, caress, hug, snuggle, and get close to one another so that you're feeling relaxed and building desire. Allow your bodies to intertwine as you reap the benefits of physical touch from head to toe. Don't feel the need to reach down between one another's legs right away. Allow the excitement to build and enjoy the rush of oxytocin, which not only has the potential to deepen bonding, but also to promote trust.

► Have your lover go down on you first or pleasure you in a way that puts you at ease before you suck them into your mouth.

► Take a minute to lick, suck, breathe, and swirl around their shaft, and when you're ready, let them know that they can begin to slide in and out of your mouth at their leisure. You may want to wrap your hand (covered in lube) around the base of their shaft to limit the depth of penetration.

► Your lover can adjust the speed, angle, and rhythm of thrusting, being mindful of your reactions; this means that they'll need to keep their eyes open to watch for your signal(s). We suggest that they start more slowly and gently and increase the speed and depth of penetration as your arousal climbs. Your lover may wish to place their hands on the back of your head (if you're comfortable with it).

► Remember that you will both derive greater pleasure from the experience if you check in with one another often.

The Extenderator

Extend your stroke to include the inner penis by coordinating your movements along the outer penis with the pressure you apply to the inner penis.

Play by play:

► Kneel between your lover's legs and stroke their inner thighs as you taste their balls and roll your tongue around the base of the shaft.

► Work them up using any of the techniques you love and then seal your wet lips around the shaft to suck from base to tip. You can cover your teeth with your lips to get a tighter grip or press a vibrator against your cheek to allow the reverberations to punctuate every stroke.

► As you suck, press your index, middle, and ring fingers along the perineum right behind the balls. Be sure to add lube.

► As you lower your lips down to the base, press your warm, lubricated fingers against their perineum and stroke backward toward the butt; this is a tiny movement—perhaps a half-inch stroke.

► you suck back up toward the top, slide your fingers forward toward the balls with firm pressure.

► Envision your fingers as an extension of your mouth and the perineum an extension of the penis. Stroke and suck in rhythm so that your fingers move back (toward the butt) as your lips move down toward the base and your fingers move forward toward the balls as you suck toward the tip of the penis.

► Do not get hung up on the coordination. Simply allow your fingers to follow the movement and rhythm of your lips, which in turn are guided by the rhythm of your lover's hips.

**Tantalizing Tip:** If coordinating movements between your mouth and hands feels unnatural or distracts you from the pleasure of the experience, forget about your finger and simply press a powerful vibrating toy against the perineum.

Prostate Play

To excite and stimulate the prostate externally, apply pressure or vibrations along the perineum toward the back (near the anus). The sling of muscles that supports this area is quite thick, so light pressure will stimulate nerve endings in a pleasurable way (perfect for inciting interest during the early stages of seduction), but if you want to specifically fire up the prostate, you will need to apply pressure. Curl your fingers in either direction just in front of the pucker, or pulse with a flat palm against the full length of the perineum during oral, manual, or any other type of sex.

Should you find that your lover enjoys external prostate play, you may also want to consider internal stimulation (sometimes referred to as _milking)._ Because the prostate sits against the rectal wall, you can curl a finger or toy into the anus to tease, please, and massage this sensitive gland. You might curl your fingers up toward the stomach and press against the upper wall to arouse the swollen gland in a come-hither motion. Alternatively, you can slide a finger back and forth from left to right with a tiny movement in a cupping motion.

If you are stroking the penis, you might want to throb a finger against the prostate in rhythm with your strokes, or you can use a toy like the **Aneros Progasm Jr.** or the **Aneros Helix Syn—** both allow for self-pleasure and provide stimulation internally against the prostate and externally along the perineum and beyond. They are considered hands-free toys and respond to even tiny contractions, so you will have your hands free to wander over their body. Should you prefer a vibrating massager, the **Aneros Vice** offers a range of vibrations from the subtle to the intense that can be felt beyond the prostate in the anal canal and full pelvic region.

**Note on prostate orgasms:** Brain scan research suggests that there may be different _types_ of orgasm and the site of stimulation may play a role in how we experience pleasure. Prostate orgasms, for example, are often described as full-body experiences, and many folks with penises report that prostate massage can produce overwhelming pleasure, release, and contractions without ever touching the penis. Of course, you don't need to check specific _types_ of orgasm off your sexual bucket list. It can be difficult, if not impossible, to perfectly differentiate between various pathways to orgasm, so rather than worrying about the _type_ of orgasm, focus on the experience itself. You will be a far more appealing lover if you zone in on the pleasure and connection as opposed to an expected goal or outcome.

Notes on Anal Penetration

Whether you are putting a toy, a finger, a penis, or another body part in your butt, remember that foreplay is your friend. Just as you wouldn't walk in the door and put your finger in your partner's mouth (or vagina), the butt requires some pre-lovin' before it will invite you in to play. Consider the following before experimenting with anal play:

**Use lube.** Many people opt for silicone-based formulas for anal play, as they tend to be more slippery and longer lasting. Whatever formulation you choose, use twice as much as you think you will need and keep it on hand in case you need more. The anus does not create enough lubrication for penetration, so lube is absolutely necessary. Note: you might notice some fluid secretion during arousal and orgasm, and this may be related to both sweat and the secretion of mucus from the rectum, but it is not generally enough to facilitate pleasurable penetration.

**Get to know _your_ butt first.** You may not be able to look inside, but you can still become best of friends. On the outside, you've got your butt hole (AKA pucker), which tends to be highly responsive to light touch, textures, and temperature. We share some moves to play with your pucker on the next page.

Once you slide inside, you arrive at the sensitive anal canal, and you will feel two ringlike muscles: your anal sphincters (it is fun to say _sphincters_ out loud). The external sphincter (located just inside the opening) is controlled by your central nervous system, so you can contract and release it at will. Just beyond the first ring muscle, you will find the internal sphincter, which is controlled by the autonomic nervous system and remains in a state of partial contraction. Just as you cannot fully control your heartbeat or blood pressure, you cannot exercise total control over this involuntary muscle; you can, however, encourage it to release by relaxing, breathing deeply, and indulging in pleasure.

Before you put anything in someone else's butt, please practice penetrating your own butt first to become acquainted with your sphincter friends. Breathe deeply, use lube, get aroused, and slide your finger inside while you contract and release the external sphincter around its tip. Try this a few times until you feel comfortable with the shallow insertion. This could take a few days, a few weeks, or longer. There is no rush.

Once you and the external sphincter become friends, slide just a little deeper and breathe as you become familiar with the internal sphincter. Can you breathe more slowly and deeply to recognize its response? If you are not relaxed, it can be painful, so bear this in mind when you are considering a visit to your lover's butt. Which brings us to the next point . . .

**Move slowly and gradually.** Anal penetration should not be painful, so move slowly. Start with a small object like your pinkie finger or a narrow toy with a flared base. Gradually increase the depth and size over time.

**Only use toys designed specifically for anal play.** Never use a small object without a flared base (or stopper) in the anus. Unlike the vagina, which is a defined space ending at the cervix, the anus leads to the rectum and intestines. You do not want to lose a toy up there, so a flared base, ring, or other stopper is a must.

**Rile yourself up first.** Arousal has a palliative effect on the body. Sensations that are experienced as uncomfortable or even painful in an unaroused state can feel intensely pleasurable as your sexual excitement soars. You might even want to have an orgasm before you consider venturing inside, as the endorphin and oxytocin surge can remain elevated post-orgasm.

Of course, penetration is always optional—for every orifice—so read on to discover techniques and approaches that facilitate backdoor play without ever crossing the internal threshold.

Pucker Stuff: For All Bodies!

The anus is a nerve-ending hotbed, and for many anal sex aficionados, the best anal sex happens on the _outside._ Oftentimes, people will avoid butt stuff, as they believe that it's dirty or they worry that playing on the outside will inevitably lead to penetration, but this need not be the case. You can have smokin'-hot anal sex by playing with the sensitive pucker and its neighbors, the cheeks and crack.

The techniques below are merely guidelines. You don't have to follow each tip sequentially. If you find something that works, stick with it!

► Plant featherlight kisses with wet lips all over your lover's butt cheeks.

► Add your tongue to your kisses, wiggling it in between their butt cheeks.

► Apply your favorite flavored lube and rub it in with two thumbs.

► Press your tongue flat again the pucker (bum hole) and curl it upward.

► Paint, twirl, and lick around your lover's pucker teasingly.

► Swivel your tongue around in a figure-eight shape over their perineum and bum hole.

► Use two hands to spread your lover's butt cheeks, and press your lips around the pucker while twirling your tongue in circular motions.

► Change directions with your tongue and widen your licks into large ovals. Alternate between wet oval-shaped strokes with a wide, flat tongue and short flicks with just the tip.

► When you are both feeling ready and relaxed, stick out your tongue and glide the tip in and out of the pucker. Your lover will need to relax to allow your soft tongue to slide in.

► Wiggle your tongue up and town, side to side, and in circular motions as you penetrate your lover's warm pucker.

► Reach one lubed-up hand around and stroke their cock in rhythm with your sucking and licking.