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122 | null | Встречаются два подкаблучника. Один другому:
— Вчера свою нахуй послал!
— Да ладно! Нифига себе. Как это?
— Да, прикинь, подходит такая: "Иди выкинь мусор!"
— А ты?
— А я ей: "Да пошла ты нахуй! Я ещё не достирал!"... | https://t.me/dimonster69/166?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/dimonster69 | 14 | 0 | 1,712,861,292 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 40 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 24 | true |
122 | null | Новый Год в Эфиопии. Изголодавшиеся дети собрались под кустом в ожидании Деда Мороза. Появляется Дед Мороз, поздравляет детей с праздником и собирается улетать.
— Дедушка Мороз, а подарки?
— А подарки только тем, кто хорошо кушал. | https://t.me/dimonster69/167?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/dimonster69 | 15 | 0 | 1,712,861,296 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Эфиопии","lemma":"эфиопия","label":"LOC","start_pos":12,"end_pos":19},{"ner":"Деда Мороза","lemma":"дед мороз","label":"PER","start_pos":73,"end_pos":84},{"ner":"Дед Мороз","lemma":"дед мороз","label":"PER","start_pos":97,"end_pos":106},{"ner":"Дедушка Мороз","lemma":"дедушка мороз","label":"PER","start_pos":163,"end_pos":176}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Яша Рабинович побывал в гостях у знакомых.
- Ну, и чем же они тебя там угощали? - спрашивает его жена Сара.
- Та... вином.
- Хорошим?
- Ну, как тебе сказать... Если бы оно было несколько хуже, его нельзя было бы пить. А если бы оно было лучше, то они выпили бы его сами... | https://t.me/evreii/50?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/evreii | 4,100 | 0 | 1,573,489,790 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Яша Рабинович","lemma":"яша рабинович","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":13},{"ner":"Сара","lemma":"сара","label":"PER","start_pos":102,"end_pos":106}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 54 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 6 | 10 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 15 | true |
122 | null | Наташа Ростова спрашивает поручика Ржевского:
— Вы бы смогли ради меня сразиться с Майком Тайсоном врукопашную?
— Ну, нет, увольте—с! Пусть Пьер Безухов с ним сражается.
— Но почему, поручик?
— А ему терять нечего. | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/839?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 107 | 0 | 1,713,867,383 | 1,732,738,894 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Наташа Ростова","lemma":"наташа ростов","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":14},{"ner":"Ржевского","lemma":"ржевский","label":"PER","start_pos":35,"end_pos":44},{"ner":"Майком Тайсоном","lemma":"майк тайсоном","label":"PER","start_pos":83,"end_pos":98},{"ner":"Пьер Безухов","lemma":"пьер безухов","label":"PER","start_pos":140,"end_pos":152}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 35 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Ржевский и Наташа на балу.
— Поручик, что у вас цокает? Вы не сняли шпоры?
— Это не шпоры—с!
— А что же?
— Когти—с. | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/840?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 108 | 0 | 1,713,867,383 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Ржевский","lemma":"ржевский","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":8},{"ner":"Наташа","lemma":"наташа","label":"PER","start_pos":11,"end_pos":17},{"ner":"Когти","lemma":"когти","label":"LOC","start_pos":107,"end_pos":112}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 13 | true |
122 | null | На балу, разговор Наташи Ростовой и Ржевского:
— Поручик, а знаете почему попа разделена пополам по вертикали, а не по горизонтали?
— Знаю, чтобы при беге не хлопала! | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/841?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 99 | 0 | 1,713,955,175 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Наташи Ростовой","lemma":"наташа ростов","label":"PER","start_pos":18,"end_pos":33},{"ner":"Ржевского","lemma":"ржевский","label":"PER","start_pos":36,"end_pos":45}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 9 | true |
122 | null | — Закурить не найдется?
— Я — боксер… И три дня назад уже объяснил вам, что не курю.
— Извините, глаз заплыл, не узнал. Богатым будете… | https://t.me/likeandsmile/116?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/likeandsmile | 30 | 0 | 1,666,181,813 | 1,732,738,894 | 171 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Приносит муж домой только что купленный телевизор. Hа упаковке нарисованы разные знаки.
Жена:
— А зачем на упаковке нарисована рюмка?
Муж:
— Это значит, что на необмытые покупки гарантия не распространяется! | https://t.me/likeandsmile/117?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/likeandsmile | 29 | 0 | 1,666,366,203 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 10 | 2 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Разговор с мудрецом.
К мудрецу явился молодой человек и спросил, что нужно делать, чтобы стать великим ученым.
— Нужно отказаться от всех удовольствий, кроме учения. Ты должен привыкнуть к голоду, холоду и нищете. И так до сорока лет.
— А потом?
— А потом ты привыкнешь. | https://t.me/likeandsmile/118?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/likeandsmile | 26 | 0 | 1,666,979,085 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 46 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 7 | 2 | 1 | 11 | 3 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Трамвай, заходит старая бабушка, парень подрывается со своего места, бабушка садится и благодарит его. Вдруг с другого места встаёт ещё один парень, указывает на своё место и говорит:
- Ты не задумавшись сделал добро, пока я сидел и смотрел, ты больше заслужил это место.
Парень благодарный сел, следом встал другой мужчина и говорит:
- Тебе хватило смелости признать свои ошибки и сделать другое доброе дело. Садись, ты заслужил это место.
Следом встал ещё один мужик, с таким же посылом, и так слово за слово весь трамвай начал меняться местами. Наконец со своего места встал последний мужчина и говорит:
- Ну чё, бабка, вставай ебать. | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/138?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 271 | 0 | 1,710,169,176 | 1,732,738,894 | 171 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 104 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 26 | 7 | 2 | 28 | 8 | 23 | true |
122 | null | Полиция заехала проверить псих. больницу. После проверки полицейская машина с большой скоростью устремилась по шоссе. Вдруг видят менты что за ними псих бежит. Прибавили, едут 100 км в час, псих все ещё бежит. Едут 130 км в час, а псих не отстаёт. Копы остановились, вышли с авто и спрашивают психа:
- Чего тебе?
- Дайте бибикнуть. | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/139?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 235 | 0 | 1,710,176,376 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"100","lemma":"100","label":"NUM","start_pos":176,"end_pos":179},{"ner":"130","lemma":"130","label":"NUM","start_pos":215,"end_pos":218}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 56 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 15 | 3 | 2 | 19 | 2 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Встретились как-то два старых друга и решили в бар пойти.
Сидят, выпивают, и разговаривают:
-Ну что, кем работаешь?
-Я дальнобойщиком работаю, деньги хорошие получаю. А ты чем занимаешься?
-Я недавно свой бордель открыл
-О, здорово, по чем мiнет?
-500 рублей
-А ан@л?
-1500 рублей
-А классика сколько?
-А с классикой проблема, я пока один работаю.... | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/140?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 241 | 0 | 1,710,215,976 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"500","lemma":"500","label":"NUM","start_pos":248,"end_pos":251},{"ner":"1500","lemma":"1500","label":"NUM","start_pos":269,"end_pos":273}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 55 | 1 | 7 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 12 | 6 | 2 | 11 | 6 | 25 | true |
122 | null | Мэри, а кто этот парень ?
-это Джонни по прозвищу "Туз червей"
-это потому что он крутой сердцеед?
-нет, потому что у него глисты | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/141?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 245 | 0 | 1,710,223,176 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Мэри","lemma":"мэри","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":4},{"ner":"Джонни","lemma":"джонни","label":"PER","start_pos":31,"end_pos":37}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 9 | true |
122 | null | "Дорогая Служба поддержки!
В прошлом году я произвела обновление программ на компьютере: вместо "Приятель 5.0" я установила "Муж 1.0" и заметила, что новая программа стала производить неожиданные изменения в финансовых модулях и ограничила доступ к приложениям типа "цветы" и "ювелир", которые прекрасно работали под управлением "Приятель 5.0". Кроме того, "Муж 1.0" удалил многие другие ценные программы, например, "Романтика 9.9", и одновременно установил "Футбол 5.0", "Гараж 4.5" и "Телевизор 6.0". Программа "Разговор 8.0" больше не запускается, а при запуске программы "Уборка Дома 2.6" вся система зависает. Я пробовала запустить "Нытьё 5.3", но результатов не добилась.
Пожалуйста, помогите!
Отчаявшаяся."
@shutkaru | https://t.me/shutkaru/2265?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/shutkaru | 51 | 0 | 1,724,927,100 | 1,732,738,894 | 171 | 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| NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 98 | 0 | 2 | 0.993243 | 0.006757 | 0 | 8 | 16 | 5 | 11 | 29 | 5 | 46 | true |
122 | null | Брачная ночь.
Молодая совершенно ненасытна. Один раз, второй, третий, четвертый,...шестой.
Под утро жена начинает дремать, а муж, шатаясь, идет пописать. Пять минут его нет, пятнадцать. Жена просыпается и идет его искать в туалет. Открыает дверь и видит, как тот шарит в трусах и шепчет:
Ну давай... вылезай... Я тебе железно говорю, она спит.
@shutkaru | https://t.me/shutkaru/2266?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/shutkaru | 43 | 0 | 1,724,944,200 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 54 | 0 | 1 | 0.987342 | 0.012658 | 0 | 5 | 16 | 5 | 2 | 12 | 2 | 20 | true |
122 | null | Мужик pаботает на участке около своего дома.
Из соседнего дома выходит его соседка-блондинка,
откpывает свой почтовый ящик, заглядывает туда,
захлопывает и убегает обpатно в дом. Hемного погодя
соседка выбегает снова, заглядывает в почтовый ящик и
снова убегает обpатно. Когда все повтоpяется в тpетий pаз,
мужик не выдеpживает:
- В чем дело? Что-нибудь случилось?
- Это точно, что что-то случилось.
Мой дуpацкий компьютеp все вpемя сообщает: "Вы получили почту!"
@shutkaru | https://t.me/shutkaru/2267?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/shutkaru | 40 | 0 | 1,724,987,400 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"pаз","lemma":"pаз","label":"ORG","start_pos":302,"end_pos":305}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 69 | 0 | 1 | 0.990196 | 0.009804 | 0 | 5 | 16 | 11 | 0 | 17 | 5 | 19 | true |
122 | null | Жизнь чем-то похожа на шведский стол.
Кто-то берёт от неё сколько хочет, другие сколько могут. Кто-то сколько совесть позволяет, другие сколько позволяет наглость. Но правило для всех нас одно с собой уносить нельзя!
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/6459?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 39 | 0 | 1,732,286,228 | 1,732,738,894 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":235,"end_pos":239}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 38 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 11 | 5 | 8 | 1 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Трудно нынче российскому патриоту!
Песков:
Жена гражданка США.
Дочь гражданка Франции.
Сын гражданин Великобритании.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/6460?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 39 | 0 | 1,732,289,829 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Песков","lemma":"песков","label":"PER","start_pos":35,"end_pos":41},{"ner":"США","lemma":"сша","label":"LOC","start_pos":58,"end_pos":61},{"ner":"Франции","lemma":"франция","label":"LOC","start_pos":78,"end_pos":85},{"ner":"Великобритании","lemma":"великобритания","label":"LOC","start_pos":101,"end_pos":115},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":134,"end_pos":138}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 1 | 5 | true |
122 | null | В ceкс-шоп заходит дедок и обращается к продавщице:
— Доченька, я недоволен своей половой жизнью, итогами Холодной войны и Перестройки. У вас есть надувной Горбачёв?
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/6461?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 39 | 0 | 1,732,293,430 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Горбачёв","lemma":"горбачёв","label":"PER","start_pos":157,"end_pos":165},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":184,"end_pos":188}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 30 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Два немца в одной камере.
— Из-за евреев сидим!
— Так их ведь почти не осталось в Польше!
— В том-то и дело! Если бы они были, то они сидели бы, а не мы! | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/519?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 29 | 0 | 1,713,942,608 | 1,732,738,894 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Польше","lemma":"польша","label":"LOC","start_pos":82,"end_pos":88}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 34 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Иду по улице, улыбаюсь, настроение хорошее, думаю:
— Господи, сделай так, чтобы у всех людей вокруг стало хорошее настроение!
Падаю в лужу. Лежу. Смотрю, вокруг люди улыбаются... Настроение у них, видите ли, хорошее. | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/520?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 27 | 0 | 1,714,029,012 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| [{"ner":"Господи","lemma":"господи","label":"PER","start_pos":53,"end_pos":60}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 33 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 9 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 3 | 15 | true |
122 | null | Очухивается мужик после операции в палате и спрашивает доктора:
— Доктор, что со мной произошло? Я ничего не помню! Была авария?
— Да, вы вчера попали под поезд, и вас прооперировали…
— Так значит, я нахожусь в больнице?
— Ну, как вам сказать… В основном, да. | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/521?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 29 | 0 | 1,714,115,413 | 1,732,738,894 | 158 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 46 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 10 | 7 | 0 | 8 | 2 | 18 | true |
122 | null | Заходят как то в бар прошлое, настоящее и будущее. Вот это были времена. | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/540?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 252 | 0 | 1,710,393,465 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 13 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Приходят как то к учителю ленивый, хитрый, тупой ученики и кореец. Ленивый говорит:
-Простите, учитель, я не сделал домашнее задание
Хитрый говорит:
-А моё задание съела собака
Тупой сказал:
-А я своё задание съел
Кореец:
-А я собаку съел. | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/541?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 258 | 0 | 1,710,517,116 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Тупой","lemma":"тупой","label":"PER","start_pos":177,"end_pos":182}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 39 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 9 | 3 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Почему шайбы в хокее чёрного цвета?
Потому что если бы были белыми, по ним бы никто не бил | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/542?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 250 | 0 | 1,710,623,019 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 2 | true |
122 | null | "Прueхалa кyмa к кyмy в деревню. Повел он ее погулять на прuроде. Проходят мuмо поля. Кум спрашuвает:
— Кума, а ты меня не боuшься?
— Нет, кум.
— Смотрu, а то я такой!
Заходят в лес. Кум снова спрашuвает:
— Kyмa, a ты мeня нe боuшься?
— Нет, кум.
— Смотрu, а то я такой!
Возвращаются назад. Кум спрашuвает:
— Кума, а ты меня не боuшься?
— Нет, кум.
— Смотрu, а то я такой!
— Ecлu бы я знaла, что ты такой, то надела бы трусы, а то комapы вcю ж@пy uскуcaлu!" | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/543?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 253 | 0 | 1,710,706,503 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Кум","lemma":"кум","label":"PER","start_pos":86,"end_pos":89},{"ner":"Кума","lemma":"кума","label":"PER","start_pos":104,"end_pos":108},{"ner":"Смотрu","lemma":"смотрu","label":"PER","start_pos":146,"end_pos":152},{"ner":"Кум","lemma":"кум","label":"PER","start_pos":183,"end_pos":186},{"ner":"Смотрu","lemma":"смотрu","label":"PER","start_pos":249,"end_pos":255},{"ner":"Кум","lemma":"кум","label":"PER","start_pos":291,"end_pos":294},{"ner":"Кума","lemma":"кума","label":"PER","start_pos":309,"end_pos":313},{"ner":"Смотрu","lemma":"смотрu","label":"PER","start_pos":351,"end_pos":357}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 93 | 0 | 0 | 0.978102 | 0.021898 | 0 | 1 | 13 | 12 | 0 | 13 | 2 | 42 | true |
122 | null | Звонит человек в техподдержку провайдера:
- Здравствуйте, я не могу войти в интернет!
- По какой причине?
- Компьютера у меня нет!
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
•
истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6106?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 7 | 0 | 1,732,377,607 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 29 | 0 | 0 | 0.97561 | 0.02439 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Учительница велела ученикам принести в школу медицинские
инструменты, кто что может: ножницы, пинцет, шприц...
Вовочка принес дыхательный аппарат. Учительница спрашивает:
- Вовочка, где ты его взял?
- У дедушки, - отвечает Вовочка.
- А что он тебе сказал?
- Ап-ап-ап...
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
•
истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6107?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 8 | 0 | 1,732,381,203 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":111,"end_pos":118}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 47 | 0 | 2 | 0.986487 | 0.013514 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 21 | 1 | 17 | true |
122 | null | - Никогда не пытайся понять, то чего не можешь понять!
- Не понял?
- И не пытайся!
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
•
истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6108?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 7 | 0 | 1,732,384,802 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 1 | 0.970588 | 0.029412 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Самолёт разбился в горах. В живых остались десять человек. Еды нет, спасателей нет - пришлось тянуть жребий, кого съесть первым. Вскоре осталось всего два человека. Один другому говорит:
- Слушай, нахер этот жребий. Я в пещере спрятал ящик с рыбными консервами.
Второй в шоке спрашивает:
- А зачем мы тогда наших товарищей ели?!
- А мне рыба не нравится.
😂
Анекдоты тут | https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/388?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot | 267 | 0 | 1,710,237,764 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 62 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 14 | 4 | 3 | 16 | 5 | 15 | true |
122 | null | Девушка парню:
— Илья, ты у меня такой хороший, добрый, ласковый, даришь мне цветы каждый день, ты никогда на меня не крикнешь и мы вообще даже ни разу не поругались. .. в общем, мне с тобой скучно и нам надо расстаться!
🤣
Анекдоты тут | https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/389?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot | 294 | 0 | 1,710,248,550 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Илья","lemma":"илья","label":"PER","start_pos":17,"end_pos":21}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 44 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 5 | 9 | 0 | 5 | 4 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Начальник нажимает на кнопку и говорит своей секретарше: "Леночка, два кофе, пожалуйста!"
Голос из динамика:
"Андрей Петрович, вы можете меня хотя бы на выходные оставить в покое? Отойдите от домофона!"
🤣
Анекдоты тут | https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/390?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot | 309 | 0 | 1,710,259,427 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Андрей Петрович","lemma":"андрей петрович","label":"PER","start_pos":110,"end_pos":125}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 33 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 1 | 11 | 2 | 13 | true |
122 | null | Мужик едет на машине. Внутренний голос говорит:
— Остановись и копай здесь!
Копает — опа! Нашел мешок золота! Едет дальше, внутренний голос говорит:
— Брось мешок в море.
Мужик думает: "сейчас выплывет 10 мешков". Бросил — ничего не всплыло!
А внутренний голос:
— Видал, как булькнуло!
🤣
Анекдоты тут | https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/391?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot | 291 | 0 | 1,710,270,129 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"10","lemma":"10","label":"NUM","start_pos":202,"end_pos":204}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 49 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 14 | 1 | 1 | 13 | 5 | 22 | true |
122 | null | Как будут комментировать драку негров в тёмном подвале?
– И вот кувшин разбился об воздух. | https://t.me/anegdotofff/941?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anegdotofff | 155 | 0 | 1,704,510,007 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 15 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Стоят на остановке парень в спортивках и бабушка.
– Сынок, куда двойка едет?
– Тебе в бороду, бабуль.
Ну и вырубил её нахуй че | https://t.me/anegdotofff/942?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anegdotofff | 143 | 0 | 1,704,517,212 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 1 | 7 | true |
122 | null | В Алабаме снова перепутали поезда и продали 20 кусков угля и сожгли 450кг негров. | https://t.me/anegdotofff/943?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anegdotofff | 145 | 0 | 1,704,524,420 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Алабаме","lemma":"алабама","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":9},{"ner":"20","lemma":"20","label":"NUM","start_pos":44,"end_pos":46},{"ner":"450","lemma":"450","label":"NUM","start_pos":68,"end_pos":71}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 14 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 1 | 1 | true |
122 | null | Ебет Эйнштейн Ньютона в сраку, а тот нарисовал на полу квадрат и посмеивается.
- Хули смешного, сука бля? Я твою жопу ебу
- Ты не мою жопу ебёшь) ты ебёшь ньютон на квадратный метр) ты ебешь Паскаля!
Паскаль все это видел, отвернулся и обиделся. | https://t.me/anegdotofff/944?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anegdotofff | 150 | 0 | 1,704,531,660 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Ебет Эйнштейн Ньютона","lemma":"ебет эйнштейн ньютон","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":21},{"ner":"ебёшь ньютон","lemma":"ебёшь ньютон","label":"PER","start_pos":149,"end_pos":161},{"ner":"Паскаля","lemma":"паскаль","label":"PER","start_pos":191,"end_pos":198}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 44 | 5 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 6 | 5 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 11 | true |
122 | null | — Ну, что подруга, где сейчас твой?
— Да, пошел, гуляет с собакой, а твой?
— Гуляет, собака…
👠 | https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4407?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh | 1 | 0 | 1,732,014,300 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Судья:
-Знаете ли вы, свидетель, что ожидает вас за дачу ложных показаний?
Свидетель:
-Да. Мне обещали «Волгу».
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| [{"ner":"Волгу","lemma":"волгу","label":"ORG","start_pos":104,"end_pos":109}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 12 | true |
122 | null | — Дорогая, за этим приятным ужином в этом шикарном ресторане, я хотел тебе сказать что-то очень-очень важное…
— Да!
— Займи косарь!
😝 | https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4409?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh | 1 | 0 | 1,732,028,700 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Займи","lemma":"займи","label":"PER","start_pos":118,"end_pos":123}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 5 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 8 | true |
122 | null | — Прикинь, мне моя сказала что, в постели я жадный и эгоистичный!
— А ты че?
— Да я как услышал, так чуть своим членом не подавился! | https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1196?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB | 1,200 | 0 | 1,685,278,305 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Прикинь","lemma":"прикинь","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":9}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 27 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Идут как-то два басиста по улице, один в кепке, а другого тоже не слышно | https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1197?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB | 1,200 | 0 | 1,685,518,703 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 14 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 2 | true |
122 | null | Пошли две женщины на ипподром. Стали думать, на какую лошадь поставить. Одна и спрашивает:
— У тебя какой номер лифчика?
— Ну третий.
— А у меня четвертый. Три плюс четыре — семь. Поставили на лошадь номер 7. Она и победила. Вернулись похвастались подругам-феминисткам, а те назавтра тоже на скачки двинули:
— Ты сколько гендеров знаешь?
— Тридцать два!
— А я сорок три!
Поставили на лошадь номер 75, но первой пришла лошадь номер 4. | https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1198?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB | 1,100 | 0 | 1,685,882,858 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"7","lemma":"7","label":"NUM","start_pos":206,"end_pos":207},{"ner":"75","lemma":"75","label":"NUM","start_pos":397,"end_pos":399},{"ner":"4","lemma":"4","label":"NUM","start_pos":431,"end_pos":432}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 75 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 13 | 5 | 12 | 17 | 1 | 24 | true |
122 | null | Очередь в поликлинике, открывается дверь кабинета, врач на весь коридор радостно сообщает:
— Согласно закону о защите персональных данных, мы не имеем право приглашать пациентов, называя их по имени. Женщина с вагинальными бородавками, заходите!
Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться | https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/300?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych | 318 | 0 | 1,710,158,570 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":258,"end_pos":266}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 38 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 7 | 2 | 0 | 15 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Мальчик становится мужчиной, когда на него перестают заглядываться священники.
Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться | https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/301?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych | 330 | 0 | 1,710,169,399 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":91,"end_pos":99}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 13 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Суббота. Евреи начинают расходиться из синагоги. К Семе подходит Наум и тихо просит
— Сема, как друга прошу, задержи ребе на часика полтора.
— Зачем?
— Да понимаешь, у меня свидание с его женой. Ну как мужчина мужчину, ты ж понимаешь.
Сема скрепя сердце соглашается. Дожидается когда раввин выходит из синагоги и к нему
— Ребе, здравствуйте.
— Сёма, мы уже здоровались сегодня.
— Я знаю, но мне надо с Вами поговорить.
— С чего это?
— Ну у меня есть вопрос.
— Какой вопрос?
— Ну это, хотел спросить. Короче..
— Сема, кого ты хочешь обмануть? Давай выкладывай, что случилось. Только по честному, Бог все видит.
— Ну если честно ребе, есть у меня друг, Наум
— Я знаю. И что?
— Он попросил меня задержать Вас, пока он трахает Вашу жену.
— Сема, беги домой. Я не женат.
Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться | https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/302?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych | 318 | 0 | 1,710,226,975 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Семе","lemma":"сема","label":"PER","start_pos":51,"end_pos":55},{"ner":"Наум","lemma":"наум","label":"PER","start_pos":65,"end_pos":69},{"ner":"Сема","lemma":"сема","label":"PER","start_pos":86,"end_pos":90},{"ner":"Сёма","lemma":"сёма","label":"PER","start_pos":344,"end_pos":348},{"ner":"Вами","lemma":"вами","label":"PER","start_pos":402,"end_pos":406},{"ner":"Сема","lemma":"сема","label":"PER","start_pos":511,"end_pos":515},{"ner":"Наум","lemma":"наум","label":"PER","start_pos":651,"end_pos":655},{"ner":"Сема","lemma":"сема","label":"PER","start_pos":736,"end_pos":740},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":778,"end_pos":786}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 144 | 1 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 31 | 23 | 1 | 20 | 7 | 54 | true |
122 | null | Сын генерала играет в солдатики:
— Пап, смотри, я тут правый фланг построил, а тут левый...
— Правильно, молодец сынок! А вот это наверно резерв притаился?
— Нет, это мне солдатики дачу строят...
Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться | https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/303?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych | 306 | 0 | 1,710,244,877 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":208,"end_pos":216}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 37 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 10 | 4 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Штирлиц дрался с огоньком, огонёк дрался как мог, мог был парень крутой, а крутая слабаков не жаловала | https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/10?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa | 23 | 0 | 1,690,557,160 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Штирлиц","lemma":"штирлиц","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":7}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Сдача экзамена по вождению. Инспектор: — Даю вводную. Вы управляете движущимся транспортным средством. Вдруг перед вами появляются две фигуры — девочка и старушка. Кого давить будете? — Гм. Ну, это. Старушку. — Тормоз! Тормоз давить надо!!! | https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/11?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa | 23 | 0 | 1,690,557,756 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Тормоз","lemma":"тормоз","label":"LOC","start_pos":211,"end_pos":217},{"ner":"Тормоз","lemma":"тормоз","label":"LOC","start_pos":219,"end_pos":225}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 4 | 1 | 10 | 2 | 18 | true |
122 | null | Два друга стоят в очереди. Один рассказывает анекдот: - Что делать, если у эпилептика начался приступ в ванне? Нужно бросить в воду грязное бельё и добавить стирального порошка! Посмеялись. Тут к ним поворачивается стоящий в очереди мужчина и укоризненно говорит: - Как вам не стыдно! У меня так племянник погиб... Носком подавился... | https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/8?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa | 23 | 0 | 1,690,537,669 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 52 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 12 | 4 | 2 | 13 | 6 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Мюллер вызывает Штирлица:
- Nennen eine beliebige zweistellige zahl.
- Чего блин? | https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/9?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa | 23 | 0 | 1,690,541,568 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Мюллер","lemma":"мюллер","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":6},{"ner":"Штирлица","lemma":"штирлица","label":"PER","start_pos":16,"end_pos":24}] | NEUTRAL | other | NOT SPAM | 12 | 0 | 0 | 0.705882 | 0.294118 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Муж из командировки-прямиком в спальню. Два часа с голоду имеет жену как может. Потом заходит на кухню, а там жена.
- Подожди, а кого-же я только что имел в спальне? - спрашивает муж.
Жена забегает в спальную и кричит:
- Мама почему ты не сказала, что это не я?
Теща отвечает:
- Ты же ведь знаешь доченька, что я с ним уже два года не разговариваю. | https://t.me/anekdronti/281?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdronti | 99 | 0 | 1,718,262,066 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 66 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 11 | 9 | 2 | 19 | 4 | 16 | true |
122 | null | -Доктор, я что, бесплоден?!
-Да, Иван Петрович, причем с рождения...
-Ой, беда!!! И как же я теперь своей жене скажу, что наши дети не от меня? | https://t.me/anekdronti/282?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdronti | 100 | 0 | 1,718,272,866 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Иван Петрович","lemma":"иван петрович","label":"PER","start_pos":33,"end_pos":46}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 16 | true |
122 | null | Приехал Вовочка с отцом в лес. Сидят, жарят сосиски, разговаривают.
— Папа, я хочу срать.
— Не стесняйся! Мы в лесу — сри где хочешь и ничего тебе за это не будет!
Через некоторое время Вовочка возвращается.
— Ну что, где ты это сделал?
— В твоей машине. | https://t.me/anekdronti/283?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdronti | 109 | 0 | 1,718,280,066 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":8,"end_pos":15},{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":186,"end_pos":193}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 48 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 8 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 17 | true |
122 | null | Мужик едет на встречу, опаздывает, нервничает, не может найти место
припарковаться. Поднимает лицо к небу и говорит:
— Господи, помоги мне найти место для парковки. Я тогда брошу пить и
буду каждое воскресенье ходить в церковь!
Вдруг чудесным образом появляется свободное местечко. Мужик снова
обращается к небу:
— А, всё, не надо. Нашёл! | https://t.me/anekdronti/284?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/anekdronti | 114 | 0 | 1,718,294,466 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Господи","lemma":"господи","label":"PER","start_pos":119,"end_pos":126}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 53 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 14 | 3 | 0 | 15 | 4 | 16 | true |
122 | null | Пpиxoдят к пpoфecсорy двa студента экзамен сдавать. По комбинаторике. В те еще времена. Домой пришли к профессору. Ну, сдавали, сдавали, за картами засиделись, за костями игральными, стемнело. А в то время и студенты, и профессора были бедные, домой их не отправишь, пришлось спать укладывать в профессорской трехкомнатной квартире. В одной комнате — два студента, в другой — профессор с женой, в третьей — профессорская дочь. Все чин по чину, спят.
Просыпается студент, думает, а хрен ли я с этим придурком лежу, пойду-ка профессорскую дочь навещу. Глядь в одну комнату — двеголовы из под oдeялa тopчaт, нy тo пpoфессор с женой, глядь в другую — одна головa. Дoчкa! Юpк к ней под одеяло, спят.
Нe cпитcя и професcoру. Вcтает среди ночи, дай, думает, к дочке перелягу, мало ли что от этих балбесов ждать. Шнырь в одну комнату, две головы, — ага, студенты, шнырь в другую — одна, дочка, не иначе. Прыг — спит.
Ну, тута и второй студент проснулся, и, как вы уже догадались, отправился по стопам друга, на поиски профессорской дочки.
Утро. Просыпается профессор. Один. В комнате студентов. Хм... Заглядывает в одну комнату — там студент с дочкой, в другую — студент с женой. Чешет репу:
— Скoлько лет пpeподаю кoмбинаторику, но таких бл#дскиx пepecтaновок ещe нe видeл!!!
@batin_mood | https://t.me/batin_mood/1022?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/batin_mood | 851 | 0 | 1,706,763,603 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Глядь","lemma":"глядь","label":"PER","start_pos":550,"end_pos":555},{"ner":"Юpк","lemma":"юpк","label":"PER","start_pos":667,"end_pos":670},{"ner":"бл#дскиx","lemma":"бл#дскиx","label":"ORG","start_pos":1231,"end_pos":1239}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 209 | 1 | 4 | 0.996403 | 0.003597 | 0 | 13 | 28 | 5 | 8 | 67 | 11 | 72 | true |
122 | null | Великая Отечественная. Захватывают немцы глухую русскую деревню, выстроили всех и командир говорит:
— Всех мужчин мы расстреляем..., но у женщин есть возможность спасти своих мужей. Мы выстроим мужиков в ряд, снимем им штаны,вам завяжем глаза, а вы по х#ю должны определить, кто ваш муж!
Делать нечего, бабы согласно закивали. Построили мужиков, спустили штаны, первая пошла.
— Так этот не мой, это не мой, это не мой, о вот он мой!
Следующая:
— Этот не мой, этот не мой, о вот он мой!
Так несколько баб прошло, командир думает: Не так дело не пойдет, мы же никого не расстреляем! Решили поставить между русскими несколько немецких солдат. Поставили. Пошла следующая:
— Так, этот не мой, этот не мой, этот не мой, этот вообще не с нашей деревни...
@batin_mood | https://t.me/batin_mood/1023?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/batin_mood | 867 | 0 | 1,706,792,403 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"х#ю","lemma":"х#ю","label":"LOC","start_pos":252,"end_pos":255}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 126 | 0 | 0 | 0.994152 | 0.005848 | 0 | 9 | 24 | 13 | 2 | 22 | 5 | 40 | true |
122 | null | Едyт в кyпе мyжчина и женщина. Разговорились. Мужчина говорит:
— У меня такое предчувствие, что в данный момент моя жена мне изменяет!
Женщина говорит:
— И у меня такое же чувство, что и мой муж мне не верен.
— А давайте им отомcтим!
Oтомcтили, мyжчина отвернулся к стенке и спит. Женщина посмотрела на него, растолкала и говорит:
— Я бы на вашем месте, мстила, мстила и мстила!
— A я нe злoпaмятный!
@batin_mood | https://t.me/batin_mood/1024?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/batin_mood | 804 | 0 | 1,706,821,205 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Едyт","lemma":"едyт","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":4},{"ner":"мyжчина","lemma":"мyжчина","label":"PER","start_pos":12,"end_pos":19}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 73 | 0 | 5 | 0.979592 | 0.020408 | 0 | 3 | 14 | 8 | 0 | 13 | 0 | 22 | true |
122 | null | Жeнщинa в пoчтeннoм вoзpacтe cтoялa нa пaлубe pocкoшнoгo лaйнepa, в oжидaнии пpeкpacныx oщущeний oт кpуизa.
Beтep был тaкoй cилы, чтo дaмe пpишлocь удepживaть cвoю шляпу двумя pукaми.
Oдин xopoшo oдeтый и вocпитaнный мужчинa, увидeв эту кapтину, пoдoшeл к лeди.
To, чтo oн пpoизнёc, зacтaвилo oбepнутьcя ocтaльныx пaccaжиpoв.
Уcтaвившиcь нa coбeceдникoв, люди oткpыли глaзa oт удивлeния и cмexa...
Boт eгo cлoвa: Пpocтитe, мaдaм. Я нe xoчу быть нaвязчивым, нo знaeтe ли вы, чтo вaшe плaтьe пoднимaeтcя oт пopывoв cильнoгo вeтpa?
Дa, я знaю, — cкaзaлa лeди, — нo мнe нужны oбe pуки, чтoбы удepжaть эту шляпу.
Ho, мaдaм, вы нe нocитe нижнeгo бeлья, и вaши интимныe чacти тeлa пoдвepгaютcя вceoбщeму oбoзpeнию! — cкaзaл джeнтльмeн.
Жeнщинa пocмoтpeлa вниз, пoтoм oпять нa мужчину и oтвeтилa: Cэp, тoму, чтo вы видитe тaм, — ужe 85 лeт. A эту шляпку я тoлькo вчepa купилa.
@batin_mood | https://t.me/batin_mood/1025?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/batin_mood | 857 | 0 | 1,706,850,002 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"oжидaнии","lemma":"oжидaнии","label":"ORG","start_pos":68,"end_pos":76},{"ner":"вчepa купилa","lemma":"вчepa купилa","label":"PER","start_pos":856,"end_pos":868},{"ner":"85","lemma":"85","label":"NUM","start_pos":826,"end_pos":828}] | POSITIVE | other | NOT SPAM | 140 | 0 | 2 | 0.886487 | 0.113514 | 0 | 7 | 11 | 6 | 2 | 35 | 1 | 39 | true |
122 | null | #мудрости_Бруни | https://t.me/bunnybayki/3090?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/bunnybayki | 62 | 0 | 1,731,919,951 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | true |
122 | null | 👆
Тыц на треугольник, господа и дамы
Вовочка с папой сидят, деревянными ложками из миски, борщ хлебают. Ну тут училка приходит. Ну, папа ей открыл. Она заходит...
🤣
Зря я этот анекдот в школе не знала | https://t.me/bunnybayki/3091?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/bunnybayki | 83 | 0 | 1,731,921,282 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 3 | 0 | 11 | 2 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Порнозвезда приносит шефу заявление об увольнении "по собственному желанию".
- Что случилось?
- Заебали! | https://t.me/dimonster69/163?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/dimonster69 | 16 | 0 | 1,712,754,804 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 14 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Любовник пришел к даме. Неожиданно возвращается муж. Жена запирает любовника в шкаф. Ложатся спать. Вдруг ночью начинается пожар. Муж с женой мечутся по квартире:
— Что делать? Что делать? Любовник из шкафа:
— Выносите мебель! | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/834?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 111 | 0 | 1,713,780,757 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 35 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 2 | 0 | 14 | 2 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Муж уехал на курорт и шлет жене телеграмму за телеграммой: «Продай телевизор, вышли денег», «… продай пианино, вышли денег» и т.д. Муж возвращается, жена едет на курорт: «Высылаю деньги, купи телевизор», «… высылаю деньги, купи пианино» и т.д. | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/835?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 112 | 0 | 1,713,780,920 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 38 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 0 | 0 | 16 | 0 | 21 | true |
122 | null | Пришел муж пьяный, говорит жене:
— Дай попить! Она наливает ему стакан сока.
Он: — Мне нужен свежевыжатый! Она выливает сок на стол, вытирает его тряпкой, выжимает обратно в стакан…
— На, пей с*ка, не обляпайся… | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/836?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 98 | 0 | 1,713,867,382 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 9 | 6 | 1 | 8 | 1 | 15 | true |
122 | null | Жена: — У вас, у мужиков, на уме только с..кс, а нам, женщинам, нужно внимание…
Муж: — Внимание, сейчас будет с..кс! | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/837?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 101 | 0 | 1,713,867,383 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"кс","lemma":"кс","label":"ORG","start_pos":43,"end_pos":45},{"ner":"кс!","lemma":"кс!","label":"ORG","start_pos":113,"end_pos":116}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 9 | 1 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Любовник пришел к женщине. Неожиданно возвращается муж. Жена прячет его на балконе. Муж сидит обедает, любовник мерзнет. Совсем замерз. Стучится, муж открывает балконную дверь:
— Понимаете, был этажом выше у дамы, неожиданно муж пришел. Я спустился к вам.
— Ну, это дело житейское, с кем не бывает. Муж накормил любовника, напоил водкой, расстались друзьями. Ночью, ложась спать, говорит жене:
— Слушай! Но ведь наш этаж—то – последний! | https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/838?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs | 107 | 0 | 1,713,867,383 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 67 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 20 | 6 | 0 | 20 | 3 | 28 | true |
122 | null | Рабинович в гостях уплетает ложкой черную икру.
— Рабинович, это между прочим не лапша…
— О чем ви говорите, никакого сравнения! | https://t.me/likeandsmile/112?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/likeandsmile | 20 | 0 | 1,666,078,650 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Рабинович","lemma":"рабинович","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":9},{"ner":"Рабинович","lemma":"рабинович","label":"PER","start_pos":50,"end_pos":59}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Кит плавает вокруг самки и ворчит:
— Сколько стран, сотни экологических организаций, выдающиеся политические лидеры, миллионы людей — все они борются за то, чтобы наш вид выжил, а ты мне говоришь — голова болит. | https://t.me/likeandsmile/113?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/likeandsmile | 22 | 0 | 1,666,085,138 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 34 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 4 | 1 | 10 | 0 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Аннет с бабушкой пошли в лес за грибами. Девочка нашла гриб—подосиновик. Бабушка сказала:
— Аннет, ищи рядом, эти грибы семьями растут!
Девочка ответила:
— А вдруг он холостой? | https://t.me/likeandsmile/114?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/likeandsmile | 28 | 0 | 1,666,091,798 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Аннет","lemma":"аннет","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":5}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 11 | 2 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Шахматист попал в больницу. К нему подходит лечащий врач.
— Вам надо сдать все анализы.
— Простите, доктор, я бы хотел их сначала опубликовать! | https://t.me/likeandsmile/115?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/likeandsmile | 31 | 0 | 1,666,173,362 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Идет заяц по лесу, навстречу ему медведь.
- Заяц, давай волка подколем!?
- Давай, а как?
- Ты подойди к нему и спроси, волк, а ты летал на вертолёте? А дальше моя забота.
Заяц подходит к волку и говорит:
- Волк, а ты летал на вертолёте?
- Нет, а что?
Тут из кустов выходит медведь, насаживает волка на свою шишку и как крутанёт:
- Полетееел!!!!
Через месяц медведь опять зайца встречает:
- Заяц, волк из больницы выписался. Подколем?
- Давай, а как?
- Ты подойди к нему и спроси, волк, а ты плавал на лодке? А дальше моя забота.
Подходит заяц к волку и говорит:
- Волк, а ты плавал на лодке?
Волк испуганно:
- Не плавал я ни на какой лодке!
Из кустов выходит медведь, волка на шишку свою насаживает и говорит:
- НА ВЕРТОЛЁТЕ ПРИВЫЧНЕЙ, ДА? | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/134?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 264 | 0 | 1,710,129,576 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 138 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 22 | 12 | 0 | 46 | 8 | 44 | true |
122 | null | Маляр красит стенку в сумашедшем
доме . Подходит псих:
-Ты крепко за кисточку держишься?
-Да - отвечает тот.
-Тогда я лестницу забираю | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/135?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 244 | 0 | 1,710,136,776 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Маляр","lemma":"маляр","label":"ORG","start_pos":0,"end_pos":5}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 22 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Подходит бабка к панку на улице:
– Скажи, сынок, как пройти на улицу Горького?
Панк отвечает:
– Во-первых не сынок, а чувак. Во-вторых не пройти, а бросить кости. И в-третьих не улица Горького, а Пешков-Стрит.
– Спасибо, сынок.
Идет она дальше, видит милиционера:
– Эй, чувак, как бросить кости на Пешков-Стрит?
– Хипуешь, плесень? | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/136?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 256 | 0 | 1,710,147,575 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Горького","lemma":"горький","label":"LOC","start_pos":69,"end_pos":77},{"ner":"Горького","lemma":"горький","label":"LOC","start_pos":184,"end_pos":192},{"ner":"Пешков-Стрит","lemma":"пешков-стрит","label":"PER","start_pos":196,"end_pos":208},{"ner":"Пешков-Стрит","lemma":"пешков-стрит","label":"LOC","start_pos":298,"end_pos":310}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 54 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 1 | 0 | 16 | 12 | 25 | true |
122 | null | Пилот самолёта при приземлении решил подшутить над диспетчером:
-Угадай кто?
Диспетчер отключая все огни на посадочной полосе:
-Угадай куда? | https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/137?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat | 260 | 0 | 1,710,158,376 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 1 | 6 | true |
122 | null |
Священник-миссионер провел много лет среди аборигенов,
обучая их религии, сельскому хозяйству и строительству.
И вот пришло время уезжать. Тут миссионер вспомнил,
что фактически не учил аборигенов разговорному английскому языку.
Он взял с собой вождя и они пошли в лес.
— Это дерево, — сказал миссионер. Вождь повторил:
"Дерево". Указав на камень, миссионер сказал: "Камень".
"Камень" — повторил вождь. И тут какие-то странные звуки
донеслись из кустов. Подойдя, они увидели мужчину,
тр@хающего стонавшую от удовольствия аборигенку.
Падре, очень смущенный, быстро произнес:
— Ехать на велосипеде. Вождь взглянул на парочку,
взял копье — и проткнул обоих. Падре в отчаянии.
Столько времени обучал их добру и нравственности,
и тут на тебе. Такое зверство. — Как ты мог?!
— обратился он к вождю. — Велосипед... мой...
@shutkaru | https://t.me/shutkaru/2262?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/shutkaru | 31 | 0 | 1,724,840,700 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 124 | 0 | 2 | 0.994595 | 0.005405 | 0 | 7 | 25 | 7 | 2 | 38 | 8 | 49 | true |
122 | null |
Выходит утром гаишник на дорогу, голова после вчерашнего раскалывается.
Смотрит - джип несется. Ну он остановил его с целью сбора средств
на опохмел. Смотрит, а там бомж сидит. Документы проверил - правда,
бомжа машина. Ну мент его спрашивает:
- Ты же бомж. Ты где такую крутую тачку взял?
- А мне пьяные новые русские предложили, если я их рассмешу - джип мой.
Ну я их и рассмешил.
- А как?
- Да я одному лысому на голову насрал, у него сразу волосы выросли,
вот умора была.
Мент шапку снимает, там лысина. Он и говорит:
- А ты мне так насрать можешь?
- Могу.
Бомж срет менту на лысину, a из кустов раздается хохот и крик:
- Не, ну ваще, да я ему еще и хату подарю.
@shutkaru | https://t.me/shutkaru/2263?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/shutkaru | 35 | 0 | 1,724,854,200 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 128 | 1 | 3 | 0.988372 | 0.011628 | 0 | 5 | 21 | 16 | 1 | 36 | 8 | 37 | true |
122 | null | Вторая Мировая Война. Сидят в штабе американских войск еврей,
мусульманин и католик - охраняют план высадки в Нормандии.
В карты играть запрещается, во время дежурства отлучаться
запрещается - короче, скукота. Нарисовали карты, сидят, играют.
Только убрали карты, входит полковник:
- В карты играли?
- Никак нет!
Подходит к католику: - Вероисповедание?
- Католик.
- Клянись на Библии, что не играл!
- Клянусь!
Подходит к мусульманину:
- Вероисповедание?
- Мусульманин.
- Клянись на Коране, что не играл!
- Клянусь!
Подходит к еврею: - Вероисповедание?
- Еврей.
- Клянись на Торе, что не играл!
- Господин полковник, католик не играл, мусульманин не играл.
Так с кем же я мог играть?!
@shutkaru | https://t.me/shutkaru/2264?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/shutkaru | 39 | 0 | 1,724,901,000 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Мировая Война","lemma":"мировой война","label":"PER","start_pos":7,"end_pos":20},{"ner":"Нормандии","lemma":"нормандия","label":"LOC","start_pos":110,"end_pos":119},{"ner":"Торе","lemma":"тора","label":"PER","start_pos":574,"end_pos":578}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 109 | 0 | 2 | 0.993939 | 0.006061 | 0 | 3 | 25 | 2 | 0 | 38 | 4 | 42 | true |
122 | null | Обладательница изысканных манер, изящной непосредственности и редкого чувства такта, до сих пор не может понять, где и как, твою мать! всем этим пользоваться.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/6455?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 43 | 0 | 1,732,264,626 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":176,"end_pos":180}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 3 | 6 | true |
122 | null | "Хотите получать больше, работайте больше! " – говорят люди, которые, чтобы получать больше, просто повышают себе зарплату.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/6456?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 44 | 0 | 1,732,268,227 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":141,"end_pos":145}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 22 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Судя по выражениям "уставший, как собака", "голодный, как собака", "побитый как собака", быть лучшим другом человека — совсем непросто...
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/6457?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 42 | 0 | 1,732,275,427 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":155,"end_pos":159}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 1 | 13 | true |
122 | null | Жена мужу:
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Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/6458?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 88 | 0 | 1,732,279,028 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":108,"end_pos":112}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 9 | true |
122 | null | В переполненном лифте девушка шёпотом спрашивает у подруги:
- А сзади меня кто стоит?
- Молодой парень.
- Я чувствую, что молодой, а он хоть симпатичный? | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/514?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 37 | 0 | 1,712,306,082 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Встречаются две блондинки:
— Привет, как дела?
— Да вот, у окулиста была.
— И что он сказал?
— Сказал, чтобы алфавит сначала выучила, а потом приходила. | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/515?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 25 | 0 | 1,713,524,515 | 1,732,738,895 | 191 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 27 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 13 | true |
122 | null | Сегодня в лицее просто роковая встреча - случайно задеваю девушку в коридоре, она роняет учебники. Мы оба начинаем подбирать их, и наши взгляды встречаются. Я говорю:
- Прямо как в кино!
Отвечает:
- Да, только в кино он - красавчик! | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/516?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 28 | 0 | 1,713,714,017 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 40 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 5 | 1 | 11 | 3 | 11 | true |
122 | null | - Чего у тебя фингал под глазом?
- Понимаешь, на остановке автобуса увидел девушку, у которой платье забилось в попу. Я взял и потихоньку вытаскивать начал.
- Оно тебе надо было?
- Я тоже потом так подумал и пальцем начал запихивать обратно. | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/517?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 23 | 0 | 1,713,769,811 | 1,732,738,895 | 172 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 42 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 6 | 11 | true |
122 | null | — Алле, это техподдержка!?
— Да, говорите...
— Подскажите, как подсоединить без проводов ноутбук к телевизору, чтобы фильмы посмотреть?
— Какая марка телевизора?
— "Рекорд-312".
— Скотчем мотайте, прямо по центру экрана... | https://t.me/smehaha_tg/518?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg | 26 | 0 | 1,713,856,211 | 1,732,738,895 | 171 | 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| [{"ner":"Алле","lemma":"алле","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":6},{"ner":"Рекорд-312","lemma":"рекорд-312","label":"ORG","start_pos":165,"end_pos":175},{"ner":"312","lemma":"312","label":"NUM","start_pos":172,"end_pos":175}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 32 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 10 | 2 | 20 | true |
122 | null | Один мотоциклист сбил воробья. Смотрит, а птица жива, только без сознания, пожалел он ее, принес домой, положил в клетку, налил воды, положил хлеба. Воробей пришел в себя, смотрит вокруг и думает: "Немного воды, немного хлеба, решетка... Я в тюрьме. О боже, я сбил мотоциклиста!!!" | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/535?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 250 | 0 | 1,710,122,725 | 1,732,738,896 | 210 | 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| [{"ner":"Воробей","lemma":"воробей","label":"PER","start_pos":149,"end_pos":156}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 44 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 11 | 5 | 1 | 13 | 4 | 21 | true |
122 | null | Почему горилла-алкоголик так любит своего маленького ребенка? Потому что он горилка | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/536?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 263 | 0 | 1,710,142,838 | 1,732,738,896 | 209 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 11 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 1 | true |
122 | null | После первой брачной ночи жена отправляет мужа в магазин за Рафаэлками. Тот спрашивает в дверях:
- А сколько брать-то?
- Ну, возьми столько, сколько раз ты любил меня этой ночью.
Муж идет в магазин, вспоминая по пути и загибая пальцы, приходит и говорит продавщице:
- Будьте добры, нубук, вифи, блюпуп и фрешку
- Охрана! | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/537?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 267 | 0 | 1,710,163,010 | 1,732,738,896 | 209 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 5 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 1 | true |
122 | null | 1700-1800 года. Приехали русские в Калифорнию, там индейцы. По-английски говорят, ну русские и взяли переводчика с собой. Приходят, говорят вождю через переводчика:
-Значится так, либо золото, либо мы вас вырежем всех
Ну индеец говорит:
-Whole Cost?
-Холокост, так холокост | https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/539?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR | 263 | 0 | 1,710,327,984 | 1,732,738,896 | 192 | 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| [{"ner":"Калифорнию","lemma":"калифорния","label":"LOC","start_pos":35,"end_pos":45},{"ner":"00-18","lemma":"00-18","label":"DATE","start_pos":2,"end_pos":7},{"ner":"1700","lemma":"1700","label":"NUM","start_pos":0,"end_pos":4},{"ner":"1800","lemma":"1800","label":"NUM","start_pos":5,"end_pos":9}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 39 | 0 | 0 | 0.966102 | 0.033898 | 0 | 3 | 7 | 4 | 0 | 10 | 6 | 15 | true |
122 | null | - Доброе утро, уважаемые радиослушатели! Вы только что прослушали передачу о безопасности приближающейся к нашей Галактике черной дыры. В Москве по-прежнему 7 часов 51 минута.
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
•
истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6101?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 8 | 0 | 1,732,359,607 | 1,732,738,896 | 210 | 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| [{"ner":"Москве","lemma":"москва","label":"LOC","start_pos":138,"end_pos":144},{"ner":"7","lemma":"7","label":"NUM","start_pos":157,"end_pos":158},{"ner":"51","lemma":"51","label":"NUM","start_pos":165,"end_pos":167}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 32 | 0 | 1 | 0.97619 | 0.02381 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 10 | 3 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Разговаривают два алкаша:
- Представляешь, я раз аж 6 лет не пил.
- Да ну, и как? Что потом?
- А потом я пошел в школу.
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
•
истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6102?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 6 | 0 | 1,732,363,203 | 1,732,738,896 | 209 | 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| [{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":52,"end_pos":53}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 33 | 0 | 1 | 0.978723 | 0.021277 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 8 | 3 | 11 | true |
122 | null | По улице идут двое пьяных, навстречу им толпа.
- Давай им врежем, - предложил один.
- Ну да... А если они нам?
- А нам-то за что?!
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
•
истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6103?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 7 | 0 | 1,732,366,802 | 1,732,738,896 | 209 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 34 | 0 | 2 | 0.980392 | 0.019608 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 8 | 1 | 7 | 1 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Билл Гейтс зашел в кафе, заказал еду и только собрался есть, как его стали выгонять. "Что такое", - возмутился Билл. "Я покушать пришел". "Извините", - говорят ему. "Кафе выполнило недопустимую ошибку. Просим покинуть помещение."
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
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истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6104?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 8 | 0 | 1,732,370,407 | 1,732,738,896 | 192 | 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| [{"ner":"Билл Гейтс","lemma":"билл гейтс","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":10},{"ner":"Билл","lemma":"билл","label":"PER","start_pos":111,"end_pos":115}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 41 | 0 | 1 | 0.984127 | 0.015873 | 0 | 1 | 14 | 4 | 0 | 8 | 2 | 20 | true |
122 | null | Жена приносит домой ливерную колбасу.
- Зачем ты ее купила - спрашивает ее муж - Этой колбасой
теперь кормят только домашних животных.
- Знаешь, дорогой, не гавкай!
Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp
чат
•
истории | https://t.me/Stories100500/6105?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Stories100500 | 8 | 0 | 1,732,374,002 | 1,732,738,896 | 192 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 34 | 0 | 0 | 0.978261 | 0.021739 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 3 | 0 | 9 | 3 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Сидит чукча на суку и его пилит у основания. Мимо идет геолог:
— Свалишься!
— Неа!
— Ну как знаешь.
Допилил чукча сук, свалился. Подумал:
— Шаман, однако!
🤣
Анекдоты тут | https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/383?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot | 276 | 0 | 1,710,162,172 | 1,732,738,896 | 210 | 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| [{"ner":"Неа","lemma":"неа","label":"PER","start_pos":78,"end_pos":81},{"ner":"Шаман","lemma":"шаман","label":"PER","start_pos":140,"end_pos":145}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 4 | 15 | true |
122 | null | Разговаривают два сперматозоида:
— Вот, когда вырасту — стану летчиком!
— А я когда вырасту — буду артистом!
Подплывает еще один:
— Хватит трепатся, нас обманули— мы в заднице!
🤣
Анекдоты тут | https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/384?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot | 297 | 0 | 1,710,172,985 | 1,732,738,896 | 209 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 32 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 7 | 2 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Если подчинённые перестали смеяться над шутками начальника- значит, прошёл слух, что его скоро снимут.
🤣
Анекдоты тут | https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/385?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot | 284 | 0 | 1,710,183,704 | 1,732,738,896 | 209 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 4 | true |
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