Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
500	2	Rick	No, no, no, I was just playing dead. Good news, though, Morty. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon.
501	2	Morty	What?
502	2	Rick	It's a dream, Morty. We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the two of us inside snuffles' dream.
503	2	Morty	But I-it's been like a whole year!
504	2	Rick	It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like "Inception," Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie.
505	2	Morty	Aw, man. I really liked this life. Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants.
506	2	Rick	No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty. You're sleeping in your crap right now. Out of all the things that happened to you, that was the only real thing that, you know, is that you crapped your pants. I mean, it's a mess out there. I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth.
507	2	Morty	Aw, man, geez! Seriously?
508	2	Rick	Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty. Here, here take these, Morty. Take these.
509	2	Morty	Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?
510	2	Rick	Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down.
511	2	Morty	What?!
512	2	Rick	It's necessary for the plan, Morty. Don't even trip, dawg.
513	2	Dr. Dog	It's pretty bad, emperor snowball. We're gonna need to do another operation.
514	2	Snuffles	Anything. Anything for my precious Morty.
515	2	Accountant Dog	Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that these medical expenses are putting you in serious financial jeopardy. You could lose your kingdom.
516	2	Snuffles	To hell with my kingdom, bean counter. I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness.
517	2	Accountant Dog	Do you think they would have done this for us?
518	2	Snuffles	We are not them! We are not them. Snuffles wakes up from the dream Assemble the troops. I've made a decision.
519	2	Snuffles	Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory.
520	2	Morty	I'm gonna miss you, snowball.
521	2	Snuffles	You can call me snuffles, Morty, and I'm going to miss you, too, very much.
522	2	Beth	Jerry?
523	2	Jerry	I'm sorry. It's just like the end of "Old Yeller.
524	2	Beth	Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it.
525	2	Morty	Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick.
526	2	Rick	I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven.
527	2	Morty	You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick.
528	2	Rick	What do you know, Morty? What do you know?
529	2	Scary Glenn	Hi, guys. I'm your new teacher for scary class. My name is scary Mr. Johnson. Uh, actually, you know what? That's my dad's name, so why don't you just call me scary Glenn, yeah? So, anyway, I understand your previous teacher was having you work on fundamentals of fear. Which is what is that? You know? So, uh, here here's what I say you can't learn anything until you learn how to chill.
530	2	Rick	Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch. Terry and Rick are getting stoned
531	3	Jerry	singing Last King Christmas last arrived!
532	3	Jerry	singing In the Christmas Christmas! stops singing and smells the ham Mmm... Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham.
533	3	Jerry	Um, Merry Christmas? puts his hands on his hips Helloooo? My parents are coming over for the first time in years! Can we stow the gadgets and look alive?
534	3	Beth	Alive? For your parents?
535	3	Jerry	Good one.
536	3	Beth	Hey man!
537	3	Jerry	You 'hey man'! This holiday is about humanity.
538	3	Morty	not looking up from his tablet You know, I thought it was about being born half-God or something.
539	3	Jerry	Okay, whatever. All electronic items are going in the stocking. Now.
540	3	Morty	hands over his tablet Ohhhh...
541	3	Summer	Dad, I'm not giving you my phone.
542	3	Jerry	Put it in the stocking, Summer, or I'm joining Facebook.
543	3	Rick	offscreen Ho ho ho, everybody.
544	3	Jerry	More like whoa whoa whoa. What is this? My parents are coming!
545	3	Rick	Calm down Jerry, this is Ruben, an old friend.
546	3	Ruben	Pearl Harbor.
547	3	Rick	I check in on him once a year and give him a little burp medical burp evaluation.
548	3	Beth	Aw, Dad... That is so sweet.
549	3	Jerry	squinting suspiciously Yeah, it is... I don't get it.
550	3	Ruben	Korea.
551	3	Rick	Don't worry about your C-C-Christmas, Jerry. leads Ruben away Ruben and I'll be in my workshop while you have another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.
552	3	Jerry	Huh. You think you know a guy. The doorbell rings. Okay, there's my parents. Now remember, no TV, no phones, no laptops, we are connecting this Christmas, like old-school Jews on a Saturday. opens the door Hey hey!
553	3	Leonard	Merry Christmas, son.
554	3	Jerry	Oh, hi. Can I help you?
555	3	Joyce	Jerry, this is Jacob. takes Jacob by the arm Didn't you get our text message?
556	3	Beth, Summer, and Morty	No.
557	3	Jacob	You must be Jerry! That's a fine lookin' apron. William Sonoma?
558	3	Jerry	smiling uncomfortably I wish... But thank you. closes the door So... you're a...friend of the family...?
559	3	Leonard	puts an arm around Jacob's shoulders The way we see it, he's a part of the family.
560	3	Jerry	Wow!
561	3	Joyce	After your father's brush with cancer and losing your uncle, we looked at life and wondered how have we spent it? And how do we spend the rest of it? What are we going to be when we die? A list of fears and questions, or a collection of real experiences?
562	3	Beth	Holy crap, Joyce. That's amazing.
563	3	Leonard	Then Jacob came into our lives. We're learning to live again.
564	3	Jacob	All three of us.
565	3	Jerry	...Cool... Eggnog?
566	3	Jacob	Now we are talkin'! This man's got the apron and the eggnog, huh?
567	3	Rick	Hi Joyce, Leonard. looks at Jacob Hello there.
568	3	Jacob	Merry Christmas, man.
569	3	Rick	Morty! A moment of your time?
570	3	Rick	He's in bad shape, Morty.
571	3	Morty	Aw geez, Rick! What did you do?
572	3	Rick	Gee, thanks Morty. What kind of monster do you think I am? I-I'm sittin' here trying to save the guy's life! Rick straps a pack with a tube onto Morty's back and puts an earpiece on his head. I want you to find Dr. Xenon Bloom. He'll know what's goin' on.
573	3	Morty	extremely nervous Uh... W-W-Where do I find Dr. Bloom?
574	3	Rick	In Ruben. shoves a glass oxygen mask onto Morty's head
575	3	Morty	Ruben... Minnesota?
576	3	Rick	Ruben on the table, Morty! hooks up the backpack to the helmet Look, I-I don't have time for you to wrap your little walnut around everything. pulls a shrink ray into view and plugs it in Hold your breath until the process is over or your lungs will collapse.
577	3	Morty	W-What proc—
578	3	Beth	Hey Dad, where's Morty?
579	3	Rick	He's busy.
580	3	Rick	through Morty's earpiece Morty, can you hear me? Head North!
581	3	Morty	Rick... Where am I?
582	3	Rick	adjusts his own headset as he stands in the garage Depending on my aim, you should be just south of the entrance.
583	3	Morty	through Rick's earpieceThe entrance to what?
584	3	Rick	Welcome, Morty. The scene cuts back to Morty's view from inside Ruben. Welcome... Morty gasps. ...to Anatomy Park!
585	3	Rick	It's a little business venture I've been cookin' up on the side with Dr. Bloom. Morty enters the park. An amusement park inside a human body. Science isn't cheap, Morty. This should really help put a dent in the overhead.
586	3	Morty	Oh my God! This is insane! Spleen Mountain? Bladder Falls? Pirates of the Pancreas?
587	3	Rick	You got a problem with that last one, Morty?
588	3	Morty	Huh? No, no, I'm just reading them out loud in the order I'm seeing them.
589	3	Rick	Okay, alright, if I sounded a little defensive, it's because Pirates of the Pancreas was my baby.
590	3	Rick	I-I got a lot of push-back when I pitched it, Morty. I guess I'm still a little defensive. Let's just find Dr. Bloom, alright? I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, Morty.
591	3	Rick	Proceed to the liver.
592	3	Automated voice	Arriving at 'Liver'.
593	3	Morty	stumbles forward and hits his helmet on the window Ow!
594	3	Automated voice	Mind the gap.
595	3	Morty	It's really scary in here, Rick.
596	3	Rick	Liver's under maintenance. Ruben's seen some rough years, Morty. Don't judge. You don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your life's going great.
597	3	Morty	OOOOHHH! Rick, it's a monster!
598	3	Rick	No no, Morty. The only monster here is alco— belch —holism. The wolf is mechanically pulled back into the wall. That is an animatronic werewolf.
599	3	Poncho	Who are you? Answer me! Where did you come from?

500

2

Rick

No, no, no, I was just playing dead. Good news, though, Morty. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon.

501

2

Morty

What?

502

2

Rick

It's a dream, Morty. We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the two of us inside snuffles' dream.

503

2

Morty

But I-it's been like a whole year!

504

2

Rick

It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like "Inception," Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie.

505

2

Morty

Aw, man. I really liked this life. Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants.

506

2

Rick

No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty. You're sleeping in your crap right now. Out of all the things that happened to you, that was the only real thing that, you know, is that you crapped your pants. I mean, it's a mess out there. I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth.

507

2

Morty

Aw, man, geez! Seriously?

508

2

Rick

Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty. Here, here take these, Morty. Take these.

509

2

Morty

Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?

510

2

Rick

Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down.

511

2

Morty

What?!

512

2

Rick

It's necessary for the plan, Morty. Don't even trip, dawg.

513

2

Dr. Dog

It's pretty bad, emperor snowball. We're gonna need to do another operation.

514

2

Snuffles

Anything. Anything for my precious Morty.

515

2

Accountant Dog

Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that these medical expenses are putting you in serious financial jeopardy. You could lose your kingdom.

516

2

Snuffles

To hell with my kingdom, bean counter. I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness.

517

2

Accountant Dog

Do you think they would have done this for us?

518

2

Snuffles

We are not them! We are not them. Snuffles wakes up from the dream Assemble the troops. I've made a decision.

519

2

Snuffles

Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory.

520

2

Morty

I'm gonna miss you, snowball.

521

2

Snuffles

You can call me snuffles, Morty, and I'm going to miss you, too, very much.

522

2

Beth

Jerry?

523

2

Jerry

I'm sorry. It's just like the end of "Old Yeller.

524

2

Beth

Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it.

525

2

Morty

Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick.

526

2

Rick

I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven.

527

2

Morty

You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick.

528

2

Rick

What do you know, Morty? What do you know?

529

2

Scary Glenn

Hi, guys. I'm your new teacher for scary class. My name is scary Mr. Johnson. Uh, actually, you know what? That's my dad's name, so why don't you just call me scary Glenn, yeah? So, anyway, I understand your previous teacher was having you work on fundamentals of fear. Which is what is that? You know? So, uh, here here's what I say you can't learn anything until you learn how to chill.

530

2

Rick

Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch. Terry and Rick are getting stoned

531

3

Jerry

singing Last King Christmas last arrived!

532

3

Jerry

singing In the Christmas Christmas! stops singing and smells the ham Mmm... Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham.

533

3

Jerry

Um, Merry Christmas? puts his hands on his hips Helloooo? My parents are coming over for the first time in years! Can we stow the gadgets and look alive?

534

3

Beth

Alive? For your parents?

535

3

Jerry

Good one.

536

3

Beth

Hey man!

537

3

Jerry

You 'hey man'! This holiday is about humanity.

538

3

Morty

not looking up from his tablet You know, I thought it was about being born half-God or something.

539

3

Jerry

Okay, whatever. All electronic items are going in the stocking. Now.

540

3

Morty

hands over his tablet Ohhhh...

541

3

Summer

Dad, I'm not giving you my phone.

542

3

Jerry

Put it in the stocking, Summer, or I'm joining Facebook.

543

3

Rick

offscreen Ho ho ho, everybody.

544

3

Jerry

More like whoa whoa whoa. What is this? My parents are coming!

545

3

Rick

Calm down Jerry, this is Ruben, an old friend.

546

3

Ruben

Pearl Harbor.

547

3

Rick

I check in on him once a year and give him a little burp medical burp evaluation.

548

3

Beth

Aw, Dad... That is so sweet.

549

3

Jerry

squinting suspiciously Yeah, it is... I don't get it.

550

3

Ruben

Korea.

551

3

Rick

Don't worry about your C-C-Christmas, Jerry. leads Ruben away Ruben and I'll be in my workshop while you have another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.

552

3

Jerry

Huh. You think you know a guy. The doorbell rings. Okay, there's my parents. Now remember, no TV, no phones, no laptops, we are connecting this Christmas, like old-school Jews on a Saturday. opens the door Hey hey!

553

3

Leonard

Merry Christmas, son.

554

3

Jerry

Oh, hi. Can I help you?

555

3

Joyce

Jerry, this is Jacob. takes Jacob by the arm Didn't you get our text message?

556

3

Beth, Summer, and Morty

No.

557

3

Jacob

You must be Jerry! That's a fine lookin' apron. William Sonoma?

558

3

Jerry

smiling uncomfortably I wish... But thank you. closes the door So... you're a...friend of the family...?

559

3

Leonard

puts an arm around Jacob's shoulders The way we see it, he's a part of the family.

560

3

Jerry

Wow!

561

3

Joyce

After your father's brush with cancer and losing your uncle, we looked at life and wondered how have we spent it? And how do we spend the rest of it? What are we going to be when we die? A list of fears and questions, or a collection of real experiences?

562

3

Beth

Holy crap, Joyce. That's amazing.

563

3

Leonard

Then Jacob came into our lives. We're learning to live again.

564

3

Jacob

All three of us.

565

3

Jerry

...Cool... Eggnog?

566

3

Jacob

Now we are talkin'! This man's got the apron and the eggnog, huh?

567

3

Rick

Hi Joyce, Leonard. looks at Jacob Hello there.

568

3

Jacob

Merry Christmas, man.

569

3

Rick

Morty! A moment of your time?

570

3

Rick

He's in bad shape, Morty.

571

3

Morty

Aw geez, Rick! What did you do?

572

3

Rick

Gee, thanks Morty. What kind of monster do you think I am? I-I'm sittin' here trying to save the guy's life! Rick straps a pack with a tube onto Morty's back and puts an earpiece on his head. I want you to find Dr. Xenon Bloom. He'll know what's goin' on.

573

3

Morty

extremely nervous Uh... W-W-Where do I find Dr. Bloom?

574

3

Rick

In Ruben. shoves a glass oxygen mask onto Morty's head

575

3

Morty

Ruben... Minnesota?

576

3

Rick

Ruben on the table, Morty! hooks up the backpack to the helmet Look, I-I don't have time for you to wrap your little walnut around everything. pulls a shrink ray into view and plugs it in Hold your breath until the process is over or your lungs will collapse.

577

3

Morty

W-What proc—

578

3

Beth

Hey Dad, where's Morty?

579

3

Rick

He's busy.

580

3

Rick

through Morty's earpiece Morty, can you hear me? Head North!

581

3

Morty

Rick... Where am I?

582

3

Rick

adjusts his own headset as he stands in the garage Depending on my aim, you should be just south of the entrance.

583

3

Morty

through Rick's earpieceThe entrance to what?

584

3

Rick

Welcome, Morty. The scene cuts back to Morty's view from inside Ruben. Welcome... Morty gasps. ...to Anatomy Park!

585

3

Rick

It's a little business venture I've been cookin' up on the side with Dr. Bloom. Morty enters the park. An amusement park inside a human body. Science isn't cheap, Morty. This should really help put a dent in the overhead.

586

3

Morty

Oh my God! This is insane! Spleen Mountain? Bladder Falls? Pirates of the Pancreas?

587

3

Rick

You got a problem with that last one, Morty?

588

3

Morty

Huh? No, no, I'm just reading them out loud in the order I'm seeing them.

589

3

Rick

Okay, alright, if I sounded a little defensive, it's because Pirates of the Pancreas was my baby.

590

3

Rick

I-I got a lot of push-back when I pitched it, Morty. I guess I'm still a little defensive. Let's just find Dr. Bloom, alright? I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, Morty.

591

3

Rick

Proceed to the liver.

592

3

Automated voice

Arriving at 'Liver'.

593

3

Morty

stumbles forward and hits his helmet on the window Ow!

594

3

Automated voice

Mind the gap.

595

3

Morty

It's really scary in here, Rick.

596

3

Rick

Liver's under maintenance. Ruben's seen some rough years, Morty. Don't judge. You don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your life's going great.

597

3

Morty

OOOOHHH! Rick, it's a monster!

598

3

Rick

No no, Morty. The only monster here is alco— belch —holism. The wolf is mechanically pulled back into the wall. That is an animatronic werewolf.

599

3

Poncho

Who are you? Answer me! Where did you come from?