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Five explorative writing exercises that may surprise you about yourself
E.L. Doctorow once said: "Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing, and learn as you go."
As my daily writing experiments have shown, he is right. Writing can reveal a lot about the world and ourselves.
The sheer act of writing unlocks that which is deep within the dusty libraries of my mind.
Until recently, I treated writing as a practical means of getting ideas on paper. It was a stunted, tedious process.
Now I view it as an essential and energising explorative tool.
Writing for stretches can activate surprising explosions of data, emotion, and visions, which previously had been in cryosleep.
I have also learned deeper self-awareness and figured out what brings me to life.
No longer do I need to second-guess myself.
My writing has revealed what matters to me.
There also seems to be a correlation between the duration of free-flowing writing and the unearthing of ever more complex and authentic ideas.
The deeper I dig, and the less hard I try, the more truths I find.
Journaling is one thing, but writing on a specific concept for the purpose of discovery can prove fascinating.
The beauty of the following exercises is not only in the ideas you come up with but in what you learn you are capable of; what you learn about yourself that is crying out to be found.
It is confidence-building, and it will take you to higher frequencies.
Spend at least 15 minutes writing or speaking on each of these topics.
Have a deadline. You want to write with a relaxed, directed urgency, rather than a slow aimless meandering.
Free flow and see what comes up.
You might be surprised at what you find.
1. Dreams and Motivations
"Everything you can imagine is real." ~Picasso
Write about things you want to happen in your life. What is most important to you?
What do you value the most?
You can get material here too. What does your dream house or environment look like and where is it; what kind of work do you want to be doing every day; with whom are you sharing those moments?
How far do you want to go with your career or craft?
What audacious successes would be exciting to aim for?
If you had to choose one craft you could develop mastery in every day, what would it be?
Experiment with ideas that might seem far-fetched. See how they make you feel. There are no limits.
What are the simple things in life you aren't enjoying enough?
The point with this is to remind you that you had dreams in the first place - to help you realise that perhaps you have allowed them to diminish; to show you what matters.
2. Problems and Solutions
"I believe that if you show people the problems and you show them the solutions they will be moved to act." ~Bill Gates
It's time to embrace the suck.
Write all the solutions to your toughest challenge/s that you can think of.
The new clarity will motivate you to take action.
You will be amazed at what you find when you go fast, not stopping to think; only moving to write.
3. Fictional Worlds/Characters
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand." ~ Einstein
We're getting a little more imaginative here.
Write about a fictional world, city, town, or character in detail. What does it look, sound, smell and feel like?
What drives your character? What do they care for the most? What are they thinking?
Surprise yourself with the depth of your insight.
4. Wins and Thankfulness
In our pursuit of perfectionism, it's easy to gloss over our successes, and focus on our weaknesses; our lacks.
It can also feel like a waste of time to think about what we're thankful for. But, when I remember to do it, this has been great for my wellbeing.
Being aware of what we do have, where we have been already successful, even the small things, feels good.
Write about all your wins in life. Write about everything for which to be grateful.
The little tiny gains to the more prominent successes.
This is a space only for positive ideas.
Do this for a while and feel your confidence grow; your frequency climb.
See how you walk a little taller after you've done this.
Could this be something you do more than once in the future?
5. Invent
Come up with ideas for a new product, book or invention. Combine two ideas to make something unique.
Ask 'what if' questions.
"The power to question is the basis for all human progress." ~Indira Gandhi
Make two ideas have sex with each other and see what happens, as suggested by James Altucher, an Idea-Breeder at the top of his game.
Think of a problem that interests you that needs solving.
Think about products that you could potentially make with access to the right resources.
It can be a fun hypothetical idea, or perhaps a real invention no one has ever thought of.
Be a whacky scientist, visionary dreamer, or a logical pragmatist.
See what the words bring up.
🔆
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How to make it easier to do the things you don't feel like doing
You don't want to start.
Your heart goes faster.
You and your thoughts move quicker. You start to pace.
You're in a mild panic.
Because you panic, you want to take on many things at once.
You look at the beginning, and you look at the end, and you try to start in the middle too.
You also try and do that other thing with your free right foot.
I've told people to move fast before.
I've said to view yourself as a creative maniac, and rather than slow down, to ten times your productivity.
True.
But not until after you've created momentum.
And if things are hard, and you're panicking, and things seem bleak, dark, dull and impossible...
Slow down.
You only have one thing to do right now.
That is to figure out a way to make things easy.
And fun.
The greats appear to do things that are hard all the time.
But, in truth, they know how to make things easier, even if it starts out feeling tough.
Making things easy and fun, combined with the habit of acting, is why they are great.
Look at Conor McGregor when he's entering the ring during what one would think is the most terrifying thing. He has fun, even if he has to force it a little - it becomes fun - and this benefits his fighting style.
When things are fun, you enjoy what you're doing, and this is reflected in your results.
So how to make what you're doing fun?
Writing an essay?
What's a fun way to start?
When I'm panicking with my writing, and I have an article to do when I don't feel like doing it, I take a step back for a moment.
I let my body relax.
And I see past the complex web of what's in front of me. I understand how I can turn this into a fun adventure.
This starts with merely choosing to have fun. Nothing more than that.
I decide to have fun.
I write childishly and play with dreams, ideas and feelings on a page. Or maybe I write a list as long as I can make it. In crayon, on paper.
I allow my volcanic insides to erupt with feeling after I've unplugged the caldera through writing playfully.
I make it a game. I see how many ideas I can come up with to start, within ten minutes.
Then I choose my favourite idea, and I see how I can deliver that idea in an article in the smallest, shortest way.
I come up with a short, simple premise; then a five-line overview.
I'm focused on what is easy, and what is fun. Either or, or both.
Then I see how I can add depth to the idea by bringing in a story or an image for the reader that is interesting.
Then I expand the overview into something a little bigger.
Then I refine it, and I enjoy the refinement like a watch-maker enjoys tweaking the tiny pieces.
Whatever you face that is challenging for you, you can make it easier. Anyone can make something easier.
If you're panicking about something:
An event you're nervous about,
cleaning the house,
doing a live call,
going on stage...
How can it be made easier?
How can the way you think about it be made easier?
And how can that be made easier still? It can. It always can.
Maybe, the fact that there is little more you can do, but ACT comes clear to you. Your fear will fade.
The fool tries to make something harder.
Follow the easiest avenue. Sometimes you need to act even if you still don't want to.
Moving a step is not hard.
Then you just add the layers or allow the process to unfold itself.
And to the outsider, what you did looked hard.
But secretly, you enjoyed every step.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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It's not more information you need, but you do need to act
I love to read and absorb new information.
We get a dopamine hit when we learn something novel.
It's like our body rewarding us for taking on a new perspective that can serve us in our need to survive and thrive.
And so we're rewarded by taking in information.
This does come with a price, however.
There comes a point when the amount of information you take in begins to undercut your potential to turn that knowledge into impact.
You can't inspire more people in the real world if you're busy reading about life.
You can't reach a thousand hungry young students if you're tucked away at home learning 'one last module.'
So this requires self-awareness and a sense of balance.
We do need to consume, and I encourage it often (the good kind). This fuels our output and keeps us inspired.
But many of us use learning as an excuse to avoid action.
Because action can be frightening.
And fear can paralyse.
So this is what we need to do:
We need to be REAL with ourselves.
This means knowing when you're hiding versus learning and sharpening your skills.
This is why self-awareness combined with a healthy dose of animal instinct is so underrated and powerful.
Don't kid yourself.
You know, when you get your head out of the busyness for a moment - you KNOW when you're avoiding what needs to be done.
Identify what needs to be done. Often, it can make us uncomfortable and nervous.
But these are things you need to do more than anything.
Information is powerful, but only through action can your genius be realised.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Eight ways to stop being so uptight so you enjoy life far more
Hey Malcolm, buddy, 'stop taking life so seriously!'
Malcolm winced as he stared into his coffee.
He knew Daphne had a point.
He had to pinch himself because he'd forgotten again.
He'd been taking life seriously all week and had been walking around town like there was something firmly lodged up his backside.
He'd struggled to be productive at work, and now he was falling behind.
I agree with Daphne.
Being uptight reduces your effectiveness. It makes life miserable.
Here are some ways to loosen up:
Use struggle.
Didn't you get the memo? Yup. It's true.
Fussing and fighting aren't the only ways to deal with life's struggles.
There's an option B.
This is the door most of us keep firmly shut. Option B asks: How can I use this struggle?
Now you're in creativity territory - the realm of the wise and the god-like. Stop believing the hype that a little pain is all bad.
When you use struggle to improve your life, how can you fail?
Write out all your peeves.
Getting all those concerns out of your swirling mind is cathartic.
It separates you from your doubts.
We get overwhelmed when we fail to see the separation between our worries and ourselves.
We take things personally.
The way out is to express it.
Write it all down. Something will shift in you.
You will begin to see and think logically again.
Find the humour.
Become a world-class true detective...with you as the subject.
Become great at observing when you're taking things seriously.
Your little brow is all furrowed. Life is too short for this.
Yes, shit happens. Tragedies happen.
But here's the real, true deal: you are 100X less effective when you're gripped by seriousness.
OH NO WILDFIRES AND SHIT. SOME DUDE DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. POLLY THE PARAKEET CHOKED ON A CRACKER.
We get it - it's bad.
But if you let it influence your joy, you lose.
Woke news won. Find the humour in things where it's appropriate.
Not all that much is as TERRIBLE DOO DOO as you make it.
For God's sake, chill.
Work through your shame.
Many of us carry shame like an overloaded backpack on life's long hike.
It makes us uptight and weird.
That thing we did in our youth still informs our current behaviours.
That's some grade A silly. How to 'work through your shame?'
You question your beliefs.
Find the thing you think you believe about yourself that you deep down know is bullshit.
Like, 'I'm just not a very funny person.' Question it.
Find four examples of things that disprove it.
Shame will diminish when your beliefs change.
Exercise daily.
I know. This one seems so obvious, but it makes all the difference.
When we sit about on our fat arses all day, we can't be surprised if we feel frustrated.
This isn't something you do once and then forget.
This is for life. Daily exercise stills the mind and lifts the spirits.
We're the same humans essentially that roamed the Earth 150,000 years ago. They weren't cooped up.
We were born to move and walk, so move.
Transcend personality.
Newsflash: Personality isn't real.
We're multifaceted beings. We have many personalities if anything.
The only reason it might seem like you have one stubborn personality is that you're trapped by your thoughts.
You can be funny. You know this. You can be loud and crazy. You know this. You can be diligent and calm. You sure as SHIT know this too.
So stop Harry Houdini-ing yourself into one personality.
You're free.
The way out? Doing things. Action will inform your identity.
And you can do whatever the heck you want.
Create maniacally.
If you feel stuck, it's often your inner dragon's attempt to tell you it's time to stir life into that soulless corpse of yours.
You can do this through creative expression. The emphasis here is on movement and no holding back.
When we fear mistake-making, that's when the game's up.
You must create an environment that rewards stepping into uncertainty.
Paint more. Write more.
Focus on disgusting amounts of stuff.
Literally relax.
When Graham, the beefy dude at the beach says, 'Just relax, man - take it easy dood,' he's talking pure sense.
It's underrated.
You have the power to destress when you physically relax.
Slow your breathing. Talk slower. Let go a little.
Your thoughts will then follow.
Now you're thinking clearly.
. . .
I hope this helped.
Much love,
Alex
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
|
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The topsy-turvy approach to figuring out your next life phase
I had a guy approach me recently with a dilemma.
He felt stuck and didn't know how to best spend his thirties and beyond.
He needed a change from his job.
He was feeling burned out and quite fed up.
So I suggested something that worked for me:
Start making and publishing content.
He looked at me blankly.
'But I don't know how I can be valuable. I still need to figure that out.'
I said, 'Listen buddy, people think of content in the wrong way. They think they must have it all figured out before sharing stuff online. You don't.'
Looking back over fifteen years of creating online content, I had no idea what I was doing most of the time.
I just kept creating and sharing stuff.
I wrote about what I was learning.
I wrote about what was bothering me.
I made videos about recent books I'd read.
I made podcasts about living in a new city.
The more I created, the more creative I became and the more opportunities I attracted.
And that there, my friend, is the GOLD.
When we become more creative, it's like a light bulb switches on.
And it's sad so many miss this.
Your creative mind and the feedback you get through regular sharing give you the answers.
You don't need a guy like me to tell you what's best for you.
Create first, then let the market and how people respond show you what to continue doing.
You just need the faith that continual creation will give you the data you want.
Don't wait before you have the perfect plan. Start now, no matter your line of work.
Because the planning is in the process.
Create content and see what sticks.
You'll have your answer sooner than you think.
My Online Writing Alchemy course takes this process to another level. It shows you how to make your writing resonate with your readers fast.
Couple this with regular posting, and you have a powerful combo that will show you the way while building your online presence.
Alex
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Human coaching is the future
could this be your next phase?
I don't know if you've noticed, but the world is changing rather quickly.
People are worried about the future.
Little seems safe and secure.
A job seems risky.
And the reality is that AI will replace many.
But this presents a massive opportunity.
And that opportunity is passing on your knowledge, mentorship and human leadership.
Coaching, teaching, writing, running workshops.
I see all of this as:
'Facilitating transformation for others.'
Much of this work can be location-independent, which gives you options.
I've been coaching people around the world via zoom calls, writing, and online workshops for over a decade.
This preserves my flexibility and freedom. And it's fun.
You can coach people regardless of your age or background.
You don't even need coaching qualifications (I don't).
All you need are two things:
To be a step or two ahead of those who need help.
An awareness of these people's problems.
When I first started one-to-one coaching ten years ago, I was so nervous on calls my vision went blurry.
But it didn't take long for me to settle into it.
I focused on how to solve their problems, even if I wasn't an expert.
I focused on how to make other people's lives easier.
I focused on service.
And you can do it too.
Today, I charge $600 or more for an hour of my time.
I can do this remotely in the comfort of my home.
And you can coach via courses, books, articles and videos too.
And, in the age of AI, the human touch like this is desired more than ever.
Thousands out there are in need of your unique hybrid of experiences, secret talents, personality and skills.
People are hungry to learn from other humans who have made mistakes. (Could that be you?)
Focus on serving the right people, and you will have a way to make money doing what you love.
Writing consistently (like a human, not an AI) brought me a readership of over 200,000 in the last few years. It's brought me opportunities and clients I can work with all over the world.
If you want to avoid years of putting out dull writing that won't resonate with your ideal tribe and potential clients, you'll want the Online Writing Alchemy course.
Learn more here.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Eight money-making shortcuts that actually work
They say there are no shortcuts in life.
Well, this depends on the knowledge you have and the perspective you take.
Here are some examples of money-making shortcuts that DO work:
Learn one money-making system.
People struggle to make much money because they have a system that complicates the process.
Namely, they try to take on too much at once when in reality, most money-creation techniques are straightforward.
When we take the courage to choose one model we can focus on for, say, the next six months, we will find it far easier to see what needs to be done and to take the necessary steps.
Be mentored.
There are few 'shortcuts' that are more direct than having the opportunity to talk to - and be guided by - people who have already done what you want to achieve.
You can save months and years of directionless mistake-making by hearing it from someone who's been through it all.
Many people are willing to answer questions and give up more extended periods to help. You just need to ask enough people.
And if direct guidance isn't possible right now, you can read their books and study their courses.
Let go of the idea that money is bad.
Psychological conflict is a significant block that stops many of us from acquiring the money we want.
We grow up accumulating unhelpful beliefs about money and wealth that associate it with unfairness, manipulation or even evil.
But this only depends on the context.
This has nothing to do with money, which is simply a tool.
Understanding that money is essentially a token of appreciation for your good work, you can detach yourself from the sabotaging thought that getting money is in some way 'bad.'
Pay to play.
You needn't spend money to make money, as the adage goes.
But so many people limit themselves by getting overly precious about investing money to allow them to reach higher levels of income.
One such way is paying to join groups, cohorts, coaching circles, masterminds and so on.
This gives you access not only to the specific knowledge you need to make money but, more importantly, to the people who can help you and open up new connections and referrals from which your money-making system stands to benefit the most.
Put more reps into less.
If we're spreading ourselves across a range of money-making schemes, we'll afford less time and attention put towards any one thing.
This is simple physics. Money needs your attention more than anything else, especially in the early stages of what you're building.
Making money requires you to show up repeatedly, to bring thought and repeated actions to bring about results.
So by focusing on less and bringing more daily action to that thing, you can gain a tremendous advantage.
This is how to grow a money tree that doesn't die.
Copy someone else's formula.
Many people have obviously succeeded in making a lot of money.
And many of those within this ensemble have put time into systematically demonstrating and teaching the world how they did it.
Invest time into learning other people's models rather than inventing your own process from scratch.
The Internet has brought with it untold resources in this way.
Your main challenge becomes filtering through these options and maintaining focus without getting diverted.
Stay broke.
This is something I learned from real estate mogul Grant Cardone.
Most people have yet to learn how to manage their money.
Because of this, they drain most of it before it has the opportunity to accrue into real wealth.
To avoid running on a hamster wheel of 'just enough,' the trick is to collect the money you earn and put it somewhere you can't access it.
This way, you stay broke because you develop the discipline to say no to expenses you don't need to spend.
You become rich more efficiently because that money accumulates fast, free of interference.
Focus on problems, not passions.
It's easy to follow the oft-repeated mantra of doing what you love.
It absolutely will help you to find a way to enjoy what you're doing.
The problem lies, however, with people getting overly romantic about the type of work they dedicate their time to at the expense of making much money. Not every income source was created equally.
If making money is your priority, focus on where you can viably solve real-world problems instead of focusing on your passions.
This simple shift in mindset gets you back into the world of earning because people pay money to solve problems and nothing else.
This needn't mean doing something you hate. Just don't expect it to continually revolve around your passions.
As you make money and develop mastery in that thing, you will likely build a passion for that thing anyway.
🔆
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No, you don't need to have gone through hardship to be happy
I see people talking about how the kindest, friendliest, happiest people are often those who went through loads of misery.
'They've seen things.'
'Only those who've been to the dark side can truly know life.'
People say that what we've 'been through' will directly influence who we are today.
I do believe, however, that this is simply a load of rubbish.
Absolutely - many genuine, lovely people went through many struggles in their lives.
And it's beautiful to see.
(Note: find me one person who hasn't gone through some kind of significant 'trauma' or hardship by the time they're 20. I'll wait).
But to suggest that you must have gone through hell to be happy or in some way more genuine is - frankly - bollocks.
The exact same thing applies to the equally popular concept that if we go through a complicated past, we're in some way bound to these experiences, and they will forever tarnish or colour our present experience and enjoyment.
Uh, no.
Stop the nonsense. It's decreasing your intelligence and limiting you.
A huge misconception I see people falling for again and again and again is the idea that our past experiences must define our current behaviours and states of mind.
This is false.
They do not.
And the degree to which we believe this is true reflects how easily limited we are by false thinking.
Stop falling for lies.
How miserable or happy you are right now has nothing to do with what happened.
And, yes, I get it. It can often seem that way.
But there is no connection except the one we create in the mind.
It does, however, have a lot to do with how you CHOOSE to respond to what happened. Or whether you choose to respond at all.
In fact, if you stop obsessing about your freaking past for five minutes, no matter how difficult it was, you may have a fleeting moment of peace.
Yes, this is really possible.
How?
Because peace is our default state.
Such a state is realised when we stop thinking we're not OK.
We really can enjoy our lives and feel good, and be resilient and be cheerful and light-hearted and see the good in things and others.
Regardless of what shit happened to you.
Life can be great.
It all depends on whether you want it to be, out of choice.
It's a habit.
The less we entertain thoughts that we've been stunted by others or other events, the more this muscle is exercised and the more at peace we will feel.
We could have been through absolute misery and come out happy and wise.
OR:
We could have had a relatively painless, enjoyable childhood and come out happy and wise too.
And you know both can make sense.
We've all met people who operate on both sides of such a spectrum.
We don't even need to see how it works with other people to understand the inherent truth in this.
We can observe it in ourselves.
You'll know from personal experience that when you entertain thoughts of the difficult moments in your past, you will tend to feel bad.
Maybe your teacher said something mean to you, and you think of that memory just before you get on stage to give that talk. You feel the pain of that memory, close up, and deliver a poor speech.
You feel your thoughts.
That's how it is.
But if you aren't holding on to grim thoughts, you will not feel grim.
That's how it works.
So, why is all this important?
Because understanding this points directly to our ability to live a vibrant life, regardless of the shit we went through.
And regardless of who we think we are.
We're only as miserable to the degree we think we are miserable.
So you may as well choose happy.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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Signs you're on the path of greatness...
You've committed to a mission, project or cause with no Plan B. Failure is not an option.
Your mission is one that would be deemed 'absurd' or 'unreasonable' by even those closest to you. And you smile to yourself because this is precisely why you chose it.
Your decision to take up such a challenge - one that requires continual re-commitment - has you humming with energy. It also reinforces the profound sense that you are totally alone.
You go through the day in a near surreal daze, continually shaking off thoughts of doubt that try to sabotage and trick you into submission. But yet you hold fast.
You find your immunity to such distraction becoming stronger with every decision to remain on path.
It's no longer about the 'goal,' but about what kind of person you are embodying today - right now - as an expression of this fearless commitment.
There is a transcendent, mystical and warrior-like quality to the person you've chosen to become.
You're so deep in this that you even brush your teeth with a newly acquired sense of pride.
You find yourself walking a little taller. You take up more space where you sit. Where you once avoided another's gaze - you now hold it without a flinch.
You've stopped telling anyone about the plan, choosing instead to prioritise conscientious daily action over talk.
People are asking where you went.
You have restructured your habits to reflect this identity - and it takes little thought or coaxing to be and do what it takes.
Why question or resist the disciplines required in service to a mission far greater than yourself?
The naysayers and openly critical are emerging from their dark corners. They see you mean business, and they sense an attack on their perceived inferior sense of self. They want you down there with them, even though the choice was there to be inspired.
Your supporters are also gathering in droves, and the queue is forming around the block.
Many send you heartfelt words of encouragement, and others ask interested questions.
You are riding a near continual wave of adrenalin from the wins and little successes that accumulate.
This provides much-needed fuel to feed into the relentlessness of your daily action-taking.
You might find long swathes of the day disappear behind the fluidity of your flow and deep engagement in the work. You forget to eat occasionally, and your sleep may sometimes be interrupted.
Your intense commitment to the mission has reversed your prior tendency toward self-consciousness.
You experience a more profound sense of connection with those around you. You can't help smiling at little things in others that previously were of little interest.
Love for your fellow man is flourishing.
This is what it means to be on the path of greatness.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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Five quick changes that make discipline 5X easier
Back in caveman days, being disciplined was so easy that discipline wasn't even a thing.
With a continual threat of death and starvation, there were genuine and visceral reasons for doing things with urgency, even if you didn't want to do them.
Now, most things are seemingly less urgent.
Without pressing, visible and tangible requirements for us to act in our comfortable, modern world, being disciplined is, well, bloody hard.
Setting goals. Being consistent with our work every day. Eating healthy. Getting out of bed early.
That kind of thing.
The biggest reason is that the benefits of these things are rarely immediately visible.
The benefit of getting out of the way of a rampaging gorilla in the jungle is immediately evident.
We know our life is at stake, and so we do what we need to do.
The discipline is there.
It is straight-forward.
In staying healthy, the immediate benefit of choosing not to eat that cupcake is pretty invisible.
To live a good life today requires discipline for doing things that are good for us - for things that move us towards our full potential.
And most of those things don't feel urgent. All of it seems - at first glance - equally non-essential.
Here's the thing:
It's not more discipline you need. Instead, you need to make discipline come easy.
Like our caveman friends, you want less of a need to be disciplined in the first place.
"The surest test of discipline is its absence." ~Clara Barton
We have the power and the strategies to make discipline effortless.
We have enough discipline.
We have plenty of discipline for watching Netflix when we're bored, gaming or eating doughnuts. That requires discipline, but it's effortless.
We need to apply 'effortless discipline' to those things that will make our lives amazing.
We need to make it as easy as it was to run as fast as we could when being chased by a tiger.
How?
1. Take away the friction in your environment.
Most of discipline is about optimising your environment:
The people you hang around with.
Your mental blocks, fears and doubts.
Your physical environment.
They can all hold us back, and they can all be improved. List out how you might do this for each one.
Easier said than done yes, but it can be insane when you think about all the things that are present in our lives that stop us from getting what we want.
What do you want, and what needs to go?
An example would be if you were trying to lose weight. If you're surrounded by chubby friends, cookies and ice-cream in your home, having the discipline to eat fewer sugary treats would be much, much harder.
By getting rid of junk and dealing with those relationships (sorry Cindy), you are optimising your environment - and you are making discipline easier.
Make sense?
2. Set yourself juicier, bigger goals
A lot of us either have no goals, or we don't make them big and exciting enough. Big goals are more interesting.
They motivate us to want to pursue them. Go for your dreams. Go for big goals. Think big and draw up a vision of what you want.
Check in with those goals every day and make an action plan that leads to daily action towards those goals.
This makes discipline easier.
3. Be clear on why you must have what you want
Come up with a list of all the reasons why those above goals are worth pursuing, including why you can't afford to continue the way you are going.
This takes goal-setting a step further.
Having clarity on why you want will take your motivation to be disciplined to the next level.
4. Be clear on the small steps you need to take
Most of us find discipline for the things that matter exceptionally hard. One of the main reasons for this is having a lack of clarity on what to do.
We procrastinate because we just aren't clear on the steps we need to take, from the year, down to six months, to thirty days, right down to each day.
A lot of people, including myself, get excited about the idea of something they'd like to achieve but fail to create a plan to work themselves towards that thing, step by step.
They want to get straight to the juicy stuff.
We give ourselves too big of a chunk to chew, with no smaller steps in between, and we inevitably fail and wonder why.
The secret here is to work your way up to things. Identify the next small step, and take that step.
If, for example, you want to build a coaching business that earns $150,000 per year with each client paying $2000 per month. You would first need to get a handle on your niche, and the process you would need to take prospects through to buy a session. Then you'd set the challenge of landing a sale of $750 per month. And then $1000, and then $1500 per client, and so on.
Each time, the challenge is incrementally more of a stretch, but not so much of a stretch that you are incapable of dealing with it.
Shortcuts don't work.
Small steps make discipline easier.
Build yourself up to things, and almost anything is possible.
Having someone guide you or hold you accountable can take this even further. Investing in a coach could be huge for you like it has been for me.
5. Build successful habits
Habits are things you do all the time without thinking about them. Your brain is wired to do them automatically.
Habits can be good for you, or bad for you.
Most people who appear incredibly disciplined just likely have better habits. Many famous writers, for example, have the habit of writing a certain number of words every day. They have built that habit muscle over time.
First, they take action, and then their brains adapt to the repeated action until it becomes easier to do.
Your job is to build small habits that help you get to where you want to go. The hardest part about building habits is the first month or two.
To really cement a new habit, whether it's eating better or exercising, or creating online content, you would do it for sixty days in a row or more.
Once you've internalised that action, you're flying, and suddenly discipline won't even be a thing.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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Nine unique habits that will motivate you more than 95% of people
For most of my life, I believed motivation was a personality trait possessed by the lucky few.
I was wrong.
It turns out we cultivate unstoppable motivation through our behaviours.
In other words, we can choose to be motivated.
I learned after years of procrastination that when I took on motivated habits, I realised more energy than I knew I had.
Though I don't always feel motivated, these habits keep me feeling motivated more of the time:
1. Daily ideation.
I never knew that feeling like a creative machine was a thing, until I started writing brainstorm lists as a daily habit.
The brain responds to our repeated behaviours. In other words, we become more and more creative the more we use our creative muscle.
When we regularly create new ideas and solutions, we feel more motivated.
Why?
Because to create with intensity is to answer the call of what it means to be human.
2. Commit to elite physical health.
'Taking care of yourself' is boring.
Commit, instead, to developing and nurturing the most optimised physique and health you can, given what you're able to work with.
There's nothing more energising than to be on the path of not only tending to your health (yawn), but rather - to master health.
Lift heavy weights with a conscious view to sculpting an outstanding body.
Find mentors who understand how to optimise the body and diet. Eat the best quality primal food.
Walk for hours every day.
Mastery is fun and energising.
3. Finish things.
Starting things is one thing, but how many of us get excited about starting something new, and then leave it unfinished?
We chase that next shiny thing. This is a serious issue in the Internet world, and one to which I can relate. Every time we don't finish, we're voting against ourselves.
Results come to those who repeatedly assert themselves to completion.
When we act boldly, with a strong intention to follow through with what we start, we become that energy.
Finish what you start, build a picture of yourself as a 'finisher,' and you will feel unstoppable.
4. Avoid artificial dopamine sources.
I get it: porn, video-games, social media, energy-drinks, movies - they're fun, addictive, and extremely pleasurable forms of escape.
The problem?
These things (porn most of all) cause high dopamine spikes and literally fry your dopamine receptors.
This means you become increasingly numb to 'normal' forms of stimulus.
Things which previously motivated you, like making art, being out in nature, and enjoying sex with a real human, now bring you less of a buzz.
Cutting back on these things will give you a renewed drive, and an advantage over most everyone else.
5. Prioritise doing difficult things.
Be careful with this cutesy advice: 'focus on what makes you happy!'
This is a surefire way to live an unhappy and mediocre life (you won't grow).
Do this instead: focus on things that interest you and bring you enjoyment. But then, within this avenue - whether it's writing, or coaching, or design - ensure you regularly do things that make you nervous. Your fears are pointing you to opportunities, and fear rarely feels enjoyable.
Hard things, coupled with stuff that interests you: that's the sweet spot.
6. Stop being focused.
Wait, what? Yes, I said it.
I realised over the years that when I pressured myself into being more focused, I lost motivation, and - ironically - I became less focused.
When we put stress on ourselves to be or do anything, our performance drops. We tighten up. Motivation is born out of a looseness in body and mind.
We can't be loose if we're trying too hard to be 'focused.'
Sure, set goals and targets, but allow them to breathe and evolve.
Let go to enjoying the process without being attached to the outcome.
7. Master body scanning.
Want to know why we procrastinate and feel resistance to taking action? We limit ourselves in the mind.
When we tell ourselves 'I can't,' we literally feel that thought physically.
We feel it as laziness or tiredness, or a stuck feeling in our chests. The solution? Become present to the feeling.
Observe it closely. Maintaining awareness on the feeling will dissolve it (and the thought) in real time. This is a great practice to apply to any resistance you feel through the day.
Sit with it and watch it float away.
In the absence of physical 'stuckness,' wisdom and enjoyment will appear.
8. Be remarkable to those who matter.
Many of us struggle because we underwhelm ourselves in our actions and creations.
We operate at 80%. We're doing 'just enough,' before ducking out and heading to the pub with our mates.
The unstoppable have one mission underlying everything they do: make it remarkable.
Be surprising and unexpected in all you do.
This needn't be reserved for everyone (common courtesy is obviously vital) - but focus on bringing remarkable value to those who you want to include in your vision for success.
Vital energy will be gifted to those who aim to deliver at higher levels.
9. Stop trying to 'fix' yourself.
While everyone else is transfixed on 'self-love' and 'healing,' you're different.
You have learned to let go of the need to change yourself.
Why would you need to put effort into 'self-love' if you love yourself by default?
No. You are dedicated to action and success, as you see it. Stop trying to fix yourself. You're already whole. Your life is already a damn miracle.
Stop. Healing is an excuse.
The most loving thing you can do for yourself is get out of bed in the morning and attack the day.
This is how to instil an unstoppable energy.
Do this and the world will watch you in awe.
🔆
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15 short paragraphs that will give you an unfair advantage as an online writer
I was told today that I'm number three out of the top writers on Medium for self-improvement.
Out of a pool of tens of thousands of writers, that's pretty neat, and it motivates me to write more.
Follower numbers aren't everything, but the number reflects what's possible when you work your way through the ranks with awareness.
Here's what I learned that will set you apart:
You can't get far if you cannot master the art of turning a dull writing session into a symphony of colour, energy, emotion and story.
On the other hand, you'll struggle if you have such high expectations for your writing that you never start at all.
The most visible online writers tend to be those who, for whatever reason, choose the unreasonable path. This path would strike fear in the hearts of most normie writers who want to do the least to get the most.
It's better to put something out that's 80% than to put nothing out at all.
One of the best sources for powerful content is talking to people and getting into the hearts and minds of humans directly from the source. What are their pain points? Most importantly, what are yours? Use all of it and help them with solutions.
You don't need a perfect website, logo, or brand before you share plenty of articles; you figure out the former by writing a lot.
Good writers write when they feel like it. Great writers write regardless of how they feel at the start.
You needn't be some modern globe-trotting Indiana Jones to have good material to write about. Fascinating stories are lurking in your local supermarket, park, bus route, and storage cupboard.
You must be willing to publish something when it feels like you've already published enough. Be uncommonly prolific. It's still a drop in the ocean on the Internet.
If you want to succeed on a particular platform, you need to spend time reading what others write and examine what others are doing that is working. Do more of what works for that platform in its current season, as the season changes frequently.
You must move past the idea that manipulative writing is bad. You are a manipulator of emotions, whether you like it or not. It's down to you whether this is misused or not, as it can be. You must learn how to use words to persuade, entice, and encourage.
If you don't see your work as a craft to master to the point of obsession, you will not enter the top 1% of online writers.
Start getting good at using metaphors. People love it when you give them the chance to draw a picture of what you mean in their own minds (just like I did) without telling them straight what you mean. Metaphors are a skillful way to do this and are one of the most attractive tools in writing.
The most explosive pieces you can write emanate from a sense of connection to all things. You must find genuine love for your fellow human, with a real will to help.
You don't need to be the best writer to be one of the best writers. You just need to write consistently and with heart.
🔆
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How to be insanely creative without burning out
I beat myself up when I procrastinate.
Life is so damn short. For me, it's inexcusable to lose too much time to excuse-making.
But I know how important it is to produce things—not just one or two things, but many things—similar things—day after day after day.
It's not all about quality at first. Worry about quality later. It's about getting something down on paper today.
The Internet vividly reminds me that seemingly everyone is better, more talented, and more efficient than I am.
I know that to avoid slipping into the unknown, I need to keep making things and getting as many people as possible to see them often.
There is no alternative route to gaining attention in this mind-bending matrix of creative output.
I just have to make more. Even if it's just to keep me from getting angry with myself.
Whenever I produce and share lots of things in less time, the right things happen.
Opportunities come. Money is made. Like buttons are clicked.
It is what allowed me to gain traction as an illustrator when I was fresh-faced in the industry.
Good things happen when I write more. It happens when I draw more pictures.
Starship Pencil came across some Interstellar debris.
There are two important reasons for this.
The first is that I improve, and often very quickly. The second is that with more material created, I can finish, deliver and share more.
That's more people who see and can respond to better work.
So, how do we create more when procrastination's ugly face is staring right at us?
People often talk about the merits of writing in short sprints. These are timed exercises in which you type out whatever comes to mind without thinking about it too much.
You are writing fluidly, and you are writing in volume.
Doing this has led to accumulating hundreds of thousands of words on my computer.
A lot of it is admittedly rubbish. Random thoughts floated up and were stamped onto paper.
But more has been done, and often with little thought. My belief has grown as daily word counts tick happily upwards.
I now have more written fodder that can be cut down and refined into meaningful work.
More edited output at the ready means more material that can be shipped and published sooner.
And I am happy once again.
How can you apply the model of free-flowing writing sprints to your own work?
Sketch more. Photograph more. Experiment more. Build more.
And do it all without expectation.
Many of us create to finish rather than letting ourselves ease into the process of making things. Of course, we can improve and simplify later.
When we have too much to lose, we don't do.
When I approach the page without worry, I act.
Writing many words in a short window has given back my time.
My craft gets sharper.
And more things are delivered to the people that need it.
🔆
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The mental 'hack' that diminishes your problems...
Take a moment to bring all your problems into your awareness all at the same time.
You'll likely find it quite hard to do.
Because we can only think of one thought at a time.
Trying to think of several things at once is a very similar experience to not thinking of anything in particular.
When we're not thinking, we're fully present.
Do that for a moment.
Be aware.
Take note of all the objects, sights, colours, textures and sensations around you.
Here, there are no problems.
There are no labels.
No pressing challenges.
No stresses.
There is no meaning.
Just the crystal clear beauty of the right now.
But what's cool in all this is that you can return here whenever you like.
To this purity.
You aren't obliged to spend half your day on the magic carpet of thoughts about how shitty everything is.
You're no closer to control this way.
In fact, you're floating away from any semblance of it.
When we have the courage to shift our attention, like turning the lens of a camera, to something at a new depth of field...
We can be instantly free of problems.
And our performance improves immeasurably.
We aren't shirking our responsibilities when we drop our problems of the mind - very much the opposite.
We're being irresponsible when playing the brain dead game of thought-surfing into the abyss of darkness.
When the mind is still and there is space for intelligence to come through, we are our strongest.
Not in worry.
Not in the past.
In motion - here - with a smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye.
You will never be happier than in this moment.
🔆
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What I learned watching birds in the rain
Last week, I watched a sparrow hunker down in a drizzle.
It was a cutey.
It's claws gripped the branch, the wind picking up, the bird looked around with keen, sharp head turns.
It seemed unperturbed by the declining weather.
I thought about how we react to metaphorical rains in life.
This little bird wasn't panicking, reaching for the nearest umbrella.
It wasn't darting off to find shelter. It simply stayed put, ruffling its feathers, waiting it out.
I couldn't look away.
There was something quietly profound in its stillness. It served as a reminder that storms (whether they're in the sky or in your head) always pass.
We humans, though, love to overcomplicate things, don't we?
When the rain comes, we scramble, dash for cover, or curse the heavens.
But sometimes, the best move is no move at all.
Instead of fighting the storm, what if we just sat with it? Let the rain fall. Let it drench us.
I don't actually mean sit there in the rain like a right Wally, but you get what I'm saying.
It's a metaphor ;).
That sparrow reminded me that resilience doesn't require putting up a fight.
It's about trusting that you can handle whatever comes your way, even if that means just sitting still.
So, what storms are you waiting out right now?
Let them pour.
You're tougher than you think.
Redirect your attention to what is in your control, right in front of you.
And when we give something time, we may find things sort themselves out, like they often do.
🔆
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The eight basic habits of the luckiest people
The foundational habits that will attract more success into your life
Lucky is not a personality trait.
Nor is it a divine blessing.
I've spent years figuring out what makes people find success and attract positive things into their lives.
I learned that being lucky results from a series of creative acts.
It's not something you are born with.
It's not a gift afforded to people from specific cultural groups over others.
In other words, luck is the result of 'lucky habits.'
The more these habits are enacted, the luckier I have seen people become.
These are the foundational habits of the perpetually lucky:
1. They take lots of action.
Given that luck happens when you expose yourself to more opportunities, the missing foundational catalyst in creating more options for you is: do more. The more action you take, the more the world will take notice.
Be a maniac.
Attention placed on you and your work through doing more will bring more luck into your life.
2. They do more hard things.
Why not focus on what is easy and only on what makes you happy?
Because 'hard' is almost always code for high leverage activities that make you nervous or feel challenging.
Hard things, be it having difficult conversations with people or speaking on a stage, put you ahead of most people because most people avoid these things.
Beyond opening up more rewards for you, demanding things will stretch you and make you stronger - therefore propelling you even further.
3. They prioritise flexibility
Unlucky people limit themselves and their environments, inadvertently making their life devoid of luck.
When a challenge veers into view, whether a hefty tax bill, a divorce, or the threat of environmental disaster, they are forced to take significant losses.
Lucky people are continually aware of the need to remain flexible and footloose with a mature approach to creating backups and safety nets in their lives to endure fewer losses and - ultimately - enjoy more 'lucky' wins.
4. They risk being disliked.
The greatest documented fear beyond death itself is our fear of being criticised by others.
As such, most people actively avoid the pain of conflict and the potential to be rejected.
Avoidance has never been part of any formula for a lucky life. To be lucky, you must be willing to have people dislike you.
This means getting yourself out there, speaking your truth, and being bold as hell.
5. They consistently take risks.
Taking risks doesn't mean you live recklessly and do stupid things that put your life at risk. Lucky people know that they must be ok with taking on a risk for greater rewards.
But not just any risk. Ask any wealthy or incredibly successful person how they got there, and most will talk about taking regular, thought-through, calculated risks.
Luck rarely comes off the back of playing it safe.
6. They are givers.
Many miserable people who never seem to get anywhere share a common habit: they are takers.
They expect things to be a certain way and get more upset when things don't go their way.
They exist in an endless cycle of victimhood, always quick to blame others for their misfortunes.
Happy, lucky winners know that rewards will come their way in abundance when they follow the hidden Universal rule: you get what you give.
The more one gives, be it in sharing value and generosity or giving without expectation, the more will be reciprocated.
There isn't a direct formula in this, but the more one gives in general, the more likely you are to prompt others to return the flow of energy back to you.
7. They focus on creating, not consuming.
If consuming is equivalent to staying at home, creating opens the door and stepping outside.
Luck isn't waiting for you in your living room. You must leave home and focus on creating new things, whether new products, a piece of art, a relationship or writing a book.
And you must create every day.
If you're not creating, you live life passively, and passive is a slow death. Lucky people know that creation is about moving fearlessly.
Only in creative motion will you beat a path to the fantastic rewards that make life worth living.
8. They make the first move.
Lucky people are well aware of the spell that steers most people: they can't act unless they know it will mean being accepted.
Lucky people act whether it will lead to acceptance from others or not. This could look like starting a unique business, being an early adopter, or talking to a stranger.
This often means that decisions can lead to making mistakes, looking bad, and being criticised.
Lucky people care less.
They know that by committing to a strategy of making the first move often, they open themselves to a vast array of treasures that the scared, conformist masses will never enjoy.
🔆
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Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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17 sentences that will make you a more impactful online writer than 97% of writers
After fifteen years of writing consistently online, I've learned there is no end point you reach where all your writing woes suddenly diminish.
I'm continually learning and constantly adapting.
I have, however, picked up some reliable cause-and-effect tips that help me:
Before estimating your writing success, you must be willing to write and publish three hundred articles without judgment.
Readers are incredibly adept at sniffing out your intention. If your intention is anything other than looking to genuinely improve the life of a single reader, you will struggle.
All pieces of writing, from tweets to books, follow the three-part structure of hook (grabbing attention), build (rising tension), and payoff (final resolution).
You will struggle to resonate if you try to write for everyone instead of writing for one person you visualise as being intimately connected to you.
Do not waste the reader's time with waffly and bloated sentences full of unnecessary words - keep it tight.
You must write for yourself first but within the context of helping a defined group of people.
If your words lack the emotional electricity that springs from real belief, your reader will not believe you either.
You can write a fantastic essay without an attention-grabbing hook and suffer the consequences of obscurity.
No idea is truly original (and interesting) until you combine seemingly disparate ideas in creative ways.
You will lose your readers by assuming they understand concepts, and attract readers by painting vivid pictures for them with descriptions and examples.
Writing is easy, except we make the process complex in the mind.
The best online writers are not merely here to write; they do what they do to further a cause that fires them up every day.
All online writing must be entertaining, and one of the best ways to be entertaining is to be unexpected.
The best writers do not rely on passion to write but rather use writing to generate passion within themselves.
Every unit of writing, whether a tweet, post or book, must be relevant to the central problem you are writing about for that unit.
You aren't really a writer if you don't see yourself first as a leader and an entertainer second.
You don't write to give people more information; you write to raise someone's status, well-being, or wealth - or you help them save time.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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The power of white noise for being more creative
I've always been hypersensitive and can get overwhelmed by thinking.
I can be wholly incapacitated physically, even though a party's going on in my head.
So I like to work in cafes and public spaces to avoid losing my mind by myself in my room.
But in these places I can get fidgety and distracted, with various noises, talking, laughing and loud music (especially here in Thailand) poking their way into my awareness.
I sometimes listen to music but have found that even though I enjoy it, I tend to work faster and more efficiently without it.
Sometimes I allow myself to be distracted; people watch; to get lost in the racket, movement and chaos of reality around me.
However, I don't put much to paper that way.
Some time ago I tried listening to 'white noise' to help me focus.
It seems like a radical and primitive solution, but it has worked for me, notably.
It can be the warm and airy recorded whoosh of an aircraft cabin in flight. It can be tinkling rain in an exotic forest. It can be pure static.
*crackle* *crackle* *crackle* *crackle* *crackle* *crackle*
It is calming and helps me get into 'flow' more quickly.
The problem with general environmental noise is that anything jarring, like an overheard conversation or the crashing of cutlery, can pull you out of this state.
As a writer, I rely on being in flow, even more so than when I was working as an illustrator because I find there is more conscious, problem-solving thought required in writing, and white noise gives some room for that.
When I go out to work, and even when I am working from home, I play white noise through my Sony Extra Bass noise-cancelling headphones. These have the extra benefit of cutting out additional background noise.
I download the audio to my laptop or phone, so I can work without being connected to the Internet.
I enjoy the sounds of rain or the sea, though I find I am most productive with the aeroplane cabin sound on loop.
White noise creates a uniform, buzzing thread of sound that covers up surrounding noise, calms me, intercepts endless rumination and spiralling thought, and through this calming effect, stimulates my subconscious mind to bubble up ideas more easily.
What's interesting about white noise is, on top of acting as a cushion of sound to help you relax and focus, it can stimulate creativity.
I find that sounds of thunder, sea, wind and rain, or waterfalls, take me to a new place, triggering new ideas and thoughts just by being in a seemingly different atmosphere or world.
White noise might not be as exciting as music, but it is enjoyable enough, and I get far more done when I listen.
Using white noise is no guarantee of being more productive, nor will it necessarily lead to better, more creative work.
But I dare you to try.
—
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Driving lessons in the murder capital of the world
I learned to drive in Kingston, Jamaica in the early 2000s.
My family was posted there.
Kingston had the highest murder rate in the world at the time, and my local instructor liked to keep things interesting.
He'd welcome me with a 'Wagwan bruddah!' and a toothy grin.
His car was an old souped-up Nissan he'd rigged with engine boosters (I'm serious).
The streets were alive with chaos. Stray goats wandered across the roads as a distant gunshot popped. Potholes appeared out of nowhere, and intersections felt more like experiments in survival than traffic management.
I was terrified at first, clutching the wheel like it owed me money.
But over time I started to feel the rhythm of it. My grip loosened, my reactions sharpened.
My confidence grew.
And today, I can enjoy driving in random countries with far more ease.
What struck me later was how much that experience taught me about the value of doing things a little different.
The best kind of learning doesn't always happen in comfortable, controlled environments.
It happens when you're tested, when you're put in situations most people wouldn't attempt.
If you can handle learning in unconventional situations, you can handle far more than most people ever will.
This goes for writing and other things too. The topics that make you hesitate are often the ones worth exploring. They can feel vulnerable or scary, and that's ok.
There's opportunity here.
Courage rewards you with exhilarating adventures.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Most people struggle with online business because they don't know their WHY
Clients often approach me to help them figure out how to stand out and get more engagement online.
Not one person who succeeds at a high level, in the long run, fails to understand their deeper WHY.
A why that goes beyond survival and making money.
This is less important if you're in survival mode right now, but still crucial if you want to stay in the game.
But it's failing to share your WHY that even huge accounts fail to sell anything.
Look at the most prominent personal brands that have loyal fans.
They're ALL about fighting a cause and bringing fans into that cause.
Sharing information lists is no longer enough.
People may like your post, but they're just thanking you for taking out a couple of steps.
A robot can spit this out for you.
So, it's about sharing more of who you are, how your information relates to you specifically (or those you help), and what drives you.
For example, with a friend of mine, Kieran Drew, his thing is going from being tied down in a job you hate to creating freedom via online business.
Another example is a guy I'm friends with on Twitter: Ego Driven.
He's an anonymous account, but attracts a loyal crowd because he brings emotion into his content and exposes harsh truths, which reflects his deeper why.
You can't be emotional without purpose.
Their content is closely tied to their personal journey on their mission.
That's why it flies.
Standing out and staying motivated in the long run means creating in an authentic and energising way for you.
Knowing your broader purpose helps with this directly. Your followers will then pick up on this energy and feel more connected.
So understand what gets you emotional.
Bring that into your brand.
Then use that energy to fuel consistent and authentic work, pointing to more of what works.
This will, in turn, bring in the right people who share your purpose.
This is what unifies all of you.
It's here where the real power of personal branding lies.
These people will trust you, love you and buy from you.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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How to be more creatively productive - without losing your soul
Getting your creative work noticed, let alone gaining fans and followers can seem like a lost cause.
So much quality. So many energetic souls. A multitude of talent out there to compete with.
But as I've said before, if you make creative products, to get anyone to notice you in this frantic world, you need to produce things of quality, plenty of them, and share them consistently.
Now here's where we hit a snag.
Everyone is telling us - and rightly so - that we need to create great work.
Marketing is important, but it means nothing if your product stinks.
This is true.
But the problem is emphasising quality first.
If we set out to make something really fantastic, guess what happens?
We scare ourselves because anything that is great, especially by our own standards, using our own brains and hands, is HARD.
And so we hold back. We find excuses not to do that thing which is hard.
And then we wonder why we keep procrastinating. Because we keep giving ourselves humongous challenges. Of course we choose to eat Pringles and watch Netflix, silly.
Here's my 'formula' for producing a lot of great work, consistently:
Consistency ⮕ Volume ⮕ Simplification
Step back from the drawing board, drop your shoulders and relax a second.
For the next seven days, do something tiny every day.
You could eat something tasty and sweet daily, but it might be better if it's something you enjoy making.
Write 50 words. A sketch. Take a picture. Write a line of code. Record a 10 second video.
Work without expecting anything. Poor, ugly work counts here. 50 words of unadulterated bilge gets my nod. If you want to do more, do more, but start here and make sure it happens.
Mark a big X in your calendar every day you created something - anything.
At the end of the week, you've achieved something very substantial. You might have added small pebbles of mediocre contributions to the arts and sciences, but most importantly you've been consistent.
Now you're in the top 10% of all humans. You're forming the habit of making with frequency.
Now we're into week 2...
As the formula states, consistency is more important than volume, which is the next step in the equation.
We need to start adding volume to your creative habit. Continue on with consistently doing something small, but now you want to add more. As much as you can. It can be bad, awful work. That's fine. We're just training ourselves to produce a lot.
Set yourself a target of 500 words say. If you smash past that, go further.
Do as much as you can, as long as you don't forget to pay your rent. Scribble out a ton of sketches. Time yourself, work fast, and flow.
Do this on as many days as you can for a week. At the end of week 2, you're now not only consistent but someone who can produce abundantly.
What's good about this?
You are adding new nodes and creative experiences to your mental library. You are toning your productive muscles.
You are becoming a creative machine.
Consistent and voluminous output has yanked your starter engine into full power.
Your machine might be spitting out junk, but if you look closely it's printing out pages that aren't in full colour yet. The printer needs a few more rounds until the ink becomes stickier.
So how do we create pages in full colour? How do we make quality?
Rather than getting wound up about quality, focus on simplification, the next part of the formula.
Continue to create a lot, frequently, and you have material that can be whittled down, fine-tuned, improved, edited, and re-written if needed.
You also have more content that can be shared with the world too, don't forget.
As well as showing people you exist, this provides feedback for guiding what needs tuning.
Learn more about your area of focus, not to become bloated with knowledge, but so that you can streamline what you've already produced.
As Albert Einstein said, "everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."
Now you are a machine producing a quality page for every five.
You're no longer aspiring to be a creative genius.
You are one.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Fifteen subtle ideas that will make you happier than 96% of people
If the header of this article got you annoyed, you might benefit from reading on.
I know, I'm being cheeky.
But how we interpret the world (and the juicy hooks we read) plays a big role in our overall well-being.
Here are some ideas that have helped me maintain my happiness even if I have ups and downs:
Happiness is not something you get from 'out there.'
We all have access to it from within, but we often close ourselves off to this spring of happiness.
We do this in our thoughts and in how we pollute our bodies with junk and drugs.
In seeking happiness, we emphasise that we haven't got it yet, which makes us feel less happy.
When you are present and relaxed, you are happy, regardless of what is happening in the world that you dislike when you think about those things.
It's okay to not always feel okay.
It doesn't mean something is wrong.
Our resistance to not feeling okay often strengthens the feeling of 'unhappiness.'
The quickest route to feeling more of our innate happiness is to let go of resistance to the nature of things.
If you really want a neat trick for staying depressed - blame others for your problems.
If you want a fast track to feeling good, take ownership of your shit, quit whining and create something.
Humans are creative beings.
If we react more (complaining) than create (building), we deny who we are.
Losing what it means to be human is why we feel unhappy.
An overlooked component in happiness research is withdrawal and imbalance.
When we consume processed crap, we'll feel bad, and it's challenging to feel happy when our body is in disarray after eating a bowl of Twinkies.
When we quit any kind of drug, even caffeine, we'll feel withdrawal - including psychological withdrawal.
I've felt flat and unmotivated for weeks because of this, but I am still happy beneath it.
I don't equate short-term displeasure and chemical imbalance with unhappiness.
The happiest people have stopped looking for happiness.
Instead, they focus on creating things, being consistent, and being useful to others.
You can be the happiest person in the room and not feel jacked up and high.
Modern (unhappy) normies think that happiness means you need to be smiling big, sparkly smiles all the time. It doesn't.
Happiness is quiet acceptance, not amped on dopamine.
An unnatural diet inhibits your ability to feel happy and creative.
This is why I eat a primal diet that hasn't changed much in the last 1000 years.
Human bodies evolve slowly. Our diets have evolved quickly.
Is there a link between brain fog and wolfing a loaf of bread? Of course there is.
Bread and doughnuts are processed (delicious) garbage that blocks your deepest sense of happiness.
Many of us are frustrated because we think things need to be harmonious for us to live a good life.
But life is chaos, num nuts. Let go to this reality. Expect the shitty moments. When they come, you can take them gracefully.
You navigate the Earth like water, not mud.
We've lived entirely out of sync with how humans have naturally grown accustomed to living.
I.e. spending lots of time outdoors, in the sun, eating meat, broth and a bit of fruit, and not typing in equations on Spreadsheets.
Most of this modern work we get stressed about is essentially meaningless manufactured claptrap soon to be replaced by robots, here to prop up an illusory machine that could collapse at any moment.
What does this all mean?
It means we must find compassion for ourselves.
You're doing incredibly well for someone willing to put up with all this - as we have for centuries.
The best we can do is make the most of it, find meaningful work that interests us, and find a way to enjoy it.
Happy people are willing to be disliked if it means embracing and expressing their true nature.
Follow what others might criticise as 'weird' if it's ethical and makes you happy.
Finally, if you're worried that you aren't 'happy enough,' you might want to look into letting go of yourself and figuring out a way to make others happy.
One way (I hope) I do this is through my daily writing.
I can see I help people through my words, and this makes me the happiest of all.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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25 things I'd tell my younger, anxious self to feel unstoppable
What I learned over 38 years I wish I was told when I was younger.
Personality is temporary and made up. You can be who you want to be.
No one has the power to lower your self-esteem because self-esteem is an illusion.
Rejection is a sign you are growing and living. It's not a big deal.
Your thoughts create stress, not the world around you. It may seem like it does, but the pain comes from you. Let go.
Saying what you really mean (not what you think you 'should' say) is not easy but you lose your dignity and a piece of yourself each time you say what you don't mean.
You are much more effective when you aren't thinking so much.
Slow your breath to slow your thoughts.
Slow your talking and your movements to calm down.
Exercise more than most, and you will be calmer (and stronger) than most.
Start lifting weights today.
You feel what you eat. Eat junk, and you will feel like junk, so choose wisely.
You are already confident; you just think you're not.
The more you act, the more confident you will feel.
There is power and joy in the present moment. It's all you have. Your advantage is in the present, always.
Learn about spirituality and becoming more conscious today - start with The Power of Now.
Create something every day. It will revitalize you.
It may seem as though worry is helpful, but it absolutely isn't. Every minute spent worrying is making you feel worse.
Choose happiness, don't wait for it.
Don't expect others to make you happy. Don't expect anything from anyone, in fact.
Blaming others for anything only makes you more miserable and weaker.
Be self-reliant and revel in your progression here, but don't detach from people.
Feel better about yourself by focusing on making others happy. Think less about yourself.
No one judges you as much as you think. They are preoccupied with their own insecurities.
Struggle is part of life, but most of us make up what struggle is. Expect it and own it.
Finally, know that life can be a wonderful experience.
It needn't be a constant struggle.
You can turn around a bad day instantly because of who you are and the strength you can easily access. We are allowed to have fun every single day.
Don't allow your thoughts or someone else to take that from you.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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The only thing stopping you is your thoughts
I was talking to someone recently about the stress they were having.
They described how challenging it could be at work with all the pressure of tight deadlines and a boss who didn't seem to have any empathy.
Their work and their boss stressed them out daily.
Me being me with my coaching hat on, stepped in and said, 'You know stress is a man-made illusion, right?'
That's right.
Stress isn't actually a thing.
It's a name some clever clogs in a lab gave to all the feelings of resistance we have to the world around us.
When we tighten up inside and resist what is happening around us, this is felt as stress.
But it's just energy. We're responding to the chaotic theatre of our thoughts.
Don't get me wrong - resisting life, and feeling what appears to be stress CAN have a negative physical impact on the body.
Stress slowly kills.
But this just proves the point further.
Our thoughts hold a ton of power.
If we believe our thoughts, we are at a major risk.
Thoughts will always come and go as they do.
The problem is when we grip onto them tight, and then we fuss, and moan and get anxious about our thoughts.
There is no solace here - only in watching them go by and using them to plan our day.
Once we've visualised what we want, it's time to let go and focus on doing things in the real world, out of our heads.
Thoughts are really the only things stopping us from fluidly enjoying our lives versus stumbling through.
Do you choose to be crippled by thoughts?
Or do you choose to play lightly with thoughts in life's grand, beautiful game?
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Why I started taking my newsletter seriously
Some of you have been around long enough to remember this.
Over 15 years ago, I launched an ebook on online promotion for creatives. I already had a small newsletter at the time, but I hadn't done much to grow it.
I thought it would be enough to get the word out.
The ebook sold okay, but it became clear that my small audience wasn't enough to make the kind of impact I wanted. It was an afterthought, not a must.
So, I got to hustling.
I created written content online to attract more readers and eventually offered a free PDF booklet to incentivise new subscribers. That one move doubled my subscriber rate pretty much overnight.
It was a lightbulb moment.
Social media is great for grabbing attention, but your audience isn't yours. Algorithms and platform changes can make or break your reach.
Your email list is where you build deeper trust. That's where people really get to know you and, eventually, buy from you.
Today, my newsletter business allows me to live anywhere (I'm in Poland right now), be free, and make a living talking about the things that fascinate me.
It's the foundation for everything I do.
If you've been thinking about starting a newsletter, let me say this: It's never too late, and your list doesn't need to be massive to make a dent on the right people.
You might start small, like I did, writing to just a few subscribers (my mum and her friends).
And that might not be ideal for a bit, but you can always reuse old articles you write.
As your email list grows, so does the opportunity to increase your freedom.
(Cue Braveheart)
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Why attention-seeking is your moral obligation
Many think seeking attention is tasteless.
They associate it with influencers doing stupid dances or entrepreneurs humble-bragging about their cars.
But getting attention for your ideas isn't about you.
It's about your message reaching the people who need it most.
Had I known this earlier, I wouldn't have spent so much time playing Xbox instead of publishing, as if my life depended on it.
If you had the cure for a disease, would you keep it hidden because you didn't want to seem like you were showing off?
If you knew how to prevent suffering, would you stay quiet to avoid looking immodest?
That would be insane. Yet that's precisely what you do when you hold back your insights, experiences, and unique way of seeing things.
'Creative block' is manifested fear because we don't want to appear uncouth.
It's an excuse.
Just as 'imposter syndrome' is an excuse.
Too many of us completely underestimate our value in the world. Even one story told well can change someone's life. No one has had your experiences, struggles and skills in the unique combo that only you possess.
That needs to be put to use.
Your perspective, wrapped in your particular stories and lessons, is medicine for someone else's pain (or even world change).
You have solutions to problems people are dealing with right now. But they can't find the medicine if you keep it locked in your drafts folder, buried under layers of false modesty.
Those voices in your head saying, "What will people think?" and "Who am I to put myself out there?" are not humble thoughts. It's your protective ego talking.
You assume your comfort matters more than someone else's growth, that your fear of judgment is more important than the people who need what you have to share.
You don't need to be in the spotlight.
You can operate from the shadows if you want. But your message needs maximum visibility. Your ideas need to reach the right people.
If not, it's selfish.
The truly egotistical move isn't seeking attention - it's keeping your gifts hidden because you're more concerned with protecting yourself than helping others.
Some people will call you attention-seeking.
Good. Let them.
While they're judging, trying to bring you to their shitty level, you'll be solving real problems and creating awareness around the issues that matter.
Attention matters.
🔆
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Ten lesser-known habits that will make you happier than 98% of people
I get it, 'happiness' isn't really a thing.
It's fleeting.
At the same time, most of us instinctively know what we mean by happy, so I'm going to stick with it for this article.
The following habits will clarify what I mean anyway...
Stop looking for happiness.
Chasing 'happiness' only reinforces the fact that you haven't reached it.
Way to go, dumbass.
This is one of life's greatest paradoxes and it could be why you continue to live in the dark.
Be relentlessly keen on helping others succeed.
It's easy to think that this kind of enthusiasm isn't in us naturally. We're too busy trying to succeed ourselves.
But - as I've found over the years - and just as with any other discipline - we grow into it.
The more you do it, the more this naturally comes to you.
Supporting and lifting others will take the emphasis off you, diminishing your self-consciousness while also bringing in insane levels of good karma.
Be unreasonably focused on helping others succeed.
Refuse to live your life as a whiny ass victim.
95% of victimhood is self-creation.
Most of us secretly love feeling like a poor widdle victim because it takes away our agency.
But this is like taking a wet fish and repeatedly slapping ourselves in the face with it.
You make life worse by assigning blame and positioning yourself as someone who needs love and attention for doing diddly squat.
There are two modes:
CREATOR and VICTIM.
Choose the first one.
Know the difference between being reckless and inviting high upside risks.
Both appear risky, but only one secretly fills up your tank with magnificent gold coins.
What is a high upside risk?
It's something that often feels scary but the downsides are low and the upsides are high.
Maybe it's starting a creative project, hosting a solo podcast, inviting someone for coffee, writing a vulnerable article, making good art, going on a long hike, or asking for help.
These are good risks.
Fill your life with these every day, and your happiness will rise.
Get really freaking kickass good at something specific.
You can be a jack of all trades if you want, but don't let this be at the expense of getting outstanding at one thing.
Our happiness is closely tied - not to how much validation we get from others - but to how useful we are in society.
Brainstorm daily like a badger on acid.
There's a cheeky secret you'll wish you knew about badgers.
They're brainstorming hard in their little underground lairs when we can't see them. Scheming little demons.
Brainstorming is one of the easiest and most enjoyable creative acts.
We feed creative fuel into the creative fire, and we come out with a steaming hot loaf of creative gold.
Brainstorm more. You'll be happier.
Regularly reconnect with nature.
Yeah, I know. Sounds cripplingly cliche, but it's so cliche that we've come full circle, and it's good advice once more.
Plus, we can easily forget this in our busy, modern lives.
This means making dedicated weekly or, ideally, daily time to getting out into a field, forest, fjord, fen or some foothills for nature fun time.
You're a human, not a cyborg. You need to experience nature deeply as we always have.
Stop thinking that just because it's 2028, you get to hunch your pallid corpse over a screen 18 hours of the day.
No wonder you're not happy.
Be ruthlessly intolerant to any thoughts that make you feel less than.
The problem for most of us is we think our thoughts actually hold meaning.
I hate to break it to you, but you're an asshat if you think your thoughts hold weight. Your personal thoughts about who you think you are, that is.
Those ones being directed by an ego reliant on self-preservation.
The best thoughts come through the gap left in our minds when we relax.
Those are never not positive. They always feel good.
Our default state is to feel good because we aren't punishing ourselves in the dim theatres of our frightened minds.
Do more of what you really really want to do.
You're not a moron, so I'm going to ignore your wise-crack comments about doing reckless nonsense that pollutes your soul.
I'm talking about those wholesome things you keep thinking about doing but you come up with excuses to not do.
In my case, it's building my own cabin. I've been holding that off for years, and it's time I did something about it.
To start, I'm going to learn about woodwork.
I'm not even kidding.
And neither should you be.
Continually ask, 'How can I use this?'
Undoubtedly, there's a ton of stuff swirling around in your head right now that you don't like.
You suffered a setback.
Sally isn't responding to your texts.
Jacob made a mean face at you by the water cooler.
You have this thing coming up next week you're dreading.
A major happiness life hack is to take whatever it is that's stressing you and turn it into fuel.
You do this by asking the above question.
Everything - in a weird kind of way - can be turned into a blessing.
Try it now.
This will change your life.
🔆
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Being ok with being disliked is the number one life skill
We all want to be liked.
It means safety, gifts, validation, a sense of confidence.
I can relate.
My actions over the last 37 years have absolutely been influenced by a deep need to be liked.
It's why social media works so well.
We get a very real hit of dopamine when someone likes our post or smiles at us in the street.
We're not far off from those rats given cocaine pellets in an experiment.
They could not stop the need for continual dopamine hits and became easy addicts, giving up on their health entirely just so they could get that hit.
Validation is addictive.
And it makes total sense.
But in our need for being liked, we also introduce a dangerous mechanism into our lives.
Why?
Because if we rely on other people to feel good...
Other people have the power to make us feel bad too.
We are at the mercy of the external.
This is death to self-expression, creativity and ongoing happiness.
It's not down to us.
How fragile this makes us.
But it's all about perspective.
The minute we realise that other people's opinions have absolutely no bearing on our self-worth, we're free.
We're free to act without the fear of a painful repercussion:
That illusory sense that we have esteem or 'worth' to lose.
There is no connection.
Our self-esteem is endless and abundant when we allow it to flow through us like a river after a torrential downpour.
If we can be ok with the idea of being disliked nothing can stop us.
This is a practice.
A habit.
An unwiring.
But you've already made 90% of the progress you need through understanding that your confidence is based on you...
Not anyone else.
Be ok with being disliked.
🔆
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Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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How to use your 'willpower muscle' to gain an advantage
It was getting absurd.
For the last three days in a row, I'd been turning off the lamp on my bedside annoyed that I didn't get done what I said I would.
To write that many words.
I was annoyed with myself for wasting time. Again.
Annoyed with myself for not even remembering half the day and what I did with it.
I'd had better days than this, but for some reason I was repeatedly slipping, and beyond just being a bit lazy, I couldn't think why.
Today was different. I tried something new, and things worked. At least as far as getting a good amount of work done.
I'd figured out a couple of useful things.
The first was recognizing that there are two kinds of activities:
1. 'Urgent'
2. Important
The second thing I learned was understanding the science of willpower - I'll get to that in a second.
Urgent or emotionally-driven activities, on the whole, give you results in the short run.
Whether it's responding to urgent emails, texting, gaming, making phone calls, even doing some client work, all the way to eating sweets and smoking, these are all emotionally-charged actions.
Important tasks, for the most part, are those that help you in the long run.
Going to the gym, and adding assets to your life like new blog posts, creating residual income, building your brand, working on paintings, writing books, and investing in yourself through learning are all important activities.
Obviously, we want to be prioritising those things that are important in our lives.
And yet so many of us don't, because it is easier to do what's urgent, shiny and yummy.
I put 'urgent' in quotes, because often these tasks are not as urgent as they appear. If they are, then they morph into important tasks.
You need to figure out where the division lies for you.
So, back to the willpower thing.
Recent research by psychologist Kelly McGonigal has changed the way we think about willpower.
Willpower is not something possessed by the special few.
Much like muscle strength, it actually physically diminishes over time. According to McGonigal's research, the more self-control we use and the more stress we encounter over the course of the day, the more willpower is depleted. It is then replenished after we get some sleep.
In other words, every one of us has more 'physical' willpower in our tanks at the start of the day than at the end.
Tasks that are good for us in the long term take more self control, for the most part.
Seemingly urgent, emotional tasks take less self control and therefore less willpower.
When a task absolutely must get done or is addictive, it takes barely any willpower to do that thing.
So, knowing that it's harder to do important tasks that are better for the long term, than those that provide short term gain, and that willpower is highest at the start of the day, I put two and two together.
I'd have to get more strict about what I'd spend my time on - and when.
Important stuff needs to get done earlier in the day, and 'urgent' stuff later.
Simple as that.
Writing a lot, planning outlines for books, making illustrations, going to the gym - this all had to get done sooner, before my willpower began to fade. Responding to emails, texting friends, having some cake - this gets pushed to later in the day.
Of course things are never this simple, and sometimes urgent stuff is unavoidable.
You might need the evenings to work on something creative if it helps you get in the flow and you have some peace and quiet.
Taking breaks and allowing ourselves a bit of short term pleasure while we work on the important stuff is also ok. Just as long as the bulk of it is left till later.
Much better to reward yourself later for important tasks done sooner.
By doing this, more of what really matters gets done properly.
This is a work in progress for me. It requires tweaking and getting better at it, but it serves as a useful guide to what gets prioritised.
Rather than wrestling with our nature, we need to work with it.
Use your willpower muscle to help you win your long-term game.
🔆
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The Artist's Path - what to expect, from Innocent to Sage
Can we visualise the artist's path - from total beginner to expert?
Here's what to expect:
The Innocent
Raw potential. No habits to unlearn.
Everything looks like magic.
You don't know what you don't know - and that's your superpower.
Most quit here because they attach results to self-worth.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The Apprentice
First principles. Basic patterns emerging.
You're building the foundation, even if you can't see the house yet.
This is the hardest phase because your taste and vision exceeds your ability.
0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1
The Practitioner
Starting to flow. Basics are becoming automatic.
You can create solid work, but it still feels mechanical.
You know the rules well enough to see why they exist.
0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1
The Specialist
Deep competence. You have a clear voice.
You've found your lane, and you're running hard in it.
You can solve complex problems, but you're still solving them consciously.
1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1
The Innovator
Pattern recognition. Intuitive leaps.
You're not just following the rules - you're seeing where they bend.
Your unconscious mind has taken over most of the work.
1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1
The Artist
Pure instinct.
Everything is connection.
You're not thinking about the craft anymore - you're channeling it.
You create new patterns others will study.
1 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1
The Sage
Transcendent simplicity.
You've gone so far past mastery that you're back to simplicity but at a higher level.
You don't just break rules - you show why the rules existed.
1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 1
Key insights:
Even sages fail 20% of the time.
Progress is real but gradual.
The innocent's rare successes are helpful for motivation, but most motivation must be sourced from within, focusing on the process.
The apprentice's increased success rate (8%) represents 4x improvement.
The biggest jumps are practitioner to specialist (20% to 40%) and innovator to artist (60% to 70%).
No one reaches 100% - mastery is about raising your baseline, not achieving perfection. At this point, you'd no longer be human.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity so you get to Sage faster?
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Why being unreasonable is the most sensible strategy
A while back, I lost my drive.
Don't worry. I was okay. I wasn't having a full-blown mid-life crisis.
It was more of a dull, creeping kind of hum that seemed to whisper to me that work wasn't particularly interesting anymore.
Often, I like to read through articles I'd written from many years ago. To see what kinds of thoughts I was having when I had a few less wrinkles.
I found an article about being unreasonable.
As I read, I felt myself reviving, like a cup of warm water filling slowly.
It hit me with a ping to my left nipple.
I'd been too reasonable recently.
I then remembered when I was living in Ho Chi Minh City and my soul buzzed like the throng of mopeds passing my window each day.
I had made the 'unreasonable' decision to motorbike through Vietnam with little experience with a guy I'd met only briefly in the airport.
I was a little scared, but I also felt alive.
In fact, every time I'd made a decision to do what few do; to do things that most would say are a 'little over the top, Alex,' life becomes colourful again.
This applies to your life goals and work as much as to adventures.
Are you being too reasonable?
Are your goals and plans a bit 'meh'?
That might be why you feel like plasticine on a cold day.
Go a little crazy.
Lean into your inner maniac.
What do they say you should do?
Go there.
Go big and go all in.
Don't be reasonable. It's dull.
Be unreasonable and do whatever it takes to make it happen.
One way you can do this this year is through writing more.
Be prolific. Write a lot each day. Think of what you can achieve when you do.
🔆
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Why no one cared about my writing
(and what changed)
When I started writing online over a decade ago, I thought I had it figured out
I'd write about the topics I found interesting, hit publish, and wait for the magic to happen.
But... nothing happened.
The views trickled in at a rate of honey down the side of a hill.
The comments were non-existent.
And after a while, I started asking myself the question that kills many writers: Is this even worth it?
I wasn't a bad writer. But I was making one big mistake:
I was trying to write for everyone.
The more, the better, right?
Nope.
I wanted my ideas to reach as many people as possible, so I kept my topics broad.
I played it safe and avoided sharing stronger opinions.
I left out personal stories because I thought I'd look like a giant doofus.
And in doing so, I wrote words that resonated with no one.
The turning point came when I let go of an ego-driven need to be liked by the masses and started speaking directly to the people I knew needed my work.
This required a little foresight.
I got specific. I thought about:
Who my audience actually was.
What they were struggling with.
What kept them up at night.
What I could give them that no one else could.
And, very quickly, things changed.
People started commenting and sharing my work.
People reached out to me thanking me for how my words helped them feel seen.
If you're struggling to connect with your audience, the issue is not your lack of talent.
It's where you put your attention when you write.
This is a tiny shift, but it makes all the difference.
🔆
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Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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This is how I live a more 'centred' life
Being 'centred.'
What does that mean to you?
Is this a state of being - reserved only for orange-robed monks living in mountain-top monasteries?
Is being centred only for 'spiritual' people?
Does it mean that you become soft-voiced, and limp-wristed, with a continual glazed look in your eyes?
Do you need to be passive and super-chill to be centred?
Always on a journey, never getting to anything?
Are only hippies centred?
Do you need to go full vegan to be a centred person?
I've spent a lot of my life in anxiety. Fidgety. Worried. In my thoughts.
And I will likely spend the rest of my life experiencing these things...
But these moments will diminish...
The more I remain 'centred.'
Being centred is a momentary thing; as is being fidgety and distracted.
It is fleeting. It doesn't define who we are - it defines our behaviour in a second.
Being 'centred' is a way of being that we can cultivate - leaning more and more into it so that it becomes an increasingly ubiquitous feature of our experience.
I am centered in some moments, and not in others. But I am becoming more centred overall.
The less centred we are, the more we are swayed by life's frenzy, and the more we struggle.
The more I move to be centred, the more exhilarating of an adventure life becomes.
This is who I am when I am centred
I am less attached to the 'significance' of my thoughts and feelings.
I see these as part of the human condition - I don't feel the need to stew, figure it all out, or panic when a feeling or a scary thought arises.
I allow them to reveal themselves like passing sign-posts, before floating by.
Just because I have a thought doesn't mean I should do anything with it. I can choose in an instant, and let go.
I am free.
I know that I am the observer of these thoughts; I am not my thoughts.
As such, I am connected to the spirit that runs through all things, behind labels. It's fun to know that I can connect with this energy, rather than the power of fear.
I am conscious, not self-conscious. I am ok to relinquish those things about me that I was hiding.
Triggers are opportunities to grow, not to defend myself.
I am connected, instead of separate.
My energy is less scattered because I am not a slave to my emotions and my ruminations; even my visions.
I go slow to notice things, and because I move slow, the world slows to meet me, and it all seems rather easy. Because I am more conscious and engaged, I can then speed up.
I sense the gaps in things. The silence behind the noise. The meaning behind the words. The surface-level intricacies and details too.
I am better able to ease into not knowing.
I live in awareness, and I know that awareness is all I need to be my most optimal at this moment.
I have accepted that the past could not have happened any other way.
I set goals and create plans that I use to inform an excited energy in me right now. These visions speak to my potential. But I don't tie my egoic sense of self-worth to their attainment.
What happens happens, and I keep moving.
I relax into the conversation because I no longer try to impress or predict. I am given what I need in the gaps created by the stillness of thought.
Any temptation to ruminate is soon discharged by redirecting attention to what is right in front of me.
I know that if I can become centred with the small things, I can become centred with the big things.
Everything is an opportunity to play the game of returning to consciousness.
To being alive.
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Fourteen ways to accelerate success in your life that few talk about
It's easy to get stuck in a rut. We can judge our progress to be slow and make it slower by escaping to cheap dopamine hits.
Often, it needn't take much to get back on track and give what we are already creating a boost:
Run or join a weekly group mastermind.
We all have zoom. We're all connected at the click of a button.
And yet, we're lonely and stuck. Use the power of the Internet and peer support to create an advantage for all involved.
Use this meeting to hold each other accountable, share successes, and provide mutual support.
It doesn't need to cost more than your Wi-fi.
Go on weekly adventures.
It's easy to see adventures as frivolous - a waste of time at best, and dangerous at worst.
But adventures fuel the soul. We all need a change of scene with a dash of risk thrown in.
This will re-energise you and bring depth and experience to your work once you're back to your desk.
Replace worry with action.
Many of us cling to worry because a part of us believes there is value in this.
We think we have some control on our lives when we ruminate on problems.
But - as we all know - doing so just makes us feel worse, which puts us at a disadvantage.
One of the best skills you can learn is letting go of worry and immediately replacing this with either breathwork or action, whether cleaning the house, walking or creating.
Connect with a mentor.
Most people are too shy to consider approaching a potential mentor for help.
It may take some asking to get through, but when you've found someone who can help save you hours or years of time and mistakes made, you'll see why this was such a great move.
Lead a social event or community.
Good things come to those who lead, not least a sense of fulfilment.
Get a group of friends together, and you are instantly a connector that others look up to.
Better yet, invite people you want to learn from to be part of a free community, and you gain as a leader and from the social capital.
Spend the morning learning something new.
One of the best habits I picked up was to start the day reading non-fiction.
When I started running out of ideas for my writing, I realised that reading wasn't just a cool luxury - but a necessity.
I use Shortform to gather the key components of a book without needing to read the whole thing.
Do nothing for hours or even a full day.
Doing absolutely nothing is underrated.
Everywhere we turn in the modern age, we're pressured to take action, to hustle and to be busy.
There's power to occasionally go against the grain and let go of the need to do anything.
This can be difficult to do for many. Try it.
You might find your creative capacity kicking in and feeding you the best ideas.
Exercise your creative muscle.
Creativity isn't something only a handful of geniuses are born with.
You can exercise the muscle like you would your thighs in the gym. Do brainstorms, combine two disparate ideas, play word association games, doodle, and write more lists.
You're probably doing it wrong if it doesn't feel like play. Have fun with this.
Do at least 10 minutes of 'dream work.'
What are your secret dreams?
What would you love to have happen in your life more than anything else?
Maybe you let go of that dream because life got in the way.
But why let it go when you can do something - anything - towards making it real today?
My dream is to write a fiction novel. So I spend 10 minutes at least each day writing fiction, even if I'm 'busy.' Now I'm working on my dreams, no matter what.
Track your screen time.
Let's face it. You're probably on the screen too long, and you know it's cutting into valuable family or productivity time.
So track the time you spend.
There are all kinds of apps for this. When you track something, you bring awareness to it.
With awareness, it gets much easier to reduce, so you create more time.
Write a daily online post.
As time goes on, more of us are coming face to face with the reality that building a personal brand and audience is becoming vital.
You don't need to overthink it if you commit to a daily writing and publishing practice in some form.
Share something, even if it's just 100 words on Linkedin every day.
Your discipline will sharpen and you'll have a growing audience to show for it.
Assume leadership.
Most people are tired and afraid, waiting for someone to show up and lead them.
The better way to find more joy and confidence is to assume the position of a leader yourself. This needn't mean leading an army.
You can lead when you reach out to connect with people and share value.
Make the first move. Leadership is one of the most effective mental health pills there is.
Record off-the-cuff videos.
Over the last four years, I've recorded and shared over 400 videos of me talking on my phone.
It was never about growing a large following but rather a means to order my thoughts, create recorded diary-like memories, and improve my speaking confidence.
When you get your face on video, all kinds of opportunities will open up.
Message three or more people per day.
We're all glued to our texts, so I'm really talking about reaching out to three people you wouldn't otherwise have messaged.
Message someone without expecting anything in return.
This activity compounds. Do it without thinking about it too much or you'll stall.
This habit will bring rewards when you least expect them.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Seven subtle behaviours that ruin your relationships
Decades of clumsily spoiling my relationships, combined with an unhealthy obsession into human behaviour and attraction-dynamics has compelled me to write this for you love-birds.
Let's get down and dirty:
Your obsession with 'compatibility.'
One of the oft-cited reasons for many public divorces is 'irreconcilable differences.'
Though I don't think it means this specifically, it's easy to think that the reason relationships often fail is because you two were too different.
Wrong. A successful relationship has nothing to do with compatibility - or your freaking star signs.
If anything, if you guys are on two ends of the same spectrum, this makes for a more interesting and 'stickier' relationship. It's not Jake's interest in ancient Egyptian death ceremonies that puts you off.
It's your inability to let go of the prickly idea that you guys are 'incompatible' in the first place. It's in the mind. That's the problem.
Looking to them for validation.
If you decide to be in a relationship to be validated by another human, you're on dangerous terrain.
Why? Because your 'happiness' is now conditional.
Nate may one day look at you funny, not because he's an asshole, but because the next mortgage payment is on his mind.
But you took it personally because you rely on his continual smiley attention, and now you're giving him the silent treatment.
Way to go, buttface.
Relationships should be a means to share the love already rippling inside you, NOT as a way to apply ointment to the pain of your low perceived sense of 'worth.'
Caving to your need for novelty.
Yes, the modern world has instilled in us the idea that we have an inconceivably wide range of options in all areas.
A host of junk can be pulled up online, picked, and delivered within a day. Even your next Chad.
Your finger's become a claw because you can't stop scrolling for all the eye-watering novelty.
Sure, there are times when a relationship runs its course, but often they end too soon because you couldn't just sit with the uncomfortable itch for wanting more.
Treat a relationship as an opportunity to develop mastery over your mind and your emotions.
Find a way to serve and connect more deeply with who you're with, over caving - like a drooling child at a toy shop - to your dopamine-lusting brain.
Basing a relationship on 'love.'
If you're getting into relationships solely because you love one another, you're - quite frankly - a moron.
'Love' is your subjective opinion of the emotions YOU feel, moment by moment.
These feelings will shift, fade, and return again. The strongest relationshipps are based on more than love and lust. They acknowledge their transactional nature.
He needs this. She needs that.
Quit lying to yourselves, and be open about what those needs are.
Make sure you exchange what you know you both want, and stop using your faded sense of 'love' to justify the failure of your alliance.
Being in each other's faces all day.
You know the saying: 'familiarity breeds contempt.' Strong relationships can be counterintuitive.
There are two sides to maintain.
Connect and make each other feel better.
2) Actively create distance.
If you're working in the same house day-long, I wish you lots of luck, but I'd advise you find a way to get out of each other's way.
Not because you're a dick. But because the relationship will be stronger because of it.
Competing with your partner.
Let go of the lie that you're both equal in needs and duties. No. You're polar opposites.
North doesn't attract north. That's why unequal relationships work. Men don't need to come home to another boss who nags his ear off.
Neither do women get turned on by men who cower to her wishes so that the household comprises two housewives.
If she's the dominant and he's the submissive, ok maybe. But if you guys are competing and keeping score, it will gradually break down.
Embrace your differences and the uniqueness in your needs, and tend to those - yin and yang.
Being too nice.
There's no quicker way to destroy a healthy romantic relationship than putting each other into an awkward friend zone.
This can happen even if you were both initially passionate. Niceness can creep in when you're actively trying to avoid displeasing the other. Stop. Locate your nuts and return to your darker side.
You're not buddies - certainly not if you're in the earlier stages.
You're in a continual and fascinating dance of animalistic seduction.
Get back to teasing.
Stop taking yourself and it all so seriously.
Find a way to have fun with it.
Your relationship will flourish,
And so will the love.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Follow your fascinations, and turn them into obsessions to get further
Life is too short to spend time away from the things that do not fascinate us.
Yet so many go through their entire lives ignoring their deeper fascinations because they prefer to play it safe and avoid looking a fool.
Don't let this be you.
Understanding our fascinations makes up a huge component of understanding ourselves. The better we know our drives (beyond the obvious natural ones), the more we can optimise our energy.
Creative geniuses are aware of their fascinations and turn them into obsessions over time. Think of some of your favourites, like Nikola Tesla, Frida Kahlo, Pablo Picasso, Leonardo DaVinci and Steve Jobs. And perhaps some other everyday heroes closer to home.
They never shied away from the stigma attached to obsession. They rode it like a wave.
When we're fascinated by something, our emotions don't lie. We don't need to force anything. It just draws us in.
I wouldn't need to tell you this if people didn't so regularly pursue paths defined by other people, not themselves - not led by their personal, genuine interests.
Find those things that evoke a ping of emotion in you. They are those things that make you feel good merely thinking about them. And no, we're not talking about sparkle-eye Shirley at the cafe who smiled at you.
Yes, sometimes fascinations are developed only after we've spent some time working on something.
Sometimes, fascinations are stumbled upon by accident. A friend of mine, for example, developed a fascination in car mechanics after his dad's vintage car broke down and needed restoring. But that's good too.
We need to take note of these curiosities and run with them where it makes sense. This is part of the searching process.
Being an excited creative really boils down to finding and tapping into those energy sources. They're like chemical reactions that take place when our curiosity meets application.
When the energy of fascination finds you, you must think very seriously about how you might bring more of this into your life.
Sometimes, a fascination is fleeting and disappears soon after it appears. Take note of those too. They aren't real fascinations.
Find the things to which you continually return. That's the difference.
Often, it appears as a vision in mind or a prickly feeling prompting you to search for something online or in a book.
If you've been entertaining the idea of buying land and building a cabin on and off for over a decade (like I have), you'll know this is a true fascination you might like to pursue. You know with a good amount of certainty that this kind of work will likely sustain you.
Fascinations present you with a gift few of us ever use. We're over-stimulated and stressed because we can't find a natural energy source beyond a cup of coffee.
Take a look at your bookshelf. The books you buy, the articles you read and the YouTube videos you watch reveal your fascinations. Where are the patterns?
This all points directly to those things you could potentially develop a high level of craft over the years. This is your potential' Zone of Mastery'.
Be careful here. You can easily get pulled in many directions by things that pique your interest, mainly because of their fresh novelty. This is why we must temper this with a singularity of focus.
This means honouring those 'fascinations' that repeatedly rise to the top and having the strength to stay with one or a couple of main obsessions maximum.
You will need self-control and awareness to avoid falling into the trap of pursuing a never-ending stream of shiny -objects. This might bring you many life experiences, but you will fail to see the fruits of robust accumulations of effort centred around any one thing.
None of these short-lived projects get the time and attention they need from you, in which case you're denying what could have been in the case of sticking with any one fascination.
Your fascination may be a hybrid of several crafts, too, like teaching and painting and understanding nature (for tree-painting art teachers).
It's down to your creativity to find what that is for you.
But that's how to really separate yourself, find your purpose and ride the energy that comes with immersing yourself in this kind of work.
Find your fascination(s), honour them, and double down on them.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Why thinking we have a 'self' to protect is the cause of all our suffering
All our suffering stems from the belief we have a 'self' to protect.
Bold, right?
I stand firmly by this, but I'm not the first to make such an assertion.
One of the central tenets of Buddhism is the need to abandon the mentally-constructed illusion of who we think we are to live a peaceful, empowered and effective existence.
Let's take a closer look at what I mean here.
As humans, we have the power to create an experienced reality using our thoughts.
If we hold something to be true in our minds, we literally create a version of 'truth' as perceived by us.
Why does it happen this way?
In a word: survival.
Everything about who we are has been honed over millennia in a continual process of helping us survive in our environment.
Our thoughts were developed to help us get what we want in a dangerous world.
When we imagine what we want, every strand of our being is put to work to make it happen.
Our brain becomes attuned to our environments because it wants to match our behaviours to our survival needs and wants.
So when we think about wanting to avoid being eaten by a bear, we become hooked into on those elements in our environment that hint at this threat.
We notice the footprints. We hear the rustle in the bushes. We see the brown smudge on the horizon.
Thanks brain.
And thanks thoughts.
But this powerful mechanism of using thoughts to get what we want to survive has hurt us throughout humanity.
A strong tendency is for us to create images of who we think we are using these same powerful thoughts. Because many of us aren't aware of the truth of who we really are, we fill in the gaps.
We create identities of self.
And those identities are constructed out of flimsy notions prompted by past experiences and judgements made by others.
Our sense of self is a tapestry of fading memories and patterns of thoughts.
I'm this.
I'm that kind of person.
I'm not like that.
I'm no good at that.
I'm great at this.
I'm just Jenny from the block.
All thoughts.
All estimations.
But this is just who we think we are. This is our 'self.'
Our sense of self cannot possibly be real because it's made up. It's self-created.
Ask yourself the question right now:
Who am I, really?
Are you really your nationality? Your religion? Your schooling? Your talents?
You are none of these things, though these things can certainly be associated with you in your flesh and blood form.
But that's two different things.
Deep down, we know this, but we allow our thoughts to bully their way through to centre stage.
So, going back to my initial assertion:
All our suffering stems from the belief we have a 'self' to protect.
We've created something seemingly tangible when we construct this illusion of self. We've made it our reality, just like we make trying to avoid a bear our reality.
We can also call this our 'ego.'
This something tangible becomes so real to us, so US, that we are compelled to protect it.
We must protect it because that's how thinking works, and that's how survival works.
We survive by doing everything in our grasp to align our realities and environments with our thoughts.
We must prove ourselves.
But this brings suffering. Because if we perceive something or someone as a threat to our sense of self, we get defensive.
We take things personally.
We make it about us.
But 'us' - don't forget - isn't a thing beyond skin, flesh and bones.
I'm not talking about physically protecting ourselves and our families with a gun at the door of our barn. That's different.
We're talking about psychological and spiritual protection.
This hurts because, in our minds, it seems absolutely possible to lose a part of something we made up in the first place.
'If they're rude to me, I could lose my confidence.' We say.
But you can't lose something you made up.
This is why there is total freedom in understanding the true nature of the self.
The real self is energy, and it transcends our bodies.
Our self-images are just thoughts layered on top of this underlying creative power and energy.
When we learn to let go of this thin layer of thoughts about who we think we are...
We are no longer servants in fear.
We don't need to seize up in the face of potential criticism anymore.
When you're nervous about meeting a date, for example, you're entertaining a thought pattern about who you think you are that needs emphasising and protecting.
Protection is causing your strain.
It takes work to protect something that isn't real.
Doesn't it?
Work is pressure, which is why we get uptight, nervous, and weird.
So, what's next?
Play with the idea of 'no self.'
Act regardless of your thoughts for now, and you will find things get easier.
This won't happen overnight. It's a process of seeing through new eyes.
Imagine a life without the burden of who you think you are.
Imagine how creative, expressive, and relaxed you'd be without continually needing to prove something to yourself or anyone.
Why would you?
You are dancing energy particles and nothing more.
You would then be allowed to ease off and make mistakes.
Mistakes don't matter to a body brimming with energy, no attached labels and nothing to lose.
This is to glimpse a life without suffering.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
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Four mindset fundamentals I use to feel energised and free
No matter who you are, or what your situation is, let's commit to this year being better than ever.
Let's not settle for unhappy and mediocre.
How?
Keep it simple. Forget habits, resolutions, and goals for now.
What we need is a simple foundation on which to construct the kind of life that is best for us.
Such a grounding begins with how we see ourselves.
We need to see ourselves as determined, healthy, happy people.
If we view ourselves as mince-pie eating, depressed couch potatoes, this will not set us up well for a renewed start.
We need to decide to be the kinds of people who are immersed in - and feel - success for the majority of our days (in whatever way you define 'success').
This is possible when we hold in our heads a clear vision of our best, happy selves (note I didn't say happy 'elves').
To change the way we see ourselves, we need to adopt (re-adopt) a few principal positive modes of thinking.
These four mindsets, when adopted, energise me and lead to successes in other areas.
You can use them as mantras repeated through the day.
Repetition, visualisation, and absorption of these states of mind is the most powerful thing you can do for your self-esteem and personal growth.
These mindsets have been life-changing for me when I remember to make them a part of who I am:
Mindset 1: I am a physical athlete
Movement must fill my days.
I will struggle to be motivated to be active and creative in work and mind if I'm not active in body. Multiple times a day. Every. Day.
Rest is vital, and if you are active, you will know when to rest, because you will be genuinely tired.
Robust, regular exercise leads to clear thinking, feeling good, breathing more deeply, lowered anxiety, and the passion for which you are looking. If you lack movement in your life, you can't be surprised if you lack motivation.
View yourself as an athlete, even if you work in a library. Physical training is not just for sprinters and boxers.
Sweaty daily exercise and regular movement have improved my life more than anything else.
Mindset 2: My body is a well-oiled machine
I eat real, whole food until I am full. More protein and complex carbs. I avoid sugar and refined carbs, but a few treats are fine.
I know that caffeine makes me anxious, so I reduce it and cycle off it often. Smoking is out, and toxins need sweating out regularly.
I no longer pay no heed to what others say you should eat and drink.
I understand how vital it is to have explosive energy each day, and I fill my body with the nutrients needed - those that make me feel alive.
If I need to stop drinking alcohol to feel better, I will, because my energy is everything.
Mindset 3: I am dedicated to improving my value (not my personality)
"Try not to be a man of success. Rather, be a man of value." ~ Einstein
I'm always at my lowest when I take myself too seriously; when I'm doing everything to maintain a flawless personality; when I'm trying to look good in front of others.
All this communicates is subordination and weakness, and it makes me feel awful.
There is no such thing as 'personality.'
Being shy, extroverted, excited, and depressed are only fleeting states. They, therefore, cannot be personalities.
You are you. Multi-layered.
When I believe in personality, I try to protect it, and I cannot take risks. I am nervous. I care about what others might think of me.
The only thing you need to focus on is value and continually upgrading it.
Strive towards building your value in all areas: your skills; your health; your products; your creations; your investments; your ability to lift others up. Focus on being useful and leaving a legacy.
Legacy doesn't require that you are nice to everyone, though everyone deserves a basic level of respect.
It means that you brought value to those that benefit the most from what you do: your tribe; your family.
When we drop the delusion of personality, we start focusing on what's important - becoming great and bringing others up with us who care to join.
Martyrdom, indiscriminate compassion and the pursuit of impressing others will only spread you thin and hollow you out.
Constant work on improving the value you hold for yourself and those that matter to you is what the world needs.
The sensation of becoming useful regardless of how your 'personality' appears to others will energise you.
Mindset 4: I am an optimistic warrior
This mindset has helped me in many instances when I could have otherwise crumpled into a poor, seething victim.
Understand that things can and will be shitty, all around you and with a reliable frequency.
Life will test you and prod you to see how you respond. You will face difficulties with other people, sometimes such that it will seem like your guts have been ripped out.
Nevertheless, maintain a positive, resolute outlook on purpose. Your alternative is being eaten alive.
Prove the Universe wrong and commit to being strong. When it looks like you're about to drive off the cliff, swerve a hard right.
Be cheerful when you don't feel like it. Smile when you're down and be the first to do so when you're around others. Walk when you feel like moping.
Expect pain, struggle, and darkness. It is inevitable, so you might as well hold your head up and laugh like the unapologetic warrior you are.
Your refusal to accept the darkness is what smothers your spirit.
So find that spirit often. It's always there, underneath it all.
Refuse to be weak.
Be the optimistic warrior.
🔆
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10 counterintuitive writing habits that actually make you more creative
(Tactics used by great writers that seem 'wrong' but work)
Most writing advice is predictable: write every day, just show up, outline everything, and edit like you hate yourself.
But take a look at history's most prolific and creative writers, and we see they often ignored conventional wisdom.
Many of them thrived by breaking the rules in ways that seem counterintuitive.
Here's what they can teach us:
1. Stop writing mid-sentence.
"Always stop when you are going good and when you know what will happen next." - Ernest Hemingway
Most writers want to scratch that itch and finish their thought before stopping. But Hemingway did the opposite. By stopping mid-sentence, he ensured that he'd immediately have a direction to continue when he returned to the page.
This avoids writer's block and keeps your momentum flowing.
2. Write before you're fully awake.
"I write when I wake up. I'm not quite awake and that's the perfect time to write." - William Gibson
Writing when your mind is still groggy might seem like a bad idea, but it can be a creative sweet spot.
Your inner critic hasn't fully woken up either, allowing you to tap into raw, uninhibited thoughts. The same can apply to later in the day when you're tired.
Many great writers, including Haruki Murakami, wake up early to write while their minds are still in that dreamlike state.
3. Work on multiple projects at once.
"You never have to stare at a blank page if you have several projects going at once." - Ray Bradbury
Many writers insist on focusing on one project at a time, but Ray Bradbury did it differently.
Having multiple projects means you can switch when one stalls, keeping creativity flowing.
I always have several projects on the go that I switch between. As long as I ultimately finish them all (or most of them), my thoughts stay fresh, and I am motivated. I gave up trying to do one project at a time a long time ago.
This reduces overwhelm and gives your subconscious mind time to solve problems in the background.
4. Walk away when you're stuck.
"The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas - and then throw away the bad ones." - Linus Pauling
Staring at the screen when you're blocked and you just can't seem to make ground only wastes time.
Don't give up immediately. Give it time. But if you're banging your head against a wall, leave the page. Go for a walk, take a shower, do something unrelated.
Many writers, from Nietzsche to Steve Jobs, swore by walking as a way to unlock ideas.
The brain works better when you aren't pressuring yourself to do anything. Come back when your thoughts are more still.
5. Write what you hate to read.
"Write the book you want to read, but can't find." - Toni Morrison
Many writers feel they must love the type of writing they produce.
But frustration can be a powerful fuel.
If you hate the clichés in self-help books, write a better one. My frustration with dryly-written self-help books fueled my Art of Self-Respect book.
Notice what you can't stand reading, and set out to write a kick-ass version you'd pick up in the bookshop.
6. Set a word limit instead of a word goal.
"I never try to write more than I need to. I stop as soon as I've done my day's work." - Graham Greene
Try setting a strict limit instead of aiming for a high word count. For example, limit yourself to 200–300 words per day.
This keeps writing enjoyable and forces you to concentrate on quality over quantity.
Paradoxically, writing less per day often results in greater long-term output because you stay fresh.
7. Edit before you finish the first draft.
"I revise constantly as I go along. I don't wait for a first draft to be done." - Joan Didion
Most advice says, "Write fast, edit later", but some of the greatest writers revise as they go.
I am a big proponent of leaving the editing till later. But this is only advice for those for whom editing early is a hindrance. It may not be.
Didion, Nabokov, and even Hemingway would tweak and refine as they wrote, ensuring the work never became a sprawling mess. This may help you write faster because you're not stuck in endless refinement.
If stopping to edit keeps you engaged, do it.
8. Write by hand before typing.
"When I write with a pen, I am closer to my thoughts." - Neil Gaiman
Writing by hand slows you down. But that's the point.
Studies show that handwriting improves memory, creativity, and deep thinking.
Many writers (including Gaiman and J.K. Rowling) draft by hand before switching to the computer, helping them to better process their ideas.
9. Read outside your usual field.
"If you only read books in your field, you'll never get out of the echo chamber." - Austin Kleon
If you're a novelist, read philosophy. If you're a business writer, read poetry.
Creativity thrives on unexpected connections, and reading widely gives you new metaphors, structures, and ways of thinking that others miss.
I read adventure novels before bed. It helps me be more creative in my non-fiction writing.
Many great writers, like David Foster Wallace, were obsessive readers outside their field.
10. Talk to yourself while writing
"I often talk out loud when I write - it helps me hear the rhythm of my words." - Maya Angelou
Reading your work out loud can reveal awkward phrasing, clunky sentences, and missing transitions.
Some writers, like Angelou, even act out dialogues to make them sound natural. This technique forces you to engage with your text on a different, more interactive level.
How might this improve your non-fiction writing?
Not all of these suggestions may suit you. That's fine. The point here is that rules are there to be broken if alternative routes energise you.
Great writing doesn't come from following cookie-cutter advice. Creativity is often birthed in the illogical.
It comes from experimenting, finding what works for you, and sometimes doing the opposite of what's expected.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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How this small mindset shift can help you earn more money (with drawings)
Making lots of money gets a bad rap these days. People think it's greedy. Rich people are often regarded with scorn.
Many say it's really hard to make lots of it...
With bills to pay and dreams to catch, a part of you wants more of it.
Lots of it.
I certainly do.
You look around, and see that we live in a society that gets you things when you have money to give.
We live in an economic world. This simply needs to be accepted...
Money enables your own survival. It can buy you stuff to enjoy.
But it can also buy you more time, unique experiences, and it can be used to change the world for the better...
Whether it is used for good or bad, money is undeniably useful.
If we use money to improve ourselves and the world around us, does it need to be viewed as a bad thing?
I want to make plenty of money, but I know that I wouldn't be happy if I wasn't going to use it for good things - for amazing things.
If money can be used for great good, why can't earning and spending even more of it be a good thing?
We're talking big money here. Is a ton of money a bad thing if it used to explore and learn, support our families, improve the environment and bring more beauty into the world?
If we are to make good money, we need to view it as a good thing.
I like to think of money as a note of thanks for providing value to someone who needs it...
Maybe we think money is bad because people who have given up on their own dreams and want to keep us down, don't want us to have money for ourselves?
If we drop the negative associations we have of money and see it as inherently good and honest when in the right hands (i.e. Yours), we are mentally free to make as much of it as we want.
My view is that money won't make you happy, but being broke won't either, so you might as well make more of it.
It's worth also noting, that money does not come to those who take it too seriously. Those who make lots of it, see it as a game. They view things abundantly, and they are not in awe of money.
Whenever I've taken making money seriously and worried too much about losing it, it becomes more elusive to me.
If I take money for what it is, a simple note of thanks in exchange for my own value, I cannot be in awe of it.
I see it as a way of helping myself through understanding and helping others.
And so, making money can become enjoyable, rather than something that is above you and scary.
If we view it this way, maybe money can make us happy after all?
To tie this all together:
To make money, we need to change our thinking from...
This thinking puts our attention on ourselves at the expense of benefitting others. It is win/lose.
And start thinking more like this...
This is correct money-making thinking. We now think in terms of money as a means to benefit others and ourselves: win/win.
Bonus
For aspiring millionaires and billionaires, ask:
What do I need to do to improve the lives of millions of people who would pay to thank me?
🔆
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How to use fear to live a better life
Fear always struck me as something to avoid.
I learned over the years that fear created a false sense of what was worth doing and what should be avoided.
I believed scary things were the Universe telling me to cut and run.
But I always felt bad - felt it in my gut - that avoidance didn't always feel right.
When I spent too long steering clear of things that made me a bit nervous, I always felt stagnant, a little hollow.
I'm not here to shower you with the same old trope: do the things you fear because that's where you'll find growth.
But there is truth to it.
Here's how to work with fear for a better life:
Learn to distinguish between something that feels instinctually not right and something that could be re-interpreted as exciting. It's the latter that gives you signs of where to go.
What things simultaneously excite you while poking you with a bit of fear? Do more of those things.
Understand that fear is showing you what you care about. You want to get it right. Perhaps it isn't to avoid but to explore more of, in small steps if needed.
What have you been avoiding that you know would be good for you? Find the courage to do more of those things. Know that you need this. Take the tiniest of steps. When you face those fears head-on, you'll see they aren't things to fear at all.
Everything changed when I began to see fear as a source of new horizons.
Instead of planning around fear, I worked it back into the plan, and a buzzing life returned.
It isn't always easy to step up to this level.
But this is where your greatest rewards are hiding.
🔆
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Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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"subtitle": "Fear always struck me as something to avoid.",
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"content": "When you’re overwhelmed…",
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When you're overwhelmed...
You're overwhelmed,
With all the things you have to do.
Your mind is spinning on all that can be done,
And all the reasons you cannot.
Molasses oozes through the spokes,
Slowing you to a halt.
Your fear sits on you, like an enormous, furry swine,
Holding you down till your ribs turn in.
Flashes of failures;
Visions of defeat.
On your knees, face to the imposing night, you sob:
'Why does life have to be so hard to me?'
The moon swerves, stars crackle, and the night responds:
'You want the world, and you can have the world,
But, first, look at what is right in front of you.'
You breathe a sigh because you missed what was most simple.
The answers were never out of reach.
They were in your hands all along,
And all you had to do was make the first step.
All a god ever did was what he could that very moment,
And yet you view yourself superior?
The seed, well cared-for, will create a tree higher than a house.
The simplest step taken right now will take you to the summits of the highest mountains.
One stroke will get you across oceans.
So you rise to your feet, and you thank the night,
Turning back to face the dawn.
You find yourself alone on a vast plain,
And you ask yourself a question.
What matters the most to me,
And what will be the next small step?
🔆
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e4c12b0d9463
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"content": "This small change will help you get 10x better at reaching your goals",
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This small change will help you get 10x better at reaching your goals
If I had a magic ingredient that allowed you to reach all your goals, would you read on?
If I knew exactly why we ALL fail to see things through to completion and fruition, would you perk up and take note?
Well, I may be able to shed some light on the matter.
(I know, I am seriously cool by saying this).
We set our sights on something we'd love to make happen.
Maybe you had an insight while scrubbing your behind in the shower, and you thought that it would be so cool to write a novel featuring telepathic mountain lions.
Or maybe the idea to start and grow a thriving gardening business has been growing on you gradually (you see what I did there?).
The trouble for many of us is this:
First, we set our sights on creating things.
We might even be bold enough to set a goal.
A GOAL!
Some time goes on, and you find yourself drifting. There are lots of attractive things you could do coming at you from left and right.
Maybe that thing over there is better.
Maybe other life challenges and screaming children are getting in the way - fogging the once crystal clear, bright technicolour goal you'd set for yourself.
The goal is now nothing more than a scribble on a calendar somewhere.
At this point, I might tap your shoulder while you're busy chopping carrots and say:
'Hey Jason, what happened to that tulip-growing business you were going to build, buddy?'
You give me a sheepish grin, put down the knife, and say:
'Well - cough - I...I...er...well, how would I do it?'
HOW would I do it? How would I get customers? How would I plant the seeds and ensure they grew into flourishing tulips?
You're asking the wrong question.
It's not about HOW.
It really is about the degree to which you WANT to do the thing.
Your desire.
I know this because I have failed a lot and the common thread that appeared whenever I actually made things happen was that it came out of WANTING to do it.
Day after day after day.
We need to want things intensely enough for us to see them through to fruition and completion.
If the WANT is big enough, the HOW can be figured out. We have Google. We have ALL the damn information.
So we need to stay interested. That's the thing.
We must stay in the game - focused, attentive, obsessed even - on the thing we set out to do.
But how do we stay WANTING?
We create the wanting from inside us. Yes, we do.
We create it. It doesn't come knocking at the door dressed in a tuxedo.
We create our desire from scratch every single day.
We can do this. But many of us fail to see this in us. We doubt our own ability, and we drop to the next thing.
Be different.
Decide on something exciting. Create your commitment to committing. Renew your desire day after day. You can.
Write down the commitment each day.
Stay in the game.
And thank me later, ;).
—
For the video version:
🔆
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"content": "Thirty 7-day challenges that will energise you",
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Thirty 7-day challenges that will energise you
Can you challenge yourself?
We know the importance of habits.
We know that successful habits create successful people when they are brought into everyday action. We are what we repeatedly do.
But they are hard to keep, especially when we get overwhelmed by the idea of changing for good.
Don't forget the power of small changes, and little challenges. Give yourself a taste of life as someone who can hold their shit together in something.
Small hurdles are little spring-boards to massive rewards.
Take the small win(s) of a seven-day challenge. Seven days will not change your life, but it will demonstrate to you that you can.
And that is where you start. Add other wins. Expand on those wins. Try the twenty-day version. Then keep going.
Change your actions one step at a time.
Change your beliefs about yourself by showing that you can change, no matter how small the work, and do it with your full support.
Abstaining from many of the following means breaking your addiction to dopamine.
Most of us are addicted to unnatural sources of dopamine rushes. This means we become ever more unreceptive to lower levels of natural stimulation, like the wonders and beauty of the world around us.
We are literally making ourselves numb to reality. Taking a break, even for a week, can be hugely beneficial to our well-being.
Do one of these (or more than one), for seven days. Show yourself that you have self-control and give your mind and body a break.
Remember: Every day for seven days...
No alcohol
No video games
No videos, films or TV
No Internet
Something - anything - that scares you.
Plan your day in advance
No smartphone
No complaining - both internal monologue or verbal
10 minutes of meditation/reflection/self-love awareness
20 minutes of weights in the gym
Write 500 words towards a novel
Learn a new skill
No social media
No gluten (at the very least, see what experimenting with limiting certain types of food does for your body and mood)
Email or call five people every day with the purpose of adding a new connection to your network.
No porn/masturbation
No caffeine
Cold showers (I know, I said I wouldn't go there, but I did!)
Eat one meal a day (23-hour fasts with large, fat and protein-heavy meals, in my opinion - I am not liable for any medical issues incurred)
No smoking, including vaping
Starting a conversation with strangers
No sugar
Asking strangers for directions (social confidence for those who have an unnecessary social phobia)
20 minutes of cardio exercise
a 30-minute walk
No negative thoughts
Go somewhere you would usually avoid
Write a short article
Record yourself on video and share it
Add content to Instagram or social media
Read ten more pages than you would normally
Paint or draw a picture
Action: Choose one, mark it in the diary, and start today.
You are not obliged to go beyond the seven days, but, who knows, maybe you'll have the momentum to do so, and I hope (for many of these), you will.
When you've done your seven days, write to me and tell me how it went. I'd love to hear from you by email, or in the comments below.
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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"content": "What Goosebumps novels teach us about thriving in the age of AI",
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What Goosebumps novels teach us about thriving in the age of AI
I used to love reading the Goosebumps horror novels.
Years later, I watched a Masterclass course with Goosebumps writer R.L. Stine teaching writing for children.
I was fascinated by his approach and business of writing hundreds of short books and becoming one of the world's wealthiest novelists (selling over 400 million books).
R.L. Stine's output was one or even two books per month at one point when he was younger.
Today, I learned that he uses ghostwriters to help him write more books and add even more income from his books. James Patterson does the same.
Some people get angry by this.
So, what's this got to do with AI?
Let's face it. AI is an unbelievable tool. It helps us just like an assistant would.
Like using a ghostwriter to help you write more books, AI can help us expand our output.
R.L. Stine can use outside support to make more books and build even more wealth because he's well-known. He has fans.
Unknown writers who use AI or ghostwriters to write their stuff remain unknown. In fact, they become even more unknown because their writing has become even more devoid of personality.
Unknown and faceless writers who depend on AI will only contribute to a sea of other AI writers.
This is why your personal brand is so important.
R.L. Stine and James Patterson have strong personal brands.
People have grown to love them and their stories over the years.
They built a huge following. So they get away with using ghostwriters because people will buy their books regardless.
And that's the key factor here that will ensure you'll benefit from the rise in AI rather than be ground into the dirt.
Use AI for support, sure, but focus on sharing yourself and your unique story too.
You're not just creating content. Everyone else is.
You're creating the story of you.
You're building an image of YOU.
You're becoming likeable to the people who count.
People gravitate to people, not content.
Bear this in mind as you make a dent in the world. Build your brand - then you will have whatever you want.
This starts by publishing your ideas and stories (and personality) consistently.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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"content": "Eight things you must avoid to join the top 1% most productive people on Earth",
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Eight things you must avoid to join the top 1% most productive people on Earth
Every self-driven creator I meet wants to be more productive.
They say, 'Hey Alex, I wish I had a clone. How can I find one?'
I look them dead in the eye and say, 'You'll need to wait 14 years before your clone arrives.'
So while you wait for RoboBoy to arrive in the post, here are the things you need to avoid if you want to find genuine ways to amplify your output.
1. Being everyone's dancing monkey (like seriously, Martin. Stop it).
Every DM, every "quick call," every "Can I pick your brain?" - they all diminish you if left unchecked.
Don't be the yes man to everyone and his kindly grandmother.
You're on a freaking life mission, and this means honouring it so the whole world benefits.
Be ruthless in what you say no to. If this means someone gets disappointed, just remember, you're giving them something they need by protecting your own energy.
2. Continual snacking.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again
You're not a heffalump.
Every gulp of wheaty shite slows you.
You're unmotivated, not because you're 'a lazy kinda guy,' but because you eat too many insulin-spiking carbs through the day.
Eat plenty, but be biased to protein and eating less often.
Productivity explosion will ensue...
3. Hoarding digital dead weight.
I'm big on collecting ideas. Heck, I'm okay with accumulating a fair amount of half-finished posts.
It's part of the creative process.
However, don't be the guy who gets his sense of achievement from his ever-growing, unfinished content graveyard.
You need to swing the balance back towards actually finishing most of the shit you start. Either finish or delete.
Otherwise it's just trash that drains your energy (and your hard drive).
4. Riding the dopamine carousel.
I know the juicy gems of online scrolling are hard to ignore, but you need to dig deep.
Every minute spent in consumption uses up precious willpower. Your life will come to an end and you'll still be sitting there on the toilet surfing waves in the Metaverse.
Your dopamine receptors are getting fried when you need them for fueling your sense of motivation for creating things.
Track your screen time, and make a commitment today to create more than you consume.
5. Sitting still for more than 40 minutes at a time.
I know you don't want to break that flow and your knees have been creaking recently.
But deep inside your inner psyche your creativity is calling out for help.
It says, 'Meep meep! Wake up! I can help you brosef!'
It needs you to stand up, walk around and look at the sky.
Taking little rests will fuel you, so you're more effective longer term.
6. Treating time like it's endless.
Nathan from accounts says there are only 1,827 Wednesdays left.
And the guy's right. Life isn't that long, so stop treating it like time is an infinite resource.
We do this mainly because everyone else shuffles around like they've lost all hope. But they're not you.
You're an enthused being with the spark still in you. Remind yourself today of the beautiful shortness of life.
Turn away from life as a languid stretch and focus on every lucid inch.
7. Death by democracy.
Every decision you make doesn't need to be run past nine people.
Your life isn't a committee meeting.
For most things, you only need your own permission. And if it feels a bit awkward, good.
You're likely moving in a direction that's stretching you. Move faster. Stop waiting around for approval.
Act now and ask for forgiveness later.
8. Falling for the 'more is more' myth.
You don't need 12 revenue streams by Tuesday.
I lost years trying to please everyone with every little aspect of what I thought I could do. I just watered myself down and my energy drained.
The real money is in doing one thing so well that it makes people's jaws drop.
What could you become so good at no one could ignore you?
Dedicate yourself to this for at least the next three months.
Alex
🔆
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"content": "How to replace boredom with aliveness quickly and naturally…",
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How to replace boredom with aliveness quickly and naturally...
That feeling.
I can't quite pinpoint what it is.
A hollowness maybe. Boredom of some kind.
A heaviness in my abdominals.
Sort of like I don't want to be here.
A kind of denial of the present.
Fidgety. Unable to do the work. Even though I know what to do.
Is it a need to escape?
Is my body telling me to up and leave? Go travelling somewhere?
Maybe I need to feel the wind in my hair on some Swiss mountainside, the sun gently nourishing my skin.
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
This feeling of boredom is sometimes a sign that we're not stretching ourselves enough. It could be that we're too comfortable.
In which case, yes, travel might be a solution.
But in most cases, travel - or 'escape' is actually a diversion. It is not the root of the 'problem.'
When I am uncomfortable in the right here, right now; when I feel this inexplicable undercurrent of dissatisfaction with the way things are, the reason is almost always the same.
I am not in my body.
Thought has polluted me.
This happens a lot in my job as a writer. Through continual thinking, I often forget to take a moment to return to my physical senses.
It's why I always feel better after exercise.
Overthinking inevitably means I am ignoring bodily sensation. I am somewhere else.
It is not more stimulation we need when we're bored.
It is physical expression; movement; play, but, ultimately, awareness.
We have not given enough attention to the body. Thinking has so far stolen the show.
And so the body speaks to me in the best way it can.
It is saying:
'Hey partner, look I am here. Are you listening? Where are you? Hellooooo? I'm turning to stone here!'
It's like a voice beyond a dream.
Your time in the future or the past is blinding you to what is with you, here, now.
That is why I feel stuck.
What I do in these moments:
Drop my shoulders.
Walk or exercise.
Focus on my breathing and body.
Find bliss in sensation.
Notice the tiniest details in things; also external things.
Focus meditation.
Feel and revel in stillness; the gaps between things; the pauses in sound.
Where are they?
What do they look like?
Feel your soul re-awakening.
This is where creativity and aliveness emerge.
🔆
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[
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"content": "When you want to do everything, do this",
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When you want to do everything, do this
A big struggle of mine has always been the need to do many different things.
There is so much to keep us busy in this crazy world that can drag us in many directions.
The problem with this is that it's easy to lose focus. We end up doing less of more.
We distract ourselves with the other things we want to do and work on. We become Jacks of All Trades, which is okay, but this can be at the expense of being a master at something and getting ahead and standing out in something specific.
Doing many different things can also mean losing faith in our projects and giving up altogether if we don't see the progress we were hoping.
It is hard to totally cut out stuff from our lives if we simply must do them.
So, what are some ideas for getting ahead and succeeding while still being able to juggle a few other tennis balls?
Here are some ideas:
Have a main dish, with side dishes
I like to work on a few things at a time, but I make sure that I spend most of my time on one key thing, which is my main dish. 75% of my (work/career-related) time and energy is put towards my main dish.
This allows me to stay focused on one thing, develop a craft and build something worthwhile.
I will then dedicate about 25% of my time and energy to what I call side dishes: extra projects and hobbies.
Side dishes can move around and be replaced, but I also ensure there is something fundamental that I'm spending my time on over the year: the main dish.
If you can't figure out what your main dish should be at this stage, don't worry; most people don't.
All you need to do is decide, and you will know over time what is worth more of your time over what is not. You would then adapt accordingly, bearing in mind that projects can take a long time to be fruitful, so stay with them.
Become a Micro-Master
If you, like me, like to try out new things but don't have the time to go deep with any of them (except, of course, your main dish), then explore how you can develop mastery in a tiny, niche part of what you're interested in.
For example, you could start by getting good at cooking an omelette if you want to get into cooking; or learning 'just' the characters in Japanese (I'm currently learning Thai characters - trying my best anyway).
This means you gain the sense of accomplishment; you can stack little 'wins,' and impress your friends without devoting half your life to each thing at the 'macro' level.
Read Robert Twigger's book: 'MicroMastery' for more ideas.
Use Time Blocks
Unless you're supremely focused or some ninja monk, you probably work on more than one thing in the day. The trouble is it can often be random and disorganised.
Structure your days into time blocks, where you give yourself distinct time periods that are dedicated to certain activities.
You need to be strict with these time blocks, but you will find that you will be more capable of getting a variety of things done properly than if you had meandered through the day.
If you spend 75% of your time on your main dish and 25% on your side projects, mark time out for these specific activities so that your day reflects this.
It helps to keep track of the amount of time spent on each activity and to know roughly how much time I want to spend on each.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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"content": "No one cares as much as you think.",
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No one cares as much as you think.
No one really gives a s#it.
Your greatest hurdle right now is thinking that other people might judge you. It stops you showing up in any form.
I can't tell you how much of my life has been spent worrying about what others think of me.
It has often stopped me doing things I could have done had I not felt this.
But here's the secret: When people judge you, they are always judging themselves.
The need to put you down only comes from a place of insecurity.
Because that way, there is a perceived gap in 'status' that makes them feel elevated.
But status is an illusion.
Their focus is on themselves, never on you. No one with any true connection to themselves has a need to criticise harshly.
Understanding this sets you free. No one is really concerned about you.
Don't fall for it.
Don't feel bad about it.
It's a good thing. They are far, far more concerned about themselves.
They are distracted by themselves.
And you are here to make others feel better.
It was never about you anyway.
If you're worried about others...
Turn your attention away from yourself.
You will feel instant relief.
You are free this way. Live to express this truth.
No one has the power to diminish you or make you feel weird.
Only your thoughts have any semblance of that power, and those can be flicked off like a fly on your shoulder.
Play the game like you can't be touched.
Learn this about yourself. That it is possible.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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"content": "This is the only obsession worth having (and it isn’t to be liked)",
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This is the only obsession worth having (and it isn't to be liked)
We get frustrated because we aren't progressing as we had planned.
We aren't there with the traction we hoped we'd be getting with all this work we're putting in.
We're not getting enough of them dratted likes, follows, pings, pokes, thumbs ups, and subscribes.
And little Johnny Genius over on YouTube seems to be getting all the views, which makes it worse.
Receiving less validation for what we're doing makes us doubt ourselves.
With less confidence, how can we be expected to be inspired to keep going?
It sure is a tough racket out there.
Let's talk for a second about obsession and how understanding it can help you.
The word 'obsession' often brings with it somewhat negative connotations.
We imagine the 'sweaty-bespectacled-man-staring-out-at-his-sexy-neighbour' kind of obsessed.
Obsession, done right, is vital. Obsession in the right place is our salvation.
Not one of us is NOT obsessed with something.
Just before we popped out of the womb, a hidden force imbued us with a dark, mysterious power that is operating in us continually.
It is there to bring energy, focus, and determination to things that are important to us.
This is the power of obsession, and we all have it.
We may divide its focus toward several things like a scattered laser beam. Or we may direct it to places that do not serve us, including harmful addictions - a misuse of this dark power.
We can be obsessed with worrying thoughts. Infatuated with a member of the opposite sex.
Enamoured with getting validation on Instagram.
Addicted to drugs; porn; gaming; partying; tv. Enraptured by the idea of being liked by other people.
The surging energy of addiction; of infatuation; of obsession, is within all of us.
We just need to direct the bulk of it to the places that serve us the best.
The psychobabble of purpose and passion that we hear all the time are other ways of interpreting the idea of obsession, except that passion is fleeting, and obsession is for the long-term.
The idea of obsession reveals the most significant difference between the winners and the sufferers of the world:
Winners, whether conscious of it or not, are obsessed with growing themselves and their value.
Sufferers are obsessed with everything else, namely getting validation from others.
This is where I believe most of the unhappiness we see in the Western world lies.
Some validation is important. We need to know if we're on the right track. But if you find yourself consistently depressed at how little others are validating you, you must turn the attention of your inbuilt, natural obsession with becoming best kind of person you can be.
This is an on-going process that will never end.
Pour your energy into becoming increasingly more valuable in all areas of life. That is where the joy of living lies.
Work-wise, this might mean mastering something particular over time. It can also mean joining several interests into a hybrid red-hot point of value that people need.
"The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways." ― Robert Greene, Mastery
In many cases, it might mean having to get strict about what you choose to focus your time and effort towards, and what you will need to drop to make the former possible.
In any case, when you're focused on bettering yourself, you are forced to get conscious of how best to accumulate value into a mighty, influential mass that the people who matter to you need.
How can you become so good at something that you sizzle someone's skin off when they try and touch you?
This pursuit must become your new obsession. Desperately looking for approval will become a lesser priority when you do this anyway.
By seeking admiration, you are basing your self-worth on the approval of others, and that is a very flimsy position to be in.
As Einstein said:
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
What are you obsessed about? Share in the comments.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Read this right now if you're stressed...
Realise that worrying won't help, even if it feels like you have more control over life.
You don't. You really don't. And this is good.
A relief for all of us, friend. When we stop worrying, we give space for fresh wisdom to emerge effortlessly.
Take three slow, long shallow breaths through your nose.
See the secret beauty in being ok with uncertainty. Psst. No one knows what they're doing.
They may say they do, but they're as in the dark as you are. I'm not kidding. The future doesn't exist, and as humans, we wish it did, but it doesn't. And that's ok.
Trying to pre-plan everything is destroying you. Stop. Be ok with not knowing.
Chuckle to yourself at the futility of wishing things were different. You can't change what can't be changed, so why do you presume to have magical powers no one else has?
Your magic is in letting go of your wishes and taking the tiniest, most obvious step right now.
That's all we ask of you (me anyway).
Think of three things you're proud of. What did you do this year that took courage?
Good. Good for you. We're proud of you, even if we didn't say it out loud.
Drop your shoulders and allow a subtle smile to ease through.
Understand this: stress is man-made.
It is a label; a concept. You made it up. You're not 'stressed.'
You're feeling the buzz of energy that arises when you think scary thoughts. That's your doing. Do you see that? Your thoughts have such power that they literally create your emotions and your reality. You don't even need to think positive.
That's a waste of energy, and makes you more self-conscious. Just relax and let go to what's in front of you.
Do it now. Look around you. See how everything is fresh, without critical judgement.
That's a good thing.
You're creating everything.
Write down your top three 'causes' of stress. Then write down the one best solution that applies to each.
Good. For each solution write down one, next tiny step towards handling it. Now your stress is on paper, out of mind. And you know what to do next.
Sit for a moment, and watch all the sensations arising in your body now. Feel the tightness in your chest or the pressure in your belly.
Observe it openly and do it until you feel a shift. As you watch, you may see the pressure easing. The sensation replaced with a tingling. Your awareness is like a bright torch - one that can melt away strain.
It's at your disposal, whenever you need it.
Lastly, I want you to try this one thing today:
Find someone, anyone, and thank them. Don't do it with any expectation attached. Just be thankful for another human.
To take the lead,
To connect,
To forget about you:
That's the ultimate cure for 'stress.'
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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"content": "What crusade are you fighting?",
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What crusade are you fighting?
It took me writing and publishing hundreds of articles online before anyone took much notice.
I wanted to quit a hundred times.
But I continued to write and publish into the dark void of the Internet because:
I wanted to get better as a writer.
I wanted to use writing to formulate my ideas better as a communicator.
Regardless of whether people listened, I had stuff to say because it made me feel better.
I was focused on mastering the craft of writing and human psychology.
After a decade of online writing, I realised:
If you want to succeed in public, you must be willing to fail in public.
This kept me going most of all.
Because this isn't just about writing.
Nor is this about sitting within your comfort zone like a sitting ducky.
It's about seeing what we're made of.
As I grew, and I was better able to withstand the pain of flopped posts, my writing improved.
Because writing improves as your character evolves.
You're unstoppable when you combine strength of character with a solid grasp of what smacks people in the face with beauty and realism.
The same applies to showing up and sharing anything.
Making a stand for what you really believe in is a crusade.
Why hide?
Get out there and tell us what you really mean.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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[
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"content": "Don’t confuse things that make you uncomfortable with things you should avoid",
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Don't confuse things that make you uncomfortable with things you should avoid
There's this interesting thing people do - often as they get older.
Not all of us, but you see it in many.
We close doors to things in an attempt to simplify our lives.
We say, 'I'm not going to go to conferences anymore.'
Door closed.
'I'm not going to hot countries any more.'
Door closed.
'I won't go to dinner parties anymore. They're silly.'
Another life thing closed.
But really, we're doing it because those things make us uncomfortable.
And it's not even that.
We do it because our thoughts about those things make us uncomfortable.
Challenging life events can often do this to us too.
Maybe you once had an unpleasant experience on a flight. You think about the event, and your visions about the turbulent journey make you feel uncomfortable.
You feel it as a mini-implosion in your chest and a warming of the cheeks.
So you want to live a life with less discomfort.
So you close doors.
'No more flights for me.'
How clever you are.
But here's the thing.
You saying NO to things that scare you limits you.
Doing this drains the colour from your life.
Doing this makes your world literally smaller.
If there's one thing I've learned about living an alive life - it's knowing you can be free to wander the gloomy corridors of the world, even if you feel a bit icky.
You're free to roam. You haven't denied your ability to explore. You can talk to whomever you like and go where you want to go.
At least in most places.
You're a wild adventure person.
This is living.
The more doors we close, the more restricted we make ourselves - both physically and psychologically.
The things we fear are almost always indicators:
They show us how to spark aliveness in us.
Scared to travel?
You must go, even if it starts with a walk to the local river.
Age is no reason to close doors.
We can always take small steps towards our fears, with our fears, in the arms of our fears.
When we begin to move and look directly and lucidly at the thing we fear...
We realise it was our greatest ally.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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[
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"content": "Four subtle ‘super habits’ of mentally calm people",
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Four subtle 'super habits' of mentally calm people
One of the big lessons I learned after years and years of anxiety and personal insecurities was the power of habits.
Doing things repeatedly always leaves a groove.
Habits aren't just for physical health and business growth.
Mental strength and the resulting experience of more calm result from healthy psychological 'super habits.'
Here are a few:
1. Not buying into thoughts.
The most uptight people I know never received the memo that we needn't believe (buy into) our thoughts.
Thoughts are illusions at best.
They are suggestions and approximations intended to help us make sense of our world.
Too many of us see them as some kind of matter-of-fact gospel.
They never were.
Your stressful thoughts don't need to be taken seriously.
All there is is the calming beauty of the present moment.
2. Being conscious of incoming artificial dopamine spikers.
We need to be careful with things that unnaturally spike dopamine (our motivation hormone), like refined sugar and video games.
When we continually flood ourselves with cheap hits of this stuff, we lose our motivation and joy for natural inputs like walks and creativity.
It's simply easier to feel good vibes more of the time when we're not jacked up on artificial stimuli.
3. Are totally willing to have imperfect information.
One of the best sources of fear and stress comes from many of us wanting to know what the future will hold.
We get stressed because if we don't know, we can't possibly avoid all the mistakes we're deathly scared to make. This comes out of insecurity. Relaxed people are tolerant of uncertainty.
They are OK with not having all the facts.
They have faith that their innate intelligence will be there for them when they need it.
It always shows up.
4. Nurture a preference for lucidity.
A common trait in worriers, depressed people, scaredy cats, addicts, and Doubting Debbies is a preference for escape.
They reject the reality of the present.
They figured a suitable coping strategy for the struggles of life was to get on outta there, sharpish.
They do this by hitching a ride on the magic carpets of thought, no matter how prickly.
They may also chug back a few beers daily to numb the hurt.
But the solution isn't to run.
It's to look directly at the thing you fear and, in doing so, sense an immediate fading of the 'terror' right then and there.
This is a practice. It's a habit.
To return to what's really really there, more often, more of the time.
To let go when you want to rage.
To be there with us.
Seeing things for what they are in full technicolour lucidity is your salvation.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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[
{
"content": "Nine unexpected habits that make people want to listen to you",
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Nine unexpected habits that make people want to listen to you
I've noticed something interesting about the people others actually listen to.
They don't do what most people think they should do to be heard.
Through years of observation as a personal coach and my own awkward attempts to be heard, I've learned what works.
1. Talk less than you think you should.
Most people talk too much because they're afraid of being ignored or considered dumb.
But the more you talk, the less weight your words carry.
Be the one who speaks only when you have something to say. Your silence builds anticipation.
2. Drop the act.
If you don't know, be willing to say you don't.
People are far more likely to listen to a human than an 'expert.'
You don't lose if you admit your gaps. You attract twice as much.
3. Let silence do the talking.
I know what it's like to feel uncomfortable with silence.
That squirmy feeling that makes you want to talk about the weather.
When you make a point, let it hang there. Don't rush to fill the space.
The ones who can sit comfortably in silence after speaking are the ones who command attention.
4. Say the uncomfortable thing.
Look around you. Most people are playing it safe, saying what they think they should say.
It's becoming seemingly impossible because everyone's terrified of being cancelled.
When you dare to say what everyone's thinking but won't say, people will swarm to you like gnats to a lantern on a porch.
5. Break your own rules sometimes.
Notice how many people stick rigidly to formulas and scripts.
But those to whom people are drawn are comfortable going off-script. They'll sometimes interrupt their own point to share a contradictory thought.
This unpredictability (and humanity) makes people lean in.
6. Let others be wrong.
Most people can't resist correcting others when they hear something wrong.
They jump in with "actually..." and kill the conversation dead.
Those who command real attention let others be wrong sometimes.
They know not every mistake needs fixing.
7. Speak from scars, not wounds.
I see people sharing raw, unprocessed stuff all the time, thinking it makes them more relatable.
But here's what I've noticed: people listen more to those who've processed and moved on from tough experiences.
Share what you've learned from pain, not pain that's still burning.
8. Have the guts to say it firmly.
Most people speak like they're missing a backbone.
Their words are bubble wrapped, with a tendency to protect their butts with various uses of the phrase: 'kind of.'
They water down their message, trying to make it safer.
But those who command attention have the courage to say it with conviction, even if it feels risky.
9. Care less about being heard.
I know it sounds backward. But this is the biggest secret of all.
The moment you stop trying so hard to be heard is often the moment people start listening.
This doesn't mean you stop sharing. You just speak with sincerity rather than from a need to be validated. And you don't rush, waving your arms around trying to be seen.
Drop the deep-rooted need. Speak because you have something to say, not because you need to be heard.
Being listened to isn't about speaking louder or knowing more.
It's about being comfortable enough with yourself to stop performing and start being honest.
🔆
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Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Nine subtle things that block you from being fully productive
We can develop habits that become concrete, but that hold us back without us realising it.
Here are some things to be aware of that might be creating bottlenecks in your performance and resulting productivity:
1. Leaving too much time for completion.
Parkinson's Law states 'work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion.'
If we're loose with how much time we give to a task, we can be sure we'll lean towards spending more time on it than needed. This is inherently unproductive.
To counter this, create distraction-free time blocks dedicated to specific tasks.
Time yourself using the Pomodoro technique to take it a step further.
2. Lack of motion.
Our state of physical health and how oxygenised we are is closely linked to our performance.
If we're too sedentary and don't, for example, go on our morning walk before work, we are disadvantaged.
Get your blood flowing.
Work out, develop an elite physique, and move regularly - not only because you want to look good but because you want to perform better.
3. Not breaking up tasks.
I can easily forget to take short breaks between writing stints.
I often find myself stubbornly glued to the screen doing aimless work because I can't be bothered to get up and stretch.
When I remember to take a break every 40 minutes or so, I am more energised.
I optimise my time much more effectively.
4. Self-doubt.
Many of us hold back because we're overthinking what we believe we lack.
Maybe we've just been scrolling Instagram and can't shake off the frustration from comparing our success to someone 'miles ahead.'
It's normal, but it destroys our performance.
We must forget about others and put blinders on. Forget about 'self-belief.'
Just take a tiny step.
This puts you in momentum.
5. Blood sugar crashes.
You ever get sleepy after lunch and can barely get anything done for long stretches?
That's low blood sugar at play.
If you eat high glycemic foods like white rice, pancakes and toast, you will get an insulin spike, followed by a crash in blood sugar.
This means a low mood and sluggish mind. Not exactly conducive to sharp, productive work. Avoid those foods.
6. Notifications and immediate distractions.
It's insane how easy it is to allow apps and the Internet to disrupt our flow. And yet we allow it.
All we need to do is hide our phones, put everything on silent, and block the Internet.
You know what happens otherwise, so cut it out.
You must take your work seriously. You can lose hours of every day to distractions.
Be ruthless.
7. Switching tasks.
It's a known fact that our brains take time to adjust to doing particular types of tasks.
Cooking is a different kind of activity to writing and taking calls. Because of this latency in how the brain adapts, it requires more energy when we have to switch tasks.
To reduce energy lost in this way, we're much more effective when we batch the same tasks together.
More brain power; more productive output.
8. Dopamine abuse.
We all have access to unnatural sources that stimulate our dopamine, giving us an artificial 'high.'
This could be from video games, drugs, porn, sugar, or binging tv shows.
We need to be sparing with these stimulants because they wear down our dopamine receptors.
We then become more numb to things that are supposed to easily stimulate good feelings, like smelling a flower, real sex, and being motivated to work.
9. Mistake avoidance.
A sure way to kill your motivation is your concern about making a mistake and 'looking bad.'
Anything that involves avoidance is inherently self-conscious.
When we're overly concerned about how we're doing something and what we need to NOT do, guess what? We perform terribly, or we skip the thing entirely.
Being productive with the things that matter requires us to be free, loose and in the moment.
It's not always easy, and this might be something to work yourself into through small steps.
Be easy on yourself, your productivity will increase, and you will be surprised at what you can do.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Understand these seven things if you're tired of feeling ashamed about your life choices
Decades on this jolly little planet have shown me that I'm just not very conventional.
I've never followed the expected path, and I feel like a rat in jelly when I slide closer to conformity. I've always felt different, weird and even a potential source of discomfort for many.
I haven't had a 'proper' job in over 15 years. I've spent more time living abroad than in my home country. I don't party, have no interest in politics, prefer to be single, and want to spend the rest of my life writing books, making art, and running my off-grid homestead.
It has taken me a long time to reach a point where I feel more at ease with how I choose to live my life (and I'm still working on it).
I'm not here to condone making terrible, regrettable, and reckless life decisions.
But I am here to send some comfort in how you view yourself and your preferences in a society that wants us all the same...
Tending to your needs and desires first is not selfish.
So many of us make personal happiness impossible because we view everything through the judging eyes of our neighbours.
'I'm selfish if I put myself first.'
Not true. In fact, you're an idiot if you don't, and you're actually selfish.
If you allow your vibrance to be diminished by serving others at the expense of your joy, you're less effective. You're a husk. The world loses out when more of its citizens are unhappy.
You must understand what drives you and follow that.
We all have different personalities and styles. What one person values highly, another person does not. And so you want to make sure you know yourself as well as possible.
If you continually feel shame, it may be time to self-reflect.
This means reminding yourself about what brings you to life and what angers you. It's about identifying your deepest fears and your frequently-entertained desires.
What would you most regret having missed when on your deathbed?
These are the things to focus on.
And yes, sometimes, in the interest of paying the bills, we can't always be working on our passions directly, but you are doing what needs to be done first, so you can get there. In this regard, all you do is move you towards your greatest drives.
You must navigate your life according to your own interests and passions - not someone else's. This starts with understanding yourself and using past experiences to determine what makes you uniquely you.
Once you know more about yourself, you can set more authentic objectives for yourself. You can take action with less shame and a sense of pride and ownership...
Because you're doing what you are supposed to do.
If others criticise you, they are projecting.
Tell me this - why would someone choose to criticise you if they felt entirely adequate and happy in themselves?
They bring others down because they operate under a faulty life strategy that says they gain at another's loss.
When this becomes clear to you, people no longer become a source of potential stress, but rather, they become a curiosity.
Conformity is often a sign of a lower IQ or a mediocre mind.
It's okay to be of average or lower intelligence. It's not their fault.
Those who struggle to think for themselves often find solace in a crowd.
But don't feel bad if you struggle to connect or feel misunderstood.
You are likely not in the former category if you are reading this. You take a healthy interest in reading, learning and developing yourself. This is often a sign of superior intelligence and something to be embraced.
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein
You must find a way to trust your instincts.
Just because society screeches that this or that is 'the right thing to do' doesn't mean it's right for you.
Many of us endure depression because we allow ourselves to be moulded by the opinions and judgements of other people. We relinquish our power by giving it up for others to pick at, like vultures in an open field.
We do this because we lack faith in our own ability to perceive what's right for us. We grew up waiting for other authority figures to touch us on the shoulder and give us permission. And we lost our way.
You must find the path of self-guidance again. This means listening to - and believing - your gut.
You must trust your own boot as you step firmly into the sand.
People who stand to change the world often have the most doubts.
"The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." - Robert Hughes
We feel doubt when we inch closer to upsetting the typical and expected order of things.
If we're uniquely talented or willing to invent, we invite rejection. People, for the most part, cringe at change. Being an innovator is inherently about disruption. And this can be scary. This is why we can feel doubt because we are skirting our edges.
So please know that if you feel lots of doubt, it does not indicate what's wrong with you. It merely reflects the reality of what you're capable of - i.e. disruption.
You can either be crippled by your doubt or emboldened by it.
"Go out there, poke the box, and cause a ruckus." - Paraphrasing Seth Godin.
Other people do not have the power to decrease our self-worth.
One of our greatest fears is tied to banishment from the tribe. It harks back to when you and I would jiggle our hips to hypnotic drum beats in nothing but a loin cloth.
We didn't want to be sent out alone into a scary forest because we might die. This fear holds less significance in the modern age. The other side to this fear is our human-shared false belief that other people have the power to diminish our self-worth.
It's a very real thought and a seemingly real threat.
We believe this because somewhere along the way, we were told that self-esteem or self-worth was a thing. They are not - beyond being an illusory concept housed in confused minds.
We have nothing of ourselves to lose. Meditating on this can bring much relief.
You may lose blood to a wound, but you can't lose a piece of what makes you you.
This makes it far easier to fearlessly go out and do what works for you with your head held high.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Twenty-one simple tricks to instantly make your writing more impactful
What I learned from sixteen years of sharing my writing online
I've written over 100,000 tweets, 100s of articles and blogs, and over 6 books.
I read back over some of it and smile at how far I've come.
A lot of my stuff flopped.
Many now write to me each week, thanking me for helping them with my words. It's a feeling like nothing else.
Here are 21 tips that helped me write better sentences:
Speak to your mate.
Write like you're writing to a best friend. The reader will feel your authenticity, sincerity, and warmth.
Simple words.
Don't use long words when short or more exact words will do. Comprehension > Impressive words.
Conversational but not lazy.
Be lively and loose in your writing, but don't skip or misspell words. And don't abuse your grammar, even in writing tweets. To me, lazy writing is like turning up to a date with dirty fingernails. Have some respect, and so will the reader.
Cut vagueness.
Your reader will connect with specificity. Give clear examples. Be vivid with your words, so the reader can see what you're saying in their mind's eye.
Write 'bad' first.
Don't worry about making mistakes, or your writing will ultimately be boring. Writing that crackles with life is written fearlessly. Get it all down first. Edit later.
Subject and verb early.
Strong writing reveals the active participant and what they are doing early in a sentence. It brings the reader right in. E.g. 'They ate a range of smelly cheeses...'
Quit being long-winded.
This reflects indecisiveness. Avoid using additional words when a shorter version of the sentence is enough.
Vary the word.
Avoid repeating the same words too close to one another. It adds a monotonous weight to a passage or sentence.
Reading should feel like a continually fresh experience.
20-minute sprints.
Write in timed sprints. Then have a quick break and stretch. This helps get me out of my head and into motion, which strong writing needs.
Avoid 'ings.'
Less being, more had. More walked, less walking. Simple present or past is more confident.
Use impact to start and end.
Place strong words and images at the beginning and endings. This brings the reader in and delivers impact in the final words.
Cut out adverbs.
They're watery and detract from a better way of saying something with clarity. For example, 'The fire destroyed his house,' is stronger than: 'The fire completely destroyed his house.' We have enough impact without the adverb here.
Fewer redundant words.
For example:
'evolved over time' < 'evolved.'
'past history' < 'past.'
'true facts' < 'facts.'
Get creative.
Combine two ideas in a way no one has seen before. Be entertaining with your play on words and ideas. Be unexpected. Here's an example I wrote today: 'The best productivity hack I know: being present.'
Cliches lose the reader.
Cliches are lazy and over-used. Put extra effort into finding an original way of saying something.
Write with vigour.
Infuse emotion into your writing habit. You don't wait for inspiration. You create it through writing. This will add electricity to your work.
Vary sentence lengths.
Variation stimulates interest, is easier on the eye, and will give your writing texture and momentum.
Be generous with white space.
Vary your paragraph lengths, and use plenty of white space. Long blocks of words leave no 'edge' for the reader to grab on to.
Online, you can't afford to lose interest by having them wade through blocks of text.
Show commitment.
Less:
'I think that,'
'usually,'
'generally,'
'I suppose,'
'typically.'
They all signal hesitancy. Even your vulnerabilities must be shared decisively.
Lose pointless filler words.
Avoid unnecessary words like 'that,' 'literally,' 'just,' 'very,' 'really.' They sound weak.
Use active verbs.
Avoid passive sentences. 'Creates,' is better than: 'was created by.' It denotes confident writing and infuses action into the reading.
Overall TL;DR takeaway for exceptional writing ⮕
Write with vigour as if speaking to a good friend while keeping your sentences tidy, simple and vivid.
Love, Alex
🔆
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"content": "Things got so much better when I did less thinking.",
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Things got so much better when I did less thinking.
I used to spend entire days in my head.
When the day was over, I'd think back and realise I'd achieved little more than robotically making myself some lunch.
And I spilt some without even noticing.
I was thinking through things, you see.
It was seriously important that I did.
I was convinced that thinking hard on a problem would bring me what I wanted. But all I got was low-level anxiety and a wasted afternoon.
It took me years of the anxiety created by this overthinking to force me to change.
I learned from various teachers and gurus. Most made me think even more, and feel even more stressed. I was self-conscious.
But then, one day, it clicked.
It was something I read somewhere. It said:
You do better when there's less on your mind.
And I knew immediately how true it was.
Everything worked better when I wasn't thinking that thinking was the answer.
I was more present and just had this pleasant, calming sense that things would be okay.
But why would this be?
Surely worrying meant I was in far more control of my life?
Well, not quite, wise guy. Not when worrying makes us more stressed and, therefore, less effective.
Be willing to worry less so you do better and get 5x more done.
You may have had an insight as you read this. This is precisely what you need to cement these ideas forever.
A series of 'aha' moments will rewire your mind so you feel far less inclined to overthink.
My course, Untethered Mind, is designed to give you these insights in the correct order, so you literally change your mind in an afternoon.
Get your copy here.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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The new skills we need so we aren't destroyed by the exponential growth of the Internet
Isn't the Internet marvellous?
I'm scanning the room, and about half of you are nodding your heads.
Another handful of you stare blankly.
One of you is picking your nose.
The rest of you are grimacing.
A rotund fella at the back has a red face and is getting up to leave (his face wasn't red moments ago).
We all have different opinions on the Internet.
These thoughts slide and morph depending on our mood, and our recent thoughts and experiences about said Internet.
Right now, I'm feeling excited and hopeful, but I wanted to throw my laptop out the window ten minutes ago.
One of the things opened up by the unbelievable magnitude of new data sources and interconnectivity is our ever-widening access to other people's creations and personalities.
At no point in history has it been easier to see other people - often younger and better-looking than you - succeeding and getting themselves out there.
It's easier than ever to be threatened by the success of others.
We can compare ourselves and interpret the comparison to mean we are inferior.
This makes us feel bad. It might even make us angry.
I know I've felt these things more often than I'd like to admit.
I'm nearly forty and still see myself as a beginner in doing it right as a creator, entrepreneur (whatever that means) and self-employed business owner.
I still struggle to wrap my head around half this stuff. Plus, how things are 'supposed' to be done continually evolves.
But if it's tough for me, it must be tough for others.
This is especially true if we put on an added layer of comparison and growing resentment.
There are other sources of angst that can be triggered through Internet use, which I haven't even touched on.
There are a couple of ways to handle this challenge:
Logistical: Use the Internet less and find balance with offline time. Outsource as much Internet time to others as possible. Limit your screen and social media time, and dip in and out as needed. Or quit altogether.
Psychological: Use potential comparison as an opportunity to develop mental resilience. See other people's successes through a new lens, which sees their work as inspiration for you rather than a source of self-criticism.
In reality, the solution is a bit of both.
It depends on how far you want to turn up the thermostat in each.
The main point here is this:
Many will suffer in this period of exponential technology growth and increasing connectivity.
Those who thrive will tend to the two skills of logistical and psychological awareness and care.
What's something you are doing to manage?
Do share in the comments below.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
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'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
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This often ignored idea will multiply your passion to succeed
Of all the lofty goals people set for themselves year after year, how many of them do you think they reach?
50%?
30%
20%...
...5%?
I would guess that whatever the number, it's very very low.
I'll be honest. My own tally for the goals I've committed to that I've actually realized over my life time is probably less than 10%.
Every year, throughout the year, I spend hours and hours in coffee shops around the world getting excited about goals. I drink coffee, I feel a surge of enthusiasm, I feel I can achieve anything, and I scribble down my goals and dreams.
I love to plan with a pen and paper. I love to motivate myself thinking about what I want to achieve.
Very often, the goals that I'd written in my notebooks at the start of the year have been wiped from my memory by the end of the year.
I don't even remember what I wanted a few months before.
I'm motivated by planning and dreaming, even if many of those dreams end up pushed to the dark room at the back of my mind.
And that's ok.
But what about the goals I have actually achieved? Surely hitting goals if we can make it work is a good thing?
Of course it is. Life is a process, but we also need direction, and we also want to win. Setting ourselves goals allows for both.
Recently I was reading Daniel Goleman's book: Focus, where he discusses that we find it difficult to stay focused on the future, because it is abstract.
It's easier to focus on concerns that we're dealing with today, like getting our rent paid on time. It is harder for us to take far distant concerns seriously, like preparing for environmental damage or writing that book.
Our struggle with sticking to goals, especially longer-term ones, has a lot to do with this too.
What we need is for future plans to feel as urgent as needing to take a pee after drinking four gallons of water in a row.
Eric Thomas, the Hip Hop Preacher puts it better:
'When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful.'
Goleman suggests that to make the future more concrete, we need to vividly imagine the threats that the future could bring as if they are immediate.
In doing so, we are more likely to act today in anticipation of events that are in the future.
When I look back over all the goals I've achieved, which is comparatively few, they have all more or less been reached because I was keenly aware of how crappy not achieving that goal would be.
Like when I was really short on money a couple of years ago and had a goal of earning a certain amount through coaching within a month.
I hit that goal out of the park, because the alternative was not pleasant at all and I was regularly thinking about being hopelessly broke.
If we think about why it would suck not to achieve our goals, we will find it a lot more motivating to want to reach them.
Most of us who set goals prioritise visualisation and focusing on what we want.
Many (including myself) tell us that we need to regularly affirm and repeat our goals in order to make them more real right now.
This is important but it also needs an extra ingredient.
We need to emphasise the reality of not achieving our goals too.
Instead of a goal being something 'we'd kinda like', we need to make it into an absolute must.
It's the consistent urgency that gets us there, and in a distracting and comfortable world, it's really hard to stay driven on one thing.
Most goals worth pursuing were reached by people who had the mindset:
'I will do whatever it takes, no matter what.'
To continue with a hip-hop theme, Eminem rapped in reference to his journey to fame:
'...I've got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot,
Success is my only motherfucking option, failure's not....'
Whether this is conscious or not, the successful constantly remind themselves why they can not afford to fail.
And this is what we can do to create a stronger drive towards getting what we want.
Visualise and have direction. Be clear on the goal. Regularly write down your vision.
But we need the flip side too. We need to live, feel, absorb, and truly understand everything that is not good about not reaching that goal.
To start with, this is what you can do, and this I what I do:
Write down a list of all the reasons you can't afford to not reach your goal.
Having fewer goals helps here, and also makes it easier to achieve them.
What would you miss out on?
How would you regret not having gone for it in your older age?
Why would not having it be painful?
What do you risk by not going for it?
2. Write a list of all the reasons why this goal must be reached.
What opportunities will this goal bring into your life?
How will you be able to better contribute?
How will you grow as a person by working towards and achieving the goal?
How will your life look when you have achieved it?
Who will thank you when you are there, and what will they say?
This exercise, done regularly will charge your goal with emotion, even tears, making it more real and urgent to you.
Doing this might even make you reconsider what is really important in your life.
Remind yourself of your reasons daily, and use this passion, this purpose to chip away at it every day.
🔆
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How to deal with a painful loss
The feeling of no longer having what you once had can range from frustration to a deep sense of grief.
One day it's in your life, and then suddenly, it's gone.
Maybe it was taken from you abruptly.
Or maybe you knew the end was coming, so you had time to anticipate the 'no longer having.'
This may have made it easier. Or you may have suffered regardless.
Humans have struggled with losing things dear to them since sharing grassland with oversized sloths.
Some have allowed the pain to compound, twist and morph. They end up bitter, uptight and sluggish.
Others have found a way to manage - and even thrive.
The loss once hurt, but now it projects some colour.
What makes the difference?
Our interpretation of a loss can be felt as extreme and visceral physical pain.
This is the power of our thoughts.
We really do feel what we think.
In that order.
It's instant. It's a law of the Universe.
No exceptions.
Our thoughts can possess such weight and meaning they are felt like deep wounds.
The sting of another rejection.
The malaise after a breakup.
The grief of death.
Heavy.
Dark.
Despairing.
It can be harrowing.
I have felt pain from these things, though I can never say I shared the pain others felt because pain varies depending on the individual.
It varies depending on how someone regards and interacts with their thinking.
The fact we can all experience psychologically induced pain in different ways points to the heart of the solution.
Though it's near impossible to avoid the hurt of losing a loved one, for example, we are still dealing with self-created pain.
And this pain is the same kind of pain as a seemingly "lesser" loss, though the effect is likely amplified.
This pain did not spring on us from a dark alley.
We were not attacked physically.
We responded to an event.
We applied a judgement to the event.
Meaning was born.
And then meaning was felt in our bones.
That's how it works.
Exercising grief is understandable; it can be cathartic to express a loss for a while, depending on what happened.
But the more you can remind yourself that your thoughts of what happened are not the same as reality's neutral and natural purity, the better you will manage.
When we judge a loss as a loss, we emphasise that loss. It is felt as pain.
The sooner we accept and de-energise these thoughts of loss, the better we manage.
We return to the lucid beauty of the present more of the time.
This has to happen at some point; the sooner, the better.
Finding the gleaming gem wrapped within the hardship will be even more powerful.
What did this teach you?
How did this bless you?
And yes, I know this is difficult if the loss was particularly cruel. But even that is a criticism you have applied to an otherwise judgement-free occurrence.
Life happens as it does. This is data.
Like a dead leaf floating down a stream, life happening is neither 'good' or 'bad.'
Can you find the opportunity in the vacancy created by the lost thing?
Can you thank the person you lost?
They may energise you toward a new purpose.
They can energise you toward a new purpose.
You are flying on their wings.
Accept it when you can.
Now be thankful.
There is healing in a simple word of thanks.
Let go of thoughts of loss, and you will be OK.
Find the blessing in the loss, and you will thrive.
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Seventeen secrets that give you an unfair edge over 98% of other creators
We don't operate on a level playing field.
I've learned this from working for myself as an entrepreneur, writer and creative for over fifteen years.
How can this be?
We strategically create an edge.
Here's what I learned:
Your greatest obstacle isn't work or other people.
It is the story you buy into that says you're not cut out for it.
You must be ruthlessly intolerant to thoughts like these.
Managing your mind well is your most significant edge.
The more you create a state of flow that connects you to an underlying Universal wisdom, the more opportunity you create for yourself.
One of the most overlooked skills isn't developing your main craft.
It's developing a razor-sharp tolerance to consistently doing the things that push your brand and product forward. The skill is in the consistency.
You must be continually curious, not for things that merely interest you, but for things that solve pressing problems people are known to have.
Your bad habits are sabotaging you.
Bad habits might seem inconsequential, but they eat away at your most precious asset in the game of creating remarkable things: your energy.
Your thinking that the past should in any way dictate your present personality and talents is holding you back.
It forces you to sink back into the faceless masses, wondering why you spend each day stewing in quiet resignation.
You're not one of them. You are a malleable being, able to shapeshift to the 'personality' that the task at hand requires of you.
Reading articles like these is a form of mental masturbation to soothe you out of the true realisation that you are wasting valuable time not taking action.
You know more than you know. And that is often enough to continue.
One of the toughest things to deal with if you plan to move up through the ranks of creative achievement is other people who feel attacked by your progress.
They will - often in subtle, passive ways - encourage you to return to the lower rungs.
You must be willing to detach emotionally and logistically from these accidental party-poopers.
Always move in the direction of doing what most people are unwilling to do.
Rather than following the herd, which is often a death knell, you must ask yourself, 'What do most people do in my field, and how can I do it differently?'
You must become comfortable with not feeling okay.
Anyone who created anything of significance had to push through the discomfort of exposing themselves to criticism from other humans, notably the one staring back at them in the mirror.
If you are always comfortable, you probably aren't pushing far enough.
No genius of our time was motivated in the long term by cute, positive Instagram sayings.
They put in the work when they felt like it the least.
Then they rode the energy wave that came out of having done the last thing.
Most people fall prey to the continual draw of new, novel projects and ideas.
Those who go far drill down into the practices and ideas that have already proven to work.
Stop focusing on the mediocre.
You must continually realign your work and your values to produce things of outstanding quality.
"Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great." - John D. Rockefeller
You must bring everything you can to every task that isn't worth delegating.
This applies twice as much to seemingly mundane or 'lesser' jobs. This isn't about short-changing yourself.
This is about training your mind and body for excellence, regardless of the category in which your task sits.
Use fear as your guide.
Nerves show you are moving away from safety towards a zone that sits beyond socially acceptable.
Nothing worth doing was considered 'normal' at first. You must be bold.
Be willing to polarise.
Not everything you do needs to piss people off. But you mustn't shy away from this effect either.
Chances are if what you do has some people hating you and others loving you, you're creating something the world needs. Plus, you'll have more die-hard fans.
You make things ten times harder for yourself when you resist mistakes and setbacks.
If you daren't fail, you limit creative expression.
If you take a long time to recover after a perceived setback, you squander time that could have been spent firing yourself up about getting back in the game.
I'll see you on the field.
🔆
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Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Fourteen self-reflection questions to simplify your next 30 days
Do you overcomplicate things?
Here are 14 self-reflection questions to quickly simplify your next 30 days:
(prepare to be surprised at your own wisdom)
If you're not ready to gain some serious focus for your next 30 days, I must advise you to stop reading.
If you're ready, let's continue on, shall we?..
If I were to live a super simple life, what would that look like in the best way possible for me?
What's the number one most important thing I will achieve within the next 30 days that will happen no matter what it takes?
If I knew the one thing I need to do every single day that would have the most profound effect on my potential income, what would that be?
What's one thing I keep avoiding that I know will make things better if I do it this month?
If I knew the one thing I need to do every single day that would have the most profound effect on my health, what would that be?
What's something I keep thinking is important that isn't actually important at all, but thinking about it makes me miserable? (Yeah, identify it and stop doing that)
What's one work-related thing I will drop this week that isn't working for me to create space for more focus in another area?
What's one thing I know holds me back the most from a simple, happier life? (Cut it today, get accountability on it, do whatever it takes to get it out of your life)
What's one thing I can do that will significantly boost my monthly income?
What are some things I do that I know make my life way harder than it needs to be?
What are 2 bad habits I will hard eradicate this month that continually drain the life out of me?
What's one thing I will do today that I know will simplify my life?
What can I do to ensure I get the space for reflection and renewal I need each week?
How would I do it if I knew exactly how to solve my most pressing current problem?
The beauty with every single one of these is you already know the answer.
Sit in a quiet place and reflect on them.
This could be the most powerful exercise you do this month.
🔆
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Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Nurture the subtle art of non-reactivity to rediscover powerful self-confidence
"To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad." - Eckhart Tolle
One of the greatest turn-offs is seeing people react aggressively or with frustration to external challenges or triggering words.
You've seen it hundreds of times, perhaps even in people you held in high regard. When they lost their temper or were unfairly harsh in their response, you felt your admiration drain. And we've all been in this situation many times.
Something happened in our world that we didn't like or appreciate.
Maybe you felt disrespected.
Maybe you were cut off in traffic.
Maybe you were heckled on stage, giving a comedy performance.
Maybe you were tired after a long day, and you snapped at your partner's request to take the rubbish out because he said it in a way you thought was snarky.
How did you feel after you reacted like you did?
Rarely feels good, huh?
Usually, we regret snapping. We feel shame rise up about losing our temper. We wish we could erase that moody moment when we felt compelled to loudly complain.
It's usually a regret. And there is a reason we often feel this way when we react like this. We know in our bones this is an immature move. It's a sign of weakness, of insecurity. And people will sense this instantly.
We know this because we know how our behaviours always send messages. When we get angry, especially in the face of something inconsequential, we demonstrate that we can't control our emotions. We are consumed by them. We are guided by our feelings, and I hate to say it, but that's a very childish trait.
Sometimes, we can be highly misguided - especially when in the throes of anger - in thinking that reacting without restraint is in some way empowering - the 'right' thing.
It never is. This is the issue with being triggered. Our brain chemicals can be in such a state that we get carried away. We don't see the error of our choices until it's too late and our emotions have finally subsided. By then, the destruction will have already been left.
You will have trouble finding respect for yourself, just as those around you will lose respect for you. They've seen how easy it is for you to be carried away on the wave of emotions. You are no longer the dependable 'rock' you were before. How can anyone trust you - especially if you're in an authority position - if you can't control your emotions and remain calm?
And if you're having trouble understanding the idea that your power comes from your ability to maintain a stoic calm, think of this:
Are you more likely to do better when you're calm or when you're in anger?
Does creativity, insight, and resourcefulness come more easily when you're calm or in a state of wound-up stress?
Staying calm, regardless of how emotional you feel, doesn't make you robotic or boring. There is a very misguided idea floating around in self-help circles these days that seeks to encourage people to 'get in touch with their feelings' and 'expressing their feelings.' This is overhyped and vastly overrated.
Why would I say this?
Feelings are simply physical reflections of the state of one's thinking at any given moment. If you have an angry thought - which is precisely what happens when one is triggered - you will feel angry in your body.
If you feel disappointed, it's got nothing to do with reality per sé. You just had a fleeting thought that featured disappointment.
When we have an angry thought, it is foolish to be carried away by anger in this moment because, unless you need to fight, this could lead to unnecessary behaviours and regrettable acts.
If you need to express yourself, you're merely expressing an angry thought you generated. It's not as important as you think. You made it up.
You perceived it, and you made yourself angry.
So, what do we do with all this?
We develop the habit of seeing thoughts for what they are.
They are perceptions of what is going on, strained through the filter of your clever mind.
When we create distance between our thoughts and behaviours, we improve at non-reactivity. We develop a measured and resourceful nature about us that is attractive and admirable.
It is entirely false that just because you were triggered by someone, you need to express your anger. Absolutely not.
This has only gotten you and others in trouble in the past. You've only ever regretted it, so how the heck can expressing your feelings work in this case? It doesn't.
You need to take the alternative route of the respectable few:
Take a breath, watch yourself as though you are another person, and remain calm.
This is a habit. A practice. Like with any habit, the more of it you do, the better you get at this. It becomes more and more automatic (thanks brain).
This skill will save you tremendous heartache and misery and draw people around you like you're at a fire-fly party on the beach.
* * *
ACTION STEP:
Put non-reactivity into practice.
One of the best ways to develop the skill of non-reactivity is through mindful meditation.
The fundamental thing you train through meditation is separating yourself from your feelings and emotions. This is done by observing your breath and other sensations.
Knowing you can do this is calming, watching your emotions go by.
Meditation teaches us how we can create a separation between a triggering thought and our reaction.
Keeping the two separate is what it means to master the art of non-reactivity.
—
This is a chapter from my book, The Art of Self Respect, which you can buy here.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Eleven little things you can do that make others want to listen to you
Ever get frustrated that people don't seem to pay you attention?
I've been there many times, and it sucks.
That's why I've spent years studying the art of authority, communication and leadership. I've also learned a ton as a coach, working with hundreds of people in direct conversation.
The skill of garnering rapt attention to what you're saying is becoming rare, but it will help you make a tremendous impact in the world.
Here's how to ensure people take note, prick their ears, and listen up:
Don't get angry or overly emotional.
Did you ever try to get someone to do what you wanted by raising your voice, shouting or acting out of annoyed aggression?
Unlikely. People resist anger because it is not controlled. It reflects a chaotic and insecure state, which others can't respect.
If you're triggered, take a breath, and always speak from a place of measured calm.
In a panel debate, the most erratically emotional speaker rarely garners the most attention and respect.
Make your words count.
Don't dilute the power and meaning behind your words by saying more than you need.
When we use more words than is necessary to make a point, the value of any one word diminishes.
Measured, controlled talking makes people hang on to your words because they know they are scarce, and scarcity is valuable.
Speak slower.
There is a place for faster talking if the person you are with has a higher rate of speaking.
You might do this to align your tempo to maintain rapport. But usually, speaking fast reflects imbalance.
You're rushing your words out of insecurity or an unwillingness to be in the spotlight. Respected speakers take their time.
They own their space.
This emphasises their higher status in the room, and people will respond accordingly.
Embrace silences and create space.
Most people are terrified of seemingly awkward silences in conversations.
They um and ahh their way through, fidgeting should any pause longer than a second arise. But is this lack of surety and discomfort the foundation for developing a beautiful discussion?
Be different, and find a way to make peace with silence.
As many assume, this doesn't show a lack of intelligence; it emphasises your strength.
You need to set the frame and demonstrate that quiet periods are ok. They add to the electricity running through the connection.
Watch some of the best speakers and notice how many are ok with long pauses.
This attracts respect and attention.
Don't ramble.
Like talking more than you need to, rambling takes this to another level.
If you ramble in many different directions, you're not a flawed human, but it will affect the degree to which people are willing to listen.
Rambling shows that you can't focus on a single point and deliver your response with clarity. It also communicates a lack of surety in what you're saying.
It's harder for the listener to hone in on the multitude of disparate points you make, so they are far less likely to listen after a point.
This takes practice and awareness. Stick to the point.
Listen to others.
To expect rapt attention from another, you can't be the guy blabbering continually without really listening to the other person.
When we direct our attention to listening - like really ACTUALLY listening - we become less self-conscious, which builds calm and confidence in us.
But it will also be felt by the other person, ensuring they don't sit there stewing with resentment that you ignored them.
They, too, will reciprocate and listen to you when it's your turn to speak.
Communicate your boundaries.
We're subtly communicating our tolerance to disrespect in everything we do.
If we're in a conversation and allow others to butt in or talk over us continually, we sub-communicate a tolerance for disrespect.
So what do you do? You continue speaking assertively if someone is trying to cut in.
If that isn't having an effect, be bold and calmly tell them that you'd appreciate them allowing you to finish a sentence.
Be upfront about this, and don't cower to avoid 'rocking the boat'.
This will garner respect.
Speak boldly but don't shout.
Those who command attention in a room speak with little hesitation in their words.
This doesn't mean you need to raise your voice. It means speaking with confidence behind what you're saying.
Even if you aren't sure what you're saying, you need to lean in and say it like you mean it. Hesitant speaking and language will signal a lack of faith in your words and fall on deaf ears.
Strong speaking is less about what you say and far more about how you say it.
Use decisive language.
The words and phrases we choose to make our points make a significant difference.
If we lead our opinions with phrases like: 'I'm pretty sure,' 'I feel,' 'I kinda think,' 'I guess,' etc., why would others feel compelled to buy into what you're saying?
Have faith in your words and tell them, 'I believe,' 'I know,' and 'I think.'
Always speak with total, unfaltering conviction.
There is confidence here, and others will be inclined to believe what you're saying.
Be respectful of others.
Powerful communication isn't a one-way thing.
It depends on the context, but if you're driving forward with your opinions while giving little time to acknowledge the points of others, even if you disagree, you can't expect others to reciprocate.
There must be mutual respect. If you disagree, you can still acknowledge others and be respectful.
You say: 'I respect your opinion, but I disagree.'
Give others space to air their words, and they will be more inclined to give you the freedom to be heard.
Be real.
Those who tend to gather keen listeners don't hide what they mean with bland platitudes and waffly misdirections.
Modern politicians are great at this.
Influential talkers say what might feel uncomfortable and awkward if it means being honest.
Speaking the truth, especially saying things that aren't always comfortable, takes courage.
To speak courageously, from the heart - this is what will bring you rapt attention, respectful listeners and even standing ovations.
Keep it real, even if it hurts.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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How to build an online brand your people want to binge
Ever binged on a tv show?
It can feel like an addiction.
This is the power of good storytelling.
What made you want to keep watching?
Intrigue.
You wanted to know what happened next.
But it's not just any narrative that works.
We want to know whether the main character will overcome a challenge.
Will Jack survive the fall?
Will Betty pay her rent on time or get evicted?
Why do we care?
Because we see ourselves in the protagonist.
We're wired to pay attention to perceived threats.
It's a throwback to the days when Dong Dong ran around in leopard-skin loincloths.
We need to know that we can fight 'enemies' and win.
We need relief from pain.
If not, we lose.
Or we die.
No bueno.
So, if YOU can continually intrigue your followers and readers through story...
They will want to binge on you.
Those who do will buy everything you create.
So tell your story as you go.
Step up and be the hero, or pitch others as the hero.
What are your obstacles?
How are your clients overcoming obstacles?
How are you fighting your enemies?
What curious experiences are you having?
What are you learning?
Share little story snippets, and see it as a long-term game.
Allow your followers to piece together the gaps in their minds.
Bring your people into your battles, large and small.
Show them what's possible.
Show them they can win.
This is how to build an addictive brand.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Twelve mistakes solopreneurs make that stop them bringing in hundreds of daily subscribers and buyers to their newsletter
I've been growing my newsletter on and off for over a decade.
I took it seriously ever since a friend encouraged me to take it seriously a few years ago in a Vietnam cafe.
Since then, I've built two newsletters covering over fifty thousand relevant subscribers to my solutions and products.
I bring in between 50 and 150 new subscribers each day.
Here's a recent snap of my Untethered Mind mindset and productivity newsletter:
Having been playing this game for so long, I'm in the fortunate position to know what works and what doesn't work.
I want to help you grow your newsletter - but not only that...
I want to help you add relevant people and ideal clients.
I want to help you communicate with them so you build trust quickly.
I want you to build not just an audience...
I want to help you build a movement of raving fans.
And I want you to build a community around you who want to buy your products, so you make a legit income from this.
You will save so much time simply by being aware of the mistakes so many make in growing their brand and newsletters.
When you know what to avoid, most of the work is done.
Here are those mistakes:
No clarity of purpose.
Trying to help too broad a group.
Little understanding of your community's pain points.
You haven't developed a healthy relationship with rejection.
Lack of authority.
No sales funnel.
Lack of consistency.
You don't have a content system to refer to.
Communication doesn't spark emotion.
Not polarising.
Your brand story is missing.
No buyer's environment.
Let's go into a little more detail for each:
1. No clarity of purpose (the secret ingredient most miss).
The most foundational element in understanding how to position yourself and to create outstanding content that brings people into your newsletter is knowing how you can uniquely set yourself apart.
I know this because I always felt lost and slightly depressed when I didn't know how I could best contribute in the world.
How can you best help, given your underlying passion and associated skills and talents?
You want to identify how to help in a unique way that no one else can touch. This will position you as someone worth following with significant value.
When you know how to best contribute in the world, you will be on purpose.
You will have a sense of mission because you know how to help best.
You also want to know what cause you are fighting for so you can attract people who share a similar wider mission.
My purpose is to help people overcome self-censorship and fear of rejection so they can express themselves and communicate more effectively.
And it's the thing I am driven to improve in myself the most, whether through writing or speaking more effectively.
What could that be for you?
Here are some questions to help you find that thing you could contribute in a unique way that would keep you energised:
What do you find yourself effortlessly drawn to learning or mastering? (think of the type of books that predominantly fill your shelves)
What would be the worst thing other people could criticise you for behind your back?
What would you love to do if you knew you couldn't fail?
What frequently angers or frustrates you in yourself and society?
What do people always compliment you on?
What are some injustices that really bother you in the world?
What was the lowest point or challenge that you rose from? Maybe it was an accident, sickness, addiction, personal struggle. What got you through it?
If you could teach everybody you met one thing, what would it be? If you could only be known for one thing, what would it be?
What can you become the best in the world at?
2. Trying to help too broad a group.
You can't possibly help everyone, even if your expertise could, in theory, help the entire planet. You want to narrow down on who you help - and communicate this. This makes it easier for you, and it makes it easier for the potential client to find you.
Building a thriving community of people who will ultimately buy your products is an intentional process. You need some definition around who it is you are helping get from A to B, thanks to your unique expertise.
Who would you love to work with?
Create a client avatar that describes who this person is in detail.
You will then use this to help define the types of solutions you provide, where you provide them and the language you use to bring in these kinds of people.
It may be that you bring in people who sit outside your ideal category. That's fine. The key thing is that you're focused on helping a primary group. They will feel far more in alignment with your work because of this.
This process will benefit both from you making a decision, as well as feedback you receive from the market over time. So who you work with could change. But the key thing is you have clarity about who this group is for the next phase.
3. Little understanding of your community's pain points.
Being energised by the content you create is key.
And a lot of that passion and energy will come from within because you're creating things that naturally fascinate you.
As you develop and release ongoing content and products to your community, you must also be careful to speak to their problems. You need to combine your personal interest and solving real problems people have.
This means regularly talking to your followers and asking questions. Get on calls, send out surveys, send DMs.
Keep your finger on the pulse of your community, and then solve those problems through your content and outstanding products.
4. You haven't developed a healthy relationship with rejection.
I see many people attempt to grow an audience online and build a business only to burn out or quit.
Much of this is rooted in how they manage their minds.
Your psychology sits at the heart of your success in life, but certainly in this business - where you must regularly share your views publicly.
Building an online business and gathering a community around you inevitably invites potential rejection in. People may criticise your writing. They might not show as much interest in a project as you'd hope. You may also feel insecure at times if you compare yourself to others.
Being ok with rejection is your superpower here. It's a muscle to nurture.
You must find a way to lean into the uncertainty of online business and be ok with the reality that rejection, criticism, and others not living up to your expectations is absolutely part of this process.
5. Lack of authority.
People need to trust you as an expert or authority on a specific topic or topics so they know you are worth following to solve their problems in these areas.
This doesn't require you to be an actual expert.
You need only be a couple of steps ahead of those you teach or guide.
You can also perform the role of a mediator or researcher who introduces the work of other experts around certain topics. In any case, you are building authority in specific areas of support.
This sense that you can help them specifically diminishes when you try to help in too many areas that lack consistency or social proof. All of these need development as you go.
Eventually, you will sell the implementation of the solutions you provide through your paid products and coaching.
For me, I know that people need help with the following, in building a thriving movement and newsletter:
Personal branding and positioning clarity
Mindset and self-sabotage help to stay motivated
Writing and communication that resonates
Content strategy and setting up a newsletter and sales funnel
Those are my authority topics, and define my content and the products I choose to develop.
6. No sales funnel.
You need to think of your business as a process that takes a complete stranger to developing trust in you, through to ultimately buying your products.
This requires that you set up a funnel so that people move through the steps in the correct order.
This means initially putting content in front of your ideal followers and potential customers, which directs them to your newsletter.
From here, you either put them in front of a paid product straight away, or you develop trust by sharing value content in the form of newsletters before giving them an opportunity to invest in one of your products.
Ideally, you will set up a value ladder system that allows people to upgrade their purchase from lower ticket offers (like a $100 course) all the way to higher ticket products like a higher ticket course, cohort or $4,000 coaching, for example.
You also want to prioritise making money with your community immediately, even if this means selling consulting, other services, or a small ebook.
The more optimised this process is, the more money you will bring in to help support your business and fund your movement.
7. Lack of consistency.
Building a brand business like selling courses through a newsletter isn't a one-and-done.
First of all, you need to develop your skill as a creator and writer - which requires consistently showing up and publishing to gauge feedback.
You also want to have content continually seen by your kinds of people. It's an ongoing, flowing system that keeps current followers interested and aware. Consistent output will also drive new eyeballs to your newsletters and new sales.
It will provide you with the data you need that feeds back into your thriving movement too.
Consistency is also a kind of persuasion.
If you're building something worthwhile, your fans must see you're behind what you say.
8. No content system to refer to.
Many people lose motivation to create and publish content consistently. But motivation isn't your highest priority.
Creating a system is.
You need a system you can refer to that guides your approach to creating content, from ideation to clarity on the message you share and the distribution channels you use to get your message in front of the right people continuously.
When you have a system, you either follow it or not.
Your personal concerns don't factor.
Motivation is nice, but success is far more likely when you have direction provided by your system.
9. Communication doesn't spark emotion.
With the rise of ai writing, the need to stand out through human, authentic communication is becoming increasingly important.
People are desperate for authentic and fresh, human communication and leadership.
That's where you step in.
If you want people to gather around your movement, and ultimately buy your coaching and products, you need to forge an emotional connection.
Communication is the means to create this. Many things make up emotional communication.
Yes, it's good that you share value that people can apply in their lives, but they are far more likely to want to invest in you when they like and trust you.
One way to do this is to tell stories.
The other is to reveal more about your flaws and to be funny.
Sharing details of your life and personal story adds depth too. Ultimately, your stuff has to be entertaining and trigger some kind of emotion.
That's how people become attached.
10. Not polarising.
In other words, you're vanilla, and a bit too safe, and too much like everyone else.
It's in your best interest to polarise.
This doesn't necessarily mean being divisive in your communication approach, though you want to have some people dislike your work. This means you'll more likely have others who love what you do.
It's also about demonstrating that you are not the kind of person for everyone. A special kind of person is attracted to your style and your position.
That's what makes your work powerful, and your community particularly cohesive.
So this means not only being comfortable with having a strong, unique voice, and speaking your mind, but it means being clear about who you help and who you do not help. It's also great to identify a common enemy that you're on a mission to fight.
This is a huge driver of interest from your kinds of people, and it will motivate you.
11. Your brand story is missing.
As the leader of a movement, you must demonstrate how you are uniquely suited to the help you provide.
The more people sense this, the more likely they will be to buy into your message and your support.
Knowing and sharing your primary brand or personal story is a critical part of this that many miss.
What is your brand story?
You may have several stories you use to show how you or your clients are overcoming the obstacles encountered in the transformation you offer.
Your brand story is the primary account of how you uncovered your zone of genius and your unique way of serving in the world.
Your brand story reveals your own journey to overcome a personal struggle often, which leads to a process of study or transformation.
It's this very transformation that you can help others with too.
It gives context to your expertise that people will trust.
12. No buyer's environment.
I know many people who struggle to sell their courses, products and cohorts. This is often rooted to two main things:
First of all, they - often unwittingly - create an environment for their subscribers and followers that doesn't lead to sales. In fact, it can often be that the environment pushes people away when you come to promote something.
The reason this is significant is that people respond very strongly to the environment and the expectations this environment prompts.
If you become known as the person who never promotes or sells, you're not encouraging an environment that will lead to sales.
People need to know you're in the business of making money, as well as sharing plenty of value.
You do this by:
Talking openly about the products you're developing.
Asking your followers for help in crafting your products.
Regularly promoting something, or endorsing other sponsors.
I've seen many people do nothing but share for free, without promoting anything for months, only to see a complete lack of interest come launch day. Promotion is year-round - not just for a short window.
The second part of this is getting over your own humps regarding selling. Having resistance to sales will ensure you limit your capacity to earn a solid income through your guidance.
You want a movement that is sustainable in the long term. For most people, this means income coming in.
Monetise your movement immediately if possible, even if that's with a small ebook you put together in a weekend.
As well as bringing in much-needed cash flow early, this will build your confidence and set the right expectations early.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Six tiny adjustments that transformed my mediocre writing
I remember writing online over a decade ago, wondering how to get more people to read my stuff.
I knew writing was my thing. I wasn't a big talker. Writing felt like me.
But I wasn't connecting.
It took me several years to collect enough information to get a better sense for the little things that had the greatest impact on my words:
1. I prioritised making sense.
You need to see your writing from the point of view of someone who doesn't know you and is sitting in a different world in a different context.
Do not pine after the loss of 'looking impressive' to make way for simplicity.
2. Figured out how to say things in ways people had never heard before.
People are attuned to breaks in the expected patterns.
For example, take a standard solution to a problem and write a compelling argument for its opposite (while still being right).
3. I stopped taking up people's time.
On X, people write long-form posts just because this feature is available.
Their writing is convoluted, long and tedious.
Be a breath of fresh air.
Write just enough but no more.
4. I only wrote about things that fascinated me.
This doesn't mean you can't take a topic you may have previously regarded with indifference, and make it interesting.
It's all in how you choose to see it.
When you're fascinated, this will come through your words, and your reader will be fascinated too.
5. I turned up the extremes.
Be assertive.
Say it like you mean it. Give us powerful contrasts.
Whatever you do, do not choose vanilla, when you can pick tangy lime aid flavour.
6. I showed more of myself.
It's difficult to engage anyone if we talk in concepts, airy platitudes and approximations.
This is like trying to cook bacon and eggs with a spatula tied to the end of a barge pole.
You need to get intimate.
Show us the textures of people's lives.
Let us into your house.
Much love,
Alex.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Seven ways to start next year with an advantage 99% of people won't have
Ready for the end of the year?
None of us really are, but let's see how we can make the most of it...
1. Note your top 5 lessons from this year.
Few take a moment to assess how their year went.
It needn't be some big fanfare thing. Just reflect for a while on what you learned this last year. What lessons can you bring forward into the next?
Note this down.
Enjoy this brainstorming and reflective process.
What were you grateful for this year?
You're not Scrooge, are you?
So open up and take a second to see what you love about your situation and life.
2. Create and share content.
Most people drift away from creating things, and the limelight, towards the end of the year.
That's fine for many.
But certainly, if your financial success relies on attention, you will stand to gain by remaining on people's radars through the slower period in the year.
People are indoors, and many are still glued to their screens.
Make videos, record podcasts, and get your writing out there.
Share material (like the article you're reading) that is relevant and flying on current trends.
Be seen, be heard, and then it won't be such a grind to gain attention when everyone returns from the land of the dead in the new year.
3. Exercise like you would in a 'normal' month.
Most people allow their exercise schedule to drop off in December. Several variables are at play, particularly in cold climates, for why this is.
Also, Christmas and feeling burned out towards the end of a long year.
But here's the trouble with that. If we feel burned out, the last thing we want to do is eat more junk and exercise less.
Maintaining some decent daily exercise will boost your mental health, stave off the love handles, and set you up for a significant advantage at the start of next year.
4. Don't binge.
December and Christmas are when we can fall into cultural norms and dabble in societal expectations.
From baked goods to playing video games, watching movies and drinking alcohol, we can fall prey to the sumptuous trappings that lure us this time of year.
Overdoing it is the norm and even subtly encouraged by most people.
But we know that too much of anything makes us sick and sluggish. Not a good start for next year.
Bring awareness into your consumption this month.
When you sense yourself sliding into over-consumption, slow down.
You're making life harder for yourself by letting yourself go.
Enjoy yourself, but say no to that unnecessary fifth drink.
5. Establish your 3+ main priorities.
Entire months and even years can go by with little direction or progress because we never established what mattered to us the most.
It really can be that simple. It doesn't matter what we do if we don't know what's important to us. And that's how we can spend our years meandering and unfulfilled.
Before next year cracks, sit down and establish those things that matter to you.
What are your main objectives?
What projects would you love to make happen?
Who would you love to meet?
What non-negotiable daily habits will you ensure kick off the year strong?
Be in the 1% and be clear on what's important to you, and get it in writing.
6. Make this month about connecting.
It's easy to want to hide away and hibernate this time of the year.
But use the holidays as an excuse to connect with people you might have yet to reach out to. Invite some people out for a meal. Send some unique cards.
Text or DM some people - new and old.
Why bother?
Because your network - and a buzzing and warm one at that - is one of your most powerful assets.
No matter your focus, you'll be better off starting the year with people aware of you and talking about you.
7. Nurture a still mind.
As the year closes, mindfulness is the last thing on most people's minds (during the most spiritual time of the year for many).
We can be wrapped up in family dramas, plans, parties and relationship woes. We medicate with alcohol and pies. We're engrossed in marathon Christmas movies.
We're in consumption mode, which is the opposite of awareness (or mindfulness).
Some of this is great - absolutely - I'll be the first on the sofa to watch Home Alone for the 19th time.
But here's the thing.
When we develop the habit of mindlessness, we create a resilient mind immune to mental health challenges.
We can remain calm when others would devolve into a triggered rage.
We nurture our most vital habit when few even consider it.
What a way to prepare for a conscious new year.
🔆
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You will be unstoppable when you allow challenges to energise you
A lot of us go through life thinking the nature of our experience is rigid.
'The world is like this, and this dictates my experience,' you say.
'I was dealt these cards, and so my life's course has essentially already been chosen.'
'I was fired from my job, so I should be depressed.'
'I sweat more easily than most people, so I should be confined to my room and never meet anyone.'
What many of us don't come to realise until perhaps it's too late is that the experience we have is extremely fluid.
Regardless of our circumstances.
I'm not advocating being a lard-arse couch potato and sitting about all day waiting for your dreams to manifest.
We must pursue the things we want.
We must be biased to movement and experimentation always.
But for whatever comes along, we can experience it very differently from the next person.
And that's where the key lies.
How we perceive anything can make or break us.
We can choose to be beaten down, or we can ride the wave.
When we fail to perceive the opportunity in a challenge, instead interpreting it as confirmation of our woes and inadequacies, we disadvantage ourselves tremendously.
It is a painful downward spiral.
When we are biased to perceiving things as joyful challenges, we will go far, and life will be a thrilling adventure.
We ask at every turn, bad or good:
'How can I use this?'
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Six uplifting little secrets about confidence I learned from a brooding dragon in a mountain cave
Not long ago, I found myself venturing far from home.
Stones clattered down the side of this path, continually rising in elevation. Mist gathered in valley grooves, and the air bit into my exposed skin.
What had started out as a twenty-minute daily walk had transmogrified into a two-day trek into the craggy mountains of the south.
I soon came to a large plume of smoke pouring out of a crack in the mountainside.
When I stepped in, I nearly tripped on the long, scaly snout of a snoozing green dragon.
After nearly choking on his own fumes, he told me his name was Ian.
Ian gave me some advice that has helped me whenever I've felt low or incapable.
I hope you're sitting comfortably..
1. You must nourish your body with things you know are good for it.
Ian did acknowledge that this was a tip few would want to hear.
He was especially keen to make it clear that those processed items that we enjoy for quick pleasure may be enjoyed as an occasional treat.
Ian has a favourite spotty yellow mushroom he likes to eat that gives him rather saucy dreams he views as a guilty pleasure. He always awakens from this slumber, groggy and lazy, however.
But what he found over the years was a different sort of pleasure.
And that is the joy he gets from sticking to the right foods while cutting out stimulants.
He tells me his confidence is through the roof since he chose to eat nourishing foods over 'pleasure-giving foods.'
The real pleasure that most miss is true nourishment.
2. You can't always be 'on,' so mould your life around the beauty of nothingness.
Ian regularly slips his ginormous reptilian form into caves and cracks, where he can be left alone for weeks to snooze, dream and reflect.
He says the time off allows him to bring the heat at twice the intensity when the world asks this of him.
We may not all have weeks, but doing a whole bunch of nothing each day might be the most productive thing you do all week.
3. You must find a cause to fuel your purpose.
It's difficult to assertively navigate an enlivened life when we don't know what we're ultimately fighting for.
Sometimes, you're already on this path without realising it. So, it can require frequent reminding.
What do you see as a significant injustice in society?
What can you do in your work and life that works towards the solution?
Even if it's in some small way, by fighting a cause, you will be flooded with confident dragon energy as needed.
4. You must refuse to weaken.
'It's a good life if you don't weaken.' - Ian the dragon.
Ian was adamant that when inevitable doubtful thoughts arise in my mind, I must be ruthless in my denial of those thoughts. 'They're only whispy thoughts,' he growled.
'Do not succumb to them.'
Weakness is mainly in the mind.
So by entertaining only strengthening thoughts and developing the skill of welcoming more of them through the door, you become strong by design.
5. The more confident things you do, the more confident you become.
This tip struck me because nowhere in his grumbly diatribe did he say you must first feel confident to take action.
I think too many people live under the philosophy that you must first 'believe in yourself' and, therefore, feel good to lean into a bold action.
No.
Boldness needn't require a confident sensation.
Confidence will be felt in your bones after the fact.
Be willing to feel timid in the right actions.
Your actions will create a confident identity.
6. True confidence is felt in the absence of neuroses.
What is meant by neuroses?
Overthinking - in a word.
When we think about ourselves and worry about how we look and how successful we are, we're deaf to life.
It's like pulling a massive woolly glove over our heads and trying to grocery shop in such a state.
We just end up bumping into things.
And so, to live life confidently, we must allow these critical, doubtful thoughts to subside.
And the way to do this, Ian says, is to turn our attention outward.
To notice things.
To help people.
To poke the box and see what happens.
It is only when we poke and prod that we can bring a fire to light.
🔆
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"content": "How I went from self-taught doodler to Google illustrator in my twenties",
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How I went from self-taught doodler to Google illustrator in my twenties
Pete, my office manager, cackled on the phone to one of our clients.
The vein on my neck throbbed harder.
'I'm never working in an office again,' I thought.
In my early twenties, I worked in an office as a property magazine researcher.
I knew that life wasn't for me.
I just felt restricted and needed more of a sense of autonomy and creative expression.
I had been developing a portfolio of designs online for a few months, hustling on the side, looking to make online income from selling my designs.
All self-taught. All from lessons I learned on YouTube.
I made a few hundred bucks a month from that.
Soon after, I landed my first illustration client on Elance - with The Singapore Business Times newspaper.
That was all the validation I needed to ditch the job and go it alone.
So, at 24 years old, I did.
I'm now 38. I haven't worked in an office since.
I've been making money with my skills on the Internet for 15 years.
No sane person would have suggested I go fully freelance without 6 months worth of savings.
I had more like 6 days.
But the yearning to break free was that strong.
I was forced to figure it all out as I went along.
No boss. No colleagues. Not even my family really understood what I was doing
The journey was not smooth by any means. I had many months where I was close to the red line and had to get creative about making money.
I had anxiety and avoided talking to clients.
Four years later, I was working for clients like the BBC, Wired Magazine, and Mars.
Google even asked to work with me.
And so I did.
Today, I don't do much design work.
I teach what I know, but the same life philosophy that served me in those earlier years serves me today.
I could end this with some feel-good line about 'if you believe in yourself enough, you can get what you want.'
But really, all you need to create the life you want is to commit to the next step and do.
There's no clever action plan needed.
One step at a time.
Painful days pass.
Stop stopping.
You always figure it out.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
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"content": "These tough life lessons took me fourteen years to learn, but you can absorb them in two mins…",
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These tough life lessons took me fourteen years to learn, but you can absorb them in two mins...
This is an exercise in distilling all my big life lessons, those I still refer to today to help me. Let me show you what I've learned:
Stand still, and you will fall back. Walk, and you stand still. Surge ahead with assertive urgency, and you will move forward.
The happiest people stopped looking for happiness because happiness is a choice, not a circumstance.
The only cure to overthinking, worry and rumination is to let go of your self-obsession and take some form of action. Action is the cure.
The most common form of self-sabotage among miserable people is to blame others for their misfortunes.
While everyone else complains about their lot, you gain a tremendous advantage simply by refusing to be weak.
The secret to success is to repeatedly do more of the same thing than most people to develop razor-sharp awareness. It doesn't get more complicated than that and applies to all areas of life.
No one is coming to help you. You must go out with courage and get what's yours.
Life isn't fair. The sooner you can make peace with this, the more peace you will have.
The most effective way to gain an unfair advantage over everyone else is to do more things that most people refuse to do.
Every hardship, mistake and 'failure' contains an opportunity or lesson within it if you are open to seeing it.
The strongest people are intimate with loss. If you can envision - even expect - losing it all, you can operate from a fearless place.
Most of us live in a world of illusion. You separate yourself from the masses by understanding this simple truth: all thoughts are lies.
The most essential life skill is remaining calm when you feel triggered. Many have lost and ruined their lives who failed to understand this.
We are all connected. Most of us don't see this and remain miserable. If you want to feel more confident, make someone else confident.
By helping another,
You help yourself.
🔆
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"content": "The permission slip you need today",
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The permission slip you need today
I watched a man arguing with himself this morning.
Gentle mutters, but an argument nonetheless.
His face was pinched with worries only he knew:
Deadlines. End-of-year stress. His ageing face. Leaving it too late to wrap the presents. Meetings.
We do this.
We fight our realities.
We rush our way through breakfast.
We draw swords when we cross the street.
We wrestle with the beauty of the right here, right now, while living in tomorrow's problems.
No wonder we're exhausted.
'So, Alex, how can we find peace when the world is so chaotic and crazy and scary?!'
Here's what decades of worry taught me:
It's never about positioning yourself to have less chaos.
Even living in the woods brings storms, frozen wells, wild cats and falling trees.
It's about learning how to put down your arms.
This isn't about giving up.
This is about coming to terms with truth.
When you relax, you're in a position to fight the real fight:
Living with purpose, joy and energy regardless of your circumstances.
The most peaceful people I know don't have perfect lives.
They simply stopped demanding that life be different.
They still plan.
Still work.
Still care.
But they've given themselves permission to be okay right now, even when things don't seem okay.
There's a lightness to how they operate.
The things you think need fixing?
Maybe they can be left alone.
You don't need to design a life of calm to find peace.
Permission granted.
🔆
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"content": "Something interesting happened today",
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Something interesting happened today
I was watching someone trying to explain what they do for a living.
They stumbled through a response, mentioning their job title, their company, their day-to-day tasks.
But I could see in their eyes they weren't convinced by their own words.
It reminded me of how I used to feel, back when I was trying to figure out my own direction.
The thing is, it's not really about what you do. It's about why you do it.
Most people never figure this out.
They spend years doing things that look good on paper but feel empty in reality.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately while developing something special for my Ember subscribers - a mini-course that helps you craft a powerful purpose statement aligned with your skills, passions, and values.
When you're clear on your purpose, everything else becomes clearer too.
Your writing becomes more focused.
Your brand becomes more magnetic.
Your energy stays consistently high.
Life has a stronger sense of meaning.
Even on the hard days, you know why you're showing up, and that has helped me more than anything.
What's your purpose?
Write it down in a sentence. Who do you help? How do you help them? What do you help them with?
Knowing this will turn your life around.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Seven unconventional forms of 'therapy' that will make you feel 11x more alive
We live in a soft world where the slightest sign of discomfort can be regarded with concern and even panic.
Someone say something you found hurtful?
Time to go to a therapist, who can make you feel worse about your issues because now you're talking about them - emphasising them.
Therapy has its place, especially if you need that initial pull out of the quagmire of overthinking by someone who can provide a third-party view.
But often, your mental health will benefit from these 'unconventional' approaches far more effectively:
1. Having tough conversations
Most of us have been so conditioned to avoid conflict that we skip having needed conversations with people out of habit.
But the difficult, open and honest discussions often solve your problems.
Poor communication will ensure people remain resentful and confused with bottled emotions.
Take some courage, say the hard thing to those who need to hear it, and feel the relief rise.
2. Exchanging reactivity for creativity.
Reacting to things is allowing external stimuli to guide your behaviour without thought.
Someone triggers you, and you fly into a rage.
Someone dumps you, and you're miserable for weeks, crying into endless tubs of ice cream.
To react is to die slowly.
The alternative is always to create - and it's what humans were built to do. It's the expression of your humanness.
So create and live.
Make something of your predicament. Don't react and die.
3. Taking small steps towards your fears.
Much of the time, if we're feeling low and we can't describe why it's a sign we're allowing fear to control our lives.
We're trapped and limited by our own self-imposed limitations.
Don't allow this to go on.
Identify your fears. Call them out by name.
Then ask, 'what's one tiny step I can make today that will bring me confidence in this area?'
No matter how 'simple,' do it. Practice always diminishes fear.
This is a priority because breaking free of limits always matters.
4. Stop freaking worrying.
A huge chunk of the population believes there is some value to worrying. 'It keeps them safe.'
No. No, it doesn't. It keeps you miserable.
And you already know this. So, instead of ruminating on what's wrong with your life and what you need to 'fix' about yourself, redirect your attention to things you can control.
You can choose gratitude.
You can also choose to quit worrying and take up a new hobby.
You can choose to be present and in the flow of action. Your choice.
Salvation from pain lies here.
5. Going on 'dangerous' adventures.
I'm not talking about being reckless. That's just dumb.
But there is something to be said for activities that contain some considered risk.
How can we ever feel alive if we don't ever taste an echo of death?
Be willing to take some calculated and pre-determined risks.
Go on a motorcycle trip to India. Climb a mountain. Ask someone out. Write the book you're scared to write. Run a class. Go on regular adventures that push you out of comfort, leaving you exhilarated.
This is the best kind of 'vaccine' for weakness there is.
6. Doing the 'thing.'
We all have that thing we know we should do that we keep holding off and avoiding.
Maybe you need to finally clean your stinking mould circus that is your kitchen.
Or perhaps you need to sign up to that class so you can finally get some socialising time in this year.
Whatever it is, we all have that 'thing' that eats at our soul because we aren't doing it.
What is that thing? Put the damn thing in your calendar, and get it done.
Now THAT's therapy.
7. Be a mentor.
A sense of sadness or even depression is often attached to the idea that difficult things are happening to us.
A far more empowered self-vision is to view things happening because of us.
This is to immediately assume a leadership position, and it instantly feels better.
Don't allow yourself to melt into misery by feeling sorry for yourself.
Why?
Snap out it.
Life sucks for all of us. You're no different.
Life is how you make it. So make it great and turn your attention to leading, mentoring and helping others.
Forget you, for God's sake, please. If you feel anxious, help others feel calm. If you're lonely, go and make someone else feel good. If you feel stuck, go and help a friend get unstuck.
It's all about where you put your attention. Leaders don't self-obsess - they lead.
🔆
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Why your happiness doesn't need to rely on other people
Do you know what our most significant source of ongoing hardship is?
It is the driver behind all wars, all suffering, all murder, even physical disease.
It is the pernicious and societally-pushed belief that our personal happiness and sense of fulfilment relies on other people.
'My happiness relies on how others treat me.'
I am the taker.
'Your happiness relies on being loved by another.'
You are the taker.
'Our well-being as a nation relies on taking from others so that we can have more well-being as a group.'
We are the takers.
Our strategy for happiness is in the TAKING.
So we tell ourselves:
I rely on others for my happiness. I need others to approve of me. I need others to validate me. I need others to love me. I need others to like me.
And when they don't...
My self-worth goes tail up and noses down.
Down it will go...
We feel the depression of a made-up lie.
This seemingly innocuous thought is keeping us deeply, beautifully (and occasionally comically) miserable.
The thought - and believe me - it IS just a thought - holds us back from not only living our joy, but it also keeps us from making an impact in the world.
When we drop the thought, we see that we are an endless source of peace. It is within us. We are already enough.
And guess what?
When you see this, your intention on this crazy planet will shift.
Your job is now to spread that love and to inspire happiness in others.
That's all there is to it.
It makes us feel better. It makes others feel better.
It's great for the economy.
It's great for business.
It's brilliant for physical health.
It's super for relationships.
And it's everything for you.
🔆
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Ten little actions that make you more confident than 95% of people
By making small and simple changes, we can impact our self-perception and energise ourselves quickly.
These ideas have always helped me, and they will propel you far beyond the masses.
1. Stand a fraction taller.
Our sense of confidence and posture is a two-way highway. Feel confident, and our posture tends to respond.
Walk tall, and we colour our vibe with confidence.
So start with good posture.
You're not Quasimodo.
2. Focus on making others feel more confident.
When we feel like we lack confidence, the issue - nine times out of ten - is that we're thinking about ourselves and how we're coming across too much.
Chill, Winston.
It isn't all about you.
You'll feel notably better when you focus on helping other poor souls feel more confident.
Do that, and you won't even have to worry about your confidence, which will improve by itself.
3. Energy audit.
We can't live our most significant potential if we feel like microwaved cat puke.
Everything starts with mastering energy.
This means doing everything possible to develop a healthier body that uses energy properly.
We do this via improving our sleep, exercise and diet and decreasing shit we allow in, like scrolling ass on Instagram or being obsessed with corn dogs.
An energy audit lists all those things that are bad for you and those that lift you.
Write one up, so you have awareness on how to optimise.
4. Cut out one bad habit.
In the book the Slight Edge, Jeff Olson talks about how we're either moving in an upward or downward spiral.
It's binary.
By identifying one bad habit that holds you back and taking action to decrease or quit, you're pushing the wheel in the upward spiral direction.
Taking responsibility like this, even on something seemingly small, will impact all other areas of your life.
5. Slow down.
What message does rushing around like a lizard on heroin transmit to others and yourself?
That's right. You're out of control.
Slowing down physically, right down to your breathing rate, does a marvellous thing.
It calms you down while simultaneously making life easier because it's no longer a blur, AND you give off a chill, higher-status vibe.
6. Simplify.
There's an interesting correlation I've seen between confidence and simplicity.
Simplicity doesn't necessarily dictate confidence, but by reducing the options we face, the less is on our minds and the more success we will likely see in any one thing.
It's easy to lose faith and get frustrated when we make our lives overly complicated.
Sit down and ask yourself where in your life you can simplify things.
You'll find many ways to do so, and your confidence will rise as you create order in your world.
7. Do one hard thing within 5 minutes.
Many of us feel bad because we've got all this crap we have to do that we've been avoiding.
We lose faith in ourselves, especially when we see that pile of socks growing larger.
Make it easy.
Identify one thing you've been avoiding that you can tackle in five minutes.
Now you have belief and momentum that will feed into your subsequent actions.
8. Affirm your awesomeness.
Stand up tall, walk to the nearest mirror, look at yourself square in the eye, and say:
'I am a giga badass warrior nutter.'
Say it 8 times and feel your inner warrior spirit rise.
9. Let go of self-criticism.
As I've said many times, confidence isn't a place to get to - it's a place to come from. We're already naturally 'confident.'
It's just that we cover over it with all the critical thinking about ourselves that we entertain.
If we believe our thoughts, we will feel shitty and act scared.
Letting go of these thoughts and returning to what's right in front of you in the present moment is a habit.
But it's absolutely vital.
10. Forgive your past self.
Many of us hold lots of shame and regret about things we did in our past. We're slaves to the past and our lack of forgiveness.
To forgive yourself, you need to see why you had very rational reasons for doing what you did. We're always doing the best we can, given the state of mind we have in the moment.
What were your reasons?
Write them down.
Understanding is the root of forgiveness, a clearer mind, and thus confidence.
Don't let your life go by without realising and expressing your brilliance.
🔆
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Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Why you must have a 'make the first move' mindset
I've spent most of my life shy and reserved around others.
Kidding myself into thinking that that was my 'personality' and that's that.
I've since learned this is nonsense.
What if 'introversion' was a myth?
I have been shy, but it doesn't mean I AM shy.
I can make the first move. I can create opportunities.
I can extrovert when it is required and build the life of my dreams. So can you.
It's not about personality. It's about timing.
It's about practice.
I realised this long ago, and so I changed.
I made the first move. Over and over again. And my life has changed.
So make the first move.
The world is moving on, regardless of your problems; your stresses; your fears; your hang-ups and your regrets.
Get over yourself. You must act to see opportunities and things HAPPENING.
No one is coming to save you.
It's down to you now.
Get into the habit of making the first move.
Even the small things. It's a muscle to be honed.
It's nothing to do with how you are. It's not about who you are. It's about what you do, with courage.
Talk to that person in the elevator.
Smile at people who walk past.
Reconnect with that friend who won't contact you.
Reach out to people you want to work with, and be hungry.
Surprise people with your give-a-shit attitude. Because you do. You're alive!
Aloofness is old news.
You must act.
The world gets out of your way when you do.
🔆
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Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Eight uncomfortable truths about why some people are instantly likeable
I spent years watching people who seemed to make friends without trying.
The kind of people others are drawn to immediately, almost magnetically.
What I discovered made me a little uncomfortable. Because it wasn't what any of the social skill books told me.
Here are some unexpected things that make people more likeable:
1. They make others feel slightly off-balance
Most people try to make others comfortable all the time.
But I've noticed the most likeable people often do the opposite. They create tiny moments of uncertainty.
They might pause a beat too long before responding. Or say something slightly unexpected. Or react in a way you didn't anticipate.
They'll break a pattern just when you think you've figured them out.
This slight unpredictability makes others lean in, pay attention, and want more.
2. They're willing to be disliked
Ever notice this?
⮕ The most likeable people are often most comfortable with being disliked.
I watched someone do this at dinner last week. They shared an opinion they knew might be unpopular. Not to be controversial - just because it was what they actually thought.
When others disagreed, they didn't backtrack or soften their stance.
Their comfort with potential rejection made everyone else feel safer being real. The room relaxed. It's like they're giving others permission to stop people-pleasing too.
3. They don't try to fill every silence
Most people panic when conversation lulls. They rush to fill the void, to keep things moving, to avoid any hint of awkwardness.
But likeable people are willing to let silence wash over. They're comfortable here, just as they are comfortable in the frenzy of conversation.
They understand that connection doesn't require constant noise.
Their comfort in silence shows others they don't have to perform. They turn silence from something to fear into something to appreciate.
4. They let you catch them being imperfect
Attractive people aren't always polished.
They let you see them mess up.
Not in a calculated "here's my carefully curated flaw" way. But in a "whoops, I totally mishandled that" way. They'll laugh at their mistakes. Share their awkward moments. Let you see them learning.
Real imperfection is more attractive than manufactured perfection.
5. They don't hide their boundaries
Most people try to seem eternally available and always agreeable.
They nod along mindlessly, hoping to curry favour. But the likeable? They'll tell you straight up what doesn't work for them.
They'll say no. Leave early. Disagree openly. Skip the party if they're not feeling it. And they do it without apology or excessive explanation. Just clean, clear boundaries.
Their clear boundaries demonstrate their willingness to do what it takes to protect their energy, which is attractive.
6. They don't try to be more 'exciting' than they feel
Here's an interesting one: likeable people aren't trying to be likeable at all.
If they're tired, they say so. If they're not feeling social, they don't fake it. If they're excited, they show it.
Their energy level matches their actual state, not what they think others want to see.
You don't need to be smiling Mr Nice Guy all the time.
7. They let others teach them things
While most people are out here trying to be impressive - showing how clever they are, with lots to prove, likeable people want to learn. And they don't hold back.
They'll ask questions about topics they know nothing about. They're willing to ask the dumb questions. They'll let others explain things to them. They'll show genuine curiosity about others' expertise, even in areas they might consider basic.
Their willingness to be the student makes others feel valued for what they know.
It's an unexpected form of generosity.
8. They break tiny social rules
Those who have an aura around them often ignore small social conventions.
They might sit on the floor when everyone else is in chairs. They start eating before everyone is served. They may answer a question with a question.
They make small rebellions that make others question their own social programming.
Their gentle rule-breaking makes others feel more free to be themselves.
Main takeaway:
Being likeable is often about being willing to be exactly who you are, even when that feels uncomfortable.
And, most of all, this isn't about trying to be liked. It's about having the courage to lean towards what's true. People love this.
Few are born this way.
It's a practice you can improve.
Take this in small steps.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Why sharing our struggles brings us closer
Ever read something and thought, this person gets me?
It's never the posts where someone's celebrating how perfect their life is.
It's often when we encounter someone willing to reveal their flaws, pains, stumbles and how they overcame it, that has us hooked.
We lean in for more.
Why?
Because we're highly attentive to pain.
It's how our survival mechanism works.
Not only that, but when we come across someone else's hardships, we see a human, and we see ourselves.
We connect best through what is real.
Most creators miss this.
Especially the ones who are just starting out. They want to be impressive.
They want to be admired and to look cool and to never put a foot 'wrong.'
But the irony here is that relatability comes from sharing what we recognise in ourselves, not in seeing someone else's achievement (without the journey).
All good writing shows some kind of transformation.
If there is only the success and none of the transformation, we switch off.
It's why movies can grab us so intently.
We put ourselves in the shoes of the protagonist. And the main character always faces conflict and strife.
Find me a good movie or story where this doesn't happen.
Good luck.
As a brand-builder, you are a storyteller. And no good story is without conflict.
What struggles can you share?
Doing more of this will not only bring you fans,
But it will grow your confidence.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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This is what separates an amateur from a master
Though I'm by no means a 'master,' from what I've seen, an amateur is physically tight and mentally loose (think of a newbie golfer compared to a pro).
They are not yet focused on what they control, nor do they know what they CAN control; their bodies are rigid, often nervous and not yet accustomed to flowing through their work, free of resistance.
Over time and with practice, an amateur can move along the spectrum towards mastery:
A 'master' is characterised by physical looseness, and tightness of mind (Think Bruce Lee and Picasso). Tight mentally because they are in the moment and exert a strictness over their minds when they do wander.
Masters don't concern themselves with what they cannot control.
With practice, patience, and a training of the mind, you will move towards mastery.
—
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Seven habits that separate high achievers from the average person
We tend to tie achievement to talent, intelligence, wit and intellectual prowess.
If we look at those who get far and master skills at incredibly high levels, we see it's less about these things and more about emotional strength.
Let's take a closer look...
1. Ruthless with distractions.
Creating momentum is extremely difficult when we allow ourselves to be distracted.
Distractions take many forms, including other potential projects, online distractions, other people's requests, and the negative thoughts that show up in our own skulls.
High achievers are aware of this compelling and powerful force. But they override its pull day after day.
They continually re-prioritise their primary objectives.
You must be clear on your priorities and deny anything that undermines them like a maniac.
2. 'Unreasonably' persistent.
In ancient times, humans would continually face life or death situations that prompted them to act with ferocious levels of persistence to survive.
Today, the need to persist is a seemingly alien experience for many because of the comfortable world in which we now live.
But without persistence, very little of brilliance can be developed. It takes masses of work and attention over long periods to make an impact in anything.
This requires continual awareness on your target, regardless of how 'forced' this can sometimes seem.
High achievers know when to pivot, but they refuse to quit.
3. Willing to look strange.
It's nearly impossible to be on a journey of high achievement without a willingness to appear odd to the general 'normie' masses.
If you didn't feel self-conscious or, to some degree an outsider, this would indicate that you aren't transcending your societally-imposed boundaries.
Going beyond these emotional indicators leads to significant outcomes. This is part of the experience.
It can be lonely at the top, but high achievers get this and accept it.
They are driven by the ultimate thrill of self-growth and inspiring those around them to grow.
4. They possess inhuman patience.
In this quick-fix swipe-right uber eats world, most of us are conditioned to expect results fast.
There may be more convenience, but it has also instilled in us an acute form of impatience to the point of irritability if we don't get what we want quickly.
This is deadly for any creative endeavour worth putting time into. Nothing of any significance materialises quickly. Attempting shortcuts will only set you back further.
You must nurture an uncommon level of patience for whatever you set your mind to.
5. They act the part.
True winners understand the malleable nature of 'personality.'
We can choose to wake up and be whoever we need to be given what we want to create in our realities.
We create our reality; we don't suck our thumbs and wait for a sunny day.
Winners create goals that encourage a leaning into their potential, and then they mould themselves to this vision through action, posture and general demeanour right now, today.
Be the kind of person who achieves the dreams you want today.
6. They are ok with pain.
It is rare to experience physical hardship or pain as we once did years ago.
We may have less external discomfort, but pain in our lives will always be there whether we pursue lofty goals or choose to stay comfortable.
So high achievers create momentum through an acceptance and tolerance to pain, mainly at the psychological level.
Elite high achievers take it a step further and actively seek out pain and find a way to enjoy the more challenging moments in life and business.
But here's the thing: when they do, they barely perceive it as 'pain' at all.
7. Do things the best it can be done.
Most people are oblivious to a subtle force that constrains them within boundaries set by those who came before.
In other words, few of us have the courage or foresight to transcend pre-established (social) boundaries because of a deep need to conform.
High achievers actively look for these boundaries and - instead of doing their best within these delineations - aim to go further than has ever been done before.
They aim to do things the best it can be done, whether it is to go further than anyone else or to bring their own unique spin to an old approach.
High achievers want nothing less than to be pioneers and innovators.
Final: you must be willing to appear 'odd' relative to the general populace.
Expect to feel different; stay your course, and the world will look on in awe.
—
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Avoid these ten subtle behaviours if you want people to respect you more
Years of awkwardness compelled me to want to learn about what attracts one another.
People make judgements extremely quickly about the kind of person we are.
This means there are tiny changes we all can make that impact how others see us.
Let's go:
1. Rushing speech
Many of us talk quickly for many reasons, including being jacked up on coffee and excited about what we're saying.
There are nuances here, as always, and sometimes it's a good thing to speak at a similar pace to your counterpart.
But the message this often transmits is you aren't comfortable in your words. It's like grabbing a hot cake and throwing it back quickly.
When we give ourselves time to speak, finding the right words becomes a lot easier, putting others at ease, and people will have more faith in what we're saying.
2. Lack of attention.
Being attentive to someone in person and listening is not a submissive act.
Scrolling your phone while in conversation doesn't make you look cool.
It makes you look like a child. Be there with someone.
Demonstrate your interest and be genuinely interested.
Presence has a power to it.
This will attract people to you like little else.
3. Too fast to agree.
If I'm speaking with someone, and they nod along enthusiastically to all that I say, and they rarely disagree, I can't help but lose interest.
This doesn't mean you need to be combative and unpleasant.
But agreeing to everything and everyone is like adding water to paint.
It dilutes who you are in my eyes.
4. Interrupting.
I see this happening at a seemingly increasing rate in the modern, distracted age.
This is frustrating if I'm speaking and you can't wait to interject with your opinion as I'm talking.
Yet this appears to be tolerated by many.
The speaker might allow you to trample all over their comments, but deep down, they don't respect you for this.
Let others finish their thought, and be ok with some silences in a conversation.
Cutting in plainly demonstrates we lack faith in our own words. Why?
Because we are continually compelled to prove ourselves, rather than relaxing and giving the other space, which is a leadership move.
5. Taking stuff too seriously.
I've been guilty of this because I can get in my head and over-analyse.
Find ways to enjoy yourself, no matter the context.
Don't be the guy who brings the heaviness and sucks the energy out of a room.
This happens when you're judgemental in mind and spirit. Be light-hearted, and focus on lifting those around you.
6. Avoiding high-flame topics.
'High-flame' means using courage in your communication.
Speaking your truth.
Being willing to say what others might avoid.
This depends on how far into a relationship you are with someone, and different contexts determine the appropriateness of chosen topics.
But if you're continually avoiding 'edgier' issues or tougher words to avoid causing offence, you will be seen as merely 'nice.'
That's ok, but is 'nice' the legacy you want to leave?
7. Devaluing your time.
If you're quick to drop everything to help us, you might be pleasing, but what else does it say about you?
Pleasing others is not the same as maintaining self-respect. This is a hard lesson for many to learn.
We all grew up knowing the rewards of pleasing parents and teachers.
This doesn't apply in the adult world. Pleasing others at the expense of your integrity and freedom is not empowering. Instead, honour yourself first.
If you do decide to help others, make sure you both gain in the process: i.e. you do it out of a genuine desire to help, not to impress.
8. Self-analysing.
Being overly conscious of how I was coming across and what I was saying was a problem for me growing up.
When speaking with people, I'd continually judge what I'd said in a bid to be liked.
This self-monitoring meant I was never IN the conversation - but rather in my thoughts ABOUT the conversation.
Ironically this puts us at even more of a performance disadvantage, and you will lose people.
9. Reacting to criticism.
It's easy to believe that being non-reactive to the criticisms of others is a weak move.
Surely if someone disrespects us, we need to react - to put them down, to assert our strength?
No.
Reacting says this: you aren't comfortable in your skin, and you have something to protect and to prove.
This approach is rooted in lack, and people sense this instantly.
Instead, smile, tease, make light, and move on.
10. Relying on outcomes.
In other words: being needy.
Humans are very attuned to neediness in other people.
Perhaps we want her to agree to a second date, or we desperately want that client sale.
If we're reliant on a 'successful' outcome, it pollutes our behaviour in the moment.
We get tight. We take things personally when they don't go to plan.
Our performance is hampered.
It makes us look like we have few options, which immediately decreases our perceived status.
To finish: the common thread is the need to get out of our heads and be more in a present flow.
But if all the above ideas are in our heads, we will not be calm and present.
So, absorb what I've shared, and come back to this often.
Allow these ideas to become second nature through practice.
But when you're out in the 'field,'
Let it all go.
Be open to your innate wisdom.
You always know what to do next.
Relax in the uncertainty of it all.
This is how you surprise yourself.
🔆
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Be more productive by thinking less
I used to overthink like it was a national sport.
This happened because I felt I needed more control over my chaotic life.
I didn't know what decision to make. So I'd think it through.
I'd hold off on trying things and experimenting.
Stuck in thinking, the same thing would happen again and again:
I'd become overwhelmed by the volume of thoughts swirling. Then I'd just get angry with myself and spend the rest of the afternoon sulking.
Learning that the solution wasn't to think harder took me a while. It was to think less.
But it wasn't about playing dumb.
I needed to do more.
When we throw ourselves into things, do more and think less, something interesting happens.
A secondary guidance system splutters into motion.
We receive ever more wise insights about what's worth doing.
With a stiller mind (because you're in motion), you are operating from a different place; a place of instinct rather than fear.
And things feel like they click.
I realised I didn't need to plan everything so hard. I just needed to chill the f*ck out and go with the flow.
Flow brings rewards that touch few people.
Instead of running around like a crazed chicken in heat, we make good decisions too.
Thinking is great. It helps us design, create and envision.
But we can rely on it too heavily, not realising that a new, fresher kind of thought is there to discover when we relax.
The best decisions don't come from hours of forced thinking.
They come from those "aha" moments when your mind is quiet and open and doing other things.
There's a reason many of these come when we're out walking. Physical motion stills the mind.
So, if you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed, take a breath, and trust that your guidance system will show you the way.
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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How to let go of your past and enjoy your life
Looking back over my past, I can see most of my problems stemmed from my inability to disconnect.
I'd allow past events to determine my present behaviours.
For example, if someone once labelled me as 'shy,' or 'boring,' I allowed those labels to inform my current personality.
I bought into various beliefs about who I was.
I was literally being held prisoner by my past.
We are all, to some degree, limited by our 'pasts.'
Here's the truth:
We are happier and more effective when we let go of the past.
Knowing why it's hard to let go is the first step to being free.
Let's learn more, so we can be free:
The 'past' is not a thing.
It seems like a genuine, tangible entity, but in reality, the past, much like the future, is not real.
It is merely a series of present moments. Time passing is a man-made construct. We create the compelling illusion in our minds that the past is real when it is not.
All we have and ever have had is the present moment. And what is here? Pure consciousness.
Pure sensory awareness. Your only 'problems' are strained through the filter of perspective.
There is nothing to worry about in the present because you are here. Reflect on this for a moment.
Memories are time-stamps, not teachers.
Memories allow us to store and retrieve information to protect ourselves. That's it.
Being the complex humans we are, we often try to find personal meaning in memories.
It is our belief that memories tell us something about who we are, which creates problems.
For example, we think we are unintelligent because we once said something thoughtless and were criticised for it. We make it personal. We believe memories should define our current personalities and enforce our current behaviours.
This traps us and limits us. We are misusing memory as a guide instead of as a recording tool.
The past does not accumulate physically.
If we had a traumatic event, it might seem that the trauma lives on in the body physically or that our brains were damaged or reprogrammed in the process.
Many gurus will espouse this, but it just perpetuates the problem.
We think this is true because of the powerful effect thoughts have on our emotional experience. If we had a difficult time in the past, the human survival response is to prioritise the thought and the accompanying emotion of that thought.
We push that thought and emotion (the tug on your throat, or the ping in your chest) to the forefront more of the time, especially when a threat is perceived.
We can get into the habit of feeling a thought over and over.
A thought merely arising is not the problem. Instead, our tendency to continue ruminating on that thought causes issues.
We don't need to. It's like picking at a wound. If we can leave the wound alone, we are free of the trauma, and the less likely our brains are to bring up that protective thought.
The longer we hold onto the belief that we need to rewire our brains and 'heal' ourselves, the longer it will seemingly stay with us. It's totally counterintuitive.
The past is NOT an excuse.
The truth can often sting. Most people who are stuck in the past, and continue to struggle today, WANT to suffer. Yes, I said it.
Many use their complicated past as an excuse for present failures. The past becomes a badge of honour or a protective shield.
You need to be honest with yourself about the degree to which this is true for you.
It is valid to some extent for all of us. Until you're willing to take responsibility for it all - both your mistakes and your successes, you will never taste true freedom.
You will never know what it means to be yourself.
This might seem like we're taking something away. In fact, this understanding was a tremendous gift for me.
I was free of the excuses and now free to take radical ownership. This is exciting.
Perhaps the solution is becoming more apparent to you now.
Your way out is in seeing the illusion of the past and its associated false meanings.
Most people have an unhealthy obsession with their histories.
But you can be free right here, right now.
You have chosen to be free of it by seeing the past for what it is.
It's the best thing you can do for yourself.
Now you can return to what matters most - enjoying the present.
What do you choose?
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Why writing fewer words will make your readers hungry for more
When I look at some of my earlier writing, I notice how my paragraphs were often long-winded.
They carried a weighty baggage. Beginner writers tend to write more than is necessary.
Take a look at the following sentences. The first can be said in far fewer words, as is demonstrated by the second sentence:
Long-winded: "The reason for my absence from the meeting is that I was not feeling well due to a severe headache and, as a result, I thought it would be better for me to stay home and rest."
Concise: "I missed the meeting because I had a severe headache and needed to rest."
And another example:
Long-winded: "In light of the fact that we have a sufficient quantity of apples available, it would be my recommendation that we proceed with the plan to bake several apple pies for the upcoming gathering."
Concise: "Since we have plenty of apples, let's bake apple pies for the event."
It's often because we compensate for our perceived lack of experience by adding more words.
It's as if by writing more, we'll be more persuasive and come across as more professional. But it works the other way. The best writing says what it needs to say and adds nothing further. Great writers are always on the lookout for redundant words and fluff that can be chopped.
We may get nervous about adopting such a habit, especially if we want to reach a specific daily word count.
If we're long-winded, we get away with writing more and hit our word counts sooner. Right? Absolutely, but the result is fluffy, bloated writing that's a pain to read. It leads to writing that loses the writer's credibility.
Is that worth reaching your word count sooner?
You must remember that the primary purpose of any writing is ultimately to serve the reader.
No one needs yet more information. We have enough of that already. The reader's time is precious, and so by delivering more words than needed, we are taking from the reader. This will be felt. The reader will go elsewhere where a similar message can be delivered more succinctly.
Read some of Ernest Hemingway's works for a superb demonstration of writing with brevity. He became a beloved writer, not only by immersing his readers in exotic adventures but because he kept it brief. It made for intoxicating writing. Clarity does this. It sticks in the mind.
You know what? I'll give you a paragraph right here. It's from Hemingway's greats, 'The Old Man and the Sea...'
"He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish. In the first forty days a boy had been with him. But after forty days without a fish, the boy's parents had told him that the old man was now definitely and finally salao, which is the worst form of unlucky, and the boy had gone at their orders in another boat which caught three good fish the first week. It made the boy sad to see the old man come in each day with his skiff empty and he always went down to help him carry either the coiled lines or the gaff and harpoon and the sail that was furled around the mast. The sail was patched with flour sacks and, furled, it looked like the flag of permanent defeat."
See what I mean? No fluff. Every line moves the story forward in the intended direction. And this, of course, applies to non-fiction too.
But unlike what many noobs might be concerned about, taking out everything but the bare essentials does not make for low-quality writing. It makes the writing sing.
It's like hearing someone who constantly lies finally tell the truth. Relaying the world through simple writing is refreshing and easy to read.
You don't want your reader to struggle through what you're saying. You can write as much as you like in an earlier draft. In fact, I encourage you to do this.
Make it fat and ugly to start. You don't want to self-censor too early. But when it comes to refining the piece, be ready to cull. Do as William Faulkner said and 'kill your darlings.'
This is not always easy. As he says, there will often be a line or a turn of phrase that you adore. But if it in no way adds to the flow and meaning of the passage, you must take the knife and liberate it.
Your readers will be thankful for your straight-to-point communication style. It's what brings people back to my writing time and time again.
Side note. I must admit I do often throw in a silly word here and there, and I'm not shy of sprinkling in some adverbs too. Many have said that adverbs and over-the-top descriptive words are not necessary. But you need also to view things through the lens of voice, which we'll discuss later. I sometimes embellish what I write in some articles because it matches my more flamboyant voice for that piece.
Err on the side of simplicity, but don't sandblast all the character out of the writing either.
What's most important is that you know the main message you're sharing, and you stay within the parameters of that message. No aimless wandering.
Use all the words your piece needs, but no more.
🔆
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Fourteen fun alternatives to watching woke crap on Netflix
Woke shite on Netflix is out.
Learning, reading and creating dope shit that makes you money is in.
Here are some ideas for replacing the drivel tube:
Read fat fiction thriller books while drinking coconut water - then pile those books up in a corner of your room like a fiction-reading hero badass.
Write short, flash fictional pieces that exercise your story-telling muscle and surprise you over time with your clever ability to play with words, descriptions, and details that people grow to love.
Watch 30 Bob Ross videos and then paint your own pictures that you can sell online as a dope arty side hustle so you get an excuse to grow a dirty great afro and have a break from screwing your face up at a screen all day.
Read Substack newsletters about money, history and psychology that make you fractionally more intelligent every day so you can show off at pub quizzes when the time requires this of you.
Learn how to cook and apply this knowledge in the kitchen, then serve groups of people for dinner with sickening levels of arm-waving flourishes and appalling banter that ensures wide grins.
Build a retreat business that gets six of your subscribers together in a remote location so that you can test their wits in a challenging survival situation, build a sense of camaraderie, and accumulate insane yearly experiences that also pay your bills.
Spend 10 minutes each day brainstorming creativity lists that take all kinds of ideas around what is working in your life and cool ideas you're drawn to that you combine into innovative hybrids that you can use to start new projects, stories, businesses and written articles.
Build an elite, muscular body in the gym, not as a chore, but because you enjoy seeing and feeling your body, mind, and spirit transform from frightened, pencil arm dweeb to nip-flexing demi-god.
Read non-fiction books that get you excited about all the cool shit you can build for other people while making stacks of cash and, ideally residual income that takes four hours per week to maintain.
Buy a sketchbook and get into the habit of drawing the stuff around you and getting better and better at it, so that you can eventually rip the drawings out and sell them through your blog for $250 per original drawing like a modern day Picasso.
Learn about Bitcoin and blockchain and how it's the future of money and will sit at the centre of the next technological revolution.
Write your own newsletter about all the cool shit you're learning each day and then occasionally promote a mini-course you made so that you start earning money from your writing.
Sell tickets to an online workshop you run via zoom that gives people the opportunity to learn about some unique skill you've picked up over the years in an intimate space that allows for people to engage and ask questions in real-time without any of you needing to get on a plane.
Write hilarious blog articles and threads that make you giggle like a possessed maniac in a public place that loads of people may or may not read, but either way, it's cool because it's a fun release which is great for your mental health.
You will win when you prioritise your creativity over mindless consumption.
Sure, enjoy some tv sometimes as a reward, but real, long-term, authentic joy comes from transferring your energy into creative things that the world enjoys too.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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"content": "I couldn’t call in sick",
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I couldn't call in sick
(I was in Tokyo)
While living in Vietnam years ago, I was invited to speak at a Behance event in Tokyo.
I'd been writing online for a few years, slowly building my online presence.
Standing in front of a crowd to share my thoughts with the pressure of needing to make it work made me very nervous.
The night before my talk, I ate some raw seafood with the hosts. Mistake.
By the next morning, I was battling one of the worst food poisonings I'd ever had.
The next day - the day of the talk - I was weak, nauseous, and wishing for nothing more than to stay in my bed igloo.
I seriously considered backing out. But how could I?
I'd flown all the way to Tokyo for this one moment.
So, I just went.
I walked all the way there in the cool December air to clear my head.
Light-headed and swaying slightly in front of about 50 people, I gave my talk.
I remember thinking things couldn't get much worse, so I found myself relaxing.
Somehow, I got through it. It worked.
In fact, it turned out to be one of the better talks I've given.
Food poisoning aside, none of this would've happened if I hadn't spent years writing online.
Writing gave me a voice. It allowed people to see what I was about long before they ever met me. It created trust and led to opportunities I couldn't have planned for.
That's the beauty of writing consistently online.
Done well, it doesn't just put words out into the void. It builds relationships, clears the thoughts in your head, and gives you options.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Life significantly improves when you understand these two choices
I've been criticised all my life.
Mostly, these centre around being 'too quiet,' 'boring,' 'serious,' 'morose,'' 'sleepy,' 'like I've just woken up,' and 'angry.'
I'm pretty introverted, have slitty eyes, and it can look like I'm sleepy and grumpy a lot of the time.
Of course, being criticised doesn't make me unique or a special case. Nor does it mean that this reflects who I really am, or how I feel, or that I haven't had people praise me for my confidence too.
But I cling to the comments that have bothered me the most. And these are the ones that have turned into a complex for me like a gnarly toad stuck on my back.
The complex can be self-fulfilling.
If I'm worried about how 'boring' others think I am, then I tighten up, act defensively, and hey presto - I'm no fun to be around.
An ideal world for me would be one in which everyone continually said how awesome, cool and fun I am while avoiding any and all forms of negative judgement.
I'm guessing it's the same for you, right?
Not going to happen.
Now, with this, I have a choice - we have a choice.
We can live life safely, avoid any chance of criticism from others, and hide away in dark solitude. Opportunities for self-expansion and personal and professional success are profoundly limited here.
Alternatively, If I'm to experience a life of depth, and opportunity - to traverse bravely along the spectrum of full personal potential, I can take a breath, wince briefly in the face of uncertainty, step up, suck in the shit of fear and have the courage to be disliked, judged, rejected, and even laughed at publicly.
That's the choice we all have. We all have insecurities. We all have wounds and weak spots. Things we cannot bear to reveal and be 'found out' for.
But if we want to experience a life - not only of tremendous growth, friendships and wealth - but one free of regret, we need to do what all the greats have done: to step into the void.
At some point or another, anyone who went further than the world expected them to (i.e. average Joe), made the decision -whether consciously or not - to bring on the abuse.
'Screw it,' they said. 'It's time. I'm done with mediocre. Bring on the abuse.'
They accepted the fact that to stretch themselves and be known for their skills, ideas and talents, they would have to face the possibility of criticism in some form.
Can you think of an instance when you didn't want to do something that scared you, but you did it anyway, and came away with a tremendous benefit, even if the 'only' advantage was a boost in self-confidence?
I'm sure you have.
By taking risks, particularly social risks, no matter if you're an 'extrovert', an 'introvert,' a 'creative' or a 'salesman,' you will open yourself up to two guarantees:
The potential to be rejected.
The potential to make big wins.
You cannot have the second without the first.
Many of us, like I have, will choose to reduce our exposure to potential rejection as much as we can.
We will stay at home and choose the easier route. We will keep quiet in the lift. We will not raise our hand when our heart is beating hard against our chest.
Most of our fears will not materialise anyway. It's comical how rarely they do.
"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." ― Mark Twain
But you need to be willing to get out there, and be disliked in exchange for 'exposure.'
And I mean actually looking stupid, over facing the potential to look stupid. You need to be ok with both.
Exposure creates opportunity and will bring tangible results faster. Exposure builds confidence.
Exposure and vulnerability will, possibly ironically, attract many people to you too.
Share your art. Walk up to new people. Ask for help. Publish that blog post. Sell your services at high prices. Get on a stage.
Lean into exposure, and do it as much as you can.
Exposure is risk. But no one lived a rich life who didn't take risks.
You must. Like I must. Because to deny it is to deny the evolution of your best self.
And, it's not about trying to be liked. It's about sharing your truth and your value, feeling the rush of doing that in front of other people - and being accepting of the tendency for a small group who will always dislike the things you do (100% guaranteed, mostly because they are rejecting themselves).
Think for a moment about what kind of a person you could be.
Who is the best version of yourself? Where can they go?
Do you think, somewhere inside you, is someone capable of inspiring people deeply?
I think there is. That person is there, and they just need to be guided, nourished, and nurtured.
What kind of exposure does your best self need?
Where does your best self need to go to to be the best they can be?
To reach your fullest potential, do you think you need to endure some flat out 'nos'?
How about personal, even harsh criticism?
What experiences does a stronger, more resilient version of you need to go through to get to that level of strength?
Is it at home, or on the battlefield?
"A ship in harbour is safe - but that is not what ships are built for." - John A. Shedd.
What does your full potential require of you today?
You probably know what this is. And you're probably resisting the shit out of it. Like most people.
Finding out what those risky, scary things are for you, and doing them, is something you will never feel ready for. You will never be perfect at it. But you can make it easier. You can start small.
So take the step.
You can drastically minimise the fear of criticism and rejection by adopting and honing this philosophy:
Don't take anything personally.
Other people will judge you until the end of time. What they do and say is always an opinion. No one knows who you are nor what you are capable of.
"Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in." - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
View criticism with curiosity, rather than reacting to it.
Do not fall for the attractive lure of believing the opinions others have of you. When you can genuinely internalise this, you are immune from the most common fear.
You can ask for what you want. And if they laugh at you, that's on them. They didn't take the risk. You did.
You took a chance to become a stronger person. That is a person the world needs.
You can give talks and be ok with ugly reviews.
You can ask for the high fee and be told to fuck off.
You can meet your mentor even if your knees are shaking.
You can go to that networking event when every cell in your body is screaming NO.
By committing to the void, and handling the potential to be rejected, an amazing thing happens:
You can begin to predict your success.
Put in the numbers, build resilience, and the world is yours.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Don't succumb to social programming
We all grow up surrounded by ideas about how life is 'supposed to be.'
Get a degree. Find a stable job. Buy a house. Long commutes to work.
We hear these narratives from our families, teachers, friends and society in general.
While these 'shoulds' may work for some, or in a different age, they don't necessarily apply to you.
I believed these stories too.
In my early twenties, I followed a conventional path, ticking the boxes society said would lead to success. I got a normal job. I tied happiness to money. And so on.
But it did not lead to success or fulfilment.
I was chasing a life others designed, ignoring my instincts and wisdom.
I turned away from my own limitless insights because I didn't question these 'rules.'
A big moment came when I was asked to give a talk in front of thousands. I was shit scared.
I used to think my anxiety proved I was inadequate. The conventional narrative told me I needed to 'fix' myself. But once I realised anxiety was just thought energy - something I didn't have to believe or resist - much shifted.
I learned to let the fear flow, relabelled as excitement, and found my own voice.
I'd also bought into the idea of 'working harder equals success.' Running myself ragged to find success seemed inevitable.
Over time, I realised that my success had little to do with hard work and far more to do with how much I could detach from overthinking.
When I let go, I found clarity, energy, and a way to work with more intelligence and less effort.
These are just two examples of how social programming keeps us stuck.
Amazing things happen when we tune out this external programming and listen to a different voice. Your deeper voice.
It may sound 'cheesy,' but this is just your programming piping up again.
One of the best things I did was to question societal 'shoulds,' and learn to trust my inner judgement again.
This led to me pursuing my own thing without shame, working from anywhere, and earning a living doing the 'unconventional.'
Master your thoughts so your decisions align with the real you.
This is the foundation.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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"content": "16 devilishly simple things you can do right now to boost your mood and creativity",
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16 devilishly simple things you can do right now to boost your mood and creativity
Earlier today I was looking at my screen, breathing heavily but I wasn't all there.
I just wasn't feeling inspired.
I couldn't be bothered.
I just wanted to lie down and do nothing. So I did.
15 minutes later and I feel like a new person with a bigger brain.
That's often all it takes to renew your mind and come back fresh.
Here are some ideas:
Take a cheeky power nap (10–15 minutes max) on your sofa or in a comfy chair.
Do 20 bodyweight squats to get your blood flowing and release endorphins.
Take a brisk 10-minute walk, ideally outside where you can see trees, spot pigeons, or breathe in the sky.
Run up and down stairs like a bank robber for 2–3 minutes for an instant energy boost.
Make a tiny sketch of anything around you, even if you "can't draw." The act itself stimulates creative momentum.
Dance like a crazy ape to your favourite song with full energy and optional hip thrusts.
Do 5 minutes of silly freestyle stretching. Reach, twist, and move however feels good. Pop those joints, bitch.
Write a haiku about your current mood or surroundings. I'm serious. Now you're a freaking 16th-century samurai poet.
Do a quick tidy of your immediate workspace. Clear out the junk, dissolve dust, and clear your mind in the process.
Make yourself a special drink like you're the queen of Arabia. This could be tea, a lemon spritzer with heaps of cinnamon, coffee, or just water with a block of ice.
Play word association for 2 minutes - write down whatever random words come to mind. It's like brain is going gym gym.
Change your physical space. Work from a different room, change the lighting, or rearrange your desk so your body thinks you moved.
Do 1 minute of jumping jacks followed by 1 minute of shoulder rolls.
Write down three things you're looking forward to this week or year. This puts you in imagination mode while getting excited about what's possible.
Strike a few badass warrior hero poses and feel totally okay looking like a goofball. You earned it.
Do a quick visualisation: imagine yourself in your happy place for just 2 minutes. Now your remarkable mind gives you the power to travel without lifting a finger.
Here's to your potential!
Alex
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"content": "Seven simple mistakes that ensure your relationship will fail",
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Seven simple mistakes that ensure your relationship will fail
Let's jump straight in...
You depend on them for 'self-esteem.'
First of all, self-esteem isn't real. You made it up. Secondly, if you need someone else's validation to make you feel good, you shouldn't be in a relationship.
This is like building a house on a bed of marbles.
Before entering a healthy relationship, you need to learn to make peace with who you are in your most isolated moments.
You don't see them for who they are.
We create all kinds of mental representations of other people in our lives.
We say, 'they're difficult, or crazy.'
We are living a lie when we respond to our thoughts on someone instead of who they really are and what they do. It's not fair, either.
Just because you think someone's an asshole doesn't mean they're an asshole.
You rely on expectations.
If you expect anything from someone, your relationship is on its way out.
The happiest relationships are operated by people who expect nothing but make firm handshake agreements on win-win deals that benefit them both. This is maturity.
Hoping people act a certain way is childish and leads to resentment.
Lying.
If you rely on dishonesty to maintain harmony in your relationship, not only are you both essentially strangers to one another, it's only a matter of time until something explosive and heartbreaking happens.
If you need to cheat, you're an idiot with zero foresight and even less courage.
Establish your need for an open relationship that your partner can agree to if you need early on.
Just don't go into a relationship planning to lie.
You take shit too seriously.
Relationships develop as a union between two people that serves them both.
If a relationship results in a general decrease in joy and mood, it's not a relationship in its true sense.
It's entrapment.
Just because life is hard doesn't mean you need to bring a heavy misery to your partnership.
You must find a way to quit whining and add value to the vibe, so you're both continually lifted.
Neglect your physical bond through dopamine abuse.
The number one enemy to powerful physical and sexual intimacy is flooding your dopamine receptors with fake stimulation. It's selfish.
This includes watching porn and pleasuring yourself with huge rubber dildos.
You're cheating on your partner and your future interpersonal satisfaction by taking shortcuts that numb you to reality.
You're pushing for 'equality.'
Relationships work because two people sit on two polarities.
You will struggle if you're both trying to dominate and compete.
Like for like repels. In the same way, a relationship is doomed to fail if neither of you can step up and lead the other.
It's disparity you want in a healthy relationship, not an equal playing field - unless you want to be best buds with a distinct lack of passion.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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"content": "This little addition to your creative process could multiply your results",
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This little addition to your creative process could multiply your results
Creativity can be effortless in some moments and a nightmare in others.
At times, it flows, like a catamaran gliding over glassy waters in a persistent gale.
At others, we feel like weary explorers battling through the thick, grasping vines of our jungle minds.
Often we try to start our work when we are scattered. We feel flustered, and we want to be elsewhere.
Our minds wander. We feel scratchy. We pop another glance at those people walking into the cafe.
We get annoyed because we have this thing to do. And we even kind of want to do it. We're interested, and yet we still can't hear the starting pistol that pushes us forward.
When we do finally get going, we try too hard. We try to force things. We try to fight our frustration, rather than working with it.
I'm in a rush too. I want to get things started. I want to make things now, and I want to finish them quickly.
But I'm not getting anywhere.
This is when I pay attention to the first step I've often neglected.
This step need not take long.
This is to cultivate in me a state of creative openness; a relaxed commitment; a sense of unattached urgency.
"The object isn't to make art, it's to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable." - Robert Henri
This is an opportunity to prime my body; mind; soul - to be centered. Open to insight. At ease. Playful.
All of the above begin at the single point that is stillness.
One minute is all you need.
One minute to watch thoughts like bubbles that float up and vaporise, rather than ensnared in rumination.
A minute to absorb yourself in the circular nature of breathing; to let your shoulders drop; to unclench your jaw.
One minute to ease into the pain; rather than to pretend it isn't there.
A minute to create space in thought, allowing strange and colourful insights to emerge.
This is what will prime you for the energised creative work to follow.
Few give themselves this minute.
Who knew that adding a tiny, quiet window to your creative process could make such a difference?
—
What are you creating? If you have 12 seconds, I'd love to read your comment below.
🔆
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[
{
"content": "The Universe is testing you.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
The Universe is testing you.
How will you respond?
You just suffered a setback.
What you wanted didn't turn out the way you'd hoped.
You had an expectation.
And that expectation had to call in sick.
You feel deflated.
You're empty but angry.
I've been there too many times to count.
Often, those are the moments I most want to do something drastic.
Energy is searing through my veins, thanks to the anger.
I want to call an end to it like a clean cut to the jugular.
Or I entertain vivid ideas of doing something drastic. How about a long trip somewhere strange?
How about a massive lifestyle shift involving selling everything I own and moving into a trailer on the beach?
These are moments when the Universe is testing us.
It's something that failing a thousand times taught me.
We fail the test if we allow our emotions to take hold and decide to do something that doesn't ultimately serve us.
Perhaps you don't need to do anything drastic.
This is the most critical moment. The Universe waits in silence for your next move. It's like time stops briefly as you deliberate.
Your best answer?
Take a breath.
Realign your wheels on the track.
Let your chaotic emotions float away like a tide.
Stick to the plan.
Focus on the next small step.
The next inch.
That's all there is.
🔆
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[
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"content": "Five things you must know if you want to be a productivity machine",
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Five things you must know if you want to be a productivity machine
I calculated I've created and published over 200,000 pieces of content over the last fifteen years.
This ranges from tweets to Facebook posts, drawings, Linkedin updates, Youtube videos, Kindle books, Medium articles and newsletters.
No one needs to be a 'content-machine.'
But if you want to bring attention to your brand, grow a significant audience, and master your creative skills, you might.
Creating and sharing content has been the best and most enlivening investment I've made.
Here's what I'd tell you:
1. A noisy Internet gives you an 'excuse' to create like a maniac.
I see many people who get romantic about their content, choosing to focus solely on the quality of the work.
They neglect the reality that it takes effort to cut through the noise.
They put out two articles a month and wonder why nothing is happening. You're either all-in or all-out. The in-between will exhaust you if your goal is to create traction.
You must simply create a LOT to be seen. This applies more to when you start out and look to bring attention to your brand. Yes, you may ease off the gas when you have a larger audience, but you need to create in volume right now.
But rather than seeing it as a 'chore,' see it as an exciting opportunity to create like crazy.
2. Impact is made through repeated efforts.
All the impact you want from your work, from creating clients to growing an audience, is born out of relentlessly and consistently sharing.
Impact might look like an event, but the needle is moved only after you have shown up day after day before that point.
Many people slow down or give up because they underestimate the power of attrition, i.e. tangible results that come out of continually showing up and publishing material, even when it's hard, even when you feel bored and see little impact.
Knowing this helps you work through the initial discomfort of showing up and remaining focused on the process without getting stressed about the outcome.
3. You will quit if your expectations are high.
When we expect things to be easier than they are, we are more likely to get disappointed and quit when things inevitably do not go to plan.
You will have setbacks.
No one will read your articles.
People will criticise your work.
You will experience frustration and self-doubt.
But if you have low expectations, you will know that these are simply part of the experience of an active creator.
When you expect things to be hard, you will stay in the game, driving through your obstacles like a bulldozer.
The most prolific creators are hardened warriors.
4. Double down on your strengths.
If you're starting out, you want to experiment as much as possible. This is how you find what works and where your strengths lie.
But once you are clear on what is working for you, whether it's a thread that went viral or a youtube video with great engagement, you want to do more of what has been shown to work.
This is how you start seeing results and more wins.
Without wins, you are more likely to find reasons to quit. So find out where your strengths are, see what energises you, and seize the 'unfair advantage' by bringing out the artillery on your proven targets.
This is how to turn winning into a habit.
5. Massive output only comes out of a firm commitment.
No one produced anything in significant volume without a commitment.
People show up at their desks and write when they least feel like it not because they're masochists.
Instead, they do this because they made an (emotional) commitment to themselves that they honour daily. You must do the same.
Commitment will ensure you keep producing, but it will also facilitate incredible creative insight over time.
Creativity is a habit, not a character trait.
Your commitment to consistency hones this muscle, provides you with relentless energy and gives you the gift of transforming nothing into value.
Much love and success to you,
Alex
🔆
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'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
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[
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"content": "The power of building online: a Tokyo story",
"role": "user"
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] |
The power of building online: a Tokyo story
By 2012, sharing my work online had already changed my life.
I was earning enough from remote illustration work to live anywhere with an internet connection. So I chose Tokyo.
This freedom didn't happen overnight.
It started five years earlier, when I began posting my illustrations online. Raw, unpolished work at first. But I shared consistently. I eventually found my style.
I had no formal training in illustration.
A community of those who liked my work developed.
Those years of making pictures gradually opened doors even if no one seemed to notice. It seemed surreal that I could do that from the comfort of a laptop.
Client work started flowing in.
Then, while living in my tiny Tokyo apartment, the email from Google landed.
They'd been following my journey and reading my blogs. They saw the progression.
They didn't care about formal qualifications.
They cared about my commitment to the craft.
And, thanks to regular sharing, I had been visible.
This isn't a story about natural talent. It's about understanding how sharing your work strategically, consistently, and authentically builds real opportunities over time.
And it comes sooner than you think.
Most people focus on the endpoint - "guy gets hired by Google" - missing the crucial middle: five years of showing up, sharing work, building connections, and developing a distinctive voice.
Build online, even if no one seems to care at first.
I learned that every single step of the way was significant.
My third step influenced the fourth. The fiftieth influenced the fifty-first.
It all counts.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
|
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[
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"content": "The six traits of people who are unapologetically themselves",
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] |
The six traits of people who are unapologetically themselves
There is a constant force that slowly and subtly works against your individuality.
Humans are strongly attracted to conformity and get uncomfortable when they sense they are different from those around them.
The only problem with this? It makes us miserable and unsuccessful in the long run.
It's in everyone's interest to become more thoroughly themselves.
Being yourself while staying connected will bring joy and fortune into your life.
Let me show you what I mean by being more fully yourself:
1. Have forgiven their past.
It's amazing how strong a hold our pasts can have on us.
We often carry around a form of resentment for something we did or for what someone did to us.
Either way, this lack of forgiveness is hurting us the most. We can't be fully ourselves this way.
You must take some time out to resolve this.
You forgive yourself by finding compassion for what you did. If you look deeply, you will find a way to understand.
The same goes for what someone did to you.
You must find a way to see that what they did was for a very good reason in their mind.
Everyone is doing their best given the thinking they hold to be true.
Including the younger you.
2. Embellish their quirks.
A cool thing happens when we start letting go of past shames: we become more attuned to what makes us unique.
We develop deeper compassion for who we are and notice all the details about us that we may have tried to hide before.
What 'weird' interests do you have that few others share?
What are natural talents you can sharpen?
What about your temperament can you take advantage of?
Look back over your school years, for example, and ask: what made you stand out then?
Even if it was on the other end of criticism (including of self), these things all point to the aspects of you that you must embrace.
3. Are shame-free.
People often avoid being themselves publicly because they believe they have something shameful to hide.
Maybe it's an idea picked up in youth, or you deny aspects of your darker side, which we all have.
They can't step out and own every part of who they are, so they put on an act - even if it's subconscious.
They are overly 'nice', for example. This slowly eats us up from the inside because we aren't being who we really are. The way through is to make peace with the parts of you that you dislike or fear showing.
If you can change what you don't like, do it. If not, own it.
Insecurities dissolve the moment you own them.
4. Healthy relationship to rejection.
It's rare to come across someone these days who isn't terrified at the idea of being rejected by another human.
Our overly protected childhoods and our 'safe space' culture is directly to blame for an unhealthy attitude to the nature of rejection.
The most authentically happy people are much better able to handle and process the idea of someone disliking them or saying no to them.
This is developed through putting yourself out there.
But we become stronger in the face of rejection when we see the value in being rejected.
See rejection as an indication that you're putting yourself out there. You're taking risks. You NEED rejection to thrive, to be yourself.
This is what it means to have a healthy relationship with rejection.
5. Understand the power of staying unique.
In a world continually - and often subconsciously - pushing you towards conformity, it takes continual awareness and reminding to remain unique and true to yourself. Those who stay themselves are aware of the need to be unique.
To stand out benefits us and our businesses in obvious ways.
We embrace our exceptional skills, making us indispensable and needed by other people.
More than anything else, being unique means that we are in integrity.
We are willing to look 'weird' to others if it means we stay true to who we are. We aren't living the fake life like most narcissistic try-hards are doing.
This is a habit, a constant practice, and it will serve you well.
6. No longer self-conscious.
It's impossible to never be self-conscious because we require an occasional awareness of ourselves and our appearance.
Many of us spend far too much time in a heightened sense of self-analysis, which renders us awkward and helpless.
We become self-conscious to compensate for some perceived insecurity about ourselves that we feel needs protection.
For example, I have been very self-conscious in social situations because I wanted to do my best while inadvertently making myself even more anxious.
But our performance and joy in the moment continuously improves when we focus outward.
Those who are most themselves have diverted their attention away from themselves.
They take an interest in the people and the sights around them.
This ends up attracting people to you in the end.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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[
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"content": "Six things I am doing right now to improve my odds of success greatly",
"role": "user"
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] |
Six things I am doing right now to improve my odds of success greatly
It's time to draw a line in the sand, friend.
It's time to stop pretending you don't want real success, solid income and excellent health.
Your excuses are lies, and they keep you down.
I'm not the most successful, though I've done well and have everything I need right now. There is much I am learning about accelerating my progress.
Yes, success is subjective, but much of it we can all agree on.
Here are some ways I am maximising my odds for continued and expanded success in my life right now:
Working with someone who's done it.
What are you looking to do? What has someone achieved that you'd love?
Find them, talk to them and find a way to absorb their knowledge, experiences and insight. What if someone could give you the steps and accountability you needed to get there faster, and save potentially years of frustration?
What would that be worth to you?
Right now, I'm working with a business coach who has sold millions in online courses. I want to do the same, so I am paying him to help with my next launch.
Invest in yourself, even if it feels like a painful stretch. It should. If it hurts, you'll work twice as hard to make sure you earn that money back.
Building my personal brand.
Simon Sinek said:
'People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it.'
(I'd also add - they buy based on who you are too).
The context of you as a human being on a mission that gives context to your products and services is a long-term asset.
Many overlook its significance.
But the larger, more engaging, and more meaningful your brand is, the easier it will be to make an impact with your knowledge and earn money from your skills.
I use personal stories, observations and lessons to demonstrate my humanity and authority on several topics.
This creates a community around me who are happy to exchange money for my ongoing support.
The brand keeps me free and able to live anywhere I want.
Validating my ideas.
I've spent many years working for myself and creating my own products and services.
A big lesson I learned was that assuming people will want to buy my stuff is very different to knowing they will.
There are ways to move the needle towards more confidence in knowing I'm building the right product that people will actually want to buy.
I ask more questions. I put together smaller, tester products and beta cohorts.
I get more people on coaching calls to validate the solutions I provide.
I get more reviews from people who saw results and use those reviews to validate the products further.
This way, I am taking small risks on things that have a far higher likelihood of succeeding.
Committing to a seemingly relentless daily habit.
Many habits you probably have dialled in.
But what's that habit you know would change your life that you continually allow to slip?
Maybe it's writing every day. Or quitting video games. Or reaching out to three potential new clients.
"This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." - Neil Gaiman
At the heart of your success lies monotony. Your willingness to repeatedly do what you need to do, no matter your mood. What is the driver?
For me, it's writing and publishing at least one article. I have slipped in the past, but regardless of what else is happening, I am working extra hard to ensure I don't miss a day.
What single activity, done repeatedly, could compound to magnificence in a year's time?
You must find the strength to build your tower with a brick a day.
Go TenX over 2X
In Benjamin Hardy's book, '10X is easier than 2X,' he argues that when we aim for a bigger target, we're forced to think differently than had we aimed at the 2X goal.
Our options are reduced, but there is less to do and think about because they are limited.
In my case, I could do what I was planning: create another $50 course, release it without much fanfare, and add a few thousand per year in income.
This would mean my income goals take a lot longer, with me needing to create a far greater variety of courses to make it happen.
Or I could go all in on a big course launch with a higher quality product, working with partners to ensure a successful, higher income launch and limiting its availability.
It often takes a bit more courage.
Just writing this makes me nervous because now my neck is on the line, and there is the possibility of failing in public.
But there is always a price to pay for taking a bigger risk.
However, when you go all in on fewer things, your likelihood of success increases because your focus is there.
🔆
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Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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