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addiction | Need some sober veterans to give me some simple advice. I think I have been battling with addiction for a while now. I'm familiar with the steps and have had long periods of clean time(+3 years) and also periods of serious bingeing. When I was younger, I primarily use to do drugs, drink, and/or watch porn and masterbate(PMO) because they were fun. As I got older I began to do those same things to cope with boredom, stress, anxiety, anger, depression etc. and also to fill something up inside me. I think I have a problem. Now, when I do have addiction problems or face failures due to addiction reasons, I feel like I'm less of a person and that I don't deserve and am not worthy of some of the pleasures of life. I don't feel this way when things are going well and have been working on adopting a healthy mind set with lifestyle changes. But when these feeling do arise, I resort to drinking and PMO now.
I think I have low self-esteem. What should I do? What advice can you give me? I've read up articles about this online but I just want to hear something from someone. |
addiction | I have an addiction to strip clubs. After being hooked on strip clubs for about 16 years, as of tonight I can finally come forward and say it.
I don't go every night. But I've noticed I'm now averaging about once a month. The financial impact hasn't ruined me yet - keyword: YET - but I'm now officially worried that it could get to that point.
If I had to venture a guess, I'd say this whole addiction stems from a deep-rooted need to be wanted and desirable. Clearly the fact that I wasn't the big man on campus in my younger years in the past is screwing up my present.
That said, I've officially realized that I have a problem, and I do not want this to continue to screw up my present and subsequently ruin my future.
One big, BIG fly in the ointment: there's a strip club within walking distance of my house.
I'll take any advice, treatment suggestions, referrals, etc. at this point. I am actively choosing to NOT let this problem of mine ruin my life. I'm admitting that I have a problem. I need help. |
addiction | I’m addicted to Ativan I’m 19 and I started taking benzodiazepines when I was 14, they were prescribed for panic disorder and insomnia, which only got worse over time. I was taking Ativan as needed for 5 years, and it worked. This June my doc put me on a daily dose of klonopin, I took it everyday until August because it wasn’t as strong as I needed it to be, so he put me on Ativan, 1.5mg daily. Ive been on benzos everyday since June, and given those past years of taking it as needed, I am extremely dependant on it.
It’s the only thing that’s ever helped me, I’ve tried antidepressants, CBD, kava. Benzos are the only thing that make me feel like I can breathe. I have abused them in the past but now that I have this dependence I don’t abuse them as often, but sometimes I can’t help it and I’ll take a high dose just so I get forget the day ever happened.
So basically, I’m lost. I can’t imagine life without Ativan but it’s also controlling my life. Does anyone have advice? I’m sorry if this post is a mess, I haven’t been sleeping well and yes, im on Ativan right now. |
addiction | Neuroscience of Addiction I recently had Kent Berridge on my podcast to talk about the neuroscience of addiction, it can be viewed here: https://youtu.be/t1C5O8ubAo0 |
addiction | "Love, your son" a letter from a recovering addict with co-occuring disorders to his parents, alcoholics in need of help. Input appreciated. Already lost my sister and uncle to alcoholism, and my best friend a month ago to suicide. Can't stand to lose them too. Very emotionally exhausted at this point. The night before last having stayed up all night writing Memorial in my friends name. Then last night writing a plea, originally an email to not being able to call sometimes after a realization that saved me. It was now my duty to help save them. My dad jobless since my sister passed years ago drinking into oblivion daily, my mother the functional addict drinking to stave away the pain of all ages suffered. I, their son having struggled with chronic major depression, social/generalized anxiety disorder, and drug addiction with 9 major suicide attempts. Most recently in August. Hoping to update with more background later. Please give me the bravery and courage to help my family heal.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YG3KJ6NkMG67ahzfWWDCTYf5ltKNPUgI40r-hff6pyM/edit?usp=drivesdk |
addiction | Help? I'm a 32yo from the UK. I used cannabis daily for 12 years, sometimes heavily, sometimes very heavily. I also used synthetic weed for a couple if years, which caused me the worst problems.
I stopped the synth 18 months ago. I've used a bit of weed on and off since, maybe a bag a month, and I've stopped that too, for 2018. I'm educated, professionally pretty successful, and a homeowner and landlord. I'm experiencing on going mental health problems - I can't connect to people, I can't sleep properly. I'm constantly depressed and hopeless and I'm having a hard time going on right now. Can anyone relate or give any advice? I'm in so much pain right now. Thank you for listening, much love. H |
addiction | Books for my husband Hello reddit. Please redirect me to an appropriate sub if this post is misplaced.
My husband had just over 2yrs sober until a relapse this weekend. A collection of factors lead him to drive around until he found a dealer and purchase meth and a needle. He didn't save the guy's number, but this is the first time since we've moved to a new city that he's slipped up.
He credits NA to saving his life in the beginning of his recovery, and after our discussion has decided to go back (because it "couldn't hurt"), but doesn't feel like he's an addict, since he no longer puts meth ahead of the other factors in his life. He's also going to talk to his psych and his therapist about what happened, for the medically- and spiritually-framed advice they might have for him. -mostly his words, I'm trying to summarize.
So, I'm wondering if there's a book that would be beneficial for him to read that doesn't start out by forcing the reader to admit that he's an addict, like the basic text does. In NA, they say the only requirement to attend is a desire not to use, but to use their texts, you have to admit that your life is out of control on step 1. We're searching for tools that he can gain and use the next time he feels the way he did, in an effort to prevent this singular act from becoming a pattern.
A little more about him: He does drink occasionally. He doesn't smoke weed per his job's requirements, but likely would if it were legal. He defines himself as Christian but doesn't attend any church currently, and he practices meditation and is very interested in Yoga and eastern religions. He's in a place where he believes the conquering of his past demons (and they are many) is the appropriate next step to working on aspects himself, including his past/present drug use, but he's feeling lonely and weary and a little lost.
Thank you for your help.
I think maybe I should add, I don't agree with his assertion that he's not an addict. I fully acknowledge the chance of relapse, and did when we were married less than 1 yr ago. But I've backspaced a lot already in this post, and maybe my venting and requests for support for me should be left for another post. |
addiction | So what am I supposed to do if all my friends smoke and I'm trying to quit? It's only been about a month now since I haven't touched weed. It's honestly become a waste of my time in the past few months and I just want it to stop. It drains too much money from me, I get tired, and I just crave more. I used it as a crutch for my social anxiety but I've come to realize I can't just rely on drugs to fix my problems forever. At first it was going well, but any time I'm with my friends and they are smoking it makes me want to take just one hit again. |
addiction | Help needed with sleeping pill addiction I posted this on another subreddit but this seems more active.
This is my first time posting here and my first time talking about this to anyone. I try to put this as short as possible, but there's a lot of things I need to mention. I was sexually abused as a child by a relative, and my mother had depression and she became an alcoholic when I was bout 7. There was just the two of us, I have no siblings and my father was in the picture, but he was quite distant to me. He also did some sexually inappropriate things to me since I was 4 or something. On top of all of that, I had childhood rheumatism since I was 2 but it went away by the time I was 9. So, my childhood was never really "normal childhood". When I went to school, I was bullied by different people at different times and even sexually harassed by older boys at school when I was 14. I got depressed and didn't go to school, so I went to live with a foster family for a little while. I was 15 then, and started to smoke (topaccos) and drink. I was raped when I was 15 by this older guy and sexually taken advantage by other older guys.
At one point, I found a boyfriend with whom (and my mother) we moved to another, much bigger city. I started high school there and got all A's. I loved studying. When I turned 18 me and my boyfriend split up and just some months after that I found another guy, who was 35 years old and we started dating and soon I moved to his apartment. I finished high school and after that I got severely depressed again and started to go to a psychiatrist. Years went on, I wasn't in school. I tried to kill myself with my antidepressants several times. My partner was always there for me and my mother, who didn't drink nearly as much and she had gotten her life together, was also. I started to drink way too much, and then at some point I decided to go to a kind of rehab. I stopped drinking and found the joy of life again (for a little while). I applied to university and got to in to study my dream subject. I was sober for years and my studies went almost too well. However, I still wasn't healthy enough to study full time so luckily I got to study as slow as I wanted.I had been diagnosed as having severe depression, dependent personality, and later, after I tried suicide again about 8 years ago, my doctor diagnosed also anxiety disorder and ptsd and prescribed me benzos for my anxiety. I started using benzos everyday, at evenings to take the stress and anxieties away and I'm still using them, even though managed to decrease the amount by 1/3. I was also in therapy for five years. But I'm not writing about the benzos.
My biggest problem now is sleeping med called Zopiclone (brand names Zimovane and Imovane). I started using them also around 2010, and I also used Zolpidem a little. I got these amazing highs from these meds. It felt like my life has a purpose. That my depression, that has been with me for so long that I can remember, was vanished. Everything was so good, and I was good. Now, I still get Zopiclone (Imovane) every 30 days (I'm supposed to use it 1 per night). I still study, in fact I got my BA last year, which was huge for me. And I got an A from my thesis. My studies are going super well, I get good grades mostly but I'm still able to study on my own pace, so I study kinda slow (I try to get better all the time though, it doesn't always go as planned). I have also been cutting myself since I was a teen, but not for a long time expect last autumn I did it again. I am in therapy at the moment with another therapist.
Back to Zopiclone. Nowadays when the day comes I can buy it, I'm like child on Christmas. For the past year maybe, I've been taking 4 to even 10 pills in the evening, several hours before going to bed. They do not give me the same feeling as in the beginning, but still they do give me the sweet high, when I'm not anxious or depressed about anything. This way, the 30 pills last only a few days, and after that I get a bit more depressed than usual, because I have to wait for another month for the sweet feeling. I'm also very obese, and benzos seem to make me want to eat a lot, but the sleeping pills makes me not want to eat. Lately, I've been going to deep net in my weakest moments to see, if people sell these pills of mine there, like just before I came to write this. Yes, people sell these but the prices are way out of what I could pay. I feel bad, because I should try to get better in therapy for example, but there's no way I can tell her about this. I'm afraid I wouldn't get these pills after that. I feel like I'm trying to balance myself between the public me everyone thinks I am and between this drug addict, who might do something I'll be regretting forever. I keep fantazising, how my sleeping pills would be given to me as anxiety reliever, because that's what they do to me (even the next morning/day they seem to be working). I have never even tried cannabis/hash/whatever, even though I was offered more than once. Also, I do drink nowadays, but once a week only but too much at once though. Could anyone offer some...I don't know, help? Peer support? What on earth should I do? Sorry for the long post. I've been thinking of writing this for months. Also, English is not my native language, so sorry for any errors. Edit: Sorry, can't get bigger spaces between the paragraphs. Edit 2: I'm 35 years at the moment in case someone wonders
TL;DR Lots of trauma and shit in childhood, severe depression, self harm and suicide attempts, but been getting better little by little, until I got hooked on Zopiclone, which I now misuse. Almost want to buy more illegally. Need help.
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addiction | Looking for guidance
I'm posting this here because I don't have anyone to talk to and my life is spiralling out of control. Im 23 years old and ever since I started working at a bar where I can drink on the job, which was about 3 years ago I've ran up a $7000+ tab which is just a running joke to my friends. I joke about it but deep inside this is slowly killing me.
I've already got hypothyroidism and kidney disease, which I don't take care of. I barely take the medication prescribed for me. I've got no motivation besides sitting in bed drinking and basically doing any drug I can get my hands on.
I've moved out of my parents 2 and a half years ago, I support myself by paying for a car and rent however I'm so far in debt that I can barely afford to pay these basic necessities. I spend all my money on either booze or drugs. I tell myself no im not drinking today but when I get to work or have a day off I seem to end up getting myself piss drunk.
I dropped out of high school my last semester and still haven't gotten myself to college, I have all these dreams and aspirations buried so far deep I don't even know what I want in life anymore. Im not suicidal at all however I feel this drug and alcohol abuse is slowly killing me with my underlying conditions, and I can't control it.
In 3 months time I have to find a new place to live because my roommates are all going seperate ways when our rental contract is up. These 3 roommates are my only friends and once this is over I don't know what to do with myself. I have no other friends and it seems my only choice is to move back to my parents.
I'm hiding all this behind a fake smile, I don't know who to talk to or what to do anymore with my life I have absolutely no motivation. I'm posting here in hopes of finding some sort of guidance on steps to get help. I'm sorry if this is the wrong spot to post this but I really don't know what to do or who to talk to about this. |
addiction | website blocker help Hello peeps,
I'm having a hard time with a misc addiction I have related to porn. I'm trying to find a website blocker but I can always seem to uninstall or somehow bypass it since I'm pretty proficient in computers. I was wondering if anyone else has any ideas on how to block a website where I have 0 way to get rid of it when my addiction acts up? at least until I can get some sobriety in this area. |
addiction | I Made a Big Mistake While Trying to Cope with Depression, and Now I'm Getting Thrown Out of School I've been dealing with generalized anxiety & depression for about 7 years now-- probably more-- the feelings go back almost as far as I can remember. I've been seeing a psychiatrist and a few different therapists for about 4 years. Medication like SSRI's only cause my depression to manifest itself into a dull, constant boredom instead of a deep constant sadness; and therapy has only provided some moderate help with my underlying issues.
This has always been an issue for me, but I've always found ways to move forward. Even when my hobbies lose everything about them that makes them enjoyable, even when I can't get out of bed in the morning, even when I feel soul-crushingly lonely, I've always been able to get myself through the day hoping tomorrow would be better.
I feel like it might be important to note that I'm an experienced meditator as well, I've been meditating for 25 minutes a day for several years. Meditation has helped me much more than anything else I've tried for depression and anxiety, but perhaps I'm digressing from the point of this post.
Anyway,
Ever since my depression started in high school, I've looked to self-medication for relief. I started smoking weed because I didn't like how I felt so bored all the time, and slowly started smoking every day. I moved to xanax, then opiates, and ended up struggling with roxycontin for about 6 months. My friends were not positive influences on me at all, and many of my closest friends in high school eventually went on to use heroin and go into lengthy rehab programs. Being able to see my friends struggle with heroin was what made me finally kick opiates, I saw their lives falling apart and I never wanted it to happen to me.
After I kicked roxy, I still found that I was trying to fill some hole that was inside of me. I moved on to other drugs instead of opiates (particularly LSD) and although I was proud of myself for getting off the "hard stuff", taking hallucinogens on the reg was still not good for me. I was able to cut down my LSD usage, and that's when I discovered the beauty of microdosing.
I would take 40ug's before class every few days, It improved my mood to a significant degree that I never thought to be possible. I was attending classes, doing my work, making meaningful relationships. After I had some time to accept my problems and work on improving myself, I finally was able to get off of antidepressants. They were horrible-- the withdrawals, the numbness, the sexual indifference-- I just wanted to leave that all behind me and work on myself through meditation and therapy. After a couple weeks of being off of depression meds, I was able to stop taking LSD so frequently. It was a major crutch for me, and although it DID help my situation, I decided it was best to leave the trips for special occasions and move on with my problems naturally.
I would order tabs online and save them for a special time, and trip maybe once a month or less. I was feeling even better, and eventually was able to quit smoking weed.
After being completely sober for 4 days in a row for the first time in over year, I was feeling amazing. My motivation was high, and I was optimistic about the future. But that's when It all started falling to shit.
I had ordered tabs about a month and a half before the "incident", and after noticing that they had gotten taken by customs, I realized that ordering this shit offline was seriously risky and not worth it at all. Without my knowledge, a reshippment was issued to my billing address at my university, so when I found it in my mailbox i was pretty surprised. I took it into my apartment and put it somewhere safe, and did not use any nor was planning on using it anytime soon (granted, I did not want to throw them out because, to me, the tabs represented a lot of money that I didn't feel right about getting rid of just yet).
After the aforementioned 4 days of sobriety (with the tabs j chillin' in my apartment) I received a call from my school's campus security asking me to come in to talk about a crime I was a potential witness to. I couldn't get out of the meeting, so before work, I took the bus to campus to see the officer who called me. After he met me at the door, he led me into a room with two federal agents waiting for me.
They had the package that was seized, and long story short, I was not under arrest, but they needed my cooperation in taking down the lab that I bought from. I worked with them and called my attorney, but when they asked me if I had gotten a reshipment I hesitated and they then assumed that I had substances in my apartment. and after being threatened with a federal search warrant, I signed a consent to search form because I didn't want my housemate to get involved in this and hate me forever.
Campus security along with the Fed's escorted me to my apartment and had me place my package into an evidence bag. I was still not under arrest, but now the university was aware of my situation.
As of now, I'm awaiting a hearing with my school, and I'm facing a year-long suspension along with several other repercussions. I'm so afraid that my education is going to be jeopardized, I had aspirations of attending Law School, but with this on my record, I'm finding it very hard to believe that I'd get into a valid program. On top of that, I'm about to lose my support network of friends who have empowered me to quit using drugs and have shown me how to enjoy life only to go home to a town where I have nothing and nobody. I'm terrified of falling back into a rut where I use substances to relieve my pain, and it's so unfortunate that something like this happened just as I was beginning to fully sober up for the first time in a significantly long while.
I'm at a total loss right now, I have no idea what to do and I'm finding it impossible to get my mind off the situation. If anybody has any advice, stories, comments, questions, etc. please post them, this is one of the most difficult times ive ever had to get through. Thanks.
TL;DR-- Microdosing LSD has helped me immensely with my depression, but now my uni knows that I bought it online, and is trying to hit me with a year-long suspension and drug rehabilitation program. Nobody got hurt, nobody else was involved, but I need help moving forward with my mental and educational situations. |
addiction | My Poem
I’m 21 days clean
And I am only eighteen
Until now I thought “I should be dead”
I was thirteen
And thought “I hate nicotine”
Now it’s the only thing that keeps me looking ahead
I was seventeen
a job or weed was what I was between
I turned into a pot head
I am eighteen
And I’m 21 days clean
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addiction | Length of kratom withdrawals So let me give some background info. Im 19 y/o, 6'2 140 lbs. I was doing heroin for a while knowing I had a problem I couldn't stop. Finally got on Suboxone, then after a while it stopped working (I think) so I quit Suboxone and went to kratom. Mainly for the fact that I'd rather go through intense short withdrawals then protracted Suboxone withdrawals. Ive been taking 2 grams 3-4 times a day. My main question is how long does kratom withdrawal last (approximately) and how would one compare it to Suboxone or opiate withdrawals? Thanks to anyone who can help. |
addiction | cant stop thinking about pills, only 16 oxycodone and pretty much any other pain killer never leaves my mind. ive been to rehab and had a relapse pretty quickly. im 16 and i think ive pretty much fucked my life up. i cant stop shaking and im not myself without them. ive been staying off of them but is there anything else i should do to help with this? |
addiction | Help with addiction to kratom and klonopin Unlike a lot of people I am not addicted to drugs that I buy illegally but the drugs I use medically. Kratom has taken over my life and I take it 4 times a day, it’s not severe but I can’t even cut down my use and I take it more to get high than for pain. I’ve been prescribed klonopin for years and I’ve become very dependent sometimes even exceeding my daily dose. I don’t want to be addicted to these things but it’s like impossible for me to even do a taper, I feel like I don’t have the willpower to reduce my dose, which is unfortunately my only choice because I actually need these medications for pain and panic attacks/ptsd/severe anxiety. Obviously my tolerance has gotten quite high. I’m not looking to completely quit but does anyone have any suggestions on how to really do a taper and stick to it? I tried quitting kratom and got through 5 days no withdrawal or anything but severe pain but as soon as I had access to it again I started taking it again and was soon back to a high dose. Advice is appreciated. |
addiction | Boyfriend found out I relapsed, which I hid, now he's playing mind games I had a hard time describing my issue in the title..
My boyfriend of 2 years knows that I am on methadone and have a history of opiate abuse. Mostly stems from depression and anxiety and just getting in the wrong crowd at the wrong time.
I was clean for a while before I met him and for about a year and a half after meeting I was as well. About half a year ago I started going through a really horrible time mentally. I used heroin 5 to 7 times over that period whenever I was crazy sad and angry. I stopped and haven't used in the past 2 months. A couple of weeks ago I let my boyfriend use my phone and he came across some messages from my dealer at the time.
He got really upset, we didn't talk for a week. It seemed like he hated me for it. And then a week later suddenly he wants to come over and acts super duper nice and sweet. Tells me him being nice doesn't mean he's forgiven me. I understand that and take it for what it is. I told him I will do urine drug tests for him and signed up to see an addiction psychotherapist to hopefully fix what's been broken. All is good, then after a few days he sends me texts saying he doesn't trust me and dissapears again..ignores every attempt I make at talking to him. I know for a fact once the weekend comes around he will suddenly want to see me again and be nice. (He does this when he's mad at me..ghosts me then comes back around)
I don't know what to say to him. I told him I can't stand these mind games. I understand he's angry but I don't think it's fair for him to keep me thinking he's feeling one way and then keeps turning it around. It fucks with my emotions because I'm happy he's talking to me and then super sad, and then happy, then sad. It's not a healthy cycle. I texted him saying that but still nothing.
I don't know..should I just let this run its course? I honestly don't think this is a healthy way of dealing with the situation though. It's really hard on me. I wish he would either tell me he doesn't want me in his life or decide he does and work through it with me. This back and forth bullshit just fucks with me emotionally.
Tldr; Boyfriend found out I relapsed because my depression was really bad. Got angry and ignored me for a week. Then suddenly appeared again and was super nice and sweet. Now he's angry again and ignoring me completely. He will for sure start being nice again because he's done it before. I can't stand the back and forth emotional rollercoaster. I'm happy he's in my life, then sad, then happy, then sad. It's too hard on me and don't know what to do or say. |
addiction | I am addicted to Coke [16] Normally I don’t buy it for home nor drink it at restaurants (I want to taste the food) but I was on vacation and there was free soda and I drinked it and justified it as holiday prize.
Today I drank a liter of coke because they gave it with my pizza (I eat fast-food on occasion). I regretted while gulping each oZ of it but couldn’t stop drinking it.
I have smoked with my friends (tobacco not weed) but didn’t get addicted (The last time I smoke was summer).
This shit is underrated for being addictive. How can I quit this?
Note: I am not addicted to caffeine because I already drink 3-4 cups of coffee everyday. |
addiction | Addicted to electronics and entertainment. Playing PS4 and watching tv is literally all I want to do, and it’s interrupting my life a lot I’m 16, and my sleep schedule is completely ruined. And I feel tired all the time because of how late I’ve been sleeping recently.
I usually stay up until about 1-3am every night watching Netflix or playing PS4. It’s making me tired as shit, but every night I just go back to doing it, and I can’t help it.
Also, I’m always late for stuff because every spare moment I get, I’m playing video games or watching something on my phone.
It’s sort of controlling my life at the moment, but because I have nothing else to do, it seems impossible to stop.
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addiction | What to do when you’re Addicted to Your Ex? My on-and-off girlfriend is just as addictive and bad as crystal Meth.
How to you’ll cut someone off?
My friend say this:
https://youtu.be/3r7cZaPb97I |
addiction | Am I an alcoholic? When I first started drinking in college, I liked to think that I could handle it pretty well. However, as drinking became more and more common within my friend group and I turned 21, I feel like problems have arisen.
I have never, ever felt addicted to alcohol. I can easily go a week without drinking, nor do I feel an urge to drink everyday. In fact, I usually only drink on the weekends socially. However, I can never seem to accurately judge my tolerance. I have nights where I can have 5 drinks and overall be okay, and other nights where I have 5 drinks and end up blacking out.
I feel as though I black out easily and it terrifies me. I have had probably more than 10 instances where I got way too drunk and ended up not remembering anything. I've blacked out and had no memory of how I got home, what I said, or what I did. Every time I black out, I feel extremely embarrassed and worried/guilty that I may have said or done something bad. I've gotten violent while blackout and had no memory of it. I've been sexually assaulted while blackout drunk and falling asleep. Now, last night, I yet again blacked out. I lost my phone and woke up on the couch with vomit around me. My friend showed me a video of myself from last night where I was blackout drunk singing in a cab. I have no memory of it, and seeing myself on video like that freaked me out so much. I looked so out of it. So lost and so drunk. I cried because of how disturbed I was at how out of it I looked on the video.
When I drink at home, I'm usually able to stop at 2 or 3 drinks and just enjoy a nice buzz. But when I go out is when issues seem to arise and I never know how much I can tolerate. I might think I'm doing fine, but then I overdo it and end up blacking out. I'm so tired of this and I feel terrified that one day something really bad could happen. But I so enjoy those nights where I don't overdo it and just enjoy a nice buzz. I don't know what to do, what to label myself, or how to go from here.
I could never tell my family I blacked out and lost my phone, they would definitely think I'm an alcoholic because they don't really drink. I'm going to have to lie to them and tell them it was stolen. I'm so ashamed. My friends don't think I have a problem and just tell me to drink less, but I really am scared of how often I wake up with no memory of the previous night. Please help me. |
addiction | Idk what this sub is but I'm just realizing I have a substance problem. Idk I'm not gonna give a story but I just can't stay sober to save my life. It has ruined relationships and is starting to really effect my overall Outlook on life. I tried to quit everything and was fine till tonight when I got offered coke and just couldn't say no. I guess I'm looking for support somewhere and am just starting here. I'm sorry if this isn't what/ how I'm supposed to be posting but I'm just at whits end with everything. Thank you in advance. |
addiction | Adderall addiction I was introduced to adderall in 2012 and shortly after I was hooked. I’m a musician and I used it to practice. It only took a few months before I was taking it just to sit around and feel good. I’m 6’4 and around 220, and at my worst I was taking 120mg+ a day. My prescription (2x30mg a day)would last about 2 weeks and Im sure I was in withdrawal until my next script was ready to fill. This went on for 3 years until I got dropped from my parents insurance (turned 26). Because of this addiction, I started to resent my music making. The adderall would help me practice but I ended up being so stressed about trying to be perfect (something that is impossible for musicians). Since I was dropped from my parents insurance, I’ve been doing pretty well with adderall. I’ve got some friends who have prescriptions and I’ll ask them for one or two so I can practice for a concert or what not. My problem is that once it’s in my system, I just want more and more and I won’t stop until I’ve got more. Honestly I’m surprised I haven’t had a heart attack because of it. I used to be really successful and I had a promising future. I’ve had a bit of a relapse recently. I couldn’t control myself. It was 1, and then 2, and then before I knew it, 6. What the fuck is wrong with me? I never thought I would be an addict and yet, here I am. I want my life back under my control. It is nothing but a double edged sword. I want to be successful, and yet I feel like I need adderall to get anything done. Has anyone else felt this way? If so, please let me know what you’ve done to escape this awful drug.
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addiction | Need help learning how to help friend who is out of control Hey Reddit, I'm here to see if anyone would have any pointers on how to help a friend of mine who is spiraling out of control..if this is the wrong subreddit to post on I apologize.
Here is a rundown of his situation:
- He's on probation for possession of Marijuana
- He has a child on the way and is currently not in a relationship with the mother
- He's an alcoholic (I think, although I guess it could be worse)
- He can't seem to ever go 24 hours without some type of drug use
- He has a decent job and a place to live (family) but he intends to move out because they keep fighting
Yesterday I took him to the ER because he was unresponsive (took a bunch of Xanax and drank excessively), he was fine and got discharged about 10 hours later. Today he begged me to take him to get alcohol to which I refused and he started calling rehab centers (not even sure if he's serious but I hope he is) but they refused to admit him because he doesn't live in the same county they are located. He plans on moving out today but he has nowhere to go, he refuses to stay with me and thinks he's going to be okay sleeping on the streets in 20 degree weather.
My questions are what can I do as his friend to help? I'm not familiar with what options he has besides rehab or just going to jail. He doesn't have any type of insurance so I'm not even sure if he could go to rehab. We're from Michigan if that helps anyone...if any other information would be helpful just let me know and I appreciate anything that would give me an idea of what I can do to prevent my friend from completely destroying his life or killing himself. |
addiction | The Haven: 18+ Mental Health Peer Support Discord Chat Hi guys, we run a mental health chatroom on Discord for people 18+. All diagnoses are welcome. This is a first person group, so you need to be the person with a disorder to participate. To join visit our site www.thehavensupport.com. We believe we are stronger together, which is why peer support is so helpful and important. Care when you need it; care for others when you can.
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addiction | Hi, I'm Gaia Kymicsu (22F) of the band "SuFai Tonno Inseparabile Findus Marina Blu". I was addicted to a specific premade sim. I think I might still be addicted to it, but less. I always get thoughts about her but know I can't install any of the sims games. I don't really want to draw or fic her either, I just have wacky fantasies about them. I was so addicted to them that I vandalized its sims wiki page. What do?
this is the premade sim i was addicted to: http://sims.wikia.com/wiki/Susan_Wainwright
this is my official blog and my tumblr to get more context:
http://www.ncls.it/g/archives/tag/susan-wainwright
http://adorkable-child.tumblr.com/
I even helped make a song about how I'm stopping being obsessed by it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbRyJLP_0_c |
addiction | 100% of the outcomes in my life is my decisions I don’t feel sad, most the time I don’t feel anything at all but I have daily thoughts of deep loathing and anxiety. Like things I need to do and get done and hating myself for not getting them done and not doing this and that and then the cycle repeats. I’ve been this way the past year. I hate it bc I was doing awesome building my life up and being healthy until I was using cocaine and alcohol weekly. When I started, I wasn’t using that often, maybe once a month, I used to network at events and drink there. Its now gotten out of control and every time I drink even one drink, I crave cocaine.
I want to do things but find myself hiding in my house all day, unable to even go to work most the time. It’s ruining my life and I’m sick of it. I need help but I don’t know how to change. The guilt of how my self control has worsened and the lies I’ve told everyone just makes me feel like a piece of shit and really I’m a loser who doesn’t deserve success or happiness.
I plan to take a few sleeping pills tonight and crash early so I can head to the gym. I’m planning on changing my friends and avoiding people who drink. I really need some help and I’m very unhappy with myself, I hope I can change. It’s going to be a lot of work but one step at a time.
I caused my own depression by my choices. |
addiction | Suboxone treatment ? I just enrolled into a 6 week program that includes suboxone treatment as well as group therapy 3x a week. Curious on anyone's thoughts about suboxone, everything online is pretty 50/50.
One one hand I'd like to just stay strong without another drug... on the other hand I'd really like to start feeling normal again and I know this could be a few months yet.
10ish years of opiate abuse. |
addiction | Need help identifying pipe What is [this](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1-bKiK8CuzYNuHj0cjSsO4YgiBcft7jEe)
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addiction | My good friend had a great story of addiction, and overcoming it. I think some of you may find something to connect with. Ok, so I will pre-face this it is an episode released on my podcast,
It is not meant as a promotion, I've just gotten a lot of good response through addicts that it was an inspiring story and hopefully relevant to whomever ever would like to listen.
If you feel this is a promotion feel free to down vote away.
It would just make me happy knowing one person found good in this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyBH3vv7FWg |
addiction | Advice needed young addict So this post will probably get a lot of hate but hey everybody gets lost in life at some point. I'm 14 turning 15 in March it started with the normal codeine/hydros around 13 heavily into benzos still to this day. (Thanks dnm) if tried everything at this point yea that includes meth I know terrible, back to the main point of this post the h started around 3 months ago I introduced myself to it but be assured plenty of d boys and meth dealers don't care how old you are. What I'm wondering is how hard withdraws will be, I'm dropped out of school so Im home 24/7 been using about a .3 to a half gram a day. What would happen if I overdosed as I'm not 18 would I be places on a hold? I've gone thru the benzo withdraw before clam,etiz,diclaz,alp not a drug I can say I haven't done. How hard will this smack be to quit? Yes this is depressing I know but if I'm gonna ask for help from anybody it's from here. |
addiction | My friend passed away from mental illness. I decided to create a free community on Slack for anyone looking for support! Our goal is to create a tight-knit community so you can get support and meet friends! You can join here https://18percent.org/ |
addiction | my sister passed last month. Toxicology just came back... dolopin(sp?) and fentanyl. did she die peacefully? sorry if this doesnt belong here... please suggest where it can go. we talked everyday on the phone.. she was in full time post secondary and had a full time job. she seemed totally fine. i guess i didnt know her as well as i thought. i only knew she smoked weed.
if there is anyone here who has done these drugs that can tell me how they make you feel? or what an overdose would feel like? I'm just wondering how she would have felt in her last moments..... regardless of good or bad. thanks in advance.
edit: mobile |
addiction | Anyone read "The Stoned Philosopher: A Journey Through Addiction" by C Alan Taylor? Just finished. Lots of metaphors, and I had heard that there are many hidden elements incorporated by the author. |
addiction | Trying to make meaningful differences. I am a psychology student and I am trying to make meaningful changes for groups of people who were likely disadvantaged due to childhood experiences. If you have about 10 minutes to complete my survey, your contribution would be extremely appreciated.
The link to take the survey is: https://goo.gl/forms/DLM0ZFxqRYvboijG2 |
addiction | Service dogs for addicts, opinions? I have a boyfriend is who is has been sober for over a year and he wants to give back and help addicts recover. I work in the veterinary field and want to help dogs who are at shelters find homes so we're thinking of creating a program to connect emotional support dogs with addixts, obviously not as the only tool but as another aid because dogs can keep a person busy, have unconditional love and empathy. But I wanted the opinion of other addicts if this something that would be a good idea. |
addiction | I can't ever be 100% sober. If it's not pills....it's drugs..if it's not drugs...it's alcohol..if it's not alcohol it's sex. I'm 45, and I feel like there's no hope. Anyone else have the same issue? Btw - Rehab is a joke. I have been to many without success. Not saying they don't work. They do work with ppl who are group-thinkers. I'm too independent in my mind and I can't be swayed to think a certain way. |
addiction | Need some help. I can't manage to stay clear. I'm always complicating things and controlling my emotions. I'm addicted to control. Does anyone have some experience on this? |
addiction | Relapsed after almost one year sober. Fuck, do I feel like a fucking failure. |
addiction | I have an incredibly bratty and stupid addiction that I've had since I was 10. Which is stealing gum... But I have a legitimate stealing problem. Specifically, I can't stop taking gum from my mom's purse without her permission. I'm not sure why I do this nor why I only steal HER gum but I know it's a problem. It's almost like an impulse where as soon as I know she has gum, I'll wake up literally at 3 a.m. when everyone is asleep and I'll sneak into whichever room her purse is, and take gum. It's even worse because I have no self-control when it comes to gum, and I might even be addicted. I find it difficult not to spend money on buying a gum pack every chance I get. The problem is that I down 60-piece packs of gum in literally a few hours. I'll be chewing 20 pieces of gum so big that my jaw hurts and I rarely throw them away until they've melted in my mouth or I can replace them with a new piece of gum. Anyways, back to stealing. I won't stop for whatever reason... Every time I stop, I end up doing it again in a few weeks. I couldn't even have been smart enough about it that I take only 3 pieces so she doesn't notice. I'll just literally either stuff my mouth with gum or I'll keep sneaking back every 15 minutes to get a new piece of gum. I can't even stand having only one piece of gum in my mouth. It has to be two pieces. That is all. Hope it doesn't change your opinion of me... I am going to vow to stop stealing her gum and I'll make a concentrated effort to avoid being near her purse.
**TD;LR: I have been stealing gum from my mom for years and I can't stop, I'll often eat gum like 20 pieces at a time or within an hour and I also find it hard to resist buying gum every time I have a chance to.** |
addiction | I Just Want It To Be Over Ive been dealing with a pretty bad cocaine addiction now for almost 7 months. From July of last year to November i was buying roughly 3 to 400 dollars worth a week. then i started dating the girl ive always wanted that november. i stayed off it for about a month but then the second i was around it i really dove right back in. now im back at it and i just want to be done with it. just wanted to share. |
addiction | 705 days and still misery. So, I quit nicotine after twenty plus years 705 days ago tonight. And guess what: the sharp painful physical craving is gone, but I still want it every day: every workday at lunch, I go to the gas station for the paper and some gum and I stand there looking at the Marlboro lights, or the snus, and just think: I really really want that. Go to the drugstore and I look at the lozenges or nicotine gum like I'm seeing an old girlfriend.
Almost two years and no respite. I'm really considering buying some lozenges. |
addiction | Anxiety and the need of an addiction Just to start, I have bad HPPD, post trauma and social anxiety. It started with a bad Salvia trip at age 15. I thought I died and it gives me horrible anxiety. I started using psychedelics a lot which fucked with it. I developed bad social anxiety around age 16 but kept using drugs. I developed HPPD after I used a bunch of research chemicals and LSD for a while. It still effects me, and it makes my anxiety so much worse. I started using benzos and opiates to cope with it around age 17.
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I started pain pills at 17. Stopped the pills, but then went onto Benzos for a year. Stopped the Benzos after an overdose, stayed clean for about 10 months, then relapsed on Opiates. Been clean for 15 days but I just started smoking again.
I feel like I need to hold onto something that makes me feel different and forget about this stuff. I tried for so long to help my problems with downers, to the point where I didn't even feel like I was alive. Just anything to stop the racing thoughts and pain. It's too much for my mind to handle sometimes. I don't know what to do, I just feel like I am a failure at this game of life. Most people around me have their lives figured out, but I am sitting here thinking about how to stay clean for another day.
I feel like I need downers because my heart is going to explode out of my chest just being in any place with people. Even when I am alone I just keep thinking about what will happen tomorrow, or what will these people think about me, or if my hallucinations with give me depersonalization and ill freak out again and people will think i am a crazy person.
When I am high on opiates and benzos, I feel on top of everything. Like I am just where I need to be; peaceful, no worries. Like I don't even have HPPD and I don't need to think about anything; it just happens naturally, like it should. I know thats not the way I am. That is not me, that is the drug controlling me, changing me, which is scary to think about. I have tried for so long to change the way I feel.
Please let me know what you think about all of this,
Daniel. |
addiction | I am losing hope. 6 months ago I went to a private (and pricey) treatment centre. After spending tens of thousands of dollars of my own money for two months I fear it was a waste.I have yet to experience anything close to the joy I had when I was using....I am a 29 year old female slim 5'4 and for about 3 years I spiralled into a habit of drinking at least a 26 of grey goose every day along with god knows how much cocaine. I was on the verge of death entering detox at the treatment facility. I am losing faith. I fear the worst. |
addiction | Love letter on coke I’m sorry I did something stupid. I feel worse that I wasted your time trying to help me. I didn’t listen to u and I’m sorry. I’m so mad at myself because I was clean for 17 days and I actually thought that I might stop. Now I’m lying in this cold room alone at 3am listening to the clock ticking in sync with my heartbeat. With every tick 2 heartbeats squeeze through. I want to do more to make this feeling stop and to make this message erase itself but I know I’ll only feel worse than I do now. Don’t stay if u just pity me. 7 years I’ve spent with u and will continue to love u unconditionally |
addiction | 20, young dumb n broke My coke addiction is ruining my life. I do it once/twice a week spending 80-160$ on it between my boyfriend and I. He wants to quit doing it as well but my influence isn’t helping either of us. Please don’t tell me two coke heads are bad for each other because I already know that but he is the love of my life and I’m not losing him over drugs, if we fight this addiction we will do it together.. I hope. Any who, I’m missing work because I feel depressed and don’t want to see people or get out of bed. Like today for example (I last did it 2 days ago) but it takes me days to fully recover, to feel normal again and when I finally do feel ok I’m ready to do the stupid cycle all over again, forgetting completely about the feeling I have now, maybe not truly forgetting more so just not caring. Life should be good for me I recently got accepted into college, I have a caring family. My boyfriend says he loves me unconditionally. The only thing wrong is drugs, god I hate them so much they have taken over my life, they have made me only feel confident in myself when I’m on them, they have made me think no one can love me unless I’m on them, they have ruined me, I have ruined me but for some reason I won’t quit. Any advice? I don’t know where else to turn too, and recently found out about reddit.. |
addiction | Advice cocaine Hi guys , first post but i feel i need some advice.
I was clean for about 3 years , ( I used speed , XTC , weed and some cocaine when i was a bit younger )
Since a few weeks i have been using cocaine again. When I'm at work i really crave the rush and the pumped up feeling.
I don't have any financial issues because of it but i feel a bit guilty towards my fiance , she knows i use cocaine but i lie about the amount that i use.
I do not want to stop , but i want it to stay "healthy"
Thank you |
addiction | My drug I know that this may seem like I could get over it quickly, but I'm addicted to video games and it's affecting my life. I am closer to my online friends than any real life friend I have ever had. I barely talk to my real life friends these days and video games are preventing me from finding new hobbies that can be a future job. A typical day would be: come home from school and then play 7 hours of video games. My grades are going down and I feel helpless. I can't get video games out of my head. It is my drug. Can I get some suggestions to get over it? |
addiction | Does the cycle ever end? A little background information:
Drug Use/Mental Health:
I(19M) started drinking and smoking cigarettes when I was 11, and I started smoking pot at 12. All of my life I remember being extremely unhappy, for reasons unbeknownst to me. I was just constantly bored in school. The course material in classes have always been a joke to me, taking little effort to do well. Of course, when junior high rolls around I made some friends that were into percs and xans. I started to take those in the back of classrooms with my little squad of fools. After class, we'd of course just go rail adderall in the bathroom, pretty much creating a speedball effect. So I was really young to be using that many drugs, and I went a little crazy and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a couple weeks. That was when I was 14 after my freshman year of high school. Even with all the drug use I still maintained a 4.0 GPA my freshman year, so of course when I got out of the hospital I saw no real reason to stop. My parents drug tested me for a time so I couldn't really use, until they stopped testing me towards the end of my sophomore year. I immediately started using again and even got addicted to spice(wtf) for a period, along with the usual heavy pill use and smoking. The beginning of my junior year, I was told I need to go to counselor and make some scheduling changes due to some of the courses I was enrolled in being cancelled by the school. When I got to her office, she informed me that because of the HS credits I got in junior high I could graduate that year with honors and even a semester of college done. So I changed my schedule for that, eager to leave home and make it on my own. You see the drugs have never changed my motivation, even to this day. At the same time I made the decision to leave early I made some alphabay orders on the deep web, and bought 25i-nbome(psychedelic, very similar to LSD to an untrained user, is dosed onto blotter paper just like acid is, except it's much cheaper). The price was $40 dollars a sheet(a sheet is 100 hits). I loved LSD, I had not done the nbome yet, but had read great things, so I eagerly ordered two sheets with my business partner. In our area that was dry of psychedelics, we had no problem selling 10 strips to pot dealers at $80, a price that they eagerly accepted considering the lack of acid like drugs in the region. So we were selling $4 worth of the shit for $80. Life was pretty good at the time if you haven't put that together by now. We stopped buying sheets, and started buying pages. We had set up connections to push our shit in lots of nearby towns and the money was coming all directions. We also had 1000s of stockpile hits of acid, so of course I was taking like 5 hits a day. Fast-forward - shit gets hot as hell with the police and I decide to quit dealing before I inevitably got popped. I graduated that year at 17, summa cum laude. I noticed that I was hearing things that others were not, and that I felt the constant presence of people behind me, even when no one was there. I became paranoid and my eating habits got shitty. I became thin as hell. My hair grew to a Legolas-like length. OF COURSE, no one in my life notices anything is wrong. For whatever reason, whatever I do just ends in getting praised for being so smart or handsome. Paranoia and hallucinations that led to weight loss(I was already skinny before), weren't met with concerns, just people telling me I should be a high fashion model with cheekbones and hair like that. I smile when people say that. On the inside I'm trying to build up the courage to ask for help. When people see you as person with the whole world in front of them, they think you're bitching if you have any issues. So I continue on like everything is okay. And eventually I get myself clean for the first year of college, but trying this on my own, I crumble and start using again. I've been at college for two years now. And have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I'll be graduating a semester or two early. Last semester I didn't Dean's List. I didn't put enough effort in, funnily enough it was the same effort I always put in. I realized I'm not a fucking mastermind like I thought. And that I'm an irresponsible idiot who just gets high as fuck all day and scrapes by. I always get myself clean for a period and then fucking start getting high and blowing my money on designer clothes and partying, andddd somehow I end up back in the psychiatric hospital. I just wanna be fucking normal like fuckin' a' man will I ever be able to beat this shit? Is it just ingrained in me at this point? I've never had any real consequences and I fear that in coming years that everything around me will crumble to the ground :/ I'm pretty sure I'll kill myself or be dead in the next three years anyway. I'm such a fucking waste of potential. I became a Mensa International member at 12 only to be a 19 year old who looks like a blend of Legolas and a soundcloud rapper, and can't even formulate a proper sentence because the language center in his brain is fucking fried from drug use. LOL FUCK ME
Does this ever end? Will I ever grow up and successfully complete treatment and get my fucking shit together? |
addiction | I have an entertainment/music addiction I recently got an iPad which I use for school and recreation which has facilitated my addiction.
Whenever I'm watching a YouTube video, I go through the suggested videos on the side and open the ones I like in a new tab, and then I watch the original video, go to the next few videos I opened previously, and the cycle repeats.
The process also occurs when I'm listening to music and I listen to another piece from the same singer or band.
It just ends up turning into a long cycle that ends up in me never finishing. I'll spend hours opening new tabs and listening to songs or watching videos.
Any tips |
addiction | trying to beat my first relapse First time poster. Going through a 4 month relapse on oxy after being clean for a little over three years. Went to treatment in 2014 after being addicted to opiates for around three years. My wife was pregnant at the time with our first child and had no idea she had married an addict. She stood by me while I went through rehab and things have been going great until four months ago. My old dealer ended up coming into my place of business and I ended up giving him my phone number. I have been using ever since, roughly 90mg of oxy per day for the last four months or so. I snorted my last 90mg Sunday before noon. I had a 8mg sub that I took yesterday morning. I was having major anxiety on the way home from work yesterday about going into wd's over night so I stopped and bought some kratom on the way home. I have dabbled with kratom the past couple months when my dealer was out. I know its just trading one substance for another and after reading the sub on wd's I'm scared of getting hooked on it as well. There is no way in hell I can go through WD's without something to ease them. I have obligations to my job and more importantly to my wife and now 3 year old son. My plans are to use kratom sparingly until this Friday. By then the elimidrol I ordered will be in and hopefully that can help. My dealer texted me today to let me know he had some and I basically told him I was done fore a while. I feel fine today but I know that's probally still from the 8mg sub I took yesterday morning. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading. |
addiction | Question as a non-addict I found out my friend has been using heroin and meth. She’s been sober for 8 years and has recently relapsed 5-6 months ago. I found out a month ago and she was sober for a month and then found out she’s been using meth again for a week now. However what’s scary (and something I’ve never seen her go through) is she is in like this state of paranoia/psychosis. She thinks people are in the attic, she thinks people are following her around and switching cars to trick her, she thinks people are waiting for her outside her window at night to arrest or kidnap her. It’s actually quite terrifying as this is completely out of character. She is also a grad student and somehow has maintained her 4.0 gpa and will be graduating (hopefully) in May. It’s such a weird thing to consider rehab or an intervention when I feel like we’d be throwing away her 7 years of hard work in school right before the finish line. What should I do ? What should my next step be? She admittedly needs help but adamantly doesn’t want it... |
addiction | Best approach to help my brothers relapse (I'm mad and hurt) My brother just had a week long relapse. The worst he's had in about 2 years. (He's had addiction problems for a decade) He's had small one time/one pill relapses a couple times but this was the longest in a while.
He used to be far far worse. Adultry... emptying bank accounts and leaving his wife to fend for herself and thier kids while he was in the military. He's not that guy anymore but still has these moments.
He's my best friend, co-worker and I was soon to move in with his family as we embarked on trying to start a business together. (He already agreed long ago to never being allowed access business money)
Then out of nowhere this past week happened. Im normally just glad to see it's nothing major and I give in to him not going back to AA or rehab or counseling. It's been a while since he's done any of that anyway. I guess I'm torn between...do I expect him to be perfect for the rest of his life or should I expect a few bumps in the road? I want to support him and be encouraging but I'm also furious at what he puts our 70 year old mother through when he does this. And how he can easily lie to my face every time about it. I don't know where to draw the line between supportive love and just straight tough love.
I'd really like to have a sit down with my family and some sort of counselor or therapist to let everyone have a turn to speak and establish some sort of game plan for supporting him. Would this be a good idea? And help would be much appreciated
Also as of a few hours ago he sounded not fucked up and claims he's coming down off whatever he took last night. So there's at least an opening for dialogue at the moment. |
addiction | After a 13 year Opiate addiction, I am officially 2 years clean and sober. Ask me how. I've seen many posts that people have written showing much similarity in the things I have been through during my time as an addict.
Instead of replying to every thread separately, I figured I'd make a new thread and combine all questions and answers into one.
If you're new to wanting to get sober or looking for answers, please ask. I been up and I've been down. Two years sober and looking to pay it forward.
Dave.
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addiction | What are you addicted to, and why do you think you are addicted to it? As the title says.
This is for a school project, any answers are very much appreciated. |
addiction | Looking for a better future Hey there. I'm new to reddit and I just stumbled onto this , I'm only 19 but the past year has been the worst of my life. Binge drinking along with a lot of cocaine, it seems like the only time I am enjoying myself is when I'm alone in my room or with others just chugging beers and snorting away until the comedown, drink .. repeat.. until I run out of money.. sometimes I have to go steal food just to make it by. I'm a hard worker at my job, but when I'm home alone I can't help but think how nice it would be to have some beer , or a gram of white, sometimes I buy a ball (3.5grams) and 50 beers and just think to myself how great the next 3 days will be.. how do I fill this gap? I feel so alone. Plenty of people want me to stop, but why should I? I want a good future .. this is holding me back .. suicide is often running through my mind, but I know I can do better then this. Hopefully someone can give me some advice or past stories of addiction, or even current, we're all in this together . Can't wait to hear from you all. |
addiction | Sue the drug companies I read an article yesterday about some states suing the pharmaceutical companies for the burden put on taxpayers for the massive opioid addiction. My first thought was “what about the people who are addicted?” The drug companies had to know opioids were highly addictive when they created the drug, yet doctors were handing them out like candy. It’s my opinion that the companies and the government knew the toll it would take on society, but chose profits over human lives.
I am not an addict, but I am the widow of someone who was. He was in his thirties when he became addicted to opioids from a back injury. He was a sweet, gentle man who worked hard to take care of his family, and I loved him dearly; however, my love was not enough to save him. He died alone in a hotel while away on a job. Cause of death? Huffing computer duster. The opioids had him and would not turn loose. I’m guessing he did not want the shame of asking for pain killers so he turned to huffing.
The point of my post is when are the drug companies going to be held accountable for this epidemic and chaos they have caused? Because you see...I am their victim too. His death crippled me. I am the devastation left behind from the greed of these companies. |
addiction | From addiction to recovery TL;DR I've done a moderate amount of drugs, trying to stay sober now.
It's slightly amusing to see how many "users" are online. With the ice breaker outta the way I'll start my story.
Today seems like a brighter day. Last night I finished off a pint of heineken and smoked the rest of my weed. Decided for the thousandth time I'm calling it quits. I'm going to really miss smoking weed but it's for the best. Alcohol is the worst though.
Experimented with harder drugs in my youth but never had a direct line to anything. Tried some shit my friend concocted from the anarchist handbook, pretty sure it was ether because I was a rambling idiot that couldn't shut up. Anyways, joined the military at 22 and got out at 28, had enough of that shit so all I did was drink and smoke cigarettes. Btw I was never a good smoker I could make a pack last a week, sometimes a fortnight. After I got out of the military I quit smoking cigs in 2012. Temporarily tried that synthetic shit you can buy in headshops when I got out but it's garbage, really regret trying that shit. Recently had a medical scare, still scared about my physical state. I go more in-dept on r/dying if interested.
I met this friend though craigslist a few years back and we hung out a lot getting fucked up and playing Metal music together. But he turned out to be a real scumfuck and a bum so I've pretty much cut ties with him. But he did help hook me up through some cool people that I can still get in contact with, just a mutual dealer type of thing. I know I'll be very tempted to get in contact with them in a few days because withdraws really hit me. But I feel like I have a reason to live longer now than I have before, so really trying to stay clean.
I'm considering this day 1 of my recovery. Feb 7th, 2018. It's not that I want to stay sober but I need to for health reason. Detoxing my body by following online guides. |
addiction | Am I addicted to Kratom? How should I get off this shit? So I have a serious problem with kratom, a legal drug that feels just like opiates. I decided recently that I need to quit ASAP. I’m playing with fire here; addiction is a slippery slope to some real suffering. What I’d like to know is whether physical addiction has already begun to take hold on me, or if it is just my mind playing tricks. This will inform how I will go about getting off the junk.
Some details:
Towards the beginning of September, I started using kratom on weekends. I would always take 6 grams, which is the high end of common. It’s the maximum dose recommended for pain management in the completely opiate naive, but lower than what a full blown addict takes. I steadily began using more and more during the week, and by the end of December, I was using everyday. Since then, so for a little over a month, I’ve been taking 6 gram per day, a couple hours before bed. But even after all this time, I still don’t have any noticeable tolerance; 6 grams is still plenty.
Here’s the reason why I think I may be physically addicted. Although I feel completely normal and healthy during the day, at night I get very uncomfortable and anxious until I take some kratom. The other night I forced myself to skip it and I felt empty and depressed. Furthermore, I was irritable the entire next day. I’m not getting any stomach cramps, nausea, or diarrhea, which I know are some hallmarks of opiate withdrawal. However, I did have a runny nose today, and since my dose it has dried up. (This may just be a coincidence though. My roommate has a cold that I’m probably just catching...)
So my question is do I have mild physical dependence or am I just severely psychologically addicted. If it is physical, I think I will let myself ween of it gradually. If not, I will go cold turkey.
What do you guys think? Should I ween of either way? Cold turkey either way? I’d love some guidance here. This is very difficult for me, and I can’t really talk about it with anyone... thanks in advance |
addiction | I deleted my dealer's number. Turns out, cocaine isn't just a party drug for me, and having a dealer's number just increases my usage. I went from a half graham bi-weekly to right now, 4-5 grahams a week. It was very quickly going to start taking over my life.
Today leaving work, I deleted the number, the call history, the screenshot of the number from the first time I "deleted" the number, and the Telegram thread where my friend messaged me the number.
I have no more access to him. I'm scared, but I'm feeling good. |
addiction | Deleteing blocking and unfriending people Jist makes me anxious whem i know the decision will keep me away from a certain people i dont wanna be around no more |
addiction | Not so much a major addiction but something I am seeking help with and don't really know the correct place to post. I am a 30 year old hetrosexual man with a few bisexual kinks but I am comfortable in my sexuality to know that these are only kinks and not needs. I have a wife, who I absolutely adore and love and am extremely sexually attracted to. She is also very aware of what I talk about above and has no issue with it. The real reason I am posting this, is because I want to be less of a "pervert" in a sense. I would never dream of cheating on my wife, not just because of moral reasons but because I truthfully don't want to. I do however have a major attraction to what an average person may call odd fetishes. Nothing horrible or illegal, no one gets hurt or forced to do anything against their will. The fetishes that I like would all be found on all common porn sites, youporn, xhamster etc but I suppose they would be very specific in terms of categories i.e. Cuckold, voyeur and such, basically not you basic lesbian or normal sex catagories. I also have a thing for sex/adult stores, I get a rush when I am in them. This is really the reason I am here. I want to cut this sort of behaviour out. Those stores are filled with "dirty old men" and I don't want to be one of those. I tell myself that I will not go into them but I get caught in the moment and the excitement just takes over and then when I leave, I am filled with disgust in myself. My real question is, what are some actual techniques that I could use to stop myself for this "sleazy" kind of behaviour. I know that this may seem tame to some of you but it is something that I would like to put behind me and I also know that my wife would most likely not have an issue with this but it is something I want to get a handle on for my own sanity. I also am a writer and I try to be as focused as I can with my work but I find more often than not, things like this behaviour gets in the way. Please reserve judgment, all and any advice is helpful. |
addiction | Consequences of getting help, will I lose my son? Hi guys. I really need some help regarding this.
I’m a 25 year old male with a pain-killer addiction, the addiction started around 4 years ago. The drug I am addicted to is Dihydrocodeine and also Codeine. These are of course opiate-based pain meds. I have never took anything else other than those two drugs. The amount I take per day varies on how many I can get hold of, I wouldn’t hesitate to take 20 30mg dihydrocodeine tablets a day if I could.
I really, really want help. My life is falling apart, I’ve lost my job, I don’t blame the pills fully for it but they had a massive part to play. I know I’d be a better and stronger person without this putrid addiction in my life. I would love nothing more than to wake up and not have to worry about getting my pills.
I’ve tried going cold turkey but needless to say this failed, the longest I lasted was 6 days and I have never felt so sick and defeated in my life. My main issue with getting help through the NHS is that I have a son who’s a toddler, he stays with me a few nights a week (not with his Mum anymore) - I limit the amount of pills I take when he’s in my care, I take enough to function but not so many that I’m in another planet because my son means absolutely everything to me, he’s the only positive I have in my life, the thought of never being able to see him is excruciating and it would end me. It would hurt him as well as I can tell he really loves and adores me. So I don’t want to get help for them to take his details, alert social work/health visitors etc and for us to be separated because of this. Do you know what I mean?
Can anyone shed any light as to how the process would work? I know what I need to do in terms of going to my doctor but will admitting to this pain killer addiction strike up some sort of red flag and will authorities intervene with me and my son? I know everyone must say it but I’m really not a bad Dad, I’ve provided for him since he was born, I have a savings account purely for him and his Mum, so I can continue to provide, I feed, wash, clothe him and most importantly give him all the love and attention in the world. But I don’t want to be seen as an addict who is incapable of taking care of him, will this happen?
Sorry for the length of this message. I’m really desperate for help. Thank you. |
addiction | How about addiction to reddit? Ive never been so addicted to a website in my life. I use Facebook to message a few certain people and interact with auction pages with others in my area from time to time. Other than that all I do is branch around the Internet from this place. I’m horrifically addicted. Anyone else? I have other addictions as well so I know that I’m just prone to that in general but reddit? Holy shit it might be stealing my life a bit. I give myself a lot of excuses to be on here. My job is a security type so I can speak hours upon hours on here at it and be paid for it. It makes me feel like I’m winning somehow but how? I’m not doing shit really? Just know the topical meme and news bullshit...what is that doing for me? Nothing. This is becoming a rant so I’ll just end it here. |
addiction | My boyfriend of over a year has a severe anime/manga addiction, resorts to stealing, I don't know what to do anymore Let me start off by saying, I will not leave him. I love him. He is sweet, funny, and kind, I want to help him. When we first started dating, I knew he liked to collect things, but I didn't know how bad it was until I moved in a little past our six month mark. Everytime he would talk about buying more anime, I felt bad for being judgemental or voicing how he shouldn't spend so much. I thought I was just being bitter or hateful initially. However, it's only gotten worse and worse. Imagine living in a room jam packed with over 110 different anime on dvd/vhs, and over 2,000 manga (Japanese comics for those who aren't familiar with them) which have to be stored on invidiual shelves or else my boyfriend will get mad and upset. He will not allow any of his collections to touch the floor, or be placed in boxes or storage. He won't let anything sit on top of his comic books. He won't let them sit in the car seat. I have to carry them during car rides when he buys more.
My boyfriend is nearly thirty years old, yet he doesn't want to invest money in a newer car, our house, or preparing for our future. We've gotten a new place and will be adding a roommate, yet his main concern is where his manga and anime will be. He wants to jam pack our new, even smaller bedroom with his 10 different bookshelves, with the intention of adding more and more. We struggle sometimes with me working an almost minimum wage job and him working minimum wage, yet he has seriously uttered the sentence, "Manga is more important than food."
If his day is bad, he heads straight to the bookstore, and gets something without fail. However, his desire for more anime is not inhibited by money in the slightest. He started stealing awhile back to fuel the addiction, from several different stores. I've warned him not to, and to be more careful, yet he continues to steal. He's been caught once trying to switch store tags on items, and ended up returning to the store to try again afterwards despite my constant harping of, "NO, NO NO!" Once, he dashed through a crowded shopping center with an armful of stolen anime merchandise. I'm the only one- to his knowledge-who is aware that he steals. No one else knows about this except a friend I confided in. He tells people he buys things, when they are stolen.
He doesn't think he has an issue. None of his friends do either. They laugh and joke and all have fun regarding his massive collection. They don't have to see the bad side of it. They don't see my boyfriend saving copious amounts of hentai and cheating on me with people who look more like his anime fantasy. They don't see him ignoring me to watch anime for hours or spending hours 'organizing the collection'. I poked him in the leg to tell him something funny while he was organizing his comics and he slapped me on the arm for interrupting. I felt worthless in that moment. 90% of what he talks about is anime and manga. Which I don't have an issue with. Letting it become his whole life is the problem.
Anime used to be a special interest and a source of passion for me. I still like it, but I know it is ruining my relationship. My boyfriend will get mad if you even waste one bite of food off a plate and will lick a plate clean in a restaurant- calls me wasteful if I can't eat every bite- yet spends 300-400$ on anime related things during Christmas alone. He works all during the week and has used up all his days off to go to abime conventions and events, so he won't go to therapy because he says it's a waste of a day off.
It's so frustrating, bevause I love him. I don't love this. |
addiction | Maybe it's God, maybe I'm starting be able to control my addiction So I'm a coke head, trying to recover. I was at a party where I ended up doing line after line and also got 2 grams to take home. That was Sunday night, haven't touched it since. That's mainly because my toilet has been busted since then too and when I do blow I drink a shit ton of water and piss a lot. So I've been holding off until it's fixed because I don't wanna piss in my shower more than I absolutely have to.
Don't know why I wanted to share that on this thread, but there it is. |
addiction | Screen or Digital Addiction? Hoping to shed light on this vital topic, working with a major cable network producing a documentary on digital / process addictions be it porn, gaming, gambling, social media, etc. and seeking those willing to share their stories and interested in working with an expert to get help / assistance, please message me. Thank you! |
addiction | How do I know my friend is an addict? So last new years right when it turned into 2017-2018 my good friend Sasha came into town and I hadn't seen her in two years because she had moved to Colorado. I am not going to lie though growing up Sasha and I would smoke pot occasionally so I already knew she liked to smoke weed every now and than which was really no big deal because she was a 'responsible stoner'. So back to new years, well it was 2017-2018 new years and I hadn't seen her in two years and she was apparently in town but wasn't picking up her phone or answering Facebook but she did get to hangout with my friend Max. I was on Maxs Snapchat story and saw that he was with her and that they were hanging out for new years. Which made me super jealous so the next day I contacted Max about what was up and why he didn't invite me over. He ended up confessing to me that he didn't want to invite me because all Sasha would talk about was cocaine. He would try interjecting and discussing something else like college but no Sasha wanted to talk about coke. He told me that it was just very weird and something was very off with her ending our conversation with "I don't know man some people just change.."
What do I do since Sasha is notorious for not picking up her phone or going on Facebook. When we would hang out she would always contact me last minute because she was awful at planning things out. |
addiction | Is it possible to stay sober/clean without AA/NA? My psychiatrist doesn't think so Really dislike AA/NA. What I dislike about it doesn't matter as much at this point, but my reasons are petty really, and probably one of my character defetcts - I hate preachy people and I hate people who complain about stupid shit.
Anyway, is this really the only way for a life of sobriety to take place?
If so, I'll do it, I'll go more than my current twice a week. But I'll use or buy drugs before or after a meeting, never being high in the meeting itself, so not sure I'm working it correctly, anyway.
I can stay clean 3-4 months on my own at a clip (making rehab somewhat useless imo), but then i get the usual, eh, I'm fine let me take a Xanax or 20 and you know the rest, a week or two later I'm coming out of a hazy coke binge. I'm on Suboxone, otherwise it'd be a heroin binge ( thank you Suboxone).
Other than an overdose, yes I almost died and that didn't stop me, consequences have been relatively light. Came damn near close to losing my 150k+ a year job, something I value dearly and succeed at when clean, but fail miserably at when high. Reading emails I sent high makes me cringe, ouch. And now that I'm in a position of relative authority makes it even more cringey, my poor subordinates :(. O, and my fiance who I love and she loves me dearly is just distraught over the whole thing, has affected our relationship to say the least, which I value zero when I'm high and 100% when I'm clean, sending terrible signals to her.
What do I do all? |
addiction | My dad and talking about his problem. A little back story, my dad is addicted to alcohol , he doesn't drink too much because of my mums influence but he grabs every chance and excuse he gets to grab a drink. Theres often times that he asks me to get beer or any other form of alcohol and when i say no or stay silent he gets annoyed and angrily says nevermind.
He and my mum went to a professional and talked about his problem and there was progress, he admitted he has a problem but eventually stopped working on it.
What is the best way to talk to someone like this, and tell him you are uncomfortable with what he asks without him getting angry?
I don't want to be someone who helps to get him things and when he doesn't get what he wants he tends to play a victim and making me and most likely my mum feel guilty. |
addiction | Pain Management I got a firsthand taste of what addiction was. I did choose to take these things and I strongly felt that if I didn't I would be in more pain than I could bear. Over 10 years of pain pills and being addicted without really knowing what addiction truly is.
Everything IS about these little yellow oval pills that run my life.
The way I feel when taking them is great. It enabled me to function in my day to day life, but my world still revolved around these yellow oval pills. I always make sure I had enough if I was going to go someplace for any extended period. My decision to go places revolved around when my doctor’s appointments are. When my refills can be picked up and other little factors that made my life revolve around something I felt I had to have.
Everything IS about these little yellow oval pills that run my life.
I am counting pills daily making sure I didn’t take too many. I would get depressed if I took too many one day and had to cut back another. I felt I was going to have a bad day so therefore I did. It is a vicious cycle of take my pills, feel good for a little while and over do whatever it is I am doing. When you do this, you get into this mentality and feeling that you can take more pills to offset the pain you are going to be in and you just keep over doing it.
Everything IS about these little yellow oval pills that run my life.
Mow the grass. Take a pill. Clean the house. Take a pill. Work on my car. Take 2 pills. Hate doing that shit. But I am thinking you get the idea at this point.
Everything IS about these little yellow oval pills that run my life.
I don’t know what finally made me say fuck it I am not doing this anymore. But one morning I woke up and decided my life was not going to be ran by these little yellow bastards anymore. Don't get me wrong I still have back issues and some days are better than others.
Everything IS about these little yellow oval pills that run my life.
In July of 2017 I made a wise but hard decision and gave up pain management for my back. What does this mean exactly? I went from taking 6 Hydrocodone 10/325 a day or Percocet or whatever pain medication I got that month to absolutely nothing. I tried to taper off but every time I would get to feeling bad I would take a half a pill or something just trying to stretch out my last few pills.
Everything IS about these little yellow oval pills that run my life.
I finally ran out.
Everything WAS about these little yellow oval pills that DID run my life.
Hell part 2 started. This is where I now know how people that go through withdrawal feel. There are no words that can describe what this feels like. Have you ever had your nerve endings feel like they are on fire all over your body? Restless legs, lack of sleep, nausea, sweats, cold sweats, hot flash's. Worse of all no one mentions the pain. Not just physical either.
Everything WAS about these little yellow oval pills that DID run my life.
Mental pain was the worst. For days all I could think about was how can I get some more pills. What if I did this or that? But that is not what I was really wanting. I wanted it all to just end. I wanted those addicting chemicals out of my brain. I wanted the shit out of my body. I was tired of feeling controlled by a little yellow pill.
Everything WAS about these little yellow oval pills that DID run my life.
It was after about seven days when I finally realized I was going to be able to make it. Seven days of hell. Very little sleep and some alcohol when the times got too bad. Many breakdowns due to emotional swings. But I finally realized. I AM GOING TO BE OKAY. Back still hurts sometimes but I know my limits. You know what?
I CONTROL MY LIFE!
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addiction | Any dopamine 'experts' that can explain me the damage I have done? So I have been abusing methylphenidate for a few years on and off. Never thought it would become a problem. What it does is basically increasing the transmission of dopamine by blocking things (inhibitors?) that regulate the release of the stuff. I snorted it for a few months straight. But now I have quit that and only take it orally in large doses varying up to 150mg daily. I have made a rather drastic decision of asking my friend to tell my mom that i have been abusing it if I ever do it again which would definitaly root out the issue since my mom wouldnt allow me to touch it by probably hiding it. What I'm wondering is the long term consequences of my idiotic habit. How long will it take for my brain to recover from the wiring of only seeking this drug to satisfy the daily dopamine release? Have I increased my chances of self induced psychosis? When will the cravings go away? Thanks in advance. |
addiction | 6 months clean from Benzodiazepines, Phenibut, alcohol, “research chemicals (evil)” If I can do it, ANYONE can! 🧡 Benzodiazepines absolutely took over my life for about 2 years. Evil stuff. I emphasize with anyone suffering with Benzo / Phenibut addiction. It sneaks up on you, changes you completely while giving the illusion that “all is well”
Life is so much better free from those hellish chains
Feel free to ask me any questions. I was in a personal hell for many years |
addiction | What do you want to know about alcohol addiction? I'm currently working on an article about alcoholism. I'm scheduled to interview someone who is in recovery. I'm trying to come up with good questions, but I want to ask things that most people want to know about or would find interesting. If you've never been addicted to something, what would you like to know about addiction? What's something you've wondered about being an alcoholic that you have never been able to ask? |
addiction | Currently feeling withdrawal symptoms from energy drink addiction And I’m considering relapsing on purpose to feel better. This is a really really important days of my life, I want to pass this driving school. But I can’t seem to focus, I feel so disconnected to the world. And I just can’t. I have to pass this, failing is not an option. But it takes me too long to actually comprehend the questions. I have to read a lot of times to understand them. It’s pissing me off and I’m thinking this might be withdrawal. It’s been a while, maybe around 2 weeks since I last drink energy drink. But I’m scared that relapsing might make it worse |
addiction | Any Recommendations On How to Quit Drinking All Together? Hi Guys and Girls,
I am a responsible financial professional in investment banking, former military, and college graduate. I have been drinking heavily for over 10 years. I have always been in good shape and work out regularly but in 2016 I had a serious shoulder surgery and couldn't exercise so I gained a lot of weight and still drank the way I do without exercise (not that that matters). I am 30 years old and in in the same year I had a liver scan and was told I have fatty liver. It was a wake up call and I lost a ton of weight and am back in good shape. As a disabled veteran of foreign war I have to regularly go to the VA on an annual basis. This year, the doctor seriously recommended that I give up drinking all together. My doctor also pointed out that he's never seen someone with fatty liver at my age. I have a drink at least 4 days a week, and at least 2 days a week I binge drink. I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic but I would say I drink way too frequently. I am a very social person with many friends and I work in downtown SF so there's always something to do and it typically involves going out drinking. My liver has taken on too heavy of a loud for my age. I want to stop drinking but I have been unsuccessful. I value my life and anyone here knows that it's easier said than done to give up substances. Is there anyone with experience, who has changed their lifestyle and either given up drinking all together, or agrees to only have a drink on truly special occasions? If so, can you recommend anything to me on how to do this and how to choose life over alcohol? I would sincerely appreciate any advice at all. Again I'm not to the point where my daily life is affected, but I am to the point where it is started to affect my health and I know I need to change.
Thank you. |
addiction | I want to hear from The person that no longer has any addiction problems.
I keep replacing one substance for another, over and over.
Pills
Alcohol
Back to pills
A pill to come off the pills
Now Kratom
And of course cigarettes
I want to be clean. No sorta clean. Not "well this is better than that" clean.
Clean clean.
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addiction | How do we break the policy isolation of the big giant addiction closed meeting? ✌️✌️✌️THE ADDICTION POLICY FORUM ACCEPTING OPIOID MONEY MEANS LITTLE TO THOSE OUTSIDE THE ADVOCACY BUBBLE✌️✌️✌️
Most people outside of the “recovery bubble” care little about addiction and/or the “epidemic” until it hits them in the face. We spend most of our time preaching to the choir. Our rallies and our conferences and our events are made up of “all of us” and our “treatment allies”. Our celebrity advocates are all people in Recovery. All our public actions are like big giant “closed” meetings.
On the other end of the spectrum: The AIDS movement made progress when people not directly impacted by AIDS (example—celebrities like Princess Diana) became compassionately involved.
We separate ourselves from the rest of humanity by the way we talk (“addictive thinking”, “normies”, “earth people”, “one of us”, etc...). We put our selves in a separate box. Our secret knowledge and the knowledge of our secrets.
Addiction thrives as we isolate ourselves. Our “public health response” to this epidemic has failed miserably but nothing changes because the general public could care less.... until it hits them in the face. Then they come into our bubble and join the isolation.
We will never move the needle on stigma reduction, policy change, practice change etc... until the everyday person out there supports our cause.
How do we bridge the gap?
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addiction | Clonazolam - how many days How many days do you have to do Clonazolam in a row to get addicted? |
addiction | Wellfair... Hey everybody...
I just want to say i hope your all okay?
Having been an addict, and also still struggling with some of my demons. I understand addiction sucks.. REALLY sucks....
Just wanting to wish everyone all the best with their recovery...
"Try" and have a nice day.
Peace, love & unity.
xoxox
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addiction | I was clean since October then caved and fucked it all up I can't cope with the depression. I caved when some girls I know invited me out, did lines and sake bombs, some girl took me home nad had unprotected sex, never got her name or number so let's hope i'm clean
I was doing good and I threw months of success away. I feel totally useless |
addiction | I hate that addiction is so misunderstood I feel as if people just think addicts are a waste of a human being and nothing you say or do can make them think otherwise. It’s sad really. |
addiction | Why the Disease Definition of Addiction Does Far More Harm Than Good I read this article on salon's website, it got me thinking is addiction really a disease?? |
addiction | Does anyone have information on the health effects of extreme (100+ drinks per week) alcohol abuse? One of my closest friends is a severe alcoholic. He drinks over 100 drinks a week on average. His tolerance for alcohol is so high he needs that much just to get a buzz. Shockingly he is able to work (an unskilled job), drive, and maintain a a social life. He's been drinking this way for over five years, and has been a heavy drinker since he was a teenager.
Does anyone have any literature on the health effects of drinking at this level? I can't find much that talks about people that drink more than 5 drinks a day. Thank you. |
addiction | Any wisdom concerning staying sober? For pretty much the entire first half of my 20's I have used drugs and it has stripped a lot of oppurtunities away from me that I have a chance at getting back. Apart from marijuana (to help treat my bipolar and, yes, my doctors are involved) and alcohol (debatably not great for me on account that I have to take a lot of medication), I pretty much haven't touched drugs in about a year and a half. I thoroughly enjoy my sobriety, I have people that love me and I love them back, and I also believe in myself. I also have a strong relationship with my higher power. The worst thing I can think, however, is that I'm done learning.
I've decided to move cities to get away from the drugs in my hometown, but I've realized the crux of my problem lies in the fact that I have bipolar and every so often my mind takes me to some pretty dark places. I also have a troublesome knack for finding drugs pretty much wherever I am. Any sort of wisdom or input would be appreciated.
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addiction | Addicted to online political activism any advice ? It started as me exposing the trump movement now it's a full blown 2 minutes hate I can't take this anymore this is slowly destroying me inside.
I think I am just simply motivated by fear since he's so unpredictable. Another thing is I don't even live in America.
PLEASE HELP! |
addiction | Is it time for rehabilitation... I don’t know who to talk to. I’m almost 25 years old, flunked out of college after thousands of dollars wasted over the course of three years. Never been able to hold a job. Lost my rent house because of that and now I’m in debt by thousands of dollars.
The longest I’ve gone without getting drunk for the last 8 years is probably about a week. Now I’m getting drunk almost every night. And from there leads to my nastiest habit. Cocaine. Almost always in large amounts, which leads to me constantly owing money to people.
I have a bad adderall/vyvanse habit also (used to be really bad, lost 40 lbs in one semester) which eventually led to me trying meth multiple times. I’ve been abusing MDMA sporadically for the past two years, sometimes almost every week for a month. With all this stimulant use comes the crash. I’ve never been one for opiates, but benzodiazepines are what I use for dealing with the comedowns.. it’s been a never ending cycle replacing one drug with another.
I make an ass of myself all the time, always get told I’m annoying, have NEVER been able to date someone for longer than a few months. (They almost always back out as soon as they get to know who I really am)
I live back at home with my parents and I’m ashamed of it. I lie to them all the time now, I make promises I never keep and it’s tearing me up. I get told to grow the fuck up all the time. I just lost my job last week and have done nothing but get absolutely messed up for the past 9 days. Not to mention almost every paycheck went to my bar tab and drugs. My family just keeps telling me to quit being lazy and do something with my life. I don’t know why I keep fucking everything up. I feel like my life is at a dead end and everything I do just seems to dig a deeper hole. How I still haven’t been to jail is beyond me.
One of my friends passed away this past Christmas Eve from an overdose. Two other people I was becoming friends with have died in the past couple years from this shit too. I don’t want to lose someone else, and I don’t want my family to lose me. I don’t know who to talk to... |
addiction | Android Parental Controls loophole I have the LG V20 with android software. I make a password for the parental controls, but then can just go to data in the app settings, delete the data, and the password is gone. It does not ask for the password to the parental controls. No password needed.
This is my phone and I am putting on parental controls so I am not tempted to download apps like Instagram and snapchat. I got a sexting/M addiction.
I have willpower but its comforting and helps to know that even if I wanted to, I cannot get access to social media on my cell phone.
Anyone know how to fix this loophole or have any tips on how to wall downloading apps off?
TL;DR: I need to be steered away from triggers from social media and blocked from downloading apps on an android phone. |
addiction | How long does it usually take to get your life back to normal after heroin addiction? I know it isn't something that happens overnight, but I feel like i'm still struggling with adapting to normal human life. I last used in october, being clean 8 months prior to that.
It seems like it's going so slowly. It's already February and I haven't made any art or music since I quit. I haven't been interested in doing anything, or seeing anyone.
The only good thing I can say is that I've managed to wake up around the same time and take better care of myself, my apartment and my cat. But I still wake up every day in pain, wondering why I still get up every day. I can't hold down a job, and the things I used to love no longer appeal to me.
Is this going to last forever? I feel like I broke my brain. :- ( |
addiction | Papers on internet addiction physically altering the brain [J] tag indicates post links to a paper published in a medical journal.
Cell phones physically alter the brain of phone addicts and nonaddicts. Substantially more alteration of brains of addicts. Brain imaging of nonaddictive phone users are in the Brain Zapping: Biomarkers: Imaging wiki in /r/electromagnetics.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Electromagnetics/comments/528l1e/wiki_brain_zapping_biomarkers_neuroimaging/
**Brain Imaging of Phone Addicts**
[J] [Addiction: Phone] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] Altered brain activity and the effect of personality traits in excessive smartphone use during facial emotion processing (2017)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jdiz0/j_addiction_phone_addiction_brain_imaging_altered/
[J] [Addiction: Phone] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] Alterations in White Matter Integrity in Young Adults with Smartphone Dependence (2017)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jdhjk/j_addiction_phone_addiction_brain_imaging/
[J] [Addiction: Phone] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] Altered Gray Matter Volume and White Matter Integrity in College Students with Mobile Phone Dependence (2016)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jdgul/j_addiction_phone_addiction_brain_imaging_altered/
[J] [Addiction: Phone] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] Alterations in White Matter Integrity in Young Adults with Smartphone Dependence (2017)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jdhjk/j_addiction_phone_addiction_brain_imaging/
**Brain Imaging of Gaming Addicts**
[J] [Addiction: Gaming] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] Comparison of Electroencephalography (EEG) Coherence between Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) without Comorbidity and MDD Comorbid with Internet Gaming Disorder. (2017)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jdbcg/j_addiction_gaming_addiction_brain_imaging/
[J] [Addiction: Gaming] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] Diffusion tensor imaging of the structural integrity of white matter correlates with impulsivity in adolescents with internet gaming disorder (2017)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jdawz/j_addiction_gaming_addiction_brain_imaging/
[J] [Addiction: Gaming] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] An Update Overview on Brain Imaging Studies of Internet Gaming Disorder (2017)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jdanl/j_addiction_gaming_addiction_brain_imaging_an/
[J] [Addiction: Gaming] [Addiction: Brain Imaging] Comparison of QEEG Findings between Adolescents with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) without Comorbidity and ADHD Comorbid with Internet Gaming Disorder. (2017)
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/7jda7v/j_addiction_gaming_addiction_brain_imaging/
**Brain Imaging of digital TV Addicts**
[J] [Addiction: Entertainment] More time spent in front of the TV, the thicker the frontal lobe region of their brains developed and lowered verbal IQ...The hypothalamus, septum, sensory motor region, and visual cortex were enlarged processing emotional responses, arousal, aggression, and vision.
https://www.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/58zbtz/j_addiction_entertainment_more_time_spent_in/
[J] [Addiction: Digital Video] The impact of television viewing on brain structures: cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses.
https://np.reddit.com/r/phoneaddiction/comments/66lm6w/j_addiction_digital_video_the_impact_of/
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addiction | Kratom Addiction Anyone else here addicted to kratom. I use kratom and now ritalin daily with cbd. I am scared of living without. |
addiction | Partner with caffeine addiction I'm not sure what to do any more. In the past before we ever met, he had a drug addiction which eventually moved to alcohol, then cigarettes and now energy drink. When he was working crazy hours, he needed them to function in his day to day job and now that he's without work, he's still downing an awful amount of caffeine to avoid smoking, or worse. It keeps him awake all night and then he'll sleep throughout the day and it's been impacting me severely since I'll be worrying and having trouble sleeping, and he gets depressed over his inability to quit. Any advice would be really helpful right now because at the time of typing this, I'm walking in the blazing sun to move house on a day he said he'd be able to help me. I could've woken him up but I'd feel awful for disrupting his sleep, considering it's so hard for him to get to sleep unless he outright crashes. |
addiction | 23 year old male in need of anyone's advice I'm 23 year old male, as you would guessed by the title and I want anyone's experience/advice on my current addiction. I'm at point in my life where I'm towards the end of completing my engineering apprenticeship but the last 6 years I've done all sorts of drugs from lsd to weed and everything in between thinking that I was jack the lad for doing them.
The last six months I've stopped taking everything expect cocaine, I went from smoking weed everyday to stopping completely with absolute ease but with cocaine it's a different story.
I went through a stage last summer of doing coke everyday I've stopped when I wanted to easily but I can't seem to kick it on the weekend, The current place I work I love the job and my work mates but there bringing in drug testing in six weeks and even when I tell my self I won't do cocaine I end up doing it I need to stop and I don't know how.
I know there's people in far worse situations than me, I feel like I'm verge off either doing really good for myself or ruining it all because of my greed. |
addiction | cracking my neck doesnt make the pain go away.. it just makes it worse i need to stop cracking my neck.. its all in my head |
addiction | Help, phone addiction Hello,
I love my family very much. I do enjoy spending time with my family. I just find that I do so much on my phone and any time I have a spare thought or second I seem to pick it up then I am back on it.
I do a lot of my work from my phone. My work can also have emergencies well into the evening which require my attention. When I get home it isn't just work distractions, typically I will get on Facebook a bit, get on Reddit a bit, check the news, check bank and bills, I plan vacations, I look at personal emails, and I do it all from my phone.
I know it seems simple. Just put it down. It even seems silly to many, I get it. I just seem to not be able to do it. What things can I do to stop This? I don't even do anything that useful most of the time, it's just what I do as filler.
My family is just wanting my undivided attention for a few hours in the evening and I feel i should be able to provide that
Please help!!
Tl;Dr strategies or ways to help put down phone and focus on family? |
addiction | Tired of fucking up Hello all,
I stumbled across this subreddit after a two and a half day crack bender.
Looking for help and support of any kind.
Im 31 years old and I've been addicted to crack cocaine for 13 years. The longest I've had clean was nine months, about a year into my addiction. Destroyed my college career in architectural Engineering and shattered my family and social life.
The most recent clean time I had was 8 months, 2 years ago, but 5 months of that was spent in county jail, for possession violation charge.
Been to jail 3 times, split between three different jails.
All were for possession.
Was arrested twice at the same spot.
Guess where I went to cop my last bender?
Same fucking spot.
Even on the way home I told myself that I'm a fucking idiot.
And that's what I feel like, a fucking idiot.
By God's grace I haven't lived on the street or haven't caused any serious health problems that I know of due to addiction.
I want to stop. I've been wanting to stop for the last 8 years.
Usually I binge on the weekends because my money is gone during the week. The past few months have seen at least $700 to 900 dollars pass thru my hands to drug dealers. In one fucking day!
I've tried NA, I can't open up.
I went to meeting last year every week and still was fucking using. Not court mandated, on my own will, even had to take 2 trains to get there. I don't think I ever said a word in that room.
My war stories are the same as everyone elses, so no need to dive into them.
My situation is I am an addict and I want to stop.
I have a great job as a cook, a wonderful loving girlfriend who is a drug counselor ( she know my history, doesn't know that I use every weekend, and the two times that I've been caught up in my lies they were "relapses"), and a roof over my head.
Reading some of these posts gave me enough confidence to share my addiction.
I want some tips on how to stay clean. I've tried the exercise, I'm an avid runner when not completely blown out of my mind. It just doesn't work. Nothing seems to work. I'll go through the week or sometimes two if rent is due absolutely no fine. No cravings no thoughts. I work hard, I stay busy. But as soon as that money hits my pocket it a fucking huge monkey on my back.
Money is a huge trigger for me. I've tried handed my finances off to my girlfriend, and she was willing to help, but she was also resistant because she said it's not really helping because what's going to happen when Im forced to handle my money again.
I think a huge part of the problem is that I love alone and there is no one to hold me accountable for anything. I've lived with others before but the drugs always find a way.
Ruined a lot of great relationships, but I think i found my wife this time.
We're moving in together in a month and I am very excited to be with her and I'm elated that someone will be there to hold me accountable.
But I know that addiction always finds a way, so I'm petrified of ruining this.
I need help.
I've thought about rehab but I've also worked in a mental hospital/county crisis center/ detox rehabilitation center for five years. I used the whole time, shit I was smoking blunts on my break. I was a psychiatric tech, preaching to addicts while high.
So I know what rehab entails, and I know that most of time it doesn't work unless you are fully committed to staying clean.
I don't know if there is something wrong with me or if I just like getting high.
Reading some posts last night made we ponder about seeing a psychologist, maybe they'll have some insight for me.
But in the meantime I need help. I have a little less then 24 hours clean and I want this time to last
Any tips on how you guys were able to break the 30 day plain would be appreciated, also any motivation would help too.
I just want to use my full potential in life. I want to be a productive member of society no held back by the damn chains.
Thanks for listening |
addiction | Rehab experiences I’m addicted to cocaine and just can’t get better alone, it’s destroying me. In 2.5 years I’ve become a slave to it and can’t let go. I feel like rehab is my only option at this point. I’m just really apprehensive, I find it difficult to be in an environment where I’m totally controlled. But I also know nothing I’ve tried worked, so I have to give it a go.
I’m from the UK, so stories about experiences with those rehabs would be great. Of course even if you’re not from the UK I’d still like to hear about it.
Did you enjoy the time there or did you resent the staff for being controlling? Did it actually work or did you relapse? Did you hate that you were putting your life on hold but eventually were happy with your decision? |
addiction | Twitter Guys. I need some help. I'm addicted to Twitter.
I joined twitter 1 year ago and I was spending my whole life there. Few weeks ago I changed my password and email to some copy pasted "blablabla" so I can't login again. So I don't have an account anymore.
But my problem is that I'm still checking twitter. I type twitter.com/myfavoriteaccounts and sit there for hours. What else can I honestly do? I'm wasting my time |
addiction | Saw a few posts on here saw that I'm not alone with phenibut tianeptine addiction how can doctor help me? Hello I just want to say that on February 28th I will finally have first meting with my new family doctor and just wanted advice what I should mention or what details should I share so doctor can help me. I have used and abused phenibut since 2014 on and off every 1 to 3 months and would binge it from 4 to 10 grams at a time 3 to 4 days at a time. In 2016 I also used memantine in high doses and then dusvovered tianeptine sodium which is the hardest of all to get rid off. My tolerance skyrocketed from 100 mg to about 3 grams for a week at a time. I would quit for 1 to 2 months and then crave more of it. I ended up in ER about about a month ago when I combined phenibut with tianeptine and was confused at work and had to be sent to hospital. I quit for a month and bought 5 gram jar again 3 weeks ago and finished it within 3 days i want to beat this but it seems that when I am off these substances I experience no zest in life and have this empty or hollow feeling like nothing can bring joy. Please can anyone help or what should I say more to the doctor to help me |
addiction | addiction or choice? you dont have a choice to be physically/mentally dependent on a substance. you had a many choices to lead you up to this point of addiction. "i have a addictive personality." there have been sever huge studies trying to isolate a gene that creates the 'addictive personality". how ever you can learn and pick up 100's of addictive habits in your lifetime. making the battle of sobriety so much more difficult. if addiction where anything other then mental......its not, you can die if you build up and addiction and quit cold turkey. (only some substances.) is death a side effect or an outcome of addiction? idk if it really matters???? people die all the time from drugs. we need a better system to revert 100's of decisions created by people who have found themselves addicted to a substance. we dont need another pointless debate trying to see whos feelings are more important? there is a serious fucking problem that has effected all of us. WHO DO YOU KNOW THAT HAD A DRUG RELATED DEATH? now tell me why its important that you convince anyone its a choice or disease? the real battle is how you and I are prevent addiction/ death |
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