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train · 67 rows

text stringlengths 22 1.11k	audio audioduration (s) 2.4 20.7
I'm coming to Austin, Texas. We love Austin. They do a lot of great things there. They do.
I checked the weather today and they told me it was going to be dark and storming but.
Quite frankly, it looks like they made a mistake. It's as sunny as can be I came back here to apologize. I made a mistake. I didn't mean to storm. It was an accident. I brought peach cobbler.
Hello, boys and girls, men and women, specifically American citizens.
I want to wish you a very happy and merrily Christmas from your future president and Supreme Leader Donald J. Trump. It has come to my attention that a very sad criminal convict that they call Santa Claus has been operating illegally above.
American airspace for many years now and he has been deported.
Back to the North Pole, which is technically in Finland. This European convict will no longer be allowed to operate without a visa.
And eating their cookies and milk.
They didn't give me a baby little sippy cup.
They would never do that because quite frankly, they know that I deserve a big boy cup.
They go on the train to escape their loveless marriages and they're wearing their.
And their wives, they don't love them. The kids don't love them. The dog doesn't love them.
The kids, they always get you a T-shirt.
Charles, I want to wish you a happy Father's Day. We know that you're a great daddy. They call you the daddy of. Quite frankly, you're not as great as I am, but you're doing a lot of great work. You're probably.
Drinking beers, by the way, maybe on a boat, maybe face down on a sidewalk. We don't know. We're looking into it. We know that you love cars, you love cars, but you love the American cars. You don't love Nissan or nor do you love.
When I'm elected again in 2024, we will be arresting all homeless people, anybody outside who is camping on the sidewalk. I don't care if you have smores, marshmallows, or even if you're saying scary stories, you're going to jail immediately. And we will be sending all of the homeless people to a penal colony.
President Biden, Vice President Harris.
And my fellow citizens, the golden age of America is upon us.
Today is Martin Luther King Junior Day and he had a dream.
And today we're going to make that dream a reality by abolishing slavery.
To our 50 states and even our 51st state of Canada.
Our 52nd state of Greenland.
And our 53rd state of.
China has been operating the Panama Canal for too long, and we gave it to Panama.
By mistake, we're taking it back. We're renaming it the Pena Main Canal, because it will be.
There will be two genders, once more there will be male and man.
And impossible is what we do best.
It's what we do best, we are bringing our stars and stripes.
And we are also putting our stars in stripes on the stars.
I made the biggest political comeback anybody has ever seen in the hundred and fifty years of our great nation.
Now I'm kind of like Batman except.
Great nation. There was only woods and a tree and also a rock and water.
It was hot and it rained a little bit sometimes And they made America so great.
And we will continue to make it great and we will make America great again.
Screw you. Indict me three times. You're nasty. Indict me four times and I'm running for president again and probably also running for the president of.
That only I could climb it. It was one of the biggest walls. It was like a spartan race.
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CPA. We love CPA. They do a lot of number.
And math, they do. And quite frankly, you can count my money any day, Denise. We love to see it I would love to buy you flowers on this.
It's a great franchise and business and.
They let me do all the work here today. Nobody's working here today except me. I clean the bathrooms and then I made the.
Wow, that's a lot of food. I don't know about that. I got a.
But you ordered a lot of food. You ordered that's a lot.
I'm coming to Orlando, Florida. It's a city that will soon be underwater like Atlantis, but a one star motel version. And I'm going to Disney World or as I like to call it, Epstein's Castle with the anthropomorphic perverts. And they're doing a lot of great things that.
Disney World. We love it and Epcot. We're changing up that. They have great food but soon they will only be serving American food and there will be.
They broke into my home at the Mar-a-Lago. They broke in. They didn't call. They didn't text. They call themselves the FBI. It should be short for.
And my new campaign slogan is, and I made this up myself. By the way, they didn't make this up. I made it up. It's called my guy, guy, guy, guy, guy, guy. Make America great and glorious and good and.
You don't see that, do you? And why is that?
It's because I'm not a witch, but if you listen to the radical left, they'll have you believe I'm a witch. They want to flog me, they want to flay me, they want to draw me and quarter me by.
Air and is also going to join the continents and create Pangaea.
We're so back. We are bringing the stocks back to.
We are bringing back the great American sweatshop factory.
We need those factories. We do. We need the workers to be.
Including the country of the.
That's right. We placed huge tariffs on the penguins. And as far as I'm concerned.
They've never made anything good for us, the penguins. I don't, I don't know if I, I don't know. Do you use anything made by a penguin? I don't.
I don't think I've used anything made by penguins. I've never done that. So that's why we're placing huge tariffs. We're going to be doing.
Mass Penguin Deportations were deporting them from zoos across the country and you know what, Seaworld is getting hit the hardest.
We love King Trump and they won't get rid of King Trump. That's for sure I can't decide if I like king better or emperor.
One term, two term, three term for.
How many more terms should I serve?
For we're looking into it. I don't know. Can I serve more? Can I run more? I don't know if I can but I have a lot of ways to work around this. We're turning the terms into dog years. So a term will be now seven years. We're changing that by the way.
And we might be able to add a lot more terms. We might be able to, I might be serving.
Fourteen terms. They say fourteen How can I do that.
And when my body dies, they will put me in Mekatrump.
It's basically a robot that is bigger and even better.
They're putting me in a robo sponsored by Teszler. We love Teszler by the way. And we love Alania, my soon to be African wife.