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lunch. Bread and water. More afternoon milk. For dinner,
ุงู„ุบุฏุงุก ุงู„ุฎุจุฒ ูˆุงู„ู…ุงุก ู…ูˆุฑ ุงู„ุนุตุฑ ุญู„ูŠุจ
bread
ูˆุงู„ุนุดุงุก ุงู„ุฎุจุฒ
and water. My poha is frozen on the bed.
ูˆุงู„ู…ุงุก ูุงุด ุทุงุญู„ูŠ ุงู„ุจูˆู‡ุง ุชุฌุจุฏ ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุณุฑูŠุฑ
I'm lying on the floor and the pattern is there. In
ุงู†ุง ุฒุงุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุงุฑุถ ูˆุงู„ุจุงุชุฑูˆู† ุฑุง ูƒุงูŠู† ููŠ
the tent, I wanted to ask my family a lot of questions,
ุงู„ุฎูŠู…ู‡ ูƒู†ุช ุจุงุบูŠ ู†ุณูˆู„ ุจูˆู‡ุงู„ูŠ ุจุฒุงู ุงู„ุงุณุฆู„ู‡
but it had not been 5 minutes and I started to hear
ูˆูƒู† ู…ุง ุฏุงุฒุช ุญ 5ุฏู‚ุงุฆู‚ ูˆุจุฏูŠุช ูƒู†ุณู…ุน
Tus Kushi snoring, and I thought about my
ุดุฎูŠุฑ ุชูˆุณ ูƒูˆุดูŠ ูˆุชููƒุฑุช
mother, my wife, my daughter, and my son who is still in
ูู…ุชูŠ ูˆู…ุฑุงุชูŠ ูˆุจู†ุชูŠ ูˆู„ุง ูˆู„ุฏูŠ ุงู„ู„ูŠ ู…ุงุฒุงู„ ููŠ
the stomach, they would be vomiting on my friend since I was not living.
ูƒุฑุดู‡ ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ู…ุจุฑุฒูŠู† ุนู„ู‰ ูˆุฏูŠ ุญูŠุช ู…ุง ุนูŠุด
Why did I
ู„ูŠู‡
arrive? I mean, the gurgling of grief descended on me.
ูˆุตู„ุช ูŠุนู†ูŠ ุบุฑุบุฑ ุงู„ุบู…ู‡ ู‡ุจุทุช ุนู„ูŠ
How could we deliver to them what saw that I had arrived fine?
ูƒูŠูุงุด ุบุงุฏูŠ ู†ูˆุตู„ ู„ู‡ู… ุงู„ู„ูŠ ุฑุงู†ูŠ ูˆุตู„ุช ุจุฎูŠุฑ
And I saw that I was relieved.
ูˆุฑุงู†ูŠ ุฑุงู†ูŠ ู…ุฑุชุงุญ
I thought about Hakim, may God know that he is alive. He is
ุงู†ุง ุชููƒุฑุช ุญูƒูŠู… ุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ู‡ ุญู‰ ู‡ูˆ ุดู†ูˆ ูƒูŠุฏูŠุฑ
probably going to be a servant. You will have the barn in
ุฏุงุจุง ุบุงู„ุจุง ุบุงุฏูŠ ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฎุฏุงู… ููŠุฏูŠูƒ ุงู„ุฒุฑูŠุจู‡
which we left him. His condition will be. How do
ุงู„ู„ูŠ ุฎู„ูŠู†ุงู‡ ููŠู‡ุง ุญุงู„ุชู‡ ุบุชูƒูˆู† ูƒูŠู ุงู„ู„ูŠ
I
ุงู†ุง
know who will be able to be patient with this calamity when he is
ููŠู‡ุง ู†ุนุฑู ูƒูŠ ุบ ูŠุฏูŠุฑ ูŠุตุจุฑ ู„ู‡ุฐ ุงู„ู…ุตูŠุจู‡ ูˆู‡ูˆ
still young and does not have a family with whom he has had
ู…ุงุฒุงู„ ุตุบูŠุฑ ู…ุง ูƒุงู†ุด ู…ู† ูุงู…ูŠู„ุง ุญุงุธู‚ู‡ ุจุง
servants in Dubai for years? Many times, I got this
ูƒุงู† ุฎุฏุงู… ููŠ ุฏุจูŠ ุฏูŠ ุณู†ูŠู† ูƒุซูŠุฑู‡ ุบูŠุฑ ุฌุงุช ู‡ุฐ
visa to Saudi Arabia on the way, but
ุงู„ููŠุฒู‡ ู„ู„ุณุนูˆุฏูŠู‡ ููŠ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ ุงู…ุง ุจุงู‡ ูƒุงู†
my family was in
ุนูˆุงู„ูŠ ุฏูŠุงู„
Dubai. He told me, โ€œYou got a visa to
ุฏุจูŠ ู‚ุงู„ู„ูŠ ุจุงู‡ ุฌุงุชูƒ ููŠุฒุง
Saudi Arabia. Go well. Itโ€™s better for you. Whatโ€™s left is wasted in
ู„ู„ุณุนูˆุฏูŠู‡ ุณูŠุฑ ุชู…ุง ุงุญุณู† ู„ูƒ ู…ุง ุชุจู‚ู‰ ุชุถูŠุน ููŠ
your youth in Kerala. Learn the language. Completely, and more than two
ุดุจุงุจูƒ ููŠ ูƒูŠุฑุงู„ุง ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบู‡ ุชู…ุง ูˆู…ู† ู…ูˆุฑ
years ago, we will bring you here to
ุนุงู…ูŠู† ูˆู„ุง ู‚ุจู„ ูƒุงุน ู†ุฌูŠุจูƒ ุนู†ุฏูŠ ู„ู‡ู†ุง
Dubai. How can I bear this tough life?โ€
ู„ุฏุจูŠ ูƒ ุบุงุฏูŠ ูŠุณุชุญู…ู„ ู‡ุฐ ุงู„ุนูŠุดู‡ ุงู„ู…ู‚ูˆ ุงู†ุง
He's okay. I was like Tamar hitting the
ู‡ูˆ ู…ุงุดูŠ ุจุญุงู„ูŠ ุงู†ุง ูƒู†ุช ูƒุถุฑุจ ุชู…ุงุฑ ูƒู†ุจุฏ
sandbox in the valley. But he was still short
ุงู„ุฑู…ู„ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ูˆุงุฏ ูˆู„ูƒู† ู‡ูˆ ูƒุงู† ูƒูŠุจู‚ู‰ ู‚ุตุงุฑ
with the people of the road. He kept his mouth shut.
ู…ุน ูˆู„ุงุฏ ุงู„ุฏุฑุจ ู…ุฏูˆ ูŠู†
God's book was his duty and salvation. God strengthens
ูˆู‚ูŠุชู‡ ูƒุชุงุจ ุงู„ู„ู‡ ูƒุชุตุฑู ูˆุฎู„ุงุต ุงู„ู„ู‡ ูŠู‚ูˆูŠู†ุง
me and Hakim so that we can get you out of this calamity in
ุงู†ุง ูˆุญูƒูŠู… ุจุงุด ู†ุณู„ูƒู… ู…ู† ู‡ุฐ ุงู„ู…ุตูŠุจู‡ ุนู„ู‰
good health. I was sleepy this night. I pulled the bag with me, and I closed
ุฎูŠุฑ ู†ุนุณ ู‡ุฐ ุงู„ู„ูŠู„ู‡ ุดุฏ ู…ุนูŠุง ุงู„ุฒูƒูŠุฑู‡ ูˆุบู…ุถุช
my eyes, unable to do
ุนูŠู†ูŠ
anything. Maybe I'll come back to you. I can't wait to see
ู…ุนุทู„ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุญูŠุฌ ุฏุงุชูŠ ู…ุง ู…ูˆูุงุด ุนู„ู‰
tomorrow's morning. It's another desert day. I woke up with two buckets
ู…ุญุดุฑู‡ ุงู„ุบุฏ ุตุจุญู†ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู†ู‡ุงุฑ ุตุญุฑุงูˆูŠ ุงุฎุฑ ูู‚ุช
of service. Yesterday, I
ุนุธู…ูŠ ู…ุฏูƒ ุฏูƒูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฎุฏู…ู‡ ุฏ ุงู„ุจุงุฑุญ ูˆุช ูุงุด
was just getting out of the sand from the hottest valley in the
ูƒู†ุช ูƒู†ุฎุฑุฌ ุงู„ุฑู…ู„ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ูˆุงุฏ ุงู„ู‡ุงุฑ ูƒุงู…ู„ ููŠ
country. I don't feel any more tired
ุงู„ุจู„ุงุฏ ู…ุงุญุณ
than this. I couldn't shower, no, and
ุงู„ุนูŠุง ุฒูŠุฏ ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุง ูƒูŠู† ู„ุง ุฏูˆุด ู„ุง ูˆุงู„ูˆ
this is what made me sick all day. I sweltered under the
ูˆู‡ุฐ ุงู„ู‚ุถูŠู‡ ู…ุฑุถู†ูŠ ู†ู‡ุงุฑ ูƒุงู…ู„ ุฏูˆุฒุช ุชุญุช
scorching sun. I stayed floating in
ุงู„ุดู…ุณ ุญุงุฑู‚ู‡ ูˆูุงุด ุชูƒูŠุช ุจู‚ูŠุช ุนุงูŠู… ููŠ
my flocks, I walked among the sheep, I scurried and shook on my leg
ูุฑู‚ูŠ ุชู…ุดูŠุช ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุบู†ู… ุชุฑู„ุช ูˆู‡ุฒูŠุช ููˆู‚ ุฏุงุชูŠ
from their urine, my bed was wet and my ankle was sticking
ุญู‚ูŠ ู…ู† ุจูˆู„ู‡ุง ูˆุฑูˆุช ุจูŠุทุงู†ูŠ ูˆุฎุงุถ ูŠุชู„ุตู‚
with sweat, and the young woman who was wearing every
ุจุงู„ุนุฑู‚ ูˆุงู„ุดุงุจู‡ ุงู„ู„ูŠ ู„ุงุจุณ
time I was wearing my sandals,
ูƒู„ู…ุง ุตุจุงุทูŠ
I lost his smell and it would reach you, and you would be fat on me. I
ุญูŠุฏุช ุฑูŠุญุชู‡ ุบ ุชูˆุตู„ูƒู… ูˆุฎุง ุชูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุจุฏูŠู† ุนู„ูŠ
came to a place from the ground, put the hero video on the
ุฌูŠุช ููŠ ู†ูˆุถ ู…ู† ุจู„ุงุต ุญุท ุงู„ุจุทู„ ููŠุฏูŠ ูˆูŠุฑ
sheepโ€™s finger, so we can go milking, something
ุจุตุจุน ุงู„ุบู†ู… ุจุงุด ู†ู…ุดูŠ ู†ุญู„ุจ ุดูŠ
I donโ€™t like. I didn't know how to manage the service from
ู…ุนูŠุฒู‡ ุงู†ุง ู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ุนุงุฑู ูƒ ู†ุฏูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฎุฏู…ู‡ ู…ู†
your side. I entered a pen, approached one of the goats, smelled of
ุฌู…ูƒ ุฏุฎู„ุช ุฒุฑูŠุจู‡ ู‚ุฑุจุช ู…ู† ูˆุงุญุฏ ุงู„ู…ุนุฒู‡ ุฑูŠุญุช
its murmurs, and put someone's drop of water in it, and I kicked the toric on it. The
ู…ูˆุฑุงู‡ุง ูˆุญุทูŠุช ุณูŠู„ู‡ ุญุฏุง ุงู„ุถุน
only one that did not come out was the milk,
ุฏูŠุงู„ู‡ุง ูˆุฑูƒุช ุนู„ูŠู‡ ุชูˆุฑูŠูƒ ูˆุญุฏู‡ ู…ุงุฎุฑุฌ ุงู„ุญู„ูŠุจ
and all of me and me fell on the ground and patted like a run, picking up the
ูˆูƒู„ู†ูŠ ุงู†ุง ูˆุทุญุชูŠ ููŠ ุงู„ุงุฑุถ ูˆุฑุจุช ูƒุฌุฑูŠ ุฌุน
pieces in the pen and making a mess. I was on the ground, and
ุงู„ู‚ุทุน ููŠ ุงู„ุฒุฑูŠุจู‡ ูˆู†ุงุท ุงู„ููˆุถู‡
one of the goats knocked me down, kicking me in the back,
ุงู†ุง ุทุงูŠุญ ุงู„ุงุฑุถ ุชุฎุจุทู†ูŠ ูˆุงุญุฏ ุงู„ู…ุนุฒู‡ ุจุฑูุณ
making me feel like it was
ู„ุธู‡ุฑ ุฎู„ุงุชู†ูŠ
Kanlu. I tried on my head to scratch the ground with a
ูƒุงู†ู„ูˆ ุญุงูˆู„ุช ุนู„ู‰ ุฑุงุณูŠ ุชุชู‚ุฑ ุงู„ุงุฑุถ ู…ุนุฒ
standing goat. Its milk came close
ูˆุงู‚ูู‡ ู‚ุฑุจุช
to
ุฏูŠุงู„ู‡ุง ู…ู†
Bindi Dallah, and it is the same thing.
ุจูŠู†ุฏูŠ ุฏุงู„ู‡ ูˆู‡ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุดูŠ
May we milk the goats of Kazri. I
ุฑุจ ู†ุญู„ุจ ู…ุนุฒ
gathered the stop and died, and the condor of the
ูƒุฒุฑูŠ ุฌู…ุนุช ุงู„ูˆู‚ูู‡ ูˆุชุช ูˆุจู‚ูŠุช ูƒู†ุฏูˆุฑ
goats remained, each one shouldering me with its sister,
ุงู„ู…ุนุฒ ูƒู„ ูˆุญุฏู‡ ูƒุชูู†ูŠ ู„ุนู†ุฏ ุงุฎุชู‡ุง
sucking an hour. They brought the patrons to see how much
ู…ุต ุณุงุนู‡ ุฌุจูˆ ุงู„ุจุงุทุฑูˆู† ูŠุดูˆููˆุง ุดุญุงู„ ู…ู† ุงุช
milk there was in that
ุงู„ุญู„ูŠุจ ููŠ ุฐุงูƒ
pail. They found me as a king of the goats, and I did not milk them from
ุงู„ุณุทู„ ู„ู‚ูˆู†ูŠ ูƒู†ู‚ ูƒุฌุฑ ู…ูˆุฑ ุงู„ู…ุนูŠุฒ ูˆู…ุง ุญู„ุจุช
them. A
ู…ู†ู‡ู… ุญ
drop of taron has increased, and it is
ู‚ุทุฑู‡ ุงู„ุทุฑูˆู† ุฒุงุฏ ูุญุงู„ู‡ ู„ุฎูŠู…ู‡ ู…ูˆุฑ ู…ุง ุดุจุน
in the
ููŠ
tent of a moor who is not satisfied with the span of the boy. Take the bucket from my hand. Show me
ุณุจุงู† ุงู„ุจูˆู‡ูŠ ุฎุฐูŠู‡ ุงู„ุณุทู„ ู…ู† ุงูŠุฏูŠ ูˆุฑุงู†ูŠ
how it is like milk.
ูƒูŠูุงุด ูƒุญู„ุจ
The goat has never come to you. The goat comes from the roof in
ุงู„ู…ุนูŠุฒ ู…ุง ุนู…ุฑูƒ ุชุฌูŠ ุงู„ู…ุนุฒู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ู„ูˆุฑ ู…ู†
front. You do not start swearing in it. It is direct. You start measuring in it. You are
ุงู„ู‚ุฏุงู… ู…ุง ุชุจุฏุง ุชุญู„ู ููŠู‡ุง ุฏูŠุฑูŠูƒุช ุชุจุฏุง
touching something, and I am small.
ุชู‚ูŠุณ ููŠู‡ุง ุจุญุงู„ ูƒ ุชู„ู…ุณ ู„ุดูŠ ูˆู„ูŠ ุตุบูŠุฑ
He cut her a little on the face and the buttocks and hit her on the back. Her
ู‚ุตู‡ุง ุจุดูˆูŠู‡ ุนู„ู‰ ูˆุฌู‡ู‡ุง ูˆู†ูŠู‡ุง ูˆุถุฑุจ ู„ูŠู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰
shoulder and back feel a little bit
ูƒุชูู‡ุง ูˆุธู‡ุฑู‡ุง
after smelling beside her and touching her
ุจุดูˆูŠู‡ ู…ู† ุจุนุฏ ูƒุฑูŠุญ ุฌู†ุจู‡ุง ูˆุชู„ู…ุณ ู„ูŠู‡ุง ููŠ
stomach, her stomach hurts, and behind her, like a tread on
ูƒุฑุดู‡ ุฌูˆุฌ ุญู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฑุงุช ูˆู… ูˆุฑุงู‡ุง ูƒุฏูˆุฒ ู„ู„ุฏุฑ
her throat, and she measures what has shaken, as if she is not a
ุฏูŠุงู„ู‡ุง
fool, in a state of regret, leave her until she speaks and starts to leave the
ุจุญุงู„ ุจู†ุงุฏู… ุฎู„ูŠู‡ุง ุญุชู‰ ุชูƒุงู„ู… ูˆุชุจุฏุง ุชูˆุฑูƒ
boss, put it in a way that
ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑูŠุณ ุฏูŠุงู„ ุงู„ุถุน ุจุงู„ุดูƒู„ ุงู„ู„ูŠ
does not hurt, you have never milked with one hand and pulled the whip with
ู…ุงูŠุถุฑุด ู…ุง ุนู…ุฑูƒ ุชุญู„ุจ ุจุงูŠุฏ ูˆุชุดุฏ ุงู„ุณุท ุจุงุฏ
the other,
ุงู„ุงุฎุฑ
put the pail down. There is a valley like a Turk in the land, and there is another valley that you can touch
ุญุท ุงู„ุณุทู„ ููŠ ุงู„ุงุฑุถ ูˆุงุฏ ูƒ ุชูˆุฑูƒ ูˆุฎุฑ ูƒ ุชู„ู…ุณ
the goat with, and it would be like a bird, talking to the urinary chambers. In
ุจู‡ุง ุงู„ู…ุนุฒู‡ ูˆุฎ ุชูƒูˆู† ูƒุทูŠุฑ ูƒุงู„ู… ู‡
Aleppo, a number of us gave me the bucket and
ุงู„ุจูˆุงู„ูŠ ูุด ุญู„ุจ ุนุฏุฏ ู…ู†ู†ุง ุนุทุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ุณุทู„
I imitated what he was
ูˆู‚ู„ุฏุช ุดู†ูˆ ูƒุงู†
doing. I did not notice the defects of imitation, but
ูƒูŠุฏูŠุฑ ูุนูŠ ู…ุง ุฎุทุด ุนูŠูˆุจ ุงู„ุชู‚ู„ูŠุฏ ูˆู„ูƒู†
I tried with the first drop of milk that came out of the shed.
ุญุงูˆู„ุช ู…ุน ุงูˆู„ ู‚ุทุฑู‡ ุงู„ุญู„ูŠุจ ุฎุฑุฌุชู‡ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ุถ
The goat was happy with the condition. I asked the saddlebag, and I wish
ุงู„ู…ุนุฒู‡ ูุฑุญุช ุจุญุงู„ ุณุงู„ูŠุช ุงู„ุณุทุงุฌ ูˆู„ูŠุช ุฏุง
we could get a job in it. A
ู‚ุงุฏุฑ ู†ุชูˆุธู ููŠ ุฎุฏู…ู‡
decorated servant milked half of that bucket and got out of the vase
ู…ุฒูŠุงู†ู‡ ุญู„ุจุช ู†ุต ุฐุงูƒ ุงู„ุณุทู„ ูˆุฎุฑุฌุช ู…ู† ูุงุฒ
before the morning sweat in you with a bad taste, Tamar,
ู‚ุจู„ ุนุฑู‚ ููŠูƒ ุงู„ุตุจุงุญ ุจ ุถุงุฑ ุชู…ุงุฑ
Kahlo Daz, another day without food, anything new. In
ูƒุญู„ูˆ ุฏุงุฒ ู†ู‡ุงุฑ ุงุฎุฑ ุจู„ุง ุญ ุดูŠ ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ู
the days that I have been here, the boy has taught me
ุงู„ุงูŠุงู…ุงุช ุงู„ู„ูŠ ุฏูˆุฒุช ู‡ู†ุง ุนู„ู…ู†ูŠ ุงู„ุจูˆุงู„ูŠ
how to let the sheep go, how to control the flock
ูƒูŠูุงุด ู†ุณุฑุญ ุงู„ุบู†ู… ูƒูŠูุงุด ู†ุชุญูƒู… ููŠ ุงู„ู‚ุทูŠุน
from the side, walking in front, how to fight with his stick that is
ู…ู† ุงู„ุฌู†ุจ ู…ุงุดูŠ ุงู„ู‚ุฏุงู… ูƒูŠูุงุด ู†ูƒุชูŠ ุจุนุตุงูŠู‡
fleeing from us, and fate has left me behind me. Barley,
ุงู„ู‡ุงุฑุจู‡ ู…ู†ู†ุง ูˆุฑุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ู‚ุฏุฑ ุฏูŠุงู„ ุงู„ุดุนูŠุฑ
fodder, and hay that had been harvested were thrown into the fire in every barn.
ูˆุงู„ุนู„ู ูˆุงู„ุชุจู† ุงู„ู„ูŠ ุฎุต ุชุญุท ููŠ ูƒู„ ุฒุฑูŠุจู‡ ููŠ