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wocka
|
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef!
|
Cow With No Legs
|
Animal
| 4 |
wocka
|
What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
|
Black, White and Red
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
There's this dyslexic guy... he walked into a bra...
|
Into the Bar
|
Bar
| 4 |
wocka
|
There was a dyslexic insomniac agnostic.
He laid awake all night wondering if there really was a Dog.
|
Pondering the afterlife
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A start.
|
500 Lawyers
|
Lawyer
| 4 |
wocka
|
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes whack, dang. A bad skydiver goes dang, whack.
|
What's the difference?
|
Sports
| 4 |
wocka
|
A bishop, a priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"
|
Bishop, Priest, Rabbi
|
Religious
| 4 |
wocka
|
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to WANT to change.
|
Psychologist Handyman
|
Lightbulb
| 4 |
wocka
|
How many lawyers does it take to shingle the roof of a house?
It depends on how thin you slice 'em.
|
Shingles
|
Lawyer
| 4 |
wocka
|
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl
|
Bayl
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam".
|
Concrete Wall
|
Animal
| 4 |
wocka
|
If at first you don't succeed ... avoid skydiving.
|
If at First...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Knock knock.
Who's there?
interrupting cow
interrupting co---
MOO
|
Interrupting Cow
|
Knock-Knock
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo Mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, and the zookeeper said "I didn't know an animal had escaped."
|
Zoo Trip
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
Your momma is so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
|
Halloween
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo Mama's so fat, she didn't have a birth certificate, she had a blueprint!
|
So Fat
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
|
Birds
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo mama so fat when she sat on a rainbow skittles came out!
|
Skittles
|
Yo Mama
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo Mama is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
|
Milk Carton
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub mommy, I'm dwowning.
|
Dwayne
|
Knock-Knock
| 4 |
wocka
|
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one-they don't like to share the spotlight.
|
Actors
|
Lightbulb
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six - One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs.
|
Mechanics
|
Lightbulb
| 4 |
wocka
|
What do you call a short psychic on the lam?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A small medium at large!
|
Psychic
|
Other / Misc
| 4.5 |
wocka
|
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
|
Sharks
|
Lawyer
| 4 |
wocka
|
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry it's just a joke
|
Boo!
|
Knock-Knock
| 4 |
wocka
|
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I!
|
Roses are Red
|
Medical
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo Mama is so fat, she went to buy a water bed and they put a blanket over the Altantic Ocean.
|
So Fat...
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
|
Hotdog
|
Bar
| 4 |
wocka
|
"I never forget a face. However, in your case, I'll
be glad to make an exception."
-Groucho Marx
|
Faces
|
Insults
| 4 |
wocka
|
Diplomacy: The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
|
Definition of Diplomacy
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because it had no body to go with.
|
Lone Bones
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
|
747 Full of Lawers
|
Lawyer
| 4 |
wocka
|
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
|
Grandma
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Lawyers creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.
|
Lawyers Creed
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I
should have been more specific."
-Jane Wagner
|
Someone
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
You know that little indestructible black box that
is used on planes?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the
same stuff?
|
Black Box
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
Mind Over Matter
If you don't mind,
it doesn't matter.
|
Mind Over Matter
|
Puns
| 4 |
wocka
|
Why is it that when we talk to God we call it
praying, yet when God talks to us we are schizophrenic?
-Lily Tomlin
|
Praying
|
Religious
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo mama so fat, she coughed next to a corn field and made popcorn.
|
Popcorn
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
What did the Zen Buddhist say to the New York hot-dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
|
Zen
|
One Liners
| 4.5 |
wocka
|
How many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened.
|
Toilet Paper
|
Men / Women
| 4 |
wocka
|
Did you hear about the new dictionary for masochists?
It has all the words, but they're not in alphabetical order.
|
New Dictionary
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Never ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night.
|
Tips on Pill Taking
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
My sister gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room. It was so high tech that the baby came out cordless!
|
High Tech Delivery
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Why don't ghosts make good magicians?
You can see right through them!
|
Ghosts
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo mama's so fat that when she went bungee jumping, she took down the whole bridge with her.
|
Bungee Jumping
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
What do you call an Irishman sitting in your backyard?
Paddy O'Furniture
|
Irishman
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
|
Carrots
|
Animal
| 4 |
wocka
|
"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."
|
Laughs last
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One I hope.
|
How many......
|
Lightbulb
| 4 |
wocka
|
You might be a redneck if you think fast-food is hitting a dear at 65mph.
|
Fastfood
|
Redneck
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo momma is so fat that she is on both sides of the family!
|
So... fat
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can not!
|
Math
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Vacation begins when dad says. "I know a shortcut"!
|
Vacation
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Energizer Bunny arrested... charged with battery.
|
Energizer
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Lottery, a tax on people who can't do math
|
Lottery
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home.
|
Kids
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
|
Insanity
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
|
Fool
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else!
|
Unique
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q: What's black, blue, brown and laying in a ditch?
A: A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
|
What's Black and blue......?
|
Blond
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q: What do you call a guy with a Spade in his head?
A: Doug.
Q: What do you call a guy without a spade in his head?
A: Douglas
|
What Do You Call.
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo momma's so fat that I ran out of gas trying to drive around her.
|
Empty Gas Tank
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
Borrow money from a pessimist---They don't expect it back.
|
Pessimist
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
|
Conscience
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Two ducks walk into a bar...
One duck looks at the other and says "Guess you didn't see it either."
|
Ducks
|
Bar
| 4 |
wocka
|
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
|
Dog
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q. Why would Snow White be a good judge?
A.Because she's the fairest in the land.
|
Snow White
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
"Let us prey."
|
Before Hunting
|
Animal
| 4 |
wocka
|
How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
|
Water
|
Religious
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party!
|
Party
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo momma so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts!
|
Peanuts
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I have several degrees."
|
Graduated Cylinder
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker had for Christmas?
A. He felt his presence!
|
Darth Vader
|
Puns
| 4 |
wocka
|
Yo momma is so fat when she sits down in class she sits by everyone.
|
Class
|
Yo Momma
| 4 |
wocka
|
How many worms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What kind of an idiot thinks worms can screw in light bulbs?!
|
Worms
|
Lightbulb
| 4 |
wocka
|
Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Willy: Me
|
Name One Important Thing...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
What do you call 100 lawyers jumping out of an airplane?
Skeet
|
Skydiving Lawyers
|
Lawyer
| 4 |
wocka
|
Did you hear about the football game with the 0-0 score?
Never mind, it's pointless.
|
Did You Hear...
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
"Knock-Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Boo"
"Boo who?"
"Why are you crying?"
|
Boo
|
Knock-Knock
| 4 |
wocka
|
What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
|
What Did...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Hickory, Dickory Dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one...
The rest got away with minor injuries
|
Hickory, Dickory Dock...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
A: Halfway.
|
What Do You Get...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A. They're afraid of flying off the handle!
|
Witches
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
|
The Law of Reality
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
|
Legal Rights
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
|
Law of Probable Dispersal
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
|
The Easiest Way...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
|
Health Is...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
|
Golf ...
|
Sports
| 4 |
wocka
|
In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers. They shoot a six, yell fore, and write five.
|
In Golf...
|
Sports
| 4 |
wocka
|
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
|
I Don't Approve...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
|
I Love Being Married...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
|
How Come?
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
|
Time & Fruit Flies
|
Other / Misc
| 4 |
wocka
|
If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
|
Your Exorcist
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again...
It was probably worth it.
|
Lending Results
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
Good judgment comes from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
|
Good Judgment...
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
|
Two Theories
|
One Liners
| 4 |
wocka
|
There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
|
Hobby
|
One Liners
| 4 |
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