Input: Write a chapter for a book about anal sex that provides practical advice on using enemas for cleaning purposes. Discuss the different types of enemas, including plastic bottle and bulb syringe enemas, enema bags, and shower attachments, and provide instructions on how to use each type. Address concerns about safety and hygiene, and provide tips for cleaning enema equipment. Discuss the potential benefits and risks of adding ingredients to enemas, and provide guidance on how to choose the right enema for individual needs. Include an FAQ section that addresses specific questions about enemas and provide resources for further information.

Response:
CHAPTER 5

Enemas

An enema is the process of introducing water (or another liquid solution) into the rectum to flush out the colon, rectum, and anal canal. As the water makes its way into your ass, it loosens fecal matter and stimulates the bowels. Although you don't need to have an enema in order to have relatively safe and clean anal sex, some people prefer it. If you're going to have lots of anal sex in one session or are planning to try large toys or fisting, then I definitely recommend an enema. For people who might be squeamish about any potential mess, an enema will not only clean their ass, but also give them reassurance and confidence.1

As a solo activity, an enema can be accomplished relatively quickly, or you can take some time as part of an overall pre-sex ritual, where you bathe, shave, and prepare your body and mind for a hot date. This can serve not only to cleanse the body, but also to help ground you, help you meditate and think about what's coming. It can also be something you share with your partner in preparation for a sexual experience. Some people enjoy giving or receiving enemas; they may get sexual pleasure from the sensations an enema produces, the intimacy the process creates, or the taboo nature of doing anything involving bodily functions. (See chapter 13 for a discussion of erotic enema play.)

Whether by yourself or with someone, you can give (or take) an enema anywhere you feel comfortable. If you do it in the bathroom, when you feel the urge to go, you don't have to go very far. You may feel more comfortable lying on a bed. Wherever you do it, make sure you are close to the bathroom. This chapter will cover three different types of enemas: plastic bottle and bulb syringe, enema bag, and shower attachment.

Illustration 4: Enema Equipment

Plastic Bottle and Bulb Syringe Enemas

The two simplest kinds of enemas are a disposable plastic bottle enema available at drug stores and a reusable rubber bulb syringe you can purchase on various websites. Inexpensive and easy to find, they require no set up or additional equipment, so you can use them nearly anywhere, and they're easy to travel with. Because they hold a relatively small amount of water, these kinds of enemas generally clean out the anal canal and lower rectum; they won't get into the upper rectum or colon to give you the deepest clean, but they are quick and simple to use.

The most commonly known brand of plastic bottle enema is the Fleet enema, which you can find at most drugstores; less expensive generic versions are also available. To use it, unscrew the plastic top and pour out the contents. All store-bought enemas contain a chemical laxative, which you don't need. Rinse the bottle several times and refill it with plain warm water. Cool or cold water can produce discomfort and cramping, so make sure the water is warm enough. The water should feel warm to the touch, but never hot or scalding (recommendations are for a temperature between 100-105°F). Replace the top on the plastic bottle, then remove the cover of the nozzle tip. Most nozzle tips come prelubricated, but feel free to add some of your favorite lube to make insertion easier.

Pick a comfortable position that allows you easy access to your ass. You can squat over the toilet, lean over the edge of the bathtub, kneel with your ass up and shoulders down, or lay on your side with one leg up. Gently slide the nozzle tip of the bottle into your ass. Squeeze the bottle to release the water into your butt. Take a deep breath, and see if you can hold the water. The amount of time you can hold the water varies from person to person; it may be anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes. Your body will tell you when it's time to sit on the toilet and have a bowel movement. Refill the bottle, and repeat the steps until all that comes out of your ass is clear water. Since the standard plastic bottle enema holds only 4.5 ounces, you may also choose to fill the bottle, fill your ass, then refill the bottle and your ass a few times until you feel full, then evacuate. After you're done, you should discard the bottle since it's made for single use only.

Bulb syringes are made of a thicker, more durable rubber and hold twice as much water as a plastic bottle (the standard size is 10 ounces); some also come with interchangeable nozzles. The bulb syringe works the same way as the plastic bottle except that it does not come prefilled and it's reusable. Follow the instructions above. When you are finished, clean the syringe and nozzle with hot water and antibacterial soap and let it dry completely.

> > Few generals or presidents
>  ever exercise such personal
>  power as a nurse and her
>  enema bag do in controlling
>  the bowels of a patient.

> > —DR. JERRY GLENN KNOX—

Enema Bags and Accessories

If you'd like to have an enema that cleans the entire rectum as well as the colon, choose an enema bag. Compared to plastic bottle enemas and bulb syringes, an enema bag takes more equipment, more time, and a little more skill. The equipment is still portable, although it will take up more room in your luggage if you travel. The advantage of an enema bag is that you can fill your rectum with more water than with a bottle or syringe.

The easiest way to purchase an enema bag setup is to get a kit that includes all the necessary items: bag, tubing, clamp, nozzle, and hook. You can also purchase these items separately at medical and fetish websites (see Resource Guide). Here's a guide to the necessary items:

BAGS: The most recognizable and available enema bag is the red rubber 2-quart bag, sold in most drug stores with all the necessary accessories. You can find this and other rubber bags as well as silicone bags at specialty stores and websites. Silicone is a lot more expensive than rubber , but it's much more resilient since it is not affected by typical wear and tear like rubber is. Silicone bags will last a long time, whereas rubber bags should be replaced every few years. Enema bags come in a variety of colors and sizes, including 2 quart, 4 quart, and 5 quart.

TUBING: Tubing that connects the enema bag to the nozzle can be made of latex rubber or silicone. It comes in a variety of colors and some different widths, although 5/16" is the most common.

CLAMPS: Made of plastic or metal, the clamp is what controls the flow of water from the bag through the tube and into your ass. An on/off clamp offers only one speed, so you cannot control the flow of the water. A ratchet-type clamp gives you much better control of the flow, but going from on to off isn't immediate. Some folks like to use two clamps: one near the bag that has a flow control, and one closer to the nozzle that's on/off. That way, you can experiment with water speed, and once you decide on speed, set the ratchet, then set the on/off clamp to off. When you switch it to on, you've got your desired speed.

Illustration 5: Enema Bag Equipment and Nozzles

CONNECTORS: The advantage to buying an enema kit is that everything fits together. If you buy your items separately, not everything may be the same size, since widths of enema bag openings, tubing, and nozzles can vary from 1/4" to 5/16" to 3/4". If the items you want to use are not the same size, then you need connectors. For example, in order to use a bag with a 1/4" opening and tubing that's 5/16" together, you need a 1/4"-to-5/16" connector. Connectors are sold separately at enema equipment specialty stores and websites.

HOOKS: Enema kits come with a plastic hook or you can purchase one separately. This is a small but important piece since you'll need to hang the enema bag.

TOWELS: It's a good idea to put a bath mat down on the floor, and have a towel or two nearby. If you're administering an enema to yourself or someone else in a place other than a bathroom, you may want to lay down towels or absorbent bed pads.

FLOW INDICATORS: Although not necessary for an effective enema, a flow indicator is a cool accessory for enema fans. Flow indicators attach to the enema tubing and measure the speed of the water flow.

Enema Nozzles

When you purchase an enema bag kit, it comes with a basic nozzle for the end of the tubing; it's made of a firmer material than the tubing and has one or more holes in it through which the water flows. If you purchase your enema items separately, you'll definitely need to get a nozzle. Since the nozzle is the part that goes inside your ass, you want the size, shape, and material to be comfortable for you. Here are some examples of different kinds (also see Illustration 5):

FLEXIBLE RUBBER NOZZLES: These slim, soft rubber nozzles are easy to insert and great for enema beginners. Because they're skinny, though, some people complain that water can leak out more easily.

HARD RUBBER OR PLASTIC NOZZLES: These small but hard nozzles are often sold in a set of several different sizes and shapes. Their size is good for novices, although their firmness may be less comfortable than a more flexible material.

BUTT PLUG STYLE NOZZLES: Made of a variety of materials including rubber, hard plastic, aluminum, and stainless steel, these nozzles look like butt plugs and anal bead toys because basically they are—except they attach to tubing and have holes in the tips for water to flow through. If you want to add a pleasurable element to your enema, then nozzles that "double" as toys are for you.

INFLATABLE BALLOON NOZZLES: The top-of-the-line accessories that enema aficionados rave about are the single and double inflatable balloon nozzles. Picture a rubber arrow-shaped nozzle with an inflator bulb attached. The idea behind the design is that once you insert and inflate the nozzle, it forms a kind of seal which helps you keep it in. They can be very expensive (from one-hundred to two-hundred dollars), but they are worth it. There are also less expensive disposable models on the market.

For the single inflatable, lube up the deflated nozzle and carefully insert it into the ass. Since it's so squishy, getting it in can be a challenge. Try twisting it back and forth or slipping a finger under the bottom of the nozzle to help guide it. Once it's in, inflate the balloon with several squeezes of the inflator bulb (about one to four squeezes for 250cc balloons and one to eight for the larger variety). Once the balloon is inflated, tug on it very gently to make sure that it is sitting just inside the inner sphincters.

One complaint about the single balloon nozzle is that it can shift position and water can leak past it. The double inflatable has two nozzles designed to solve this problem: one sits just inside the sphincter and the other sits outside the anal opening to hold everything in place. Insert the first nozzle, following the single nozzle instructions above. Once that nozzle is in and inflated, inflate the second nozzle just outside the anus. Once the nozzles are in place and feel snug, you can begin the flow of water.

Inflatable nozzles come in rubber and silicone; never use oil-based lubes on rubber, or silicone lubes on silicone. For cleaning instructions, see the cleaning section later in this chapter.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Sit-on Enema Bag

> > Q: I saw a picture of an enema bag on the Internet that looked like a hot water bottle that you sit on. Have you ever heard of such a thing?

> >
>

> > A: Modeled after enema bag designs from the 1920s, the "sit-on" enema bag looks like a whoopee cushion with a butt plug nozzle in the center. You literally sit on the nozzle and your body weight forces the water into your ass. No tube, no clamp. It sounds like it wouldn't work, especially since you're working against gravity in this situation, but the folks I know who've used it simply love it. This kind of enema bag is hard to find, so I recommend BethTyler.com.

Using an Enema Bag

One you've got all your equipment and the appropriate pieces are connected to one another, you're almost ready to start your enema. Fill the bag with plain warm water. Test the temperature on your wrist first to make sure it's not too hot. If you're going to fuss with things for several minutes after you fill the bag, then you can make the water slightly hotter and it will cool off. It's best to fill the bag entirely, even if you don't think you'll take the whole thing, to prevent air bubbles.

Hang the enema bag approximately 18-24" from where your butt will be when you get into your desired position. This could be on the shower curtain rod, on a hook, or if you're very fancy, on an IV stand. The idea here is that gravity powers the enema, so it needs to be far enough above you to work but not so high up that the water flows too quickly. When the bag is full—before you insert anything—unlock the clamp and let the water begin to flow into the tub, sink, or a bucket. You can make sure everything is properly connected and working , and you can adjust the flow if your clamp is ratchet-style. This also allows you to release any air bubbles. Close the clamp.

If you're giving yourself an enema, make sure the clamp is close enough to the nozzle to be within easy reach for you. You can proceed two ways: insert the well-lubricated nozzle into your ass, then get into the position you want to be in, or get into position, then insert the nozzle. This, along with your chosen position, is something you should experiment with beforehand to see what's comfortable. If you're using a nozzle bigger than the size of a finger, you need to warm up the ass with fingers or smaller toys before you put it in. Some people like to lie on their back with their knees up and hips tilted forward for easy access; others prefer to lay on their stomachs or in a fetal position. You could get into doggie-style position or on your knees with ass up and head down, especially if someone is helping you with your enema. The traditional position used in hospitals is lying on your left side with your right leg pulled up to your chest. Standing up, sitting up, or squatting are the trickiest positions because the colon is not in the best position for gravity to work its magic, but if this position works for you, then go for it. When you're ready, unlock the clamp to begin the flow of water. If the clamp is adjustable, begin with the lowest flow speed at first. You can always increase it later, but the lowest is absolutely recommended for beginners.

Take some deep breaths as the water fills your ass. It's going to feel strange at first. Since your rectum is used to expelling matter, having water flow into it, however slowly, can feel a little weird at first. Don't worry—this sensation of fullness in your rectum just takes some getting used to. You may feel uncomfortable at first, but it should not feel painful at all. If you experience any cramping, close the clamp and take some deep breaths. Try changing positions or bringing the bag closer to you. Proceed when you feel ready.

Experts agree that the average person can take about 2 quarts of water. But an average is just that, so take as much or as little as you can. Experienced enemates shouldn't take more than 4 quarts at one time, although even larger-sized bags are sold and people do use them safely. You'll know when you've had enough because you'll have the sensation of fullness and pressure or you'll have the urge to go the bathroom. At this point, some people are able to take a deep breath and relax and take in some more. Others need to stop. Do what works for you. When you're ready to stop, close the clamp. When you're full, hold the water for as long as feels comfortable. This could be a few seconds or a few minutes, depending on your experience and comfort level. You'll have a distinct urge to have a bowel movement; listen to your body. Carefully slide the nozzle out of your ass, sit on the toilet, and let nature takes its course. I prefer to leave the nozzle in until the last moment, so I detach the nozzle from the tubing (whatever water remains in the tube from the clamp to the nozzle will come out, so be prepared for that), sit on the toilet, then slide the nozzle out once I'm there. You can do it either way.

Give yourself plenty of time to evacuate. When you go, it may feel like having diarrhea. That's normal since you've just introduced a lot of water into the rectum and loosened everything up. When you're done, you may decide to go a second round. In that case, repeat the steps until only clear water comes out of your ass. When it's over, clean your enema equipment and drink a glass of water or a sports drink to stay hydrated.

Shower Attachment Enemas

A guy I know from Texas installed an enema attachment in his shower. Shortly thereafter, his mother came to his house. Notoriously nosey, she snooped around, as she usually did, looking into every nook and cranny and inspecting his cleaning skills. During her visit to his bathroom, although the shower curtain was closed, she pulled it back to check out the bathtub. When she came out of the bathroom, she asked, "What's that fancy thing in the shower for?" Caught off guard and more than a little embarrassed, he answered quickly, "Oh, that's for giving the dog a bath."

"What a great idea!" she responded. "You'll have to install one in my house!" Not wanting to get caught in a lie, the next weekend he installed a Shower Shot enema attachment for his mother. Either she's figured out what it's really for, or that's one clean dog she's got.

You can buy an attachment for your shower—called the nozzle attachment, shower diverter, Shower Shot, or the Shur Shot—through some hardware stores or at specialty retail websites. The attachment diverts the water from the shower head to a hose with a nozzle at the end of it. Some systems allow water to flow through both the shower head and the nozzle, so you can have an enema and get the rest of you body clean simultaneously. Some are made entirely of chrome-plated brass and metal, others are made of chrome with vinyl hoses and plastic nozzles. Some shower attachment sets come with a nozzle, others do not; a wide variety of nozzles—including aluminum butt plug style nozzles, stainless steel interchangeable nozzles, and jelly dong nozzles—are sold separately. Some diverters are a simple on/off style, while others are a combination of on/off and a flow control.

The upside to this type of enema is the convenience and a constant water supply—no bag to refill, no pieces to assemble; your enema setup is right there in the shower. You also have much more control over the water flow, which is controlled by the faucets in your tub. You can often take as much or more water as you can with an enema bag, for a deeper cleaning. The downside is you can't take it with you anywhere you go! There are a few things that are important to consider before you decide to invest in one of these attachment kits (which usually cost from forty to seventy dollars). You should only use a shower attachment if you have good control over your water temperature and pressure. If you live in an apartment building where either regularly fluctuates, or in a house with older plumbing or a small hot water heater, this is not the enema setup for you. If, during a shower, you often find the water going from the perfect temperature to freezing or scalding in an instant, then yours is not the ideal shower for an enema attachment.

> > He's told her that it's a natural
>  human need, this ritual. He's
>  emphasized…[the] sense of
>  regression, of being small,
>  cared for, looked after…all
>  thoughts she'll feel as he bares
>  her behind, spreads her cheeks,
>  puts the nozzle in, opens the
>  clamp. And rubs between her
>  legs as she squirms and shifts
>  over his lap, feeling the
>  pressure in her bowels grow.

> > —M. R. STRICT—

If you're a good candidate, then purchase an attachment kit and follow the instructions to install it. After installation, it's best to test things out before you christen it. Set the water temperature and pressure to a comfortable level. Flip the lever that switches the flow and see how it works. Once you're satisfied with the setup, you can begin. Find a comfortable position; since you're in the shower you may want to stand or kneel and lean over the edge of the tub. Lubricate the nozzle, and warm up your ass first. Just as with an enema bag enema, you're going to fill up, hold it, and evacuate. Some people get out of the shower and sit on the toilet, while others prefer to stay right in the shower. Doing it right in the shower means you don't have to keep jumping in and out; however, you should only release the water (and everything that comes with it) from your ass into the shower if you know that you've got an exceptional drainage system. Believe me, you don't want to call a plumber in the middle of your enema. Repeat the enema until you're all clean.

Enema Do's and Don'ts

Giving enemas is a skill that takes practice and patience. You should feel only a little discomfort during an enema; if you experience pain or cramping, go sit on the toilet right away. Allow yourself plenty of time and several bowel movements before you're cleaned out. If you are a frequent enema-taker or are concerned about losing electrolytes, you can add 1 teaspoon of sea salt per 1 quart of water. The salt brings the enema water more closely in balance with bodily fluids and helps prevent too much water from being absorbed by the colon. When less water is absorbed, you can get a better cleansing, and more water will come out of your ass. You may also feel the need to pee less often.

You should finish an enema at least two to three hours before you plan to have anal sex. This time gives your body a chance to recover and allows the thin layer of mucous that lines and protects the rectum to regenerate. Plus, it prevents another potential situation. Sometimes, I believe I'm all done with my enema. I get dressed to run some errands. Inevitably, I wait on some impossibly long line at the post office or somewhere, and just as I get to the counter, I have an urge. Oh. My. God. My enema is so not over. This is what I call the "second wave" (the discovery that there was more in there), and the second wave can happen without warning. If the second wave happens in the middle of an anal sex date, then things are going to be messier than if you never had an enema in the first place. So give yourself plenty of time between enema and anal sex.

People with high blood pressure, heart problems, serious health conditions, or a compromised immune system should talk to a doctor before having an enema. Even if you're in good health, it's not a good idea to have enemas too frequently. They tend to stress out your rectum, and too much of this evacuation can throw your rectum, bowels, and gastrointestinal tract off balance. There is no agreed-upon frequency, but I will say this: once a day every day is too much, once a month is fine. Once a week or every two weeks is okay as long as it's not every single week—give yourself some longer breaks. Do not overdo it on enemas. I don't want to see any of you at an Enema Addicts Anonymous meeting! If, after an enema, you don't have a bowel movement or expel any liquid, you could be dehydrated or have a serious condition. See a doctor immediately.

> > Enema Tips

> > > > • If you don't trust your tap water (for example, if you wouldn't drink it), use bottled distilled water, and warm it up before you fill the syringe or enema bag.

> > > > • Never use a vaginal douche in your rectum.

> > > > • Do not share enema equipment.

> > > > • Always clean your enema equipment carefully right after you use it.

> > > > • Read and follow all instructions that accompany enema kits or equipment.

Cleaning Enema Equipment

One way to clean rubber or silicone enema bags, tubing, and nozzles is to wash them thoroughly with warm water and antibacterial soap or soak them in a soap and water solution, then rinse them several times with plain water. Make sure to dry all items completely, especially the bag, so no mold or mildew forms on surfaces.

There are differences of opinion when it comes to using bleach to clean enema equipment. Some people recommend soaking both rubber and silicone equipment in a diluted bleach solution (10 parts water, 1 part bleach) for about 20 minutes. Rinse all items, especially the bag, several times to make sure no bleach remains and dry them properly. Others caution that a thorough rinse is not enough, and some bleach will likely remain on the equipment. The next time you have an enema, this theory goes, that bleach will end up in your ass.

Because of gravity, there's no chance that fecal matter can travel from your ass into the enema bag, so as long as the bag is rinsed out (even in only hot water) and properly dried, it will be fine. Bacteria and fecal matter from the ass can get on nozzles and even migrate from nozzles to tubing, so if you're going to be anal retentive about cleaning, those are the items you should concentrate on. Whether you use a mild soap (and cotton swabs or pipe cleaners to make sure to get in nooks and crannies) or a bleach solution, the most important step is rinse, rinse, rinse.

Remember that rubber items are porous and can never be completely disinfected. Silicone isn't porous, and can be disinfected with hot water and antibacterial soap, although I still recommend that you never share enema equipment with another person. Nozzles made of other materials should be cleaned according to their specific instructions (Also see the guidelines for toy cleaning in chapter 8).

Inflatable nozzles require extra care when cleaning and storing. Heat, direct sunlight, dampness, and harsh chemicals will all degrade them and shorten their shelf life. Wash the nozzle and its connecting tube in warm water and a mild soap. Be especially careful not to get any water in the air tubes or the inflators since this will ruin them. Use a towel to dry off, making sure it's completely dry, then dust it lightly with cornstarch and store it in a cool, dry, dark place.

Enema Ingredients

Some of you may have heard about oil enemas or various ingredients you can add to plain water enemas like soap, salt, or various herbal remedies. Any and all of these can irritate the lining of the rectum, which is very delicate. Any substance that you introduce into the rectum gets absorbed very quickly and goes directly into the bloodstream. It's not the same as ingesting the exact substance because when we eat or drink something, it has the benefit of going through our stomachs and livers where it's broken down before it enters the bloodstream.

I'm a purist when it comes to enemas. I believe that plain warm water does a fine job, and that the risks are too great for a negative reaction from adding other ingredients (except sea salt to balance electrolytes as previously discussed). I include the most popular kinds of enemas in this chapter for informational purposes, but I do not endorse them. I suggest you consult a health care professional before you do any kind of enema other than a plain water one.

Soap is probably the most common thing people add to an enema. While I see the logical connection between soap and cleaning, the point of an enema is to flush out fecal matter, not wash it like dirty feet. You should never use liquid antibacterial soap, body wash, or dishwashing detergent as they are too harsh; castile soap is the gentlest of all liquid soaps. Enema equipment retailers often carry castile soap and some enema practitioners extol the virtues of soap enemas. You should use only a few drops of soap in the water, and do several plain enemas after to rinse thoroughly. No matter how mild the soap, it can still irritate the delicate tissue of the rectum, which is why I caution against it.

Oil has been used over the years for its laxative properties and can be helpful in relieving constipation or what Certified Colon Hydrotherapist Kristina Amelong calls "a sluggish colon." 2 Vegetable oil, olive oil, castor oil, or mineral oil can stimulate the defecation process, but again, if you're in good health and simply want to flush out your ass, you don't need oil to do it. Besides an oil enema is a chore to clean up after.

Herbal remedies like chamomile, peppermint, fennel, aloe vera, lavender, and dozens of others are used in enemas for their various healing properties, to stimulate immune function, or to treat specific medical conditions. Just because these ingredients are natural doesn't automatically mean they are safe. Consult a medical professional before using any of them orally or rectally.

Coffee enemas are said to have a detoxifying effect on the liver, gall bladder, and other organs, and some people swear by coffee enemas for good health. Be aware that coffee can also be an irritant, and because it contains caffeine, a stimulant. Like other ingredients, I don't recommend it unless you're under the supervision of a health care provider.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Wild Weekend

> > Q: I am visiting my lover for a four-day weekend, and, since we don't see each other very often, we plan to have lots of sex, including plenty of anal penetration. I want to be clean for the entire time, so can I have an enema every day?

> >
>

> > A: Having an enema every day of your four-day romp will probably do more harm than good. Enemas stress out the body, and too many enemas in such a short period of time can disrupt the production of mucous to protect the rectum and definitely throw things off balance. Here's my recommendation: have a nice-sized enema (with an enema bag or shower attachment) the night before you arrive. That should keep you cleaned out for several days, provided you eat a healthy diet and have regular bowel movements. By day three, if you want to clean again, do a rinse with a plastic bottle or bulb syringe—it will reassure you that you're still clean, without overdoing it.

Alcohol enemas of any kind—wine, beer, or hard liquor—not only irritate rectal tissue like other substances, but are extremely dangerous. Because of the amazing absorptive quality of the rectum, putting something in your ass is like shooting it directly into your veins. It bypasses the stomach and liver, and goes straight to the bloodstream. Alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH), the enzyme that breaks down alcohol after you drink it, is present in the stomach and liver, but very little in the colon. Normally, alcohol is partially metabolized in the liver before it hits your bloodstream and you start feeling its effects. With an alcohol enema, not only are the effects felt almost immediately, but the amount of alcohol it takes to get you intoxicated is much less. In addition to making you sick, alcohol enemas, even when diluted with water, can lead to alcohol poisoning .

NOTE

1 Kristina Amelong on www.optimalhealthnetwork.com.

QUOTES

Dr. Jerry Glenn Knox, Love Thine Enemas & Heal Thyself (Vancouver, WA: Lifeknox Publishing, 2002), 15.

M. R. Strict, Intimate Invasions: The Erotic Ins and Outs of Enema Play (Oakland, CA: Greenery Press, 2004), 2.


Input: Write a chapter for a book about anal sex that provides practical advice on safer sex practices. Discuss the different types of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and how they can be transmitted through anal sex. Provide guidance on how to protect oneself and one's partner, including the use of gloves, oral sex barriers, and condoms. Address common misconceptions about safer sex practices, such as the belief that certain condoms cannot be used for anal sex. Include tips on how to use barriers and condoms properly, and provide resources for further information on safer sex practices.

Response:
CHAPTER 6

Safer Sex

Every sexual encounter we have with another person has its own physical and emotional risks, responsibilities, and rewards. While we may not be able to anticipate or guard against feelings or issues that arise from an erotic experience, we can protect our bodies from infection and disease. It's important to know what STDs or sexually transmitted diseases (also known as STIs or sexually transmitted infections) are, how they are transmitted, and how to protect ourselves from them. I cover the most common STDs—human papillomavirus, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, and HIV/AIDS—in chapter 17. It's equally important for you and your partner to get tested regularly for STDs regardless of your sexual orientation. Unless you and your partner are monogamous and have recently tested negative for all STDs, you may be at risk to give or get an STD. Practicing safer sex can decrease the chances of STD transmission.

It's a good idea to practice safer sex if: you or your partner have an STD; you don't know your own or your partner's STD status; or you are not in a monogamous relationship with an STD-free partner. Here are some of the tools you can use to protect yourself and your partner.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Rash from Her Ass

> > Q: I recently started dating, well, fucking, somebody I've known for close to a year. She has been without a sexual partner for a long time, but she's a serious hypochondriac about STDs; she was tested for everything twice in April, and once last month. She gets depo shots, so we fuck without condoms. So, how come I get a strange rash on my glans and foreskin, usually lasting for a day or two, when I fuck her in the ass? It doesn't hurt and it basically just makes the regular bumps and pores looks bigger and red. There's no funky smell or discharge either. I've studied the symptoms of about every friggin' STD more than this girl has, plus I've been tested more than she has. It doesn't look like any STD I've heard of.

> >
>

> > A: I know you think your lover is a hypochondriac, but I applaud both of you for getting tested often because most people do not. And it also sounds like you know a lot about STDs, which makes you more educated than the average guy on that subject. You may be having an allergic reaction to the lube you are using . Most lubes, whether water-based or silicone-based have similar ingredients, but they are not all the same. Personally, I got a red, itchy pussy from one particular brand of lube that I was trying out for the first time. I never used it again, and I haven't had the symptoms again. So, try using a different brand of lube and see if that changes anything. You could also go to your doctor when you're having symptoms to get a full examination and see what he or she has to say. It sounds like you know a lot about STDs, but it's always better to be safe than sorry.

Gloves

Putting a glove on your hand for rubbing and finger-fucking protects both you and your partner, especially if you have any cuts, scratches, or even torn cuticles, which can provide STDs direct access to your bloodstream. Gloves made of latex are the most popular and widely available, and latex is a good safer sex barrier. If, however, you are allergic or sensitive to latex, there are gloves made of other materials, including nitrile, vinyl, and neoprene. Powdered gloves make getting them on and off easier , but the powder can often irritate people's skin; if your skin feels itchy or turns red and you know you're not allergic to the glove material, find one that's not powdered.

Gloves come in several different sizes, from extra small to extra large, and it's important to find the right size for your hand. A glove that's too small will cut off your circulation and have a greater risk of tearing. One that is too big gives the wearer less sensitivity, and can feel baggy and uncomfortable to the receptive partner. Besides being great for safer sex, gloves can also reassure you—if your nails are long or ragged, if you or your partner are squeamish about the cleanliness of anal penetration, or if you want to smooth out your fingers before they go inside your lover. When you wear a glove, always use plenty of lube to reduce friction and make penetration smoother.

Oral Sex Barriers

To protect you and your partner during oral-anal contact, you can use one of several safer sex barriers. The most popular is a latex dental dam. Originally designed for use by dentists (as the name indicates), dental dams are squares of latex that safer sex practitioners have co-opted for use as oral sex barriers. Because they were not developed with sex in mind, dental dams can be too small and too thick to make them ideal. Several companies—like Glyde, Slicks, Lixx, and Good Vibrations—have improved upon the dental dam, designing larger, thinner dams specifically for oral sex that do the job much better than their traditional counterparts. Hot Dam makes polyurethane dams for those allergic to latex. Some dams come scented or flavored, and most are available at better sex toy stores.

To make your own dam out of a latex or nonlatex glove, you can cut a nonlubricated condom up one side; these tend to be thinner like the Glydes, allowing both partners more feeling and greater sensitivity. You can also transform a latex glove into a dam (see illustration 6): Cut the wrist and the fingers off, leaving the thumb intact, then cut up the side where the pinkie was. Open it up, stick your tongue in the thumb slot, and voilà—it's like a condom for your tongue! This is my favorite kind of dam because it affords both giver and receiver the highest sensitivity. For obvious reasons, it's best to use a glove that isn't powdered or to rinse the powder off before you put your mouth near it. Try putting a dab of lube on the inside and outside of the thumb for even more sensitivity.

Store-bought plastic wrap (brands like Saran Wrap) is not just for leftovers—it also makes a good barrier for rimming. Plastic wrap is less expensive and easier to find than latex dams, which makes it more convenient. Another advantage: it can cover a lot more surface area and no one has to hold the dam in place. Try wrapping your sweetie's privates in plastic—think of it as a homemade thong for safe, hands-free ass licking. You can simply cut it off when you're all done.

Illustration 6: Making a Dental Dam

> > Anal Activities and STD Risks

> > RUBBING: manual external stimulation with fingers, without penetration, without a glove. At risk for genital warts, genital herpes; if skin of fingers or skin of the anus is broken, at risk for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B.

> >
>

> > FINGERING: anal penetration with a finger or fingers without a glove. At risk for genital warts, genital herpes; if skin of fingers or skin of the anus or anal canal is broken, at risk for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, HIV.

> >
>

> > LICKING: analingus or rimming without a barrier. At risk for genital warts, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis A; if open sores on anus or in anal canal, at risk for hepatitis B, hepatitis C, HIV.

> >
>

> > ANAL INTERCOURSE: anal penetration with a penis, without a condom, with or without ejaculation. At risk for genital warts, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, HIV.

> >
>

> > ANAL INTERCOURSE WITH CONDOM: anal penetration with a penis, with a condom, with or without ejaculation. At risk for genital warts, genital herpes, syphilis.

> >
>

> > SHARING SEX TOYS: transferring a sex toy from an infected person's orifice to another person's orifice without putting a condom on it or disinfecting it first. At risk for chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, HIV.

Condoms

If someone is going to stick his dick in your ass, and you are practicing safer sex, he should use a condom. Because of the delicacy of anal and rectal tissue (which may lead to minute tears), semen infected with HIV and other STDs can be transmitted and absorbed easier and more quickly into the bloodstream. Thus, unprotected anal intercourse can be more risky for both partners than unprotected vaginal intercourse. There are dozens of brands and varieties of condoms on the market, and finding the right one for you could mean trying a bunch out until you find one you love. The majority of condoms are made of latex, but people with latex allergies or sensitivities should try alternative materials like polyurethane from brands like Durex Avanti and Trojan Supra (only available with spermicide). Trojan Naturalambs, unique condoms made from lamb intestines, do not prevent STDs.

These days, there are lots of condoms on the market with fancy bells and whistles: ribbed; studded; ridged, for her pleasure, for his pleasure, or both. Condoms with stimulating textures on the inside ("for his pleasure") are totally safe for anal penetration. Condoms with stimulating textures on the outside ("for her pleasure") may cause irritation or minute abrasions to the rectal tissue. Some people say that the texture is so subtle, they don't notice a difference, while others claim that textured condoms are uncomfortable. The newest design on the market is one with a baggier head to increase sensitivity for the head of the penis; these condoms (popular brands include InSpiral and Trojan Twisted) are safe for anal intercourse, but some may find they make insertion more difficult.

Most condoms come prelubricated, but you can also buy nonlubed condoms; either way, you can add your own favorite lube. You should never use a condom lubricated with nonoxynol-9. Nonoxynol-9, which is found in some lubricants and some lubricated condoms, is a chemical proven to kill the HIV virus and STDs in laboratory tests. Although it was once widely recommended that nonoxynol-9 be used for safer sex, we now know that many people are allergic to nonoxynol-9 and it really irritates their vaginas and rectums. Because it is so harsh for the delicate tissue of the ass, research has shown that it's more likely to irritate or traumatize the rectal tissue, which can actually make transmission of HIV faster and easier, providing the virus with an accessible route to the bloodstream. Read condom labels to make sure the lube does not contain nonoxynol-9.

When used correctly, condoms are highly effective in preventing STD transmission; correctly is the key word here (see illustration 7). There are more untrustworthy people than there are untrustworthy condoms. Three important elements will help ensure a condom's effectiveness: fit, putting it on properly, and taking it off properly. Fit is incredibly important not only for the sensitivity of both partners, but also for safety . A condom that fits well is less likely to slip off or to break. Each brand of condoms fits each penis slightly differently . Brands like Exotica Snugger Fit or LifeStyles Snugger Fit offer smaller sizes, and popular larger size brands include Durex XXL, Kimono Maxx, LifeStyles XL, and Trojan Magnum and Magnum XL.

Putting on a condom the right way is very important. First, make sure it's not inside out. If you use a condom with a receptacle tip, gently press the air out of the closed end before putting it on. Air bubbles can rupture condoms. If you use a condom with a plain end, leave about an inch of air-free space at the tip of the condom; semen needs somewhere to go and ejaculation without that space can cause a condom to break. Putting a small amount of lube on the inside tip of the condom will reduce air bubbles and increase sensitivity.

If your partner has ejaculated during penetration, whether he feels his erection has gone down a little, all the way, or not at all, he should hold on to the base of the condom as he withdraws. By not holding on, he runs the risk of coming out without the condom; then he or you have to fish around inside your ass for it, which is both awkward and unsafe, since semen could spill out of the condom. If he feels himself losing his erection during penetration or he withdraws before ejaculation, he should also hold on to the base.

Illustration 7: Putting on a Condom

The Female Condom

Marketed primarily for vaginal intercourse, the Reality Female Condom is a tube of polyurethane closed at one end and open at the other, like a larger version of the male condom. Although some women find them cumbersome, others say it gives them a sense of control and responsibility in the practice of safer sex. The female condom can also be used for anal intercourse, and, in fact, it offers more protection because it lines the anal cavity, covering the penis and the outer area of the anus. Some people also use the female condom for anal-oral contact, although its effectiveness for analingus has not been scientifically tested or proven. You should not use it for anal fisting. The female condom can be slipped into the ass any time before penetration. Before insertion, lubricate the outside of the condom, and make sure that the lubrication is evenly spread by rubbing the sides of the pouch together. To insert it, squeeze the sheath, and, starting with the inner ring, slip it into the anus. Make sure that the inner ring is at the closed end of the pouch. Once it is inside, push it the rest of the way in with your finger, past the sphincter muscles. About an inch of the condom should hang outside the anus, so the outer ring doesn't slip inside during the action.

Illustration 8: Female Condom

During penetration, the condom may move around, either side to side or up and down. This is normal. However, if your partner's penis or dildo is long or thrusts deeply, the condom could slip all the way into the anus. If your partner withdraws completely in between thrusts, she or he could slip back inside your anus—but outside the protection of the condom. If this happens, stop and adjust the condom. Like everything else, using the female condom takes practice and patience. To take the condom out, squeeze and twist the outer ring (to keep fluid inside the pouch) and pull it out slowly and gently. Don't flush the Reality Female Condom in the toilet—throw it away.

Making Toys Safe

Transferring a sex toy from an infected person's orifice directly to another person's orifice puts you at risk for STD transmission. When it comes to making sex toy play safe, you have a few options. If a toy is porous (made of jelly, rubber, or vinyl), you should either designate it as your own, or, if you want to share it, cover it with a condom and change condoms when you change orifices or partners. If a toy is nonporous (made of silicone, acrylic, glass, or metal), you can either cover it with a condom, or you can disinfect it before using it with another orifice or partner.

To disinfect a nonporous toy, clean it with hot water and antibacterial soap, or a diluted 10:1 bleach solution; or, if it's silicone, boil it. Porous toys cannot be disinfected. For more on sex toys, see chapter 8.

Other Safety Precautions

You should never, ever put anything in the vagina that has been in the anus without thoroughly washing and disinfecting it first. Transferring rectal bacteria into the vagina can lead to yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and other ailments that will put a halt to your pussy's health and happiness. Just don't go there. If you or your partner want to use the same finger, cock, or toy in both the vagina and the ass, either use gloves and condoms, and switch them before you switch orifices or wash whatever it is post-pussy and pre-ass. If a toy is porous, like jelly , rubber, or vinyl, then you need to put a condom on it before it goes in a pussy in order for it to be completely safe after it's been in someone's ass.

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Ejaculating in Her Ass

> > Q: My husband and I have been married for six years. Although he has always played with my ass while we were making love, about three weeks ago, he actually put his cock in my ass. We've been doing it ever since, and it's been great! He's rather large, but we do a lot of warm-up. Generally, we do it doggie-style because I enjoy looking in the mirror and seeing him behind me pumping away. Here's my dilemma. Dennis always pulls out when he is about to come. This is very disappointing to me, and I would like to have him continue and shoot his juice into me. Would there be any problem with allowing his sperm to get into me that way? Would a fairly good amount of semen in the rectum do anything bad?

> >
>

> > A: If you and your husband are monogamous, and both of you have tested negative for HIV and the other STDs, then your husband can come in your ass, and it is relatively low risk for both of you. If, however, you don't have current negative test results for all these diseases, then either of you could transmit something to the other person through unprotected anal intercourse. This is true whether he comes inside you or not. You said you are married, but since this is the new millennium, I will not automatically assume that you are monogamous—you or your husband may have sex with multiple partners. If that is the case and for other readers out there who may be nonmonogamous, anal penetration without a condom can put both people (and especially the receptive partner) at risk for contracting STDs. The risks increase for the receptive partner if the insertive partner ejaculates, since semen has a high concentration of HIV and many of the STDs mentioned. Since you described his load as "a fairly good amount of semen," I'll remind you that what goes in must come out, so the semen may dribble out of your ass (along with all the lube you put in there), but a quick trip to the bathroom should take care of that!

Protecting Yourself

Get tested for HIV and STDs regularly.

You're at higher risk if you have unprotected anal sex with your partners.

Use condoms, dental dams, gloves, and lubricants for all anal activities.

Herpes and genital warts may appear not only on but around the genitals, and condoms and dental dams will protect only the area they cover, so partners should limit their activities accordingly during outbreaks.

Safe, slow , and gentle anal sex decreases the chances of trauma to anal/rectal tissue; keep in mind, however, that you may already have minute tears or sores in the rectal lining that you don't know about.

If you and your partner are both HIV-positive, you should still practice safer sex to avoid being exposed to a different strain of the virus or transmitting opportunistic infections.


Input: Write a chapter for a book about anal sex that provides practical advice on lubricants. Discuss the different types of lubricants available, including oil- or vegetable-based, water-based, and silicone-based lubricants. Explain the benefits and drawbacks of each type of lubricant, and provide guidance on which types are best for anal penetration. Address common misconceptions about lubricants, such as the belief that certain lubricants can desensitize the anal area or make anal sex easier. Include tips on how to use lubricants properly, and provide resources for further information on lubricants.

Response:
CHAPTER 7

Lubricants

Before I slide down this particular pole, let me reveal a bias: I am a firm believer that lube makes any sexual activity much more pleasurable. The wetter and slipperier everything is, the better. But lubricant is not just desirable for anal penetration, it's essential. Unlike the vagina, the anal canal and rectum are not self-lubricating . During anal exploration, you might find that the ass feels wet. What you're feeling is a natural mucous secretion and maybe some sweat—but neither provides enough wetness to lubricate the ass for pleasurable penetration. And spit just won't do the trick. If you're using gloves, dams, or condoms, you absolutely need lube because unlubricated latex and latex alternatives are more likely to break without lube. Whether or not you're using safer sex barriers, you want to reduce the friction to make penetration comfortable. Lube makes penetration smoother and easier for both partners, reducing the chance of discomfort or pain. The better penetration feels, the easier it is for both of you to relax and enjoy the experience. Lube also makes long anal play sessions possible. No matter how small or large the finger, cock, or toy, you need lube.

There are many different varieties of lubricants on the market, with the widest selections at sex toy shops and websites. Many of these places carry small sample sizes or a sampler pack, which is ideal; it's best to experiment with different brands to see what's right for you.

Oil- or Vegetable-Based Lube

It's no secret that some people look no further than their kitchen or bathroom to find a lube. People write to me all the time and tell me that they use common household items—like olive oil, baby oil, Crisco, Vaseline, or lotion—as lube. They weren't made for bedroom activities so they definitely don't work as well as the many lubricants on the market which are formulated, tested, and designed specifically for sex. There are lubricants sold that have similar properties, brands like Boy Butter, Elbow Grease, and ID Cream. These lubes are slick and greasy, often with a creamy consistency reminiscent of Crisco. They are great for male masturbation, and although they are marketed for anal sex (especially toward the gay male consumer), the problem with them is the same as with household products: they are oil based or vegetable based. This group of lubricants breaks down latex condoms, dams, and gloves, so you should use them with latex alternatives like vinyl or nitrile. They often stain sheets, clothing, and towels, and are generally hard to clean up. In addition to being incompatible with latex, oil- and vegetable-based lubes can wreak havoc on a woman's pussy. Even when you're headed for her ass, and you are being diligent about ass to pussy cross-contamination, sometimes a little lube finds its way into her front door. In this case, that lube cannot be rinsed out, is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria, and will most likely cause an infection of some kind. For all these reasons, I do not recommend oil or vegetable-based lubes for anal play .

Desensitizing Lube

With popular brand names like Anal Ease, Anal-Eze, and Tushy Tamer, "desensitizing" lubes promise to make anal sex easier and more comfortable. Don't believe the hype! These lubes contain benzocaine (or a similar ingredient), a topical anesthetic that numbs your anus and rectum. It's the same ingredient in "delay" or "prolong" creams to help men maintain an erection longer. I absolutely do not recommend using these products or others like them, ever. Because they have the effect of numbing your anal area, you literally cannot feel your ass and you are in danger of hurting yourself. Plus, some people are allergic to benzocaine.

Anal sex should never, ever be painful. If it hurts, stop. Pain is your body's way of telling you that whatever you're doing isn't working. You should always listen to your body. Using desensitizing lubes can lead people to go further than they normally would or take something bigger in their ass than they should. The result is a sore ass, possible tearing and damage to the delicate lining of the anal canal and rectum, and pain after the fact that isn't exactly going to make you want to rush right out and try anal sex again. Plus, on the off chance that the anal penetration is pleasurable, you won't be able to feel that either. A sticker on one of the bottles says it all: Numbs your most sensitive parts. Who wants that? They are a bad idea all the way around. Keep reading to learn about the many water-based and silicone lubricants that are great for anal penetration.

Water-Based Lube

Water-based lubes are nonirritating, nonstaining, odorless, and easy to wash off toys and bodies. They either have no taste or a faint taste. Thin, liquidy lubes are very popular for vaginal penetration because they have a similar consistency to natural vaginal secretions. Popular brands include Aqua Lube, Astroglide, K-Y Liquid, Probe Silky Light, and Wet Light. While these slick lubes can be somewhat effective for anal penetration, and will definitely do the job in a pinch, thicker water-based lubes are much better.

Thick water-based lubes have the same properties and advantages as their thinner counterparts, the only difference is in their consistency; they tend to feel more like hair gel or jelly. Many people like to use these thicker lubes for anal play because they provide extensive lubrication and tend to dry up less quickly than watery varieties. If they do dry up, add a little water or saliva to revive their powers. Their texture also means that they will coat and protect the delicate, sensitive lining of the anal canal and rectum. All water-based lubes are compatible with latex and nonlatex barriers as well as all sex toy materials.

Many people reach right for that tube of K-Y Jelly since it's one of the most recognizable and readily available brands. K-Y Jelly was designed for medical exams, which last only a few minutes, not for all-night sexcapades. 1 There are better thick lubricants out there with more staying power, including Astroglide Gel, Elbow Grease (Water-Based Formula), Embrace, ID Glide, K-Y Brand UltraGel, and Wet.

One unique lube which anal fans rave about is J-Lube. Originally designed as a veterinary obstetrics product for examining farm animals, vets use J-Lube to stick their hands up a cow to see if she's pregnant. It comes in a powdered form, which you mix with water, so you can control the consistency. Mixed with water it feels more like slime than liquid (and indeed special-effects designers often use it for its slimy properties); it coats your hand, glove, or toy in a unique way that makes it great for anal penetration, especially play with large toys or anal fisting. There is also a premixed formula (called J-Gel or Bear Lube) which is harder to find. Clean up with a little salt, since trying to wash it off with water will only make more lube!

Many women find that their vaginas can be sensitive or allergic to the most popular ingredient in water-based lube, the one that helps it stay wet: glycerin. Anecdotally, there seem to be more reactions to lubes with glycerin with vaginal penetration than anal penetration. If you or your partner is sensitive or allergic to glycerin, you may want to try a lube with vegetable glycerin (which discourages yeast growth) like O'My or Probe Thick and Rich or a glycerin-free lube. Because glycerin-free lubes dry up quicker than lubes that contain glycerin, they may be less ideal for anal play. Popular brands like HydraSmooth, Liquid Silk, and Sensual Power may be too thin and liquidy to do the job, so try thicker brands like Maximus, Sensua Organics, or Slippery Stuff Gel. Flavored lubes are also safe for anal penetration.

> > Good Anal Lubes

> > WATER-BASED: Astroglide Gel, Elbow Grease (Water-Based Formula), Embrace, ID Glide, J-Lube, K-Y Brand UltraGel, O'My, Probe Thick and Rich, Wet

> >
>

> > WATER-BASED & GLYCERIN-FREE: Maximus, Sensua Organics, Slippery Stuff Gel

> >
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> > SILICONE: Eros Gel, Eros Power Cream, ID Millennium, Wet Platinum

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: When Lube Comes Back Out

> > Q: I'm a heterosexual male. After about three years or so of trying, I've got my partner into anal sex. First, I worked her up into accepting two fingers, then I worked her up to my cock. As suggested I used lots of lube, the thick stuff; I also ejaculated in her ass. Later that day she complained of having really loose stool and a watery discharge. Could this be from her body expelling an abundance of come or using too much lube? I love ass play but I don't like the idea of wrecking someone's plumbing for the day. What's the best way of lubing someone without overdoing it?

> >
>

> > A: Many people experience runny or loose bowel movements after extended anal play, so your girlfriend's experience is a common one. Unfortunately, what goes in must come out, and while some of the water-based lube will dry up and some will be absorbed into the body, the rest has to get flushed out of the rectum the old-fashioned way. Plus, most water-based lubes contain some form of glycerin (which helps lube stay wet), and glycerin is used in suppository form for constipation, so—well, you get the idea. You may want to try a glycerin-free lube, like Maximus or Slippery Stuff for example, or one with glycerin low on the list of ingredients. Another alternative is to experiment with silicone lubes. Silicone stays wet much longer, and so you need a fraction of the amount you'd use in a water-based lube for penetration. Eros makes a silicone gel version which I definitely recommend.

The newest lubes on the market are the warming lubes, water-based lubes that create a warming sensation when you use them. Popular brands include Astroglide Warming Liquid, ID Sensation, K-Y Warming Liquid and K-Y Warming UltraGel, Wet Warming Lubricant, and Sliquid Sizzle (a glycerin-free warming lube). Thus far, reports have been mixed: some people describe the effect as too subtle to be anything worth raving about. Others find the feeling too intense, almost like mild burning, which doesn't sound pleasant. Most warming lubes contain either honey or menthol to create the warming effect along with assorted chemical ingredients, all of which can irritate the sensitive tissue of both the front and back doors. While these are safe to use, keep in mind that everyone will react differently to the ingredients and to the effect. I recommend trying a sample to see if these lubes are right for you.

Silicone Lube

Most silicone lubes are slick and thin, which may not be ideal for anal penetration; some people really like the slick texture, while others feel too much friction, which can be uncomfortable. Eros makes two thicker versions—Eros Gel and Power Cream—that are ideal for silicone and anal fans. While silicone lube does not get absorbed into the genital tissue the way water-based lube does, some women find that it irritates their delicate parts. Silicone can be harder to clean up since it is not water soluble, and not all soaps will dissolve it (I recommend using warm water and a liquid soap). Perhaps the biggest drawback is that they are incompatible with silicone sex toys. Silicone lube bonds to a silicone toy and ruins it forever. So, if you're a fan of both and want to use them together, make sure you cover all silicone toys with a condom first.

How to Use Lube

The rule of thumb when it comes to lube is "on, not in." In other words, you should pour lube onto whatever is going to be doing the penetration—a finger, a toy, a penis—rather than directly into any orifice. When it comes to anal penetration, there's no such thing as too much lube, and you should re-lube frequently. Keep a box of baby wipes nearby to control drips and for easy cleanup.

If you find that you have trouble getting the ass well-lubricated or you need extra lube for penetration with something of size, there are items on the market like the Lube Shooter and the Astroglide Shooter that solve this problem. The Lube Shooter is a disposable hard plastic syringe with a flared base that you fill with your desired lube (a process that can be a little messy). Insert the body of the syringe in the ass, push the plunger, and you've got lube right where you want it! Also disposable and easy to use, the Astroglide Shooter is a prefilled flexible rubber tube of lube with a long neck that can be inserted into the anal canal (after removing the tip, of course). Squeeze the tube, and lube goes into the ass. You can also fill up a plastic irrigation syringe (found at drugstores) or a stainless steel enema syringe (available at specialty stores) for the same purpose. (For more on these, see chapter 15 and the Resource Guide).

> > ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: Fucking a Fluid-Filled Bottom

> > Q: For the last few months, my lover had been hankering to try anal sex. After reading your advice, buying lots of lube, and experimenting with a host of toys, we finally managed to get his gorgeous cock all the way in my bottom and he fucked me—and I had a fantastic orgasm! Since he'd never had anal sex before, as you can imagine, he is now a very happy bunny and wants more! He currently has a fantasy about filling my bottom with lots of creamy liquid, and then fucking me like that. We've seen stuff like this in porn movies, but I'm curious about how they do it and how we should do it. What liquid do we use and how much would be safe? I've been giving myself brief enemas before our anal play so I'm kind of used to stuff being there. I'm not sure how long it'd stay there and if there are any safety concerns I should be aware of. Any suggestions?

> >
>

> > A: Thanks for sharing your fun fantasy with me and your fellow readers. In general, I am a purist about what people should put in their asses: I endorse only plain water, lube, ejaculate, fingers, cocks, tongues, and toys. I discourage exotic enema ingredients, ice cream sundae toppings, and other equally wacky substances. But, in the case of your sweetheart's idea, you're in luck. He can fill your ass with lube! There are several great water-based lubes on the market—including Hydra-Smooth, Sensual Power, and Liquid Silk—that have creamy consistencies. In fact, they have a look and feel that's a lot like a man's come (which I think may be what your guy is going for). Plus, they are lubricants, designed for penetration, and therefore totally safe! If he wants to really fill you up, you may want to buy a disposable plastic irrigation syringe (available at medical supply stores and some drugstores), which he can fill with lube, and "shoot" up your ass. If he succeeds in filling your ass, remember, what goes in must come out. You may be a little runny for a day, as all that lube works its way out of your ass, so keep that in mind; I'd avoid, say, silk pants for a few days.

You've got a lot of choices when it comes to lubes. As I said in the previous chapter, I do not recommend lubes that contain nonoxynol-9, which can aggravate both vaginal and anal tissue and increase the chances of STD transmission. Lube should feel good inside you; if your pussy or ass feels irritated or itchy or it burns or stings, you may be having a reaction to one or more ingredients in the lube you're using. The bottom line is: every lube formula is slightly different, so read the ingredients on the label carefully.

NOTE

1 From the K-Y site: "In controlled performance testing K-Y® Brand ULTRAGEL™ and K-Y® Brand Liquid Personal Lubricant are far superior lubricants, since they are smoother and last longer than K-Y® Brand Jelly." http://www.k-y.com/faq/index.jsp#Anchor5, May 22, 2005.