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AITA My best friend is upset about how we communicated for her to leave and I do not know what to do. [deleted]
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Soft YTA, jokes are always a bad idea. You didn't set a boundary, you relied on a yoke that was in poor taste. Come right out and say "Sorry I'm cutting our conversation short and pushing you out but I'm kind of tired and we need to make plans for dinner." Going forward set a real boundary in advance. Examples: "Sure you can come in for 30 minutes. Then I have some tasks I need to attend to." "Yes you can visit until my husband comes home." Those are clear boundaries and gives her a clear benchmark for when you expect her to go.
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Aunt is only 42 so I’m assuming OP is quite young, probably a teen
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And OP mentioned school. So yeah, OP is very likely not old with decades of life experiences.
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This seems like a good place to ask, what would constitute as a close familymember? Would my grandfather be included, or is that not close enough?
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Yeah that definitely counts, pls mention him to your doctor. Also, better safe than sorry, so if you know anyone else in your family that has it, you should mention them
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I work in colorectal cancer research (especially early onset) and have more and more patients with advanced disease who are teens and young adults. If there are ANY changes to your bowel habits, or if anything else in the bathroom is not quite right, talk to a doctor. Look into Cologuard if you are uncomfortable with the idea of a colonoscopy - it's an at-home screening test. Let's get more comfortable talking about our butts!
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[deleted]
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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Lost my MIL to it a year ago. She didn’t even get to see me marry her son. Get your colonoscopy, even if it’s embarrassing.
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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NTA- definitely open a new account immediately and move everything into it. Also you may want to take the time to seriously sit down and go back through all your bank statements. This doesn't sound like it's the first time she has taken money out without you knowing. Definitely go back and check. Good luck!
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[deleted]
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If your normal at home bowel habits change for more than 5 days.
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Enough to perhaps draw attention to it and get her in trouble for giving OP the code. I agree with this judgement. Soft YTA, but lesson learned
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If you can get in trouble for overspending on your code, why wouldn't you mention anything at all? You're setting yourself up for failure.
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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No joke, it’s an important message for everyone. Don’t let your asshole be an asshole to you.
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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NTA Open another account.
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It's definitely not normal. Im 40 and have colonoscopies every 1.5-3 years due to UC since I was 20. Not one procedure was painful. I was awake for one of them and just watched the screen. The bad part was the prep, and that depends on which one the doctor uses. Golytely was by far the worst to drink, but I couldn't stomach it. Any others were simple.
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The prep was a little uncomfortable, but not a big deal at all. When I googled the procedure beforehand, it said it could be painful, and in some places they use anesthesia. They didn't on me though, and it was definitely painful. Didn't last too long though, but felt like it when in pain.
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AITA for refusing to read someone's tarot? I (f31) like "witchy" things. Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science just getting that in), crystals etc. That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun. If I'm being audited by the IRS, I'm consulting an accountant, not tarot. My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctors appointment, didn't consult tarot. (Was benign, thank goodness). The most extreme I get would be having a run of the mill bad day, consulting tarot and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something. I have a friend, Grace (30's) who is in legal trouble. I don't know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn't a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences. Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused. A) because she hasn't done anything yet. Her court day is approaching and as far as I know, she still doesn't have legal representation, and B) tarot cards might give a "it's fine!" answer but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own. I told her no, she should really find a lawyer. Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn't being a good friend. I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn't always take long, and it could make her feel better. AITA? EDIT- I just got like, 7 inbox requests for tarot readings. I'm not doing that. Also, to answer some questions, I use tarot as a soothing tool, an advice tool, and yes, for fun. I find it helps me think things through more. It's more than a party game to me but it's not life and death.
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NTA. But can't you pretend to read her tarot and let the tarot say that she needs to get a lawyer?
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I’ve had digestive problems my whole life but doctors just told me in my 20s and 30s that I was too young for a colonoscopy. Hoping they were right.
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Doctor said the same thing to me at 44. I insisted on doing the test. Turns out I was Stage 3. That was 16 years ago.
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NTA Your wife sounds like my stepmother. That didn't go anywhere good, not for me and my brother other or even for her own kids. Please demand couple's counseling. What she's doing is manipulative and abusive. It could be a symptom of a mental health problem in her, but that is not a good reason to put up with it if she won't get help. Seriously. This is a problem.
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Or it could just be that her feelings are hurt and she doesn’t want to talk about it. Abuse? Mental health problem? My feelings would be hurt too if—my kid? his kid? their kid?—didn’t take two minutes to say thanks and goodnight. I wouldn’t handle it the same way she did. I’m too impatient to sulk that long, but I’m pretty sure I’m not mentally ill.
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I’m not sure if that’s entirely true. At the same time I’ve always had a credit union since I was 8 and my grandmother was on my account until bills she owed took money from my account (she repaid). I was able to get her removed and make my mom and brother beneficiaries as a teen. Granted this was 8-9 years ago.
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I don’t know if it’s “most” but regardless many major banks are this way. They will not let you remove one person who was authorized as a user upon creation of the account.
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NTA. You weren't given a line to not cross, how are you supposed to know? And if she's giving out *her* code when she isn't supposed to, that's on her.
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>how are you supposed to know? Common sense?
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AITA for refusing to read someone's tarot? I (f31) like "witchy" things. Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science just getting that in), crystals etc. That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun. If I'm being audited by the IRS, I'm consulting an accountant, not tarot. My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctors appointment, didn't consult tarot. (Was benign, thank goodness). The most extreme I get would be having a run of the mill bad day, consulting tarot and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something. I have a friend, Grace (30's) who is in legal trouble. I don't know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn't a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences. Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused. A) because she hasn't done anything yet. Her court day is approaching and as far as I know, she still doesn't have legal representation, and B) tarot cards might give a "it's fine!" answer but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own. I told her no, she should really find a lawyer. Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn't being a good friend. I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn't always take long, and it could make her feel better. AITA? EDIT- I just got like, 7 inbox requests for tarot readings. I'm not doing that. Also, to answer some questions, I use tarot as a soothing tool, an advice tool, and yes, for fun. I find it helps me think things through more. It's more than a party game to me but it's not life and death.
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NTA. But can't you pretend to read her tarot and let the tarot say that she needs to get a lawyer?
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AITA for not bringing my daughter’s friend home and making her parents come get her? My daughter and I live about an hour outside NYC. Since she was a baby, I’ve taken her there most weekends. As she got older, she occasionally brought friends. They always know the rules: bring a bag with things for the train, carry your own stuff, stick together, expect lots of walking, and have fun. Phones are fine, but I encourage screen-free activities. I always speak to parents beforehand and emphasize the walking, we sometimes walk 45 minutes or more. For her 12th birthday last weekend, she wanted to go to the city with friends, visit favorite spots, have dinner, and maybe see a show. My mom helped pay for tickets and joined us. My daughter invited three girls: two longtime friends who know the routine and a new friend, “Leah.” I called Leah’s mom, explained the rules, warned about the walking, and suggested Leah bring something for the train since the signal is bad. Leah’s mom said she was excited. My daughter also explained expectations. On the train, Leah brought only her phone, got bored when the signal cut out, refused to chat or play games with the others, and complained. When we arrived, she immediately asked for a cab. My daughter reminded her we walk. As we browsed shops, Leah kept whining and asking for a cab. I stayed patient, offered water and snack breaks, and even suggested the subway to be nice, but she refused when she learned what it was. A few hours in, we stopped for dinner at a place with options for everyone. Leah complained again and said she wanted to go home. I pulled her aside to check if she was sick or upset; she just said it was boring. I told her we’d be there a few more hours for the show, but if she wanted to leave, she could call her mom. Leah called, and her mom asked me to bring her back. Even if my mom or I left with Leah and took a train back after we dropped her off, we’d miss the show, and my daughter wanted both of us there. I explained we wouldn’t head back until after the show. Leah’s mom didn’t want to pay for a train ticket or drive. She eventually sent Leah’s dad, who picked her up before the show. Leah stayed crabby through dinner. Afterward, Leah’s mom trashed me to the other moms, but they backed me up, saying they wouldn’t expect me to cut the trip short unless a child was sick or hurt (which I would do). Now Leah’s mom won’t let her hang out with my daughter. I can’t help wondering if I should’ve just sucked it up and taken her home. AITA?
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I want an Umppa Lumpa NOW, daddy!!!
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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A truly good person gives because they want to give so others feel joy, not because they want the thanks. NTA. Sure it would have been nice to say thanks, but her being THAT upset is a red flag.
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YTA. You should have given her the full amount the insurance company gave you.
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You're the only one that has said this so far. Numerous people are telling me that I enabled her by giving her any of the money at all. She paid for liability and the car was a gift. I'd love to hear more of your perspective.
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NTA. You weren't given a line to not cross, how are you supposed to know? And if she's giving out *her* code when she isn't supposed to, that's on her.
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I agree, NTA. When I worked retail at a place that had an employee discount, we all frequently “abused” (by the standards of this thread, apparently) our discount for our friends and family to get their products for less money. I don’t even think I had to use my own card to pay or anything like that. If the aunt wasn’t supposed to share her code and didn’t mention this to OP, then it’s on the aunt for failing to inform. She could’ve easily told her company that she purchased it as a gift for their family member and I doubt corporate would’ve thought twice about it.
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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Had a colonoscopy recently on the basis of a home test, led to two big polyps being removed before they cause a problem. None of it was much of a big deal and two years from now might've been quite different if I hadn't taken care of it.
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AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes? My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.” I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount. When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble. So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?
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ESH She should have told you to use it within reason. You should have used some common sense, the code is associated with her employment and it's use or abuse reflects on her and may cause her a problem. The reason companies monitor, limit and eliminate these perks is because of abuse like your shopping spree.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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hmmm.. as a woman who gets angrier and angrier every single time I've to clean up the house and realize that the mess was more caused by my husband and my son... I'd say there's an underlying issue here that makes your wife upset.. and it's not about her expecting her step son to thank her at all.. first, you dismissed her idea, making it sound unimportant by saying that you arranged everything from there. sure, she contributed the idea, what's idea without actions, right?? second, you mentioned that she spent her weekend cleaning up, claiming that you're "not messy, just not her level of clean".. well, if that last point was true, then why do you think she felt the need to send you away for the weekend so that she could have the weekend by herself to clean everything in the house? if you're not "that messy", she wouldn't need to spend the whole weekend to clean up your mess. third, how is the relationship between your son and your "wife of 5 years"? is she your housekeeper who's only taking care of the house? does she have any relationship with him at all day-to-day? does your son live with you full time, full custody, etc? all I see right now is just you painting the issue very lightly, making it sound that it's not that big of deal, so she sounds spoiled, entitled and whatever else Redditors are calling her in this thread.. since she's what, the evil step-mother? if you actually CARE and LOVE her, talk to her. FIND what the real issues are. LISTEN to what she said. FIX the relationship between her and your step son. in any case, you're taking her for granted, and right now she doesn't feel that you (and by extension your son) care about her at all. ESH for me, but you will be an ass if you don't try to find out what the underlying issues are.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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NTA Your wife sounds like my stepmother. That didn't go anywhere good, not for me and my brother other or even for her own kids. Please demand couple's counseling. What she's doing is manipulative and abusive. It could be a symptom of a mental health problem in her, but that is not a good reason to put up with it if she won't get help. Seriously. This is a problem.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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Why does she need to be thanked, she had an idea, she did nothing else. Self centred much, the woman needs to grow up fgs. You need to grow a backbone as well and tell her she didnt need to be thanked. Sulking like a child is not attractive at all!
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I hope yours is too! I’ve seen UC up close and it looks so painful. I’m glad you were finally able to get a diagnosis and the treatment is helping you!
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Thanks! I’m feeling so much better now that I’m on medication for it. It really explained a lot.
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AITA My best friend is upset about how we communicated for her to leave and I do not know what to do. [deleted]
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I know that my comment will not be popular but, here it is. You said the friend is lonely, does she have any mental health issues that feed into this? She is using you as a source of companionship which she may not necessarily be entitled to since you are with someone else. Does she take social cues well, can she "read the room". Most people give off pretty good signs that it might be time to leave before saying anything out loud. Maybe the friend just missed them. Are you her only friend, if so, she would do well to cultivate some others just so she always has someone to hang with to keep from being lonely and doesn't become burdensome to any of them. As the friend invited herself in without notice to your partner, the partner might have had other plans for the evening and suddenly having an unexpected guest might have caught her off guard. Especially so if this is or has become a regular thing for the friend to do. I can't really say who is the AH here but, I can fully understand how a situation like this could have prompted the reaction from your partner and without being there, there is no way know who was wrong. Don't always assume that you are guilty, sometimes shit just happens.
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AITA My best friend is upset about how we communicated for her to leave and I do not know what to do. [deleted]
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Nta, it's not your responsibility to manage her life.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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Did she ever want to build a close bond with your son? Maybe as a stepmother, if she is a kind one, she wanted your son to be closer? Also since you married her, stop repeating "my son" because she is also legally his step-mum once you're married so she's his mum too
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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You need to move your money to your own account and do not give her access any more. Furthermore, everything coming back is intended for you which is why it is going in your account. So you need to tell her if she doesn’t pay it back you will go as legal as you need to, to get it back. Also if you can move out do it asap. Stay with friends or something. She is toxic and trying to steal from her own kid.
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Age and a family history of polyps/colon cancer are usually why people go in for first colonoscopies. After my large polyp was found at 28, my younger brothers started having regular colonoscopies. My father also has a history of polyps, and my paternal grandmother died from colon cancer. Small polyps very rarely bleed, and if blood is present it’s more likely a bleeding hemorrhoid or something chronic like colitis. I was one of the very rare people whose polyp had gotten so big that it was bleeding regularly. I’ve worked as an endoscopy tech for a year, and out of hundreds of colonoscopies that I’ve assisted on so far, I’ve only seen two that had polyps as large as mine was. Those people were much older too.
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I had symptoms for over seven years, was repeatedly misdiagnosed, and saw three different gastroenterologists before getting diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. The treatment has made a massive difference to my life. According to my gastroenterologist this isn’t an uncommon experience at all, at least amongst her patients. I hope your health is better now.
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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NTA! I’ve got access to two of my five children’s money. I have no idea how much is in either account and the only reason I would possibly go into the accounts is to add money for them. My youngest is in college and I deposit money in her account twice a month. It’s crazy to me that your mom is accessing the account often enough to be keeping track of expenditures and deposits. She needs a hobby.
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My husband is about to turn 40 and I’ve been pushing him to get alllllll the tests done but he’s resisting. I told him Look you do NOT want to die of butt cancer which is 1 super easily detected and 2 easily treated if caught early.
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Show him some pics of people dying of colon cancer. Colonoscopies weren’t exactly fun but dying of colon cancer is just about as bad as it gets.
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AITA for refusing to read someone's tarot? I (f31) like "witchy" things. Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science just getting that in), crystals etc. That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun. If I'm being audited by the IRS, I'm consulting an accountant, not tarot. My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctors appointment, didn't consult tarot. (Was benign, thank goodness). The most extreme I get would be having a run of the mill bad day, consulting tarot and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something. I have a friend, Grace (30's) who is in legal trouble. I don't know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn't a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences. Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused. A) because she hasn't done anything yet. Her court day is approaching and as far as I know, she still doesn't have legal representation, and B) tarot cards might give a "it's fine!" answer but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own. I told her no, she should really find a lawyer. Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn't being a good friend. I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn't always take long, and it could make her feel better. AITA? EDIT- I just got like, 7 inbox requests for tarot readings. I'm not doing that. Also, to answer some questions, I use tarot as a soothing tool, an advice tool, and yes, for fun. I find it helps me think things through more. It's more than a party game to me but it's not life and death.
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NTA. I read too and I very plainly tell people that I do not read for legal matters, medical matters, or pregnancy. The only time I will mention those three things is if they come up in the cards organically. It's fine to have boundaries.
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DAMMIT THATS GOOD! Each episode would be one or more cards put together. The pilot episode would be "The Empress and Judgement"
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This needs to be real! Keep tarot as the main thing, but have her start using other 'witchy' stuff as the episodes continue. Crystals, good luck charms, etc. All pointless, but the placebo effect is strong!
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ESH She should have told you to use it within reason. You should have used some common sense, the code is associated with her employment and it's use or abuse reflects on her and may cause her a problem. The reason companies monitor, limit and eliminate these perks is because of abuse like your shopping spree.
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Should have told you? Like it you're not grown enough to know when you shouldn't take advantage of something?
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AITA for refusing to read someone's tarot? I (f31) like "witchy" things. Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science just getting that in), crystals etc. That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun. If I'm being audited by the IRS, I'm consulting an accountant, not tarot. My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctors appointment, didn't consult tarot. (Was benign, thank goodness). The most extreme I get would be having a run of the mill bad day, consulting tarot and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something. I have a friend, Grace (30's) who is in legal trouble. I don't know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn't a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences. Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused. A) because she hasn't done anything yet. Her court day is approaching and as far as I know, she still doesn't have legal representation, and B) tarot cards might give a "it's fine!" answer but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own. I told her no, she should really find a lawyer. Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn't being a good friend. I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn't always take long, and it could make her feel better. AITA? EDIT- I just got like, 7 inbox requests for tarot readings. I'm not doing that. Also, to answer some questions, I use tarot as a soothing tool, an advice tool, and yes, for fun. I find it helps me think things through more. It's more than a party game to me but it's not life and death.
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The obvious answer here is what everyone said, that the tarot has informed you that she will be in big trouble unless she prepares.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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INFO: When she suggested it, did she in any way hint at wanting to go with you too?
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[deleted]
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If your normal at home bowel habits change for more than 5 days.
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The sex joke has a very different dynamic when it's one friend to another getting off a call vs a couple in a room and the third person is the spare wheel being dismissed. Can you honestly not see the difference? And she asked to come in and hang out, you said she could and then after 20 mins decided you were tired like a 5 year old? You owe her a sincere apology and she deserves a better friend.
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I don’t really see the difference. I struggle with empathy so I guess that’s why I posted this here.
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This is how we learn. There’s some friends of our kids who are OK for sleepovers, camping on the Cape, going to New York City. But you have to get to know them first. I made the mistake of letting one of my kids bring one of his friends to climb Mount Washington. The kids talk nonstop. It was unbelievable. You have to figure these things out ahead ahead of time. Now you know.
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Yes, it was definitely a lesson learned. It’s a shame because every other friend we’ve brought with us has been well behaved, doesn’t complain and we always have a fun time. But now we’ll stick to friends we know can handle it.
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AITA for not wanting my niece and nephew in my baby’s room? My husband’s brother and his kids (2.5F and 5.5M) come over pretty often. I try to make our house fun and comfortable for them and we have a backyard play area, a living room play area, and even the basement you can run around in. But every time they’re here, they end up in my 7-month-old daughter’s room. They’ll pull everything off her shelves and make a total mess. What bothers me even more is that their dad goes in there with them, sits down, and just lets it happen. They don’t clean up afterward either, so I’m left to do it. I feel like bedrooms are private spaces you only enter if invited, especially a baby’s room. I already clean up after them in the shared areas, but it really bothers me that they’re also going upstairs into her room and wrecking it. I don’t want to be a jerk about it, but I also don’t want my daughter’s room constantly trashed. AITA if I tell them they’re not allowed in her room?
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Put a high latch on the door that cannot be reached by little ones. Next, have a toy basket for them ready to play with when they come. I've always done this for kids who visit. When it's time for them to leave, explain toys need to be placed back in the basket because we want their toys to stay safe.
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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Are you old enough to open a new account that she has no links to? If so do that and move your money over.
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NTA. Tell them flat out they are not allowed in that room. Lock the door. Tell them that if they are not going to clean up after their kids, they need to stop coming over. You are not their maid. Ideally, your husband should be doing this but you don't mention him or his stand. If he won't talk to them and make them behave when they visit, refuse to have them visit.
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Since it sounds like all the bedrooms are upstairs and they don't need to be up there at all, OP could install a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs.
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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your Mom doesn't know what it means to be accountable. That explains why she yelled at you in the morning.
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So when you told your son about the trip, did you present it as “Your stepmom had a great suggestion for something she thought you would enjoy.”? Or did she hear your son gushing about his excitement, while you did not give her credit? It sounds like to me she is mad at YOU. I suspect YTA, not for your son’s behavior, but maybe for your willingness to take credit in your son’s eyes.
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Well it was supposed to be a surprise but she accidentally told him about it a few weeks ago. At that point I told him it was her idea and I followed up with that with him today.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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She sounds insufferable. Expecting fawning gratitude from a kid because something was her idea. NTA
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*You’re* fantabulous!
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Aww, shucks.
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Seriously, I think I need a god damn nap just by *reading* what that person went through. But I'm probably going to Google a TOS procedure, getting a friggin rib removed and that stops blood clots in the shoulder (under certain conditions)? Bodies are weird as hell!
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> But I'm probably going to Google a TOS procedure, getting a friggin rib removed and that stops blood clots in the shoulder (under certain conditions)? As the Subclavian vein passes over the shoulder, it goes through a small triangle-shaped opening between the 1st rib and scalene (neck) muscles. In cases where there is insufficient space for this to occur, every time the arm is raised it compresses the vein. After happening countless thousands of times, it sustains internal damage. Eventually, this damage can impede the blood flow to the point of you waking up one morning with Popeye Arm; the lack of blood flow can easily cause the arm to swell to double in size! This is also known as the type of clot that typically only healthy people get. Several athletes in recent years have suffered from them, especially basketball players. Victor Wembanyama and Brandon Ingram are recent example of this happening in that location. Myself? I have spent years with powerlifting as a hobby, giving my traps and upper body core muscles (including the scalene) significantly more size than average. Combine this with what my Thoracic surgeon called the 'largest, thickest 1st rib' he's ever operated on, and there was nowhere near enough room for the vein to operate normally. He even thought I had broken the rib at some point because of an extra articulation at the end, but then saw the other side was the same. (A side note: Because of this, I can announce to people with no irony that "I'm not fat, I'm big boned! My surgeon said so!") Anyways, the damage in my veins was severe on both sides. Even with the surgery and blood thinners, it took nearly 3 years before the right side saw any appreciable amount of blood flow. The left? Still barely any. Thankfully, the human body has this wonderous special function of being able to grow NEW collateral veins over time to reroute blood flow to where it needs to go. I have enough of them now on both sides that I've downgraded from Eliquis to baby aspirin for a thinner. Let's talk blood thinners a bit more, specifically living on them. (/r/ClotSurvivors would have a field day with this one!) Your body operates very differently on thinners. Cuts, bruises, etc. that would normally heal in minutes or hours can persist for weeks or even months. I personally carried a "bleed bag" because getting cut at work was a real possibility; this included gels and powders which had clotting agents infused, and even special infused bandages and wraps. Get a bloody nose? Be ready to sit there for God knows how long waiting for it to stop. Well, not if you have [Nampons]( or the like. Several months ago I cut myself really good at work. It was a deep inch-plus long gash on the meat of my palm under the left thumb. I immedately ripped open two packets of [BleedStop]( powder, slammed it into the wound and put pressure on it. It sealed it up in minutes. As for how long it took to heal? After two weeks it barely did anything. I ended up cycling off the thinners for 2-3 days at a time (which is low risk in this case) to allow the healing process to speed up. Actually, I should say that in the time I cycled off of them, it was like Wolverine and Deadpool had a love child. Compared to being on the thinners, the body acted like it was saving up energy to go into overdrive once the dam was broken. Cycling back to the rib removal, should also say that they don't remove the entire rib or muscle, only a section large enough to allow the vein free movement. I just checked the surgical notes, they removed a 1.5x0.7x0.5cm section of anterior scalene muscle along with a 4.5x4.5x1.5cm section of rib. Unfortunately, the surgery was the EASIEST part of it all. The hardest? Removing a section of core muscle meant that my CNS no longer knew how to fire everything off correctly. For 3 months after going under the knife, carrying a gallon of milk across the room felt like a 300lb yoke on my back, muscles pulling and firing off seemingly at random to stabilize the movement. It was a 5lb weight limit restriction for 3 months combined with doing thousands of repetitive baby movements for several months to teach my body how to operate normally again. For a while after that, things felt better... until I had a Godfather III moment (one of a few over the years with all this) *"Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in!"* About 5 months after surgery, I was improving, back in the gym, etc. until one day I must of turned a bit the wrong way which caused my body to **NOPE** out of it all. The pain, I can only equate to what it would be like to be shot repeatedly. My right shoulder blade area felt like someone had slammed a molten hot ice pick and was swishing it around like the Wicked Witch of the West. There I was, a 47 year old weightlifter, slumped over my stove, unable to move, screaming and bawling like a fucking banshee. It didn't go away quickly. It was weeks before I felt even mildly normal. Even after that, for several months afterward I could feel it lingering back there like a little gremlin, giving tiny tweaks as if to say, "I'm still heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!" It was over half a year before I trusted myself to even go to the gym to stretch. This put a huge strain on my mental health for a long time. So yeah... Now you know what causes this particular kind of clot, the surgery involved, and the trials and tribulations of recovery.
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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So its a concern for people age 20 to 50, but you're only screening people aged 45 and above? While also saying how important it is to catch it early?
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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Your wife is the ahole.
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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This happened to me! I almost cancelled my colonoscopy so many times but ultimately I went. No symptoms. Needed a ten hour surgery and an ileostomy that was reversed after a few months. I was Stage 1. So so lucky.
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I started getting checked at 35 due to family history, I just want to say that getting a colonoscopy is **NOT A BIG DEAL**, and I wish people would stop acting like it's an arduous process. The prep makes you poop a few times and you can't eat solid food for a few hours, the actual procedure takes like 30 minutes and you get to take the rest of the day off and rest easy for a few years until you need to do it again. The first time I got checked they found several pre-cancerous polyps... I am sure that every year there are a lot of people who decide not to go through with it because they think it sounds scary or difficult and they end up dying way too early because of it.
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man i had like 5-6x blood in stool as well as recurring odd diarrhea and they still wont let me pass any test what soever...healthcare system failing lol wtf im 35
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Spouse survived CRC because they were proactive. As bad as colonoscopy prep is, it doesn’t come close to chemo.
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I swear I thought I was going to throw up trying to drink all of what I was supposed to.
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AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes? My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.” I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount. When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble. So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?
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Its like lending someone your credit card but then acting offended that theres charges on it that you havent done. Shes an asshole.
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AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes? My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.” I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount. When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble. So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?
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What’s missing here is, did she have permission to give her code out to family? In my experience this can be a fireable offense.
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AITA My best friend is upset about how we communicated for her to leave and I do not know what to do. [deleted]
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NTA.
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AITA for not giving the full amount of insurance money to my daughter for her car? I (46F) gave my daughter (19F) a car for her 18th birthday. For her to stay on my car insurance plan, it was cheaper if her car stayed in my name. She made the decision and I agreed. She paid me the amount it cost per month to have her on my plan which is less than it would be for her to pay for her car and herself on my plan, at liability only. Sometimes she missed payments, she struggled some, but paid most. I was never concerned about her payments and never asked her for money, just wanting to give her some help at the beginning of her adult life, she seemed to be very concerned with paying me even when I told her not to worry about it. What I was concerned about is how she drives. She ended up with 4 speeding tickets in 3 states as far as I know that I found out after the fact plus she blew the engine racing my favorite car that I let her drive because she liked it better than the car I gave her. She won't admit fault on that and says it's because that model engine is bad which is also true, but that car is not made for driving that way and I was left with a broken car. So instead of only having the liability insurance on her car, I decided to put full coverage because it is in my name and I wanted protection. Her insurance cost did not increase, I paid the difference but when I tried to talk to her about these things so she could understand and learn she would shut me down, saying she was busy or didn't care. Well, she rear ended another car in the rain and her car was totaled (not much damage to either vehicle though, no injuries). If she only had the liability insurance there would have been no reimbursement at all, but since I had full coverage on her car there was a payout. I told her the good news and explained that she had a choice to make - She could have the exact amount of the money the insurance wants for the pay back of the vehicle. -or- She could have the vehicle in its current condition to fix herself. She chose the money, I gave her the money and then she told me that I stole money from her because I didn't give her the full amount of the insurance money, but the car was her birthday present, not my insurance. Am I the AH for not giving her the entire amount? * Edited to add that she is an adult and is not living in my home all the time (her address was home though and she came home on weekends). I didn't find out about the tickets until later but I found out that she was speeding/racing when she blew up my car. I did keep her on my insurance and give her a second chance as she said she was being safe and driving better, which she wasn't but I didn't know that. When she rear ended someone and shortly after I found out about the ticket, the first thing I did was take her off my insurance. Some replies sound confused - the money that I gave her was the buy back insurance money for her car but I didn't give her the entire full coverage amount, only the amount of the car to purchase it back from the insurance after a car is totaled. She was only paying for liability insurance and the car was a gift. She is an adult and I only knew so much. Let's be fair. ** Another Edit - I didn't expect some of these responses. Not spoiled at all (went without so much and watched other family be spoiled while she got nothing, like not allowed to eat the fruit that was served sort if stuff), severely abused in the co-parenting house and acting out of trauma (sometimes that can look like entitlement). I took her to therapy as a minor. I didn't know about the ticket until after she totaled her car, I took her off my insurance immediately. Not sure there is more I could have done, just on here trying to ask if I should have given her all the insurance money or not...or perhaps none of the money but the buy back amount wasn't really enough to buy another car, except maybe a beater that she certainly wouldn't be able to race or act wild in. *** Edit - her totaled car didn't have much damage (neither did the other car) and no injuries. The car I gave her was a Honda CRV all wheel drive with high miles that isn't really able to be "raced". The rear end accident happened in the rain and she slid into the other car. Not making excuses, just trying to make this more clear based on what people are assuming and commenting. Timeline - I gave her the CRV for her birthday, she liked driving my car to work because she has a good job and it's nicer and I like the CRV for my rural roads, engine blew and she took my car to the mechanic who said these cars have a notorious engine problem so she blamed it on that but she admitted to racing a friend of hers, she started driving her own car which can't be driven hard and she promises to drive good, I give her a second chance, she gets a speeding ticket and rear ends another car totaling the CRV (but not much damage) at pretty much the same time and I immediately remove her from my insurance. I followed my agents advice from the beginning, her address was our house and she was here on weekends, stayed with friends while working in the city. Other tickets accumulated between 3 states. I'm not sure I'm completely accurate on exactly what tickets she got and when, I've been trying to figure some things out including a letter that came from our state. I haven't been meaning to make excuses, just trying to explain and answer comments so people can make judgments with accurate knowledge not assumptions.
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ESH. You raised an entitled, reckless, self centered AH. You continue to enable her. You should never have purchased her a car in the first place. You should have registered the title in her name and made her pay her own insurance. If she decided to be uninsured or underinsured or liability only then she would be responsible for her predicament. The consequences of her actions are the price she pays for making immature, irresponsible and foolish decisions. You’re the AH for letting her drive your car when she has her own, for no other reason than “she likes mine better”. You knew she was a reckless driver and is out on the streets endangering herself and society. She could have killed some one. Be glad it’s a blown engine and not a death of someone. That would have been your financial responsibility because you hold the title and insurance policy on the car. Sure, she’d face legal ramifications, but your insurance would be the one who had to pay out and your rates would increase and they might even drop your policy if she was recklessly driving and charged with manslaughter or reckless driving and endangerment causing injury. Yet, you still enabled her and let her drive/race/ speed in your car AND still insured her car and kept her car registered in your name. You should not have given her anything.The car was registered in your name. The insurance policy is yours that you pay, some times fully. She has never paid full price for the insurance premium on her car and sometimes skipped it completely. She’s not legally entitled to a cent as she is not the owner of the car or the insurance policy. You are. She’s lucky you gave her anything at all - even buy back value was too much. Even enough for a “beater” is too much. She should not be given the opportunity to buy another car. She’s reckless and should not be driving. Hopefully, with all those tickets and an at fault accident now, the state will suspend her license and even better Require SR-22 insuance. But, seeing as you raised the AH, with or without the childhood abuse and trauma response, you’re enabling and raised her to be entitled. So, you’re getting a dose of well deserved karma now that she’s turned her selfish entitlement on you.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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NTA. She sounds insufferable. How did you not know this before the wedding?
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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I hope you don't enable your wife by making your son thank her for doing nothing. If I make people thank me for everytime I have an idea then I'll never hear the end of it. Unless she went out her way to pay and planned everything then she's not owed a thanks.
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But that still tracks back to the aunt. If she might get in* trouble, she shouldn't have given the code or told her a limit at least. Eta: in.
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This, she should have been clear about number of items and dollar amout!
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How could she know she was "taking advantage" unless she was told there was a limit? I just don't see how OP could have known.
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"If you need anything," usually implies reasonable requests.
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Thank you. How are you feeling? We found out today that he has moderately differentiated adenocarcinoma. He has one 30mm tumour and his CT scan is next week where we will find out what stage he’s at. Hopefully he will also be stage 1 or 2.
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I feel great, thank you. I had a great surgeon and I've kept myself in decent shape, so my body has recovered well. I have a temporary stoma until mid November, but I wasn't able to keep my rectum. I thankfully won't need chemo. I'll be keeping your friends husband in my thoughts and hoping the best for all of you.
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My husband is about to turn 40 and I’ve been pushing him to get alllllll the tests done but he’s resisting. I told him Look you do NOT want to die of butt cancer which is 1 super easily detected and 2 easily treated if caught early.
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and its pretty much a discomfort for a day or two. compared to possible death uh I'll take it.
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NTA, but if he has a lease you can't kick him out in the middle of the lease (for no good reason). You have to give him notice before the lease ends that you won't be renewing.
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It’s going to end in January, but lots of people around told me it usually renews every year and that I can’t tell him to move out easily so I am not really sure how it’s going to work out
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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Im just saying do you pay rent buy your own food and who bought your first car and have they sent you money for whatever you need if you get a lump some you should give a little back to them just saying she not have just taken it that's wrong but in hindsight kinda fair just saying it could have been handled better q
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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Me = 47yr old man, decent health, worked out off and on throughout life. Non-smoker, social drinker. Had a lump on neck that I thought was from having covid. Non-hodgkins lymphoma at 45 - chemo and radiation. First colonoscopy due to age, no symptoms. Colorectal cancer at 46 - surgery to remove 4 inches of colon and chemo. Don't be an idiot, get tested.
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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Yeah. Turning 40 in a few months and I got this to look forward to.
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AITA for not bringing my daughter’s friend home and making her parents come get her? My daughter and I live about an hour outside NYC. Since she was a baby, I’ve taken her there most weekends. As she got older, she occasionally brought friends. They always know the rules: bring a bag with things for the train, carry your own stuff, stick together, expect lots of walking, and have fun. Phones are fine, but I encourage screen-free activities. I always speak to parents beforehand and emphasize the walking, we sometimes walk 45 minutes or more. For her 12th birthday last weekend, she wanted to go to the city with friends, visit favorite spots, have dinner, and maybe see a show. My mom helped pay for tickets and joined us. My daughter invited three girls: two longtime friends who know the routine and a new friend, “Leah.” I called Leah’s mom, explained the rules, warned about the walking, and suggested Leah bring something for the train since the signal is bad. Leah’s mom said she was excited. My daughter also explained expectations. On the train, Leah brought only her phone, got bored when the signal cut out, refused to chat or play games with the others, and complained. When we arrived, she immediately asked for a cab. My daughter reminded her we walk. As we browsed shops, Leah kept whining and asking for a cab. I stayed patient, offered water and snack breaks, and even suggested the subway to be nice, but she refused when she learned what it was. A few hours in, we stopped for dinner at a place with options for everyone. Leah complained again and said she wanted to go home. I pulled her aside to check if she was sick or upset; she just said it was boring. I told her we’d be there a few more hours for the show, but if she wanted to leave, she could call her mom. Leah called, and her mom asked me to bring her back. Even if my mom or I left with Leah and took a train back after we dropped her off, we’d miss the show, and my daughter wanted both of us there. I explained we wouldn’t head back until after the show. Leah’s mom didn’t want to pay for a train ticket or drive. She eventually sent Leah’s dad, who picked her up before the show. Leah stayed crabby through dinner. Afterward, Leah’s mom trashed me to the other moms, but they backed me up, saying they wouldn’t expect me to cut the trip short unless a child was sick or hurt (which I would do). Now Leah’s mom won’t let her hang out with my daughter. I can’t help wondering if I should’ve just sucked it up and taken her home. AITA?
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Nta. Kids sounds like an entitled brat
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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NTA. She deserves no thanks. It was an idea but you organized and paid for it. She did nothing. It sounds like she is just looking for an excuse to complain about your son.
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AITA for refusing to read someone's tarot? I (f31) like "witchy" things. Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science just getting that in), crystals etc. That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun. If I'm being audited by the IRS, I'm consulting an accountant, not tarot. My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctors appointment, didn't consult tarot. (Was benign, thank goodness). The most extreme I get would be having a run of the mill bad day, consulting tarot and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something. I have a friend, Grace (30's) who is in legal trouble. I don't know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn't a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences. Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused. A) because she hasn't done anything yet. Her court day is approaching and as far as I know, she still doesn't have legal representation, and B) tarot cards might give a "it's fine!" answer but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own. I told her no, she should really find a lawyer. Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn't being a good friend. I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn't always take long, and it could make her feel better. AITA? EDIT- I just got like, 7 inbox requests for tarot readings. I'm not doing that. Also, to answer some questions, I use tarot as a soothing tool, an advice tool, and yes, for fun. I find it helps me think things through more. It's more than a party game to me but it's not life and death.
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I find tarot card readings help walk you through your feelings and thoughts about a particular issue, and view things a little bit more objectively and potentially from another angle. A Celtic cross reading helps examines the circumstances that led up to where you are, and maybe opens your eyes to some current pros and cons about decisions you might be considering. Tarot readings are not intended for a black or white answer. A good tarot reading should be about reflection and discovery in all the shades of gray. I’m not a master reader, but I would certainly have helped your friend out by doing a reading for her. It actually could’ve relaxed her and let her know that whatever happens in her case, there will be opportunities for personal growth. You may have grounded her and given her some sense of peace. YTA
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AITA for not wanting my niece and nephew in my baby’s room? My husband’s brother and his kids (2.5F and 5.5M) come over pretty often. I try to make our house fun and comfortable for them and we have a backyard play area, a living room play area, and even the basement you can run around in. But every time they’re here, they end up in my 7-month-old daughter’s room. They’ll pull everything off her shelves and make a total mess. What bothers me even more is that their dad goes in there with them, sits down, and just lets it happen. They don’t clean up afterward either, so I’m left to do it. I feel like bedrooms are private spaces you only enter if invited, especially a baby’s room. I already clean up after them in the shared areas, but it really bothers me that they’re also going upstairs into her room and wrecking it. I don’t want to be a jerk about it, but I also don’t want my daughter’s room constantly trashed. AITA if I tell them they’re not allowed in her room?
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NTA. When my son was about 6 or so, when we had his cousins come over they would go into his room and destroy it by doing the same thing. He asked me the next time can he close his door and not allow anyone in it. I told him if he did that HE ALSO couldn’t go in there to play or get any toys. He told me that’s fine. So the next time they came over and wanted to go into his room, I stoped them and said cousin doesn’t want anyone in his room. We can play with the toys he brought out. The kids were fine with it…the adults were all saying it wasn’t fair he had all the toys “locked away”. I told them it was his choice and that’s the way it was going to go. If you have a lock on her door…lock it!
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AITA for not wanting my niece and nephew in my baby’s room? My husband’s brother and his kids (2.5F and 5.5M) come over pretty often. I try to make our house fun and comfortable for them and we have a backyard play area, a living room play area, and even the basement you can run around in. But every time they’re here, they end up in my 7-month-old daughter’s room. They’ll pull everything off her shelves and make a total mess. What bothers me even more is that their dad goes in there with them, sits down, and just lets it happen. They don’t clean up afterward either, so I’m left to do it. I feel like bedrooms are private spaces you only enter if invited, especially a baby’s room. I already clean up after them in the shared areas, but it really bothers me that they’re also going upstairs into her room and wrecking it. I don’t want to be a jerk about it, but I also don’t want my daughter’s room constantly trashed. AITA if I tell them they’re not allowed in her room?
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Telling kids will do nothing. You need to put a lock on the door
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AITA for not bringing my daughter’s friend home and making her parents come get her? My daughter and I live about an hour outside NYC. Since she was a baby, I’ve taken her there most weekends. As she got older, she occasionally brought friends. They always know the rules: bring a bag with things for the train, carry your own stuff, stick together, expect lots of walking, and have fun. Phones are fine, but I encourage screen-free activities. I always speak to parents beforehand and emphasize the walking, we sometimes walk 45 minutes or more. For her 12th birthday last weekend, she wanted to go to the city with friends, visit favorite spots, have dinner, and maybe see a show. My mom helped pay for tickets and joined us. My daughter invited three girls: two longtime friends who know the routine and a new friend, “Leah.” I called Leah’s mom, explained the rules, warned about the walking, and suggested Leah bring something for the train since the signal is bad. Leah’s mom said she was excited. My daughter also explained expectations. On the train, Leah brought only her phone, got bored when the signal cut out, refused to chat or play games with the others, and complained. When we arrived, she immediately asked for a cab. My daughter reminded her we walk. As we browsed shops, Leah kept whining and asking for a cab. I stayed patient, offered water and snack breaks, and even suggested the subway to be nice, but she refused when she learned what it was. A few hours in, we stopped for dinner at a place with options for everyone. Leah complained again and said she wanted to go home. I pulled her aside to check if she was sick or upset; she just said it was boring. I told her we’d be there a few more hours for the show, but if she wanted to leave, she could call her mom. Leah called, and her mom asked me to bring her back. Even if my mom or I left with Leah and took a train back after we dropped her off, we’d miss the show, and my daughter wanted both of us there. I explained we wouldn’t head back until after the show. Leah’s mom didn’t want to pay for a train ticket or drive. She eventually sent Leah’s dad, who picked her up before the show. Leah stayed crabby through dinner. Afterward, Leah’s mom trashed me to the other moms, but they backed me up, saying they wouldn’t expect me to cut the trip short unless a child was sick or hurt (which I would do). Now Leah’s mom won’t let her hang out with my daughter. I can’t help wondering if I should’ve just sucked it up and taken her home. AITA?
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Why do I have the feeling that Leah does not have any rules at home? NTA! Her mum sure is. I cannot imagine any scenario in which my kid would me and I’d refuse to come get them.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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NTA. Your wife needs to grow up and start acting like an adult.
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I work in colorectal cancer research (especially early onset) and have more and more patients with advanced disease who are teens and young adults. If there are ANY changes to your bowel habits, or if anything else in the bathroom is not quite right, talk to a doctor. Look into Cologuard if you are uncomfortable with the idea of a colonoscopy - it's an at-home screening test. Let's get more comfortable talking about our butts!
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Has research pointed to any evidence pointing as a cause for this? Is it the glyphosate rampant in our food supply in the US? Edit: FYI glyphosate = Roundup
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That's fair. I let her drive my car and then gave her a second chance after she blew the engine racing, then she drove her car which was a Honda CRV all wheel drive that can't be raced, so that part was no longer an issue. I didn't know about the tickets until after she totaled the CRV. I had already taken her off my insurance. I'm genuinely interested in your perspective knowing more of the details.
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Yes I still believe you were an asshole for giving her any amount of money. Insurance gave you that money to recoup *your* loss. You daughter didn't have a loss. These cars were not hers, and she broke TWO of them. If she wants to be treated like an adult she needs to act like one and that means enduring the adult consequences. She chose not to buy full coverage insurance, she chose not to learn about insurance when you tried to talk to her, and she chose to drive recklessly COUNTLESS times. She should be out of a car until she can afford one herself because she has proven over and over that she doesn't respect the things she is just handed. It's evil that you are just letting her have a third (because by the time you gave her that money you DID know about the tickets and such) when there has been no indication she is different. Being a parent means sometimes your kid will be mad at you, but you aren't her friend, you are her mother. Imagine if you were invited to a friend's daughter's birthday party and you gifted a doll. A year later, that friend sends you a Venmo request for a new doll because her daughter colored all over it in sharpie last week. That would be insane right? Your daughter ruined her own gift, you aren't supposed to just replace it over and over because the first one was a gift.
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Scary Poppins 😨
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What a fabulous Halloween costume idea!!
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AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes? My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.” I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount. When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble. So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?
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YTA, slightly. I think it's probably commonly understood with something like this that you don't go hog-wild. It sounds like you went hog-wild.
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Sounds like Leah isn't a good social fit for anyone.
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I hope it’s a learning experience for her as a 12 year old.
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Tarot doesn't read the future, it just tells you the likely possibilities. In her case, she very likely needs a lawyer...
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Do people really believe that? It's a deck of cards. It doesn't tell you shit lolmao.
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AITA for not bringing my daughter’s friend home and making her parents come get her? My daughter and I live about an hour outside NYC. Since she was a baby, I’ve taken her there most weekends. As she got older, she occasionally brought friends. They always know the rules: bring a bag with things for the train, carry your own stuff, stick together, expect lots of walking, and have fun. Phones are fine, but I encourage screen-free activities. I always speak to parents beforehand and emphasize the walking, we sometimes walk 45 minutes or more. For her 12th birthday last weekend, she wanted to go to the city with friends, visit favorite spots, have dinner, and maybe see a show. My mom helped pay for tickets and joined us. My daughter invited three girls: two longtime friends who know the routine and a new friend, “Leah.” I called Leah’s mom, explained the rules, warned about the walking, and suggested Leah bring something for the train since the signal is bad. Leah’s mom said she was excited. My daughter also explained expectations. On the train, Leah brought only her phone, got bored when the signal cut out, refused to chat or play games with the others, and complained. When we arrived, she immediately asked for a cab. My daughter reminded her we walk. As we browsed shops, Leah kept whining and asking for a cab. I stayed patient, offered water and snack breaks, and even suggested the subway to be nice, but she refused when she learned what it was. A few hours in, we stopped for dinner at a place with options for everyone. Leah complained again and said she wanted to go home. I pulled her aside to check if she was sick or upset; she just said it was boring. I told her we’d be there a few more hours for the show, but if she wanted to leave, she could call her mom. Leah called, and her mom asked me to bring her back. Even if my mom or I left with Leah and took a train back after we dropped her off, we’d miss the show, and my daughter wanted both of us there. I explained we wouldn’t head back until after the show. Leah’s mom didn’t want to pay for a train ticket or drive. She eventually sent Leah’s dad, who picked her up before the show. Leah stayed crabby through dinner. Afterward, Leah’s mom trashed me to the other moms, but they backed me up, saying they wouldn’t expect me to cut the trip short unless a child was sick or hurt (which I would do). Now Leah’s mom won’t let her hang out with my daughter. I can’t help wondering if I should’ve just sucked it up and taken her home. AITA?
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NTA. That was not a reasonable request. Leah's mom should have told her to cut the crap and do her best to enjoy herself, and stop being so whiny and ungracious. OR if leaving was the preferred solution, they needed work that out. As you said, she was not hurt or injured. Requiring you to leave the party would not have necessarily been a reasonable thing to ask of your mother - to chaperone three girls in the city for the remainder of the day - and it would have cost you a lot in the lost ticket sales. This is where Leah gets her entitlement from, evidently. Leah's mom should have been apologizing for her daughter dragging everyone down the whole time. It's unfortunate that your daughter is being punished as a result of this but again, not your fault.
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Absolutely NTA. If you ever invite a newbie again, make the parents know they are responsible for picking up their kid if they want to leave early.
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Or invite the mother to come along. That way they can leave together if it isn’t their cup of tea. Or you and Mom may hit it off and enjoy yourselves.
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🤣 I have asked them to leave the room a couple times nicely but I’m very non confrontational
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Hey OP, I’m not the best at confrontation, but the way I place it sometimes in the way I have to deal with it is I’m not confronting them for my own peace of mind or personal space. I’m doing it for someone I love who cannot for whatever reason stand for themselves, i.e. your child who cannot protect her bedroom. So you need to put on your mom pants on and be like y’all need to get the hell out of my kids room and stay out.
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> But I'm probably going to Google a TOS procedure, getting a friggin rib removed and that stops blood clots in the shoulder (under certain conditions)? As the Subclavian vein passes over the shoulder, it goes through a small triangle-shaped opening between the 1st rib and scalene (neck) muscles. In cases where there is insufficient space for this to occur, every time the arm is raised it compresses the vein. After happening countless thousands of times, it sustains internal damage. Eventually, this damage can impede the blood flow to the point of you waking up one morning with Popeye Arm; the lack of blood flow can easily cause the arm to swell to double in size! This is also known as the type of clot that typically only healthy people get. Several athletes in recent years have suffered from them, especially basketball players. Victor Wembanyama and Brandon Ingram are recent example of this happening in that location. Myself? I have spent years with powerlifting as a hobby, giving my traps and upper body core muscles (including the scalene) significantly more size than average. Combine this with what my Thoracic surgeon called the 'largest, thickest 1st rib' he's ever operated on, and there was nowhere near enough room for the vein to operate normally. He even thought I had broken the rib at some point because of an extra articulation at the end, but then saw the other side was the same. (A side note: Because of this, I can announce to people with no irony that "I'm not fat, I'm big boned! My surgeon said so!") Anyways, the damage in my veins was severe on both sides. Even with the surgery and blood thinners, it took nearly 3 years before the right side saw any appreciable amount of blood flow. The left? Still barely any. Thankfully, the human body has this wonderous special function of being able to grow NEW collateral veins over time to reroute blood flow to where it needs to go. I have enough of them now on both sides that I've downgraded from Eliquis to baby aspirin for a thinner. Let's talk blood thinners a bit more, specifically living on them. (/r/ClotSurvivors would have a field day with this one!) Your body operates very differently on thinners. Cuts, bruises, etc. that would normally heal in minutes or hours can persist for weeks or even months. I personally carried a "bleed bag" because getting cut at work was a real possibility; this included gels and powders which had clotting agents infused, and even special infused bandages and wraps. Get a bloody nose? Be ready to sit there for God knows how long waiting for it to stop. Well, not if you have [Nampons]( or the like. Several months ago I cut myself really good at work. It was a deep inch-plus long gash on the meat of my palm under the left thumb. I immedately ripped open two packets of [BleedStop]( powder, slammed it into the wound and put pressure on it. It sealed it up in minutes. As for how long it took to heal? After two weeks it barely did anything. I ended up cycling off the thinners for 2-3 days at a time (which is low risk in this case) to allow the healing process to speed up. Actually, I should say that in the time I cycled off of them, it was like Wolverine and Deadpool had a love child. Compared to being on the thinners, the body acted like it was saving up energy to go into overdrive once the dam was broken. Cycling back to the rib removal, should also say that they don't remove the entire rib or muscle, only a section large enough to allow the vein free movement. I just checked the surgical notes, they removed a 1.5x0.7x0.5cm section of anterior scalene muscle along with a 4.5x4.5x1.5cm section of rib. Unfortunately, the surgery was the EASIEST part of it all. The hardest? Removing a section of core muscle meant that my CNS no longer knew how to fire everything off correctly. For 3 months after going under the knife, carrying a gallon of milk across the room felt like a 300lb yoke on my back, muscles pulling and firing off seemingly at random to stabilize the movement. It was a 5lb weight limit restriction for 3 months combined with doing thousands of repetitive baby movements for several months to teach my body how to operate normally again. For a while after that, things felt better... until I had a Godfather III moment (one of a few over the years with all this) *"Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in!"* About 5 months after surgery, I was improving, back in the gym, etc. until one day I must of turned a bit the wrong way which caused my body to **NOPE** out of it all. The pain, I can only equate to what it would be like to be shot repeatedly. My right shoulder blade area felt like someone had slammed a molten hot ice pick and was swishing it around like the Wicked Witch of the West. There I was, a 47 year old weightlifter, slumped over my stove, unable to move, screaming and bawling like a fucking banshee. It didn't go away quickly. It was weeks before I felt even mildly normal. Even after that, for several months afterward I could feel it lingering back there like a little gremlin, giving tiny tweaks as if to say, "I'm still heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!" It was over half a year before I trusted myself to even go to the gym to stretch. This put a huge strain on my mental health for a long time. So yeah... Now you know what causes this particular kind of clot, the surgery involved, and the trials and tribulations of recovery.
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You are an insanely good story teller. I have a horrible attention span but was completely engaged word for word lol. Also, bought both products you linked because they would definitely come in handy in my medical disaster household! Wishing you well 🙏🏻
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I actually laughed out loud at this. What card would that even be....justice is kinda on the nose.
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I once was failing a college class because I hadn't started a project, I needed some help starting and had no clue about anything. Of course I hadn't asked any of the 3 or 5 people who could have helped over the course of the whole semester cause I was ashamed. So I went and pulled one card. Fucking Judgement. Swallowed my pride and called my mom on the spot. Ended up with a B- and happy with it. I'm so, so glad I hit that card, even if I would have ended up going for help for another reason. I knew what I needed to do, just needed to give myself an excuse to do it.
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My husband is about to turn 40 and I’ve been pushing him to get alllllll the tests done but he’s resisting. I told him Look you do NOT want to die of butt cancer which is 1 super easily detected and 2 easily treated if caught early.
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Check if your insurance will cover tests before 45.
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AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? My son (11) got to go to his first professional football game with myself and his grandfather. The game was several hours away, so we made a weekend of it, and got back just in time to shower, etc to go to bed because school tomorrow. My wife of five years had the idea for us to go this weekend, and I organized everything from there with my dad. Well, I get home, unpack etc and she’s just sitting quiet in our bedroom. For context, she did some house projects and cleaning over the weekend which I really appreciated and think are amazing. When I was telling her that on the way home she started huffing about me being messy (I’m not really messy, just not her level of clean) and saying I’m ungrateful for what she did. She then went radio silent. So I ask her if she’s going to talk to me at all since she barely said hi. She then tells me her feelings are hurt that I didn’t have my son come and tell her thank you for the weekend. I said oh I’m sorry, I was focused on him getting to bed but he does know it was originally your idea. She starts in on how it would have taken three seconds for him to do it, etc. She keeps harping on him (and by extension, me) about not being grateful to her. I had already told her thank you earlier in the day. AITA for not making my son thank his step mother first thing when we got home? Edit: she said she was sharing her feelings, not necessarily her expectations. But wouldn’t the cause of the feelings be an expectation? Update: Kiddo thanked her today. She asked if he was prompted to do so, which made him feel bad. Yes, there are lots of other issues with this being the most recent. I do think we are circling the drain.
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NTA An 11 year old wouldn't know on his own that it was important to thank his step-mom for coming up with the idea to go to the football game. Especailly late at night, etc. Clearly she's mad at YOU for not making this stupid little acknolwedgement happen....so could it be she feels unappreciated by you for the work she did AND the idea you all go away for the weekend and not only is she on her own (some people don't like that...I LOVE it), but that she also did things to improve the home? I bet if you had gushed over that stuff, she wouldn't have gotten all petty about the thank you.
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AITA that I don’t agree with my finance’s mom about if my fiancé should walk him down the isle or not, if his dad can be a groomsman, what shoes and dress I should wear, etc. Okay so my finance 23M and I 24F, are getting married next year. My parents already paid for the venue and reception, which I’m very grateful for, and don’t ask me anything in return which is so sweet. His parents are only paying for their place to stay and the reception dinner, which his dad was mad about, but his mom wanted to pay (we didn’t ask them to pay for anything). His mom wants him to walk her down the aisle, but he doesn’t want to, he thinks it’s weird and that she’s just wants that spotlight. His dad wants to be a groomsman because that’s what they’re used to at their church, but I’ve never seen that. I also don’t want her walking down the isle with him because that’ll make my mom feeling left out because she may have to walk by herself, since you know, my dad is walking with me. Everyone is going to have an important role except my own mom, which is the third most important person in the wedding beside my fiancé and I. She also was saying some of the dresses I tried on that I liked were ugly and she didn’t like them. She did buy my veil tho which was really nice. We went shoe shopping and I was trying on the ones that I liked but she said she really didn’t care for them and only liked the ones I didn’t like, but offered to pay for them. She wants all the groomsman and bridesmaids to walk by theirselves, but I want them to walk together. I also thought about having the bridesmaids haven’t different pastel colored dresses on and she wasn’t a fan. I don’t care if she has opinions about the wedding, but she wants everything done her way. I’m really close with my parents and they haven’t asked not one thing from me or want to influence my decision making because it’s “my day”. AITA for feeling a certain type of way about this?
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Phew! A lot going on here lol. Start with the small stuff. Consider having an attendant like a nephew or someone to escort your mother. That's how it's usually done where I'm from. His dad being a groomsman is a bit weird but if your fiance is okay with it, why not. As for the actual details? Two people are getting married. Two people should have the final say. She had her wedding. It's your turn now. And I've seen weddings with the bridesmaids in different pastel colors and it was beautiful. Also, one friend had hers in white dresses with different pastel sleeves and it was also beautiful. Wish we could see YOUR... read it again YOUR... final selections lol.
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How many Mets did you have? And did you do chemo? How long did it take to cure everything? Are you NED?
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I had 14 in my liver that were 2 cm and one in my right side that was 11.5 cm x 7cm when diagnosed in 2018. I had 30 heavy chemo cycles and 2 y90s prior to getting a 2nd opinion with a liver specialist who was able to operate on me after being told by others I'd be chemo for life and inoperable for a year and a half, even after responding well to chemo. After the 12 hour surgery in 2020 on my liver and colon, I stopped chemo to give my body a break. 6 months later it came back in my tailbone that led to 4 more systemic chemos, and 28 full pelvic chemoradiation sessions. After all that I had an APR surgery in June 2021 that also took my tailbone and part of my sacrum in addition to my anus and rectum. 2nd reoccurrence was in my lung, solitary met that was ablated,l in 2022, no chemo, and then my 3rd reoccurrence was in my hilar that we hit with 10 SABR radiation sessions in July 2024. A specialized blood test called Signatera has helped catch my latest reoccurrence so early that we've been able to avoid systemic chemo for over 4.5 years. I am currently NED on CTs and PET scans, but did have a very small positive on my Signatera but no matching imaging to find a location since January. I am hoping with there being a little less stress in my life after a big move last year that my immune system can do its thing and bring it back to negative. We shall see tho. My latest 3 were 0.25, 0.45, and 0.47 and while very low, my lung and hilar were both detected at 0.07 and 0.06 so I also monitor closely every 3 months with both blood work and imaging.
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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Thank you!! As an elder millennial who has constant colon trouble and is getting dismissed by doctors : what kind of at home tests are there and are they only for the US folks? Does anyone know about at home tests in Europe? It's very old woman yells at cloud but it would be so good if anyone knows bc I'm scared now. I've got all symptoms except the weight loss.
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AITA for not giving the full amount of insurance money to my daughter for her car? I (46F) gave my daughter (19F) a car for her 18th birthday. For her to stay on my car insurance plan, it was cheaper if her car stayed in my name. She made the decision and I agreed. She paid me the amount it cost per month to have her on my plan which is less than it would be for her to pay for her car and herself on my plan, at liability only. Sometimes she missed payments, she struggled some, but paid most. I was never concerned about her payments and never asked her for money, just wanting to give her some help at the beginning of her adult life, she seemed to be very concerned with paying me even when I told her not to worry about it. What I was concerned about is how she drives. She ended up with 4 speeding tickets in 3 states as far as I know that I found out after the fact plus she blew the engine racing my favorite car that I let her drive because she liked it better than the car I gave her. She won't admit fault on that and says it's because that model engine is bad which is also true, but that car is not made for driving that way and I was left with a broken car. So instead of only having the liability insurance on her car, I decided to put full coverage because it is in my name and I wanted protection. Her insurance cost did not increase, I paid the difference but when I tried to talk to her about these things so she could understand and learn she would shut me down, saying she was busy or didn't care. Well, she rear ended another car in the rain and her car was totaled (not much damage to either vehicle though, no injuries). If she only had the liability insurance there would have been no reimbursement at all, but since I had full coverage on her car there was a payout. I told her the good news and explained that she had a choice to make - She could have the exact amount of the money the insurance wants for the pay back of the vehicle. -or- She could have the vehicle in its current condition to fix herself. She chose the money, I gave her the money and then she told me that I stole money from her because I didn't give her the full amount of the insurance money, but the car was her birthday present, not my insurance. Am I the AH for not giving her the entire amount? * Edited to add that she is an adult and is not living in my home all the time (her address was home though and she came home on weekends). I didn't find out about the tickets until later but I found out that she was speeding/racing when she blew up my car. I did keep her on my insurance and give her a second chance as she said she was being safe and driving better, which she wasn't but I didn't know that. When she rear ended someone and shortly after I found out about the ticket, the first thing I did was take her off my insurance. Some replies sound confused - the money that I gave her was the buy back insurance money for her car but I didn't give her the entire full coverage amount, only the amount of the car to purchase it back from the insurance after a car is totaled. She was only paying for liability insurance and the car was a gift. She is an adult and I only knew so much. Let's be fair. ** Another Edit - I didn't expect some of these responses. Not spoiled at all (went without so much and watched other family be spoiled while she got nothing, like not allowed to eat the fruit that was served sort if stuff), severely abused in the co-parenting house and acting out of trauma (sometimes that can look like entitlement). I took her to therapy as a minor. I didn't know about the ticket until after she totaled her car, I took her off my insurance immediately. Not sure there is more I could have done, just on here trying to ask if I should have given her all the insurance money or not...or perhaps none of the money but the buy back amount wasn't really enough to buy another car, except maybe a beater that she certainly wouldn't be able to race or act wild in. *** Edit - her totaled car didn't have much damage (neither did the other car) and no injuries. The car I gave her was a Honda CRV all wheel drive with high miles that isn't really able to be "raced". The rear end accident happened in the rain and she slid into the other car. Not making excuses, just trying to make this more clear based on what people are assuming and commenting. Timeline - I gave her the CRV for her birthday, she liked driving my car to work because she has a good job and it's nicer and I like the CRV for my rural roads, engine blew and she took my car to the mechanic who said these cars have a notorious engine problem so she blamed it on that but she admitted to racing a friend of hers, she started driving her own car which can't be driven hard and she promises to drive good, I give her a second chance, she gets a speeding ticket and rear ends another car totaling the CRV (but not much damage) at pretty much the same time and I immediately remove her from my insurance. I followed my agents advice from the beginning, her address was our house and she was here on weekends, stayed with friends while working in the city. Other tickets accumulated between 3 states. I'm not sure I'm completely accurate on exactly what tickets she got and when, I've been trying to figure some things out including a letter that came from our state. I haven't been meaning to make excuses, just trying to explain and answer comments so people can make judgments with accurate knowledge not assumptions.
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Your daughter is too immature to be driving, please don’t let her drive. To many people die or are permanently disabled due to automobile accidents
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Thank you, you’re right I’m calling first thing tomorrow
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Did you call?
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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My mom was diagnosed in her sixties and got a piece of intestine removed. 10 years later they found a small polyp and removed it as well. She’s now 86 and going strong. I’ve had a couple colonoscopies and get screened periodically since I have digestive problems. For her it all started with a ‘weird shape’ in her stools. No pain, nothing.
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AITA My best friend is upset about how we communicated for her to leave and I do not know what to do. [deleted]
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NTA
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AITA for yelling at my mom after she removed my college refund from my bank account? I (21F) moved back home with my parents after being diagnosed with cancer last year (in remission now). I decided to stay home to attend community college since I don’t have enough money saved to move back to university. This month, I finally got my college refund disbursed. I was planning to use my refund to catch up on my student loans from the previous university I attended since my cancer treatment deferment was ending soon. Two days after I received my refund, I went to go check how much money I can use for my loan. I noticed that $500 from my account was missing and transferred to my mom’s bank account (I have a joint bank account with my mom since it was made when I was a minor, I didn’t mind her having access since she said it was a good idea for her to see my account for emergencies). I was confused and woke up my mom in the middle of the night to ask her why she removed $500 from my account. She said that she removed it because she thought it was a “final computation” or an extra refund from another class from my old university that my dad helped pay for (Context: I didn’t receive aid for a summer class I took last year in my previous school since I didn’t take enough units to qualify. I originally was enrolled in enough classes to qualify for aid, but had to drop them since I had to immediately get treatment for cancer). I was extremely confused because my dad let me use his card, then why would she think that a refund would go back into my bank account? Then, when I kept asking for an explanation, she said “I thought you would’ve noticed that your money is gone because I saw that you spent $5 at this store and $20 at another store, don’t you check your money before you buy anything?” and “I told your dad that I removed the $500 from your account because I thought it was an extra refund from your class”. I ended up yelling at her to put the money back in my account, that she can’t just remove it without saying or clarifying anything first, and wouldn’t stop until she gave me the money back. Even then, I just kept yelling at her out of frustration since I couldn’t understand why she thought she could remove it because the bank statement says that my refund came from my community college, not from the other university I attended. I was just so mad because she spent two days relying on me finding out by just checking my phone to see how much money I had. The second she saw me the next morning, she started yelling at me for waking her up just for a “small amount of money” and that I “should’ve asked her nicely” for her to give my money back. I honestly don’t know how to react at this point. AITA? Edit: I wanted to clarify that the refund I received is the leftover grant money from community college. I did not pull out any student loans this year. I am also considered an inactive student by my previous university since I was gone for a complete school year. I didn’t qualify to pull out a student loan or receive financial aid specifically during the summer of 2024, which was when I took the class my Dad helped pay for. My university already clarified to me that there was no extra loan or grant money was expected to be disbursed for that summer. Every refund that I have ever received was always disbursed within the first two weeks of the same quarter. If I did receive one, I would’ve received a notification that it was being disbursed and it wouldn’t have taken a year for my university to give me a refund.
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NTA but ffs you're 21, get mom off of your bank account! That needed to happen *3 years ago.* She does *not* need to be able to "see your bank account for emergencies." I'm betting she's the one who told you that was a good idea (edit: reading comprehension fail on my part - I missed that yes, yes she was, my bad. But yeah, no shock there). You should be regularly monitoring your accounts yourself (the only valid point she made). If she thought you owed her $500, she should have asked you for it. You're an adult, and it's about time both of you acted like that was the case. No more bank supervision/access by mommy.
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Do you have a butt? Read this. Every year, thousands of young people hear the words, “You have colorectal cancer” — cancer of the colon or rectum (parts of your digestive system). It’s terrifying. Colorectal cancer is the deadliest cancer in men under 50 and second in young women. But we’d be the assholes if we didn’t tell you the truth: It doesn’t have to be this way. Colorectal cancer, or CRC, is one of the most preventable cancers with screening and highly treatable if caught early. So why is it upending the lives of so many young people? In a word: *stigma*. Nobody likes talking about bowel habits, rectal bleeding, or colonoscopies. So… the conversation doesn’t happen. Too many people don’t know the symptoms. Too many symptoms get dismissed by healthcare providers. And too many diagnoses come late. Advanced colorectal cancer has a survival rate of just 13%. Science still hasn’t broken the code to cure every case of colorectal cancer. That’s why awareness, better screening access, and providers taking symptoms seriously are just as important as knowing the signs yourself. Here’s what you need to know: * CRC rates in under‑50s are rising. * Many are diagnosed in their 20s–40s — often after misdiagnoses. * A close family member with CRC doubles your risk. * Lynch syndrome or FAP = even higher risk. * Screening saves lives, and most people have testing options (including at-home tests). So why are *we* talking about this? r/AmItheAsshole is approaching 25 million members. To celebrate, we, the mods, have partnered with the Colorectal Cancer Alliance, a national nonprofit leading the mission to end this disease. Here’s how you can help: **1. Learn the symptoms.** Bleeding, persistent changes in bowel habits, unexplained weight loss, abdominal pain. Don’t ignore them. Advocate for yourself. **2. Get checked starting at 45.** If you’re average risk, you should start getting checked for CRC at age 45. Some people need to get checked earlier. The Alliance’s [screening quiz]( can provide you with a recommendation. **3. Support the mission.** Your donation funds prevention programs, patient support, and research to end colorectal cancer. Even a small gift could help someone get checked and survive. [Please donate here and show what 25 million people can do together]( If you or someone you love has faced CRC, share your story in the comments. You never know who you might help.
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Colonoscopy set for this Monday. I am a 49 yo woman. Any helpful advice for prep is appreciated. I’ve heard this is the “worst” part of the experience. Also have heard that the FIT kits are about 50% accurate. So get a colonoscopy.
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YTA to yourself and the public. She’s not a safe driver and doesn’t even have the sense of responsibility to pay for her own liability insurance. She can take the bus until she matures.
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Yeah unfortunately the massive safety, accountability, and responsibility issues hugely outweigh the piddly issue OP has come here to ask about. This young driver needs to return to driver's ed and needs fiercer consequences associated with her bad driving. OP is focused on entirely the wrong thing. OP should not be helping her daughter get back onto the road when she's this much of a menace.
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AITA for not giving the full amount of insurance money to my daughter for her car? I (46F) gave my daughter (19F) a car for her 18th birthday. For her to stay on my car insurance plan, it was cheaper if her car stayed in my name. She made the decision and I agreed. She paid me the amount it cost per month to have her on my plan which is less than it would be for her to pay for her car and herself on my plan, at liability only. Sometimes she missed payments, she struggled some, but paid most. I was never concerned about her payments and never asked her for money, just wanting to give her some help at the beginning of her adult life, she seemed to be very concerned with paying me even when I told her not to worry about it. What I was concerned about is how she drives. She ended up with 4 speeding tickets in 3 states as far as I know that I found out after the fact plus she blew the engine racing my favorite car that I let her drive because she liked it better than the car I gave her. She won't admit fault on that and says it's because that model engine is bad which is also true, but that car is not made for driving that way and I was left with a broken car. So instead of only having the liability insurance on her car, I decided to put full coverage because it is in my name and I wanted protection. Her insurance cost did not increase, I paid the difference but when I tried to talk to her about these things so she could understand and learn she would shut me down, saying she was busy or didn't care. Well, she rear ended another car in the rain and her car was totaled (not much damage to either vehicle though, no injuries). If she only had the liability insurance there would have been no reimbursement at all, but since I had full coverage on her car there was a payout. I told her the good news and explained that she had a choice to make - She could have the exact amount of the money the insurance wants for the pay back of the vehicle. -or- She could have the vehicle in its current condition to fix herself. She chose the money, I gave her the money and then she told me that I stole money from her because I didn't give her the full amount of the insurance money, but the car was her birthday present, not my insurance. Am I the AH for not giving her the entire amount? * Edited to add that she is an adult and is not living in my home all the time (her address was home though and she came home on weekends). I didn't find out about the tickets until later but I found out that she was speeding/racing when she blew up my car. I did keep her on my insurance and give her a second chance as she said she was being safe and driving better, which she wasn't but I didn't know that. When she rear ended someone and shortly after I found out about the ticket, the first thing I did was take her off my insurance. Some replies sound confused - the money that I gave her was the buy back insurance money for her car but I didn't give her the entire full coverage amount, only the amount of the car to purchase it back from the insurance after a car is totaled. She was only paying for liability insurance and the car was a gift. She is an adult and I only knew so much. Let's be fair. ** Another Edit - I didn't expect some of these responses. Not spoiled at all (went without so much and watched other family be spoiled while she got nothing, like not allowed to eat the fruit that was served sort if stuff), severely abused in the co-parenting house and acting out of trauma (sometimes that can look like entitlement). I took her to therapy as a minor. I didn't know about the ticket until after she totaled her car, I took her off my insurance immediately. Not sure there is more I could have done, just on here trying to ask if I should have given her all the insurance money or not...or perhaps none of the money but the buy back amount wasn't really enough to buy another car, except maybe a beater that she certainly wouldn't be able to race or act wild in. *** Edit - her totaled car didn't have much damage (neither did the other car) and no injuries. The car I gave her was a Honda CRV all wheel drive with high miles that isn't really able to be "raced". The rear end accident happened in the rain and she slid into the other car. Not making excuses, just trying to make this more clear based on what people are assuming and commenting. Timeline - I gave her the CRV for her birthday, she liked driving my car to work because she has a good job and it's nicer and I like the CRV for my rural roads, engine blew and she took my car to the mechanic who said these cars have a notorious engine problem so she blamed it on that but she admitted to racing a friend of hers, she started driving her own car which can't be driven hard and she promises to drive good, I give her a second chance, she gets a speeding ticket and rear ends another car totaling the CRV (but not much damage) at pretty much the same time and I immediately remove her from my insurance. I followed my agents advice from the beginning, her address was our house and she was here on weekends, stayed with friends while working in the city. Other tickets accumulated between 3 states. I'm not sure I'm completely accurate on exactly what tickets she got and when, I've been trying to figure some things out including a letter that came from our state. I haven't been meaning to make excuses, just trying to explain and answer comments so people can make judgments with accurate knowledge not assumptions.
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YTA - You raised an asshole and you continue to enable her. Thanks mom, for unleashing something like this on society for the rest of us to deal with. She shouldn't have gotten any of the money? She only paid for liability insurance. She is out a car and that's a bummer for her. Maybe she'll learn the lesson you refuse to teach.
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in Data Studio
Dataset Card: sbussiso/AmItheAsshole-reddit-9-29-2025
Dataset Summary
30 posts from r/AmItheAsshole transformed into a chatml dataset format with contextual responses
Usage
from datasets import load_dataset
ds = load_dataset("sbussiso/AmItheAsshole-reddit-9-29-2025")
print(ds)
Ethical Considerations and Warnings
- Content may include offensive or unsafe material depending on source. Use responsibly.
Licensing
MIT.
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