Input: Write a chapter for a book about anal sex that provides practical advice on anal sex toys. Discuss the different types of toys available, including anal beads, butt plugs, anal probes, vibrating toys, dildos, strap-on dildos and harnesses, and inflatable toys. Explain the benefits and drawbacks of each type of toy, and provide guidance on which types are best for different activities and preferences. Address common misconceptions about anal toys, such as the belief that certain toys can cause harm or discomfort. Include tips on how to use toys properly, and provide resources for further information on toys.

Response:
CHAPTER 8

Anal Sex Toys

There are plenty of fabulous sex toys you can use to introduce yourself or a partner to anal pleasure or enhance your anal play . Many products are designed and marketed especially for anal sex, and others used for vaginal stimulation and penetration can also be used anally (see illustrations 9, 10, and 11). When choosing a toy, consider these questions:

What do you want the toy to do: should it vibrate, rotate, inflate?

What kind of sensation are you looking for: do you want something in your ass for a "full" feeling or do you want in-and-out fucking?

What do you want it to feel like: the softness of jelly rubber, the firmness of acrylic, somewhere in between?

What do you want it to look like: a rabbit, a cock, a nightstick?

How much do you want to spend: $10, $50, $200?

Anal Beads and Bead Toys

Anal beads are latex or hard plastic beads attached by a string (made of nylon or sometimes cotton) that runs through them, usually with a ring on the end. The beads are slightly bigger than marbles and can be even larger. The most popular beads are usually 1/2" in diameter. Because they are a cheaply made item, the plastic beads usually contain rough seams. Be careful of edges that feel sharp to the touch of the finger; you can file the edges down with a regular nail file or cover the entire string of beads with a larger-size condom. Condoms are a good idea anyway for anal beads, since nylon and cotton strings can be difficult to clean properly, and some people may find the knots in the string between beads feels uncomfortable inside the ass.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Losing My Marbles

> > Q: In Anne Rice's erotic novel The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, there is a scene where Beauty was made to play a game: Twenty roses were scattered all around a room where the Queen sat, and Beauty had to crawl around and pick the roses up and return them one by one to the Queen, all the while being flogged to keep up her pace. Every time Beauty would bring a rose, the Queen would stick a large gold marble in Beauty's ass. The trick being that the further along she got, the harder it was to keep going without dropping the marbles. My husband and I thought this was really hot, and we'd love to play it out, but we are concerned with the idea of losing a marble inside my ass. Could that happen, and if so, what could we do to prevent it? We have worked with anal beads before, but there are only so many on a string, and those knots can sting! What can you suggest?

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> > A: While I love erotic fiction as much as the next kinky reader, when it comes to representations of bondage, sadistic sensation play, and other BDSM activities, you need to remember that half of the stuff that fictional characters do in books isn't even physically possible, let alone safe or meant to be instructional. Many, but not all, writers of leather smut have never actually done any of the things they write about. Or, even if they are players in real life, often they still indulge in fantastic fantasies they know are great to jerk off to but they don't mean for anyone to try to replicate them. The scene you describe from The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty is an example of a sexy scenario that's not practical, and could be physically harmful.

> >
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> > In general, anything you put in the ass should have a flared base (like on a dildo or butt plug) or another way to stop it from going all the way inside (like the ring on the end of a string of anal beads). You should never put any round objects—marbles, Super Balls, Ping-Pong balls, golf balls, ben wa balls, or any other kind of balls—in your rectum. Besides irritating your rectal tissue, they can also become irretrievable without a speedy trip to the emergency room. Only beads that are on a string or anal bead toys are safe for anal play. You've already played with anal beads, and you're right, most people find the knots of the nylon or cotton rope pretty uncomfortable. I have several suggestions for scenes that may appeal to you. If you want to be surprised, now is the time to stop reading and hand the book over to your husband. Several sex toy manufacturers sell toys that are a continuous series of beads, but the toy is all one piece (no string, no knots); some have several beads of the same size, while others have graduated beads that get larger and larger. Your husband can insert the first bead, send you off to retrieve rose #1, then slide the second bead inside, and so on. It creates a similar effect to the marbles with a toy that's completely safe. Or, if the goal is to make it increasingly difficult to keep the object inside your ass as you retrieve the roses, he can begin with a silicone butt plug, and with each new round, replace it with a plug made of a heavier material, moving from clear acrylic to glass to marble to stainless steel. I've used all of these high-end toys, and can tell you that when you stand up with a steel butt plug in your ass, it feels like a barbell that's fighting gravity! A similar effect can be achieved with only one butt plug and a series of small weights usually used for cock and ball play or genitorture. Find a way to attach the weights to the base of the plug (I suggest a small piece of string around the rounded base); you can keep increasing the amount of weight each time a rose is retrieved. Use the story in the book as inspiration, but then be creative and create a scene that's clever, cruel, or whatever works for you. Most important, make it safe.

Because they can be poorly made and difficult to clean, anal beads are not always the safest toy. A better bet for bead lovers is a toy based on the bead concept, made without string, as one continuous piece. These are much easier to clean (specific cleaning tips are in the Sex Toy Materials section at the end of this chapter) and are generally a lot more comfortable. Bead toys can be made of jelly, rubber, or silicone and have anywhere from five to ten beads. In some toys, the beads are all the same size—from marble-size to the size of golf balls or even bigger—and in others, they graduate in size. For first timers, I recommend you pick small beads, and gradually work your way up to larger sizes if you discover you like them. Always choose a bead toy with a ring or base on the end of it.

For some people, the moment when the sphincter muscles relax and allow for that first pleasurable penetration is incredibly hot. Nina Hartley calls it "the pop," although, have no fear, there's no actual popping sound. For these folks, anal beads are perfect, since they can experience that initial penetration sensation over and over as the anus opens to accommodate the bead, then closes around it, then opens for the next bead, and so on. Insert one well-lubed bead at a time, giving the ass a chance to adjust to and relish the sensation of expanding then contracting around the ball. As the receptive partner, if you've been practicing your Kegel exercises, you will be more aware of these contractions and able to control them voluntarily. Many people like to insert the beads while having their genitals stimulated. Once they are all in (or as many are in as you want), you can (slowly!) pull the entire string of beads out, creating an entirely different, but equally intense, sensation. Some folks like this grand exit to happen when they feel close to orgasm, in order to push them over the edge; others like to wait until they are coming to intensify the climax. You can also keep them in until after you've come. Remember to withdraw the beads slowly and gently—pulling the entire string of beads out in one motion too quickly could be uncomfortable. As with any other toy, experiment and find out what works best for you.

Butt Plugs

"What's the big deal about a butt plug?" I get that question a lot, followed inevitably by: "It just plugs the butt? You mean it doesn't light up or spin while it's in there? It can't burn CDs or store data? It's not a two-way pager or a Play Station external device?" A butt plug does exactly what it sounds like it does. It's designed to slide into your ass and stay put. In our culture, people have grown so accustomed to everything having bells and whistles that a basic task-oriented sex toy baffles them. Sure there are dildos that glow in the dark, vibrators that masquerade as lipsticks, and battery-operated toys with twenty different settings. But sometimes less is more, and such is the case with the deceptively simple joy of a butt plug.

Designed with the butt in mind, butt plugs are usually narrowest at the top, thickest in the middle, and narrow just above the base, which is flared. The traditional shape of a butt plug looks like a teardrop with a thicker bottom, or a skinny pear; they can also resemble diamond or phallic shapes. Above the wide flared base, the plug's neck has the smallest circumference, designed to allow the sphincter muscles to close around it. Remember that we are all built slightly differently, so the ideal plug shape for one person may not work for another. For example, when I designed the Tristan plug with Vixen Creations, we created a shape that would go in and stay in, especially if you wanted to keep it in for a while. It was designed for the widest part of the plug to slip just past the sphincter muscles so the plug would rest snuggly inside. A friend of mine tried it, and told me that rather than doing that, in her ass, it seemed to rest right at the sphincter muscle, which was very uncomfortable. Her internal geography just was not compatible with the toy's shape.

Illustration 9: Anal Toys

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Vegetables

> > Q: I'm twenty-nine years old, and I have been putting things up my ass for about ten years now. I've worked my way up to take the equivalent of three cucumbers. The last time I put things up my ass, the most bizarre thing happened, and it happened once before about a year ago. I like watery vegetables because I feel like I need less lube and my ass gets a "wet silk" feeling from them. After I inserted a peeled cucumber, I had this allergic reaction all over my body. The same thing happened last year with a carrot. Nothing grave, just red, itchy skin and swollen eyes, et cetera, which went away in about an hour. I know what it is since I've been allergic to lots of stuff since I was a child and still have serious hay fever. Is it the absorption of the vegetable juices by my rectum that causes the allergy or something else?

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> > A: There is a reason that household objects are household objects; they each have a purpose, and it's not sexual. I am thrilled that you've discovered anal penetration as part of your masturbation ritual, but I really don't want to encourage you to grab the hairbrush, the shampoo bottle, the cucumber, or anything else lying around. Has it been done? Of course, but I don't condone it. Of all food allergies, allergies to vegetables are not as common as others, however there is some research that shows that certain foods—including melon, banana, zucchini, and cucumber—as well as the popular herb chamomile, can aggravate ragweed allergies. Symptoms include itching and tingling of the mouth, lips, throat, and ears, and in more serious cases, the swelling of tissue or anaphylactic shock. You said that you have allergies and hay fever, so my guess is that you're allergic to ragweed, and some of the vegetables you're sticking up your ass are exacerbating this allergy. I really recommend that you buy a dildo. You need something with a flared base for anal penetration; it's an absolute necessity, so the object doesn't get sucked into your ass or lost somewhere in your rectum. Sex toys were manufactured with sex in mind, they are designed for penetration, and therefore much more ideal for it than a makeshift dong. There are relatively inexpensive dildos on the market, especially the rubber or jelly variety (silicone dicks are much more expensive). Buy yourself a fifteen- or twenty-dollar dildo, and I promise it will be well worth the investment.

Butt plugs may be smooth or textured with ridges, ripples, rings, or bumps. The textures provide extra stimulation to the nerve endings in the area, especially as the toy goes in or comes out. Some butt plugs vibrate, others don't; beginners may find a vibrating butt plug a good choice since the vibration not only feels good but also helps relax the sphincter muscles. Plugs may be made of flexible materials like rubber and silicone or solid ones like clear acrylic, glass, or metal. They come in a whole bunch of sizes, and remember that it is always best to start small and work your way up. From the shape of a slim tapered finger to the size of a wide traffic cone, the diverse butt plugs in the world represent our collective imagination, fantasies, goals, and desires.

If you like the feeling of something just being in your ass, and appreciate the fullness and pressure without necessarily any moving in and out, then you would probably love a butt plug. Butt plugs are meant to go in and stay in. No need for lots of in-and-out play, just the sensation of the sphincters closed around the base of a butt plug, and you're in heaven. Once you slowly slide a well-lubed plug inside the ass, you can then move on to something else—clitoral stimulation, a blow job, vaginal penetration, whatever you'd like—and the butt plug will continue to stimulate without a lot of work on your part. If your partner loves having her nipples sucked while her ass is fucked, or if you want to concentrate on sucking his penis and he wants something up his butt, you could feel like you're playing Twister. A butt plug is a great solution!

Butt plugs are also a great way to warm up the ass for bigger things to come. Putting in a plug and leaving it in for a while lets the ass get used to having something inside it. Using a series of different sizes of plugs can help you work up to having something larger in your ass, like a dildo or penis. Butt plugs work while you play: the ass gets further aroused, relaxes, and opens up, all thanks to the plug. When you slip it out, the ass says, "Bring it on!" (i.e., it's ready for something bigger).

I have a clear acrylic butt plug (designed by Ray Cirino at Innerspace) that acts as a magnifying glass once it gets inside. It's a definite crowdpleaser at workshops. Have you ever looked all the way inside someone's ass? I have and whoever I peer into, his or her ass is always clean, pink, happy, and healthy—truly a wonder to behold. Sex activist Annie Sprinkle once closed her one-woman show by slipping a speculum inside her pussy and showing audiences her cervix. It was a bold, educational, revolutionary display of female sexual power, and I pay homage to her each time I reveal someone's ass with my see-through plug. Armed with a flashlight (so geeky, I know), I shine some brightness on a part of the body we often don't see so intimately. It gives new meaning to being able to see what you are doing.

Some people like to wear a butt plug for a more extended period of time or even outside the comfort of their bedroom or home. For more information on wearing a butt plug long term, see chapter 14.

If you have a butt plug in, you may find that when you get really aroused or during orgasm, the plug inadvertently slips (or even shoots!) right out of your ass. While this may be surprising or embarrassing, don't be alarmed, it's pretty common. Remember that during arousal, your genital muscles contract, and those contractions may actually push a plug out of your ass. This doesn't necessarily mean that the plug is too small and you need to run out and upgrade—it's just a signal that you were very turned on!

Anal Probes and Vibrating Toys

For people who like stimulation of those fabulous nerve endings in the anal area, vibrators deliver consistent and powerful sensations; vibrating toys also help relax muscles, making them a great choice for anal play. Beginners may want to try an anal probe, which is a long, slim toy made of flexible rubber that vibrates; some also bend so you can customize the probe to hit just the right spot. If it bends or has a curved shape, you want to aim the curve toward the front of the body to stimulate the G-spot or the prostate. If you're a fan of dual action vibrators (like the popular Rabbit Pearl), there is one that has a small attachment the width of a small finger that is great for anal novices. There are also various attachments and sleeves that fit on standard-size vibrators or vibrating eggs to transform them into anal penetration toys. There are even remote-controlled vibrating butt plugs for people willing to give the power over to someone else.

If you're going to put a vibrator in your ass, it must have a flared base or be attached to a battery pack; this is especially important for vibrators since many of them are designed for vaginal penetration and don't have a base. If you already own a silicone toy like a plug or dildo and want to make it a vibrating toy, you can use any kind of vibrator to do so. Simply press a vibrator against the base of the toy once it's inside someone's ass, and the silicone conducts that vibration from end to end.

Illustration 10: More Anal Toys

Dildos

Dildos come in so many different shapes and sizes that there is one for practically every individual taste, need, and desire. Your first consideration should be an aesthetic one: are you into shades of skin color or are you more of a sparkles and swirls kind of girl? There are dildos that look like penises (with balls and realistic-looking heads), dildos that look like torpedoes, and even dildos that look like dolphins. Like butt plugs, they come with different textures as well as different degrees of firmness. Dildos can be made of nearly every sex toy material from flexible rubber and silicone to solid acrylic and glass. They can range in size from that of a fat magic marker to a 13" long phallus—and bigger. Dildos that curve up from the base (instead of being straight) are well suited to anal intercourse because they nicely mirror the curve of the rectum and you can stimulate the G-spot or prostate with them. Dildos are the best tools for in-and-out penetration. You can use a dildo with or without a partner. With a partner, a dildo can be just the thing you need to satisfy the craving to fuck and be fucked. It can also be used as a warm up tool for your ass, before a larger dildo or penis. Some people like to penetrate their partner with a dildo held in their hand; this tends to give the active partner more control of the dildo and its movement. Others like to strap a dildo to their bodies for an altogether different adventure.

Strap-on Dildos and Harnesses

If you want to have a hands-free fuck or your partner craves being fucked in the ass with a cock, strap a dildo between your legs and satisfy those desires. With a strap-on, a woman can put her whole body behind the penetration, and feel what it's like to shoot from the hip, so to speak. People also like the closeness (of body and mind) that a strap-on affords partners during penetration. I recommend a slim dildo (about 7 inches long) and a simple, functional harness of your choice.

There is a growing selection of harnesses made of leather, vinyl, nylon webbing, and even denim; two of the best manufacturers of quality harnesses (who also do retail sales) are Stormy Leather in San Francisco and Aslan Leather in Toronto, Canada. Your choice of material depends on how you want your harness to look and how much money you want to spend.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Ejaculating Toys

> > Q: I have a question about ejaculating dildos and butt plugs. I saw a "recipe" for come that is made up of condensed milk, egg white, and sugar. Or what about just plain milk? I want to use an ejaculating dildo and actually make it ejaculate in my ass. Is it safe to use this "come" in my ass? Could this cause any medical problems?

> >
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> > A: Ejaculating dildos and butt plugs are lots of fun; they give you the opportunity to experience shooting a hot load up your own ass or the rear of a friend. My first experience with a squirting dong came when I was sucking off a butch girl; she slammed her cock into my mouth, and at the same time squeezed her balls. Suddenly, a burst of fluid shot to the back of my throat, and the surprise alone made me soak the wood floor I was kneeling on!

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> > I've heard that different people swear by different formulas for the perfect confection of fake jizz. The one that you describe (made of condensed milk, egg white, and sugar) creates an impressively lifelike texture and aesthetic; if you were going for great visuals—a pop shot on someone's mouth or tits, for example—that recipe would work well. If, however, your come shot is meant to be an internal one, then I've got two concerns when it comes to these confections. Because the rectum absorbs things quickly and easily, a shot of sweet faux come could leave you with a stomach ache. It is also a bitch to clean out of an ejaculating toy. For these reasons, I recommend two alternatives: use a creamy lube like Hydra-Smooth, Liquid Silk, or Sensual Power, which all have the look and feel of ejaculate. Or just use plain warm water, which still feels pretty real inside your ass.

Harnesses come in several styles, and your selection should depend on both function and aesthetics (see illustration 11). They all have an adjustable strap that goes around your hips. There is a basic triangle harness with one strap that fits between your legs; this harness tends to fit especially petite women the best. Because it fits like a G-string, the center strap rubs against your genitals, which may feel stimulating to some and annoying to others. There is a two-strapped harness with a triangle front that you wear like a jockstrap; this style places the straps around your asscheeks, leaving your vagina and ass easily accessible and free to be stimulated. People find that the two-strap harness tends to give them more control than the one-strap model; the dildo moves around less and is easier to guide. Both of these triangle styles have a hole where you slip the dildo through, resting it against your pubic mound.

Illustration 11: Strap-on Dildos and Harnesses

If you prefer something between you and the dildo, there is a two-strap harness with a piece of material behind the cock ring. This style (sometimes called the Terra Firma harness) also allows you to change the size of the cock ring, which is especially good if the dildo you are using is significantly smaller or larger than an average-size one. You also have a choice of fasteners on your harness, either buckles or D-rings. There are plenty of other styles, including those made to fit plus-size women. See what fits you best and is easiest for you to adjust.

You want to choose a harness that fits you well—the snugger and more secure the better. I recommend that you try a few different styles on before you buy them or if you order from a catalog, see what the return policy is. The majority of dildos will fit in a standard harness, as long as there is a flared base and the dildo isn't excessively large. For beginning anal players, I would recommend a smaller dildo to start out.

For some women, when the base of the dildo rubs against the clitoris and vagina, there is enough friction there to feel fantastic. You should also consider the power of having balls. Some women simply don't choose a dildo with balls because they prefer a more nonrealistic-style dildo; however, balls do more than make it look real, they extend the base of the dildo and cover more surface area—which means more for you to rub up against. Think about it. If you want to add a vibrator to the equation, you've got several options. You can select a vibrating dildo, which will deliver vibration to you and your partner. You could try to don a wearable vibrator beneath the harness, but this may be awkward and interfere with the harness being tight enough. A better idea is the Buzz Me harness made by Stormy Leather and equipped with a pocket for a small vibrating egg. There are also dildos with hollowed-out bases made for vibrating eggs; choose a small vibrator or one more powerful with a battery pack; tuck the battery pack in the side of the harness and you're ready for vibrating action! For double penetration (one for you, one for your partner), there are harnesses with two holes, one for the dildo to penetrate you with, another for a dildo pointing in your partner's direction. The Nexus by Vixen is not an extra-long jelly dong like you see in adult novelty stores. Instead, it's a two-dildos-in-one package: the harness wearer can have a dildo inside her pussy or ass while simultaneously penetrating her partner. I just love sex toy technology! (For more on strap-on anal sex, see chapter 11; for more on male anal pleasure, see chapter 12).

Inflatable Toys

Inflatable butt plugs may look like bachelor-party gag gifts, but they are sex toys that actually work. Some of my best friends swear by inflatable plugs! One selling point is that you can gradually work your way up from slim to sizable without having to buy four different size butt plugs. You can track your progress, and one toy can suit your different desires. Other people like to feel something expand inside them. Once the plug is inside you, you can give your ass time to relax, then one pump, and you feel more full. Like with all kinds of anal play, don't try to rush things—take your time. Use common sense and never overinflate one of these bad boys. Make sure you first inflate it outside the body, and note how many squeezes of the inflating pump it can take, since you don't want to find out its limit while it's up your butt. According to all the letters I receive, and the people I meet at my anal sex workshops across the country, I know of only two people who've ever experienced an inflatable plug bursting. Both times, it wasn't a manufacturing defect, but the user's overzealousness.

Anal Toy Tips

CLEAN: Anything you plan to put in an ass—fingers, toys, a penis—should be clean. Because each sex toy material is different, follow the care and cleaning recommendations in the next section. Never submerge a vibrating toy in water unless it's waterproof. Alternatively (or in addition), you can cover a toy with a condom.

SMOOTH: Never put any sharp object or anything with rough or jagged edges in the rectum. Never put anything breakable in the ass.

LUBRICATED: No matter what the size, shape, texture, or material of a toy, always use plenty of lube, and be sure to use the appropriate kind of lube (remember , no silicone lube on silicone toys).

WARMED UP: Any toy that's bigger than a finger is not a starter toy. Begin with fingers or a slim toy to warm up the ass before putting a bigger toy in it.

FLARED BASE: Whatever kind of toy you select, it must have one important feature: a flared base. Perhaps you have heard rumors about people "losing" objects in their rectums and rushing to the emergency room. Or maybe you've seen one of several websites that document with X-rays the different items people have put in their rectums. While part of this is pure urban legend, the truth is you can get something lost in your ass if you aren't careful. Once you are aroused, your pelvic muscles contract, and this could cause your ass to suck something all the way inside it; then, your sphincter muscles close and it's stuck. A flared base prevents a toy from going beyond the rectum and is the best way to prevent your own trip to the ER.

REALISTIC SIZE: It's not a good idea to put something of an unrealistic width, length, shape, or size in someone else's or your own ass. Be sensible.

Sex Toy Materials, Care, and Cleaning

Rubber and Jelly Rubber

The most popular sex toy material is latex rubber. Rubber toys are relatively inexpensive, widely available, and come in a wide variety of sizes, shapes, colors, and textures. A majority of realistic-looking dildos, dual-action vibrators, and inflatable toys are rubber. They are a great choice for sex toy beginners, since you can try out different ones without breaking the bank. Rubber toys are compatible with water-based and silicone-based lubricants, but not oil-based lube. Made of a different type of rubber, jelly toys have a clear, jellylike appearance and tend to be softer and more pliable than plain ol' rubber. Lots of people like jelly toys for their cool appearance and texture. You should only use water-based lubes with jelly rubber. Over the years, I've heard many complaints from women who have a bad reaction to a jelly toy; they've told me stories about how jelly toys can make their pussy itch, burn, or sting. Jelly toys are made of food-grade PVC with a softening agent added. Many contain phthalates, chemicals that help give them their squishy texture. Manufacturers of rubber baby and pet toys have stopped using phthalates because of their potential link to cancer, and some, but not all, toy companies have followed suit. For example, Vibratex (a maker of dual-action vibrators), Doc Johnson, and California Exotics claim their toys are made without phthalates. Ask the retailer where you buy a toy, or look for phthalates-free on the label to make sure you're getting the highest quality jelly rubber available. Before you use a jelly toy, you should inspect it; if it has a strong odor or a chemical film on it, then it's past its prime and should be thrown away.

Rubber and jelly rubber are porous, which means bacteria can make its way into nooks and crannies and stay there, and these toys cannot be completely disinfected. If you plan on sharing a rubber or jelly toy, you should put a condom on it first. Clean rubber and jelly with a mild liquid soap or a sex toy cleaner and store it in a cool, dry place; never use dishwashing liquid or any cleaner that contains alcohol. If your sex toy cleaner contains nonoxynol-9 (which many do), make sure you rinse toys thoroughly so none of the chemical lingers on the toy. People who are sensitive or allergic to latex should not use rubber toys (or they should cover them with nonlatex condoms first).

CyberSkin and Thermal Plastics

Popular terms like CyberSkin, SoftSkin, and UltraSkin are all brand names for a form of thermal plastic, a material rumored to have been invented by NASA. Thermal plastic has made a big splash on the sex toy scene because it has an incredibly realistic look and feel; it's as close to skin as something synthetic has gotten. Some women are sensitive to this material (some thermal plastic toys contain latex, so those allergic to latex beware), and if you are, I recommend covering it with a condom. Use only water-based lube with these toys. They are very porous and more prone to nicks and tears, so handle them carefully . You have to clean a thermal plastic toy right after you use it. Wash it with mild liquid soap or sex toy cleaner, make sure it's completely dry, then lightly dust it with cornstarch. This last step is necessary in maintaining its unique, fleshlike texture. Store in a cool, dry place away from other toys.

Hard Plastic

Some vibrators and butt plugs are made of hard plastic. Because they aren't flexible, toys made of hard plastic should be used carefully in the delicate rectum. Hard plastic is nonporous, easy to clean, and conducts vibration well. Some less expensive toys made with this material have seams which may be uncomfortable for penetration.

Vinyl

If you've ever seen incredibly large dildos and plugs (especially at stores like Mr. S Leather), they are probably made of vinyl. Vinyl is less porous than rubber and jelly, slightly more durable, but still inexpensive. Vinyl toys are safe for people with latex allergies and safe to use with all types of lubricants; they can be washed with antibacterial soap and water. The same rules about sharing that apply to rubber toys apply to vinyl ones. Vinyl toys should be stored away from heat, light, and other types of toys.

Silicone

When it comes to pliable sex toy materials, silicone is top of the line. Silicone toys come in a variety of colors, shapes, sizes, and even textures; these toys have a smooth texture that isn't sticky like rubber can be, and, depending on the manufacturer, silicone can feel soft, firm, or very firm. In addition, it warms to the touch and conducts body heat and vibration. Silicone toys are completely nonporous, so they are easy to clean and disinfect. These toys are very resilient and last the longest of all flexible materials; silicone can tear, but it takes some pretty rough handling to do so. The only drawback for silicone toy lovers is that they cannot use silicone lubricants with them; in most cases, silicone lube bonds to a silicone toy and ruins it, so stick to water-based lubes. Silicone can be cleaned in a number of ways: wash with hot water and antibacterial soap; soak in sex toy cleaner; boil for about three minutes; or wash in the top rack of the dishwasher without detergent (which is too harsh for silicone). Store them in a cool, dry place, and keep them upright if possible to protect them from bending or breakage.

Acrylic

Toys made of acrylic are hypoallergenic, unique, beautiful, and expensive. Some acrylic toys that are less expensive contain seams, but top-notch acrylic toys are completely seamless. Even silicone, the smoothest of soft materials, has a little "drag" to it, whereas these toys create an amazingly smooth sensation for penetration. Lube clings to them nicely, too. Caring properly for acrylic toys is very important if you want to maintain their transparency and finish. They're nonporous, tough (nearly unbreakable), but they can be easy to scratch. Wash them with hot water and antibacterial soap or soak them in a diluted bleach solution (10 parts water, 1 part bleach), then rinse well. Don't boil them or run them through the dishwasher, and never use alcohol as it will ruin the material by causing tiny cracks throughout it. Dry acrylic thoroughly with a soft cloth and store toys in something soft, like a velvet or satin bag (which often comes with the toy).

Glass

Glass toys have properties similar to those of acrylic—crystal-clear beauty, seamless lube-friendly finish, hypoallergenic material—except, naturally, they have more weight to them. If a glass toy isn't made of Pyrex (the most common high-quality consumer brand), then it should be certified medical grade, temperature resistant, and chemical resistant; if you're not sure, ask the retailer before you buy it. Glass toys can be warmed up easily (so they conduct body heat well), but never boil or put in the dishwasher unless instructions say you can. Because they are nonporous, they can be washed with soap and water, soaked in diluted bleach, even cleaned with alcohol (unlike acrylic). Use common sense: if it chips or breaks, let it go to glass toy heaven.

Metal

For folks who like a smooth, firm, solid toy, metal toys offer a variety of styles as well as weights. They're durable, nonporous, and conduct hot and cold temperatures nicely . There are a variety of metal toys on the market, made of aluminum or stainless steel, and some are hollow while others are solid metal. Metal can be cleaned with hot water and antibacterial soap, diluted bleach, alcohol, or by being placed in the top rack of the dishwasher without detergent. Metal toys must be dried completely to prevent rusting. Store them away from light, and in their own soft bag or a sock, to protect them from other toys.

Sex toy makers have gotten very creative, and in addition to acrylic, glass, and metal toys, there are other one-of-a-kind creations that can be beautiful works of art in addition to orgasm-inducing erotic tools. I've played with polished granite anal plugs (from JT's Stockroom), handcrafted hardwood dildos and anal bead toys coated in nontoxic protective coating (from Toy Bag), an aluminum tuning fork toy (from Innerspace), and other fun, exciting gizmos. These out of the ordinary toys can create unique sensations, and just look really cool going in and out of your ass or a partner's ass; as a general rule, they are not for beginners. The most important thing is to read and follow all cleaning and care instructions carefully. The bottom line is you've got lots of choices. Take a trip to your local sex toy shop or adult video store, or go online to see what's out there and what you might like. See the Resource Guide at the end of this book for retailers throughout the United States and Canada that carry a full line of toys and sex supplies.


Input: Write a chapter for a book about anal sex that focuses on anal masturbation. Discuss the benefits of masturbation as a way to become familiar with one's own body and preferences, and as a way to learn about anal pleasure before exploring it with a partner. Provide tips and advice on how to masturbate anally, including preparation, relaxation techniques, and specific actions to take. Address any concerns or questions readers might have about the safety and appropriateness of anal masturbation, and provide reassurance and guidance on how to make it a pleasurable and fulfilling experience.

Response:
CHAPTER 9

Doing It for Yourself: Anal Masturbation

Why You Should Masturbate

The best introduction to anal eroticism starts with your own behind. In the 1970s, consciousness-raising groups spawned by the women's movement encouraged women to explore their vaginas. They did gynecological self-exams with speculums to gain a better understanding of their bodies. The more knowledge women have about our own bodies, the more in touch we can be with our health as well as our sexual pleasure. But even the most enlightened among us are not as familiar with our asses as we are with our pussies. We are taught to think of them as private, dirty, and not a source of pleasure. Because of this, we may be alienated from a very important part of our own body, and masturbation can be a way to connect or reconnect, to literally and symbolically get in touch with our asses.

Unlike men, who only have to glance down to see one important source of their libidos, women have to find a well-lit room, a comfortable position, and a mirror just to see our own vaginas and clitorises. The same is true for our buttholes. Looking at your ass, touching it, stroking it, feeling how it responds to even the lightest touch can give you a world of information about anal eroticism. If you'd like to experience anal pleasure but you're skittish about first approaching it with a partner, self-exploration is a great place to start. Anal stimulation may at first be something you want to reserve for your "sex for one" occasions, which is fine; there will be plenty of time to bring anal eroticism to sex with a partner when you're ready. Your own exploration can get your ass used to stimulation and penetration. Maybe you're unsure of how it will feel or how you'll respond to penetration. Beginning by yourself means that you can experience various sensations without the pressure of wanting to please your partner. You can take as much time as you need, go as slow as you want, make noise if you want, stop if you want, come if you want. You can experiment with various kinds of stimulation and try different toys to see what works for you. Remember, you are the key to your own sexual pleasure.

> > Be sweet to your
>  little "rosebud."

> > —BETTY DODSON—

Masturbation of any kind can make you a better lover. Not only is anal masturbation fun, but through it you can learn more about what you like. Then, when you're ready to share it with a partner, you'll have information to communicate with him or her—information that will make the experience better for both of you. Experiencing anal pleasure by yourself can also help to reassure you that it can be pleasurable with a partner; you'll know what it feels like when it feels good.

I believe the best way to become skilled at doing something to someone else is to practice it on yourself first. If you want to penetrate someone else's ass, exploring your own anal area by yourself will give you insight into what's going on down there, including the ins and outs of the anus, anal canal, and rectum: the sensitive tissue, the all-important curves of the rectum, and the various sensations of anal stimulation and penetration. Self-pleasuring will also give you a good sense of what your partner might feel as you give him or her pleasure.

How to Masturbate

You may want to take a bath or a shower or give yourself an enema beforehand. The bath or shower will help you relax as well as give you an opportunity to get your butt nice and clean and ready for fun. Also make sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed neatly. Get a handheld mirror and your favorite lube, and find a suitable private place. First, take some deep breaths for several minutes to relax. Perhaps you'll want to lie down on the bed, play some soothing music, or light some incense. These are simply suggestions—do whatever will relax you.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Pumping

> > Q: My boyfriend and I recently discovered the pleasure of penis pumping, and I'm thinking of getting a clit pump. But lately I have been using my guy's penis pump on my asshole while I masturbate, and I love the sensation and the feeling. I was wondering if you have ever done this, and if it is a safe practice?

> >
>

> > A: Many men and women have discovered the joys of pumping. For readers who may not know about it, a penis pump works like this: Your cock goes inside a hard plastic cylinder which either has a built-in pump or an external one. As you pump, air is sucked out of the cylinder, and the vacuum-like suction sends blood rushing to the cock. This helps the cock become erect, enhances an erection by giving it a bigger appearance (temporarily), and creates a sucking sensation which many men love. Women can use the same pumping mechanism with a nipple attachment (a much smaller cylinder), which works great on the clitoris. There are also clit pumps on the market made especially for women. The same principles apply: blood rushes to the clit, making it more swollen (and often more sensitive) than usual. I've pumped my own clit, and find that not only is it hot to see my clit all fat and thick, but clitoral stimulation is a lot more intense after I've pumped. I've never used a pump on my butthole. The puckered skin of the asshole is sensitive tissue that's incredibly rich in nerve endings and gets engorged when you're aroused much like the rest of our genitals. So, it makes sense that when you apply suction to it, blood rushes to the area and creates a pleasurable sensation. Similar cautions for all pumping apply: use a little lube inside the cylinder for a comfortable, easier fit; be careful not to pinch the delicate skin when inserting it into the cylinder; do not over-pump or leave the cylinder on for too long.

Begin by masturbating as you usually do; start by doing what you know first, which for most of us will mean stimulating the vagina and clitoris. Bring out that favorite vibrator or dildo, turn on a hot porn video or a steamy movie—do whatever will get you aroused. Don't jump right into exploring your anus; instead, simply masturbate and get your entire body aroused.

Once you feel relaxed and ready to explore, find a comfortable position, one where you'll be able to stay for a while and where you'll have a good view of your butt. Lying on your back or sitting in a comfy chair or on the edge of the bed might be best at first so you can look in the mirror. Begin by looking at your anus. Just check it out—the shape, the size, the color. How does it look? Relaxed, tense, somewhere in between?

Chances are you've got some nervous energy, so begin with some relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation; you may also want to do some PC muscle exercises (see chapter 2) to get warmed up and get the blood flowing to your ass.

Gently massage your butt cheeks, inner thighs, and the area around your anus. Continue to massage, stroke, and explore the area, going at your own pace. Note how the opening responds to the massage around it. When you feel comfortable, lube up your finger and gently touch your anus. Make sure your finger is good and slippery . Don't penetrate it, just do some external touching. Stroke it, rub it, let the lube glide over your skin. Just stimulating the opening can be extremely pleasurable because of all the nerve endings in the area. You may also want to use a vibrator to stimulate the outside of your anus; vibrations can both relax the area and get the blood pumping there. Tune in to the sensations you feel, both in your anus and in the rest of your body. Keep touching, but just touching—no penetration of any kind yet. You can continue using the mirror , or put it down at any time. A good next step is to use your finger to press gently at the opening. Feel how your body responds to the pressure against it. Keep touching and pressing until you feel ready for more. You may want to continue to stimulate your clitoris to get further aroused; remember, masturbating gets the whole pelvic area stimulated and engorged.

If you want to explore penetration, begin with one well-lubed finger. You can also use a very slim sex toy. If you choose a toy, remember that it should have a flared base to prevent it from going too far into your ass. If you're using a dildo, it should have a base or be longer than 8" and have something to hold on to (like a baton-style dildo, which actually has a handle). I find that fingers are best to start with because you can really feel how your ass responds to stimulation, whereas with a toy, you may feel like you're flying blind. Plus, if the first finger that slips in your anus is your own, then someone else's won't seem so scary and may even feel better than you had imagined! Continue by adding more lube to your finger and inserting just the tip into your anus; stay there and let yourself get used to the feeling. Add some lubricant. Move your finger gently against the sides of the opening without going any farther inside. When you feel ready, venture a little farther. See how the sphincter muscles feel around your finger. You may want to continue to masturbate with your other hand or use a vibrator. Remember to be patient with yourself, go at your own pace, and listen to your body. If at any time you feel discomfort or pain, stop. There's no rush. Keep nudging the finger inside until it's as far as you want it to go.

Experiment with all the different sensations you can create with just one finger. You can try a slow probe, venturing inside inch by inch, experimenting with a variety of depths. Some people like a circular motion, creating circles just inside the anus with a finger and feeling the walls of the anus contracting around the finger. Other people enjoy the feeling of simply having something in their ass; see what it feels like to rub your clitoris while your finger stays still in your ass. You can also practice some in-and-out play, trying different speeds and rhythms as you slide your finger in and out of your anus. Savor each new movement and sensation.

As you become more experienced, you can repeat this exercise with more lube and more fingers. When you can comfortably fit about two fingers inside, you may want to graduate to a butt plug, dildo, or vibrator. Remember, plugs are good for that full feeling, dildos for in-and-out action, and vibrators for in-and-out and, of course, vibration. Because these toys are longer than your fingers, you can use them to probe more deeply into the rectum. Make sure to use plenty of lube and start out slowly. Pay attention to how the muscles contract around the toy; make sure to let your ass get used to the feeling each time you inch a little farther inside. You'll notice a difference as your tool moves from the anal canal into the rectum. In the anal canal, you'll experience more resistance and a tighter feeling. In the rectum, you will feel like there's more room. If you rush penetration, your anus is likely to get sore and you'll have to stop all activities before you might want to. If you listen to your body and give yourself a chance to get fully aroused, your ass will open up and give you plenty of room for penetration by a slim dildo and, eventually, even bigger things, if you want.

QUOTE

Betty Dodson, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (New York: Three Rivers Press, 1996).


Input: Write a chapter for a book about anal sex that focuses on analingus, also known as rimming. Discuss the common concerns and misconceptions about rimming, emphasizing the importance of hygiene and the normalcy of trace amounts of feces in the anal canal. Provide tips and advice on how to overcome hang-ups about rimming, including suggestions for enemas and barrier methods. Offer tips and techniques for performing analingus, including positioning and various ways to use the mouth and tongue. Discuss the pleasures of rimming for both the giver and the receiver. Address any safety concerns and provide guidance on how to practice safer sex during rimming, including the use of barriers and the risks associated with STDs and other infections.

Response:
CHAPTER 10

Let Your Tongue Do the Walking: Analingus

Analingus, known more commonly as "rimming," is stimulation of the anal area with the mouth and tongue—licking, flicking, nibbling, sucking, circling, and tongue-fucking. Many people love the simple pleasure of having their ass licked or licking a partner's ass. Because the anal area is so full of nerve endings, even the tiniest sensations can register high on the turn-on meter.

Hygiene

Lots of people feel especially anxious about rimming because of the association between the anus and defecating; we learn at an early age that if something is dirty or smells bad, we shouldn't put it in our mouth—or put our mouth on it. Remember that there are normally only trace amounts of feces in the anal canal and if the receiver has bathed beforehand, there won't be any around the external opening. If you and your partner are especially concerned about cleanliness, your partner could have an enema. (Remember an enema should be done at least two hours before the sexual encounter). Analingus need not be any more dirty or messy than cunnilingus. Some people find the anus disgusting or gross, just as some unenlightened folks find the vagina and clitoris unappealing. Yet many of us approach cunnilingus with desire and enthusiasm and feel the same about analingus.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: My Ass Licking Hang-Up

> > Q: My girlfriend wants me to kiss and lick her anus. I find this difficult to do because I was raised by strict Catholic parents who taught me that shit is dirty. I sniffed her asshole and it did not smell. I also licked all around it, but I could not bring my tongue to her little rosebud. I kept imagining it opening up and shit coming out of it. But when my girlfriend licked my anus, I ejaculated uncontrollably onto her chest. It felt great! How can I get past my hang-up?

> >
>

> > A: It's not just God-fearing Catholics who shy away from ass-to-mouth action; actually, plenty of folks have a fear of shit that prevents them from exploring many different forms of backdoor love, including being tongue-tied inside a sweetie's ass. Empty bowels and a hot soapy shower will ensure that your anal romp with your partner will be nothing but good clean fun. However, if you are especially concerned about cleanliness—and judging by those powerful poop images you are having, I'd say you are—then you may want to ask your girlfriend to have an enema before you go anywhere with that reluctant-yet-potentially-eager tongue of yours. You may also want to consider using a dental dam or some plastic wrap as a barrier between your mouth and her butthole. Since you have obviously experienced the ecstatic pleasures of rimming from the other end, you owe it to yourself and your girlfriend to give it right back to her. Sexual double standards suck, and it's not fair that you should be sitting on her face without letting her sit on yours.

Analingus Tips and Techniques

A good way to introduce rimming is to begin nibbling and licking your partner's asscheeks. As is true for other activities, it's important to explore and pleasure the whole area, rather than diving right into the crown jewel. Once you're ready to put your mouth on the anus, start out slowly. Let your mouth, lips, and tongue explore freely, and experiment with different techniques as you go along. Listen to your partner's verbal and nonverbal responses and let those help guide you. Brush your lips against the opening, letting your bottom lip drag and linger there. Lick around the opening making a circular motion with your tongue. Start at the pucker and move out toward the cheeks, repeating this technique all the way around. Reverse this motion: begin at the outer edge and move toward the center. Let your tongue slip into the hole gently, then back out. Try thrusting your tongue in and out, penetrating your partner's ass.

> > I trace my tongue up and down
>  her crack, so gently, full of hot
>  breath, I want her to feel the heat
>  even through the barrier, want her
>  to be able to imagine it isn't there.
>  I start to work my tongue in a little
>  deeper, wriggling it against the
>  sensitive spots, taking long, long
>  licks from just below the opening
>  of her cunt over and past her
>  asshole, licking a fraction harder
>  with each swipe of my tongue. She
>  sighs, shifts her hips, presses
>  against me. Encouraged, I keep on,
>  starting to vary the pressure and
>  depth of each lick, sometimes
>  using the broad flat of my tongue
>  and sometimes just the very tip,
>  as hard as I can make it; I trace
>  around the opening of her
>  asshole, crinkled tightly shut,
>  tracing my tongue along each of
>  the tiny sunburst furrows of skin
>  that radiate out from it, trying to
>  get it to trust me.

> > —S. BEAR BERGMAN—

There are a variety of positions you can try for analingus. Some people like to lick their partner's anus from behind in the doggie-style position, with the receiving partner on hands and knees. Others like to create a version of the sixty-nine position, so they can pleasure each other simultaneously. You can lick your partner's anus from almost any position, including standing, sitting, or lying down. Experiment with what is most comfortable and pleasurable for both of you.

Rimming can be incredibly pleasurable for everyone involved, including the person giving the pleasure. Nina Hartley demonstrates in her anal sex video: "Rimming is extremely, extremely pleasurable… It's important to keep in mind that if you're performing analingus, give your mouth a good time. Again, it's never something that you're just doing to the other person; it's something you're sharing with each other. As happy as my [ass] is, his mouth is equally as happy."1

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Cotton Mouth

> > Q: I am a newcomer to analingus, and I've only performed it on my girlfriend a few of times. Every time I do, my mouth gets extremely dry. Why is that?

> >
>

> > A: As an avid ass-eater myself, I've never run into the problem you describe. But that doesn't mean it's not possible. There is nothing inherent to rimming that leads to a dry mouth, but there are a few possible explanations for your condition. As you lick your lover's butthole and spread your saliva around, you may be sharing more spit than your mouth is producing, leading to an imbalance. You may also be dehydrated, which is easily rectified by drinking plenty of fluids before you dive back in. If it's still uncomfortable, then I suggest you rub a small amount of lube (either a flavored one or one with a taste you don't mind) on her pucker before you kiss it. Your dry mouth is most likely unrelated to your ass licking altogether: many medications can cause a dehydrated mouth, as can common substances like tobacco, alcohol, and caffeine. If this parched condition persists, you should see your doctor.

You can combine rimming with other oral pleasure. During a blow job, tease his balls with your tongue, then move down to his ass. Or, after licking your partner's pussy, let your finger take over for your mouth to stimulate her , and venture to her ass to give it some oral attention.

Analingus and Safer Sex

One of the golden rules of anal play is that if something goes in an ass, it should never be inserted in a pussy without a thorough washing or a new condom, glove, or dam. Does that mean you can never go from analingus to cunnilingus without spreading germs? The reason that going directly from ass to pussy is not a good idea is because you can introduce bacteria from the rectum into the vagina, where it will cause an infection. There is a much greater risk of this transfer of bacteria during penetration because a finger, cock, or toy has been inside the rectum (the deeper you go, the more likely you will come into contact with bacteria or trace amounts of fecal matter). When it comes to oral stimulation, if you are simply licking the outside or just inside of your girlfriend's ass, then her outer lips and clitoris, there is less (but not zero) risk of cross-contamination, as long as her ass was clean to begin with. If you want to be super safe, you can rinse your mouth out with mouthwash in between oral acts or use separate dams for each activity.

If you plan to lick someone's ass, you should know the risks. You can be exposed to genital warts, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and hepatitis A. If there are open sores on the anus or in the anal canal, you are at risk for hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and HIV. So you should practice safer sex by using an oral sex barrier like a dental dam, plastic wrap, an unlubricated condom cut lengthwise, or a latex glove cut into a usable shape. Dab some lube on the side of the barrier that covers the anus.

If you and your partner have tested negative for STDs and hepatitis and are in a monogamous relationship, licking ass is relatively safe. However, if you come into contact with any fecal matter, you can catch whatever is in the person's gastrointestinal tract, including parasites, worms, hepatitis A, and any other disease-causing organism living there. Normally, if someone has a gastrointestinal problem, he or she feels sick and is unlikely to be in the mood for ass licking. But it is possible to be infected and asymptomatic. As for E. coli, there is always some E. coli in the stool. If it's a disease-causing E. coli, then the person who has it is already sick and symptomatic, and you shouldn't lick his or her ass. If a person has no symptoms of E. coli disease, then you should be fine.

NOTE

1 Hartley, Guide to Anal Sex.

QUOTE

S. Bear Bergman, "Lessons," Best Lesbian Erotica 2005, edited by Tristan Taormino (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2004), 128-129.