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what kind of cheese is not yours?
nacho cheese not your cheese
pirates put their booty in it
chest
what can not be seen. can not be felt can not be heard or smell. it lies behind rocks and hills under mountains and hills
dark
autumn leaves and bad bowlers wreak havoc on this
gutter
try to figure out the last 4 digits of this number. 561 - 985 - call the cops, canyoufigure out the last 4 digits? the first number of the last 4 is low so there you go. call me ifyoucan ( ) i mean i am a international superstar i dont give my phone out 2 any1 that ask 4 it. - gallant
0911 or 4911 or 2255
I can warm, or cook, or burn, as many through mistake have learned. but your answer lies not with me, but with that which i fear, that which gives life to the tree. what am i? what is your answer?
fire your answer is water
what animal is small, hopes, and is kept in a mother's pouch?
baby kangaroo joey
what ship has no captain but two mates?
courtship
what do you call a computer super hero?
screen saver
I have one voice. when if young i walk n 4 when if older i walk on 2 when if young i walk on 3. im slowest on 3 what am i?
human
we don't take showers, but were as clean as can be, what do we do to take the smell away?
we take baths
a man goes into an elevator and presses the 5th floor, he gets off and walks up the stairs to his apartment on the 15th floor. he does this every day. but when he is with a neighbor, he goes to the 15th floor. why does he do it?
man is a midget
a certain wizard resided in a city made from this gemstone
emerald
you're confused and I am told what to the world this thing could do?
riddle
what's a lifeguard's favorite game?
pool
imagine you are driving in a car and you aren't paying any attention and suddenly you drive off a dock and into the ocean! the doors are locked and the windows want open. you don't have anything strong to break the window with. what do you do?
just stop imagining
I can run but can not walk and yet i do not move! what am i?
refridgerator
a plane takeoff it goes towards east and crashes there so now where would survivors be buried?
survivors are not buried
can you name three consecutive days without using the words midday, workday, wednesday, birthday, birthday, saturday, or sunday?
yesterday today and tomorrow
david was out for a walk when it started to rain. he did not have an umbrella and he wasn't wearing a hat. his clothes were soaked, yet not a single hair on his head got wet. how could this happen?
david is bald
it is raining and adam do not have his raincoat on but after sometime under the rain his hair is not wet
because he his bald
what did one will say to the other wall
meet me at the corner
what does a chicken say instead of food?
eggcelent
salty water everywhere, but not a sea in sight!
tears
what is the vampire's most hated song?
you are my sunshine
why does santa like beer?
because they have clause
which balls you cannot play with?
eye balls
imagine john, a party magician, is carrying three pieces of gold each piece weighing one kilogram. while taking a walk he comes to a bridge which has a sign posted saying the bridge could hold only a maximum of 80 kilograms. john weighs 78 kilograms and the gold weighs three kilograms. john reads the sign and still safely crossed the bridge with all the gold. how did he manage?
he juggled them
what colour does a cat like?
purrple
what driver can never get a license?
screwdriver
what do you call a bee that eats other bees?
hannibal nectar
a lady has seven kids. half of them are boys. how is this possible?
theyre all boys
causes dancing in children when it fills up
bladder
what question can you never answer yes to?
are you sleeping
what has legs but cannot walk?
chair
what is a banana and a banana.
pair of banana
the more i dry the more i get wet. what am i?
towel_
how do trees get onto the internet?
they log on
I am a nation, all lazy undergraduates hate me what am i?
examination
a train pulls in alongside a crowded platform. it is precisely on schedule. the train is not full, and yet nobody boards it. all trains that stop at the platform travel to the same destinations. why then did nobody board the train?
model train
i snap but i am not a twig. have armor but i am not a knight. i have a mobile home but i dont live in a trailer park. i am hard but soft at the same time i am sharp. like a teacher but i am stupid. i am as fast as a rock rolling up a hill. i am a lover staring at a rock but notin love. i see air but i can not hear it.
snaping turtle
what happens to the dog when it stands infront of the hot sun
dog becomes hotdog
I'm a trivial. i'm good and tasty. what am i?
hershys kisses
I'm pleasing to the eye a tool for many absent of mind a tapestry of fickle lies blind to even the most pensive spies i'm often the breeder of fervent lust but i am by far one you shouldn't trust. what am i?
appearance
what does the big tomato say to the small tomato?
ketchup
imagine yours in a metal box. without doors, windows or anything. who do you get out?
you just stop imagining
this is where the wind comes sweeping down the plain not to mention the waving wheat
oklahoma
what do you call chess thats not yours!
nacho chesse
what do you call a rabbit with fleas?
bugs bunny
dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty
dirtydozen
hold these between your knees if you want to set a cuban beat
bongos
vikings use this for warmth
pelt
if you take off my skin, I won't cry but you will cry. what am i?
they have many layers onion
sugar on a stick the kids love licking them
lollipop
what do tigers have that no other animal can have?
baby tigers
where do polar bears go to vote?
north poll
a man sees a white bear outside his house. where is he?
north pole
what goes in dry and comes out wet. the longer it's in, the better it gets. when it comes out, it's sagging wet. what is it?
tebag
why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
because they lactose
farmer brown came to town with some watermelons. he sold half of them plus half a melon, and found that he had one whole melon left. how many melons did he take to town?
easy three melons
when is it dangerous to play cards?
when the joker is wild
one day a nanny was looking for a job and saw one in a newspaper so she found an address and talked to the lady and soon the kids come out and they fun up to her and what did they say
hi grandma
why were outlaws the strongest men in the old west?
they could hold up trains
what sheds water, and prevents disease?
waxy leathery leaves
little miss eticoat in a white peticoat and a red nose the longer she stands the shorter she grows
white candle
red and orange, blue and green, touching brothers yellow and white. the final solution is always in sight. yet only by minds sharp and keen. what am i?
rubiks cube
a business man decides to take his son to see his office one day. unfortunately when they arrive, a fire breaks out and the father passes out. the young boy screams out the window to the firefighters below for help. one of the firefighters looks up and yells " that's my son! " but the boy's dad is already inside, frightened, who's the firefighter below?
his mom
dad's mother had three kids, penny & dime. whos the third child?
dan
a man and his wife had a baby. the male baby is named coninfood. his mother's name is contained. what is his father's name?
his fathers name is food
I am a bread made with cornmeal, often eaten with beans or jambalaya
cornbread
what is the word opposite of noise
quiet
the possession of two left feet will probably rule out your prospects as this kind of professional
dancer
what is a vampires favorite test?
blood test
it will not die when hung, and will dry when wrung
laundry
a man went on a camping trip on his house. he left on sunday and came back on sunday but he went away for 10 days. how can this be?
his horses name was sunday
what is pink and can think?
your brian
a farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. how many are left alive?
9 all but nine die
if you win this famous race, forget champagne, try fried chicken
bluegrass
what do these 3 have in common? superman moves the cabbage patch kids
they were all adopted
I have 15 cents in my left hand consisting of 2 coins yet the one is not a 10 cent how do you explain that?
other coin is 10 cent
what is black and white but should not be, has a mouth but does not speak, interacts with many things yet nothing you can see?
mime
other terms for this handy device include hoohicky, doo - dad and watchyamacallit some people are so addicted to this
gadget
right on the target, or hopelessly wrong, offering me up where I may not belong, given the options or a terrible clue, when you don't know the answer, what do you do?
you guess
a square house is being circled by a large bear. all of the walls of the house face south. what color is the bear?
white because a polar bear
what is brown when you buy it, and multicoloured when you are finished with it?
garden shed being painted
why is the kind so thin?
to fit your phoosy in
I always come first yet always found in the end. what am i?
sunday
what did the cow say to her neighbor in the morning?
good moo rning
you're the bus driver. the bus is filled with sixteen people. eight people get off and seven people come on. at the next stop all but one get off, and three adults, a senior and a girl with her dog come on. at the next stop the girl and the dog get off, and two people come on. at the last stop all of the people get off except to adults. what color are the bus driver's eyes?
youre the bus driver
less than 1000 more than 88 x 2 + 8 less than 100 x 9 + 65 more than 100 x 9 + 63
964
a cowboy ride to dodge city on friday he stayed there for two days then went out of town on friday. how come?
his horse is name friday
what is a precious chest, that is perfectly smooth and round, that has bought hinge or lid, yet a golden treasure inside is hid?
and egg
why are this intimidated by remotes?
because they always control them
four men sat down to play. they played all night till break of day. they played for gold and not for fun. with separate scores for everyone. when they had come to square accounts. they all had made quite fair amounts. can you the paradox explain. if no one lost, how all could gain?
men were musicians
what did sir lancelot wear to bed?
knight gown
what do you call a pair of banana skins?
pair of slippers
I stand all day, on my four equal legs. i cant sit, but i help others to rest. every house i am there, but no one thinks me to be a scare. even if a big bubble bee sting, it wont worry me as i'm not a living thing. all people use me, yes they do. i can be any color, even blue.
chair
if a cow boy rides in on monday stays for two days and then leaves on holiday. how is this possible?
horses name is friday
what is the least spoken language in the world?
sign language
sometimes i am loud, and viewed with distaste. poke out my eye, then i'm on the front of your face. what word am i?
noise attribute eye to i