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Seven life 'shortcuts' that actually work
There are no shortcuts in life.
This is true, but really it isn't.
What am I talking about?
So you're saying there are shortcuts?
Yes, I am.
How?
Because most people do things like most other people.
By simply doing the things most people don't do, you're taking a shortcut around the experiences suffered by many.
You aren't most people, and you can realise this through your actions.
Here's what I mean...
Ask for help at the top.
Very few people dare to ask for help, ideas or support, let alone ask people higher up the top of 'the ladder.'
Making bold asks, whether it's for mentorship, asking for a job or simply to make a connection with someone a little out of your league, may frequently be met with rejection.
But that doesn't mean you won't occasionally get what you ask for.
When you do, you'll be propelled.
Be more consistent than most.
Most people try things, experience a sense of loss or perceived failure, and then want to try something new.
They use 'novelty' as an excuse to avoid struggling through more pain with the current project.
They don't see that by being consistent and staying on the path, they will eventually gain an elite advantage.
This happens when their string of repetitions reaches a tipping point that looks like 'overnight success' to the stragglers.
Do more than most.
This is different from consistency, though consistency for many will absolutely result in doing far more than most.
But here's where you gain a sick advantage and create a funny kind of shortcut: combine doing more with being consistent.
This isn't about doing more for the sake of it.
It's about doing more with less.
Instead of writing three articles weekly, write one a day if they work for you.
Cut out the pointless stuff and do more of what works.
Do it daily, and you will skyrocket further than anyone.
Study vertically.
Gurus constantly tout the value of reading hundreds of books a year, absorbing summaries, and spreading your knowledge across a vast area.
This is certainly better than learning nothing, but absolute mastery won't be developed on the surface level.
Choose a topic and study it in depth.
You can master something specific, like persuasion, copywriting, or online marketing, quickly, for example, by going deep on the topic.
Slow down.
Yeah, I know.
This one's a bit cheeky to include in a serious personal development list, but hear me out.
Most of us are rushing, and we literally create an overwhelming reality.
Life moves fast to adapt to our speed.
We make it easier to process data when we slow down, even if it's a fraction.
That's an advantage, and an advantage is a kind of shortcut.
Slow down physically to the speed of life.
Talk a little slower. Take your time, and you will notice more.
Your intelligence will jump, and your performance will increase.
Create hybrid value combos.
You can make life easier for yourself by increasing your real (and perceived) value.
Consider your strengths, talents and interests, and combine them into one thing that sets you apart.
It could be that you take your interests in space, psychology and being a good writer - so you write about what space travel teaches us about mental health.
What hybrid value can you build?
Let go of resisting what's happening.
It can be a destructive force that keeps us stuck and frustrated.
When things don't go how we want them to, we can get physically uptight and stew on what happened.
This puts billions of us at a significant disadvantage, often without realising it.
We think worrying puts us in control when it just holds us back.
Practice the art of non-resistance.
It is what it is.
Let go at every turn, and you will be stronger and instantly more creative.
You'll be who you were meant to be.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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"content": "Eight impactful questions I ask myself regularly to help me focus on what matters",
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Eight impactful questions I ask myself regularly to help me focus on what matters
Feeling aimless has taken up a considerable chunk of my experience.
I've gone round in circles; I've wasted time, and I've created unnecessary stress and overthinking.
When I got into coaching and committing my life to master this skill, I learned the power of focused enquiry.
I often ask my clients these questions, and their lives change.
I ask myself these questions too, and they always energise me and create clarity on what I need to do next:
How do I want to be remembered?
This makes us aware of what's truly important to us in our lives beyond the superficial.
This takes us out of survival mode and into what impact we'd love to make - one greater than ourselves.
What is the problem I wake up to every morning?
It's amazing how creative we can all be in avoiding the stressful things that continue to show up.
What are you tolerating that you need to deal with?
What things, places, habits, and people fill me with energy?
You can be sure these things are worth doing more of.
Understanding how we use energy is vital in considering what should matter to you.
What would I want if I knew I couldn't fail?
We often block ourselves psychologically from committing to something because we fear failure.
With failure no longer part of the equation, determining what's important to us becomes clear.
What does my heart long for?
Reflect on this for a while.
You might be surprised at what you find when you open up a channel between your imagination and your soul.
When were some times I felt most alive?
What were you doing?
How could you bring more of this kind of thing into your life?
An alive life is the only kind worth living, is it not?
What isn't working for me in my life right now?
We can go an entire lifetime turning our attention away from those things that drain us or conflict with our joy.
Get honest with yourself, and call them out. Realise you have one life.
Commit to changing what isn't working, so you can live your best life.
What would you do if you knew you had a year to live?
How much time we perceive we have left can have a surprising effect on what we do with our time.
When a real constraint is brought in, we might be surprised by how our priorities change.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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"content": "How to clone yourself so your online brand grows faster",
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How to clone yourself so your online brand grows faster
I don't know if you've noticed, but building a personal brand well into the future seems like a ton of work.
It can be.
There's no doubt you need to be as active as you can be in creating and engaging consistently online. Especially if you're starting out and can't hire help right now.
But I learned it doesn't need to break your back.
If you've already produced and shared a fair amount of content, there is gold here.
One way I exploded my following on Medium to close to 200,000 followers, for example, was by using much of my older content.
I repurposed and re-shared.
I took a look at my best performing posts and articles and re-wrote posts on the same idea but with a different spin, structure or attached story.
In fact, when you look at my entire online brand presence, you'll see it's just basically me spreading the same nine ideas over and over.
I just got good at mixing it up.
Don't always try so hard to be original.
Test what works, then do more of the stuff that works.
Multiply your effort by re-using old, proven ideas.
Take one successful tweet and turn it into three articles.
That's real creativity.
And that's what will grow your brand faster than others.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Nine subtle habits of the most fascinating people
I've spent most of my life a bit of an outsider.
But I've always been interested in people and what makes them tick.
Over the years, I've gathered many little lessons about how certain people draw others in, whether in person or even through their writing.
Here are some commonalities:
Rarely seem to take things personally.
It's more common than not to harbour little insecurities that show up through behaviour.
Getting annoyed or going silent are examples.
If you can breathe through these moments of inner frustration and remain upbeat regardless, you will gather an aura of respect.
Selective silence.
When Nathan can't stop talking, you stand out by being completely at ease with your pauses and moments of extended silence.
People start internally asking questions.
Keep things light.
Fascinating people are no strangers to wit and a cheeky bit of humour.
Pulling off a joke without making someone want to run out of the room in a rage takes skill.
Be funny, but don't base your personality on it.
They assume intelligence in other people.
If you need to explain everything to me like I'm a dribble-faced toddler at summer camp, it makes me feel dumb.
Fascinating people have a knack for making the people around them feel bright.
They leave with a skip in their step.
Get to the heart of what makes others great.
When people make me realise my genius, they can be sure I won't stop thinking about them.
If you can help someone figure out something about themselves they hadn't realised, you'll have them hooked.
They are willing to walk away.
Fascinating people are not barnacles.
They have places to be and missions to pursue. Part of the allure of these people is how unclingy they are.
They may not explicitly say it, but they give off the vibe that they wouldn't cry should they never see you again (Sorry, Sally).
Secret talents.
Have you ever found yourself nattering away with someone, and out of nowhere, they reveal an obscure passion or strange array of knowledge bites?
You had no idea they knew all the various breeds of iguana, but you'd never thought to ask.
Questions arise.
What other secrets could they be harbouring?
Non-status-quo thinkers.
People are drawn to things that stand out.
Those who hold conformity dear to their hearts may find they are quickly forgotten.
Fascinating people challenge assumptions and often come up with counterintuitive ideas.
Their suggestions stick in the mind like a bear hair on honey.
Uncommonly calm under pressure.
People are drawn to those who maintain composure when most would pee their pants.
It's a rare thing. But it's also something you can practice.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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"content": "This is why other people make me suffer",
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This is why other people make me suffer
My life has featured a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Self-conscious. Frustrated. Cynical.
In a perpetual state of worry about gaining - and losing - the admiration of others.
It took many years to realise that our many forms of mental anguish arise more from our judgement of others than of the perceived judgement others inflict on us.
Put simply, much of our inner suffering comes from our rejection of others.
When we judge, we are judging ourselves most of all.
It is understanding this that has changed so much for me.
"True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less." ~C.S. Lewis
I think we are unhappier than ever because society quietly encourages us to 'love ourselves' regardless of others.
At the expense of others.
But we cannot have one without the other.
We live in a 'swipe left, discard it if it doesn't work' culture. One bad word uttered by another, and they are cast out without a moment's reflection.
'There are always 'better' people. Don't waste your time with those losers.'
Antagonism as a twisted strategy for human interaction is reinforced online, mainly through the anonymity and protection of the Internet layer.
To end our mental suffering, we need to step back and see how all of this plays its part.
Take social fear. This form of anxiety can only manifest when our perception of others is generally negative.
Yes, other people are a source of potential rejection; of judgement. But think about this. What is it that you are doing when you view others as a threat?
You are judging others as bad, and usually, that comes neatly packaged as an assumed stereotype.
We can be the biggest judge of them all...
'Those people are all losers who live in their parent's basements.'
'They are all weak hippies.'
'Oh, they don't interest me.'
'I just don't get on with most people.'
...Or you emphasise the fact that you are different from 'the norm:'
'No one gets you.'
'You had a unique background that no one could understand.'
'You're sensitive and a special, hard case.'
Yes. We get it. It's what I told myself for the longest time.
But that's just Ego speaking. I have never gained a thing by emphasising how 'different' I am. Seeing myself as different, and continually reinforcing it over the years, has made things worse.
Much of our suffering is distilled directly out of viewing others as some strain of: enemy.
The more I see the enemy in others, the higher the perceived threat.
The more removed from others I perceive myself to be, the less human I feel.
If you are anxious around people in the real world, you fear the pain of a hurtful word; a snide look; rolling eyes.
You desperately want to avoid being judged. You can't allow your secrets to come out. Being banished from the tribe.
It follows then that the more good you can see in others, the less judged you will feel.
Perhaps all our efforts to 'fix' ourselves is making it even harder to find the cure.
Maybe the 'fixing' lies in the looking outward.
To feel safer and more at ease in the world, we need to see others as less of a threat.
We can't change anyone. So to make a difference, we need to change the way we think about others:
This means adjusting our philosophy.
Philosophy is everything. How you think of things is everything.
If you get anxious around others unnecessarily, only you can change that.
But with responsibility comes freedom. This freedom will happen when you make a choice: to see good in others.
Take responsibility, turn your focus away from the threat others pose you, and be the one who sees the good.
See the humanity.
Understand how we are all united in our flaws.
Craft the habit of compassion.
This doesn't mean neglecting yourself. This is not becoming a 'martyr.' It is very much the opposite.
This is about redirecting your attention outwards so that you see yourself in a positive, life-affirming light - as stronger, no longer a victim.
This also doesn't mean running around 'doing good' and saving the world.
You are the leader. You make the first move. Your existence crackles with a new found independence.
Start with 'seeing' the good. End the irrational, stressful cycle of self-obsession and fearfulness.
Simply, find a way to love others.
If 'love' is too strong for now, find a way to accept them.
Your love for others is there, no matter how hateful and ugly that person can seem. No matter what they did to you in the past.
Liberal, conservative, white, skinny, brown or Chinese.
There is something to love about everyone. Yes, this can take tremendous courage to see.
If you can't find it, you have only your own suffering with which to contend.
And this is the worst kind of torture.
The pain I have inflicted on myself because of my lack of genuine love for others has harmed me more than anything.
Put aside what you dislike in others. Those things will always be there. Focus on those who matter, but reserve love for all.
People will continue to do stupid and grotesque things, and often without even realising it. Directing your energy to their failures will be your loss.
There is much to like and plenty to love too. Look for it now, and you will see it.
As you walk past people in the street, see into them, and find the love you have for your fellow man. Do this today and see how your very demeanour changes.
Forgive those who hurt you in the past. Find a way to accept and love. Show yourself that you are strong enough to rise above that pain.
Get into the habit of seeing light and the beauty in others - seeing their spirit.
This will be one of the best things you can do for yourself and potentially one of the least comfortable, to start.
Find your compassion with daily practice, and you will be surprised at what happens next.
You will feel light and loose. You will see yourself and others differently.
And how you see yourself will change your entire experience. Your belief in yourself will emerge and expand.
It will be so powerful as to obliterate any need for complicated therapies.
Your self-hate was the issue, and this new perspective will be its starvation.
Love others to love yourself.
—
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[
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"content": "Writing gets better when you fall in love with:",
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Writing gets better when you fall in love with:
The blank page.
The sound of your keyboard clicking.
The promise of an idea becoming a sentence.
The beauty of letters and words.
The icky feeling in your chest when you first start.
An activity that you can do into old age.
Your newfound ability to move strangers on the Internet.
The catharsis of transmuting your pain into words that help others.
The scratch of your pen scribbling newly realised ideas in your notebook.
Knowing how you can gradually build a community around you with every piece shared.
Connecting with your deeper wisdom.
Growing a fraction, particularly on the hardest days, just because you wrote.
The joy of telling stories with emotion.
The abundant sense that you're free to write about whatever you want.
The rewards of continual experimentation.
The icky feeling in your chest before you hit send.
The process, and what it's doing to you, more than the outcome.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
|
e4c12b0d9463
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"content": "Ten tiny behaviour shifts you can make that will make people strangely drawn to you",
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Ten tiny behaviour shifts you can make that will make people strangely drawn to you
I could fill many boxes with stacks of lists documenting all the times I did something awkward or pushed others away.
The funny thing I learned is that social awkwardness is actually a sign you care about others. You want to get it right. You want to be accepted.
Thankfully, years of blunders taught me a lot about human behaviour and what works.
Here are some ways to positively influence others so they are drawn to you:
Stop trying to be someone you are not.
Fakeness can be smelt like fox shit on a labrador who's been rolling in it.
The cool thing about this is you're now free of all the pressure that comes with thinking of a hundred clever things to say that you would never have said in the first place.
Force less and watch your confidence appear.
Be a 'take your time' mover.
Move with the pace of a sloth on Valium.
Ok, maybe a little quicker than that.
It's not just about taking your time; it's about making every action deliberate. You're not just walking; you're gliding through life.
This pace gives you more time to think, calms everyone around you, and demonstrates that you don't rush for anyone.
Give compliments like no one else.
Give specific and unexpected compliments, like commenting on someone's choice of socks.
It might be weird and make you feel a little exposed, but it shows you're paying attention to the details others miss.
People love this, and it shows how perceptive you can be.
Occasionally slip into the shadows.
Occasionally, disappear. Not in a dramatic, "I'm off to find myself" way, but in a "I might be here, I might not" kind of way.
It's like playing hide and seek with your social circle. They'll wonder if you've become a monk to pursue the answers to life's tougher questions (or if you were hit by a bus).
This lack of presence and availability will pull people in.
Ask more questions.
Instead of babbling endlessly about yourself and your problems, ask more questions.
Redirect the focus to others.
People love talking about themselves, and you become the sage who knows more than most and remains mysterious.
Be unpredictable.
Being expected gets boring.
You want to be memorable by breaking patterns of behaviour. Occasionally, do something out of character.
Maybe you're known for your punctuality, but one day, you're fashionably late.
Keep 'em guessing.
Limit what you share about yourself.
Share less about yourself, but when you do, make it count. It can be tempting to tell all, but you need some self-control here.
No one deserves to know all your secrets. Keep much of it to yourself and turn your attention to others. This will also reduce any unnecessary anxiety because the spotlight isn't always on you.
Think of yourself as a limited edition collectable.
Rarity increases value. It's as simple as that.
Stay uncommonly calm.
Social situations can test every one of us.
There are many opportunities here to get flustered or annoyed by what others say. This is where you remain calm.
The calmest person in the room invites respect because it is not always easy to do.
This, like many of these other habits, is a practice that improves over time.
Edgy eye contact.
Hold eye contact just a tad longer than is comfortable.
Not in a creepy way, but in a way that says, "I see you, and I'm not looking away." See this as a fun challenge as you talk to people.
It allows you to see into the window of their souls - this tickles many.
Give off an aura of ambition.
Live like you're on a mission, even if it's just to find the best coffee in town.
This doesn't mean you need to rush around like a headless hyena.
You move with purpose and intention.
There's little hesitation, although you can be as present as you like.
This gives off an aura of purpose, making you seem like you're always on the verge of discovering something monumental.
🔆
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How writing doesn't need to be complicated (the writing enjoyer's guide)
I've been writing things online for more than fifteen years.
How am I still here, still writing?
Well, I obviously found a way to like doing it, otherwise I would have quit long ago.
When I first started writing, I knew little about how to write well, but I just wrote what seemed right.
No one read my stuff back then, but I wrote anyway.
As time passed, I found it frustrating that I'd be putting all this energy into writing online articles with little traction.
So I learned as much as possible about writing with impact.
This gave me numerous strategies that only overwhelmed me when it came to writing.
It was like spinning twenty plates.
Good hooks, storytelling, structure, pacing, humour, premise, meaning, grammar, etc.
How could I make sure I was thinking about all of it?
Too much.
I soon dropped all the plates and focused on just writing again.
Like I did at the start.
I kept it simple:
Solve one problem.
Write like I'm speaking to someone I care about.
Have fun.
And things improved. A lot.
The fun part meant opening myself up to emotions - whether happy or sad. And readers would feel it.
I still love to learn more about the craft.
But when it comes to sit down to write:
I make sure I forget.
🔆
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"content": "Why that creative project you always wanted to start is a high-priority",
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Why that creative project you always wanted to start is a high-priority
I've been wanting to write fiction for years.
But I just couldn't start.
I had more 'important things to do.'
Then I realised the right time would never come.
I know I will regret never honouring this.
So, I recently just started writing 500 words every evening.
It's now a daily habit.
It allows me to enter bizarre new worlds using an entirely different skill.
I rarely feel like doing it when I start.
There's always that moment when I consider ditching it and just chilling in front of a movie for the evening.
And often, I'm just too fatigued after a long day.
Sometimes, it's a push, and I just end up writing meaningless words for fifteen minutes.
But that's okay because the habit has created momentum, which feeds into better days.
The funny thing is, the more I stick to this seemingly 'lower value' artistic habit, the more other areas of my life have improved.
I go to the gym more, walk more, and eat better.
Because I want to be in a good state when it comes to writing my stories.
It's a non-negotiable.
Sometimes, what seem like low-priority things are the highest-priority things.
🔆
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Nine subtle behaviours that keep you calm when you're nervous
From a lot of personal experience, I know how self-conscious we can be in certain situations. Nerves mean we're in our heads and not there in the moment to enjoy it.
Here are some ways you can decrease awkwardness and regain a sense of ease and happiness when around other people:
Be present to help others be present.
If we're in our heads, trying to second guess what to say next, full of doubts and insecurities, we can't be present in the moment.
Being present and relaxed is the best thing you can do for social confidence.
So be present, focus on what's being said, but do it as a way to help others be present too.
Then, you'll see yourself as a calming guide and leader, and your interaction is a win-win.
Be ok with silences.
This one's huge. Most people fear those 'awkward' silences and lulls in conversation.
We tend to fill those gaps with our 'ums and ahhs' to defuse the discomfort.
But then you're just umming and rushing through the conversation. Being ok with silence was a game-changer for me.
There's no rule saying silence must be banished. Chill. Let space appear. You don't always need to know what to say.
Be ok with the uncertainty because it will be there no matter what.
Show that you're ok with silence.
There is power here.
Relax your shoulders.
Often without realising it, we can scrunch up our shoulders and bodies in the face of a seemingly uncomfortable social interaction.
But this makes you more nervous and uptight.
You can hack this loop by being aware of the tightness in your body and actively letting go.
When we let go physically, our minds let go too, which makes us calmer and more intelligent.
Slow down.
Physically slowing down our movements and our speech brings fast relief.
If we're rushing about and making jerking movements like a twitchy rabbit, we're making things harder for ourselves.
It means we have more data to process in less time, which is stressful.
Slow down, and you will be sending a soothing message to your brain that you're ok with where you are. You're not resisting reality.
This will relax you further.
Understand that others are worried and insecure and flawed too.
It's very easy to blow our perception of what others are experiencing out of proportion.
Other people often seem far more at ease and 'together' than we think, but they are also dealing with their own insecurities and challenges. Believe me.
Knowing this helps us take things less seriously, and we feel more connected.
Be more still.
Similar to slowing down, bringing a stillness to your approach will inevitably make you physically looser.
This depends on the situation and sometimes it is warranted to be more expressive, especially if the situation is loud.
Generally, however, being still in calmer environments boosts your performance and slows your heart rate.
Imagine you're chilling by the pool.
No worries, man.
Try to avoid doing too much with your body. Let it be. Breathe into your belly and allow it to loosen.
A lot of tension is kept here. Again, you're sending a clear message that things are okay when you're still, which will garner respect.
Smile gently.
I'm not talking about continually grinning like a crazy psychopath who needs something urgently.
Smile occasionally, do it from within and do it subtly. Even if you aren't feeling great.
It will ease the body and mind and put you on an upward trajectory that feels good.
It will also disarm those you are with, leading to a more harmonious and pleasant interaction, calming you further.
Listen and listen with your whole body.
Most of us are all wound up, trying to think of the next clever thing to say next. So we barely listen to what's actually being said.
Listen to their words, and see if you can listen in an all-encompassing way.
Listen also to what's being said in their body language and between the lines.
When you expand your outward attention like this, your self-consciousness fades, and you'll surprise the recipient.
How? You'll be doing what few do - which is to truly get what they're saying.
They will feel heard, and you'll be relaxed.
Let go of self-pressure.
I struggled in my teens and twenties because I had such high expectations of myself in social situations.
I felt I needed to be funny, talkative and never quiet. I was very insecure about this and felt shame when I didn't say much. But there is no particular way you need to behave.
Most of the pressure is from you.
Let go of the need to do or be anything.
This is the true secret to confidence because you'll realise, when there's no pressure to perform...
You had it all along.
🔆
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"content": "What if ‘imposter syndrome’ was just a sign you were on the right path?",
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What if 'imposter syndrome' was just a sign you were on the right path?
James Altucher once said something that stuck with me:
"If I'm not nervous before I hit 'publish,' then I'm doing it wrong."
Several years ago, I'd get nervous about various things in my business:
Publishing my articles
Getting on calls with potential clients
Releasing courses.
I'd think something was wrong with me because I wasn't feeling confident.
Then I heard about 'imposter syndrome' on some podcast and immediately got in my head.
I said, 'Yeah, that's me. I have that.'
To which I responded:
'So I need to fix it.'
A client recently came to me with the same challenge.
She told me she had 'imposter syndrome,' which was blocking her from creating more content.
I told her what I had figured out for myself all those years ago:
What if imposter syndrome was simply proof you were on the right path?
Maybe we don't need to fix ourselves.
Maybe we need to stop diagnosing ourselves with 'syndromes' that give power to what is really just a feeling.
A feeling based on a doubtful thought.
When faced with uncertainty, we will feel some doubt.
That's human.
Your choice is to lean in and make a change or hold back and ensure none happens.
🔆
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"content": "Ten drawings that motivate me to make art",
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Ten drawings that motivate me to make art
(And for anyone who makes things from nothing)
Art is hard.
It often looks easy from the outside.
'I could have done that,' says Jane.
'But you didn't,' says Peter.
That's art.
"Art isn't only a painting. Art is anything that's creative, passionate, and personal. An artist is someone who uses bravery, insight, creativity, and boldness to challenge the status quo. Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient. The medium doesn't matter. The intent does. Art is a personal act of courage, something one human does that creates change in another." ~Seth Godin
A true artist is not born. They are certainly not made overnight.
Art is the result of a series of events that came together thanks to a commitment.
A decision made by the artist or practitioner to show up every day, and to put something to paper.
Many never make the art they are capable of.
Many will never realise the music that is quietly humming in their souls.
Sometimes, art erupts out of a rush of excitement and joy in the artist - from a moment of insight. That works.
But there are times when we need to be there for the work, and our mood fails us. We aren't feeling it.
This requires an added pinch of tenacity.
It means understanding that it won't always come easily.
We need to remind ourselves of why it can be hard. That it is not always easy.
This understanding, delivered visually, helps me a lot.
So I made some drawings (with a brief explanation for each) to remind me of the reality of making art. I hope they fire you up too.
My most impactful improvements have come out of experiences that didn't feel great at the time, but changed me in little but also dramatic ways.
You need to be ok with getting it wrong (often). Looking bad.
Saying the 'wrong' thing.
Writing crap articles.
Making awful videos.
Making mistakes.
Looking like a doofus.
Sometimes behind closed doors.
Sometimes in public.
You absolutely must push the boundaries to become outstanding.
—
Get busy... ...(working on what matters).
Life is too short for 'pretending' to be busy.
Focus on the challenges that continue to stretch you.
Make good art.
Prioritise your priorities.
Get narrow.
Do what matters the most every day.
—
The best time to make art?
When you don't feel like it.
This will separate you from the pack.
Train yourself to get good with acting when you'd rather be somewhere else.
This is a discipline that most avoid, but that the few winners are honing while others chill.
Imagine what you'll make when you do feel like it.
—
Man this one was hard.
My eyes feel like they are bleeding and my hand is a claw.
I did not want to do this, but I made a self-promise to put something out there every day.
I'm nowhere near 100% happy with this, but I just want to move on and ship, so I can move on to the next thing.
Consistency is hard but worth it over the long haul.
—
If you're struggling... Break things down.
What's the next easiest, smallest step?
Start there.
Momentum and clarity will follow.
I was struggling with writing today, until I broke it down into it's ONE BIG IDEA. From there, the writing flowed again.
—
Don't be scared to be ridiculous.
Ridiculously productive.
Ridiculously creative.
Ridiculously out of the box.
Ridiculously useful.
Ridiculously efficient.
Ridiculously upbeat.
It's all perception anyway.
It might just change everything for you.
—
I've spent about 47% of my life ruminating on stuff I can't change.
That was dumb.
Creating new things is a better place to put that energy.
All it takes is stopping yourself when you ruminate, and redirecting your attention to things you CAN change, make, or create.
—
Mistakes give you the DATA you need to tweak, update and keep going.
You WILL succeed if you keep going, even if it feels awful, and you hate it all.
Stay with something, and you'll start seeing links; gaining new experiences that feed into what you're doing; start making little wins which will turn into big ones.
—
Don't intentionally do what makes you happy.
Do what builds your value.
That's all it is.
You will be happy when you realise that doing what you love will be difficult.
Focus on getting great. (A constant work in progress).
Not on trying to impress others.
Not on being happy.
Happiness comes when you aren't looking for it.
—
If you signed up for pursuing your passion, you must understand that at least 50% of the work will suck.
Yes, it will be tedious. Yes it will be boring and repetitive. Yes, your hands and your muscles will hurt. Yes, you will get angry and depressed.
But it's part of it. The highs are not without their lows.
Creativity is dead without the resistance that comes with it.
I wouldn't be where I am had I not realised this.
I would be 10x further if I hadn't reacted to my perceived stresses and kept going when it got really hard.
Soldier on.
—
Get your free illustrated booklet:
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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"content": "Ten things you must do if you want to rediscover who you really are:",
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Ten things you must do if you want to rediscover who you really are:
So many of us are just coasting.
We live for others. We sacrifice who we are to fit in and appease our beliefs about how life is 'supposed' to be.
But a new life of energy and enjoyment awaits when we truly know ourselves.
Here are ways to rediscover your true self so that you can live with integrity:
Find that thing you could obsess over.
Honour your obsessions, weird or otherwise.
What could you talk about for hours? What kinds of books sit on your bookshelf?
Go deeper. We can deny ourselves by closing ourselves off from our interests.
Don't allow your judgemental thinking to get in the way of pursuing what you want. Often, we hold back because we think we'll look silly. You can't buy into this.
Don't die with regrets because you never truly came to life doing what energises the shit out of you.
Challenge limiting beliefs.
We all entertain beliefs that aren't true, often without realising it.
When we hold a belief to be true, such as: 'I am not a very creative person.'
We will find ways to confirm and manifest the truth of that belief in the world. False beliefs sabotage you.
Challenge these thought patterns and you will see there are other ways of seeing things.
You will catch a glimpse of who you really are behind these beliefs, and you can detach entirely. That's how to be free.
Experiment like a nutty professor.
You may not know what you're good at or what you're best suited to.
Try a range of different things. This is especially important when you're young, but there's no age at which experimentation should cease.
Even if you think you have it all figured out, you need to welcome change and trying new things.
One of the best ways to experiment is to create and publish many different types of content, from articles to videos and podcasts.
Be ruthlessly biased to action.
I'm not saying run around like a headless parakeet for the sake of being busy.
But far too often, we stall because we're confused or stuck or feel we need some clever plan to proceed.
Screw all that. Action into the unknown will yield all the information you need.
Action cures sadness, loneliness and a lack of motivation.
Regularly do random things you wouldn't normally do.
The gurus rant and rave about the power of routine.
Great to a point. Mix things up a big lest your brain matter turn to goop. You want to throw yourself into new environments often.
Work somewhere new today. Go on an adventure tomorrow. Meet someone new next week.
Stave off dementia and introduce Mr Random into your life.
Eat clean so you become clean.
This is the one that will make many of you scowl. 'But I was just eyeing that Twinkie on the kitchen counter, Alex.'
I get it. But if you want to know who you really are, little comes close to what you put into your body.
Eat (and drink) shit, and the shittest part of your personality will be on show for all to see. What if you were unreasonably dedicated to eating clean?
Wouldn't that be easier if you knew you'd finally be your strongest, happiest, most energised self?
Stop reacting and worry less.
Worry is a woeful misuse of the imagination.
We worry, but our thoughts were never intended for this. Sure, temporarily judge things as bad - that's survival. But once the threat has been identified, you need to either take a breath and get back to sleep or take action. Focus on what's in your control.
Stop debilitating yourself by immersing yourself in awful, frightening thoughts. This is a waste of life.
Create more (perhaps even maniacally)
Humans, as I always say, were born to create.
The ability to envision a future and act on our plans creatively is literally what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.
To create is to be human. To sit idly picking your nose to Friends reruns is to deny your humanity. If you're feeling mopey, create.
Then, create more. The more you create, the more creative (and yourSELF) you become. Create something today.
Go on long reflective walks.
Chad Thundercock has been telling you to hit the gym weights for weeks, yet you still haven't been.
Okay, forget pumping iron in a cold, artificially-lit room.
Go on a walk and draw it out. Walking without headphones in nature signals to your brain that you're putting rushing on hold for a moment. Let your body relax into the flow of it so you merge with your surroundings.
Nature has a way of opening up the parts we usually keep closed because we're not in the right environment.
Let go of everything that drains your energy.
Society loves telling you that happiness will arrive when certain conditions are met.
So you keep accumulating shite and then wonder why you're still miserable.
Finding yourself is more a process of letting go than adding anything unnecessary.
Be intentional about this. Drop anything that drains you. Learn more about minimalism. Cut the bills for things you don't use. Throw out everything that isn't absolutely adding value to your life. It's hugely relieving.
Be different and focus on experiences over material items.
This is to be on a journey taking you closer to you.
🔆
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|
e4c12b0d9463
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[
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"content": "How to be as original as Pablo Picasso",
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] |
How to be as original as Pablo Picasso
People think of Pablo Picasso as a highly original genius.
And he was.
But was he any more 'special' than most of us?
I'd argue he wasn't (in the way many think he was), but we can learn so much from him.
I've been listening to the Originals audiobook by Adam Grant about how non-conformists make an impact.
It's terrific.
In it, Grant discusses what makes for highly original, influential people.
When we look at the work of Picasso, Mozart and Shakespeare, we are selective. We overlook the flops and prize their best work.
We see a handful of brilliant works among their massive bodies of work. But we ignore the less good stuff.
There's no doubt these guys were skilled and produced magnificent work.
They also had plenty of natural talent.
But they were not superhuman. They produced a lot of trash.
Most of all, they were prolific.
Grant argues that in producing a lot of work, they gathered the skill, awareness and feedback needed to increase the likelihood they would make quality, original work.
This is why so many seemingly incredible artists, inventors, writers and creators of our time produced a lot.
They weren't born geniuses. They allowed it to develop and thrive by producing more than most.
The same for me. I've written over a thousand articles, for example. Many of them were crap. A few were great and went viral.
By writing and publishing a lot, I just increased my chances of success. I just had to be willing to see a lot of posts flop. And that never ends, nor should it.
There is no better teacher than grinding in the trenches.
I gathered my best data by producing and shipping.
Think about those creators you admire. You will likely see a prolific track record of material that got little attention.
Edison filed over 1000 patents in his time, most of which failed to achieve commercial success. But we still know of him as one of the world's greatest inventors.
Many talk about how we should focus on quality over quantity. But this isn't quite right.
As Grant says, a larger quantity of work amplifies the likelihood of high-quality results.
You want to create great work, yes.
Just don't put so much pressure on yourself to hit slam dunks with everything you share.
Be willing to produce some crap and make mistakes. It will release a lot of pressure.
Be prolific and commit to as much volume as you can muster.
You're almost guaranteed success this way, especially if you stay aware of what is and isn't working, and...
...You don't quit.
🔆
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|
e4c12b0d9463
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[
{
"content": "Remember — you can’t fail if you don’t quit",
"role": "user"
}
] |
Remember - you can't fail if you don't quit
You can't fail if you do not quit.
Cute sayings aside, this is truth.
Perseverance and determination is key because - even if you feel like everyone around you is better than you - eventually they will quit.
You can be as talented, intelligent and enthusiastic as they come, but if you stop, you're out.
If you keep doing something long enough, you cannot fail.
Now it's all good and well to persevere, but what really adds magic to this is understanding the meaning of mastery.
If you are not committed to being the best in the world at what you do, you will eventually quit.
I'm not talking about being the best at something in general necessarily, but to be the best in your own niche, with your own brand and flavour.
This is the kind of BEST you can and must shoot for.
If we don't set out to be extraordinary, what do we have?
We will peter out because in every single one of us there is a soul that knows what it's TRULY capable of.
If you aren't gunning for total mastery of your craft, you will lose.
If we can open up to the idea of being the best - of being truly extraordinary in what we do and HOW we do it, we will be sustained forever.
A magical and delicious energy will continue to rise up in us whenever we need it...
...as long as the vision of your mastery is held in mind and we live that vision right now.
The geniuses we see all around us ALL at some point committed to being the best.
They did not back down.
The drive behind this is what sustained them, and it is why they have succeeded to the degree they have so that we know who they are.
Keep going.
The longer you can stay with it with a strong enough reason, the more success will be yours.
What is worth staying with for a long time?
Make the decision, and you will fly.
🔆
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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|
e4c12b0d9463
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[
{
"content": "This little reframe cures online jealousy and doubt",
"role": "user"
}
] |
This little reframe cures online jealousy and doubt
A lot of my clients come to me and tell me they struggle to use social media because it's bad for their mental health.
I get a pang in my chest when they tell me this because I know exactly what they mean.
But I still use it. So do you.
Social media is THE tool for growing our businesses and finding freedom.
So, for many of us, logging off isn't an option.
Here's a trick I've used that helps me get more out of social media than not.
First of all, mute or block all the content that makes you unhappy or angry.
Second, we need to address one of the most common sources of frustration and sadness on social media:
Comparing yourself to others.
So do this:
Identify one person who continually brings you grief this way.
Instead of falling into a quagmire of unhappiness just by seeing their face, write a 'lessons list.'
Write out all the things this person is teaching you that you can take into your own life or business.
Really MINE everything they give you, and brainstorm it all out.
What are all the great reasons for following them?
Suddenly, you're no longer a poor widdle victim. You're a badass creator positively driven by those around you.
It's like you hit the hard reset button on being a little biatch.
You're training your mind to see the good. To be an owner.
Now this person is an ally, instead of an enemy.
The cure to social media sadness is in the reframe.
🔆
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|
e4c12b0d9463
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[
{
"content": "What to do if you feel like an outsider",
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}
] |
What to do if you feel like an outsider
I used to hate feeling like a freak.
I felt like an outsider and kept myself to myself.
I just didn't get why others were the way they were.
I couldn't relate.
It didn't seem like anyone would benefit from what I had to say because I felt so different to most.
Years passed, and this sense of being different only maintained my unhappy disconnection.
𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆, 𝗮 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗹𝗮𝘄𝘀.
I began to like the bits about me I used to dislike.
I liked that I didn't get others because it meant there was something unusual about my thinking.
I liked that I had an unconventional upbringing, living in different countries.
I liked that I had a dark sense of humour.
I saw that being an outsider meant I had unique perspectives others were missing.
I began to see that accepting my freakery actually moved me closer to others.
𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱.
My fascination with people made me develop a skill that others didn't know existed.
People came to me with their life challenges.
I put it into my writing.
Now I was contributing.
I owned the freakery, loved myself for it and saw that others loved it too.
My sense of fulfilment returned.
🔆
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e4c12b0d9463
|
{
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[
{
"content": "How I continue to write and improve without going crazy",
"role": "user"
}
] |
How I continue to write and improve without going crazy
People say I'm a great writer.
But I didn't pop out the womb writing banger articles.
I wrote 400 crap articles before even expecting a nice comment.
This takes many, many moments of looking at my droopy face in the mirror and asking myself, 'is this shit worth it?'
But I continued to write every day even when I'd rather slap myself repeatedly with a wet haddock.
Even if it wasn't much good at all. I just took a deep breath, let go of the thoughts that said I sucked, and hit 'send.'
I wrote when my heart wasn't in it.
I wrote with a crackle in my chest when all I wanted to do was write.
I wrote, not to get attention or make money as the main priority.
I didn't write to be the best writer I could be.
I wrote to become the best, period.
I still view this as my goal. And it's a lifelong craft.
And that's what I love about the whole thing. CRAFT speaks to me, and it drives me to write a ton more.
I must be up to about 800 online articles now.
It's nowhere near up there with the writing animal that is my friend Tim_Denning (3000+), but we're getting there.
It's the art of mastery, and that's why I return to this beat up old keyboard every day.
It's why people look at me funny when I'm jacked up on an idea in a coffee shop and my fingers are going hell for leather.
This takes commitment.
This takes being willing to be unusual.
What are you committed to?
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e4c12b0d9463
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| 1 |
[
{
"content": "Thousands of hours showed me why most people get writing wrong",
"role": "user"
}
] |
Thousands of hours showed me why most people get writing wrong
I wrote hundreds of articles before anyone cared.
It took me thousands of hours of writing and publishing to figure out what people really wanted.
Here's what most people think makes for great writing:
Telling stories.
Saying what others are already saying.
Sharing what makes you look good.
Writing things that everyone will agree with.
Writing like a professional.
Here's what I learned actually makes for great writing:
Showing how transformation is possible.
Saying what few are saying.
Showing details about you that most hide.
Writing things that not everyone will agree with.
Writing like a human with imperfections.
🔆
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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|
e4c12b0d9463
|
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[
{
"content": "What, you didn’t know? Obsession is the reward",
"role": "user"
}
] |
What, you didn't know? Obsession is the reward
I'm afraid I have to diagnose you with a rather acute case.
We've seen your behaviour over the last few weeks.
Is there something wrong with you?
Your thoughts jolt you from sleep.
You forget to eat.
Your friends are beginning to worry about you.
Others ridicule you.
That can't be good, can it?
Unpleasant criticism is getting regular.
You are not living a 'balanced' life like we are.
You're missing out.
Your work has blended into life.
Your life is work.
Are you ok?
...
True, my life is work. But the work is enlivening.
And being alive means that I bring more to the important things.
I am more in tune. No longer a zombie.
The present moment is more welcoming.
I have energy that ripples from my focal point.
I am ok with criticism because I know that the work that matters is work that polarises.
My ideas are more nuanced; much more abundant now.
The people who need me email me.
They want me in their lives more.
It's good to see the results of that work, and all I want is to do more.
I can't believe how much time I used to spend 'multi-tasking.'
Back to back Netflix, and the constant tug of social media. What a waste.
I'm glad I chose to stick with this. I was close to giving up before.
It makes sense now.
I have a reason to turn off the Internet.
I'm going 'all in' as they say. It feels right.
There is a warmth in my chest that is more persistent.
A gentle electric current.
I'm on my path.
I'm not as worried about money.
Maybe it's the new optimism.
Kafka said: "so long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being."
And he was right.
Because my obsession is the reward.
🔆
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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|
e4c12b0d9463
|
{
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[
{
"content": "When you’ve lost your sense of purpose adopt this thinking…",
"role": "user"
}
] |
When you've lost your sense of purpose adopt this thinking...
I'm falling through wet cloud.
Mist surrounds me, fills my skull; my heavy arms.
Nothing on which to hold, just fear, and the dullness of doubt.
Nothing tactile.
So I distract myself from this chaos.
At least someone else's Netflix story gives me somewhere to go. Holds my hand.
A journey of escape, at least for a while.
But here I am again, falling, watching myself fall.
I find it both sad and comical.
But something glints. A glimmer turns into a beam of light, and coagulates into a rough stick of concrete.
I grab it with both hands. Perhaps it's some writing I read.
I am imbued with a renewed sense of security. A warm feeling.
I ask myself:
Who do I want to serve?
What results can I bring them?
Not product. Not service.
Results.
I'm amazed by the power of two simple sentences. But I don't have long to gawp.
Right away I scribble ideas. Possibilities.
Whose lives could I make better? With whom have I loved to work in the past?
Who can I help more than anyone else?
Maybe it's people like me. That's ok. I know myself pretty well.
With what do I want to help those people?
How will I do it?
This is exciting now.
I'm leaving my head. I'm now in someone else's. Anxieties have drifted.
I'm the leader, no longer the sufferer.
It's not all about me anymore.
Finally.
The questions have been answered. I know where I sit. I see the niche the world needs.
I am clear on who to speak to and what to tell them.
I have the secret, and I need to share it.
I know what my business looks like. Not necessarily forever, but for the next phase.
My answers help me commit. Narrow down.
I'm no longer looking for the next thing; the back up in case it doesn't work.
No. I know what I want, and I have a pretty good idea of how I'm going to do this.
I see others now no longer as a source of fear but as friends.
My heart lifts, my soul is animated, and I can feel the ground at my feet.
🔆
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No, you don't need to have gone through hardship to be happy
I see people talking about how the kindest, friendliest, happiest people are often those who went through loads of misery.
'They've seen things.'
'Only those who've been to the dark side can truly know life.'
People say that what we've 'been through' will directly influence who we are today.
I do believe, however, that this is simply a load of rubbish.
Absolutely - many genuine, lovely people went through many struggles in their lives.
And it's beautiful to see.
(Note: find me one person who hasn't gone through some kind of significant 'trauma' or hardship by the time they're 20. I'll wait).
But to suggest that you must have gone through hell to be happy or in some way more genuine is - frankly - bollocks.
The exact same thing applies to the equally popular concept that if we go through a complicated past, we're in some way bound to these experiences, and they will forever tarnish or colour our present experience and enjoyment.
Uh, no.
Stop the nonsense. It's decreasing your intelligence and limiting you.
A huge misconception I see people falling for again and again and again is the idea that our past experiences must define our current behaviours and states of mind.
This is false.
They do not.
And the degree to which we believe this is true reflects how easily limited we are by false thinking.
Stop falling for lies.
How miserable or happy you are right now has nothing to do with what happened.
And, yes, I get it. It can often seem that way.
But there is no connection except the one we create in the mind.
It does, however, have a lot to do with how you CHOOSE to respond to what happened. Or whether you choose to respond at all.
In fact, if you stop obsessing about your freaking past for five minutes, no matter how difficult it was, you may have a fleeting moment of peace.
Yes, this is really possible.
How?
Because peace is our default state.
Such a state is realised when we stop thinking we're not OK.
We really can enjoy our lives and feel good, and be resilient and be cheerful and light-hearted and see the good in things and others.
Regardless of what shit happened to you.
Life can be great.
It all depends on whether you want it to be, out of choice.
It's a habit.
The less we entertain thoughts that we've been stunted by others or other events, the more this muscle is exercised and the more at peace we will feel.
We could have been through absolute misery and come out happy and wise.
OR:
We could have had a relatively painless, enjoyable childhood and come out happy and wise too.
And you know both can make sense.
We've all met people who operate on both sides of such a spectrum.
We don't even need to see how it works with other people to understand the inherent truth in this.
We can observe it in ourselves.
You'll know from personal experience that when you entertain thoughts of the difficult moments in your past, you will tend to feel bad.
Maybe your teacher said something mean to you, and you think of that memory just before you get on stage to give that talk. You feel the pain of that memory, close up, and deliver a poor speech.
You feel your thoughts.
That's how it is.
But if you aren't holding on to grim thoughts, you will not feel grim.
That's how it works.
So, why is all this important?
Because understanding this points directly to our ability to live a vibrant life, regardless of the shit we went through.
And regardless of who we think we are.
We're only as miserable to the degree we think we are miserable.
So you may as well choose happy.
🔆
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Fourteen tips for head-turning writing you won't find in any writing manual
Fourteen years of writing online, mostly crap, with a few gems, has taught me much.
You will not read this in any formal writing guide.
Enter at your own risk...
Don't share if it's not awkward.
Share pieces that make you a little nervous. We live at a time where few speak the truth for fear of being politically incorrect.
The messages we see in the media and lots of content are smothered in delusion, wrapped in an additional layer of bullshit. People are ravenous for honesty.
Say what few dare say. Don't get yourself banned - tread with awareness and grace - but don't let that be an excuse to avoid being real.
Readers flock to those with courage.
Don't be consistent.
Consistency is boring.
It's almost as dull as: 'discipline.' Yawn.
Instead, be relentless.
When you bring a warrior-like energy to even your daily writing, everything changes.
Consistency becomes effortless and inevitable. Attack with words. Show the world you mean business until they can't help but gather around.
Write shit.
Stop trying to write a damn masterpiece off the bat. Write total crap. Put all of that rubbish on the page.
Yes sir. Now we're talking. We're not giving a live performance - take advantage of that.
You can work in the shadows to start and edit later. When you give yourself permission to write poorly, everything becomes easy. Now you're in flow.
Give us your best.
Am I contradicting myself?
No. Don't release average filler just because you plan to give us your best stuff behind a paywall, or in a newsletter. Everything you share must be your best. Start writing crap, but keep writing until your words become pure power and your eyes water.
Forget perfection, but make it great upfront when you publish.
Sexually transmute.
Do not mix sexual release and watching porn with writing.
Particularly for men, good writing rarely comes after you've recently been staring at a high-stimulation screen, dopamine receptors fried to shit. Sorry, just the way it is.
Sexual transmutation will give you an advantage like little else.
You will surprise yourself with what appears when you reconnect with the deepest and most wholesome part of you.
Think less about grammar.
The best writing needs to be tidy, and grammatically accurate, yes.
But this aspect only takes up a few percentage points of what comprises the best writing. It's your willingness to open your heart and bleed on the page that does. It's accepting that you need to kill a part of yourself that does.
Elite writing is always a sacrifice.
Cut sugar and sleep-inducing carbs.
When I start the day, one of the first things I do is write an article. I don't write having ingested a ton of heavy carbs.
It's either a couple of raw eggs or nothing. This makes for a clear, energised body and mind.
Break the rules.
Use templates and writing rules, but then throw them out.
When you're new to writing, yes use templates and copy the greats. But the best writers relegate the rules to remote corners of their brains. They continually seek to obliterate the status quo.
They write to entertain, provoke, and inspire the hell out of themselves.
Write for the modern age.
This isn't Kansas anymore, sweetheart. In case you didn't notice, it's the 2020s.
The fundamentals haven't changed, but styles have. Conversational writing, for example, will connect more with most of your readers.
Stiff and formulaic journalism-esque styles may work to inform in some contexts, but generally, you want to keep it fun and loose.
Write like no one's watching.
So many writers end up putting out flat words because they're self-conscious as they write.
They self-censor and avoid saying certain things for fear of causing offence. When you're sitting in a cafe working on that article, you're providing a service people need.
Don't dilute the words out of fear. You want to first write like no one's watching - be outrageous.
Put it all on the page. You can always take out super-sensitive and unnecessary stuff after.
Be on a mission.
Write like you're on a mission to change the world.
Think massive. Even if you are writing in a specific niche, you want to write like the whole world could change as a result of your words.
If you do, it will. I don't care who you are, what colour your skin, where you're from or how 'privileged' you are. You must write like you've been chosen.
Adopt a persona.
Be the person you need to be to deliver the message in the most impactful way.
You aren't your 'personality.'
You choose who that is. Have fun with this. Words can make you mythical. You can adopt the persona of a jester, a provocateur, a visionary, or a modern philosopher with a duty to share.
When you place fingers on keys, you are no longer you.
Go to the gym.
Your work will transform by becoming in parallel what I call: a 'creative athlete.'
Writing isn't just about the writing.
It's about honing and maintaining your health as best you can in support of your writing and your life purpose. My best work always follows an intense and sweaty gym session.
It's like the body rewards you for taking care of it with insane levels of productivity and insight.
Focus on problems you truly care about.
The best ideas come out of your genuine concerns.
What do you think about obsessively?
What do you wish you knew? What wakes you up in a sweat at 3am? What do you hate about the world?
Go there.
Use writing as a means to work through these problems and find solutions.
Let the reader in on this process.
They will love you for it.
🔆
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Nine small things you can do right now if you're struggling
I've had many moments when I felt tired, fed up, overwhelmed and in despair.
It seemed like everything was going wrong. I had no out. I just wanted to lie in bed and do nothing.
But doing nothing, no matter how hard it seems, is the last thing you need to do.
When it seems like our world is crumbling, this is never how it really is. It just appears like this.
When it seems we have nothing left in the tank, this is not the time for big, drastic actions. either
You don't need to quit. You don't need to leave the country. You don't need to burn bridges.
You need a second to breathe. Stop revving on fourth gear.
You now need to re-engage first gear. And you need to focus on the simplest of actions.
The tiniest of actions are the most powerful thing in the world.
They transform you from victim to leader in a flash. And mindset is all that matters at this point.
The small stuff seems small, but - in the throes of despair - they are gigantic.
Try these:
Brush your teeth.
Tend to your self-hygiene.
Have a shower.
Do one thing that demonstrates the tiniest degree of self-care.
Show yourself that you do care. Get off your sofa, walk to the bathroom, and do it.
Even if you already did it.
This is a powerful act because it sets in motion other actions that represent ownership.
Clean up.
Wash the dishes.
Wash a single dish.
Clean the bathroom mirror. Make your bed. Do something that demonstrates care for your environment.
If you can't take care of your surroundings, you will have difficulty moving forward in your career, business and relationships.
Decide to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Pitching yourself as a victim in any way is tempting.
We do it because it feels like a relief, but deep down, it eats us up inside. Putting the blame on others feels empowering, but it will only emphasise your lack of responsibility.
Get aggressive here. Refuse to cower to the brutal voice inside that says you failed.
You may have made a mistake, but you're not a failure.
You're better than that. Stand up, look in the mirror, and say you refuse to be a little bitch.
Feel your true, warrior self blink awake at this point. Rise up.
Go for a walk.
It sounds inconsequential, but if a walk or some form of physical exercise outside is the last thing on your mind, now is the time to do it.
It's just a walk. It's hardly an Ironman.
Get your face in the sun, and walk with no agenda. Just walk and feel the ground beneath your feet.
Let your mind settle as you go. The more you move, the more you may find insights about what you need to do come to you without effort. This is the voice of your true self coming through.
Let the little dude speak.
Be aware of your emotions.
Sit somewhere comfortable and become an observer of your feelings, physical sensations and emotions that arise in the moment.
Give yourself time and space for this.
You are now a separate, curious watcher.
This is a powerful exercise because you separate yourself from your thoughts and emotions.
They are not you. They never were.
You are beyond that. Watch your feelings come up and observe them without judging. You will find the stuck feelings appear and then slowly diminish.
This is a foundational exercise for mental freedom because you need to know that you can separate yourself from your emotions.
Message a friend.
Think of someone important or interesting to you in your life.
Anyone you like. Send them a message of support. Just connect.
This is an act of rebellion for most because we rarely make the first move.
When we take action this way, we are taking the form of a leader, acting - not for ourselves - but for other people.
The struggle you feel when you despair is a form of self-consciousness, which you know hurts.
The solution is to look outward and become a good steward for other humans in your life.
One message.
Write a 'cool shit list'.
Get out a pad of paper and write down all the cool shit you can think of that brings you joy.
List out stuff that interests you. List out your wins. Brainstorm some ideas of things you'd still love to do.
Do this without getting in the way of yourself.
Don't judge. Don't get self-critical.
Just list some cool shit out. Re-energise yourself by putting your attention on good things; the things that ARE working in your life. The stuff you'd like to create.
You will find them.
Put on a podcast.
Or an audiobook. Or some music.
Allow someone else's creations to come to the fore for now, and listen to what they have to say. Perhaps listen to something you wouldn't normally do.
Allow yourself to be inspired by other people creating, making and doing.
You don't need to do anything other than enjoy someone else's work.
What's interesting about what they have to say?
What's one lesson you can take from this?
Write out a 'next three steps plan.'
Get out your notebook again.
We're going to create a plan. A simple plan.
A plan that takes you out of your overwhelming thoughts and into simple actions. I've given you some steps to take so far, but the next three are down to you.
This is a responsibility-taking exercise, and you're doing this for two reasons:
To re-instil a sense of empowerment in you. You have free will. You have the freedom of choice. You can create anything you want. There is tremendous power in this. You can do anything you want, and you can design exactly what this looks like.
Reinforce the idea that everything in life is made up of the tiniest of steps. You don't need to think about Everest before you climb it. You need to decide on three next steps to set your journey in motion.
Now you've taken a tiny step. But this step represents something massive for you. Because you're no longer at the mercy of your life.
You are an active participant.
Do you get how big that is?
You are the designer.
You're doing it.
Now, keep going.
🔆
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"content": "Why we have self-doubt and nine ways to drop the doubt and realise our inner badass",
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Why we have self-doubt and nine ways to drop the doubt and realise our inner badass
A common struggle of those in my community is self-doubt.
We have a goal. We look at what is required of us to achieve said goal. We feel self-doubt.
The trouble is that doubt often gives us a reason to avoid doing what needs to be done to get what we want.
Therefore doubt often holds us back from getting what we want.
That sucks.
We experience self-doubt for four reasons:
Evolutionary instinct.
Self-doubt can be a survival mechanism. Millennia of struggle on this planet has shown us the importance of being cautious so we don't die.
But this caution is often unhelpful in many situations.
2. Societal.
Society and culture often set high expectations and standards.
Messages from the media, family, and friends drive home the belief that we are not good enough unless we meet those standards.
3. Fear of failure.
This fear can trigger self-doubt.
Fear is positive in the sense it is trying to protect us, and doubt is how we rationalise that need to self-protect.
4. Inner critic.
We all have a voice that judges our reality. Again, it is there to protect us, but often, it just spouts nonsense that doesn't help us.
The good news is that all of this means you're human. We all experience it.
I still feel self-doubt. Doubt is a sign we're growing, and it will never go away fully. But it can be managed so that you can continue to live your life without being held back.
Here are some ways to diminish self-doubt so you realise your inner badass and live life to the fullest:
Set small goals.
Break things down and make it easy.
When you do these simple tasks, you realise you are capable and can take action and complete things. Instant confidence boost.
Get busy.
It's difficult, if not impossible, to have self-doubt when we're in the throes of action.
The more we do, the less in our heads we are and the better we feel. If you're stewing on the sofa, get up and clean the kitchen sink.
Notice how much better you feel.
Get consistent.
Rock-solid confidence is built in the land of consistency.
Consistent action on the things worth doing builds your discipline and your action-taking identity and actually leads to things getting built and created.
Consistently creating things will do more for your self-doubt than any pill.
Embrace your failures.
Chances are a lot of doubt emanates from our perceived past failures.
Seeing failure as a bad thing is a bad habit. This can be changed. It starts by seeing the lesson in past mistakes.
When we turn it around this way, we instantly feel better, and doubt fades. From here, we develop this habit by seeing any mistake as a helpful message from the Universe.
It gives us data we can use, nothing more.
Challenge your beliefs.
The real ninjas in this game never take their thoughts at their word.
They're acutely aware of the folly in buying into all our thoughts.
All our beliefs about who we think we are are estimations.
They're all constructed out of thought, and a thought is an illusion. Every opinion can be challenged.
When we do, we see a new perspective - an angle that instantly dissolves doubt.
Surround yourself with positive influences.
It's a cliché, but it is such for a good reason.
As social creatures, we can take the words of others seriously. If you're surrounded by assholes, you know what to do. Get out of there, sharpish. If you can't, have a stern word and be assertive.
Seek out positive mentors, coaches, and friends who want you to win and encourage you to take risks.
And if you can't find others for now, be your biggest cheerleader and surround yourself with good books, inspiring films and learning experiences.
Take care of your health.
I know, this one's kinda dull, but it's really the foundational piece.
There's a huge connection between physical and mental health.
Doubt takes a hit when we take on good habits, and operate from a healthy body, undisturbed by poisonous inputs.
Be honest with yourself now. In what ways are you mistreating your body (and thus mind)?
Be strong and cut it/them out.
Stop trying to 'fix yourself' and focus on success.
There are some things, as we've discussed, you can do to improve your situation.
Do it, but then move on quickly. The issue arises when we obsess about our inadequacy and enter into an often life-long pursuit of self-help.
What if you were okay just as you were?
Maybe it isn't therapy you need but to think more kindly of yourself and to chase big success.
Perhaps you cling to fixing yourself because it's comfortable and it gives you an excuse for holding back. It's time to let go.
Set yourself an exciting goal for some kickass project. Notice how you start to feel better immediately.
Take on more challenges.
Self-doubt often arises because, in our comfortable existence, we start ruminating in our minds unnecessarily.
We've created a cocoon of easy that's turning us soft.
Challenge solves that.
Brainstorm some ways you can introduce some hard things. How about going on a solo trip somewhere weird?
Extract one from your list and get to work. Put it in your calendar. Focus on creating things you want that also make you nervous about doing. That's where you need to go.
Challenge yourself, take action, and watch your doubt be replaced by belief.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
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e4c12b0d9463
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Seven things you can do right now to feel great for the rest of your day
Ever feel like you're getting in your own way?
Perhaps a handful of ideas can help you shift out of this unhelpful mindset, so you get back on track quickly.
Here are some:
1. Forgive your past self.
There will always be a weight on our shoulders if we can't let go of something we did in the past.
We must forgive ourselves to live a more enjoyable and expressive present life. Identify what you have trouble forgiving, then journal through to understanding.
This means listing out all the rational (at the time) reasons why you did what you did.
Self-love appears when you understand yourself better.
2. List 20 things you love about yourself.
Treat this as a fun exercise to lift your spirits.
Write a glowing list of all the stuff that you love about yourself - those things you can admire yourself for.
Those things that we can forget to acknowledge as we rush through life.
This is a list you can refer to whenever you feel shitty.
3. Accept your physical self.
Many of us have trouble accepting aspects of our physical selves, and we can fall into the trap of treating ourselves poorly, which makes this cycle worse.
First, you need to find a way to look at yourself in the mirror and find some compassion for who you are and what makes you different.
From here, you're better positioned to build on what you have and improve your health from a place of honest, loving energy.
4. Do one hard thing.
A lot of negative energy surrounds avoidance.
When we have things we know we need to do but keep procrastinating on doing them, the pressure of 'should' grows heavy.
Find one thing you've been neglecting, and commit to setting aside time to do it today, even if it takes just 5 minutes.
There's little that feels better than getting on top of a task you were dreading.
5. List 20 achievements.
Write another list, but this time we're focused on achievements.
Of course, an 'achievement' is subjective, so you can write down anything you are personally proud of.
This is for you, not for anyone else.
6. Accept your situation.
It may seem empowering to resist and worry and clench our teeth about the situation we find ourselves in.
But resisting reality only weakens us and clouds our minds with unhelpful thoughts.
The first step in finding solutions to anything troubling is to be honest with what's happening.
Accept it. It is what it is.
Relax into it.
From a relaxed place, we can get to work with a far higher level of performance and focus.
7. Decide to win in something narrow and outrageous.
A high vibe energy will always come with bold and exciting commitments.
Few of us make true commitments, and if we do, they're not colourful, exciting, or 'ridiculous' enough.
Commit to something that frightens you a little. Start a new leaf.
Write your dream book.
Commit to a $10k per month business doing whatever it takes.
Build a school in Africa. Go big so you can get excited about winning something that enlivens your soul.
To be any less excited about what's possible is to not only sell yourself short...
It denies the world your power too.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Seven mind shifts that make you immune to the fear of online rejection
If we're to succeed, grow and make an impact online in this 'creator's economy,' we need to get real with the idea that people won't like what we share.
Writing online for over a decade has been met with rejection, hate, criticism and lost followers and friends.
Yes, it can hurt.
But to enjoy freedom of full expression, and to develop a loyal following, you need to be at least OK with the idea that you won't always be loved.
Internalising these things helps me stay sane when creating things online:
1. You want to polarise.
Never leaning into your edges as a creator and avoiding saying what you really feel may ensure you avoid criticism, but it also means you never attract die-hard fans.
I'm not saying to be overly dramatic or abusive or unnecessarily offensive. This takes awareness.
But just know that if you anger some people with your views, you are likely attracting others at a similar level of emotional intensity. This is good.
You want to polarise because this creates stickier followers.
2. Self-esteem isn't real.
'Self-esteem' may seem like a thing because we've been told we need to protect and increase it all our lives.
But here's the truth: it isn't real. It is literally a made-up idea. YOU are made up.
All we are is humans are flesh, bones, some connective tissue and thoughts.
No one can harm us with words, nor do other people have the power to decrease something that isn't real.
Internalise the idea that you have nothing to protect, and you will experience relief.
A sense of unstoppable confidence will appear.
3. Understand 'tempering.'
In sword-smithing, they use a process called 'tempering' to improve the hardness and elasticity of the steel by reheating and then cooling it.
A similar effect happens in your journey as a creator and audience-builder.
You must anticipate periods of contraction (cooling) and moments of rejection, or you will quit.
It's all part of an overall strengthening and growth.
You could lose two followers as you gain five.
Your last piece might have been a hit, but the next one bombs. That's good.
Just don't quit, and you are guaranteed an upward trend of improvement and growth.
4. Rejection means you're in the game.
Many of us avoid rejection because it hurts and therefore seems like it needs avoiding.
Wrong.
Not in the modern age.
Not online. If people rarely say 'no' to our asks or reject what we create, what does that mean?
It means you're being too timid; it means you aren't playing the game.
To be in the arena means you must take some hits, or you will never be rewarded.
Rejection means you're in the game, and this is good. Take the hits.
This is how you win in the long run.
5. Haters show that you're important.
You will inevitably attract 'haters' if you create stuff and share what you really feel and think online.
I always say that your haters show you that you are important enough to be hated on.
You don't want to avoid the criticisers. You want MORE of them. Haters not only confirm that we're making a dent, but they are also often honest enough to give us the feedback we need.
If it hurts, it may be pointing to a truth our closest friends aren't willing to tell us.
Haters show you that you are courageous enough to share what you know to be true because the ideas are getting through emotionally.
This is the kind of stuff that makes an impact.
Get you some more haters.
6. Loss is a huge opportunity for growth.
It wasn't until I truly 'got' this concept that so much changed for me.
For a long time, I took rejection personally, closed up, and ruminated on these injustices for hours and even days. I experienced decline in the face of rejection.
But all we need is to shift our perspective and we can experience the opposite.
The moment we view rejection as an opportunity for a kind of spiritual practise, we can grow.
If someone's a dick to you online, don't type an angry tweet in response. Breathe.
Allow the feeling to wash over you. Remain open, instead of seizing up as always.
Be thankful for your hater.
This is a practice - a habit that will ensure an elite level of mental mastery over time.
7. Radical self-compassion.
You need to stop measuring your sense of self-worth and your actions based on what other people say and do.
They don't know shit about you. Seriously.
YOU don't even know who you are, so quit feeling bad when someone share's their dumb opinion about what you wrote.
We're just humans following what our chaotic thoughts are telling us at any given moment.
We need not make things personal. We don't need to take everything so seriously.
Instead, see through the personal thinking bullshit and you will find compassion.
Both for yourself and others. We're all doing the best we can given the thinking we have moment by moment.
Give yourself some slack and remind yourself that everything you do is done with the best of intentions.
You didn't wake up this morning seeking to hurt another, did you? No. Even that edgy thing you shared online that may have hurt some feelings was done because you want to help.
You know this. So stop giving yourself crap for something you said or did that was done out of love.
That is radical self-compassion. See things for what they are, and don't second-guess yourself.
Own what you say and do.
No one who left a legacy of any significance didn't hurt some feelings along the way.
Keep going.
We're waiting to see what's next from you.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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If you worry a lot, you need to read this...
I have an extremely active imagination.
Unfortunately, this has brought with it literally thousands of hours spent worrying.
I often say worry is a woeful misuse of the imagination. It really is.
It might seem as though running obsessively over our life challenges in our heads is in some way helpful. It never is.
When I understood this, so much changed.
I saw that whenever I worried, nothing in the world actually changed, except one thing:
I felt physically worse.
This is the role of worry: to make us less effective and more anxious.
That's it.
It brings us nothing good because worry is a misuse of our thoughts.
We always feel our thoughts.
Our thoughts create our reality.
You create everything.
Thoughts are great tools for planning, invention and foresight.
But they are useless when we run through the same thoughts repeatedly in our minds.
This only serves to tighten us up like a wet rag.
So, whenever something happens in my life that I dislike - or maybe I have money worries...
Whatever it is, I do this:
I remind myself that the clearest solutions come when I least expect them.
Out on a walk.
In the kitchen.
In the shower.
When reading a chill fiction novel.
And you know this is true because the same has happened to you.
These are now your priorities. Not worrying.
We never have 'aha' moments when we're in the throes of a sweaty rumination session in our beds at 3 in the morning.
Have faith in this beautiful and potent innate intelligence running through you.
It's the same creative power that turns an acorn into an oak tree.
The same brilliance that holds the stars in the sky.
This wisdom is there for you to tap into.
But only when you can relax again and be open and receptive to its power.
It's there.
Be gentle, and it will appear.
And when you hear a subtle 'ping' in your mind as the solution presents itself,
Now you can return to putting the solution into action via the power of your imagination.
It's a dance.
Just don't grab the sticky end.
If you feel stressed.
It's a sign.
A sign you need to let go and do something else.
It's time to find faith and relax into knowing that wisdom will appear when it needs to appear.
And when it does,
You'll wonder why you ever worried at all.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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19 sentences that will make you more creatively confident than 95% of people
Creative confidence is believing in your ability to generate and execute innovative ideas.
But creativity isn't just about art; it's a way of approaching life and solving problems.
Here are some insights I've gained to boost creative confidence and unleash your innovative potential:
We often mistake our judgments about our ideas as facts when they're just fleeting thoughts.
Most creative blocks stem from misunderstanding how our mind generates and evaluates ideas.
When we feel stuck, it's because we're currently thinking limiting thoughts about our abilities.
Knowing that every great creator has faced self-doubt is reassuring, so it's natural to question yourself occasionally.
You can't think your way to creativity, but you can create an environment that nurtures it.
Engaging in play and allowing yourself to be silly is one of the quickest routes to unlocking creativity.
Creative confidence is largely tied to how long you're willing to sit with uncomfortable, half-formed ideas.
When you view every "failure" as an experiment, you're on the path to unstoppable innovation.
You can't be creatively confident if you take criticism too personally.
You limit your creative potential if you can't separate your worth from your work.
The more you can observe your creative process without judgment, the more confident and innovative you'll become.
Cultivating curiosity about the world around you is the essence of creative confidence.
You stifle your potential if you see yourself as an isolated genius rather than part of a greater creative ecosystem.
Confident creators don't have special talents; they've just learned to silence their inner critic.
The most creatively confident people stopped seeking perfection and started embracing imperfection as part of the process.
We all have access to boundless creativity when we quiet our minds and open ourselves to new possibilities.
Fear of judgment always diminishes when we focus on the joy of creation rather than the outcome.
Creative confidence is a practice.
What could possibly hold you back if you own your creative journey, including the messy, ugly, and weird parts?
As Pablo Picasso said, 'Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.'
The most creatively confident people spend less time overthinking and more time creating.
What small, creative action can you take right now?
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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How to stay emotionally resilient so you don't get broken by social media
Working on my brand and online business has brought conflict.
I know social media can be full of junk, distraction and negative energy.
But I also see the incredible and endless opportunities for making new connections with fascinating human beings.
I see many people quitting, getting frustrated, and even depressed using social media.
That's no state to be in if you want to grow your movement.
What separates those who struggle and those who absolutely crush on social media?
You guessed it.
The OFF button.
I'm joking.
(Sort of).
There is another option, though.
And that is your mindset.
How you see things changes your experience and choices.
Here's what I mean:
1. Take the long view.
I always struggle when I have high expectations in the short term.
My happiness starts to depend on doing well today, tomorrow, this week.
When a post doesn't get the engagement I want, I feel bad.
When our expectations are high, we inadvertently make ourselves repeatedly frustrated. No bueno.
Take the long view. As others drop, you're still here - because you enjoy the process.
Understand that every little thing you do contributes, even if the results seem invisible. They're not.
2. Be willing to be unfollowed.
I used to feel a visceral discomfort in my chest when I lost a subscriber or follower.
Over time, my concern faded in line with how I viewed things. People unfollowing me isn't about me.
It's circumstantial. It's just data. But we can take it personally, which is silly.
Maybe they didn't need my content at that particular phase in their life.
And who's to know why anyone unfollows anyone?
You'll never really know, and, as such, you needn't stew.
You must take the zoomed-out approach. Your audience is like a living organism expanding and shrinking depending on the climate and the season.
As long as there is overall growth, fantastic.
There is a shape, a definition to the community you are building.
If you aren't repelling people, you aren't building a movement - you're building a vanilla audience. And a tepid gathering doesn't rave. They don't buy. You want unfollows.
You must also be willing to offend, look bad and make mistakes.
No great community was built by someone who got it all right anyway.
3. Don't argue.
You write a post. Someone shares a combative comment.
You share your emotionally-charged response. They bite back.
It's no longer about discussion - it's an argument.
It's become a proving match.
There's no logic in it anymore. This is when you must allow the other person to win the argument by stopping then and there.
Arguments won or lost don't get anywhere - and only serve to fray nerve endings.
They are time sucks.
Mature (and mentally resilient) social media users don't get into arguments.
They don't moan, troll, leave snarky comments, or complain unnecessarily, either. It's just not worth it.
Keep it light always.
Those who get serious create more trouble for themselves and wonder why they never make it.
4. Minimise Internet time to maximise your performance.
Every minute spent on social media when the Internet actively funnels in data is more time spent vulnerable to distraction, comparisonitis, and negative information.
If you're using social media in a way that uses your strengths, like interacting with good people in the DMs, great.
But if you know you're wasting time, you can proactively minimise that:
Use a scheduling tool like Hypefury, or hire someone to distribute your content.
Disconnect from the web when in creative mode on your computer.
Be strict about how you use social media, using it only for key active uses like commenting and interacting to grow your community and connections (business growth).
Stop using it as a source of stimulation. This jacks you up artificially and makes you numb. There are far healthier sources of stimulation like walks and books.
Log your time on each platform and keep it within a defined window.
Take at least one day, ideally two days, OFF social media per week.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Is it worth writing (your own words) online anymore?
People's attention spans are too short.
The market for writing is oversaturated.
AI will write all your stuff.
You should be making videos instead.
The algorithms are not helping writers any more.
With various concerns like these, is it worth even writing and publishing anymore?
Here are 11 reasons it 100% is:
1. Writing is easier to adapt and repurpose.
Other forms of content, like video, are harder to manipulate.
Writing can be more easily re-used, repurposed and edited, as I have done countless times with my written content online.
This makes my writing go three, four, or even more times as far.
2. AI doesn't have a story.
You do. Even if you decide to use AI support to write the bulk of your words, you, as a human, provide the all-important context that readers need when absorbing content.
An AI can't build a true personal brand because it's just a tool, without life experiences. That's where you come in.
Combine your writing with your story, and you'll cultivate a kick-ass audience for life.
3. It's not about writing anyway - it's about connecting.
To address the market saturation problem: yes, there's a ton of written content out there which will explode with AI content.
But this doesn't mean you can't stand out.
In fact, with more lifeless AI content out there and people taking shortcuts, it's becoming easier to stand out and connect emotionally with readers hungry for the honest, human touch.
4. Improved critical thinking skills.
Before I regularly wrote, I struggled to put my thoughts into words.
The process of writing improves your critical thinking skills and refines your thoughts.
5. Writing has long-term staying power.
Unlike video and other content forms, which can quickly become dated, well-written, updateable and searchable articles on timeless topics can remain relevant for many years.
6. Writing is an excellent foundation for other content.
Even if everyone on the Internet stopped reading words, your writing doesn't have to stop there.
Every article you write can be a video, a podcast, a course, the foundation for a short film - whatever.
It's never pointless to write and publish.
7. Communication nuance.
Writing allows for a more nuanced expression of complex ideas in a way that short-form video or other forms of communication cannot match.
8. A writing habit for mental resilience.
I have found little beyond regular writing to strengthen my mental toughness, creative muscle, and self-confidence.
I'd write every day even if no one was reading.
9. Accessible.
Written content is more accessible to a broader range of people, opening your content up to those who'd prefer reading over watching videos, for example.
10. Cognitive processing.
Reading engages different brain processes compared to watching or listening.
The depth of processing involved in reading often leads to better retention and understanding.
It's also far easier to control and process how you absorb written material compared to, say, a podcast.
11. Cultivating a deep-thinking audience.
When you produce thoughtful written content, you attract a specific type of audience that values depth, substance and the craft of writing and reading.
This is the kind of audience you want to continue to attract.
Consider these ideas when contemplating the future of your writing. There are no good reasons to stop.
And with new technologies opening up new audiences to your words...
It's only just beginning.
One of the best thing I did to improve my writing was learning how to still my mind.
(It's a writing secret no writing coach will ever share)
With less stress and the boost in creativity that a NON-overwhelmed mind brought me, I became one of the most prolific writers on the Internet.
I guide you by the hand on how to do this in my recently revamped Untethered Mind course.
Learn more, and join 235 students here.
Much love,
Alex.
🔆
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"content": "“Silent Guest” — a Micro Story",
"role": "user"
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"Silent Guest" - a Micro Story
He twiddled the thread at the end of his blazer sleeve. The deep silence was pierced by the reliable click of the Thomas the Tank Engine clock on the mantelpiece.
Normally he had something to say to alleviate the awkwardness. This time, nothing. He just couldn't speak.
A drop of sweat traced its way down his temple as he grinned like a fool at his guest.
'Would you like some biscuits?' He asked. But it was just a thought. No words came out. Don felt so self-conscious in her presence that nothing he could say was deemed worthy.
The guest shifted slightly on her cushion and slowly, calmly turned to face the window. Her jade eyes flashed as they met the light of the street lamp.
Another minute passed, and still the guest didn't utter a word. Don racked his brain for a memory; a moment that might explain his guest's apparent contempt for him.
'Reverse-psychology' he thought. That's it. Remember what Martin in the office said about being attractive. Show disinterest. 'Play it cool.'
Don let his shoulders drop, put a hand on either knee, leant back into the sofa, and let out a long, quiet breath.
He met eyes with the guest. She looked straight at him, blinked once and held her gaze. The intensity of the look forced him to divert his eyes to the Turkish rug.
It took him a moment to compose himself.
He took a sip of the tepid milk tea and placed the mug on the coaster with more care than was necessary.
He forced a smile again and looked out the window, trying to emulate the effortless ease in which the guest moved.
He turned his head slowly but stiffly back towards her.
She was gone.
A cushion with a dent and a tabby blur of tail as she glided out the door.
—
Click the heart if you enjoyed this story. I'm new to fiction so I would love to hear your support or criticism in any form.
Follow more stories and my illustrations at my personal site.
Thank you.
Originally published at alexmathers.net on March 21, 2017.
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"content": "If you want to be a leader people respect, avoid these ten things",
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If you want to be a leader people respect, avoid these ten things
You don't need to be the CEO of a glitzy corporation to be a leader.
We lead as small biz owners. We lead when we write and share online. We lead as siblings. We lead as coaches. We lead in our schools. We lead our families.
We all have the capacity in us to move those who matter to us.
Over my years as a human behaviour geek, these are the behaviours I see again and again in poor leaders that block you from making the impact you desire:
Avoid appearing flawed.
Great leaders know that they need to be relatable to inspire people to action.
If a leader is seen as too 'perfect,' they will not inspire trust but rather detachment.
Great leaders are willing to expose some flaws to encourage others to be ok with theirs.
Act aloof, superior, or submissive.
Great leaders communicate with those around them as equals, whether it's the bathroom attendant or their top manager.
This doesn't mean the hierarchical order is ignored, whether in a company or a family.
Hierarchies are there for a good reason, but they are challenging to maintain when members feel looked down on.
They will resist this, leaving the 'leader' confused at his lack of impact. A great leader ultimately seeks to make others look and feel good.
Dishonesty
If a leader resorts to telling lies to maintain 'order' in his leadership, he is doomed.
Lies have a short shelf life. They will either eventually be unearthed or pollute the environment because people sense something is 'off.'
When information is sensitive, it can be withheld, but great leaders always tell the truth.
Be Politically correct.
You need to tread with care here. I'm talking about leaders who have no interest in sugar-coating or straight delusion as a means to impress their followers.
They are willing to lose societal brownie points to serve their people best. They are ok with upsetting a few to serve the majority. I don't care how 'kind' an image you're presenting.
We can all smell your bullshit, and when we do - we do not respect you - even if we pretend to.
Instruct, but don't show.
The best leaders are intentional about encouraging others to be courageous.
But they will have trouble if they do not demonstrate it in their own actions.
When an opportunity presents itself, they let go of their need for self-protection, step up to the plate, and astound with their bravery.
Lose frame.
The best leaders understand 'frame-control.' In fact, this is THE secret to outstanding leadership.
What is 'frame?'
It is to exert your 'reality' as a leader while maintaining harmony. When an employee is abusive, the worst 'leaders' will react with anger, thus losing frame and respect.
The best leaders hold frame by remaining calm, even if they want to shout, thus enforcing a paradigm of psychological status and maturity that others will ultimately follow.
Rely on 'expectations.'
A very common mistake I see leaders make is basing the effectiveness of their operations on assumptions.
They expect people to behave a certain way and are upset when those expectations are not met.
Maybe Joe expects his sales team to continue hitting higher numbers, but many don't.
Instead of using the 'hope strategy,' great leaders continually make firm contracts with people on what matters.
People respond far better to clear, spoken, win-win agreements.
Now their people have something to prove instead of something against which to rebel.
Ignore the bigger picture.
Good leadership is about moving others to support the realisation of a mission that goes beyond everyone involved.
This gets people out of their personal woes and is a powerful element in energising the collective.
Find an emotional cause or set of values and commit yourself and everyone on board to that aim.
Not results-focused.
It's not about being 'busy' to maintain the illusion that things are happening. This is a total waste of valuable time and energy.
The best leaders are continually aware of the need to produce results in the direction of their stated objectives.
Avoid the uncomfortable truths.
Most 'leaders' avoid the real issues because they are scared.
Great leaders are willing to turn up the flame and broach topics that take courage and can potentially upset and trigger.
Why?
Because they know that solutions lie beyond discomfort. They are willing to go where few dare in service of finding solutions.
They use compassion in their approach, but they don't avoid the needed, uncomfortable conversations.
We all have the capacity in us to be outstanding leaders.
It takes awareness and care.
Your impact on the world is within reach.
🔆
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Ten subtle signs you are becoming more mentally resilient
If I had to pinpoint a single skill that will serve you more than any other in the coming years, it's resilience.
This is the ability to remain emotionally stable when life gets complicated.
Those who spiral into long-term emotional instability when something challenging happens are no good for themselves or the rest of the world.
Resilience - in a fragile world - is becoming a superpower.
Here's how you know you're moving in the right direction:
You spend less time ruminating on past regrets.
You find ways to forgive yourself for your actions and even what others did.
Those memories have less of a hold on you; in many cases, the things you once saw as regretful appear funny to you.
The idea of 'fixing' yourself is becoming less relevant.
Instead, you're prioritising your projects, goals, experiences, and generally kicking ass for fun.
You're taking care of yourself, eating and treating your body better.
In the past, you may have lost yourself in escapism and eating junk more easily.
Good health strikes you as a far better direction to move in.
It just comes naturally.
You aren't taking everything so seriously anymore.
You can see the humour in things, even if they don't initially present themselves as joyful or comical.
People are attracted to your light-heartedness.
When things don't go how you want them to, you find yourself extracting something useful from the experience.
In the past, you may have dwelled on the misfortune for hours or days. You found yourself depressed and frustrated.
Now, you can find the lesson in hardship.
Because of this, you can move on from perceived failures more quickly.
An interesting thing is happening to how you plan the future.
You're stewing on what you need to do less.
You see less value in over-analysis.
It just doesn't seem like time well spent. You know that when you get on with doing things, and developing good habits, what you need strikes you then and there.
You plan less and play with reality more.
You stop yourself more quickly now when you're in the grips of an anxious or stressful episode.
Why? Because the futility of overthinking is evident.
You see that most of your stresses and struggles are self-generated in your mind.
Even though stress appears to come from external things like annoying bosses, you know that any suffering ultimately comes down to you.
Seeing this for what it is makes it easier to let go.
You react in anger far less often than you once did.
When someone says something that triggers you, you may feel a spark of anger.
But that anger can be transmuted into calm more quickly now. You can create space between the seeming source of frustration and your reaction.
You're taking more interest in other people, their quirks and mannerisms, than yourself.
Whereas before, you found yourself self-conscious more often, other people, and maybe their struggles, are more interesting now.
The sense that you can handle life is with you more regularly.
It's difficult to explain verbally, but there is an ever more present vibrancy in you that springs from a knowing that the future will work out and work out for the better.
🔆
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"content": "Six steps to making paid membership money from a Substack newsletter",
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Six steps to making paid membership money from a Substack newsletter
I have two newsletters.
One for mind, and one for money.
But I love them both to pieces, and I enjoy my process, and they make me a cheeky bit of monthly income.
I make a few thousand per month from paid memberships on Substack in addition to the other income I make from things like workshops and coaching via my email lists.
Substack is a cool new newsletter platform that allows you to write and share newsletters, gain organic follower growth, and offer higher-tier options for paying members.
Here are 6 steps to making it work:
1. Set up on Substack.
You can import your current email list of subscribers or start fresh.
I imported my 20k subs a few months ago, which has since become over 40k.
2. Write free newsletters each week.
This can be weekly or more often, like in my case.
Free newsletters keep current subscribers interested while attracting new subscribers.
The more you publish, the more likely people will be to upgrade to your paid membership.
3. Bring new subscribers over to your Substack.
I added over 20,000 new subscribers to my 'Untethered Mind' newsletter last year.
I did this mainly by writing threads on Twitter and promoting the newsletter at the end.
I also shared the newsletter via my Medium articles.
Social media content creation is a great way to attract new subscribers, many of whom can convert to paying members.
You can also get new subscribers through the Substack 'recommendations' feature and even swap these with other creators to bring extra attention to your newsletter.
4. Create a paid option.
For my mind newsletter, the paid membership is $50 per year.
Give members plenty of incentive to pay for added perks. There are endless options to add value.
I have a mindset course I give access to for free, but I also give paying members access to past archived posts, paid articles, and soon I'll give access to videos and a live coaching session each month.
5. Continue sharing newsletters.
You can share free newsletters or occasional paid articles that are unlocked when members pay.
It depends on what you are making available to paying members. You must stay consistent.
6. Keep adding value to the paid options, and make people regularly aware of what they can get.
I do this by promoting the paid option at the end of every newsletter.
Continue repeating the process.
There you have it.
Stay in the game, have fun with the writing, and you may be surprised at what's possible this year for you and Substack.
🔆
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[
{
"content": "You know it’s good when it feels weird",
"role": "user"
}
] |
You know it's good when it feels weird
I have a month to prepare for my course launch on building a system that gets you daily newsletter subscribers.
Many of my testers are thanking me for helping them craft a system that works.
And I want to make it even more outstanding.
This means I am building five bonus courses this month.
Am I crazy?
Probably.
Am I driven by the fear of the launch being a failure?
Yes.
But I know I'm on the right track.
Why?
Because none of this feels comfortable, or reasonable, or easy.
That's how I know.
🔆
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"content": "Eight things to do if you just can’t focus",
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Eight things to do if you just can't focus
I know what it's like to feel like you have much to do but can't seem to find the motivation to get moving.
Your thoughts are all over the place, and you feel this overwhelming sense of pressure or even boredom.
Been there. Done that.
Not a fan.
Here are some things I always return to if I need a push in the right direction.
Get mindful for at least a minute.
You need to put an end to all this thinking that creates the illusion you're in control. You aren't.
Overthinking just makes it worse.
Meditation solves this. Focus on your breath for a few minutes.
This will reset your mind. You may find needed insights popping up within minutes of starting this practice.
Watch a movie.
Maybe you've been procrastinating and watching tons of films and videos, in which case, a movie is the last thing you want to do next.
But if you haven't, an immersive escape like a good film might be just the antidote.
Let yourself go to a good story and captivating visuals for a while.
Just make sure you do this to come back inspired.
Do the easy thing.
You're likely stressed about focus because the task overwhelming you.
But you needn't do that now, especially if it seems like a massive burden.
You would fare poorly anyway. You need to work yourself up to it. Start easy. Do the dishes or pick up those smelly socks. Do it even if you don't feel like it. It won't take a few seconds. Now you're creating an action-taking identity.
This energy will feed into your next act, building momentum.
Stop trying to 'work' and leave the house.
None of us were built to sit indoors all day, especially if we're stewing about how little we're doing.
We get a needed jolt when we step outside, feel the sun on our faces, and move our bodies. Go to the gym or go for a walk around the block.
Ideally, get in among nature and touch trees.
Being outside in motion stills the mind, which you need if you feel overwhelmed.
Stop resisting scary feelings.
The main reason you're stuck is that you're standing on the cliff edge looking down.
Everything looks scary from here, and it feels even worse in your chest. But nothing happens if you can't lean in.
You have a parachute. You have the power to sit with your feelings and go.
Everything is possible when you make peace with the prickly discomfort of it all.
Read a few pages.
Train your attention to zero in on less.
Until now, you've been flipping through twenty-seven Instagram reels a minute. No wonder you're distracted like a badger on crack.
Pick up a book and read.
Focus on what each line is telling you. Visualise what is being shared. Stay with this for a minute. Now, make it five.
Now you're enjoying the practice of focus.
Do 30 press-ups.
You have a floor you can use. You can do press-ups.
Even a handful. Get the blood moving.
When the blood starts flowing, you become a different person, transporting oxygen to your flagging brain.
Return to your plan.
We procrastinate because we adopt a productivity strategy that says, 'Let's think about all the shit I need to do.'
Yeah, like that will help.
Unplug this bottleneck by looking at your plan.
What can you eradicate that just isn't necessary? Delete. What are your three highest priority things right now for today? List them out.
Now you're returning to ownership. It's about figuring out what's important. Not seemingly urgent, like answering Derek's tedious emails, but important.
Out of the three, what's the number one thing worth your attention. Call it out.
This one thing is all you need to focus on right now.
🔆
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Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
|
e4c12b0d9463
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"content": "Four killer reasons every creator must write",
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Four killer reasons every creator must write
Ray Bradbury once said "you must stay drunk on writing so that reality cannot destroy you."
Some of you may have perked up at the idea that a famous writer has endorsed writing blog posts while smashed on gin and tonics.
What this really reveals is something important about how useful writing is in our lives.
It is not just for those who do it professionally and it's not only for those who want to write books.
Writing has the power for us all to regain a hint of control amidst the chaos of reality.
For more than ten years, I've called myself an illustrator. But secretly, I've been a writer all along.
It has helped me in many ways, and it can help you too.
1. You Will Figure Out Your Voice
Writing and sharing it publicly has allowed me to develop a voice while avoiding the need to comb my hair for YouTube videos.
"Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good."
– William Faulkner
Writing allows you to become better at formulating ideas over time, and to communicate with more prowess.
Most importantly, it will help you work out what reverberates with you and others, which you can speak about more confidently anywhere.
I've found personally that I love writing about making an impact with our creative skills.
Some people, I've found, even enjoy reading it! But my voice and my passion on this has grown through writing lots, based on personal experience.
The cool thing is you can read over what you write and order your words so that people think you're really clever.
I'm pretty sucky at speaking my words. I'm much better at sharing ideas through written words.
Many shy artists are daunted by the idea of appearing in front of a camera. People rave about the importance of producing videos and podcasting for marketing. They are effective, but writing has its place, and it can lead to video and audio if you choose to go there.
The written word, in my view, will continue to be the most enduring form of media many decades into the future, leaving a legacy for those that contribute words that aren't only about what they had for brunch.
Video ages like milk; writing like a fine chardonnay.
2. You Will Attract People
There is no shortage of talented people producing incredible things.
To be noticed in the clamouring rush of production, you need an advantage that goes further than sharing the art itself.
"Tell the readers a story! Because without a story, you are merely using words to prove you can string them together in logical sentences."
– Anne McCaffrey
Writing about your art, the process, your experiences, how others benefitted from it and even teaching others your own skills, creates context.
People need to see that you are not only a creative but also a leader, in your own unique way. You are someone who thinks about where your work fits into the world and is willing to tell people about it.
Creating work for clients and buyers is no longer just about the finished product.
It is a process of understanding what they need, helping them get what they want, and showing them that you are a real life thinking human.
Writing shows them that you understand this.
Telling stories, and building context around your work will get into people's heads and attract them to you.
This will encourage people to follow you and want to work with you.
What you write outside of your creative work can also be directed to courses, books and teaching, that can possibly make you rich, but will strengthen your image as a leader.
3. You Will Feel Better
Whether you share your words in public or you keep them bound in a leather book with a heart-shaped key hole, writing is one of the best sources of self-therapy I've come across.
"Writing is its own reward."
– Henry Miller
When I put my thoughts to paper, I can feel the discharge of the energy that clings to them.
Writing takes you out of your head, into the physical world and helps you think more rationally about things like how much you want to throttle that troll on a Facebook comment.
If I get frustrated about anything, I will dump them (the words, not the troll) onto paper, write out the solutions, and I always feel better.
I use personal and work-related qualms as sources for new blog posts that I can share, helping others in the process - also therapeutic.
4. You Will Be More Creative
My decision to write every day has been my single most potent source of ongoing creativity. It has seeped into all other areas of my life.
"There's no such thing as writer's block.
That was invented by people in California who couldn't write."
– Terry Pratchett
Optimal creativity needs clarity and motivation.
Writing gives you both because it is a process of laying down and ordering your ideas, which is stimulating.
If you paint pictures, for example, I challenge you to begin writing out thoughts about your art, even if it is a jumbled, unedited mess.
This will help you think and gives you energy that can be transferred to painting.
Writing regularly about your experiences and what is charging you emotionally, builds a personal manual you can refer to over time to help track your growth and spur new creative projects, including written pieces.
"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous." - Robert Benchley
You might be worried that your writing will be ignored and your time wasted.
It can take time and piles of tumbleweed before more than two people read each of your articles. But it will come if you keep doing it.
Writing about your own frustrations in a way that is helpful to you and others is the best starting point.
Use what I call the 'no-traction' phase to write for yourself and practice in the dark if few are reading it.
Use it to smooth out your ideas, release pent-up emotion, and more than anything...
ENJOY doing it.
🔆
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One freaking thing at a time - a simple strategy for being a productive powerhouse
Picture a box of juicy oranges in front of you.
You have been set the task to peel them all. How would you do it best?
Well, one orange at a time, with a sharp knife, you say.
Correct. I'd do it the same way too.
But most of us try to pick up as many oranges as we can. When we hold a handful and try to peel them, we end up dropping several.
Sometimes, at the end of the day, we find ourselves surrounded by dropped, unpeeled oranges. We try to take on so much that we don't do anything. We never find enough purchase to hold on to anyone's orange.
We need to think of our daily tasks as oranges.
Each one requires a firm grip without being distracted by any other orange.
We'd also peel that orange with a sense of enjoyment, flow and a hint of indulgence.
So take on one orange at a time, one task at a time, and find a way to enjoy it.
I don't know about you, but my biggest issue has always been trying to do too much. A fleeting source of enjoyment came in the idea of finishing everything.
And of course, this meant rushing through my tasks, doing too many things at the same time and failing to complete much at all.
Now I think in oranges.
I think in fifteen-minute chunks of dedicated activity to one thing.
You can do the same.
Or ten minutes (plum).
Or five minutes (chestnut).
Ask yourself:
What is the ONE thing I will do in the next fifteen minutes that would be the best use of that time?
Now do only that. If it needs longer, add another fifteen.
Don't rush. Indulge in the idea that nothing can distract you in this little time-block.
It's not about moving more quickly or more slowly.
Every 'time guru' provides conflicting information on this.
Some say to breathe and slow down. Others say to act with urgency and speed.
How fast you move is not the issue.
When you are in a speeding mindset, you will try to do too much at once.
When you consciously slow down, you lose control through wandering.
The gold comes from doing one thing after another.
Be with one thing. Then be with the next thing, and minimise the time you spend between oranges.
You'll get more done that way no matter how fast you move.
And, usually, you'll move quickly without rushing because you are in the flow - the now - of one after another.
If you can master one after the other, you are in the top 1%.
Thinking in these dedicated blocks is a habit. Get better at it by doing it. Write '15' on your hand. Get a bracelet to remind you.
If you're like me and shut down at the idea of 'time-management,' worry less about routine, organisation and structure, and more about the next fifteen.
The next orange.
Be aware of your priorities, yes.
You don't want to leave the most essential stuff until last. Go for the juiciest oranges first—ideally, the hardest to peel.
Place each peeled orange in a visible box, so you know what you've done. Write down what you've done or check it off. This feels good.
You'll be surprised at how much time you have when you think in oranges.
What will you do in the next fifteen minutes?
🔆
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Eight behaviours that instantly increase your perceived status
People make snap judgements about who they think you are based on extremely subtle cues.
That's how it is, but we can take advantage of this aspect of human nature.
Here are some small 'superficial' changes you can make to increase your perceived value, status and respectability:
1. Straighten up your posture a fraction.
Just the tiniest shift by standing a little taller, sitting up, and injecting a sense of pride into your general demeanour will do two things.
Firstly, people will sense the difference and associate you with higher status, even if there's nothing else contributing to this idea.
We're still basically chimps in clothes.
The leader of the pack walks tall and a little slower.
Secondly, you will feel higher status, which creates a self-fulfilling loop of general badassery.
Walk tall.
2. Smile less.
Ok, wise guy - I didn't say don't smile at all, so don't give me shit for this. Also, this applies far more to men than women.
A non-smiley man is mysterious and often sexy to ladies.
Not the case for women.
If you NEVER smile, however, regardless of sex, you just seem miserable and thus lower in social standing.
However, if you're sparing with your smiles, you actually come across as more authentic - they did studies on this.
Plus, when you DO smile, its effect is magnified, which melts hearts.
3. Physical looks.
You must look your best physically, given the cards you were dealt.
I'm sorry that human nature is the way it is and things aren't fair, but nature is not fair.
There is a lot, however, we can do to improve our looks through losing that extra weight, reducing alcohol for better skin, getting a haircut, fixing our teeth, and so on.
You need to do whatever you can and whatever it takes to look physically more attractive.
Slovenly-looking schlubs are simply more likely to be viewed as lower status. If you take care of yourself others will take care of you.
Let this incentivise you to take action and improve your outward appearance.
4. Slower movements.
Talking and moving a fraction slower tells us this: you don't rush for anyone; you're comfortable in your skin and have faith that things will work out. Rushers are subservient to time.
Slow movers have the world mould to their reality.
The other advantage of this, beyond attracting attention as a high-value person, is that everything becomes easier.
Rushing complicates, and it also puts others at ease.
5. Sharpen up your clothing.
Whether we like it or not, an unironed shirt suggests you care less than the guy standing tall with an ironed shirt and clean shoes.
Tidy up before you head out the door. Comb your knotted hair. Wash out the stains on your trousers.
Tiny changes - major influence.
6. Slower to agree.
You needn't be combative, critical or judgemental. I'm talking about being a little slower to agree with those you're with.
Give what people are saying some thought.
Allow for some space in conversations.
Be ok with silence.
Most people desperately want to please the people around them out of a sense of misinformed insecurity.
So they compensate by nodding along to everything without truly listening.
Not the high-status person.
You don't always agree because it's near impossible to agree with everything anyone else says.
You have your own opinions and are not afraid to tell it like it is.
7. Rarely draw attention to self.
High-status people don't need to tell everyone about how high status they are.
It is implied through behaviour, mannerisms, and what isn't said. True 'high status' isn't a material thing at all - it's far more to do with one's character.
The high-status individual cares more that they win while others are also winning.
So they focus their attention on what's good about other people and make a point of making others feel important.
This is highly respectable. In this way, you can be broke but possess status through how you relate to people.
This behaviour attracts money if played well over the long term anyway.
8. Stay upbeat.
How we behave in this chaotic world has little to do with our outward circumstances, the amount of money we have in the bank, the weather, or who we're with.
It's down to us.
People who can stay upbeat, especially when things get a little more challenging, will be viewed better.
Why?
Because leaders have the power to lift those around them; otherwise, they couldn't make any impact.
This is highly attractive and can take courage, especially when stressed.
You will stand out when you can keep things light and motivate people to act, no matter the situation.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
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Nine things Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power taught me about building a lucrative coaching business
I've been a business and life coach for over eight years.
It took me years to get into the flow of creating new clients and charging decent fees for each client.
It's an art that relies on understanding the quirks of human dynamics very intimately.
Robert Green has played a big part in helping me navigate this world.
Not everything he shared needs to be used as a power play. But his ideas have helped me in business tremendously.
Here are nine ways the ideas from his bestselling book have helped me and my clients in business:
Act like a king to be treated like one 👑.
Much of coaching revolves around setting an example for your client.
I was, and still am, often nervous during calls, but when I speak assertively, even if the negative voice is piping up, it encourages belief in the client too.
This is why it's crucial to focus on your strengths and areas of deep interest as a coach.
It's far easier to settle into your king-like flow when working in your zone of genius.
Recreate yourself.
Great coaches attract interest and intrigue through the image they project.
The way I do a lot of this is through my writing.
People want to work with people that stand for something. You must be willing to emphasise what makes you different to stand out.
Most importantly, it permits those you work with to do the same.
Maintain and guard a positive reputation.
Much of a thriving coaching practice requires that you help clients get results.
Encourage clients to give you testimonials and to forward you to people they know who can also benefit.
They will tell others about their successes, and your business grows based on word of mouth.
Master the art of timing.
Never be in a rush to get clients.
It gives off an air of neediness that puts clients off. This is a long-term game built on a sense of abundance.
If one client doesn't work out, no worries.
There are other opportunities, and you have options.
Your priority is making professional friendships first and closing a sale second.
Don't talk down to a client.
In his first Law: Never Outshine the Master, Greene says we must avoid coming across as superior to those in positions of higher authority.
In the case of coaching, you want to approach all conversations not from a subservient angle but in the spirit of collaboration.
You want to be relatable and not perfect.
This means revealing aspects about you, the coach, that are imperfect.
At the same time, you want to ensure the client can see what's possible for them.
Play into people's fantasies.
The equivalent of this in the world of coaching is the power of painting a vivid picture of what the client's life could be like with your support.
Clients pay for coaching when they believe they can be transformed.
Selling a transformation starts with showing them what's possible.
Win through your actions, not through argument.
You can't argue your way to a coaching client.
By this, I mean avoid doing what most do: trying to persuade based on a concept rather than on in-the-moment results.
You demonstrate your coaching or help them envision the transformation they get before a sale.
This is why I run free sessions first, so prospects can experience how I can help without needing to sell it.
Assume formlessness.
No client has benefitted from my enforcing my guidance on them.
Though presenting a loose program to the client to give direction is helpful, every client is different.
As such, you want to be open to adapting your approach to everyone you work with.
This means listening more than you speak.
Always court attention.
In a noisy world, you need to do everything you can to stay in front of mind of those who could work with you.
This is why I've been working on developing a stand-out personal brand, social media audience and newsletter for many years now.
Most clients come to me because they already know who I am and what I stand for.
Growing your brand and monetising your unique skills and talents is an art.
It requires an understanding of the intricacies of human nature so you don't get swallowed by the complications they represent.
Following mentors like Robert Greene, who relay human nature as it really is, is a great start.
🔆
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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Why you only need one simple system to win
Ever feel like your goals are slipping through your fingers because there's just so much to do?
Most people fall into the trap of spreading their energy across dozens of ambitions.
I know the feeling because there's JUST so much cool shit to do, and so little time.
We're trying to eat better, grow a business, get fitter, learn French, read 52 books, AND meditate daily. But the result?
Overwhelm, a case of the icky icky, and a graveyard of unfinished projects.
Sadly, the ambitious can get punished for this.
Success doesn't come from doing everything.
It comes from doing one thing well.
And then, once you've nailed that for a good two months, you stack the next thing.
One of the most impactful lessons I've learned in my years of coaching is that you don't need to tackle 20 things at once to create a better life.
You just need one well-designed system to make consistent progress on the one thing that matters.
What's that one thing that will create the highest leverage for you?
By leverage, I mean small, regular inputs = significant results over time.
Maybe it's writing 1000 words per day.
Or a daily 40-minute walk.
Or reaching out to 3 potential clients daily.
What's your game-changing habit?
A focused system works because it does the heavy lifting for you. It turns your goal into small, actionable steps that compound over time.
This is the magic of having a single system.
It's a a clear, focused plan you can commit to, without second-guessing or wondering whether you're ready. You just do it.
Big results don't come from big leaps or cool shiny overnight events.
They creep up quietly in the darkness.
Ask yourself: What's one area of your life where a small, simple system could create massive change?
Start there.
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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The most fulfilled introverts avoid these eight things
I'm an 'introvert.'
It's been obvious to me ever since I discovered the term over fifteen years ago.
I remember being so relieved when I learned this.
I no longer saw myself as such a freak.
I know how easy it is for introverts to suffer; to feel different; to feel isolated.
But living an enriching, happy and fulfilled life as an introvert is possible.
We just need to be careful of the following:
Buying too deeply into the 'introverted' label.
Too many take the introverted thing too seriously. It is not an affliction. It doesn't need to define you.
It is a guide towards how we handle external stimulation. Introverts appear to be more sensitive to stimulation, notably social. It doesn't mean that we are socially incompetent.
This is a skill that anyone can learn. It means that introverts are more likely to be less practised in social situations because we don't expose ourselves too much to this kind of stimulation.
We need only accept that we can be more sensitive.
And this can be seen as an advantage rather than a disadvantage.
Beating yourself up about how you prefer time by yourself.
Introverts tend to charge their energy when they are away from people. This doesn't mean we should be without people entirely - it just means we need to find compassion for ourselves, and how we are energised.
Dwelling on the past.
Ask 96% of introverted adults, and they will tell you that they had a tough and often alienated early life.
I have since learned to reframe my unfair beliefs about myself, to accept me for who I am, to explore and love my gifts, and to chuckle at the embarrassing moments.
Do not allow the past to interfere with your right to live well.
Being real about your sensitivity.
I have always been very sensitive to stimulation.
University was frequently difficult for me because I went along with the boozing, poor diet, parties and smoking - and the often deep anxiety that came with that.
The reality is that many can handle stimulation like this and be fine with it.
I couldn't.
You need to listen to your body and be real with what you need - not with what works for others.
Say no to following the crowd if it ultimately stresses your body and soul and makes you miserable.
Going hardcore hermit.
There is a risk that introverts can go too far in a direction away from social interaction. I have fallen into this.
Knowing that I deal well with solitude, too often gives me an excuse to avoid interacting with people.
Being introverted does not mean that I do not benefit from being around people. We need it like we need vitamin B12.
So I include both parts. I enjoy plenty of solitude. I love to make art; to read and write, alone. But I make sure to include social activity in my life and work too.
"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring." ~Alfred Adler
Tolerating rumination.
Introverts love to think, and tend to have a powerful and well-used imagination.
The danger lies in combining a negative outlook with obsessive imagination.
This is rumination and can make us depressed and anxious. Nothing good comes from this mode of thinking.
We must be intolerant to it when we sense it coming on. It is a practice, and it is vital.
Dismissing your social skills.
It's easy to assume that introversion is synonymous with poor social skills.
This needn't be the case. Introverts can - and often are - the most skilled speakers, networkers, leaders, and 'people-people'.
Most of us are fascinated by human nature, or at least take a more analytical and careful approach to social dynamics.
Many of us have had terrible social experiences too, which makes us often more likely to want to get it right later in life, if we choose that path.
Just because we're introverts does NOT mean we don't care about others, and cannot work on our social skills.
Follow 'what you love.'
Many introverts who follow this cutesy phrase to the letter usually end up depressed.
Why?
Because if we all followed merely what we loved to do, we'd never do anything that challenged us.
Those who understand that some hardship is an integral part of maintaining passion in something will be immune from the dangers of such a saying, but others will not.
Introverts need to be wary here.
Don't follow what you love.
Instead, follow your potential.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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e4c12b0d9463
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"content": "Fourteen unusual ideas that will make you a more effortlessly consistent writer",
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Fourteen unusual ideas that will make you a more effortlessly consistent writer
You've heard it before. Consistency is one of the most important - if not the most critical skills - in your arsenal as an online writer and brand-builder.
The top writers who make the most impact have mastered the art of consistently showing up to write and publish.
The accumulation of content and the lessons learned through such a process make a profound difference.
But I know how hard maintaining consistency can be. There are always reasons we can find to confirm we needn't bother.
Let's take a look at a handful of ideas that I continually refer to that help me stay on track:
Instead of creating rigid routines that feel like an obligation (that you'll want to rebel against and avoid), find a way to write so you can't wait to return to writing.
You will give up if you aren't somehow emotionally invested in your writing, so for goodness sakes, stop writing shit that doesn't jazz you up.
Honour your commitment to your craft by setting yourself up with a dedicated writing place that's cosy, appealing and at least fairly kickass.
If you like to work in cafes or away from home, find the best places. Don't go to a cafe just because Shirley from Facebook recommended it, and you can't work for shit in it because it's too hot, pokey and full of screaming children. Treat yourself like a writing King or Queen. Give yourself the corner office on the top floor. Have somewhere or a selection of places that you look forward to returning.
Look forward to the uniqueness you bring. You can't ever lack originality because only you are you, and only you have ever been you. Every pain you've felt and sacrifice you've made colours your words in a way no one has ever seen. Own that uniqueness and inject it into every word.
Stop regarding writing as insignificant or somehow old-fashioned. If you know you have a message that people need to hear or you have potential, you must do what it takes to get it in front of those who need to hear from you. You must value your message and the lives it will change. Regularly remind yourself of your why. Meditate on it today if you need to.
Worry less about focus, habits, systems, discipline or any of that other man-made mumbo jumbo. Just find the time to write cool stuff you can't wait to write about.
Stop writing how you think you should write and write how you want to write (keep it grammatically tight, however). This will loosen you up and make consistency feel like a skill you never had to learn.
They say you must focus on the process over results, and it's become cliché, but it is essential. What does this mean, though, when it comes to writing? It means wanting a piece you write to do well and get loads of love and likes is great but don't let that be the only thing. Strive to prioritise the idea that writing a lot improves you as a writer, communicator and leader. You must see the reward in simply finishing and sharing what was once a thought on your walk into town.
Make time to read regularly. The most motivated and creative writers are students of their own craft, always filling up on inspiration from other writers.
Be assertive even if you don't feel assertive. You choose yourself when you decide to write. When we choose ourselves, we have an opportunity to air our opinions. This is not an opportunity to regurgitate some version of what Jacob blurted out at the dinner table last Wednesday. This is your time to tell us what you think. Approach everything you write like you know the world urgently needs to hear it.
Get great at writing words that make sense. Many people think they can write but their words are odd and tough to decipher. You must find a way to experience your writing like you are the reader. Read back your words and see if they make sense through the eyes and ears of an innocent bystander who doesn't know you. Your results will improve when you get good at this, and you'll look forward to writing more.
Everything you write, from a tweet to an essay, can be viewed as an experiment. You should always make small tests to see what works and what doesn't. This means being conscious of what small thing you can do this time that you haven't done before. The more you know, the more you can do to improve your work.
Regularly reflect on the tangible impact of consistent writing. If you can't see the attritional power of continual published writing, why would you sit down to do it in the first place?
It gets a lot easier to want to sit down to write often when you make the piece personal to yourself or someone close to you. Adopt the mindset not of compiling some stuffy term paper with a deadline but instead that you are transferring a riveting conversation you're having with someone you very much like from your mind into words on paper.
🔆
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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e4c12b0d9463
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"content": "Eleven little behaviours that make you instantly immune from giving an F about what others think",
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Eleven little behaviours that make you instantly immune from giving an F about what others think
I've given many shits about what people think all my life.
It made me depressed and attracted even more disrespect.
It never felt good, so I did everything possible to learn about not giving an F.
1. First, know that not giving an F is not about being anti-social.
It's about accepting reality and being OK with it.
When we're OK, we are happier, which benefits the people around us.
2. Let go of taking yourself so seriously.
Self-esteem is something you've made up in your head. Use your common sense, but don't allow your need to look perfect pollute your joy.
3. Put your attention on making others feel good and more empowered.
Now the attention is OFF you, and you'll be less self-conscious.
4. Know that people are just as weird, fucked up, and insecure as you.
No exceptions. NO exceptions.
We are all connected in this, and this is soothing.
5. You will offend people no matter what stance you take.
Accept this, speak with heart, and learn to be OK with the reality that people will dislike you.
6. Your performance and flow go DOWN when you're self-conscious.
The antidote to self-consciousness?
Stop trying anything. You don't need a clever 'mindset.' You need to relax.
7. Act the part.
Lean into the part of you unaffected by other people's opinions of you.
You can find that side of you.
You need to be open to the idea that this part of you exists.
8. The most relaxed people don't care that they don't have all the answers.
No one really knows shit. So stop preplanning.
Let it flow.
Let your creative wisdom rise up when you need it.
9. Treat your body better.
You can't be at ease in your own skin when you treat your body like garbage and continually feel like trash.
You must do what you can to feel good and maintain a stable mood.
10. Do nothing.
Too many gurus talk about all this stuff you need to think about when you're in the moment.
That gets you out of the moment, dumb head. Relax and focus on being where you are.
11. Stop taking your thoughts seriously.
Thinking about what's 'wrong' with you or how scary other people are makes it worse.
People are not scary. Your thoughts are. So ignore them, and face up to people...
Who are mostly as scared as you.
🔆
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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"content": "Avoid these eight behaviours if you don’t want to be ignored",
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Avoid these eight behaviours if you don't want to be ignored
There are downsides to always being seen. But there are many reasons we'd want to stand out too.
If you don't want to fade into obscurity, read this:
1. You are predictable.
There's a reason Picasso became so famous, and his pieces sold for such high prices.
He kept himself in the public eye, but he struck the right balance between visibility and unpredictability.
He constantly changed his style, and this caught everyone off-guard. If people know your next move, they lose interest.
2. Hesitant.
Once you've made a decision, whether it's to pursue a new project, contribute in a meeting, write an article, or go on that date, you need to be bold and fluid in your movements.
This signals confidence, not only to those around you but to yourself too.
This results in a positive feedback loop that raises your status and feeds into your identity as an assertive and attractive human.
3. Overlook small aesthetic details.
It may seem inconsequential to forget to iron your shirt, comb your hair, or cut your nails, but these details get noticed.
Always be aware of the message you transmit in all that you do.
People are surprisingly well-attuned to picking up on these little things.
The small details hold more power than brazen displays.
Now you need to find the balance in addressing the superficial while not being overly self-conscious.
4. Overly visible.
The more you are seen, the less visible you become. Your presence is stronger in the mind than in the flesh.
This means that when you aren't there and you are missed - this is when you feature more strongly in the emotional experience of others.
This is why strong relationships thrive on occasional absences.
Strike a balance between being seen in person and being remembered in mind. You become more visible by occasionally making yourself invisible.
5. Fit in.
Most of us subconsciously dedicate our lives to being like everyone else. We learned that pain is attached to standing out.
We can't bear the idea of banishment from the crowd. But to stand out is to gain an unfair advantage in a homogenous world. You must develop your quirks and own your 'strange.'
You needn't be a walking freak novelty.
That's try-hard. Just demonstrate fearlessness in your uniqueness, whether in your appearance, talents or behaviours.
This will lift you far higher than the masses.
6. Talk too much.
I barely spoke in class at school, and I was generally invisible.
It wasn't until later in life that I learned the value of contributing but not giving too much away.
Let others make mistakes by speaking too much, thus appearing ordinary. Not you. Maintain an air of mystery by withholding information and listening more, like a clever cat.
This increases people's interest to the point they are dying to ask you questions.
7. Take sides.
Those who turn heads demonstrate a refreshing individuality that others seem to lack.
Those with a compulsion to back up one team, argue for a cause, or pledge allegiance to a particular faction inadvertently give up their power.
There's nothing wrong with this per se, but those who garner the most attention are rarely disciples of any one doctrine or dogma.
They take only one side: their own. This independence, bordering on the aloof, draws people to you.
8. In a hurry.
Unless you're in an emergency, hurrying suggests you are not in control of your reality and lack faith in your abilities.
This applies to your speaking style, physical movements (I can struggle with this after a few coffees), and your general approach to life and its challenges. Impatient rushing doesn't just lower your status; it frustrates others.
Slow down, and you transmit confidence.
This calms you
calms others,
And makes life considerably easier.
🔆
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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"content": "Why you don’t need to wait to start monetising your audience. In fact, you must start right away",
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Why you don't need to wait to start monetising your audience. In fact, you must start right away
There's a misconception that you must wait TIME before monetising your audience.
That's some silly sauce.
Monetising your audience doesn't mean you care less for them.
In fact, if you don't monetise early, you're less likely to be around to be able to help anyone.
Why wait before you enjoy the thrill of making your first online dollar?
Or your thousandth?
It's not a zero-sum game.
What if monetising wasn't neglecting your followers?
What if it was expanding your service?
What if it was giving a higher level of care?
Experience shows me that I am incentivised to do the work when I pay for things.
This applies to your community too.
When you only share free stuff, you bring in people who expect free.
Most of them won't follow through anyway.
You want to set the expectation EARLY that you promote and sell.
You believe in your ideas, right?
You are a model for your tribe.
So give value and promote your stuff.
They should do the same with their own audiences.
This doesn't mean churning out low-quality bullshit and screaming about your products.
Do it with care and in the correct context.
We are all a step or two ahead of someone who could use our knowledge and implementation.
So show someone how to implement what you've done.
Make a quick $30 ebook.
Sell now.
Or sell your consulting to inform a great course product.
Or sell your service.
Or sell someone else's quality product.
Start, don't wait.
Monetise early AND care for your tribe.
You can do both.
🔆
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e4c12b0d9463
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"content": "How to reawaken the warrior in you today so you create with power…",
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How to reawaken the warrior in you today so you create with power...
I'll be honest; I've been feeling flat and rather uninspired lately.
I haven't been able to muster the excitement I had during specific periods to write enlivened articles.
But my best writing always appears when I can connect with something emotional - something that aligns with my deeper spirit. This is why emotional writing is often met with resonance.
What I need to continually remind myself is this:
No matter what's going on in your life, you are never closed off from a powerful energy source that erupts within.
Things don't need to be a certain way for you to be in the zone.
It's easy to forget this.
We forget because we fall into believing that life happens to us.
It doesn't, and it never did.
The illusion is so seemingly real and so viscerally immersive that we don't see it another way.
We create everything.
This isn't an understatement.
This is so because of one unchanging and pivotal element upon which our experience hinges.
We perceive.
We are aware.
We can separate ourselves from our thoughts too.
But what does all this mean, Alex?
Perception is one of our greatest gifts because our experience is malleable depending on how we perceive things to be.
We can perceive our lives to be burdensome and, therefore, debilitating.
Or we can perceive our lives to be challenging and, therefore, uplifting.
No matter what. No matter how shit things get.
If you're not bringing in money and your family depends on you, are you going to cower like a scared fool in the corner of your bedroom?
Or are you going to take a breath, see this is an opportunity, get off your ass, draw up a quick plan, and take decisive action?
You can always take the second choice.
In fact, if you understand the power of perception, the second choice is far more straightforward because it can be imbued with energy rooted in dissatisfaction.
It's within this capacity to choose that your warrior self has a chance to suck in oxygen and wake up from his slumber.
Have you been neglecting your inner warrior?
Well, you'll know this to be a fact if you've recently been anaemic, docile and scared.
The dude's asleep.
Summon the little bastard.
Use your power of awareness to say, 'fuck this,' I'm going to create a world worth living in.
I choose strength over weakness.
Say this to yourself right now.
Notice a tingle running up your chest.
A little spark of excitement working its way through your bloodstream.
This is all it takes.
You don't need a list or a step-by-step plan.
You need to decide.
You need to get aggressive.
You're a man; you're not a fucking billygoat.
Stand for this, no more.
You can be aware, a leader, spiritually connected and a relentless maniac all in one breath.
Opportunities don't just come along every few weeks, like hopelessly disorganised buses on unpopulated islands.
They come every second of every day if you want to see them.
Your opportunity to wake up, stand tall and create something remarkable won't come tomorrow.
It's here.
What will you do with it?
🔆
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|
e4c12b0d9463
|
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"content": "If you get jealous seeing others’ success online, read this",
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If you get jealous seeing others' success online, read this
Here's how to see things in a way that empowers you and your online writing.
I often get jealous of people on the Internet who get more likes than me.
I know, it's pathetic, but it also shows I give a crap about spending time on content that's actually worth it.
It's very easy to think that because a post we shared got little engagement, we must suck.
Katelyn's post about her recent trip to Cancun with her mouse-sized doggy got like eight hundred likes. She must be a better writer than you.
But this is where we need to think objectively and realistically.
The truth is, great writing is frequently met with low interest on social media.
And it's understanding why this is that helps me to stop taking things personally and continue to write.
Algorithms are different on different platforms. The exact same posts that have done poorly for me on Twitter have skyrocketed on Medium.
Many popular writers use engagement pods, which significantly boost their visibility. Many others use ads and paid reposts to further add to the illusion they are effortlessly popular creators (they ain't).
You wrote too long and people want short and snappy.
Your engagement dropped because you went on holiday.
How long a post takes you to write often has little bearing on its success.
The topic is not trending right now, or it's even suppressed.
Your hook didn't grab attention. I've reposted posts that got no interest with new headers that then went crazy.
And maybe you're just starting, while the guys that make you jealous have been grinding for years. They deserve it. You need patience.
Remember, you can reuse old posts. You can tweak small things and see things explode. You can stop worrying about individual posts and focus on the collection you're building and the skills you're developing.
Don't forget that the writers you now admire wrote hundreds of things no one cared for.
You can experiment and create more loosely and be okay that experimental stuff rarely takes off, and that's fine because you're growing as a writer, while Mundane Michael posts the same repetitive and safe turd day after day.
You can focus on the beauty of the process instead of putting your well-being in the hands of strangers on a social network.
You can rely less on external indicators of 'success' and instead return to understanding yourself and going on gut instinct.
Play the long game, and don't get caught up in the nightmare of the post-by-post play.
I've been disappointed more times than I can remember, but the trend is always positive.
I'm living the dream as a writer.
Keep creating.
. . .
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
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'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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e4c12b0d9463
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Twelve tiny changes that will transform your writing within 24 hours
Writing is a lifelong craft.
But that doesn't mean even the smallest of adjustments can't make a considerable difference in how your words impact your ideal readers.
These are changes you can make today.
I've learned a lot over the years of writing hundreds of articles. When the long-term commitment to writing is there, you can't help but develop an awareness of what is working and what falls flat.
I've seen how a slight shift in a title or a phrase can help you go from invisible and burned out to cool kid on the block.
Here are some ways:
Avoid jargon.
Replace any technical terms with simpler words so your reader can avoid bottlenecks in flow.
This depends to a degree on who you are writing for, but generally assume readers prefer the simple version.
Inject humanity.
People aren't only looking for information; they're looking for a rising sense of self-belief.
When we share little anecdotes or stories about our struggles and losses, we give the reader the green light. It shows them they can succeed despite discomfort.
Use fewer concepts and more specifics.
Being more specific is the secret key that would transform the writing of millions of tepid and inexperienced writers.
Instead of saying, 'School was difficult,' say, 'My teachers frequently punished me at school because I hated to sit still and found it hard to concentrate.'
Use analogies and metaphors.
One of the things I look forward to most when I write is getting the opportunity to run wild with metaphors.
This allows you to lean into the art and beauty of writing while helping others visualise ideas more memorably, simplifying more abstract ideas.
Instead of saying, 'The immune system is very complex.'
You can use the analogy: 'The immune system is like a highly trained army, with different types of cells serving as soldiers, each specialised in combating different invaders.'
Be more assertive.
Whether you fully believe in what you're saying or not, you can't sound like you're not entirely sure.
You must speak assertively because otherwise, why would anyone make time to read something that might not even be true?
This means making a bigger bet on you. Instead of saying, 'I'm pretty sure the best way to eat cake is with a fork,' say: 'The best way to eat cake is with a fork.'
Widen the senses.
The best writing paints a picture in the reader's mind so they intimately grasp your lessons.
This is why showing details is so important. But we're talking about more than just visual details.
Bring in a range of sensory descriptions, like: 'The steady murmur of conversation created a cosy backdrop in the aromatic café.'
Include a critical moment of change.
In any good story, a moment of realisation leads to the most growth for the main character.
In non-fiction, that character is often you.
Everything else hinges on this moment, moving into the past and future.
You can have this critical moment in any part of your piece (mine is the fifth sentence in this article), but include it.
Vary the lengths of your sentences so they don't get monotonous.
You'll see this when you read your lines back.
It's easy to lose people when they lose a sense of novelty.
Connect your writing to heightened experiences.
Matthew Dicks, in his book Storyworthy, encourages us to write about our more significant and emotional events for more compelling stories and pieces of writing.
This will hook in readers and make your writing unforgettable.
His mnemonic 'First Last Best Worst' helps us find these moments in our lives:
First: Your first experience of something significant (e.g., first day at a new job).
Last: The most recent experience of something meaningful (e.g., last time you saw a friend).
Best: The best experience you had in a particular context (e.g., best vacation).
Worst: The worst experience in a given scenario (e.g., worst mistake at work).
Spend a minute being mindful before you start.
We write better when our minds aren't spinning.
This helps us access insights and information better because we aren't straining.
Meditate or walk for a minute or two before starting so the benefits of a still mind are felt.
Sharpen your hooks and opening lines.
The reason you're reading this is because my headline grabbed you.
If it hadn't, you'd have been on to the next article reading about Jocelyn's crush on her boss at work. Don't lose your reader to the depths of the Internet because you were lazy with the opener.
Grab us by the lapels and give us a big promise
(Or stir our intrigue more than any other writer).
Stop being timid here (you might even give us a deadline - huge bonus points).
Visualise your reader for a moment as you begin.
Who this is may depend on the topic in question.
Now, your writing takes on a more sincere and lucid quality. We lose our edge when we don't understand who we're writing for.
We grasp in the dark. Our writing stutters and suffers.
🔆
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"content": "Ten of the best things we can learn from Strunk and White on writing better non-fiction",
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Ten of the best things we can learn from Strunk and White on writing better non-fiction
I'm sitting at a cafe at the airport, waiting for a flight from Tallinn to London. I feel a sense of soft sadness for leaving after five months here.
But with this spare time comes the opportunity to run through some of my favourite points on writing from a writing classic:
Strunk and White's Elements of Style.
This book, published in 1918, is continually referred to as a classic guide to English grammar and writing style. I took some of it with a grain of salt because some of their advice is a little dated, but most of it is still relevant for current writing.
Though I believe a good story and relevant content trump grammar and style, the latter is still vital and overlooked by many who want to create impact with their words.
I dipped into the book again recently and extracted some of the most critical points to help tighten up our writing.
Here we go:
Omit needless words.
Every sentence must be tightened up for brevity and subsequent clarity.
You're not here to show off how much you can write. You're here to serve the reader by telling us your stories in the simplest way (but not simpler).
Use the active voice.
Passive sentences like, The cake was eaten by the dog, are flimsy and colourless.
Here's the active: The dog ate the cake. Much better.
We're brought into the action and our focus is on the doer, not the action. Turn your passive prose into active sentences for directness.
Use definite, specific, concrete language.
Choose precise and specific words over vague and abstract terms. Instead of:
The event was very good and a lot of people came.
Say:
The charity gala was a huge success, with over 300 guests attending and raising $50,000 for the local animal shelter.
Place emphatic words at the end
The most important and impactful words should come at the end of sentences to leave an impression.
I also end articles with empathic sentences to leave readers encouraged or in a reflective state.
Here's a sentence with an emphatic and powerful ending:
Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion.
Avoid fancy words
Use simple language rather than trying to impress with complex words and vocab.
You just sound grandiose and you stall the flow of the reading.
Put statements in positive form.
Make definite assertions and avoid using negatives where a positive statement would be more precise.
The emphasis is on stating what is, rather than what is not.
For example:
Original (negative form)
He did not remember to bring his book.
She was not unaware of the problem.
The project was not completed on time.
He is not very active.
Revised (positive form)
He forgot to bring his book.
She was aware of the problem.
The project was delayed.
He is inactive.
Be clear.
Long-windedness is often a sign of an amateur writer. Clarity is achieved by saying the same with less. Here's an example:
Original: There are many reasons why the project failed, some of which are related to planning and others which are related to execution.
Revised: Poor planning and execution caused the project to fail.
Don't be tempted to work in more words or ideas to 'be helpful.' It will confuse more than it supports.
Do not explain too much.
Trust your reader's intelligence and avoid over-explaining; let the text speak for itself.
Let them fill in the gaps. They enjoy this sense of figuring things out for themselves.
Eliminate all but the necessary details.
Keep to one tense.
Maintain a consistent tense to ensure clarity and coherence in writing.
Here are examples of this principle:
Original (inconsistent tenses):
She was walking to the shop when she sees a dog that looks lost. She picked it up and takes it home.
He finishes his homework and then he went outside to play. After playing, he eats dinner and watched TV.
Revised (consistent tenses):
She was walking to the shop when she saw a dog that looked lost. She picked it up and took it home.
He finished his homework and then went outside to play. After playing, he ate dinner and watched TV.
Avoid needless repetition
Avoid repeating information unnecessarily to keep your writing tight and effective.
I sometimes repeat points if I know they need to be repeated. But we often repeat by accident, which adds unnecessary fluff to our writing.
Remember, good writing is not about showing us how great a writer you are.
Good writing is about relaying a point in a way that the reader understands and feels.
We want them to get it, so they do something with our message!
🔆
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Do the thing most people refuse to do to get an unfair advantage
Do you do what most people do?
Do you think if you were to do what most do not, you could get ahead?
A guaranteed way to get the edge you're looking for is to do what most people refuse.
You'll be onto something when you can identify those things most people don't do that you would be willing to do to create significant progress in your life.
Because this is ultimately what success is about - separating yourself from the pack.
There's a reason most people experience average results - they do what the average Joe does. They keep an eye on the dude studiously beavering away at the next desk instead of looking right in front at their paper.
So how could you separate yourself?
What could you do for a considerable stretch of time that most people would refuse to do? Obviously, we're talking about doing things ethically.
You can also ask this illuminating question to get you started:
'What do most people find difficult that I find easy?'
This is a great place to start because it may reveal a solid foundation to launch. You may have picked up a skill or set of experiences that already set you apart in something.
It might be, for example, that you're a great writer and you see most people unwilling to write with the consistency you have.
That's a skill you have that most people refuse to do. It's one of the ways I separate myself. I love to write and have a ton of momentum behind me, making it easier and giving me an unfair advantage.
Now you want to double or triple down on that advantage to become untouchable.
For example, you can do this by committing to writing a thousand words every morning, five days a week.
This is something most people certainly don't do, nor do they want to. Most people avoid doing 'hard' things like this.
Consistency, for most, is hard - and many quit. But if you can do that and string a considerable number of writing days like this together, you will have a huge advantage.
Why is this significant?
Because when you know in specific terms how you can create that 'unfair' advantage, you will be far more motivated to do it, even if it gets challenging.
You can see a way through.
And this is power.
—
Take action:
Identify those things you can do that most others find difficult or refuse to do.
How could you match up your strengths and talents to your objectives?
Then commit to go hard at that thing so you separate yourself.
This will motivate the crap out of you.
🔆
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"content": "Here’s how to turn challenges into opportunities so you welcome failure",
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Here's how to turn challenges into opportunities so you welcome failure
I love my life.
I love my life for all the beautiful things.
The things that come easily and effortlessly.
The things that are nourishing.
The things that make me smile.
But I love it more for the things that are hard.
It is in the obstacles; the pain and the struggles where the most significant opportunities lie.
My past troubles and my current challenges show me the sharp edges - the edges that cut openings into new beginnings.
Only by living in the depths of darkness can we enjoy the warmth of cascading light.
For a long time, I hated myself for my shyness, and I punished myself in my anxiety. I put pressure on myself for being a way I didn't like.
I expected myself, life and others to give me more - and when I didn't get it, it felt like a betrayal.
Years of fear and disappointment, and what for?
It wasn't until I let go of seeing things through only one lens that I could glimpse a new pasture.
Immense freedom just by deciding to leave this dreary cave.
I saw that my most intensely fearful days were also my most shining moments. These were gifts I did not open until years later.
These moments tested my character and helped me develop a more intimate understanding of human suffering that would later serve me as a coach, writer and mentor.
My tallest challenges presented me with the greatest opportunities to rise.
Why would something hard be such a good thing?
And can all hard things be opportunities?
Yes.
But how?
Simply because they can. Because we can make that choice. And because 'hard' is just a label we stick on it.
Labels work.
But they can be peeled off and replaced.
Our experience on this Earth is not objective.
It is based on how we think it is.
"Every adversity," as Napoleon Hill said: "Every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit."
Often, a hardship presents itself, and I fail to see a gift wrapped within it. But I catch myself, and I am quicker to accept and love what is.
I recently approached a potential client who is the CEO of a large tech company. I failed to secure an agreement because he said he wanted to see more experience of me working with other leaders of large companies.
I stumbled my way through and eventually succumbed to this logic. I was, indeed, seemingly ill-prepared...
...If seen from one perspective.
But I could have turned that challenge into an opportunity. An opportunity to use my 'lack of experience' to my advantage.
It didn't matter that I had no experience working with certain kinds of leaders. Being more open about this would have brought a refreshing honesty to this interaction on which I hadn't capitalised.
What mattered was that I understood human nature. I knew my own hardships. I know how to bring the best out in myself, and thus in others.
I genuinely wanted him to be happy and successful.
Seeing it this way made me realise that I could have been a powerful and motivating force in his life and work.
Nothing is only one way. A challenge is never a dead-end.
We can be unstoppable when an obstacle in the road serves as a sonic-the-hedgehog-style power-up, not a brick wall.
Think right now of a past regret or a current challenge.
Now write a list of how that very thing was - or is - a significant opportunity for you, and you may be astounded.
This approach can be taken to all things that bother you.
We all have the ingenuity and creativity to find that seed and nurture it into something unimaginable.
All it takes is listening to that inner wisdom that says you can.
🔆
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"content": "If you’re worried about money, read this for quick relief",
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If you're worried about money, read this for quick relief
Who is human who hasn't worried about money?
I have lost sleep and damaged my health over my concerns for money and my need for more.
I know what it feels like to be $40 from red with no money coming in for weeks.
I've gained and lost millions in the last few years. I've seen how fragile money can make me feel.
If you're struggling with this - and I know many of you are - these ideas helped me the most:
First of all, we need to address what's most important right now: how your worrying about money affects you emotionally.
This is important because we need you to be your most creative, at ease and resourceful self.
Am I right?
This is impossible if you're wound up tighter than a tin toy truck. So this is the link we need to see: worrying about money decreases your performance. Got it?
Let's move on...
Let's also acknowledge that you're a human with doubts and worries and concerns.
You have a right to be. But know that we don't always do what's best for us. Overthinking isn't helping you, my friend. So your priority right now isn't to make money. You need to take a walk. Exercise. Speak to a friend. Calm your mind.
Get into a mode of 'non-forcing.' You have time. You really do. This is where insights and solutions appear. They will come.
Next, we need to see how things are never as 'bad' as they seem. We are creating a frightening environment through the power of ugly thoughts.
Look around you now and see if you can let go of all judgement. Just observe. Let your shoulders drop. This is truth. Nothing can faze you in the present moment.
There are no 'money-problems' right here, right now.
This is your sanctuary. You lose valuable time with every minute you spend in shame or sorrow about your perceived 'lack.'
You have pure power when you work with one thing at a time in the present moment.
As you let go of the illusion of the past and open up to a beautifully uncertain future, you feel your inner wisdom rise.
This is the strongest part of you - the part that knows exactly what to do next. Reconnect to this intelligence. Embody this part of you.
This was a huge realisation for me: we are less likely to go out and create money for ourselves when we tie its attainment to our self-worth. Money is a tool.
Nothing more.
You can see it as a reflection of the difference you are making in the world.
But it has nothing to do with you. If you are denied it by someone or lose it, nothing decreases in you. Understanding this allows you to be bold with going out there and asking for it, pressure-free. You have nothing personal to lose.
Reflect on this for a moment.
Now we can start getting more practical. This is where your creative genius comes to the fore.
Get out a notepad and pen, loosen your mind, and start brainstorming all the ways you can think to generate money. Don't self-censor. Just scribble. Let it flow out of you. What ethical services could you provide? Who has your money?
Who would you love to serve this week? With whom can you make an exchange today? What are some creative ways to use what you currently have to make money?
What can you sell today? Who do you need to speak with today? Have fun here.
Judge less. Include the zaniest shit you can think of.
Now, what strikes you as something that has the most leverage in this list - the most potential?
What will produce the most juice for the squeeze? What can you take action on first?
What's the ONE item that - when acted on - could change everything for you quickly?
Now we're on the rocket fuel, baby. It's go time.
Next, we need you to find that strength and commit to taking action on this.
If you need money fast, we need you to live as though you are a hero in your own movie. It's happening. Act with urgency and a delicious ferocity if you need to. Know that you can create anything you want.
Feel it rippling through you. Let that understanding inspire the shit out of you.
But don't forget, you need only take one tiny step at a time, with your head out of worry and your attention hinged to the physics of action.
That's it. One small thing at a time.
See what you can do.
See how easy it really is.
Surprise yourself with who you are.
🔆
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Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
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"content": "Eight unusual habits of the super successful few talk about",
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Eight unusual habits of the super successful few talk about
Here are some less-talked-about traits about successful people, which have informed my own successes:
They spend less time ruminating on setbacks.
Most people make their lives far harder than it needs to be by spending considerable chunks of time in their thoughts.
This won't bring the intended benefits. In fact, we make ourselves feel considerably worse through worry.
This destroys our focus and the performance needed for taking action and making an impact.
Train yourself to recover from setbacks by getting back into motion quickly.
Consume what few consume.
If you're reading what 95% of your colleagues or peers are reading, you're doing the opposite of differentiation.
This applies to experiences too.
Being and thinking more like anyone else makes it harder to compete and stand out.
Read and consume what most others are not. Success isn't about fitting in.
You want to do everything you can to bring value in a way no one else can match.
Developed sexual restraint.
Sex, as fun as it is, and as much as many of us want to deny it - presents a significant drain on our energy, time and attention.
This can be otherwise redirected to the necessary work needed to create and sustain success in other areas.
Yes, have your sexual needs met, but most of us indulge too heavily.
Orgasm leads to a dopamine dip for several hours - even days, which lowers motivation.
Few remember people for their prolific sexual history.
Successful people understand the power of sexual energy and direct most of it to create remarkable things.
Provocative.
Those who go far rarely set out to be liked by everyone.
They prioritise creating polarity in their audience.
This means that many people who come across what they share will dislike what they stand for.
This also means that - over time- they collect a group of highly loyal supporters too.
It's easier to make an impact with those who love you than with those who merely like you.
Work when others are chilling.
Successful people often have a powerful purpose that makes it a no-brainer for them to turn down invites and offers from others to 'stop working so hard and come and join us.'
This needn't mean being anti-social, especially when social engagements offer new forms of social capital opportunities.
So, this takes awareness - a lot of which will point to the need to exert boundaries on meetings that hold you back from making ground in pursuit of your goals.
When they're partying, you're creating momentum.
Problem-centric.
Successful people don't become successful by avoiding problems.
Problem-avoidance and comfort-seeking is for the general masses who are satisfied with a vanilla existence.
You will have problems no matter what you do, so find them, seek ways to solve them, and focus on the BIG problems.
More attuned to criticism than praise.
People who don't get very far are the same people preaching the need to ignore criticism and take note of the praise you receive.
Not the super successful.
They get worried when no one is criticising them. And they take careful notes when they do.
They're more interested in negative reviews than glowing ones because there is always at least a grain of truth in what the haters say.
Unreasonably focused.
The super successful are rarely described as 'normal.'
They often received criticism about being unreasonable, overly obsessed with their work, 'over the top,' and unable to create balance.
If you're doing what appears 'unreasonable' to most and bringing more attention to fewer points of focus than most, you're on the right track.
When most people give up or change track, you're relentlessly showing up repeatedly, even when it gets boring.
Even when it's the last thing you want to do.
This is how you win.
🔆
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Why a productive mind is a mind you leave alone
A lot of people talk about getting burned out, and I get it.
Rest is crucial.
But a lot of people are burning out at the psychological level.
And many don't even do that much with their time and still find a way to get overwhelmed.
They try to control their thoughts, and in doing so interfere with the normal functioning of thoughts that come and go.
They allow their thoughts to spin like a washing machine on a high setting.
Churning.
Grinding.
Overheating.
Only to spit out wet rags at the end of it.
The antidote to an overwhelmed mind is this:
Stay curious.
Stay open.
Be intolerant to stressful thoughts, even if it's tempting.
Don't work. Play.
It's rarely about how much work you're taking on (though don't try to do more than one thing at a time)...
It's about how you use the mind.
If you can use the mind well, you have a tremendous advantage in life and business.
A well-used mind is one that you don't interfere with.
Stay curious.
Refuse to do more than one thing at a time.
Find a way to have fun.
You can't lose.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
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Ten ways to inject creativity into your veins (no one talks about)
Acting on unique solutions to problems will set you apart in an AI world.
Are you ready?
Do you know how to turn on the creativity switch when needed?
Here are some unconventional ideas:
Active listening.
Do you ever get that thing where you're outside, maybe sitting in a park, and you think to yourself:
'Man, I wish I could experience deeper.'
In our Uber Eats mad rush society, it can often feel that we're constantly bouncing on the edge of something, never quite getting full access. Deep listening can get you there.
Often, this requires you to permit yourself to indulge in REALLY hearing what's happening around you.
They talk about the power of sensory deprivation. I say try the other way.
Listen to the surface level.
Then, go further and listen to the spaces between sounds.
Now you're Superman.
No wonder you feel your veins throbbing back to life.
Interdisciplinary fusion
Bring in elements from unrelated disciplines into your project.
You could use ChatGPT to give you some ideas here.
Or you could do some research and read outside your usual go-tos.
For example, blend architecture principles into your business systems or biology into your design.
Travel in time.
You've got this challenge.
This thing you can't quite figure out. Maybe you've also got a concept or an idea for a new project, or you're at a crossroads, and you want a fresh take on how to move further.
Whatever it is, you're not limited to thinking through to the solution as YOU.
You can literally travel in time to another time and see your problem from new perspectives.
This will activate your creative mind like a New York Christmas tree on November 29th.
What would a human one thousand years in future do? Mix it up.
You can also adopt new characters and mindsets. You have this capacity. What would your role model do?
What would Albert Einstein or an elite animal-chasing cave man do?
You are not confined to you as you know yourself to be.
Use constraints.
Many people think it's freedom that unleashes creativity. Not really.
When we have fewer options in a landscape of constraint, that's where creativity really flies.
So, write a story in exactly 50 words. Set yourself 8 minutes to do a task. Paint a picture using only green (dragons love green).
Write down all the uses you can think of for a tin can. Write down fifty ways to simplify your business.
Have a sauna.
Shocking your body with heat puts you in survival mode, resulting in heightened intelligence and decreased brain fog.
At least, that's what I've found.
I'm just super creative for a couple of hours after a solid sauna, especially when combined with an equally soul-shocking cold shower.
Always question assumptions.
Some people seem to effortlessly separate themselves from the herd.
Always coming up with ingenious ideas. Perhaps they're a little provocative and controversial.
But they stand out, and often go far. These are the people who ask 'what if' questions.
They challenge what most people think is correct.
They present alternative viewpoints. This makes for superior writing and intriguing communication, for example.
Take something most people believe is true. Question it. Put forward a fresh, contrarian take that is also right, and you will turn heads.
Be an absolute nutjob.
Sometimes it pays to step outside what is considered normal and even sane.
Apply this kind of approach to the creative process.
For example, I regularly enjoy writing absolute trash for five minutes without stopping. It's like a mind cleanse that simultaneously eases me into coming up with fresh ideas.
What else could you do without being sent to prison?
When they zig, you zag.
People often attach the idea of insanity to those who do what others don't do. This is also what I mean, which is often a very good thing.
Creativity lurks where few tread.
So get weird, and ask yourself, what do most say you should do, then go the other way.
Be a crazy zagger.
Break your routine occasionally.
Your local productivity guru will tell you that consistency, routine, and repeatedly doing the same stuff is critical.
But there are always two sides to any 'truth.'
Routine, great. But you want to throw a spanner in the works intentionally.
Take a week off only to read or survive in the woods.
Go on a hike somewhere new and eye-opening. Read a book you wouldn't normally read.
Reach out to a rando for a drink you'd never otherwise even considered speaking to.
Your creative brain thrives on new synapses sparking into life.
New experiences keep your brain young and stave off dementia too.
Be an unapologetically weird watcher of things.
Observe the tiniest details of your surroundings, paying attention to textures, colours, sounds, and smells.
See this as a kind of indulgence that your entire being needs.
This heightens your awareness, stills your mind and sparks creative ideas.
Collaborate.
My idea of heaven is brooding on a cabin porch in solitude by a lake with a coffee, a notebook and a pen.
But a lot of good has come about through joining forces with other beings called 'humans.'
Get on calls with people often and get that social muscle moving.
Bounce ideas off others, and even pitch a meeting as a brainstorming session.
Two minds can bring exponential change. Is there someone you could co-create a course or a book or an event with?
Creativity multiplied.
—
The humdrum of life can blind us to our creative powers.
But they are there, simmering away, ready to spring into life.
Thinking out of the box, as many of these points encourage you to do, will transform your creativity.
This is a skill and one that will serve you like few others in the coming years.
Happy creating.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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Quit any one of these habits, and your anxiety will instantly decrease
Feeling some anxiety is part of the human experience and helps us navigate dangers and obstacles.
But if it affects us so that we are limited and avoidant, we know certain habits we have allowed to creep in that aren't serving us.
The following habits contribute to unnecessary anxiety:
We reject uncomfortable feelings.
The modern world takes feelings far too seriously.
Many of us have conditioned ourselves to resist uncomfortable, icky feelings.
We feel nervous or bored, and our immediate impulse is to get out of there fast.
This resistance to our own feelings emphasises those feelings, making us more anxious.
The solution?
Be ok with not always feeling great.
Allow processed food to make up more than 20% of your diet.
I'm being generous here.
Anything refined, processed, and far-removed from its natural state promotes an imbalance in our bodies.
When we aren't in harmony, our bodies speak to us.
We're more likely to experience what feels like anxiety if we're out of equilibrium.
Believe people have the power to decrease your 'self-worth.'
A belief is a habit.
When we think certain things repeatedly, we reinforce those things and create our realities.
The idea that other people have the power to affect your self-worth is a belief most humans entertain, and it makes us fearful.
When we challenge this belief, we see it isn't true and realise a deeper sense of personal security.
Think about 'anxiety' often.
Much of society's problem with anxiety stems from having it on our minds in the first place.
Yes, the irony is notable.
When we regularly think about our 'mental health' and how there appears to be something wrong that needs fixing, we inadvertently give weight to anxiety.
We make it part of who we think we are. Instead of frequently thinking about you and 'your anxiety,' focus on creating things and living your life.
Have a poor relationship with Uncertainty.
Not knowing what the future holds has stressed humans for millennia.
The calmest people, however, have nurtured a closer, more loving relationship with Lady Uncertainty.
They accept there is much we will never know and stop resisting this lack of clarity.
Wishing you knew creates anxiety.
Let go in the face of Uncertainty as a habit, and you may be surprised at how things begin to work for you.
🔆
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Combine a clear mind, and an energised soul with powerful writing and brand growth.
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Your writing likely sucks - not because you can't write - but because your ideas are not high-concept
Here's how to transform your content into high-concept content...
It's taken me a long time to realise the significance of this.
When they see their writing isn't connecting, most people believe the solution lies in writing better.
But this isn't quite right.
It has less to do with how you write, and more to do with the idea.
Yes, there are many variables at play in good writing, but a strong idea sits at the top of the hierarchy.
Particularly an idea that is unexpected.
As writers and content creators, we are really in the game of interrupting patterns.
"When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge." ― Tuli Kupferberg
When the world's best screenwriters learn to write movies, they are told to write a premise. But not just any premise.
The premise must be a 'high-premise.'
John Truby discussed this in his book, 'The Anatomy of Story.'
Many things compose a strong premise in a story, including originality, a unique world, conflict, and an intriguing and relatable character.
When someone asks you, 'What was the movie about?'
A good response to this question is the film's premise.
It's about a mysterious spaceship that arrives on Earth, and they need to work with a troubled language specialist from a University to figure out how to communicate with the aliens on the ship, which ends up saving humanity.
(Arrival, 2016)
That's a high-concept premise.
In the same way that any one of your posts and articles need a high-concept premise.
'High concept' means it's unusual, refreshing, thought-provoking or unexpected.
This ensures your writing is attractive, memorable, and intriguing.
This isn't for a smattering of your pieces.
You want all your posts to grab attention with a high concept.
People are not looking for yet more information.
They want to be entertained, first and foremost.
They want to feel something.
This is why fiction storytelling is so enlightening.
Non-fiction isn't any different in this regard.
Fiction serves the same function as any email or blog article.
If you write articles, you are in the business of grabbing attention and intriguing your readers, helping them get lost in a narrative flow, and delivering a payoff at the end.
How can you apply this to your own writing?
In simple terms, high-concept writing is about introducing one, overarching idea or lesson, and packaging it in a three-part story structure.
Hook (grab attention).
Build (increase tension).
Payoff (deliver the climax).
All good posts follow this structure - even a listicle. A good listicle has a strong hook, like a header or introduction that introduces a problem. The list of ideas provides the build. The final thought to wrap it all up is the payoff.
Here are a few things to be aware of as you write high-concept posts, and they are all best expressed as questions:
What is a standard solution, and how can I go against the grain, while still being right?
What's the contrarian or counterintuitive approach?
What are some emotional moments in my life, or someone else's life I can write about?
What is a transformation I went through, especially one in which the stakes were high and the conflict significant?
What is a unique, even extreme perspective I can share about something?
How can I be provocative, while being correct?
What can I write about that serves the reader, thanks mainly to my refreshing honesty and transparency?
But how to make this relevant to your business?
In the context of your personal brand, you need first to be conscious of the overall transformation you bring people through.
A to B.
I help solopreneurs go from being stuck and having little influence, to growing a substantial online brand and newsletter and monetising their knowledge.
That's my brand's transformation.
Within this transformation are many problems I can help people solve, through my content and my stories.
So, I identify a problem I can solve.
Then, I find a high-concept idea that sits at the heart of any one piece of content I share. It could be a tweet or a three-thousand-word essay.
High concept.
The high-concept idea for this article you are reading is the fact that you need an unexpected idea to sit at the heart of everything you write.
Here's a high-concept tweet, for example, I shared yesterday that did well:
One of the best ways to destroy social anxiety is to embrace awkwardness. (hook)
Most people are terrified of looking awkward and weird silences.
Not you. You embrace that awkward life (like a G). (build)
Be awkward.
Then you have nothing to be afraid of. (payoff)
Ironically, you will be chill.
I took a common problem - social anxiety - and took an unexpected and high-concept idea (embrace awkwardness) to the problem.
This is a mindset more than anything else.
First, know that high-concept will make the most significant difference in whether your writing takes off.
You don't want to spend years writing tepid stuff that no one cares to read.
You want to grow your brand and create opportunities for you.
High-concept will get you there.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
|
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When you have doubts about the path you're on...
You ever get that voice in your head that asks:
'Am I doing the right thing with my life?'
Yes?
Well. Me too. A lot.
I had that voice show up today. It seems to return with more intensity in cycles.
These thoughts come faster and thicker as I try to seize a solution.
Should I keep coaching, or should I just drop it all and start a career as a fiction writer?
Or should I focus more on teaching classes and paint on the side?
But how will I make enough money?
Or maybe it's best to move to the woods and live off the land.
On and on.
These thoughts fill my mind, and I can feel the heaviness of it all. It sticks in my throat.
It ripples my chest. I want an answer. I want to stamp the ground.
I hate being here.
Another voice says, take a walk, and so I do.
Walks bring me back into the joy of movement and presence in my body.
This stills my mind, creating room for insights again.
Those ideas that are delivered to me when I'm higher up on the ladder of consciousness.
Ideas that have a vibrance to them, a truth.
And they reveal that the worthy path always raises questions and doubt.
I am human and I want the best for myself and others.
If it was obviously the wrong thing, I would have left a long time ago.
I know I need to stay on track.
I remember that the thoughts that make me feel low are just opinions and aren't to be trusted.
Mean well but don't help.
If you're continually unsure about what to do and what is right for you, know this:
It matters less WHAT you decide to do with your life.
It matters more that you bring attention to a handful of things over time.
It's not always easy, and some experimentation is good.
But, the longer you stick with the thing you're thinking of quitting, and the more attention you bring it...
...the more it flourishes.
—
"If you do not change direction you may end up where you are heading." - Lao Tzu
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
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|
e4c12b0d9463
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If you're struggling to grow online, read this
A lot people are struggling to build an audience.
No one likes your damn posts.
You're toiling over articles that don't get read.
You try something for a while...
And then you get frustrated with the results and quit.
You take it personally.
You compare yourself to other guys who are crushing it, and you're angry.
I lose every day.
But I win several times a week too.
It's why my ugly mug is still here, showing up every day.
My Twitter threads did incredible last year, and I grew 100,000 followers in 9 months, but this year they suck, and my growth is down.
So I'm getting curious, and I'm adapting.
I do more story-driven long-form tweets with images and am also trying new things.
Growing a buzzing audience on the Internet over the years has shown me this:
You will lose if you get tied to any one method, medium, platform or style.
But you know what?
Getting to experiment is why I love doing this.
I have an excuse to be continually creative.
And so we must be flexible.
Experiment, and keep experimenting.
You'll never land on that perfect thing.
Try more visuals. Or try going more text-heavy.
Bring in your story and show us your wounds.
Show us what makes you real and freaking hilarious instead of a dry list for a change.
Try a short video instead of a longer one, and vice versa.
Test things and do more of what works.
Your self-imposed labels are killing you.
You're a communicator first and a 'writer,' 'videographer,' 'tik tok genie' and 'podcaster' last.
Winners in this game are flexible.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
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How to make your readers fall in love with your writing
17 documented ways to use words to grow a movement of people who can't get enough.
One of the most powerful skills you can learn, even in the video age, is to write with impact.
But the true effects of being a skilled writer are not felt until you can truly master your emotional effect on your reader.
For longevity in this craft, you want a loyal audience. You want your readers going to sleep thinking about your words, excited to read more.
You as a writer have the power to grow and lead vast communities - even movements.
Through years of writing in public, here's what I've learned about making your readers fall in love with you:
Tell us the truth.
Most people do not. They sugar-coat for fear of repercussions.
They are doing their audience a disservice by telling half-truths, or watered-down ideas with the intention to impress, over truly helping them.
Serve the people who need it most, by giving it to them straight.
Have a sense of humour.
Even more 'serious' topics can benefit from appropriate humour.
I'm telling you - please - use humour more often. There are far too many writers who are unintentionally boring because they're just. so. serious. Be different. Bring out YOUR quirky sense of humour.
Be funny - at least occasionally.
Show us who you really are.
A huge moment for me in my writing career was when I finally saw my writing not only as a means to convey ideas but as an opportunity to reveal the depth of my character.
You can't paint a picture of yourself without both the lighter AND darker shades. Be willing to be real as F.
You will stand out like the Mona Lisa.
Be more conversational.
Many of us are used to the dry approach of school textbooks or newspaper articles.
This will not help your reader create a bond with you, the author. Be loose and your humanity will flow out and touch another. This holds enormous appeal to those sick and tired of robotic, dry and ultimately inauthentic language.
Write like you're talking to someone for whom you care deeply.
An interesting thing happens when you see your reader in a new light.
They are not faceless morons who you see as merely a statistic.
What would happen to your writing if you no longer saw your reader as an 'average Joe,' but rather someone you wanted the absolute best for?
Inspire us to see what's possible.
Do this with examples, vivid imagery, case studies, and stories of personal transformation.
When you can inspire them to see what they themselves are capable of, they will grow very attached to your writing.
Write about what few agree with you on.
Writing is about provoking the status quo, not maintaining it. Be bold, and go where few agree.
All is subjective. No one thing is ever totally the 'right' thing. Be the writer who is in the minority - most people will respect your stance.
If you aren't attracting a few haters, it's a sign you're too vanilla.
Use your own nerves as a gauge.
James Altucher says he doesn't hit 'publish' on most of his articles unless he feels nervous.
He has built a tremendous following using this 'strategy,' choosing uncomfortable topics that don't always put him in the most graceful light. He writes about his shyness, his failures, and his tougher moments.
He also regularly shares strong opinions - like how college is a waste of money - all of which create a loyal, yet polarised readership.
Write when you are angry.
If you're not angry think of something that makes your blood boil. This is an occasional option, obviously.
I can assure you this will not only give you the energy to write with passion, but it will translate in many cases to a highly enjoyable read.
Tell us about the time you struggled the most.
People are thirsty for stories about another human's hardship.
They see themselves in your shoes, and get emotional about it, especially when your story shines a light to the possibility of victory.
Tell us about what you learned from a highly emotional experience.
If it was emotional for you, it's likely to be profound for the reader when you convey the lessons learned.
Return to those moments, and allow the emotional rush to add flavour to your words.
Reveal something you've been hiding.
You've been hiding it for a reason. It holds a lot of meaning for you.
What secrets are you willing to share that the world needs from you?
Write from your soul.
In other words, write without trying hard. Let your inner wisdom take over when you write freely and calmly.
If it takes ten minutes of free writing absolute nonsense beforehand - great. Your reader needs you to do this.
Show us what has worked.
Theory is one thing, but nothing strikes a chord quite like sharing real-world examples of what has worked for you and your clients, for example.
People want to see ideas put to use. This will inspire them to enact your ideas in their own lives.
Save us time and hardship.
Show us how you went through pain so we don't have to.
Making their lives easier will garner you respect and more readers, so remind us frequently when you've done the hard work, or had the tough experiences. This will carve you into the shape of a leader people look up to.
Give us more than we expect.
Whether a LinkedIn post or a book chapter, every piece you write would benefit massively through being unexpected. When the reader gets more than they expected, they can't help but want more of the same 'service' from you.
This is how to make your reader feel like a VIP.
Write what others refuse to write.
Regularly bring your consciousness to what others are writing about in your niche for example.
What is often missed? This applies to both topics, but also in writing strategies.
HOW could you write, and in what quantities, that few others are doing?
Now get out there and write.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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All success is overcoming the panic one feels in the face of a challenge
Why can't this ever get easier?
I desperately want to get this piece of writing done.
I'm satisfied with the idea and how I will execute it, but I still feel a prickling in my stomach. I am nervous.
When I think about what has to be done and that I haven't done it yet, I feel a rising panic.
I am conflicted because I want to finish this, be productive, and create new content that others will enjoy.
I want to put more out there so that I don't dissolve into oblivion as a writer. And yet, I have an urge to run away, to flick over to the other screen. To lie on the bed.
To avoid being here with this.
Why am I doing something that I love while not wanting to be here at all?
How can the two co-exist?
Can they?
Then I must remind myself that I could never love what I do if the work were easy.
I remember that work worth doing moves me up in the process.
If I never push a little closer to the edge, the work stays flat, and so do I.
It's not a challenge; without it, there is no growth. I remain the same person.
To stay the same person is to deny the reality of how life works, which is ever-changing. Always in flux.
To do the work I love, I must grow with it, even if it's by a hair-width at a time.
So I remember that the anxiety - the mild panic - it's necessary - during some moments, if not through most of the process. It is a sign that I'm doing the right thing...as long as I understand it, and as long as I stay with that fear and treat it like a friend.
When I think about it, all success is overcoming the panic one feels in the face of a challenge. In the face of 'the edge.'
Successful people are always striving to grow, and they know that fear, in all its manifestations, is an inevitable part of that process.
Everything I've done that has been worthwhile involved a moment—fleeting or ongoing—of anxiety, frustration, panic, sadness, boredom, or despair. I felt that I wanted to leave, to be somewhere else 'enjoying' my life.
And it is when I have managed to stay on course through it all, knowing that on the other side of panic is always a form of bliss, that I have been most rewarded.
We are often told that success is about working hard and working smart.
I forget all that and try to keep in mind two things:
1. I must always be moving towards the edge.
2. I must expect and accept anxiety as I approach the edge.
'The edge' is the threshold that delineates new, unexplored ground from the familiar. We grow when we move away from what we know.
The edge is sitting down to write when we're not in the habit of doing it.
The edge is staying on course with a planned project rather than moving to something else that seems more novel or easier.
The edge is improving our writing a tiny bit, even if we're already in the habit of showing up to do it.
The edge is staying committed to specialisation (seemingly vulnerable, but inherently strong) over spreading oneself thin (seemingly strong, but inherently vulnerable).
The edge is saying no to an addiction that is impeding our ability to grow and succeed.
We all have edges we can move towards. Be conscious of these edges in work and life and see them as an invitation—as a necessity even.
When the body and mind sense that we're approaching an edge, it's like tripping an alarm.
We know we must grow to move beyond that impending edge. The mind and body can sense this. We are about to change our very physical makeup. New pathways need to form.
We must stretch ourselves or die.
This alarm sets off a rush of chemicals that show up as anxiety.
The scary emotion you feel when you are face to face with that edge is simply a form of energy that can be seen from any perspective.
It is energy that can consume you through rumination, or it can be powerfully redirected into taking action with freedom, joy, and play.
We do the latter by watching it and sitting with it. When we watch it and feel it in our bodies, we can see that we are separate from it. Therefore, it cannot control us. When we can observe it, fear is no longer a reality; it is just a feeling.
When we can see that these feelings are not our thoughts, it can only carry us forward.
Over the edge.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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Six immature decisions that will (drastically) sabotage your progress
I'm not always mature. Deep down, I'm still a kid.
I'm all for being playful and tapping into your inner child.
But there are some actions I regret in my life and mistakes I wish I had avoided.
All of these came from choices that reflected a lack of life experience and a lack of consciousness.
This is the immature mind at play, and it doesn't always serve us.
Here are some decisions we can make that hold us back and can even create tremendous setbacks that can be avoided:
1. Reacting in Anger Without Thought
Most of the worst decisions or actions people make that almost always end in major regret are rooted to this point.
The immature person has done little to cultivate space between a triggering thought caused by an external event (like being insulted) and their responding behaviour.
In other words, they reacted without a breath and without thought.
You must develop more self-control in this area than any other emotional management aspect.
This kind of thing gets people locked up for a lifetime because they acted in the heat of the moment where their emotions were allowed to swallow them up.
To get better at this, you cultivate the 'gap.'
We all have the power to stay calm and maintain space even when we feel a wash of anger flow over us.
What we do with the anger can be the difference between major subsequent regret or the relief that you stayed strong.
This will also garner respect and trust from those around you.
2. Succumbing to Repeat Sources of Instant Gratification at the Expense of Your Future Health and Happiness
We've all seen the gradual effect of repeatedly making choices that seem inconsequential in the moment but have adverse effects in the long run.
Eating junk food or smoking, for example.
One of the clearest reflections of a controlled mind and a mature person is their ability to turn down those things that harm them in the long run, even if the short-term pleasure is evident.
Mature people apply wisdom to their actions, combined with exercising holding a desirable vision for the future in mind.
Sure, enjoying a vice or a pleasure here and there is fine... as long as this doesn't take control in return.
But those who are more likely to see incredible results in their lives are those biased to the positive compounding effect of making good choices that aren't always felt immediately but that will manifest in the longer run.
The mature mind takes the needed steps today to negate a bleak future.
3. Quitting Something Worthwhile Because You Didn't See Results Quick Enough
You can't fail if you don't quit. There is a time to change tracks, and there is a time to pivot.
Especially if you're clearly in the wrong vehicle, moving in a direction that won't work for you. But too often, the issue lies on the other end of this persistence spectrum.
We quit when we needed to stay strong and stay on track. We get bored too quick, don't see results quickly enough, see a shiny new opportunity coming over the horizon, and bail.
The immature character uses struggle as an indicator of what to avoid.
The mature mind expects struggle and exercises a resilience that ensures storms are weathered.
The mature mind is made for battle and - because it anticipates that life will have it's low moments - resists less and experiences more power through the process.
The mature decision is to stay put, and to listen to your instinct that things will be alright in the end.
You'll always know whether you made the right choice or not. You'll feel it in your soul.
4. Allowing Fear and Pride to Stop You from Having the Important Conversations.
Tim Ferris said:
'A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.'
This is highlighted and a gateway to many advantages in life because they're so hard to do.
Few people enjoy confrontation, and most actively seek to avoid it. The pain of such a thing doesn't necessarily mean that the conversation needs circumventing.
Instead, it's usually an indication that parties need to be open about difficult truths.
When vulnerability like this is required, people often become fearful. Their pride or egos can get in the way because no one wants to look bad, receive an angry glance, or get rejected.
So we avoid it. It's not easy, but the mature move would be to enter the ring and face up to what you need to do and say, even if your heart is pounding.
Have the tough conversations.
That's maturity. This will get you far.
5. Making Win-Lose Agreements
Winners with mature mindsets are always looking for ways to strike agreements with people in which both parties stand to gain.
Your purpose in life must be to rise up and lift others up with you.
An example is when you shake hands on a house sale while deliberately withholding information about the rotting floorboards that would take a massive chunk of your selling price.
Stepping on others to pursue your goals comes from insecurity and lack.
It's not empowering, and it will chew away at you over time.
The immature part of you wants to take advantage of people so you can take shortcuts and avoid the hard decisions.
But the hardest decision of all is the one that leads to your guilt and your creation of new enemies.
6. Making Lose-Win Agreements
The flip side to win-lose agreements, in which the other party in a deal loses while you 'win,' is a contract in which you get the wrong end of the stick.
Perhaps you were taken advantage of without realising it, or you were pushed into a deal you didn't want to make but did it anyway because you lacked the assertive strength to say no.
Why is a lose-win agreement immature on your part?
Let's refer back to the example above, where a house is being sold to someone unaware of the property's structural problems.
The buyer is as immature as the seller in this instance. They didn't do their due diligence, follow their gut, and ask the tough questions.
The mature decision would be to ensure you're working with the right people and avoiding making decisions that put you and your family at a disadvantage.
This can be negligent at best but also reckless and potentially tragic at worst.
Be vigilant and mature enough to elevate yourself out of reactive emotional temptations.
Take your time in making important decisions. If a deal smells off, exercise the power of instinct and turn away.
Make only decisions that benefit all parties involved.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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These four things will 10x your discipline in a week
(This will change your life)
Do you find it hard to be disciplined? I did for years and still do. Here's what refuels me when discipline is the last thing on my mind:
1. Make the alternative painful.
In Roman times, legionnaires developed chiselled, muscular bodies, not because Chad Thundercock on Twitter told them to get ripped because 'girls and stuff,' but because they knew they HAD to.
It was either face weakness and death in battle or humiliating punishment from their superiors.
You will be disciplined when you drastically minimise your options like this. It's do or bust.
How to make the alternative painful in the modern age?
Pay an accountability partner money if you fail.
Make your progress public, so you avoid falling short when everyone's watching.
Burn your ships - meaning you have no plan B or escape plan. You either succeed or face the pain of defeat.
2. Forget 'discipline.'
A lot of discipline is hard because the concept is deathly tedious.
Few want to be 'disciplined' because the idea inherently suggests doing what you don't want to do.
But people want to do what they want to do. So mould your world so that the hard stuff - the stuff worth doing - becomes enjoyable.
This means understanding that pain is fun if it's leading to the right things - to magnificence. It really is. Embrace that sucky suck. Feel the beautiful warmth of your hands bleeding.
Be screwed in the head. Turn heads because you're the only asshole out here running outside with your shirt off when it's raining.
Now, what was it Mike Tyson once said? Ah yes: "my definition of discipline is doing what you hate to do, but do it like you love it."
3. Get aggressive.
Discipline is incredibly unappetising to people who tread aimlessly on this Earth.
This is why big softies want nothing to do with discipline and end up becoming softer.
Leave that to them.
You're different because you frequently reach into your aggression reserves like a lost Prince fighting for something real.
What's real for you?
What's worth fighting for?
Who's worth fighting for?
That's what aggression is made for. Use it to charge forward like you have a death wish.
In this state, with this vision, 'discipline' won't even be something that requires any force.
4. Think less and tap into the abyss.
This is hard for you overthinking types (i.e. 97% of you muhfuggers).
But all the answers lie beneath all your shoulds, coulds, maybes, and perhaps's.
Your thoughts know shit.
Your innate Universal intelligence knows everything.
It's the stuff that points you to truth when you feel it in your gut like a ping in a pinball machine. We're all fortunate enough to be connected to inner knowing, so stop blocking yourself off from that junk by thinking about everything.
You know it's a circus up there if you start grinding. If you feel nervous, you're overthinking it.
If you're doubtful about your capabilities, you're overthinking it.
If you feel in any way less than capable, invigorated, and any less than a human exploring his zone of genius, you're overthinking it.
You must develop the habit of using thoughts as a tool as needed but dropping your tightness around them as needed too.
That's when true creativity opens up.
When you're plugged into this kind of free-flowing intelligence, you won't need discipline.
You'll just do it when it needs to be done.
You'll be who you were meant to be all along.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Do these six things if anger controls your life
I used to be a hothead, which rendered me pretty useless in those moments.
My dad used to call it 'throwing a wobbler.'
I'd throw stuff across the room if I was really pissed off.
I could grit my teeth and yell hurtful things before slamming the door to my bedroom.
That was in my younger days; my anger rarely flares up today.
But I know how painful it can be to have life disrupted by anger.
It sits dormant, often, and then reveals itself when triggered, perhaps after months of bottling it up.
Here are some ways to ensure anger doesn't take control and ruin your life, so you can enjoy a calmer, more effective existence as a man:
1) See how anger is showing you what you value.
Like any form of passionate emotion, anger can show us some interesting things about ourselves.
We can often shame ourselves into thinking that feeling angry or fearful means there's something wrong with us. And we fail to look further into understanding it.
But understanding is healing. It diminishes anger.
When we get angry and then ask why, we get answers. It shows you what you value highly.
Got angry about being disrespected? You value respect, and that's healthy.
So give yourself credit.
When you can understand more about what you value, which is good when you are angry, compassion and logic begin to diminish the red cloud of rage.
Maybe you can even use your past rages to point you towards your passions worth pursuing.
2) Ask how you can use this?
When you get angry, try to calm down as soon as you can. Once you have, you can ask: 'What is this anger giving me?' OR 'How can I use this anger?'
Anger gives you a couple of things:
It shows you what you value and what may need to change in your life.
Anger is there to give you an assertive energy, which is the energy of getting shit done.
What can you get from your anger that will change your life for the better?
Maybe it's time to make a significant habit change.
Or maybe this is a time to go for long daily walks.
There is always positive potential to unearth within the dark pits of anger.
3) Use attention to melt stuck anger.
We all have the power to conjure up the emotional associations with thoughts at will.
When we ask the right questions, we can think of something that brings back feelings of resistance, anger, or sadness.
In the case of your anger, ask yourself: 'What's stopping me from being completely happy with myself?'
Or: 'What anger do I still hold on to?'
Ask the question, and then observe your physical sensations.
You may find feelings of resistance, blocks or pressure in the body. For example, you might feel some anger show up in the chest or belly.
Observe these sensations.
Watch as they literally melt away before you. Attention always cancels out stuck emotion.
It's like the body wants you to acknowledge it, and when you do, it has no longer any reason to 'show you' these stuck emotions.
You can literally heal yourself of pent-up anger through sessions like these, and the impact is as instant as it seems.
Repeatedly slap yourself.
Walk to a mirror and say 'I've been a big old idiot' three times before slapping yourself hard across the face ten times.
This is a joke.
Don't do this. You need to find your compassionate self.
4) Meditate like a badass monk with a lust for presence.
Meditation is similar to point three, but in this case, we're practising using the muscle of awareness.
Most of us go through our days wrapped in thoughts, most of them highly self-critical.
This is like putting a tiger in a cage for years and repeatedly prodding it.
This does not make for a happy kitty.
You are the same.
Use meditation to cool your mind and find insights and compassionate thoughts. They are there when we allow the mind to still.
Don't be a plonker repeatedly saying affirmations. Ok, you can - there's no harm in it.
But the real gold is awareness.
Awareness is like bringing a healing ointment to emotional imbalance.
Your anger will fade when you meditate with some consistency.
5) Don't numb yourself with bullshit you know isn't good for you.
Millions of men have run to drink, drugs, TV, or other forms of stimulation to escape the pain of emotions they don't like.
Don't fall into this trap.
Now is the time to feel more fully, not to cover it up like a tarp over a pile of dung.
Instead, simplify and connect with yourself and nature.
Go for regular walks.
Eat cleaner, non-processed food.
Socialise.
Get back into creative hobbies.
Do MORE to be more conscious.
Alcohol, for example, is directly the opposite. It lowers your consciousness, making you even MORE susceptible to bouts of anger and emotional chaos.
Reconnect.
6) Journal on the beliefs that hold you in anger.
Humans harbour many beliefs about the world and who we think we are.
Most of these beliefs are lies and make us feel bad.
We need to see things for what they really are. When we don't, we risk falling into a lack of emotional control, just like I did when I was a little boy.
You're not a little boy, are you?
So we must discharge the emotion from false beliefs.
You can get out a pen and paper or do this by reflection alone.
Ask yourself, 'What's the thought that comes up about who I am when I get angry?'
Write it down. We often get angry because some belief about ourselves has been activated.
It could be, for example, that you get triggered when someone criticises you.
And the thought is something like 'I'm not a very charismatic person.' (example).
By thinking this, you get angry.
So, we need to question the validity of such a belief:
Is it true?
Who am I with the thought? How do I feel?
Who am I without the thought?
Imagine you could literally delete that thought from your brain - what would your life look like, and how would you feel? Very likely, you wouldn't get angry or it would be significantly diminished.
Then you need to find as many pieces of real evidence to support the opposite of that belief, i.e.:
'I AM a very charismatic person.'
When the evidence is there, the belief loses hold on you.
And when a belief means LESS to you, the anger attached to it will whither and die.
I hope that helps.
🔆
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The art of 'not shoulding' (and what this does to your performance)
When was the last time you 'shoulded?'
And don't be embarrassed. We all 'should.'
It's just that some of us do it more than most, and it is likely hurting you.
I should go to the gym.
I should socialise more because I've been sitting indoors on my butt, watching movies back to back for months.
I should cook for myself more and stop ordering processed Uber crap.
Why do we do this?
Because it's good for us, right?
We do it out of a sense of self-care and genuine concern for self-improvement and massive success!
It's how we attempt to exert some control over our chaotic lives.
Right?
But entertaining thoughts of how we should be doing things differently rarely feels good.
It's a form of self-beratement that is felt as frustration, stress and even despair.
It's establishing where you think you need to be without actually being there yet - while judging yourself for not being there yet.
It's a black thought.
A self-generated heaviness surrounds the idea that you shouldn't be where you are right now.
But shouldn't I 'should' so that I do life better?
Don't I need to worry and judge and self-criticise so that I push myself into doing things I need to do?
Won't my life improve that way?
Well, no.
You're more likely to make yourself more stressed and less effective this way.
How can life improve if we're stewing in stress?
When we apply a should to a potential task, we're framing it as a difficult one we don't want to do. We reinforce our desire to avoid the said activity.
All this pressure to do stuff ironically detaches us from doing things with enthusiasm.
So, if thinking we 'should' do things makes us less effective, even lazier, what do we do?
We simply need to stop 'shoulding.'
The best way to 'not should' is to do something, anything, instead.
Do what you identified as necessary, or do something else entirely for now, if you can't get to it.
Just don't get lost in your torrent of shoulding thoughts.
Action is the polar opposite of stewing on what we should do.
Action gets us out of our heads.
When we're out of our heads, we're more intelligent because intelligence always arises out of movement, a lack of pressure, and a stiller mind.
Sometimes thoughts will come up that remind us of what's important to do.
Like going to the gym. That thought was effortless. But cycling through how you should go to the gym is an unnecessary addendum to this thought. Let go.
Put the gym in your calendar alerts and get back to doing what you were doing.
Creating.
The art of 'not shoulding' is about not overthinking and not stewing.
It's about enjoying each moment by moment regardless of what else is going on out there.
It's about having faith that everything is - and will be - OK.
That's how to set yourself apart from the stewing masses.
What would your life be like if it were devoid of shoulds and unnecessary self-inflicted pressure?
Your self-compassion would become more of a thing.
When we feel better about ourselves, guess what happens?
We do more; we do the things that are right for us, and we do it better.
🔆
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The secret to winning as a creator? Do what matters with speed and in volume
You're frustrated.
You're not getting enough done.
You're not getting anything done.
You're running on a stupid hamster wheel, and you want out.
You're getting desperate, and you're panicking.
Most people would tell you to 'slow down.'
'Slow down there tiger.'
I'm saying do the opposite. Speed up.
Speed up.
Ok, ok. Slow down when it comes to important life decisions.
And slow down for a moment to catch your breath, and take in what I have to tell you...
Our lives can drastically change when we act on these three things:
Work that matters to you
Working fast
Creating voluminous amounts of that work
First of all, decide what work matters to you. There are many options.
This decision has been troublesome for me and many I speak to, because of all the other cool stuff there is out there to distract me.
Do what you're good at. Do what has the potential to thrill you, challenge you, and ideally do what will earn you a living, even if you can't believe it can happen yet.
But I've decided. It's writing. I love to write. I love to move people with words.
Writing feeds into my articles, audio and videos, paid writing, books and drawings.
It needs continual reminding. But I must write. I have a commitment to it for the next few years at least.
The next two are huge.
Most of us don't create with force.
That is what is needed.
Most of us move like conscientious, overthinking, thick, muddy landslides. Slow and meandering.
That's not what you need.
We need to work fast. Make deadlines you can feel as searing hot. Create with speed and a sense of snarling, maniacal urgency.
Wake up and move.
Don't stop. Move.
Speed on its own is hard because we fear mistakes. And you will make mistakes.
You will trip, and skip and bounce and slide.
But you won't be so constricted in your attack if you're also committed to the final leg of the trio:
Volume.
Create a shit ton of stuff, as often as you can. Consistency is a given when we're talking about quantity here.
Think about those you admire. Look at their paper trail. Look at the piles of work in their path. Volume and hungry speed characterise many greats who seemed to be on their own locomotive track.
You need to work on what matters the most. You want to be doing what challenges, enchants, and exhilarates you.
Enchantment will follow momentum.
Work on what matters, with the intention of creating a lot. Be ridiculous here.
Be known as the creative maniac of your town.
Impress not others, but yourself, with your power and creative prowess.
If you don't know what you want to be when you grow up (I still don't), just decide on this:
Be a creative maniac.
It matters more that you are creating with force over doing precisely the 'right' thing.
There is no 'right' - you just need to choose for now.
Volume - crucially - allows me to make mistakes.
But volume on its own holds me back. Because I'm worried about the sheer scale of such an undertaking. Producing in quantity is a LOT of work.
It's a lot. 'That's for mad geniuses like Picasso, Van Gogh, Kahlo and King.'
But if we throw SPEED into the cacophony, suddenly volume seems possible. It doesn't look like work, and more like throwing heaps of spaghetti on a wall.
Creating plenty, with frequency, now becomes real.
Speed makes volume possible, and volume makes speed with less fear possible.
So do what matters, every day, with speed and in volume.
What is that work for you - that practice?
Think: what an unfair advantage you will have.
Be a force. Do things with speed and in volume.
Be unstoppable because you made the decision to be: unstoppable.
Then take a break, obviously, and soak up what you've done.
Use strategic breaks to more powerfully serve your ability to create in volume.
Here are the benefits if they aren't already clear to you:
You work more creatively because you are less attached to result. You just do, in flow.
More output. You have more to edit and refine. More gets finished. You create more. Your productivity is drastically increased.
Your confidence will explode.
It is easier to work when you don't feel like it. You have less fear anyway.
More time for other projects or rest (if you manage your time well).
Seeing results gives you more momentum, and motivates you to create even more.
Take that advantage.
🔆
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How to survive the biggest creative job decline of all time
Succeed when creative work is being made and sold for cheap.
Are designers, illustrators and visual artists turning into commodities?
I was recently asked by a reader to discuss the health of the graphic design and creative industries.
His concerns centre around what appear to be the 'commoditisation' of these industries and the people working in them, with the following example:
On an online exchange, you can buy a decent quality illustration for $5 for commercial use.
This means that an illustrator somewhere has theoretically lost out on a commission with a client worth hundreds to thousands of dollars.
"Commoditisation is the enemy of meaning. In ages dominated by the forces of commoditisation, individuals pay the price with devalued lives. By contrast, unique skills requiring mastery and expertise, like the skills of a brain surgeon, are safe from the threat of commoditisation." ~ Tom Hayes
I define commodity here as a product with little value beyond the intrinsic value of what has been produced.
New creative talent is joining the market every day. Many are using cheap or free design tools having been self-trained.
Many are willing to work for free, for very low fees, or they are adding more commodities like new images, web design templates, and photographs, which can be bought for comparatively low prices.
A lot of creative work can be commoditised like this.
With the introduction of robotic typists that write articles based on trending topics, this is creeping into writing too.
As more options for cheaper creative products and people pour into the market, the jobs for those that previously would have worked for higher fees are being eroded.
To many, it would appear that we're seeing a silent and subtle job cull on a massive scale.
As Blair Ennis describes in his excellent manifesto: Win Without Pitching, what is happening is a widening of the gulf between "commoditised tacticians who bid their services against each other online, and the expert practitioners who command significant fees for leading their clients to novel solutions to meaningful business challenges."
This means that there are opportunities for creative professionals who accept that the creative industry is changing.
In adapting to an unprecedented environment, I believe we can benefit from unprecedented rewards.
But we can't fall into the gap that divides what Ennis calls 'commoditised tacticians' and 'expert practitioners'.
This is the land of the mediocre. This is where you are in the process of being turned into a commodity. This is the gladiatorial ring, where you have to compete; where clients can choose someone else over you because they can.
This is where you are forced to lower your price to attract work from anyone, rather than to add value and become indispensable to a few.
It's ok to be here when you're starting out and inexperienced, but the trouble arises when you hang around here because you are not improving and you are oblivious to what you need to do to change.
So how does one adapt and win in this new climate?
As Ennis describes it, on one end of the spectrum, you have those that command significant fees through their deep expertise.
This is the zone in which the creative individual or company is on a path towards mastering a distinct and specialised creative service package.
You can read more about specialisation in various of my other articles.
Those that will suffer from working with fewer of the best clients once they are experienced, are those that view and practice their work at merely the artistic level.
Read that again.
This means that you view your job as solely a maker of art, whether it's a photograph, a website or an illustration.
But those with the ability to stand out, attract the best clients and command the highest fees, need to go a little further.
They need to see creative work with clients as a process.
They need to view themselves as not only the artist but the authority on leading the client through the process of a reaching a meaningful creative solution.
"Whatever creativity is, it is in part a solution to a problem." ~ Brian W. Aldiss
So, for example, the top-end illustrators might be those who understand that a software company relies on clear and colourful animated 'explainer' videos to help their customers make more sense of their product.
They understand the value of their unique illustration style and know how to speak it within the context of the client's need.
In the hypothetical words of the illustrator to the client:
"Many of my other software clients have found their brand engagement with customers increase by using animated videos [hands over the data or a positive testimonial]. Would you like to talk about how we might make this work for you?"
This extends beyond the creative projects themselves, and into actually finding those clients who are a good fit for your services.
You are getting into a conversation about helping your potential client well before the project starts.
Conversation is your marketing, in addition to sharing your work and becoming known.
"Being an expert is more than understanding how a system is supposed to work. Expertise is gained by investigating why a system doesn't work." ~ Brian Redman
No longer do we need to sell ourselves as creative commodities.
We need to talk to the kinds of people who will benefit from our willingness to improve their lives with our art, and be paid well for it.
To command the highest fees you need to change your approach with clients from that of an order-taking 'get paid by the hour' commodity, to something more closely resembling a consultant, who happens to provide a honed, artistic element to the process too.
You need to move from 'artistry' (commodity) to 'expert practitioner' (process).
You as an expert practitioner must now view your craft as not only the making of art but the ability to inspire in others a shared belief in the value of your art.
Are there opportunities in commodity work?
This is not to say that the commoditisation of creative work is not itself bringing many positives, something often missed in the debate.
Firstly, there are opportunities now for smaller companies, like startups and individuals, to use cheaper creative work to support their businesses in the early stages, when they may not have otherwise been able to.
Meaningful art and design that makes an impact on its users is growing and vital, and relies on 'expert practitioners' who understand process to carry it out well with their clients.
But at the other end, commodity products and cheaper labour allow others to get a vital start on projects and businesses that can eventually develop into ones that do rely on more focused design expertise.
Secondly, creative commodities allow us to build additional income streams that might have been previously non-existent.
This is now available to businesses small and large, from the self-taught teen working in his bedroom on website templates, to larger creative organisations who can partake in the same market.
Businesses will not want to overlook this, because these income streams can become major sources of scalable financial clout, with less reliance on ongoing client work that doesn't scale well.
Not only that, but by making and selling duplicatable creative products, this allows creatives to leverage their time better to focus on higher-end creative consulting projects, to spend more time making products, or to enjoy the freedom that comes with extra income.
Whether you want to position yourself as a skilled service provider, or you want to focus on making lower-cost creative products at scale, or both, you can do very well in this rapidly changing industry.
As creative people, we are known for our ability to innovate.
There is no better time than now to use our adaptive skills to take a bet on our strengths.
Author's note: I wrote this a couple of years ago, but reshared because the message is still relevant today.
—
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Eight traits shared by those who avoid growing bitter as they get older
I see many people whose bitterness correlates directly to how many years they've been alive.
If you plotted it on a map, it would be an upward-leaning line.
I sometimes catch myself getting tighter and angrier, and I see bitterness in many people I know.
I don't want to be that guy, and neither do you. You lose the most in the end, and your health will suffer.
Here are some traits I've observed in those who buck this trend:
1. Refuse to blame.
Bitterness is a victim-mentality trait.
You can't see yourself at the mercy of the people and the world around you and be happy and optimistic simultaneously.
It takes a concerted effort to take the ownership route and never blame your circumstances for your pains. Everything you have in your life results from a sequence of choices YOU made.
It's on you, butthead, so quit moaning.
You'll be so much happier when you quit blame like you quit nicotine.
2. See how we're all connected.
The most bitter people I know all believe they're different to others and, because of this, feel isolated.
They'll never be understood because they're a special 'unique' case. My god - what a miserable way to live.
You must find a way to see yourself in everyone, regardless of their politics, preferences or hair colour. Human suffering is primarily rooted to the idea that you are cut off from others.
Depression is a symptom of the feeling of disconnection.
And it's in your head.
See the spiritual connection we have to everything, and you'll get younger as you age.
3. Maintain light-heartedness.
A cheeky little secret lies partly obscured in your 'life-hacks' toolbox. It's called being light-hearted.
Life gets more complicated if we push back against it.
No matter what flies at you, you need to develop the skill of being loose and light with it ALL.
No exceptions. This doesn't necessarily mean being some comedian always coming out with the latest dad jokes.
It means acceptance if it can't be changed.
It means smiling in the face of adversity. It means lifting those around you, even if shit gets real and tough.
4. Intolerant of crappy thoughts.
People who remain happy and healthy through life weren't necessarily blessed with comfortable surroundings and few problems in their life.
This is a pipe-dream.
We all have problems, no matter how 'privileged' we appear to be on the outside.
What's important is your relationship with your thoughts. Happy people understand the crippling power of our thoughts. They refuse to believe the ugly ones.
They don't bother with positive affirmations.
They simply let thoughts come. And then they let those suckers go.
That's positivity. That's happiness.
5. Remain curious.
Imagine hitting 40 and seeing your 'Curiosity-Meter' on empty.
Good luck with that. Forty years to go, and you've lost your soul.
Humans with a sparkle in their eyes maintain a curiosity for life. This isn't limited to their 'speciality.'
Yawn. No.
They keep their childlike curiosity channels open and flowing for all things. They read widely. They ask questions. They watch documentaries. They talk to their perceived enemies.
They breathe when triggered instead of immediately leaving or unfollowing like a bitch.
They give a shit about what's going on around them and what's causing things to happen the way they do.
Curiosity keeps your mind young and active. Thinking you know it all and being done with learning is a slow death.
6. Minimise judging.
Some people will tell you to stop judging entirely. Uh, no. Judgement is an essential aspect of our humanity and our ability to survive.
If I don't judge, I can't know something is a threat, which is a valuable tool in our need to discern.
But here's where it begins to get soul-destroying: we get overly judgemental of things we need to let lie. If it isn't a threat, and you can't do anything about it, let go of your stewing judgements because it will only turn you bitter.
Judge and either do something about it or let it go quickly.
7. See the lesson in all hardship.
The most wound-up people I know accumulate hardships and setbacks in their lives - like everyone else - but they do one thing that ensures they develop increasing stress. They fail to see the lesson.
They see the setback as further confirmation of a brutal existence. Good luck with that, asshat.
You take on the immovable and concrete-like persona of someone who resists hardship, and this will destroy you. You must be fluid. To be like water means finding the value in challenge.
Ask: how can I use this? Instant life upgrade.
8. Mastered Ego.
The big problem I see in many who get older is a build-up of resentment around the 'injustices' done to them by others.
They have an unhealthy relationship with 'ego.'
Ego is the idea we hold in our minds of who we think we are.
It's literally a picture we can hone over years using memories, thoughts, and experiences. But the astute among us get that it's just a picture.
It's not a real thing.
We lose if we're out here trying to protect a made-up concept to the point it affects our confidence and joy in life.
The Ego is essential. It can fire us up and drive us to want to create magnificent things. It reminds us to take care of ourselves and look good.
But we need to use it carefully. If we take our Ego too seriously and develop the belief that we have a 'self' that needs protecting, we will struggle.
We literally create our own suffering because we make everything about ourselves.
Those who travel light, enjoy their lives and rarely take things personally have mastered their egos.
They know that it is just a tool. It's not a physical thing.
When you can be loose with Ego, you will go far.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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Eight things you can do to be in the top 2% of people in a chaotic world
I don't know if you've noticed, but the world is not predictable.
There is no one place you can reliably settle and know with confidence that shit won't go south at any point.
This is especially the case in the now undeniably collapsing 'West.'
This is not for everyone, but if you want long term security, freedom, the option to live how you want, and your sanity intact, you need to read this:
Think mobile.
Start getting comfortable with living more than ten miles from mummy and daddy.
The planet is pretty spacious, and there are these cool things called planes and trains and stuff.
You need to start wrapping your head around leaving, being footloose, flexible, and developing self-reliance. Shit can break out anywhere at any time. Why are you still suckling on mummy's titty?
Live light.
We live in an age that rewards those who don't own a ton of shit they have to keep lugging around.
Think like Marie Kondo and drop anything that doesn't spark joy. But more importantly, let go of unnecessary belongings so you can scram sharpish should you need to get out of dodge.
You need to think like a soldier.
If you do need heavy ass stuff, at least know how to arrange for storage and lean towards leasing as much as you can.
Everything I own fills two large bags.
Maintain a healthy mind.
Nowhere is safe if you can't manage your mind and have mental health problems at every turn.
This is solvable and learnable. It starts with physical fitness and sleep.
Next, you need to master letting go of unhelpful thoughts, so you can power forward in bold action.
Follow me for more on exactly how to do this.
Create remote income.
If you're to live flexibly and not be tied to any one place, you need location-independent income streams.
I've lived in several countries, maintained a remote income for the last 12 years, and loved every aspect of this freedom.
This is becoming more possible with remote-working for companies, but even that is too rigid.
To rely on a single boss, who could drop you at any moment, over having multiple clients or customers is a far higher risk.
Learn a skill you can do anywhere, like copywriting, sales, web design, life coaching, consulting, teaching workshops, editing, research etc.
Over time, you want to develop multiple streams for added security.
Live in multiple locations.
Getting geographically 'settled' is a thing of the past if you're a sane person in this age.
We're going through a paradigm shift in which being long-term bound to any one place puts you in a vulnerable position.
I am a British national currently based with a ten-year residency in Poland with a view to setting up multiple residencies in places like Dubai, Asia and Armenia in the coming years.
Look at the war in Ukraine and the slow collapse of the UK.
No one place is safe.
Build an audience.
One of the best assets you can build in this age is an online following, ideally in the form of newsletter subscribers (an asset you fully own).
These people will:
become clients,
buy your products,
provide reviews and feedback,
give you a sofa to sleep on in a foreign land,
mentor you,
collaborate on joint ventures,
and show up to your random barbecue in a strange city.
Why are you not working on this?
Disconnect from authority bodies.
True self-reliance is to detach as well as you can from any form of state interference or support.
Taking support loans isn't wise, it's entrapment.
Getting state married these days is plain reckless.
Even having your children schooled in disgracefully misguided schools is foolish.
Be conscious of the government's hold on you and do everything to slide free of its anaemic grasp.
Become physically elite.
If you're to remain energetically footloose and mentally astute for as long as possible, you need to upgrade to 'unreasonable' health habits.
It's time to free yourself from the average, weak masses and transcend. Push through the resistance barrier that conformity is forcing on you.
You need to overcompensate in a world gone limp, to rise above groupthink, and truly flourish.
It's time you stepped up.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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You can make money living anywhere if you do what I did
I've spent the majority of the last 14 years living overseas.
I've spent many months in Tokyo, Vietnam, Georgia, Bangkok and now Krakow, Poland.
I'll often point to a place on a map, pack my bags, and go there alone.
I could never stay in one place for too long.
There are just too many cool places to experience.
I'm not talking about holidays or vacations.
I don't even like holidays that much because I love my work too much.
I'm talking about really living somewhere, longer term.
My work allows me to do this.
Why?
Because my priority from day one was always this:
• Stay footloose.
• Don't be tied to any one employer.
• Have several clients.
• Build a loyal tribe of Internet people.
• Do work I can do anywhere with a wi-fi connection.
It wasn't talent, luck, connections, or skill that allowed me to do this.
It was because I prioritised.
It's all possible, and I continue to make it work because I prioritise location independence.
If I can make it work, so can you.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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11 quotes from famous authors that will make you a better writer
For years, I've shared my ideas on how to improve as a writer.
But so many great authors and writers have come before who can prompt fresh insights and say it better than I could. Even in a single line.
Let's look at the ideas of some writers who impacted the world with their words.
What can they teach us about improving the craft?
"The scariest moment is always just before you start." - Stephen King
You and I know this intimately.
It's icky to stare at a blank page, knowing you said you'd write, and now you're here, you want to be elsewhere. Maybe I can get a little more inspiration on YouTube? No! It's time.
When the start is the hardest part, what do you do? You minimise the time spent in the start. And how do you do that?
You make like a concert pianist and twiddle your fingers.
"Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go." - E.L. Doctorow
Mr Doctorow reminds us to ease off the pressure of having everything figured out before you start.
You need to flip the script and be willing to write your way to inspiration.
This means the words you put down at the start of a session might be discarded. That's ok.
"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison
The same applies to writing anything.
Write the article you want to read. Write the tweet that excites you right now. Write for present you and past you.
Write the piece you needed to read five years ago when you were struggling.
Now writing is less about speaking to nothingness and praying.
It's about writing to someone you know well.
"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader." - Robert Frost
Frost reveals a critical component of powerful writing.
If you don't feel the words, your reader will not either.
This is why good writing is a process of warming up - you work yourself from a robotic writer into an emotional writer.
"Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open." - Natalie Goldberg
Following this guidance is so underused.
It's one of the biggest opportunities for writers right now. It's like a rarely visited aquifer with the potential to deliver years of water in a desert.
This isn't a joke.
Instead of trying to figure out the latest trend that will help you go viral, just ask yourself: what am I scared to write?
And write it.
"I believe that writing is derivative. I think good writing comes from good reading." ― Charles Kuralt
Great thought from Mr. Kuralt. It's easy to fall into the habit of writing without reading.
Watching films helps, but it is no substitute for reading. Reading directly immerses you in the craft of writing.
When we read, we are being inspired by writers. We pick up ideas and can turn them into new ones through our filters.
When I'm stuck creatively, it's time to either walk or read.
"The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say." - Anaïs Nin
A great reflection when considering your next piece is: 'What can I say that others are not?'
This thinking keeps you immune from obscurity, AI advancements, and ruthless competition.
"In writing. Don't use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was "terrible," describe it so that we'll be terrified. Don't say it was "delightful"; make us say "delightful" when we've read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers, "Please will you do my job for me." ― C.S. Lewis
C.S. Lewis, the great writer of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe said it well.
I fall into this mistake often.
It's easy to describe something. But can you show what you mean so the reader sees it, envisions it, and is punched in the gut with what you show them?
"I try to leave out the parts that people skip." - Elmore Leonard
You don't want readers to feel the need to skip paragraphs.
This is like getting plates returned that are only half-eaten at a restaurant. You want your reader to gorge on the entire thing.
A great way to tell if your readers will likely skip is when your writing process no longer feels fun.
"The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do." - Thomas Jefferson
It's tempting to fluff up our words to write quicker and hit larger word quotas.
But this infects the quality of your creations. You must see writing as a service for the reader. Don't give them more than they need to chew.
See writing like organising a Zen garden. They don't have weeds.
"Your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way." ― Ray Bradbury
This sounds a little head in the clouds, but Bradbury is spot on. He's referring to the play between two voices as we write: the critical voice and the creative voice.
Too many of us stumble over the sharp spikes of critical voice and never get anywhere because we're in editing mode.
We must switch modes like Megatron.
Listening to your creative voice means opening up, letting go of the process, and writing what comes to mind.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Six ways to become needed by your customers and clients so you have all the financial freedom you need
True freedom isn't necessarily living in a cabin, isolated and detached. It is to be needed - this gives us options.
Then you can live where you like without stress. When we have choice, we can do whatever we want.
And to be depended on requires you to nurture your value in a way that others cannot emulate.
You must become indispensable.
Here's what I learned and working on to create this in my work as a travelling writer:
1. Focus on service.
Indispensability is not a one-sided thing. There have been many talented people who created fantastic things but sadly weren't needed.
Their works lay discarded in an attic somewhere after they died, and no one cried.
Those who have people forming a queue around the block for their goods, talents, and services have found the part of them that genuinely gives a shit about helping other humans get results.
There are two sides to it. 1. Your creative brilliance and 2. People that are actually helped.
You must bridge the two, and this comes from a dedication to service and understanding who it is that stands to benefit from your skill.
While most people are out here trying to impress, you are working to serve.
2. Combine several strengths and skills into one thing.
You might have found a way to truly serve people, but if three thousand other numskulls are doing it, you're at the mercy of your client jumping ship on a whim.
You must hone a skill or service that others cannot emulate. You become indispensable.
This requires your creativity, awareness of your strengths, and combining several elements that form a unique hybrid. You may want to write a list of all your strengths and see how to creatively combine them.
For example, a life coach who combines this with his mountaineering skill and passion for spirituality to take his clients higher, both literally and consciously.
3. Embrace you.
There is a subtle force in the world that slowly makes everyone look, think and act the same.
It's a pathetic, soul-destroying force, and you must push against this at every turn.
You need to embellish the aspects of you that are unique and interesting. As such, you must be willing to polarise.
Not everyone will like the genuine side of who you can be. This is OK and part of developing an indispensable brand.
Embracing who you really are will not only colour your brand, demonstrating your confidence and uniqueness to the world, making you difficult to copy, but you are living a life of integrity.
This is vital for your mental health, and sense of aliveness and will ultimately feed into your work, making you even higher value.
4. A period of experimentation.
To get a more profound sense of your strengths, what works, and what your options for your hybrid value are, you need to try out several things.
Obviously, the sooner you go through this period, the better.
Your brand will also continually evolve and will benefit from continual experimentation.
The more experiences, wins and losses you've had, the more clarity you will have on how you can differentiate and make your mark. Don't dwell on regrets of the past.
This is all helpful information you can use to inform and deepen your unique value to the world.
5. Awareness-building.
No one depends on someone they don't know exists.
As such, you need to get off your ass and put consistent and relentless work into becoming known.
One of your biggest ongoing challenges as a personal brand or business is obscurity. It's why so many businesses fail and so many people develop resentment for the game.
This requires more work than you think in a noisy world, but it is worth it. Awareness and a network connect your brilliance to the people who need it. Do everything you can to become connected, known and talked about.
Email and DM people to connect. Develop audiences across the web. Invest in audience growth. Build an email list. Share videos.
You must have people know you to be genuinely indispensable and therefore free.
6. A commitment to indispensability.
Becoming indispensable is rarely an accident.
There must be awareness here, and a firm decision behind its attainment, or you will continually jump to new things, never accruing the exceptional value upon which others will depend.
Commit today to become indispensable, building a system around its attainment, and serving the people who matter most.
You're not a baby anymore. You will need the courage to say NO to things that take away from developing something truly remarkable.
Make honing your skills an ongoing practice.
Tomorrow's freedom depends on you making this a reality today.
I'm excited to see what you create for us...
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Ten behaviours that make people respect you more
I've learned a lot about human behaviour through years of awkwardness.
People don't need to know very much about you to make a snap judgement about the kind of person you are.
You can take advantage of this by making a few subtle shifts in your everyday behaviour.
These will improve the perception people have of you:
Stop always being available.
You don't always need to respond to that text.
You don't always need to smile, laugh or get back to people. You shouldn't be always available, and your real-life can reflect this. It can't be an act. It is a sense of scarcity that creates the perception of high value.
Create a life that makes you and your time scarce.
What impression does ALWAYS being available transmit?
That's right.
You have little self-respect, you aren't focused on your own stuff, you aren't in high demand, and you probably don't have a mission - people will sense this.
Talk less.
I was always ashamed that I spoke little at school. Much of this came out of my shyness, but even today, I often find it difficult to find the words.
This is ok, because speaking less demonstrates a comfort in one's own skin if coupled with a relaxed demeanour. It gives the other person a chance to speak more, which most appreciate and pitches you as open, thoughtful, and generous with the space you give.
Speaking less also generates a mystery about you that keeps people interested, and wanting to know more about you.
Be relaxed and move slow.
Quick movements and fidgeting make you appear like a nervous woodland creature in the headlights.
You can encourage relaxation, and even a calmer mind, by moving a little slower. It's a positive loop. Not rushing around like a headless chicken signals you are in control; you have time, and you go at your own pace.
This alone will shift the perspective others have of you as well as the one you have of yourself.
Sharpen up your physical appearance.
We can't change how we came out of the womb, but we can maximise our appearance.
There's a reason you feel better after a haircut or a manicure. What does it say about you? Looking at a body we like in the mirror makes a difference.
We might claim that caring about how we look is shallow, but deep down you know it's key, and will alter the perception others have of you greatly.
That's nature. It's reality. Your resistance to this will keep you miserable.
Talk a fraction slower.
One of the major contributors to my overcoming social anxiety was adopting a thing called 'slow talk.'
Talking slower helped tremendously. Why? Because it gives me time to think. It slowed me physically and slowed my thinking too. This is what an anxious me needed most. Space.
This works for anyone. Most of us are rushing through life and wondering why we're anxious.
Talk slower and you will calm down, elevate your perceived status, and garner respect.
Know your boundaries and exert them.
People-pleasers have few boundaries.
They equate pleasing people with an increase in their self-worth and then wonder why they go to sleep at night depressed.
People who command respect don't allow an invasion of their time and energy. They know when and how to say 'no.' This is how to stay sane and maintain the energy that the world needs from you.
Boundaries keep all this in check, and others will be inspired rather than offended by it.
Dress well.
The seemingly superficial can make a huge difference.
Dress well and you will feel better and create an entirely different impression versus looking scruffy. It makes a huge difference.
You knew this though. I'm just here to remind you ;).
Stop trying to impress everyone.
Many of us grew up picking up the idea that if we please other people (our parents), we'd be rewarded and we'd be seen as good (little boys and girls).
Pleasing people is not a life strategy that will lead to anything good for you (unless you prefer to see your soul gradually diminish and people slowly lose respect for you).
Instead, be valuable and serve people when it's appropriate.
Oh, and confront the reality that you're being insincere.
You don't really believe what you're saying when you're overly nice to everyone, do you?
Hold people's eye.
Nothing says 'I'm confident and I am interested in other people' than holding someone's gaze, especially for a little longer than might feel comfortable.
This will stand out in a fidgety world where everyone is avoiding each other's gaze, glued to the adult version of the baby's dummy - their phones.
Take up more space.
Spread out a little when you sit down.
'Man-spreading' was a term coined by those jealous of those with confidence.
People respect those who aren't afraid to take up a little space.
I don't mean sprawl out like you just had a heart attack (for those throwing paper planes at the back) - I mean taking up that little extra.
This applies to the standing position also. Loosen outwards. This will position you as relaxed, open and higher status. Use it.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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Ten ways minimalism can simplify your life
I've incorporated minimalism into my life for over a decade.
I'm by no means a pure minimalist, but I've gained tremendously from making as many of my decisions as possible based on minimal thinking.
At its core, minimalism is a lifestyle and design philosophy that simplifies and removes excess.
Essentially, it's about prioritising what matters the most, and letting go of the rest.
When we do, we create more bandwidth, our stress decreases, and we become more effective.
Life has a way of offloading all sorts of crap into our laps, and if we're not conscious of it, we can forget to throw out the garbage. Over time, various pressures and material items pile up, and we sometimes don't even know why we're stressed.
In future articles, I intend to explore the granular details of minimalism more deeply, but today, we're looking broad to see what's on offer.
Here are some ways we can simplify our lives:
Financial minimalism.
A liberating practice is to go into your bank statements and mark all the expenses you don't absolutely need.
Cut them out. It doesn't matter how much you make. Bills - especially unnecessary ones - eat away at us a tiny bite at a time. With each bill snuffed, no matter how insignificant, you can breathe a little more freely.
What's the first bill you will cut today?
Decluttering.
Remove unnecessary items from your home, garage or - if you're like me - the suitcases you live out of.
There's usually plenty you simply don't need. Additional items can be an eyesore; they add to mental overwhelm, they can cost you more money in the long term, and they require cleaning and maintenance.
If you haven't used something in the last month, consider binning it or giving it away. Stop accumulating junk just because it seems normal. You can live in a clutter-free environment and feel great.
What's an item you can lose today?
Digital minimalism.
I know how hard it is to spend less time on the Internet or glued to a screen.
You don't need to quit these things entirely. You can benefit more than you think by consciously cutting down.
Last week, for example, I deleted all the apps I don't use on my phone. I swear I slept better that night.
You can cut your screen time tomorrow by an hour and feel better, and this change will have little impact on your life.
Simplify your wardrobe.
Shoes are nice, but you don't need seventeen pairs. We can also have bulging wardrobes that gather dust.
What could a minimal wardrobe do for you? Invest in quality clothes, versatile ones, but ditch the rest.
I have shoes I use for walks and the gym, for example. It's less stress on the environment, limits decision fatigue, and frees you up to focus on more important things.
Can you give away a clothing item today?
Mindful consumption.
Most of us buy far more than we need.
We're capitalists, and we can get carried away by a current of purchasing out of money lust. What if you brought more awareness to what you consumed? What if you prioritised consuming considerably less than most people?
Could you buy only the things that are absolutely necessary from now on?
I know buying things can feel like pleasure, but could you derive just as much, if not more, enjoyment from cutting out unnecessary things? Make it a game.
Prioritising your time.
How we use our time benefits from principles of minimalism just as much as acquiring material goods.
Time is money, after all. We all only have so much time in the day. If we aren't conscious of what matters most, we'll make time for most things.
What is essential that deserves your time today?
This is why having a broader purpose is crucial; it points to what you need to prioritise.
What are the non-essentials that drain you? Why are you giving them time and attention?
Healthy eating.
You can eat minimally and be well-nourished. How does minimalism apply here?
First, it helps to have a good sense of what types of foods you should be consuming and what to avoid.
Prioritising healthy food is already a profound step towards a simpler life because you'll benefit from the energy of eating well. This saves time and extends your life. You can also be more efficient about how you eat, for example, batch preparing a load of food.
You also needn't follow the typical societal program of three square meals. You can eat two meals a day and avoid snacking.
That frees up space, and you can still get everything you need.
Simplifying your relationships.
What if you focused only on meaningful relationships with cool people rather than clinging to superficial or miserable people?
It's amazing how many of us allow negative folks into our lives when there are so many other fish in the pond.
If others are a continual source of stress, is there an option to reduce or entirely remove that relationship? Perhaps some uncomfortable conversations are needed here.
Life is short, remember, and other people can be some of the most significant strains.
Travel light.
Living in over twelve countries in the last fifteen years, I've gotten pretty good at travelling light.
All my belongings right now fit in three bags. On shorter trips, I enjoy organising my packing so things are light - military-grade light. I've been known to break my toothbrush in half. It adds up.
This also informs what I choose to buy, focusing on lighter items. It's a world of difference when you no longer need to lug around heavy crap just because you wanted to make sure you didn't miss anything.
You can be more decisive than that.
Mindful practices.
Doing regular meditation and being more mindful is perhaps the most underrated aspect of living more minimally.
We often overlook how essential stillness is to the quality of our lives.
When stressed and our minds are swirling with anxious thoughts, we make poorer, more rushed decisions. We act on impulse. We make mistakes that we regret.
You can't be truly minimal if you don't know how to manage the mind.
Mindfulness sits at the core.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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People-pleasing will slowly diminish your happiness. Do this instead...
It took me most of my 36 years to realise I was operating on outdated software.
I had downloaded a program into my mind as a boy.
As we all do.
It is the software that guides us in our early years. Most of us never see a system update before we hit the grave.
What's its name?
'People-Pleasing V 1.0.'
As children, we are programmed to please the giant, scary, all-powerful adults around us.
Most of them tell us to behave. They tell us to be good. They show us that good things happen when we do the right thing.
We learn, through years and years of pushing our boundaries and seeing the feedback:
We get what we want when we please.
Upload complete.
Later, as we emerge from the hormonal abyss into adulthood, we might find that people-pleasing doesn't work all that well.
But many of us don't see it and we people-please harder.
We hope that by being nicer, more impressive, and charming, more people will notice us.
It doesn't work. People see through it, and it doesn't connect.
People continue to ignore us, disrespect us, and fail to return our calls and messages.
What gives?
Here's what's happening:
We're operating on old software.
People-pleasing doesn't work if you want to make a difference and an impact.
As children, we learn how to behave as people-pleasers because it works. We're relatively powerless at that age. Adults want us to behave and to fall in line.
But as adults, this way of thinking and behaving will only be met by resistance or quiet disrespect.
We are responsible adults. We are owners of our own spirits and our own actions.
As I found through years of mistake-making, the world rewards those who acknowledge this power.
If we see ourselves in ownership of this energy, the only direction it can go is outwards.
This shows up as serving others.
That is where respect and difference-making are to be found.
We find it when we serve. Not when we try to impress, cajole, or persuade.
Serving is about being genuinely helpful, even if it doesn't immediately please the recipient.
Serving is about realising our ability to help and finding ways to make a real difference.
It is about creating win/win deals that benefit everyone involved.
When we feel the need to impress and please and promote and sell, it reflects a powerlessness. It reflects our own inadequacy.
We need to see ourselves as the source of innate energy, happiness, joy and wisdom that we really are.
An endless well of the stuff.
When we rely on others to be happy, we walk this Earth with a meek and rather pathetic air.
That's not for you.
It's time to stand tall, acknowledge our power and our brilliance.
It's time to act with a sense of pride, ownership and responsibility for who we really are and how we can impact others.
We do this by serving.
Over and over and over.
When we close the day having served another, we have lived a beautiful day.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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That time I had to find $8,000 in less than two weeks...
Author's note: this was written several years ago
It's that time of the year when I need to do my company taxes.
All those months of taking my attention away from anything to do with taxes have come to an end.
It's crunch time again.
I actually have to look at my numbers and make some calculations for my accountant.
No more avoiding.
This time of the year brings me back to 2014 when I was living in Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam.
I remember being in my apartment, practically sitting on the air con, fanning myself, still sweating from the late afternoon humidity.
An email had come through from my accountant in London.
He told me that, owing to a good previous year, I'd have to pay a considerable amount more tax this August.
My heart sank because I realised I had to find about £6,500 ($8,000) in two weeks or I'd have to start paying late fees.
This was money I didn't have.
After crying into a beer or two, I got serious. I wrote down some ideas on how to create this money, fast.
It's amazing what a deadline and some good, old-fashioned terror can do for one's productivity.
I asked myself, 'what can I help someone with, that provides real value in the quickest time possible?'
Within a couple of days, I'd set up a new product, advertised on my site called 'Client Accelerator.'
A marketing friend in Vietnam and I would charge a fee for a written appraisal of someone's website and social media set up, designed to help them get more and better clients.
Selling this and taking on a handful of coaching clients meant I found the money, and more, within two weeks.
I was overjoyed (and it introduced me to 121 coaching for the first time).
Here's what I've learned since then:
We don't need to fear money and be scared of taking risks to make money.
Many of us make the mistake of connecting making money with our self-worth.
The truth is that there is no connection.
If we lose money, we can't possibly decrease our self-worth or happiness.
When we really get this, we can be freer in our relationship with money.
We don't fear rejection from clients so much.
We can more comfortably take risks in making more of it.
How?
Because we no longer see losing money as losing a piece of ourselves.
We see the game of it.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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How to turn an ordinary life into a lucky life
You are hurting.
Someone said a bad thing.
Something hit a nerve.
You feel like ignoring all social niceties and smashing the table with a fist.
You feel depressed, and you might not even know why.
Negative emotions can have an immensely strong pull on all of us.
They swirl and envelop, like black mist polluting our souls.
In an instant, the world is a hostile, alien place.
Like myself, we all experience the encroaching black mist.
No one has the privilege of being free from hardship; from life's thorns.
Life is a moving current. Obstacles that challenge our emotional stability converge on each of us with relentless force.
No one is exempt from this unforgiving torrent.
And yet some of us seem to fall into luck more often than others.
A handful of us appear to flow through with fewer problems.
Some of us enjoy more 'wins' than the rest of us.
Those who are able to succeed more often than they lose, are not - for the most part - 'luckier' than anyone else.
They are not - by some divine power - more special or more deserving, than anyone else.
They are simply more attuned to the power of mental toughness.
Mental toughness is an attitude, not a gene, or a 'personality' trait.
And it is available to anyone with the courage to take it.
Mental toughness is the habitual shift in attention away from self-pity, to act with resolve. And it is doing it without delay.
It is understanding 'the turn' - that transition that takes you from victim to owner in an instant.
It is having the strength to deny an emotional outburst at every provocation, to create a gap between emotion and reaction; to breathe.
We all have an urge to complain, to pity or to loathe ourselves when we are hurt. It's like an indulgent itch that needs scratching.
Leave the itch, and 'turn' instead.
This is where all the rewards of life are to be found.
Turn. Turn. Turn.
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mental toughness is something that requires awareness, and practice, but the more often you make the 'turn,' the 'luckier' your life will become.
People who suffer, rarely make the turn. Or they take too long to make it.
Many argue that if you are down or hurting, that you need to love yourself more. But it is not self-kindness that we need when we are clouded by the mist. It is assertiveness.
It is the agile and conscious turning away from your hurts, and instead, making a difference.
You cannot ruminate on a problem to fix it. You cannot stew. This is stagnation, and this will slowly end you.
You must make a decision where everybody wins, and act immediately.
This means taking several breaths.
It means doing one thing to improve your situation, even if you want to cower under bed covers.
It is using your dissatisfaction to double down on your goals; committing to a strategy to reach them twice as fast.
It is using your hurt to make a positive change instead.
It is pumping yourself up if you have been low.
It is calming yourself down when you have been triggered.
It is killing it in the gym or going for a long walk.
But it might also be to move your attention away from yourself to someone else.
To lift someone else's spirits.
To make someone else feel at ease.
Mental toughness is a decision.
A decision to live a lucky life.
And you can make it right now.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Sixteen little life hacks that will do more for your mental health than a year with any therapist
1. Every morning, write out your challenges and opportunities.
Journal through your solutions to get those thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
2. Develop the habit of being curious about your emotions instead of being carried away with them.
Creating this distance will nurture your emotional control.
3. Walk every single day for at least 30 minutes.
4. Focus less on mental health unless you have severe problems and more on creating 'success' in your life in whatever form 'success' is for you.
5. Make a commitment to letting go of the need to worry.
Turning away from worry to focus on the real world is a practice that will change your life.
6. Refuse to buy into the idea that you have a 'problem.'
Most forms of 'healing' reinforce the idea that you have a 'problem.'
Focus less on you and more on the people around you.
7. Lift weights regularly.
The physical and cognitive benefits are documented and substantial. Do not physically weaken.
8. Forgive yourself.
Many of us hold a grudge against who we were.
Find a way to understand that what you did was for a good reason at the time.
You're human. Forgive.
9. Be aware of energy drains.
Enforce firm boundaries to ensure your energy levels aren't 'stolen' by other people, bad news, bad food and cheap sources of dopamine.
10. Avoid insulin-spiking food like bread, refined sugar and pastries.
This ensures your mood remains stable, and you're less likely to get into bad thinking habits due to physical imbalance.
11. Be yourself.
Don't allow the need for approval from others make you weird and uptight.
Get into the habit of showing us who you are - warts and all.
12. Spend five minutes listing out some things you're grateful for.
Reminding yourself of what you have will lift you, but it also makes you more receptive to receiving more positive things.
13. Stay lean and avoid being fat.
This may require some active diet shifts.
Wheat consumption is now known to be one of the most significant contributors to weight gain.
14. If you're a man, check your testosterone levels.
Do whatever you can to raise these as high as possible.
This is directly correlated to your mood, energy and mental health.
15. Never sit still for more than 45 minutes.
This is unless you're sleeping (in which case, you need your 8 hours or so for optimal mental health).
Take regular stretching and movement breaks.
16. Develop a closer relationship with breathing.
We can hold our breath when fearful, which reinforces mental ill-health.
Breathe properly, through the nose, and take 3 slow, long breaths when you get emotional.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
|
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Sixteen ways to become a masterful writer (without writing)
There's no replacement for writing a lot if you want to become an impactful writer.
Obviously.
BUT, my (14+) years as an online writer showed me that to make the biggest impact we benefit tremendously from nurturing other areas, outside of writing per sé.
Here are things I do that have a direct and positive bearing on the quality of my writing (as long as I keep writing!)...
Have more experiences
The best writing reflects a writer's real-life experiences.
There's only so much we can write about if we haven't gone out into the world and picked up stories and sensory details. Readers know when your words are rooted to the real.
You must live a life outside your writer's cabin, so you can return with the scars of action, so you can tell fresh, helpful stories through which your reader can live vicariously. Book that trip.
Arrange that interview. Go on that urban adventure.
Take on that challenge, and report back.
Lift weights
The cognitive benefits of weights are well documented.
A strong, fit body means a more oxygenated, more creative brain, better writing capacity and more stamina for those longer writing sessions.
Read more fiction
Great writers, whether non-fiction writers or not, have a good grasp of the power of storytelling, and the elements comprising powerful stories.
Immerse yourself in good, emotional fiction stories and become familiar with why it is you click with stories you love.
To show someone's transformation through struggle is foundational for storytelling.
Explore your senses
Too many of us spend most of our days (lives) in our heads.
We create distance between awareness and our words and rely heavily on merely thinking. We can forget that the present moment is giving us continuous data we can translate into fascinating and electric writing. Delve often into your senses.
Observe. Immerse yourself in the sights and sounds around you.
Use your heightened sense of what's real to dazzle your reader.
Talk to more people
Fantastic writers are curious about people and are continually looking for clarity on what their readers want.
There's no better way to learn more about others and what they want than to speak with them often.
Ask questions. Buy people coffee. Run surveys. Talk to your newsletter subscribers and followers. Ask what challenges they are having.
What turns people on? Write about what you love, but do this within the framework of understanding human nature and current trends too.
Be inspired by human creativity
Beyond reading books, there are other ways to absorb the genius of others - not instagram - but out in the real word - for example by taking in masterpieces at a museum, or taking in a concert.
Learn about writing well
Read both fiction and non-fiction, and resources around improving your writing and story-telling skills.
Writing becomes more interesting when we view it as a craft to be mastered.
I spent a year deep-dive learning creative writing, for example, and this new awareness now feeds into my non-fiction and my ability to persuade and inspire others through words and stories.
Reduce artificial dopamine
When our dopamine is continually blasted, like it is for most of us, whether it's through video games, porn or sugary treats, we over-use our dopamine receptors.
This means it takes more stimulation to create the same 'happiness' high it once did.
The problem here is a significant one - we become less sensitive to everyday experiences - the very beauty that will infuse life and colour into your writing.
Cut back for periods to address this imbalance.
Socialise
A lot of writers are introverts, and more likely to seek out solitude (like me).
By bringing even a little social interaction into your week, you're nourishing the part of you that is nourished by socialising.
This will feel good and give you more ideas to write about, in addition to operating from a healthier mental space.
Get into photography and film-making
I regularly take pictures and short video clips of the beautiful city in which I now live (Krakow).
This has made me continually aware of the beauty around me. I am always looking for that great shot. My awareness is heightened.
Guess what noticing the small, aesthetic details has done to my writing?
Play (word) games
Is it a coincidence that writers love games like Scrabble or even cross-words? Anything that prompts your creativity, particularly through words, is going to help you write better.
Commit to being a world-class writer
Have daily writing goals. Create a system that helps you make the most of your writing skills. Showing up daily, which you must, starts with a commitment.
That commitment is fueled with energy when your aim is to master the craft.
Record and share videos
I've shared over 350 videos on YouTube. I barely edit - I just talk - mostly on subjects related to the workings of the mind.
This has helped my speaking confidence and sharpened my free-flowing, uncensored creativity muscle, all of which transfers over to my writing.
Judge less, observe more
Many of us spend our days judging and applying meaning to everything.
'He's a fool.' 'That coffee is too strong,' etc. When we judge, we are closing our minds to insight - those ideas that come through when we are willing to simply observe the world around us.
When we can sit in presence and observe, we are gifted with fresh ideas - the kinds of ideas your reader would also love to see.
Work your visualisation muscle
Most of us have allowed our imagination to atrophy because everything is handed to us on a plate.
For example, CGI in movies leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. A great writer has a well-used imagination. It's an intentional practice, just like meditation or brushing your teeth.
Spend a few minutes actively visualising your future - your dreams - your stories - every day, and you will be a masterful writer, quick to see and describe things others don't.
Be a note-taker
Walk, be mindful, sketch, and note down your insights.
Do it often, and you will be rewarded with more insights you can use in your writing. The more you note, the more you notice. It's a loop. (my notes illustration)
Writing well isn't all about writing. There are other elements to it, some of which we have explored here. I encourage you to share more ideas if you have them in the comments.
Live your life, but don't forget to write!
🔆
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Here are nine ways to rekindle your flame, if you've been feeling flat
If you don't have periods where you're not your energised self, welcome to the experience of being human.
The first step in moving past your slump is accepting that it's normal.
Beyond this, these are some actions that helped me a great deal:
1. Do something hard you know you need to do.
I've learned to be guided by my energy levels over the years.
Something vital we often miss is that when we feel down or flat, it's more often than not an indication that we're not taking courage where we need to. We're neglecting something important.
Our spirit slowly dies when we turn away from what we know we should do.
What are you ignoring? Take a small step in that direction and notice your energy returning.
2. Take the pressure off.
I can bet you're struggling more than you need to because of....you. We all make our lives more serious than it needs to be.
Self-pressure via critical thoughts is the most common way we sabotage our progress and choke off our joy. We entertain thoughts of what we 'should' do, which makes us stressed, blocking off our energy flows.
Do what needs to be done, as we discussed in the previous point, but don't allow those things to bring you pressure.
Either act assertively on one thing or let go of the continual beratement.
3. Read a book you wouldn't usually read.
Get to the library and pick out a book from a section you wouldn't usually touch but is interesting nonetheless.
Read a few pages. What opportunities might this new perspective bring?
How do these new pieces of knowledge inform a new, refreshed trajectory as you move forward? How could you combine what you learned with what you now know innovatively?
Now you're smashing seemingly separate ideas together into something fresh.
You're a creator. This is energising.
4. Follow your inclinations.
Most of us run around from one thing to the next like a pinball, responding to everyone else's ideas but our own.
You react to this and that, never stopping for a moment to listen to your internal voice.
You're anxious and running on adrenaline. Slow down and allow your mind to still. This is where your most profound wisdom is found. Here, your tiniest inclinations will guide you to what is worth doing.
Listen to those sparks of self-generated excitement - they hold the most promise for you.
5. Spend a day doing nothing.
I bet you just had a moment of pure relief in seeing that this is even possible.
Obviously, this is not possible for everyone, but do whatever is the next best.
Allow yourself a solid portion of time - a half-day, a weekend - to do nothing. You'll probably find that you can't last an hour, and you'll see that your enthusiasm comes back effortlessly just because you stopped trying to do anything for a moment.
You may find the 'trying' was the culprit all along.
6. Write an opportunity list.
This quick activity rarely fails to energise me.
Most of us don't give this kind of thing the time of day, but it can make a massive difference.
Have fun brainstorming a fat list of all the opportunities you can think of for your life in the months ahead.
This act puts you in the driver's seat and gets you thinking creatively. Creative thinking is the opposite of reactive, victim-based thinking that characterises people who experience long slumps.
What's possible?
What is exciting?
Go further than sensible or 'reasonable.' What would the most confident, fearless, energised version of you choose to do?
7. Take 5 tiny actions.
I know from a lot of struggle that when I feel stuck and overwhelmed, it's because I have a vision in my mind of a frightening future.
We can exhaust ourselves with the scale and size of everything we feel we 'should' do next. We see needing to climb Everest instead of walking to the next tree 10 metres away. Of course we don't want to move.
So envision your trees. 5 tiny actions. Write them down. What are five super-easy steps you can do today? This is how you take responsibility again and create momentum.
Soon you will be on the top of the mountain without realising how easy it was.
8. Go on a two-hour walk.
Walks rule. They get you out of your head and into your physicality and surroundings.
This stills the mind so that you connect with resourceful insight effortlessly. When I'm stuck or low, I walk. I no longer see long walks as a 'nice option.'
Like Charles Dickens, who would walk five hours a day, I see them as a regular necessity.
Short walks solve 54% of your problems.
Long walks solve 89% of your problems.
9. Find a mentor.
Few can do it all alone in whatever you're looking to do.
In fact, you'd be crazy to try to take everything on by yourself without any guidance. I've lost years of my life building things that failed because I didn't take the time to ask someone who did it how they did it.
Finding a mentor doesn't necessarily mean forking out thousands for a coach, though this can help propel you with the right person.
You can identify people who could help, find a way to help them collaboratively, and forge win-win relationships.
Why make endless mistakes when you can talk to people who already made those mistakes and have them show you the way?
Find one person to speak to today, and ask.
🔆
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'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
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Stop being a little bish: 10 habits to build respect and self-worth
Life is slow to reward the guy who plays it safe, is scared of his shadow, and hopes people will notice how nice he is.
That used to be me, and it did nothing for the dent I could have left on this planet.
One of the most invigorating life choices is to refuse to be weak. Life isn't always easy, but it's made far more complicated when you lose your sense of inner strength on top of that.
These 10 habits will help you stop sabotaging your life, draw respect from others, and respect yourself.
1. Never beg. Negotiate from strength.
Begging for approval, attention, or time is the ultimate wimp act.
Instead, approach every interaction with a negotiator's mindset. Figure out the win-win agreement and shake on it. Never lower yourself to anyone, no matter how highly you view them.
We're all just clothed chimps on a spinning rock in space.
People respect those who respect themselves first.
2. Become unpredictable.
Predictability will help you join the ranks of average and rather dull Nathanial Hogbottom.
If people always know your next move, they can anticipate and manipulate you. Keep those suckers guessing.
Don't overshare your plans. Leave room for mystery.
This doesn't mean being a crazed crack fiend on summer vacation; it means being deliberate but not entirely predictable.
3. Walk away from any relationship that drains you.
There's a difference between putting in effort to make a worthy relationship thrive and being a human foot towel.
Energy is your most important asset, and the people around you either motivate you to be better or leave you thinking it's time to jump from a bridge. Staying in draining relationships out of guilt or fear only turns you into a limp little leaf.
Find your nuts and get the hell out of there. It's time to get selfish.
4. Own your dark side without shame.
Every man has a darker side, and pretending it doesn't exist is turning you into a Nancy boy.
Denying your flaws, your anger, your animal desires, or your ambition is stifling you like a rope around a tree trunk.
Use your shadow to fuel your discipline, creativity, or goals rather than letting it leak out in passive-aggressive jabs or whimpers of self-denial.
Own your perceived imperfections and turn them into fuel.
5. Say 'no' without guilt.
Every time you say 'yeah ok' to something you don't really want, you're saying 'heck no' to yourself.
Setting boundaries don't make you rude; they strengthen the vision people have of you.
Practice saying 'no' clearly, with grace, and without rambling justifications.
6. Create a life that's impossible to sabotage.
Reliance on anyone - be it a boss, a partner, the government or a friend - is a critical vulnerability.
If your ability to walk away relies on someone else's decision, you have no control or true freedom.
Build your own income streams based on multiple customers, learn the skills to fend for yourself, and prioritise freedom over keeping up with the damn Joneses.
7. Be honest, but don't explain yourself.
The truth cuts deeper than any excuse or half-baked explanation.
You're in a self-imposed prison of self-censorship otherwise. Speak your mind honestly, but don't overshare or defend every decision you make.
The right people will respect your sincerity, and the wrong ones don't deserve the effort.
8. Realise everything is your fault.
Stop fishing for pity when things get hard.
Accept that things are the way they are because of you. This isn't as crippling as it sounds. In fact, it's the opposite. When you see life through the lens of your role in it, you now have instant power.
You can either let it go if it's out of your control. Or you can take your newfound agency and do something other than whining.
9. Build your own code of honour.
Stop following rules that don't serve you.
Many of us do this without realising it and then wonder why we're miserable. Every great man lives by a set of principles he wrote for himself - not what society, friends, or family told him to believe.
Decide what you stand for, what you'll never tolerate, and what you're willing to fight for. Literally write it all down.
Live by it, and let it guide every decision you make.
10. Lead before you're ready
Waiting to feel 'ready' is fear manifesting.
No one hands leadership to a man sitting on his hands waiting for permission. Take initiative, even if you're scared.
Plan the trip, make the freaking decision, take charge of your life.
People respect the man who acts, even when the stakes feel high or the road ahead is uncertain.
You got this.
🔆
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How to find the easy way in a frustrating world
I was speaking to a client friend whose mother recently received a new mac laptop upgrade.
She was having tremendous difficulty getting the computer set up, and it frustrated her for over an hour. The thing just didn't want to work.
My friend took a look, and he saw that she hadn't followed the initial sequence of steps that Apple provides new mac users to ensure a smooth setup process.
We often see this kind of thing with older generations in their interactions with newer pieces of technology. Things get stuck. Nerves get tested. Younger members of the family get called in to help.
Often, technology can be badly-designed and present a poor user experience. This is true.
But more often than not, we see a way through when we allow ourselves to slow down and breathe.
Instead of forging ahead through the setup process without reading the instructions, we can take it one step at a time.
We can take a moment to look at the data as it comes in in real time, things work better.
We click the right buttons.
I also see these technological woes as wonderfully analogous to life itself.
Many of us expect technology to be complicated. So we behave in a way that confirms this reality. We move fast. We bluster. We close the pop-up window we needed to see. We aggressively pound the key we could have pressed once.
We fuss and huff and puff.
We assume the prone position of struggle.
We go into things anticipating our inadequacy in the face of it.
Sound familiar?
Many of us approach life this way, even without consciously realising it.
We expect things to be hard, us to be hopeless, or a heady mixture of the two.
What if life could be easy, like Apple's MacBook setup process was supposed to be?
What happens when we slow down and surrender ourselves to what's there? Things tend to work better. We notice things. We're more aware. We're less resistant and more open.
What if we expected things to be OK - even easy?
How would life be different for you? In all areas.
Elements of life can be easy. I don't mean it can't be nerve-wracking, unpleasantly stimulating, stressful, or occasionally tragic.
But much of life can be perceived and experienced as easy.
Most of it.
Our experience - in many instances - can be made easier.
How?
We let go to the idea that we will know what to do when the moment appears.
We find faith in ourselves - that we'll be able to figure it out when we're exposed directly to what shows up in front of us.
When we dare to surrender...
Life reciprocates with a friendly user experience.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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How to write like no one else
Are you saying what others are not?
Nicolas Cole, the chap who wrote a book about online writing, spoke about why it's essential to say what no one else is saying.
He described an exercise you can use to stand out:
List what others often suggest on a chosen topic, and avoid suggesting those things (while saying something different).
For example, in morning routines, most people say we should wake early, stretch, journal, have a cold shower, etc.
Yawn Central.
So your opportunity, as a rebel kickass massive nuts writer, is this:
Provide an idea for a head-spinning morning routine NO ONE is talking about.
Like: Sun gaze without distractions for five minutes in the morning.
Another example I saw from a buddy of mine, Mil Hoornaert, espoused the benefits of not listening to music. Far out! His post went viral.
Barely anyone talks about these things, so you will instantly jump out. You will be memorable.
People are thirsting for fresh takes.
And it doesn't take all that much.
You just need to think like few are thinking, which takes awareness.
It takes seeing what most people say and saying the opposite.
It makes writing and creating SO much more fun.
It's why I continue to write so much, because I love digging out new takes that barely anyone is covering and saying things in ways that no one else does.
All you need to do is ensure your idea works. It has to have worked for you or someone else...
Be different, be weird, say what no one is saying, but be right.
They'll be eating out of your hand.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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How to be unbelievably successful (in 392 words)
What is 'success' anyway?
For me, it's having someone other than my parents, sister and my only two friends like something that I wrote on Facebook (no offence, mum!).
But some people will naturally want more than this.
So to this, I'd say:
Find something at which you're already winning. A talent. A small success made. Something you're interested in. Something you're good at.
Something you could become great at.
Decide on that one thing.
2. Commit to making that thing gut-wrenchingly outstanding, through...
3. ...Dedicating at least 80% of the time you have available for 'work' on that thing, every day of the week, with a half-day break for an adventure.
4. Decide on exactly what your daily output will be in a given timeframe.
For example: '1000 words written between 7 am, and 10 am every darn day.'
Got it?
Now double your planned output in half that timeframe.
Now it's a real stretch, but doable.
Work with urgency.
Always feel like there's no way you'll get this thing done as you go, and then surprise yourself by finding a way.
5. Do this thing daily whether you feel like it or not.
Often, you won't feel like it but just start.
Make yourself accountable by getting someone to see if you've done what you said you'll do. Or don't. Just do it because your vision of who you're becoming is exciting.
6. Do this for 66 days. Ideally in a row, so that it becomes a habit. They say it takes 66 days to internalise a habit, and I believe it.
7. Make sure that you grew a little bit at the end of each day: in character and skill.
8. Repeat. Allow your work to evolve, breath and grow as it needs to. Make 'play' the priority within your work process.
Get as much feedback on your stuff as you can. And then ignore it. You don't need it.
If the work brought you to life just a little bit, you're on the right track.
9. Keep telling people about what you're doing and why you're doing it.
Spread your passion.
That passion comes from sensing the growth in having done it, not from what you were 'born to do.'
Wake others up by allowing them to see and feel the aliveness you get from working on something that challenges you constantly.
Now you're consistently stretching; you feel alive, and success is inevitable.
Because you already are.
(AND I gave you a 28-word bonus!)
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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How building a newsletter of fans and buyers set me free and how you can do the same
'Trust me; you need to keep building your personal brand.'
I bit into my croissant at the air-conned little cafe in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.
'Yeah, yeah, personal brand, personal schmand,' I muttered.
'I don't get why it's so important. I don't want to be famous. I want to make my money and then disappear to some island somewhere.
I can reach out to people on the Internet and continue to get work as an illustrator. Why a brand? That sounds kind of icky.
I'm a freaking human, not a brand,'
My marketing-savvy friend continued telling me how I'd regret not building my online presence and newsletter.
She told me about how prized her newsletter is for her today. She uses it to promote her events and sell products. She also has three sponsors who pay her a total of $9k per month.
'Trust me, you need to do this Alex.'
That was in 2014.
I didn't always stay consistent with sharing content and growing my email list, but I'm so glad I kept it going.
Today I have over 160,000 followers and close to sixty thousand email subscribers. And I'm just getting started.
I have thousands of people who know my story, know about what I stand for, trust me, and regularly write me emails to thank me.
All because I was conscious - over the last 9 years - of maintaining my brand and prioritising growing the community of people around me.
I always prized freedom.
But I learned (through years of VERY little income coming in) that freedom wasn't possible until people needed me.
And no one needed me until they knew who the heck I was, and trusted me.
What's the alternative?
Go live in a cabin somewhere forever?
If you want a freedom business selling coaching, products, courses and even sponsorships, you need a buzzing community of people who believe in you and want to buy your products.
I don't call this an 'audience.'
I call this a Movement.
This group is united by a shared sense of identity, and within this group, you are teaching them how to go from A to B.
That's how they find the enthusiasm to pay for your stuff.
You combine a sense of purpose, community with problem-solving.
That's how to be depended on.
That's how to find your freedom.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Eight steps to writing an article people love in less than 20 minutes
(If you just need to get something out or you want to be a speedy writing warrior)
I've written hundreds of articles and posts over the last fifteen years.
I've written so much that I actually now cut my fingernails using pencil sharpeners.
I write many of my posts fast.
Here's a cheeky framework you can use to write an impactful piece quickly:
1. Take three long, slow breaths through your nose, reflecting on how everything is OK this moment, and you love yourself a hella lot more than you think.
Now you're easing into your default state as a self-compassionate Earthling connected to inner Universal Flow.
(2 mins)
— - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
2. Hide your phone and turn off all distractions.
(45 seconds)
— - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
3. Get out a piece of paper or digital document and write a paragraph or two of whatever comes to mind.
It can be absolute trash.
This loosens you up and signals your brain that you are in non-critical mode.
(Critical, editing mode is death to fast writing).
(3 mins)
— - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
4. Write down 7 problems you or your customers, followers or clients have had recently.
Ideally, this sits within your niche, but it doesn't have to because getting into the habit of writing and publishing anything is a top-tier habit.
(3 minutes)
— - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
5. Pick a problem and write a quick outline for an article or post that follows this structure:
• [Problem] - state it outright, or introduce it within the context of a story, real or imagined.
For eg, 'Two years ago I hated getting on sales calls with potential clients. My heart would race and I'd get dizzy as I got on a call.'
• [Alternative options] - Talk a little about how you once tried to solve this and failed, or how others have attempted to find solutions that don't work well or at all.
For eg, 'I used to think that I had to tell people about my achievements to persuade them to want to work with me...'
• [Your solution or solutions] - Talk about how to solve the initial problem expressed as a single solution or a list of multiple solutions.
For eg, 'I learned from a mentor that selling is about giving people the experience of being helped. That way, their choosing to work with you for a price becomes a no-brainer.'
• [Call to action] - Encourage your reader to take one simple action step to solve this problem.
For e.g., 'Here's a small action step for you to take today so you create more clients...'
• [Hook] - What's the juicy promise you share in your attention-grabbing hook?
Once you know what you are offering in your article's solution, this can be added to the top of the page at the end.
For example: 'My mentor helped me triple my monthly coaching clients with this single piece of advice.'
(2–4 mins)
— - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
6. With the outline in mind or using the basic structure, write the whole article with a sense of enthusiasm and urgency.
You can edit the fluff and the mistakes later.
For now, just get everything down. Focus on speed.
(4 minutes)
— - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
7. Edit using a tool like Grammarly or your eye.
Take out repeated phrases or ideas, any unnecessary words, and tidy up the spelling and grammar. Read it aloud if that helps, so it sounds right.
(2 mins)
— - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
8. Publish with a devilish glint in your eye before dropping to your knees and screaming 'Deus Vult!' like an old-school crusader loud enough to bother the neighbour's cat.
(1.2 mins)
Good luck.
🔆
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Four ways to stay emotionally resilient so you don't get broken by social media
Working on my brand and online business has brought conflict.
I know social media can be full of junk, distraction and negative energy.
But I also see the incredible and endless opportunities for making new connections with fascinating human beings.
I see many people quitting, getting frustrated, and even depressed using social media.
That's no state to be in if you want to grow your movement.
What separates those who struggle and those who absolutely crush on social media?
You guessed it.
The OFF button.
I'm joking.
(Sort of).
There is another option, though.
And that is your mindset.
How you see things changes your experience and choices.
Here's what I mean:
1. Take the long view.
I always struggle when I have high expectations in the short term.
My happiness starts to depend on doing well today, tomorrow, this week.
When a post doesn't get the engagement I want, I feel bad.
When our expectations are high, we inadvertently make ourselves repeatedly frustrated. No bueno.
Take the long view. As others drop, you're still here - because you enjoy the process.
Understand that every little thing you do contributes, even if the results seem invisible. They're not.
2. Be willing to be unfollowed.
I used to feel a visceral discomfort in my chest when I lost a subscriber or follower.
Over time, my concern faded in line with how I viewed things. People unfollowing me isn't about me.
It's circumstantial. It's just data. But we can take it personally, which is silly.
Maybe they didn't need my content at that particular phase in their life.
And who's to know why anyone unfollows anyone?
You'll never really know, and, as such, you needn't stew.
You must take the zoomed-out approach. Your audience is like a living organism expanding and shrinking depending on the climate and the season.
As long as there is overall growth, fantastic.
There is a shape, a definition to the community you are building.
If you aren't repelling people, you aren't building a movement - you're building a vanilla audience. And a tepid gathering doesn't rave. They don't buy. You want unfollows.
You must also be willing to offend, look bad and make mistakes.
No great community was built by someone who got it all right anyway.
3. Don't argue.
You write a post. Someone shares a combative comment.
You share your emotionally-charged response. They bite back.
It's no longer about discussion - it's an argument.
It's become a proving match.
There's no logic in it anymore. This is when you must allow the other person to win the argument by stopping then and there.
Arguments won or lost don't get anywhere - and only serve to fray nerve endings.
They are time sucks.
Mature (and mentally resilient) social media users don't get into arguments.
They don't moan, troll, leave snarky comments, or complain unnecessarily, either. It's just not worth it.
Keep it light always.
Those who get serious create more trouble for themselves and wonder why they never make it.
4. Minimise Internet time to maximise your performance.
Every minute spent on social media when the Internet actively funnels in data is more time spent vulnerable to distraction, comparisonitis, and negative information.
If you're using social media in a way that uses your strengths, like interacting with good people in the DMs, great.
But if you know you're wasting time, you can proactively minimise that:
Use a scheduling tool like Hypefury, or hire someone to distribute your content.
Disconnect from the web when in creative mode on your computer.
Be strict about how you use social media, using it only for key active uses like commenting and interacting to grow your community and connections (business growth).
Stop using it as a source of stimulation. This jacks you up artificially and makes you numb. There are far healthier sources of stimulation like walks and books.
Log your time on each platform and keep it within a defined window.
Take at least one day, ideally two days, OFF social media per week.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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I'm tired of mediocre. Join me in going all the way (are you in?)
I'm tired of mediocre.
I'm tired of ok.
I'm tired of spreading myself thin.
I'm tired of a lack of 'traction.'
I'm tired of nice.
I want my craft to make people blush.
I was never attracted to average. None of us are.
But we keep allowing ourselves to be.
We all want more. We always wanted more.
We just never understood what true mastery expected of us.
But I've been increasingly thinking about it.
My inner animal can't take mediocre anymore.
I want to knock a dent into humanity that reverberates over centuries.
There, I said it.
I'm done being satisfied with grey dot status in a sea of grey dots.
I want to infuse red hot colour into what I do, and I want the people who matter to inhale the glow of that dot and be nourished by it.
The reason I get my laptop and pencil out every day is that there exists a shimmer of the idea of mastery...
...But it's never been clear - it's always just been a word - something others were doing.
DaVinci? Jobs? Picasso?
Not me, surely.
But I've decided.
I'm tired of mediocre, and I'm done with 'good.'
I'm ready to be a master now - to join the path.
It's time to draw a line in the dust.
To be ruthless with my focus. More so than ever before.
To just decide on that one thing. Not those things. Not many things.
One. Thing.
A life devoted to it.
What will it be? Half in, and mediocre? Not bad? Good?
Or all in, and paradigm-shifting?
You know it's time.
It's just a matter of choosing to walk that cliff edge path.
To deep dive into that thing you know you must do with energy.
It is waiting. It is there.
Not simply to 'do your best.'
Yawn.
Let's take it to new levels.
Let's do it the best it can be done.
The best it can be done.
Over the top? Unreasonable? Frightening? Absolutely.
If it scares you, now we're talking.
Are you willing to do that which so few do?
It will take courage, but the results will come.
Why would I know this? Because I've had flashes of it, and you have too.
I know when I create work I was meant to do. I feel it in my soul.
What about you?
Let's settle for nothing other than extraordinary.
Extraordinary productivity, and extraordinary rewards.
This starts with that one thing.
What one thing will you bleed every single day no matter what?
What is that thing that you will pour love and pain into consistently?
It's never obvious, and there is no 'right' way. But a decision made, is.
That's where you start.
Will you join me?
🔆
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"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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"content": "Ten ways regular writing gives you more freedom",
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Ten ways regular writing gives you more freedom
When I struggle to find the excitement to continue writing, I remember the freedom it brings.
Here's how a regular writing and publishing practice brings you freedom:
We connect to something profound.
There are a few ways we can write.
One is to write out of fear, and the other out of love. When we're overwhelmed and rushing, we tend to write rather robotically.
We don't enjoy the process, and our readers do not either.
The alternative is to let yourself go to the process and the art of the practice.
When we do, we connect with an inner wisdom - a deeper well of creative flow.
This is where the joy of writing comes from. Whether for a fleeting moment or full immersion, we connect with something outside ourselves.
Our readers can't describe it, but they are thankful too.
The books, articles and posts you write can be seen as assets.
Just like we buy real estate to expand and secure our wealth as assets, we can do the same with our words.
Assets like books bring us attention and income long into the future, contributing to our freedom.
Writing with the right degree of awareness will help you develop your personal brand.
A conscious brand sets you apart and protects you from what is lost had you not created a brand.
An example is losing work to AI.
A personal brand lifts you above lost opportunities.
Writing is one of the most potent forms of therapy.
When I'm in a slump, I write. I write what comes to mind in my journal.
This is a cathartic release for me and helps me organise my often convoluted thoughts.
Writing to release your ideas to the public is equally therapeutic because there is little that brings happiness like contribution.
Good writing connects you to your dark side.
I view the dark side as the part of you capable of expressing yourself in ways that may invite disapproval.
Society and the general normie masses are honed out of expectation.
To be genuinely innovative, to push the world forward and to inspire others requires you to do the unexpected.
Few have the guts to enter the forest where the sun's rays struggle to reach.
Be willing to go dark, and you'll realise how much power you can wield.
Writing for significant periods will show you what gets you emotional.
If it didn't, you would have quit a long time ago. You can't sustain this craft if you don't find your mission.
You will have found your mission when you write enough to find that spark that connects with you and your reader.
To be on a mission is to separate yourself from the mopey, depressed and misguided masses.
The more you write, the more creative you become.
In the creator economy and the post-information age, harvesting new ideas rapidly is like striking oil in the 1800s.
Fine-tuning your creative muscle will bring you freedom because the person who can deliver powerful ideas and strong messages as if on tap - has the advantage.
Robert Greene said that the more people rely on you, the freer you are.
This may sound counterintuitive, but we have options when others rely on our skills, entertainment and insights.
The person with the most options - whether through providing products or services or simply through influence - is always the freest.
The people who gravitate to you and your writing over the years rely on you to varying degrees.
Writing is a tool that brings you options.
Writing and building your brand will inevitably expand your sense of confidence.
It feels good to know you're making an impact and helping those who thank you for it.
In this way, writing consistently will push you out of despair and toward joy.
Finally, writing, sticking with it, and being conscious of how to incrementally work on the craft will develop your overall communication skills.
When you can communicate well, especially with a sound baseline understanding of how to write, many doors will open for you.
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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"content": "How making bigger bets might be scary, but you’ll know who you really are",
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How making bigger bets might be scary, but you'll know who you really are
Most people live lives of quiet desperation.
Their fears keep them in line.
And they make safe, small bets, which lead to average results.
I've done this plenty in my time because I didn't want to fail, be rejected or look like a moron.
This leads to:
Average product.
Average podcast.
Average relationship.
Average launch.
Average art project.
Average ebook.
Those who succeed make big bets and reinforce their bet with bold claims and bold plans.
Think now of some of your heroes who created remarkable things.
They were all 'unreasonable.'
You need to be a bit of a maniac.
But that's good.
Why?
Because tapping into your inner maniac is enlivening as all hell.
When you set bold targets, especially in public, you force yourself to live up to your heady bet.
It needs to get your heart rate up a little.
Don't be reckless, but take a risk.
The best risks are those with minimal downside and huge potential upside.
Think bigger.
Ask bigger names.
Aim for something bigger and juicier.
Invite loss.
Raise the stakes.
Burn your ships.
Give yourself less time.
Then put every ounce of yourself into it to make it happen.
You are the hero in your own life movie.
This is the secret of those you admire.
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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"content": "They will criticise and you are untouchable, so you may as well create",
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They will criticise and you are untouchable, so you may as well create
One of the biggest things stopping us from creating and sharing and persisting is the fear of criticism.
We fear judgement because we believe judgement will somehow diminish our 'self-esteem' or 'self-worth.'
This is societal and personal programming.
It isn't true.
No one has the power to take anything away from your mind and soul and worth.
You have nothing to hide and nothing to protect.
They will criticise you.
But now that you know you're immune, you will step out there and show us who you are.
And you will continue to do it even if you fall.
Creating, branding, sharing, and writing - it takes courage.
But you're stronger when you know you're untouchable.
What's stopping you now?
🔆
Want to make money and impact from your writing?
Get your free booklet in your inbox instantly when you join the Mastery Den newsletter here.
'16 unconventional writing tips for joining the top 1% of online writers'
🐉
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Ten behaviours that make you more mysterious
We live in a world where everyone shouts to be heard and seen. Like in any situation, there are always ways to take advantage, so everyone wins.
Going against the grain will give you momentum and is good for your mental health because you aren't competing with the masses.
Here's how to be different and nurture your air of mystery:
Be honest.
Most people jabber on about all kinds of junk, and a lot of that stuff is fabricated nonsense designed to fill awkward silences and embellish who they are.
Those who turn heads don't speak as much as most and don't reveal everything about themselves.
But when they do, it's straight honesty.
Perhaps you take the courage to share what feels uncomfortable, or you're willing to admit when you made a mistake.
This is refreshing and relieves stress because you aren't walking around trying to cover up all the lies.
Slow to reveal.
Coughing out everything about you too early will be met as one would greet a cat's hairball - indifference at best.
Create intrigue by holding back on sharing all your gripes, woes, stories and personal plans.
If others know it all, there's no more incentive to want to find out more.
Do what you actually want to do.
Most people spend their lives doing things for others instead of for themselves.
The power to conform and seek approval is strong for many. But mysterious people buck this force and follow their strange.
They listen to their inner sub-woofer and do what intrigues them.
Follow your intrigue, and you will be intriguing.
Be curious.
Finding a genuine interest in others will set you apart.
There is value here because not only will this get you valuable intel about other people, which you can learn from, but it will place the attention away from you and onto others.
This keeps people guessing while poking their curiosity about you because you never asked for it.
Know your purpose.
We don't always need a clearly verbalised life mission to act with purpose, but it might help to know what it is you are striving for.
You needn't tell people what it is, but this awareness will enliven you, infuse assertiveness into your actions, and put a sparkle in your eye.
People will wonder what you're up to and why you're not always available.
Disappear occasionally.
Colour will drain from the vision people have of you if you're always seen.
Mystery will fade if your ugly ass shows up in someone's face at 9am sharp every day.
Strategically disappear occasionally.
Make people miss you.
Have others wonder about whether they offended you a little.
When you return, your presence will be a relief and a pleasant surprise.
Be a little mischievous.
While everyone else is on their best behaviour, desperately seeking validation and obsessively focused on avoiding offending others, you're a cheeky little sprite.
This requires some finesse, but in a nutshell, it's ok to occasionally tease, use a sprinkling of light-hearted humour, and to demonstrate that you're enjoying yourself - which you are.
Let others discover you themselves.
It might strike you as a no-brainer to blurt out your recent achievements when given the opportunity, but that's too easy.
Let others learn about your little successes and talents on their own or only after light prompting.
When they do, the effect will be felt with an extra dash of electricity, and their admiration for you will jump.
Tell people something they 'don't know' about themselves.
In a similar vein to 'cold-reading,' adopt the persona of a magician with a vision and make some guesses about the kind of person you are with.
These needn't be easily verified assertions, like someone's place of birth, but rather, tell someone what you think they would enjoy that they haven't yet tried, for example.
Be unexpected.
Earlier, we spoke about occasionally disappearing.
This is an excellent example of taking a pattern of expectation others have for you (showing up every day, for example) and switching it up. Be unexpected in other areas.
You may change the way you work or dress or the types of topics you write about.
You might give someone a surprise gift who least expects it. Have fun and mix things up.
This will create a delicious air of mystery around you to which people will be inexplicably drawn.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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Ten big money remote career alternatives to having a boss (that don't take years to build)
You don't need a 'job' in the old-fashioned sense anymore.
In fact, you're generally better off these days if you secure your own income, on your terms, without being tied to any one employer.
It's riskier to rely on a single employer (job) than multiple customers or clients (your own business).
Here are some ways to make money using your knowledge, personal passions and experiences:
1. Course-creation.
Create an online program composed of written material, audio and/or videos to teach people about a specific pain point.
Courses are powerful because they can be replicated and scaled, so the income generated is theoretically unlimited.
For example, if you're good at Poker, you can teach people through an online course how to level up their game so they can make a living from playing professionally.
2. Personal coaching (+ therapy and healing).
Coaching is similar to consulting, but there is one main difference: your intention with clients is less about telling them what to do step by step.
Coaching is concerned more with encouraging the client to lead themselves via the power of their own insights.
This is why many forms of coaching are separate from a specific niche, though they can be, such as a relationship coach.
3. Marketing agency or freelancing.
Hundreds of individuals and companies need to market their products to be seen, develop relationships with customers, make money and grow.
You could provide a service as a solo practitioner or scale this support by working with a growing team in the form of an agency.
Marketing yourself as an agency also tends to attract higher fees because you're perceived as a brand rather than an individual.
4. Sponsorships and affiliate commissions.
Not every content creator needs to rely on selling direct products or services off the back of sharing value online.
If you build an engaging newsletter or podcast, for example, you can be sponsored by various companies to create income.
If you have built an audience, you can also sell the products of others and take an affiliate commission for those products you promoted to a sale.
5. Lead-generation support.
Many businesses need help finding new leads that can eventually become paying customers and clients.
Your job is to find such prospects and bring them to this client.
You bring them business, whether it be through landing page conversions, ad creation or getting on calls.
This can be lucrative because you're providing a service that translates directly to money earned.
6. Consulting.
You can consult other people and businesses on a topic if you have expertise in a specialised area.
Many people on Twitter, for example, consult others on how to grow their social media following.
Consulting means guiding people to do what you have already done.
7. Memberships.
When you make a name for yourself around a specific area of expertise, you can set up a membership model so your audience can support you.
For example, you could create content for the web around digital art and then set up a paid membership for people who want to join a community of other artists and get access to bonus membership content for a monthly fee.
8. Workshops.
You can lead a workshop or class, online or offline, in practically any area.
You can guide a group as a yoga instructor online, for example, or lead a workshop on how to be a better creative writer.
You can sell tickets via social networks, newsletters, or even cold DMs.
If you sell a $60 ticket to fifteen people twice weekly, that's a $7,200 per month business.
9. Designer.
I built a design and illustration business in my twenties with no prior qualifications.
I started by selling stock artwork online, which progressed to getting hired by clients worldwide for my designs.
Website and graphic design services are required by brands across the web.
It takes a few weeks to become skilled enough to start making money as a designer.
Once you do, start reaching out to ideal prospects and conversing about their needs.
You can also make money selling digital design assets like templates.
10. Large group coaching.
Like workshops, group coaching, or online seminars are exciting and lucrative sources of income.
Find something people need that allows you to teach or coach a large group of fifty or more people on a zoom call, for example.
I am creating a group like this to teach online writing for business growth.
This combines a cohort-based model and an online course to give students direct coaching, the accountability to do the work, a community feel, and access to online course material.
This is also highly scaleable and is providing many with a seven + figure income.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my Mastery Den newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
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Six signs you're probably going to struggle until you die
Let's jump straight in...
1. You prioritise others over your freedom.
So many people sacrifice their own joy to please others - often a partner or family member.
Yes, I get it - there are people in our lives who need support. But here's where you invite unnecessary struggle: you fail to put yourself first.
Many de-prioritise themselves, not because of circumstance, but out of choice. You can support others without eroding your freedoms and joys.
You must make non-negotiable time for your freedom.
The most selfless thing you can do is to put yourself first.
2. You lack the courage to choose one thing.
A super reliable way to ensure your life becomes harder is never to have the guts to focus intensely on one thing. Sure, enjoy novelty and try lots of stuff.
But this can't replace the need to go all-in on one thing. Write that book to completion.
Build that happy family. Learn Russian until fluent. Stop quitting businesses that needed a few more weeks of your attention.
Follow through and stop changing tracks at the first sign of discomfort.
When you stretch yourself between many things, you can't enjoy the fruits of your hard work.
3. You're immovable in your judgements.
Finding compassion for your friends and your loved ones is not hard. Finding the strength in you to empathise with someone you dislike - now that's bold, and this will lead to a long life for you.
Finding this capacity in you to be open to understanding another, no matter how angry they make you, even if they're clearly unethical, will serve YOU the most.
To hate is to live in the painful rigidity and overwhelm of strain. You make yourself weaker, clouded and less resourceful.
As Confucius said:
'If you hate a person, you are defeated by them.'
4. You expect the world to make you happy.
If you believe you're entitled to happiness, you're going to suffer.
It may seem empowering to view yourself as an elevated being who deserves all kinds of shit from others, but you ultimately lose the most.
You lose because your philosophy is enmeshed in victimhood, and your joy depends on what happens outside of your control.
You must take responsibility for it all. Only this can ensure a vibrant life.
5. You can't forgive.
Those who can't forgive - both their younger selves, or others who did them wrong - suffer until death.
If you can't find a way to understand why you did what you did, and to love who you were regardless, you'll live as a traitor in some else's body.
If you can't find a way to comprehend what others did, and see that they did what they believed was rational given their limited thinking at the time, you welcome in tragedy.
You lose, because with every day that passes, you slowly poison your mind, body and soul. This emanates from the stress and negative energy required to sustain your resistance to what is.
6. You are terrified of feeling bored.
I've discussed boredom before, and many don't get why I continue to raise this point. Boredom - that feeling of discomfort in the present moment - very often prompts people to do things that don't serve them.
They escape to porn. They over-eat. They shag twenty strangers in quick succession. They binge-watch crap on Netflix.
The most alive and productive people have found a friend in boredom. We can call her 'Lady Prickle.'
They welcome in the feeling mindfully. They find a way to bring humour. They wine and dine her until she provides gifts.
What gifts?
More energy;
Creative insight;
Enthusiasm for living,
And a trust in your inconceivable power.
🔆
Do you want to be mentally stronger than most people?
If you enjoyed this, you will love my free illustrated booklet for you:
'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
Yours free today for a short time, when you subscribe to my Substack newsletter.
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"content": "Ten things that are easy to set up that make life tenX better",
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Ten things that are easy to set up that make life tenX better
I've made many mistakes and 'wasted' large swathes of time experimenting.
But I look back with gratitude because these mistakes also pointed the way towards a handful of things that have worked well for me.
Not everything needs to be majorly complicated, and take time for it to serve us greatly.
Here are some things that are quick to put together which can make life better:
A daily writing ritual.
You needn't be a professional writer to benefit from a daily writing practice.
You can write for yourself in a journal, which is highly cathartic, and a beautiful way to record plans and memories that you can refer to as a long-term record.
You can also write and share your ideas publicly, which has been one of the best things to bring into what I do, both personally and my career.
You grow an audience, build self-confidence, learn more about yourself, create life-long connections, and hone an indestructible creativity muscle, just to name a few benefits.
Having an accountability partner to work on an energy-draining habit.
There's always that one habit we know is taking more than it gives.
It drains your energy in the long run, even if it provides brief moments of pleasure.
Committing to cutting it out of your life could be one of the best things you do for yourself all year. In fact, you know it probably is.
Finding an accountability partner keep you from slipping on the goal of abstinence is a great system for working on maintaining good habits.
Now you have skin in the game, and you're much more likely to succeed.
Work with other humans to keep your energy levels high.
A daily reading ritual.
For many, reading is either something they'd rather avoid so they can play video games or binge Netflix - or it's seen as a cheeky luxury.
But reading, especially paperback books you can touch, is an underestimated life-expansion tool.
We feel good when we read deep into a novel or a fascinating work of non-fiction.
Our minds are not passively taking in information. We are firing, creating and imagining.
Reading fuels our creativity and inspires us too.
Reading can be seen as a form of therapy that simultaneously makes you more intelligent. It's true.
So set aside non-negotiable daily reading time. String 100 days of reading together, and what do you get?
Regular sport or adventure meets.
Getting away from the desk and immersing oneself in the world of movement, adventure and play shouldn't be seen as a pleasant and occasional 'luxury.'
I believe it has a place as a regular feature in one's calendar.
Such activities get us out of overly-critical modes and into the physical mode - something our bodies can yearn for if kept indoors for too long.
Couple these adventures with some social interaction, and you've got a precious and memory-forming event that can take place regularly to give you a much-needed boost.
A newsletter.
Setting up a newsletter many years ago has been hugely valuable for me, but it's never too late to start.
Regardless of all the new platforms and technologies that have arisen over the years, sending out emails with permission still proves to be one of the best ways to grow one's business.
You can use it to sell products and services, build long-term trust in your audience, gain feedback, and impact the world.
The beauty of a newsletter is that it is under your ownership.
Platforms can come and go, but your email list is an asset you build for life - one that cannot be taken from you.
A mini-course.
Creating and selling courses are all the rage these days.
They promise a way to make money while you sleep, as long as you create something people want and figure out how to sell it.
This is absolutely all possible, and many are succeeding well with selling online courses.
Building courses can be risky and take a lot of time, so I suggest creating a mini-course before diving into something substantial.
This can be a handful of videos explaining something you can help with or even an ebook you sell through one of the many platforms that make this possible.
Create something you can sell for at least $50.
This can create a decent little income stream and gives you the confidence in selling online, so you can move on to bigger things should you want to.
I have plans for bigger ticket courses, but I'm selling a fairly basic mindset course I wrote in about a week via my Substack paid membership for $50, which brings in a few thousand a month.
Social media presence.
Social media can prompt anxiety in many, and that's understandable.
You can use so many platforms (or misuse), which can be overwhelming.
There are pros and cons. Self-awareness and using social media carefully, particularly in making an impact and growing a business, can work out well for you.
Be on several platforms - you may as well - because all bring various forms of attention that can help your brand and more. But I'd suggest honing in your focus and energy on one platform.
My platform of choice is Twitter, though this could change over time. Get great at one, and build a sizeable community there. You can meet great people this way, and your influence will rise.
It will help feed people to your newsletter, website, books, and courses.
A freebie to give away with the newsletter.
If you set out to create a newsletter, what has helped me grow my list of subscribers is providing a free gift for those who sign up.
You can also set up a simple landing page that allows people to learn more about the value of signing up for your newsletter so they can join with confidence.
It's a system I've used for years, and it's brought me over 35,000 subscribers.
You don't have to give something away in exchange for a subscription, but it can act as a powerful incentive for people who otherwise may not have followed you.
I've always given away short ebooks, though you can use whatever gift you choose, from video courses to free templates.
A great way to know that a booklet will interest prospective subscribers is to use an article that has already done well on social media.
I used a thread that went viral on Twitter for my current freebie, so I know many are interested in it.
A simple website.
A web presence outside social media is a great place to show us who you are and how you can help.
It's your central hub, which presents your personal brand to the world.
It gives you complete control over what you share, including more information you can't squeeze into a Twitter bio, for example.
You can present portfolio images, links, a contact form and so on also.
You can also have your newsletter landing page tied to your website.
This needn't be complicated, and many platforms, like Carrd.co, give you simple tools for building a simple, one-page site.
A regular mastermind.
Particularly if you work for yourself, it can be easy to drift away from society, working in your own detached bubble.
You can gain plenty of knowledge from books, courses and videos online.
But sharing ideas and gaining mentorship from living, breathing humans adds a valuable social dynamic and sense of fulfilment to the work.
There is much value in setting up a mastermind group with like-minded (ideally, more experienced people) you regularly meet up with.
I've done this, and it's helped me feel connected and provided amplified support.
Being the organiser of such a group will elevate you as a leader and connector, adding strength to your undertakings.
Right now, I make a point to organise zoom meet-ups with people, which also acts as a kind of loose mastermind with many varied minds.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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Why you find sitting down to write hard, and how to make it easier
I'm in the middle of writing my eighth book and I still don't always find it easy for the words to flow.
I can get lost staring at a blinking cursor and start incessantly sighing. I think about how hard writing is and how this project feels overwhelming.
Writing is an intellectual activity, for a large part - and requires you to transfer your thoughts to paper, making them sound interesting in the process.
It's not always easy to jump into this state.
We also get uncomfortable around uncertainty. We don't know what to write, but we also fear making a mistake and looking bad. It's our need to write something good that ironically stalls us.
These things are all holding me back from tapping away at keys.
But then I got present, and I remembered all the things that had helped me to loosen up over the years.
Here are some ideas:
Meditate for a few minutes before.
Sit somewhere free of distractions and let your observational self rise to the fore.
Follow your breath, ease your muscles, and observe your sensations. Find bliss in your erupting and cascading emotional spectrum.
You're prepping the mind and body for creativity.
After such a mindful session, you'll be less uptight and more hopeful, and you may find yourself brimming with fresh ideas.
Get your body loose and in tune.
You don't want to coincide your writing session with a crash after some heavy, sugary food.
Ideally, write as a follow-up to some outdoor movement, where you get the blood flowing and oxygen to the brain.
Stretching, offensive dancing to German techno, jumping jacks, and some yoga are great, too.
Do a brain dump.
I've often found my frustrations and doubts about my life get in the way of easing into a creative session.
I open a notebook and spew it all on the page when I am pregnant with doubt.
I'll write down my worries rather than keep them locked in my ivory fortress.
Journaling like this sets the tone for creative flexibility and clears your mind for more energising ideas.
Write first about what is on your mind.
Many of us sit down to write and wonder why we're quickly bored out of our skulls.
We're writing stuff we feel we should write, or we attempt to add to something you began writing when you were more excited about that idea. But that idea is now gone. You can return to it.
For now, write about what's been keeping you staring at the ceiling in bed.
These thoughts are close at hand and ripe like plums.
Freewrite like a reclusive maniac.
Free writing is a beautiful tool that few writers use.
Instead of staring blankly at your page or procrastinating for the eleventh time, write everything that comes to mind.
Abuse your document with a splurge of nonsensical considerations and otherwise intelligent observations.
Just let that shit flow out. After a time you may find your ideas begin to consolidate.
Your ideas are no longer the scrawlings of a madman but the seeds of something special.
Read a book.
In a world filled to the hilt with shiny, dopamine-firing distractions, I view reading books as a middle-ground activity that isn't quite fully passive.
It's creative because you need to actively transfer words into visions. And this is a great half-way house between doing nothing and writing.
Read and absorb someone else's experiences and concerns for a while.
You'll find yourself quickly inspired and ready to contribute.
Write for five minutes.
Most of our resistance is rooted to a feeling of overwhelm.
Overwhelm isn't something out there in the world.
It's self-created through the power of thought. We envision the largeness of a task and we're thrown off. You needn't take on this burden. Make your next step easy, as every step should be.
Your mission as of right now is to write for five minutes.
Nothing more. Start there. Time it.
Draw a spider diagram.
You don't need to think linearly all the time.
Maybe you suck at writing because you're thinking in one dimension.
Get a piece of paper and several colouring pencils and start mapping out your ideas from above.
Now you're a dastardly clever crow with a secret advantage:
You see how your ideas connect, and you can form new relationships with ideas that were previously too shy to meet.
🔆
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🐉
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"content": "Nine ways to bring more danger into your life so you don’t lose your spark",
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Nine ways to bring more danger into your life so you don't lose your spark
Complacency breeds danger.
In fact, our modern world is one of the most dangerous environments, not because it's dangerous, but rather, because it's too comfortable.
This softens you, loses your edge, and makes you depressed.
Deep down you know it is a sense of mild danger that brings a glint to your eye and it's something you've been missing.
Life's too short to play it safe. Here are some ideas:
Travel to a foreign city alone and spend a couple of days trying out the local foods and cafe hopping like a local.
If you're like me, you can just continue your remote work from there.
So it's not really a 'vacation' but rather a work trip. I take these all the time.
Beyond seeing somewhere new and alien, many people are straight up scared of going anywhere alone.
If you can master the skill of being ok walking into a restaurant and ordering by yourself, you can do many things.
Start a side-hustle.
I don't often advocate allowing yourself to be distracted from your main project.
It's too easy to find excuses to continually chase shiny objects and rarely get anything done.
But if you're on top of your main focus, it may serve to explore something different, whether it's a new writing project, selling t-shirts online, starting a podcast or sharing your thoughts on video, just because.
There are few cases where a side-project won't benefit the other things you're doing through a kind of osmosis and vice versa.
Book some 'far-out' class and join new people.
A few weeks ago I booked myself into a mountaineering course in Poland.
I joined a group for five days to learn how to climb mountains and ice waterfalls.
It was hard, and I felt stupid through most of it, but that's now down as a significant, and highly rewarding life memory that I'll never regret.
Identify that thing you continually berate yourself for not doing.
Something that brings you fear that you've been avoiding.
We all have that thing or two.
We avoid it because we've built it up in our heads like a frightening, distant and dark mountain.
You will make a move today in the direction of this tall peak.
You will find what it is that is a small step, and you will move in the direction of your fears.
Incorporate more social interaction into your work.
It's easy to fall into the trap - in these online days - of staying isolated and hidden.
I could spend all my time writing, but I find I need a sense of more face-to-face leadership in my work.
So I occasionally run workshops and approach people I think are out of my league for coaching.
The Internet affords all kinds of curious ways to interact and lead people. If this makes you nervous, try it.
It will be great for confidence, and good for business.
Choose some outdoors pursuit you rarely do and go do it one weekend.
Not much of a camper?
Mark a fat C on your calendar, rent a tent, and book the train to your nearest wilderness area.
Make it real in advance.
Get out there and breathe in the untouched air. Sift through the earth with your soft, keyboard fingers.
Do something that connects you with your tribal, ancestral path, with or without friends.
Lift yourself out of the mundanity of work with a 'crazy' challenge.
In the general day-to-day, we can end up doing 'just enough,' so that life feels like we're running on a hamster wheel.
Snap yourself out of it and reflect on the idea of bringing in some danger into your business life. By this I mean doing what few are doing.
What could you do that would elevate your successes above the seething masses?
What challenge could you set for yourself over the next 90 days that were you to share it, you may get laughed at?
What's an idea that sounds a little ridiculous, makes you nervous, but may just work if you could pull it off?
Locate your balls, and go there.
Go on a road trip.
I'm a fan of travel that doesn't necessarily have an end in sight. Rather, the trip is the travelling part.
There's something soul-stirring about getting yourself in motion over large expanses and seeing the land change and the weather roll through in various forms.
You needn't drive. I went on a three-hour train last week to Western Poland and I was struck how creative looking out over wheat fields made me.
Adventure isn't that dangerous, but it should feel like it's out of your comfort zone.
Pursue your most 'ridiculous' dream.
Most of us have that thing we once daydreamed about, whether writing a novel, kissing a cheerleader, or acting on a stage.
As we got older and got knocked by losses, we lost touch with those hair-raising fantasies.
You are unlikely to get another chance in the after-life, so make a step today.
Those things you think are important today will be regrets on your deathbed.
Why?
Because you denied yourself that one thing that once made your heart jump and your eyes sparkle.
🔆
Want to triple your productivity?
Join my newsletter today, and you'll get instant access to my 'Get Sh*t Done Checklist,' giving you all the tips you need to smash procrastination and revive your energy.
"Alex is a phenomenal writer. His newsletter is one of the only ones I read regularly. It's my go-to any time I need some writing or mindset advice." - Ross Harkness
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[
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"content": "What if you focused on giving instead of setting goals?",
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] |
What if you focused on giving instead of setting goals?
Maybe many of us have been misdirected over setting goals.
I want to put forward an idea that goes against my prior views quite considerably.
This is a 'putting an idea out there' article.
Not a 'this is how you should do things' article.
This article is for you and me.
It is here to invite discussion.
I want to acknowledge the possibility that setting rigid goals is not the only 'right' way of doing things and being productive.
Perhaps it is not helping us as much as we think, if at all.
One of my biggest breakthroughs over recent years is something that has helped me:
Be more at ease, calmer and happier;
Create more clients and more business;
Bring more exciting opportunities into my life;
Be more creative;
Write and create things that people love;
And much, much more!
That thing is the power of service.
Being oriented to the helping of others - to the improvement of other people's lives - particularly those people who matter the most to us.
The world is too big to cater to all. But we can be of service to those we want to include in our sphere.
Serving from a position of self-love and value and a willingness to spread that love.
When I am devoted to helping those people in my tribe, whether they be subscribers, potential clients, customers, family members, friends and collaborators, I am immediately out of painful introspection.
I am out of my head.
When someone says to you: 'get out of your head,' do not try to get out of your head.
Your best move is to direct your attention towards the people, the beauty, and the environment around you.
So by redirecting attention, service to others helps them, but it also helps you.
And when you are devoted to helping others that matter, you nurture your village; your tribe. You nurture your very support system.
You nurture you.
So what does all this have to do with setting goals?
Goals create direction. They help focus our efforts and attention to what we need to do right now. This is true.
But goals are also very often missed.
We frequently change our minds and hearts en route to the completion of a goal. Goals often make us anxious because we are not there yet. They lead us to compare our today selves to our future selves.
They put pressure on my future, and they go against the very essence of present consciousness, which I have been exploring in much more depth recently.
To be in the future is to not be here.
To be our most open and creative selves is to be conscious and aware right now.
And guess what?
All we have is right now.
You knew that.
Right now is when we are most conscious. And when we are conscious, we live in our connection to all things.
With a sense of connection, we realise one of the most gob-smacking truths: the best way to nurture ourselves is to support, lift and nourish those people and things to which we are connected.
I'm not shoo-shooing goals. They can be there to point us to our 'right now' priorities. But I want to suggest that perhaps they aren't needed if we rearrange our priority to unattached and generous giving.
Instead of focusing on goals, focus on those things you love creating right now, as a means to better serve those around us and to serve ourselves too.
This isn't about sporadically giving.
Be a whirlwind force of giving, and creating and sharing, without any attachment or expectation.
Be unreasonable in the attention you direct to your tribe.
Give so much that people start to talk, and question, and probe, and search inside themselves.
Then see what comes back and have fun with those rewards.
See how enlivening it is to be a leader who gives and supports his community and his people.
See how giving is intrinsically connected to an innate and universal drive to create, build and grow value in a way that inspires.
See how this energises you to create at a higher pace than ever before.
Continually ask yourself: 'what would I love to create right now as a means to serve those around me?'
And then you create things, one after the other, consciously. You don't procrastinate on goals you feel you should work on.
You create from joy and connection.
Your vision and intention are continually refreshed through your enthusiasm for creation. This is in a way that springs from your soul, rather than from the 'shoulds' and assumptions of goals.
See what opportunities begin to arise for you. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Now see what need you have for goals.
Generosity now, over high hopes for later.
Giving over goals.
—
Get your free illustrated booklet:
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'The 12 Habits of Mentally Strong People.'
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