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i said get the hell out of here all right all right thank you very much tonight is a very special night for all of us here because were celebrating finishing our 25th episode so thanks to everybody at home and here who helped to make the show a success now lets get out of here see you next week d you can do what you wanna do d d in living colord d in living colord d you can do what you wanna do d d in living colord d in living colord d in living colord d in living colord d you can do what you wanna do d d in living colord d in living colord d you can do what you wanna do d d in living colord d in living colord d in living colord d in living colord d in living colord d you can do what you wanna do d d in living colord d in living colord d you can do what you wanna do d d in living colord d in living colordd aw there there isnt he just so cute that you want to crypt keeper here kiddies and speaking of kiddies tonights sickening saga should be subtitled a tale from the crib yes fear fans ive got a real nursery crime for you this time
its all about the humble beginnings of my favorite horror hero so call the babysitter and break out the barf bags as i narrate a nauseating novella with a very special place in my heart i affectionately call this one lower berth guess your weight guess your weight ladies and gentlemen boys and girls step right up and be prepared to gasp to swoon to feast your disbelieving eyes on the most astounding array of freaks and oddities ever gathered together under one tent see the piteous products of gods twisted sense of humor view with your very eyes the alarming consequences of natures most heinous miscalculations witness if you dare the results of the most unnatural inbreeding man or monster human or horror you be the judge and jury see fanny the fat lady pay a visit to the littles
a family so small they live in a shoe box witness the stupefying skull face a living human skeleton and finally our star attraction the amazing enoch a display so bizarre you have to see it with your very selfsame eyes to believe it so ladies and gentlemen boys and girls step right up right this way for one thin dime a tenth part of a dollar you may avail yourself of this fantastic exhibit right this way sir watch your step dont rush therell be plenty of room for all and we shall have repeated showings until every man woman and child can avail themselves of this interesting and educational exhibit step lightly sir thats the idea feeleys fantastic fairway of freaks show time now beginning
what do you think youre doing youre a naughty boy you hear me come on get up come on come on introducing fanny the fat lady come on now get in there go on stay there you hear ladies and gentlemen meet the littles howd you get out of there tell me and finally ladies and gentlemen the star attraction at feeleys fantastic fairway of freaks the most alarming and unusual oddity ever to be put on display anywhere anytime anyplace now no more now no more ladies and gentlemen boys and girls look upon enoch the 2faced man
i cant see how many times sickles how many times do i have to tell you to get him in his cage before show time yes sir mr feeley i dont know how he gets out it wont happen again of that you may be sure mr sickles because the next time it does happen then i shall be happy to discuss with you the retirement of your most amazing enoch now wait a minute mr feeley without me and enoch youre no different than any other 2bit sideshow hes the only thing you got thats different enoch is special enoch is dying did you really think you could bribe the company doctor to keep it from me well apparently your freak isnt the only one with 2 faces is he no sickles your meal tickets godforsaken life is winding toward a merciful end so please dont tell me how much i need you well play it out as long as it takes
a month a week but as long as you own him then i own you and we do things my way understand mr sickles understand mr sickles youve been a very naughty boy enoch you hear me naughty boy enochs special i see you prefer a lower berth who are you howd you get in here the door mr sickles call me unconventional how about i call a policeman oh i dont think you want to do that oh no why not because mr sickles im your salvation thats why dr zachary kling at your service dont let me interrupt your supperat your service you say what kind of service may that be
well lets not be coy mr sickles i overheard your shall we say altercation with the owner it seems your days here may be numbered do correct me if im wrong well what of it well it just so happens i have recently made an acquisition an acquisition from which we both might benefit if you take my meaning if you take my meaning what kind of an acquisition ha ha ha are you a card player mr sickles now and again myself i must confess to a certain shall we say zealousy for games of chance dr kling i was playing a gentlemen in st louis recently as it happens a gentlemen of distinction on 2 counts one he was an archeologist by trade and secondly he couldnt play poker for shit when it became clear that this gentlemen was going to owe me quite a large sum of money
not strictly in his possession it became eminently clear that something of equal worth would have to be bartered as collateral would have to be bartered as collateral her name is mirana mr sickles though i prefer myrna dont you an egyptian slave girl it was explained to me buried alive at 16 for repelling the pharaohs advances rather a high price for playing hard to get wouldnt you say never able to love never able to bear children never able to have a normal life its sad really do we have a deal or not whats the catch im afraid i dont follow you this is a business of playing people for suckers dont play me for one what do you need me for why dont you go straight to feeley mr sickles as i said im a gambling man i play to win and winners tend to make enemies if you take my meaning
in all candor i need to keep a low profile for a while the less official my connection with the sideshow the better what about the jewels oh completely worthless mr sickles a mere prop a mere prop consider yourself my agent if you like i think a 40 commission is more than equitable i mean after all considering your present situation ha ha lets drink to it shall we dont mind if i do step right up ladies and gentlemen boys and girls and avail yourself of this interesting exhibit thats the idea hurry along lads here we are sir thats the idea myrna the mummy myrna the mummy and we will have further showings
to accommodate you all step right in sir thats the idea feeleys fantastic fairway of freaks show time now beginning heres myrna come on im going as fast as i can stand clear of the fire eater ha ha ha ha come here come here elizabeth get over here now just what do you think youre doing young lady now you stay away from that thing enoch you naughty boy whats that you got there give it to me i said give it to me give it give it well ill be blown to hell youre carrying a torch for that old bag of bones arent you
you sick pathetic its a family you want is it hmm is that it a normal life ha ha ha a normal life ha ha ha a family ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hapriceless egyptian mummy stolenpriceless egyptian mummy stolen look at that look at that aint that a show hey i wanna talk to you one should never argue with lady luck now should one we need to talk doctor just a few more hands mr sickles deal me out gentlemen go in there start explaining doctor
of course youre upset you have every right to be upset you didnt win that mummy in any card game you stole it off a boat in new orleans you stole it off a boat in new orleans why didnt you just take the damn thing now look you dont understand theres a curse you must be kidding no its true whoever attempts to take that necklace will be rendered rendered what you know unable to procreate if you take my meaning if you take my meaning ha ha ha you mean whoever takes the family jewels loses theirs ill take my chances no mr sickles youre not listening to me i hired a man to take that necklace off that night i found him he was castrated well too bad your father wasnt
if you take mymeaning mr sickles good god sickles center up boys come on 20 minutes to showtime lets go enoch my boy seems like youve gotten out of your cage again doesnt it and youve been a very naughty boy havent you poor dr kling ah myrna my sweet you two make a very lovely couple did i tell you that ah now give me this come on honey let me have her dear come on let go come on you do play hard to get dont you come on you do play hard to get dont you and now ladies and gentlemen
feeleys fantastic fairway of freaks is proud to present a most unusual and alarming oddity the amazing enoch the 2faced man its empty he escaped hes gone he cheated us theres nothin there its a fraud eh rather let me direct your attention to our star attraction from far off egypt she comes uh from the valley of the kings her tomb carved deep in the cliffs that overlook the ancient river nile inside that very tomb hieroglyphics tell a tragic tale once young and beautiful she spurned pharaohs advances and was condemned to death wrapped in ceremonial windings she was buried alive and placed in this very selfsame sarcophagus
ladies and gentlemen boys and girls i command you to look upon myrna the egyptian mummy call a policeman its all right oh god dead or alive come on thats it im looking for mr feeley the owner oh mr feeley yeah ernest feeley yeah hes uh hes right over there next to the wagons right over there thank you are you ernest feeley the owner im sheriff hicks well if its about the permit i have one i assure you no sir its not about any permit
do you mind if i sit mr feeley you may not remember me but we met when you came through here with your sideshow last year you had some unpleasantness at the time i never did recover my exhibits well sir thats kind of why im here theres something i think you ought to see now the local boy was up and exploring and he came across this cave here when he saw what was inside he came and got us mr feeley good lord ha ha ha ha ha ha oh sorry kiddies but that story just makes me go all to pieces i was a cute little terror tyke though wasnt i as for enoch and myrna i guess you figured out by now where i get my good looks old 2face was my daddy and the mummy was my mommy oh if theyd only lived long enough to see me
become a star we never even got a chance to play hide and go shriek together joe campbell voiceover well were leaving that all behind both of us just for a few days im just passing through he works back there in one of those pinstriped buildings he sells stock now his name is fletcher fletcher cain if he couldnt add it subtract it multiply or divide it fletcher wouldnt know what the hell to do with it dont get me wrong i love the guy it was great to see him again this was the hunting trip wed always promised ourselves before wed gone off our separate ways college the army time flies i hadnt seen him in years and it was to perfect day the sunshine the birds like kind of like god was looking down on us and the city didnt even exist i had spent a lot of time back in these woods i loved it here to me the trees were like home
but to fletcher like always a tree was something that grew in the front yard for a dog to piss on he had a lot to learn fletcher where did you get all this stuff whats a credit card and a telephone for and a company runner you know what i like i like it because it means youre getting into it and thats good oh hey oh flowers for me fletcher i didnt know you cared had to run home at lunch for this thing these things arent exactly welcome at son sweeney somebody might use it these days you know fletch i brought you one bequeathed my mother she was quite a shot mother used to be never had the touch for this stuff of these winchester model 21s so what i cant get bullets for it shells fletch not bullets shells
check it out look at that balance want to sell this it was my mothers whats it worth except see his father seemed to own most of it they lived in a big house four car garage swimming pool they even had a high diving board after school wed all be there all the neighborhood kids making like he was their best friend because he had a pool with a high dive i remember those days fletcher used to stand on that damn board out at the edge seemed like hours just waiting holding everybody up the other kids stacked up on that ladder shivering would start yelling at him jump meathead i used to tell him fletch once youre up there theres no way back no way until one day that day i got tired of freezing behind him i walked out to the edge he looked at me i pushed him and that was the day we became friends that day i
pushed him off like a brother come on come on boy what are you doing this used to be campbell land new boots you got a lot to learn suppose i die of pneumonia yeah well serves you right its cold lesson number one you break in the boots before you go hunting great wet boots all day and by tonight theyll be dry and fit you like a glove stop crying sorry about your mom its all right she hated hospitals its kind of a blessing actually and now shes up there with your dad huh that great duck blind in the sky drinking bourbon telling dirty jokes man she was always pretty good with the dirty jokes i liked her how did you turn out such a wimp breeding fuck you very much
fletch see no you point dont aim point point and squeeze dont aim dont aim dont aim all right sort of like that lets just put them over on the stump over there all right ill get the feel of it oh right and the quail of course are just going to sit on the stump while you get the feel of it throw the can ok butch whispering all right now wait til they flush never shoot them on the ground you have to be neighborly about your killing sounds like the office why didnt you shoot got something in my eye nicely situated needs a little renovating somebody left in a hurry yeah a long time ago
yeah the valleys full of these old dumps wonder why nobodys claimed it county forced them out who knows or no water cant brew moonshine without water dont do that dont ever reach for a gun like that the trigger fletcher its not loaded man you dont know that same thing my uncle died that way crossing a fence my father tripped it wasnt loaded sorry my god fletcher a gun is never empty all right come on fred come on babe so where do we sleep tonight bwana i saw a big oak tree back there make a lovely campsite are you kidding no lets sleep under the stars
roast these birds under a camp fire ill tell you what fletch you could play campfire girls if you want but i booked us into a motel wait a minute wait a minute that is a denial of the whole hunting experience what about communing with nature id rather commune with a hot shower color tv and clean sheets wait a minute wait a minute because its the last game of the world series thats why lets get back to the car wait a minute what do you want to do with these put them in your pouch back here all right im heading south so we need to go north thats north now fletch lets think about this now thats north how can that be north when the sun is setting over there
i dont know but the needle says forget it fletcher forget it we followed this path here well just take it back the needles just freaking out here where did fred go over there come here wheres he going hes never done that before here fred here boy come on boy joe joseph i just saw a deer youre dreaming no i swear to god it stared right at me it was beautiful fletcher there are no deer in these woods there used to be but see now theres no river no no fletcher theres no river because they built that dam and they built that dam on a bond issue which you and your little friends raised to make a buck so you didnt see a deer
hey i trade paper for christ sake i dont kill little furry forest animals not intentionally what the fucks happened to you whats happened to me whats happened to you nothings happened to me exactly fletcher nothing has happened to you fletcher im sorry im really sorry jesus joe now come on lets go and see what you can do with that porsche of yours come on come on boy god damn dog wait a minute now it says that ways north this doesnt make any sense christ will you stop trying to prove how smart you are fletcher and put that fucking thing away i know where the trail is where is it listen asshole the trail the trail picks
up again right near here ok lets split up you head down that way ill go this way wait a minute are you crazy ill never find you you find the path you fire a shot in the air and we find each other on the sound you got it thats a great plan well hey well im sorry you want to stay out there and commune with nature you be my guest ok fuck you try not to stumble through these trees while these fucking rocks break my fucking neck hey hey hey you heard the lady she said let her go it aint your affair boy aint you got no sense or you just plain deaf look here billy we got us an revenuer nah too purty look im just looking for a path out of here
i dont know what you do and i dont care see that thats a path now get out of here lets get out of here fletcher fletcher come on hey fletcher hey leave her alone please excuse me christ fletcher excuse me shes obviously not interested in you you cant just force yourself on her you want her no no i just no you want her no i just think that come on get up lets go come on fellas this is very attractive we come out here to relax kill a few birds now were being chased through the wood by the cast of deliverance jump off fletcher
fletcher just jump the fuck off i need to get to a phone call the police hold him there pop that the one pop it must be it was an accident we just wanted directions what do you mean we whos joe my friend joe campbell they chased after him please can you help me whod you kill i didnt kill anybody eye for an eye pa they aint never gonna oh hush up they were trying to kill us what are we going to do with him pa better help me get him inside cant bring in strangers we aint animals wes people
now help me get him in i never turned away someone in need what are you doing keep still lord thats need a poultice you made them thank you i didnt do it for you can you get a message keep still papa wants to talk to you you brung trouble on this house les no more than we already have dont sass me what were you doing out there girl dont matter i go where i please not in this valley you dont well he cant stay here he cant walk daddy hes on his way hes here now girl he cant stay hes on his way hes on his way
ill mend him quick killings going to start not before the stew gets cold it aint you wash your hands over there whos that for i dinna say get up bless this food dear lord may it nourish our bodies as they word nourishes our souls i need to get to a phone my friend is out there just keep still what is that taste come on listen to me for a short moment i need to get to a phone whats your name fletcher cain oh i aint going to kill you you hear my dogs sometimes i just cant control them call them off docker i dont think that i can hallie girl he aint worth it ill be coming for you darlin you know i will
hes been buried proper what kind of people are you theres been trouble my daddys worried what trouble can i cause just came here to hunt some quail all i want to do is get out of here and back to civilization not trouble from you from whom then my names hallie campbell how do you do them fellas youre running from that killed joe and strung him up them is mcdonalds oh i see this is some kind of thing going on here some sort of hillbilly thing dont call us hillbillies they sold you a lame horse and you blew up their still its like out of some stupid novel jesus christ mind your mouth what are you doing its all swolled up when did this happen
now shut up look miss i think how do mr campbell horace how come when my throat gets dry you know to turn up why its a gift that pop skull stuff you give that to the mcdonalds their brains is already rotted would i offer a valued customer the same swill as them heathens this is bonded miss hallie mr carlin wouldnt somebody be ailing now would they sure hope its not that fine brother of yours back in the house girl mind your chores dont you be buying none of that rot guy from him daddy take uh three jars and an extra for somebody whos lame pain down how long have i been out two days fixing my knee cant walk on it for a few days
i made you this thank you no need do you ever see things in the woods got eyes i mean things that arent there its only a bad dream when you wake youll be all mended and on your way back home tell me more about where you live wouldnt like it besides you promised to read to me help me with big words therefore shall ye keep all the all the commandments which i command you this day that ye may be strong and go in and i know its odd but the first two ss are like a z and second two arent possess the land which the lord swear unto your fathers to give unto them and to their seed a land that floweth with milk and honey for if you love the lord your god and walk in all his ways then my lord drive out all these nations before you and you shall possess greater nations
so what if no one wants to buy these well they will eventually fletcher these aint no good to me on the eventually i cant eat these in this valley we trade what we can use all right wait a minute say its potatoes so you sell me potatoes and i cant pay the price its called margin so i eat the potatoes and what are you going to eat possum pizza look dont worry about what im going to eat it aint a fair trade in this valley you give me this and i trade you this right back thats fair it may be fair but its not smart business it may be smart but it isnt nice ill peel if you want ill peel the potatoes could i uh need some help ive never done it before but uh id like to be of some help
whatcha doing i am good for something thank you very much thinking about leaving the romans you know they didnt have anything you dont have two thousand years ago they had central heating indoor plumbing highways where did you learn all that public television you like that its yours no its yours take it its yours what did you do that for what did you go and do that for them mcdonalds they know that we got him in here cold day in hades when i do anything on the mcdonalds say so youre part of this the code is broke theyll never rest on it an eye for an eye why dont we finish it then let me go
oh now sit hes not our kind your life is here dont you ever forget it you see me and the romans baby no thats good thank you zebediah what it is hold it reach for it neighbor ill carve you a brand new pretty face jesus youre a regular norman bates arent you you want my woman that what youre after city boy thatll do duncan mcdonald where is he i dont know zebediah campbell out back bout mended upbout mended up hes got to go back honey now i know that as sure as i know i got to kill duncan mcdonald
and you do too dont we never get but one chance in life meant like this i never knew about these feelings zebediah i never had a man i never had a chance sometimes in this valley youd be better off if you didnt have no softness in you i dont even know how this started zebediah moons almost full its comin these are campbell chickens right come here come here come here come here i got you come here hey you got her good boy bring her over here put her on the block here put the hen right on the block right there stay down now hold her steady when i swing
you gotta hold her tight boy hold her over the bucket let the blood drop out oh dont be squeamish boy you gotta kill it if youre gonna eat it i just buy some thighs at the supermarket its the law of nature you kill the next one you need more got a lot of mouths to feed whole familys coming aunts uncles cousins nephews what for first footing whats that well ill let hallie explain it to you its a hell of a celebration excuse the language well want to wring it first or chop it you go ahead im getting pretty good at holding a man gotta learn to kill what are you made of boy ill just chop it if thats ok take a swig take a big one
come on now swing it like a man there you go there you go i did it your first kill which ones next i think that brown one brown one us poultry down two and an eighth i got some chickens for you to pluck i did that so whats all this about first footing everybody brings a lump of coal a crust of bread and a jug of whiskey thats an interesting menu what it means is for the year to come the larder and the coal bin will never be empty the whiskey is to drink to good fortune excuse me excuse me thats a capital idea i lost my first footing help him back to bed zeb my good man you are too kind
im gettin the chores done daddy i know whats in your head child not to be taken with that man hes just hes different daddy different from who i dont know what youre talking about im your pa hallie that the best you can do kill my chicken come on you want to kill kill me dont stand behind no tree kill me like a man dont waste no powder on cowards zeb ill see you in hell mcdonald whos that my great aunt died young she never married never had no chance for a man whatd she die of the feud bullet in her back they all died in the same year bad fight
jesus christ fighting never stops when the harvest moon is full has to stop sometime it cant always someone left to carry on the hate thats the way it is theres so much i wanted to see big out there like you said isnt it its pretty big people are kinda small sometimes its still there its not going anywhere maybe ill show you someday tell me about where you live do people carry guns out where you come from afraid they do rob usually or keep from being robbed do you want to go back there there must be something good out there oh sure there is there is good restaurants chocolate ice cream i had that once designer ice cream whats that taste like
got a girl i um no guess youll have to come for a visit see for yourself dont say that hallie theres no harm in hallie hallie girl its my cousin cousin ginny come on ive left my spaceship parked at the side um just a sec i gotta go just go have fun going to dance later zeb sir would you do me the honor of dancing with me you are very beautiful come with me hallie back to the city ah fletcher wherever you want ill build a house in the country with raining water just like the romans and a garden not just a garden of carrots and potatoes
and cabbages a garden full of flowers whatever you want sounds so perfect the way you tell it it will be fletcher it just aint going to happen at least hallie come with me i cant why not fletcher why not fletcher no why not im not like you what is that i dont understand what does that mean get away from my sister zeb shes coming with me shes staying here and youre going zeb listen to me she cant tell him hallie i told you come on come on
dont say goodbye will you just shut up for a second ill take him from here like hell you will no zeb thats done it mr campbell hellfire and brimstone coming down on your house i have to go i really wish i could stay i just have i have to go uh bye ill be seeing you um take care bye it wasnt my fault i know there are other ways to settle all this no there aint its meant how can say that nothings meant you are a dead man if you dont get down that holler all right all right im going and dont you never come back here mister this aint your place
fucking neanderthals you cross that crick youre out of our valley which way to the road and dont never come back well goodbye no offense none taken hey wait a minute i dont need it tell hallie i know well go on get inside all right all right keep your head down ive had enough of this shit im going outside watch me on the right ill be back listen to me i told you i cant oh honey theyre gone i cant please come
its ok its ok its ok its ok this werent your affair you were never part of this she stays here with me forever oh my god its finished you finished it fletcher cain the last man to hate is gone he can rest now its over morning mr cain pleasant day it seems well uh courtin i see joe campbell voiceover as for me i always like that high dive i was part of something bigger than myself i think fletch understands something about that now once youve climbed up there theres really only one way to go and theres no way back marina klain
film by georgii daneliya main role played by gerard darmon good daycomrade is this taxi occupied taxi is but my heart is not sweetheart hello fatheryouve recieved the passport allready yesshow it to me give me your driving license this is an exit visa passport theyll give when i arrive to israel come over here here look this ones mother is jewish and this ones is georgianso what same face in this matter the main thing whos the father and youre sayingnationality is determined by mothers side well you can think however you want how i want i will do georgian must live in georgia and what have you achieved with this tomorrow ill pay a visit to militia and theyll issue me another one granpa tell me what should i send you from israel atom bomb of american production wheres merab where you disappeared bought some hot bread for you
nana loves it thank you brother come herewhat bad did i do now just brought my brother some bread catch up with them and escort to moscow or its turning out rude otherwise tell them no dont say anything two cups of tea and two candiesbuy a ticket first wait a sec wait a sec i know you and wheres that you know me from when i was little i had a dream on a green meadowmerab youve seen the blue package somewhere yes i throwed out what do you mean youve thrown it out have you lost your mind but there was nothing there just some rocks that was georgian soil i took with me to honor the memory what stunts are you pulling thirsting for some jail time im sorry my precious forgive me brother leaving his homeland for good to israel and we forgot to take earth from our motherlands soil
what are you doing son of a donkey this is breakstone from astrakhan georgian soil is over there too lazy to make three steps starrin besides the french guy im over here on river on river at that shoresongmarusenka that makes cameo appearnce in nearly every film of the director in one form or another whats the name of this girl which girl in the window on the fifth floordunno eh how do you live here nobody knows anyone is there anyway i can learn her telephone number and you need it why because when our merab was a little boy he saw her in his dream at the green meadow my dear one can you please not meddle in one allready you allready shambled one now decided to start with me too ha whos that she shambled im not talking to you but i am talking to you uncle vasya you got checkmated yeah yeah good nice one hey guys why are we sitting like owls lets go relax somewhere
like that hotel for foreign guests for exmpale you excuse us vasilii but we cant jacob wanted to practice in jewish language one who guesses what he just said without subtitles gets the point and the horse eh we should have dragged that fool with us here here it is capitalism and you dont need any visa to glimpse upon ithey there where are you going to the restaurant i beg your pardon but are you staying here no we just came here to catch a dinner then im sorry but its not allowed listen commander my army friend came to visit we havent seen each other for a while lets go sergeanti did tell you its not allowed didnt i maybe youd take your hands off me he must be leaving to israel today chief will come in the morning hell say to what place he must be leaving hell be too late and that is not my conern yes im listening writing it down comrade major one fool wont leave on time and then all those jews over there will start such a noisy hustle unvoice of americahuman rights yes i wrote that downdo we need that here yeah i can understand that
but theyve put a doorman into the foutain what doorman will say with doorman we allready figured everything out oh ya fine he can go wherever he wantcomrade major and can you please let the second one go too please vasilliy kuzmich he whathe istooto israel vasilliy kuzmich is the head rabbi of moscow oblast where are we going for whatenough why you all the time snivel like a damsel fed to the teeth withwoman who do you think you are talking with like that im a georgian jew not some of your lets go drink some champagne two bottles of champagne and two candieswerent selling no alcohol honey one do it for us please ha we asking you very much we dont have any precious one youll go through customs on the other side they have all that well there brotherjews too going to historical native land whats this they dont have them in russian noohwell you country my mother country
and this here is what just writeno and here what should i write antique itemspounder is an antique item the grandmothers one took it with me for memory okay what have suddenly happened dont be anxious youll be visiting me ill be visiting you didnt even let us drink champagne come here they have them in russian language here look after our things okay atention represntative of savoy representative of savoy is asked to can you please tell me if you know are teeth suppose to be written in here too most certainly madame most neccesarilywrite in your teeth but mine are ironwrite them down anyway he took papas passport excuse me comrades excuse me can i without waiting in the line theres woman there feeling very ill please glass of waterandtwo bottles of champagne friend open this thing here please ha cant doi changed my mind i dont want to leave would you allow me to pass citizen its a country border afterallyes yes yes and if you decided not to leave your homeland then pay a visit to soviet embassy in vienna changed his mind he didyeaah sure
friend open it i was just joking ive got two generals there seeing me off ill drink with them and return ha appeal to the supervisor where is he there checkin for the plane to vienna is announced young girl where is your supervisor sitting who do you need specifically the most main one ah its fedorov third floor second roomaha thank youand dont be late for vienna plane the checkin is in process attention go to the well be late go tell them to announce on radio so this idiot came back dont scream if they find out that i gave someone my passport theyll take it away where is he the checkin is almost over ivan petrovich probably in cafeteria lunch break excuse me are you ivan petrovich ivan petrovich could you let me out please where to to ussr give me a moment ill explain
im not the one who suppose to be on the flight my brother is i took his passport andused to get to the snackbar as a joke and solder doesnt let me out ivan petrovich im asking you very much could you tell him toha you my friend got the wrong guy then im in different sphere you need luntz go to luntz there he is passenger where are you going im searching for luntz where can i find him luntz boarded the plane long time ago come this is the last one lucky flight to youcome in please take any free siti have no time to sit here show me luntz passenger luntz someone is searching for you heey what are you doing open up militia call them he must be there no everything seem to be correct passenger jacob papashvili is onboard of the plane moscowvienna andawhen the plane will be coming back comrade pilot brotherwhat now listen what if im gonna have right now a severe case of acute appendictis we can make an emergency landing in kiev right go take a nap youll visit the embassy in vienna theyll do everything okaytake a nap listen terrorist maybe you better just ask for a parachute from them while we still flying over our territory ha
i dont know how far soviet embassy is from airport but theyve got a very beautiful gothic cathedral in vienna do you have any dollars on you littlebitofalittlebit ive got a bit be a friend sell some dollars to me what are you talking about what are you talking about who here needs your dry rubles oh definately definately will be staying in this hotel thank you russians are very hospitable big theatre that sir over there too gave me a present russian balalayka hey uncle uncle no possible ive changed my mind in russia i didnt cared about it but the moment i left motherland ive got overcomed with such nastalgia just cant bear it dove of peace writing says be vigilante of fire here you are my darlingcomrade we going faaarfaar as far as we get from our land from a version of folk songraskinulos more shiroko sea stretched far away im sorry but this is not a gift ten dollars and your big theatre too nothing special 19th century alrighty terrorist ill give you a ride to your dear embassy my treat new mercedes where did you managed to learn english was trying to get in inyazshort for institute of foreign languages three times listen business proposal come work for me as a secretary free food rides five bucks and a pack of malboro a day
will you you better look here gaze here my friend joint enterprisesoviet balalayika and dollars of mine so then wanna take off to hawaii hawerent you going to israel me to hebrews god be with you what have i forgot with them i am hereditary noble nephew of count yasupov should i show you the papers okay then first we going to visit monte carlo swing around the roulette and after then bring us to the grand supermarket what you say ready to enter the high society lets buy me a japanese vhs home videoplayer and at home ill return the debt with rubles to whoever you say to ha are you going to work for me or not i told you i just cant my brother awaits for me there then im sorry its capitalism here man to a man is a wolf say hello to ambassador fool to the driver fast roulette hitler is dead understand my friend good day hellocan you open please
today is sunday no one at place come on monday comrade diplomat but i have a very important case i have to be send to moscow today urgently you have documents with you yeh yes here but this is you see come at monday youll fill an application youll get an answer in three months nowdays its simple comrade diplomat im not a repatriate im ours soviet this passport is of my brother hes the one who is jewish half hecome up with something smarter my good man youll get yourself into prison for what for crossing austrian border with someone elsespaper piece arent you ashamed of yourself you cant do it here heres how it is bureaucrat call the ambassador and bring him here right away comrade diplomat open please i dont need to go inside ill just sit here on the grass open up this ass allready called the police they got me ill write a complain on you to gorbachev its us and you didnt you left allready
here we left as you see and came back wheres sergeant bastard he is not a sergeant i hate those like him most of all here they pretend to be patriots but the moment an opportunity presents itself they run to the other side we had an agreement that your organization will be meeting your immigrants and immediately sending them off to israel and we doing exactly thatthen what about this one created a demonstration infront of soviet embassy mister papashivilli where in a world have you been i in person was standing before plan holding a sign with your surname or have you forgetten how to read and wheres your wife your child creating a disturbance somewhere as you they just got sick with flu will be here soon your plane took off shulman took off what am i suppose to do now you tell me one starts fights in clubs others hushmarik well you cant send a thousand send at least five hundreds you bitch this ball on which you and me live is small ill get my hands on you anyway alright bye you doing it again
i just called my mother shes all alone old im her only son and who will be paying for all of this oh common arent we all brotherjews here we wont be having a fight because of some change wont weboth of you wait for me here ill try to find shulman hellowhere are we where where sahnut an organization for sending jews to israel youre suddenly became a jew who else i would be my grandma is jewish you wanna see papers on that lost all your dollars didnt youi did stinkiing assholes when its only about writing letters from america theyve got pool and mercedez when you need to borrow a dollar from them they please can you tell me a telephone code of israel im gonna try to escape create a distraction for mewhy you just tell them youre not a jew theyll throw you out themselves busy linetheyll put me in prison for what for what for flying over the border with someone elses passport heres a thought youll end up put in prison by ours too crossing the border with false papers from three to five years for sure listen up how about ill sell you an idea for five bucks
what idea your brother who was supose to be meeting him there in israel yes im listeningvasya yasha somewhere over there sergeant where are you ill explain later give him to me quick dont scream yasha wait a second and listen we dont have much time go back to georgia and sit there quietly ill come back soon give me an adress of ingas uncle in israel wrap it up shulman is here shulman here bye this way gentlemen got to hell you hunchy goaty i dont like this envorinment like in a penal colony i dont know how it is in penal colony never was there dont worry youve got all ahead of you listen you owe me seven shekils for the hat and i also made an arrangment with one guy hell give you circumcision for free listen just leave me alonehey kaco kaco slang for georgian dont shake yourself you twice allready illegaly crossed the border got it this here is not austria this hereyou know so put the hat on and be examplary hebrew go on go on do it excuse meyeah this hats do they give them to everyone
nahah only to party members everyone who arrived with that kind of visa over there go up the stairs to the second floor thank you congratulate me im now citizen of israel go on dont go yellow just go in excuse me can i shalomshalom good day my sister aha shalom hello there how im happy that you came you and me gonna swing such abusiness here they there in america gonna piss with boilingyou bastard so you are a chore master of childrens chore yeshere is one hundred shakels for your small time needs put your signature here please all seem to be in orderpardon jacob im waiting for you in russian restaurant on the shore mister papashvili are reasons behind your departure of religious or political nature well how to tell you both ways so you dont believe in perestroika why not actually not very much everything end up only worsemind providing an example well beforeour chief engineer would take fifty rubles for a tire and now he takes hundred chief engineer of childrens chore no chief engineer of aclub hes ahes repairing toilets will you live with your relatives with uncle of my wifedo you know their adress
nobut ill find in the bookno need to search they are here waiting for you come ill show youyeah mister bernstein here he is izya he doesnt recognize youi do hello uncle izya im yasha inga got sick with flu aand nana too my brother mirabtakes care of them my younger brother yashin brother so youre not jewish nnnoothats a pity i have preparedfish fish but i adorefish fish we should send a telegram to gorbachev so hed send without passport yasha and his family is that possible thats kind of uncomfortable to ask ive got another plan eh uncle izya lets do it like this buy me a tourist flight to union ill go and quitely change passports with yasha they come here and everythings fine aand i wont end up in prison beautiful plan
if you need something else just say dont be shy no that would be impertinence on my partwhat are you talking about we are relatives after allcan we get vhs player here and yashall come bring the money for it with him do you like it izya came up with it mother make the fish warmbut what if he likes it cold no he likes it warm please come in my dear okayyy now you going to tell me the truth who send you and for whatyashas brother excuse me yarmakov vasilii kuzmich lives here yes one moment vas someone came to youhellohello are you the one vasilii kuzmich i am asking you sincerely sign a declaration what kind of what kind declaration that you are not a head rabbi of moscow oblastand umm why because head rabbi of moscow synagogue is me i heard many things about myself but about me throwing the doorman into the fountain that one didnt happened yet before now all good to
why rabbis visiting you are you jewish what are you talking about not with a slightest bit of my face or even ear israel calling you sergeant is that you me me call inga to telephone fast they went away to georgia all like you said they sitting in fathers basement get in contact withours immediately inga must phone uncle izya and confirm about the champagne enough comrade sergeant we are jews not idiots couldnt your kgb come up with better story what kgb uncle izya im an ordinary taxi driver heres my license throw away that bullshit boy its unthinkable kgb too was left to make their own ends in cost accounting and want the whole vhs player for one circumcisioned jew uncle izya are you get the hell outta here bastard and remember if inga with daughter wont arrive in two weeks ill gundown you take off the safetyrambo no you explain to me if you didnt had money why da hell you dragged yourself here no its you who must explain to me what da hell you dragged me here i thought you haveguys im sorry my uncle there was meeting me andwait with your uncle for a secaha okay why did you think ive got money oh common borya everyone knows that youevcuated one hundred thousand of green with you lets presume but if i had money what i would need you for im your brain centeryou
get the hell outta here or ill gnaw your nose off okay then borya here is not odessa for you here we will you we need to talk that idiot ingas uncle think thatshitty asshole wait listen he thinks that im a kgb agent you think what hes the only one who thinks so look over there that american i recognize they are watching after you dont look for me ill find you myself would you like to order something else can i call from here somewhere everything is possible here but wouldnt hurt to pay the check first here my good man take as much as needed needed all that is here plus as much take that and that one
and take caviar too but someone allready was eating itwhere they were eating it listen they just touched it ill straigten it herealright forgotten for your health buy my watch no i wont buy your watch but here what do you mean you dont want it ive allready opened the goodsgive me back my watch give me back my watch hello my name is janeim tarzan so how do you like it in israel i like itlike what for example wellfor example yesterday at airdrome airport they gave me one hundred shakels and what about in our jewish place would anyone give one hundred shakels at airdrome finger theyll give you someone you know militia man from tbilisi excuse me a tourist yeswait wait call her call her here ive got very good goods realchristian diorshes got underwear
excuse me whats your name after stalin joke didnt recognize me or something seipiashvilli i am moshemoshe you probably thinking that im a cabbie merab im not im his brother yasha yes i guess i confused you its been hundred of years or so moshe do you have somebody left back there yes ive got sister theremoshe i arrived yesterday today there was a telegram my wife got sick have to fly quickly to here lend me some money and ill return from there you live in sumvolvaki area yesdo you know limping albert in school days we were this closehassan watch after my store lets gowhere to tengizwhat tengiz tengiz from suhumi today is the wedding hes daughter getting marriedand what albert have to do with it albert is friend of tengiz and youre alberts friend tengiz wont deny you in anything one prestige looking bouquet did you brought georgian soil with you its on its way with the rest of baggagemoshe who died listen mind your own business this is calledtuxedo this is how we dress on such occassions now thank youwait that one is mine your size is forty two
lend me your tuxedo its in cleaning then give me back my bed nearly forgot allow me to introduce this is friend of limping alberthello repsected one please come inthank youi am the one who brought him there is tengiz standing next to rabbi just dont forget to tell him so he took me as his secretary what money can do everyone came everyone is here this there academician gashivlilli awardee of nobel prize and that ishamlet associate of tengiz in murumbia dear guests i will ask men to get up now lets drink for health of the just married hold this excuse me granma whats this georgian soilcan i have some take everything thank you very much i ask to excuse me excuse me gentlemen merob lets go what is this most respected tengzi this is soil from suhumi it was send to you by limping albertalbert you old bastard he delivered it here
arrived today he is my friend we grown up togetherhellolet me kiss you a moment of your atention my friends let us dear guests drink a glass for a young man that delivered to me such astop stop jews dont drink you have no idea for what kind of animal you are about to drink thisgentlemen is a soviet spy yesterday he arrived to israel and demanded a ransom from me for his own brother and his family wh are hold captive there in the dungeons of kreml by georgian intelligence excuse medont listen to him comrades give me a moment ill explain to you everything you know where the doors are right most respected tengiz that man is a madman just look at me what kind of spy can i be spiespies are of no interest to me but from man who makes a trade with life of his own brother i dont take presents not today not today you take a walk for now boy well talk with you tomorrow i will help you to get out of the countrywhere to russia you have arrested our prince
i propose to swopwhats he got arrested for political reasons no just childish stuff tried to smuggle some icons this swop doesnt make sense a notorious spy for nothing for some smalltime smuggler you have to add somethingtell me what is your price and his price was vhs video player for those who didnt get it would you please present the luggage for inspection sirmadame ive got diplomatic passport you have no rightsir your luggage for inspection please mister bernsteinhes not home weve got a present from relative to him call sappers that spy send a bomb to our house is that you yashas brother granma did they also brought vhs player somewhere here comrade spy they were dailing you from georgia and asked the moment you appear make a call to work in schoolaha but not from us izya will get angry go to soviet consuls they obliged to allow you as to spy a free linewhat consuls we dont have diplomatic relations with you what do you mean we dont have they sitting for two years allready in finnish embassy excuse me where is finnish embassy on your right this is american who cuffed you
they wont let me into americawhy if you could join me there will be alot of fuss we demonstrate and the tv will come to see us what happened who was screaming so much in your office someprovoker came took a big one to get rid of him comrade consul i just cant go out from here they allready know that i am an agent they not taking me in yet becausetrying to find my contacts right now at the customs they let hamlet go and me opened the suitcase peeked inside and closed itwhy are you silent in the end and after all im criminal i tresspassed over the border and i have to be returned on the crime scene comrade consul one second youre not going anywhere from here my good man until theyll show us together on television well finnish ambassador will be the one with whom they will be showing you on television ill change it for three minutes on the phone why you so slow hurry up coz its hot lets go lets go letsgo we dont need him borya have you got deaf boruh i am boruh got it lets kepp going just keep goinggive me my money boruh i need to make a call to tbilisi pots moron why are you tailing us
why are you compromising us already the whole israel knows you are kgb persian carpets twenty milions in swiz bank account you know her adress sure i do i do come on hey swindlerscammers i am kgb agent but why our commitee have to be paying for you in a restaurant are you what working for us give him twenty shakels and let him choke on them i can hear very badly merab one second first one im second merab here is a political inciddent your father kidnapped american tourist and holding him hostage in a fort ill connect a loudspeaker tell him to let the guy go this instance coz you understand yourself otherwise its a big criminal case hello father how are you repeatthats me merab can you hear me father
son where are you im in israel dad in israel dad let the tourist go ha tourist how related to all of this no until they return you i will not let him go you hear this come back fastsmartie one send one thousand dollars ill come back fast you go pay a visit to uncle izya hell do everything he allready did everything they disconnected us well when theyll connect us again youll call me then comrade papashvili come to your senses youre an examplary veterinarian not a criminal let the tourist go we only just with such effort straigtened the relationship with america mister vahtang and when you will come to me to chicago i will treat you im a soviet spy where should i go to give myself up mister militia man mister militia man
take this and dont look for trouble officer i wasnt lookin for trouble all i wanted is that i was swapped on someone ill give you such a swop youll remember for the rest of your life now get lost you shouldnt touch unkown objects here ah its youit can be a bomb kaboom very good enough with following me enough with following me come on bring me to your superior i dont understand anything what superior what you dont understand stop making a fool out of me okay what i cant see how you pushing buttons in this stupid bag yes because there is a voice recorder hereyes i can see that its not a piano im not blind alright enough lets go to your contra intelligence agency this is a mistake what agency im american journalist im making an article about jews from russia maybe this will convince you whats this
magazineamerica the one that is published in our country and this all for what this is for thevoice of america for radio yes and your friends there not only gonna see you but also will hear youfantasticalhere before our chief engineer would take fifty rubles for a tire and nowtakeshundred hey hey whats with you are you gone crazy it was my first news report im sorry janejane im sorryleave me be okay stop just put new cassete in ill repeat all from the beginning eh like i needed you much i recorded there such people such people come on jane dont cryget lost its not such a big deal youll just make another report and thats itwhen im flying back this eveningflying so why you wasting your nerves just look at me here im not crying and on my side if i wont return tomorrow my father will be jailed
and how can i leave this place if they decided im a spy no way and what is left for me to do just to walk and hang myself i think i might be able to help you this question has to be brained hard how he sitting here in suchcold hes from syberia anyways thats how it is ill escort him through the borderis that dangerous we dont have any other option you know maybe youll justshow me the place on the map and ill cross the border myselfff you dont know who you dealing with here look semyon klein intelligence commander of 43th division without me you wont make two steps since they shadowing you i told her yes yes ofcourse i gave her an interview youll listen what tales i shared eh no no need to i know we already listened to them together just a moment ago eh friends lets drink for this house so this house would always be happyand prosperity for your health
ill play on accordion nowexcuse me senya its time i need to leave thank youeverything gonna be alright thank you jane singing folk songby the wild steppes of the transbaikaly not my translation luckily for youon the wild steppes of transbaikalia where people dig for gold in the mountains a vagrant bemoaning his fate jane good luck and happiness tarzan is wandering with a bag on his back hello brotha its me merab tell father urgently that he let the tourist go im already in jordan calling from a cabinet of our ambassador okay okay i will im out of screwnutsoneight you look around if there is such there buy at least for me tell him to buy american condoms on the whole city sure okay yours truck no the owners there some guy snooting around here well deal with him you come from the front ask for cigarette i from the back turning him off no why would we do that
theres a spot behind the ear calledsnake biteyoull cuddle it and uncle is in knockout come on give mewhat flaskmaybe enough dont be scared senya knows his limit wanna take a piss cant get used to this heat fridge now thats for me what that one doing here same as weyou think nah i dont like this goose now lets toast for georgia i like that you respect your parents and my son went to canada everyday phonesdaddy come live with us i am jew here is my homeland here i will live i had enoughwait for georgia come on for georgianice man i dont like this goose also chase her down i forgot them at home my friend got tired
i took my turn behind the wheel why do you let to drive man without driving license i was sleeping he probably stoled my truck coz they didnt feed me at hospital do they feed us here with our jewish kashir food saying that to an arab allah forgive me now its jewish prison cell glory to communist party of soviet union follow me youve being paid bail for my dear merab since limping albert called me youre my best friend prepare the table well be in half an hour stop it hey terrorist that was my friend too oil baron you my little persian carpet when we were little lets go lets go its all moshes fault ill fire him from work everything was funreally you liked it are you completely out of your mind old donkey get out of there
why so noisy youve got there comrade stalin falling off and for some reason i didnt like this goose come on come out youll drive with melisten drive where youve been driving i dont want anything more suit yourself oh crap seems like he died yeah for sure he died hes not breathing hes breathing ehg take it got offened if they did took both of us who would have found albert if senya said he will get your across the border then he will why through border tengiz would have send me by planelegally you wont get out from here if person once was branded a spy its for life heres an adress in stambul youll visit ask mustafa say you are from me hell do everything aha okay some cash just a little but as much as i had hereno no needtake take itthank you senya eat healthy here we are
and you saidyourself besides me nobody would be able to handle this okay remember cigarette and handkerchief nose napkin are mines good luck wait for a moment quiet i can see it but if somehowby occasion someone will end up in omsk ask them to pay a visit to cemetry and put this on a grave of my wife marina klain come with me why you here alll by yourself ha come my dear good man here they will bury me well see each other in afterlife theres no borders there go on go on you the one who was suppose to be here back then where have you been was learning arabic in prisonsmugglin israel spy thats it from here you walk alone when you gonna go over the border put your hands up so border guard saw you dont have weapon on you border guard
border guard dont shoot at me dont shoot dont shoot at me brothers telephone ringing romburgs toys how may i help you otto its macgyver where are you im in east berlin at stasi headquarters or whats left of them anyway listen otto ive got some good news you have found my granddaughter well not yet but ive found marias nam on a list of orphans the stasi had on file im meeting with a guy later who might have a line on how to find her that is good news huh but i was hoping otto if marias in east germany ill find her thats a promise i dont know how to thank you macgyver ive been waiting 15 long years for this moment ill wait by the phone thank you thank you so much both speaking german guard yelling in german yelling in german
speaking german dogs barking maria shouting in german music playing people chattering rolf mossel we spoke on the telephone yes yes thank you for meeting me oh a pleasure speaking german i have heard only good things about your foundation s work here thank you very much i understand youre with the citizen freedom committee d correct we work mostly in the fiel helping people locate their relatives i personally handled your inquiry about a maria romburg howd you do uh danke well you are in luck certain files were looted when the government was overthrown and the people stormed stasi headquarters this was amongst them uh yeah my germans a little weak
would you reading in german they educated her for the last two years she has been a teacher in leipzig catch the morning train you can be there by noon thank you children chattering speaking german all giggling speaking german um sorry i dont mean to interrupt what is it you wish well my name is macgyver your grandfather sent me hes a friend of mine speaking german why does my grandfathe r send you why does he no t come himself his doctors recommended against it i see and now that youve found me what exactly is it he wants to know that youre well im sure you can tell him as much and to see you again
well you can give my grandfather a message for me mr macgyver you can tell him that to me he is dead excuse me wait i know its been a long time cant you at least think about it ive been thinking about it since i was eight years old i can still see my fathers body on the barbed wire he died while my grandfather ran to save his own life you were an 8yearold child who saw your father and grandfather betrayed by the stasi your grandfather had no choice but to run maria he has never stopped looking for you he loves you he wants you to live with him in america the wall is down you both have choices now theres nothing to stop yo u from being a family again nothing but the memory of a selfish old man who would leave his son and granddaughter to be executed by the border guards maria i tried to explain the circumstances no mr macgyver i want nothing to do with him i cant this is from your grandfather read it e your mind before tomorrow my hotel number is on the envelope
i have to go the children speaking german looking for someone speaking german you took my picture mein fotowhy in english so your photo both grunting car tires screeching you know high tech equipment like this makes you think the wall is still up s there must be thousands of outofwork stasi agent wandering around the country with nothing better to do then again maybe our new government still cant resist the need to watch you americans im sorry if things did not go well with the girl you know i cant help thinking that maybe i shoul d stick around maybe talk to her again scoffs mr macgyver you found her you gave her the letter from her grandfather what more could you do i think i would like to change my mind if that is all right uh of course mr mossel this is maria mr mossels organization helped us find you thank you youre welcome after the way i treated you you think i am crazy yes i think you needed time thats all
i read my grandfathers letter he sounded so lonely so heartsick you were right macgyver the wall is down i have the freedom to decide for myself and when i see my grandfather i will know for sure yes this is what makes my job so worthwhile so now what no thats all been taken care of lets just go see your grandpa huh thank you my pleasure your plan seems to be working huber huh in a few days the gold will be in our hands do you thin k hell recognize me its been so long maybe we are both so different now will you relax youll be fine have i thanked you yet for what youve done macgyver for keeping me from making a terrible mistake about a thousand times yes im in america first time here
you mean you cannot tell i have never before set even one foot out of east germany not by the way you speak english its almost perfect oh thank you the state needed teachers of english so i was trained for this oh look female announcer on pa the white zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only no parking macgyver do you have three quarters uh yeah sure in your old magazines people used to smuggle across the border i kept seeing this one picture of beautiful men and women in beautiful swimsuits drinking ice cold root beer and now it is my turn bell chiming maria my god let me look at you oh here uh you two have a lot to talk about im gonna take off thank you my friend macgyver what time must we go back to immigration ill pick you up what is this about oh im sorry opa but i must go fill out some more papers theres so much catchingup to do
put your toy away kurt i still cannot believe i am here what are they doing the girl just arrived bell chiming oh look its such a wonderful store opa otto laughing my apartments upstairs its small but theres room for two maria look theres an old friend who wanted to say hello she is lovely you dont remember her she was your favorite oh birgit chuckling my precious little birgit how could i have forgotten you insisted we take her along the night we i tucked her under my sweater where she would be warm shes waited for you all these years she knew some day you would come for her and it was always in my prayers that you would you must be tired its been a very long day
there has not been one word about the gold how do you know he still has it he has it he wouldnt dare doublecross us while his granddaughte r was in our hands and now she is here hmm so why do we wait because it is our plan from the start because it is safer for us to let the girl find out where he hides it do you have a problem with that weise oh no not at all huber as you constantly remind me you are my superior but i still say give me 10 minutes with the old man alone and i promise you he will beg us to take the gold oh weise will you stop stop what we have no jobs were almost out of money how are we supposed to exist you prefer to be working for the mossad or the cia i will be happy to write a letter of recommendation in exchange for your share of the gold just cool it huh our operative knows what to do just give her time a million bucks in gold
come on men its worth the wait i dont know somethings not right pete i know it macgyver just because she sat down and immediately fastened her seatbelt now what does that prove no no its more than that she knew how to make the seat recline how to plug in her head phones she even asked the flight attendant for a magazine im tellin you she behaved just like a seasoned traveler look i admit thats a bit odd but still no and then and then at the airport she asked me for three quarters for a root beer quarters pete shes never been out of east germany and she knows our coin system look you want to check her out were going to check her out okay come on thank you thank you hi macgyver welcome back thanks willis can you help me out here what do you think of that looks like it could be kgb most likely assembled in east germany
yeah could be got any fingerprints there yeah couple of good ones get them off to washington right away oh also pete could we run this through the child finder program i want to see what a young maria would look like at 23 no probl ill have it tomorrow you got everything you came for thank you for indulging me chuckling no problem bell chiming opayou work too hard most men your age are retired by now japerhaps perhaps not ive been thinking what if i closed the store for a few months so you and i can travel see america oh that would be wonderful but would that not cost a lot of money let me worry about that i have something put away this is it this is it come on you old fool tell her where the gold is move the laser up to the old mans apartment window hurry they are coming in what did i have to spend money on soopa you mean you are rich
richer than ever now that you are here laughing opa be serious you mean you are rich from selling toys well i make enoug h to be comfortable you keep the money in a bank yes so many questions about money go get changed macgyver will be here soon all right but tonight when i get back we will talk about everything yes maria ive had enough of this talk talk talk he tells the girl nothing we were fools to cut her into the deal weise we can do without your impatience shes doing her best it appears we have a visitor oh its the loverboy listen to you calling him and look at you your jeans and bow s and arrows speaking german i dont know you any more just 10 years in this country and youre more american than german dont knock it till you try it
door bell ringing that must be macgyver ill be right out opa otto its me buzzer buzzing come in maria will be ready in a minute hello otto macgyver hello so have you gotten used to seeing maria all grown up yet she is some young lady is she not its hard to believe she was my little liebchen yeah well shes definitely a woman now but in here there is no change only the same sweet innocent child i am ready macgyver boy ill say opa why dont you come with us yeah then well all go out to dinner afterwards oh thank you but i must work on my books all right then well bring something in for you oh no opawe insist this is america everybody brings food in to eat chuckling
here they come it must be for her immigration appointment so we continue to wait and wait and wait you got it what do you say we take a break get something to eat huber you can buy you know a place that takes travelers checks only if you have some id you coming weise my ulcer too much american junk food you two go ahead ill stay here and watch doorknob rattling we have much to talk about old man it was wonderful driving through the city in spite of all your questions oh i was just trying to get to know you better thats all why do you look at me like that oh i was just thinkin s how happy your grandfather i to have you here thats all all those years all the hate i never would have known how wonderful he is if it wasnt for you lets try your hawaiian pizza with pineapple where is the gold
you have killed my son my granddaughter she is safe now the iron curtain is gone you have nothing to threaten me with now except your life old man if you do not give me the gold where is the gold gun firing maria run call the police speaking german macgyver you all right oh yeah he ran into me and fell police radio chattering everybody all right well guess what pete the guy they just loaded into that ambulance is the same guy that followed me in leipzig but thats all we have at least until he regains consciousness no id no apparent motive his name is helmut weise hes a former stasi agent you know those prints that we lifted from that listening device they matched with stasi files provided by the bonn government well whats he doing here
excellent question lets ask otto that man he was a burglar yes he was a stasi agent otto stasi in the united states otto hes the same man who followed macgyver in leipzig and he was knockin yo u around for a reason now whats going on i thought when the wall came down and i had my maria back it would all be over but it will never be over i am your friend now will you pleas e tell me the truth after that night when they took maria for years they used her to make me cooperate telling me if i did not i would never see maria again it has gone on for 15 years now in what way they used my store for a courier drop thats all a place to exchange papers microfilm tapes opahow could you i had no choice they would have killed you you should have let them and die a second death
even worse than the first you are making no sense not a day has gone by that i have not relived that night at the border i hear you cryingopa opa i was down in the ravine helpless looking up as the border guards killed my only son and took you away i knew then that i was more a prisoner of the past than i was a free man excuse me did you guys see that see what i think theres a listening post somewhere across the street you guys wait here theyll expose our laser beam forget it theres no time up there second floor well take the front this is the most sophisticated laser technology ive seen it projects a beam of ligh t against a window and translates the vibrations back into sound sort of like a cd player check out the origin will you will do oh willis how are you coming on that child finder workup uh we have some program glitches but ill give you a holler as soon as i have something all right
the medical report on weise yeah and hes still in a coma makes interesting reading though seems he has more than a fractured skull he took a shot to the throat hard enough to rupture his larynx well that doesnt make any sense i shoved the table into his chest and he took off i never laid a hand on him leaves only one possibility doesnt it macgyver good morning something wrong well maybe you can tell me the medical report says the guy who broke in here last night was struck in the throat before he fell down the stairs what are you saying maria you were on that stair landing he had to run right by you how could you thin k such a thing how could i think anything else you had the time you had the position all right i will not deny it not that you will understand try me
door opening when he ran past me i acted on instinct fearing for my own life i should have killed him men like weise should not be allowed to walk on the face of this earth you know this guys name he was stasi what about you maria enough hate to kill you dont learn that kind of stuff in an orphanage no you are right that took special training what are you saying what do you think it was like in east germany as a child with no home an orphan a ward of the state stasi had a special training school for children like me who owed their existence to their government when i was 16 i was allowed to stay at the orphanage no longer i was chosen to become asparrow asparrow oh its charming yes all birds of a feather the boys were known ashawks for years they taught us how to manipulate people how to spy on our friends and yes how to kill but you are a teacher