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addiction | Help me learn how to help others with addiction Ill save you from the spiritual speech, however, I believe my duty is to help others break free from addictions of all kinds. I have went through multiple addictions myself, so I have some insight on how addiction works. Although my insight isn't enough. I have much more to learn. I don't doubt people in this sub have found information through websites and books that have been very beneficial for them. If you would, I would appreciate if each one of you reading this, would send me links to information that have benefited you the most in the past. Thank you. |
addiction | Recently "quit" smoking cigarettes and have taken up eating everything in sight I use quit in quotations because I wasn't ever actually really addicted . It was just something to distract me or while I take breaks at work (restaurant cook) but now I'm starting to gain weight. Without either of those two things I'll have days where I just feel so fucking empty inside. What is a healthy alternative you guys use to avoid that escape? I've tried coffee but it just makes me crash and I don't get great sleep |
addiction | How do you handle withdrawals? I'm 19 and currently suffering from porn withdrawals. I'm very irritative, I binge eat and crave sugar a lot, I'm experiencing severe hot flashes and always tired. Currently 6 days clean and wondering how do yall get over this? |
addiction | Physical Mental Changes Hi, does anyone know a good resource or someone to talk to about the physical changes that take place in the brain and how to recover from those?
Like reduction in dopamine or norepinephrine receptors or things like that? |
addiction | Books and resources for family members of addicts My sister suffers from substance abuse issues and bipolar disorder. She was recently checked into rehab after a suicide attempt, which we believe was a result of her withdrawal symptom from her drugs.
My family and I were hoping to educate ourselves regarding my sister’s struggles so as to best help her during her recovery as well as well as find some peace of mind ourselves.
Can anyone recommend anything good? |
addiction | Shattering The Myth Of The Addicted Baby. There is a huge media and public misunderstanding about babies who go through opiate dependance withdrawal and the concept of "addiction" Babies can Not be born "addicted" by the very definition of the word. This post explains the difference and why it matters.
https://abovethelaw.com/2018/03/shattering-the-myth-of-the-addicted-baby/
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addiction | Quitting Blow & Smoking Been following this sub for awhile and just decided to quit smoking and Blow. Just dumped my last gram down the toilet. I know the road ahead isn't going to be easy but fuck it. I want to be in control of my life instead of being controlled. Wish me luck if you want, but I won't need it because fuck not being in control.
(.....tips and advise definitely welcome) |
addiction | addicted to porn I believe i am addicted to porn. im a 22 year old dude and constantly watch porn everyday. It has gotten to the point where whenever i open my phone or laptop I am already on a porn website from the day prior. I have skipped class sometimes just so i can binge watch porn couple times. Also i have not been hanging out with friend because i prefer to watch porn instead. |
addiction | Help I’m desperately addicted to the internet I spend hours on it, I have no social life, and I actually noticed my attention span is smaller than years ago. I know I have a problem because my brain is literally convincing me to go on the internet, I anticipate scrolling threads endless YouTube videos. This has taken over my life, help!! I’m drowning in addiction. I have no friends which I need to deal with and don’t spend time with my family. 19 male anyways, I don’t want to be 20 and still be a failure. I need to exercise and spend more time in nature... |
addiction | I am addicted to salami I eat salami sandwiches for nearly every meal and then again as a dessert, and then snack on salami slices between meals.
When I was a kid my parents used to moan about how much salami I ate because it was expensive given the rate at which I ate it. Since I left home and got a job I am content spending a lot of money on it. I buy about two pounds a week.
I think the salami and/or the bread is making me fat. But I crave the taste so badly when I'm hungry. I don't know what to do. |
addiction | PTSD and addiction Can anyone tell me if it’s possible to develop PTSD from an opioid addiction? |
addiction | My friend just got out of the hospital from overdosing. How can I help? I don't know what to say to her. I don't know what I can do to help. |
addiction | a post I wrote on medium about addiction https://medium.com/@mj.meaney/opening-up-about-my-addiction-and-recovery-6d45bfa86798 |
addiction | GROUP - Web Series About Addiction Myself and a few others in Toronto wrote and produced an original web series about our experience with alcoholism and addiction.
Thought maybe some people here might want to see it. Group is a dramatic comedy about the intersecting struggles of a goal-setting group at a clinical addiction research facility.
Trailer is here: https://youtu.be/BxyZAVdU5BY
It touches on serious issues of addiction and mental health in a way that’s heartfelt, authentic and incisively funny. For us, the ability to see life’s small ironies again and learn to laugh at our own imperfections was a critical step in the long, difficult process we all know too well. Hope it speaks to some. |
addiction | Getting rid of social media addiction Hi guys. Just a short post here, My end goal is to completely get rid of all my social media’s but this has proven to be a lot harder than I initially thought.
Right now I have removed all my social media except for Snapchat and instagram(and Reddit I guess) but I feel like it’s really really hard to replace the habit of always checking my phone with something else.
Do you guys have any tips on how to do this?
Thanks, peace. |
addiction | Manic cravings are so bad I've been doing really well. Exercising every day, eating healthy, taking care of myself. It's only been 12 days clean, but I was really starting to feel better. But then yesterday I hit a manic episode. (Am on medication for bipolar depression.) And all I want to do now is cocaine. I asked my boyfriend if we could do it together, and he was very adament about us staying clean, about how tired it will make us for the next few days, and basically about how it's not worth it.
He's not wrong and I fully recognize that I am being a brat about it. I have been complaining, crying, irritable, and now just kind of moping. He eventually gave in this morning but I could tell how sad it made him so I decided not to do it after all.
I'm just having a really hard time controlling my impulses/excessive energy. And I am super emotional. A night of coke would be so fun. Just staying up all night with my man, making shit tons of music and art, and I feel like I need that release. I feel so pent-up, like I'll burst any second.
But I know he's right. And I don't want to be this way forever. I don't want to be upset with the love of my life just because he is the voice of reason. I am very lucky to have him and he deserves someone that doesn't make him feel bad for wanting to do the right thing.
So I'm not going to text our dealer. I'm going to run until I can't breathe and then hopefully be exhausted enough to actually sleep and maybe eat something.
Just need some encouragement, reddit. Need a vote of confidence that I will keep getting better, cos it really feels like I'm headed for an inevitable crash. |
addiction | I’ve gotten addicted and I want to stop. I am not sure if this is the best place to post this, but...
I’ve been addicted to porn for a small time now. No it isn’t a drug. No it isn’t anything physical, but mentally it is really messing me up. I am ashamed of myself.
It’s affecting my ability to socialize and it’s harming my relationship with my girlfriend. I no longer feel the joy I used to when around her. Everything has gone numb.
Is there any advice you’d give me to help me stay away from all of it?
Please help me. I no longer want to do this, it’s harming not only me but my girlfriend and my friends.
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addiction | My successful way of dealing with addiction. Maybe it can help others? It's a bit silly, but it works very well for me. Every morning, I go out of bed, kneel like a knight and solemny promise, pronouncing the words out loud, that for the day I won't do whatever it is that I shouldn't be doing.
For example, I might kneel and speak **"I solemny promise that today, 13 of March 2018, I won't smoke cigarettes"**. You have to do this in a solemn, serious fashion, really meaning the words you say. Then, for the day a sense of dignity keeps me bounded to the vow.
If during the day the the strenght of the vow is fading, or I feel like I am about to break it, I kneel again and renew the vow (maybe if you are in a social situation you can do something more discreet). It has never failed me. |
addiction | 27 year old homeless guy addicted to painkillers My family made friends with Chris while volunteering at a soup kitchen. He is intelligent, clean and presents well so seemed out of place. Chris says his family threw him out, I suspect due to drugs. He sleeps rough or in shelters or on buses. In conversation he is a bit dreamy but he’s smart and asks questions and appears interested in wellbeing of others. He shares that he takes meds for depression and a few painkillers each day. He is matter of fact about his situation. Not lying, not defensive, not blaming. He had a lot of varied pills in his backpack.
How can you help someone like this? I would guess next steps for him are likely bad, not good. Location is Orange County, CA.
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addiction | Thinking about the possibility that never using again is literally impossible for some people(including myself) I’m about to start my 5th treatment program and I’m feeling very discouraged. I’m afraid I don’t have enough self-control and I will relapse again. I have so many good things going for me(wife, baby on the way).. but it’s always in the back of my mind that my sobriety won’t last. The urges are too strong.
Just venting my current thoughts.. if anyone can relate or drop some advice, feel free.
Just to clarify, I’m not unhappy with life and I’ve had some wonderful periods of sobriety. They just don’t seem to last and I keep going back to square one. Makes me feel hopeless
*end rant* |
addiction | My twenty year old so is addicted to Xanax. Looking at rehabs. Advice please. My son has a Xanax addiction. Three weeks ago he had seizures from withdrawals. Today he came home obviously under the influence again.
I have contacted the American Addiction Center. They have a place close by to us in Oxford MS. Does anyone have experience with their facilities. The online reviews are mixed.
I do not want to put my fragile child in the hands of people I don’t have good data on, but they seen affordable ($250 plus insurance for 90 days) and the online facility search looked nice. However, reviews concern me.
I need to save my kid’s life. So info will be very appreciated. Thank you so much. |
addiction | Throwaway account - Addicted to porn/blow? Can anyone relate? Give advice? So for years SWIM experimented with different drugs and masterbating. A few years back SWIM started using a ADHD perscription SWIM had to change over from dayshift to to night shift and SWIM would basically stay awake all night jerking off to porn while high. (it makes it feel better)
2 Years ago SWIM started using mdma and blow. He ended up in the hospital one night and quit for a solid 3-4 months. After that it would maybe happen once a month.
SWIM is a serious relationship now. On the weekend Swim and the gf went out to a bar and got really drunk and apparently swim bought some blow and after the gf passed jerked off and looked at watched. Swim is concerned because his gf knows this has been an issue and is worried his problem may be worse than he thought. SWIM does not want to lose her but after blacking out and having no recollection of even buying it, that he is a lost cause.
Has anyone ever heard of something like this or have any advice?
Swim can normally go out and have some drinks and be fine.
TLDR - addiction to drugs and jerking off. Can anyone give advice that's been there? |
addiction | at a loss here, probably going to give in again I posted this shit in depression and it was buried by the time I refreshed.. i feel it might fit here better. I hope.. its a long story..
Up front, this is a new account I just made for personal anonymity. My entire family uses reddit and knows my real account... Anyway, this is kind of a long story so I will try to cut it down.. I am a 25 year old male from California. My depression started early in life. Apparently, I wasn't going to make it as an child for a reasons nobody even told me about until I was about 21 (but thats a whole 'nother fucking can of worms.) Regardless, this condition had me put on steroids and hgh at a young age which jump started my puberty and make me massively obese. It ruined my entire childhood until around 13-14 years old when I was finally able to shed the weight. I thought this would make me happy, but it didn't. I decided I needed to switch from the private catholic school scene because I was just different, plus, not rich like everyone else. Well, in public school is where I really came into myself. I began making friends with all the wrong people. I got heavily into drugs to deal with my anxiety and depression. Of course, it was undiagnosed at this time. Flash forward to high school. I was a junkie the entire 4 years. I hid it pretty well until Junior year when I just couldn't anymore. I dropped out, finished high school at an adult school and wound up actually starting college early at around 17 (just because it was expected of me, I absolutely hate college..but well get there) I spent the next 5 fucking years at a community college because I was constantly skipping the two classes a week I would take just to go get high. I developed ulcerative collitis, so more often than not, I am in an immense amount of pain if I am sober, and I am in an immense amount of pain for smoking in the first place.
5 years later I finished, after a slew of fucked up relationships, lost friends, deaths, hospital visits, and rehab stints, I finally finished. This did wonders for me. I decided I WANTED to get my shit together, I got clean. For 3 years I got clean. I did it all on my own..well, with a therapist and suboxone, but still. I got myself a job. I made friends at that job. I saved up money and bought myself things I never could before. I've always loved making music so I invested in my musical abilities and was generally just happy, for once in my life, I was content. Well. That didn't last long. At the end of the 3rd year my family decided it was time for me to go to a university. Shit, I even thought it might be. I was so damn confident of my recent sobriety and accomplishments that I felt as if I was finally ready to take on the world. Fuckin' long story short. I'm in my second semester of university. I am studying the major I am best at..and I thought I was interested in. English. I have been writing my entire life, it's the only way I can really express myself because I am the most reserved, anxious, quiet person you'll meet. Turns out I'm not interested in the academic version of it. By the end of my first semester I was picking up again. I was telling myself, I'll stop once it's the weekend, once I get through these mid-terms. Once it's break. Yadda Yadda. Once I have time again, I will get myself back together. This is just to deal, I would say. Well. As you can imagine, it wasn't, it's not. It's a fucking problem, yet again. I've literally kept using since last semester. I can sometimes go a few days during the weekend without it, thank god for suboxone. But..ANY school day. Actually, EVERY school day. I pick up on my way to class, or I don't go. It's basically that simple for me. If I'm not high, I'm not there.
I've convinced myself that I can't deal with school without drugs. And, past experience tells me I can't. I hate it. I hate the system, I hate the people, I hate the shit they try to brain wash me into thinking and believing. I pretend for the sake of saving face, for the sake of everything just going smoothly, when deep inside, I completely disagree with everything. I completely have a different philosophy about life and happiness. I don't feel like this is for me, but it HAS to be, you see. It just HAS to be (FAMILY expectation), or else I have nothing to live for, nowhere to live, and nobody to help me. I type all this and still feel like I haven't adequately expressed what is happening.
Over the course of these past few months. I've ditched class more than ever, my grades have taken a massive hit, my teachers suspect something is wrong with me, my parents accuse me every day, don't trust me again, and all I do is argue with them and demand they believe that I'm still sober. They tell me over and over if I go back to drugs, that's it. I'm out of the house, they're not helping me pay off my debt, I will have to drop out of school, etc.
I stopped seeing my therapist, I quit my job, I withdrew from anyone that attempted to talk to me in the beginning of my semester and I pretty much just get high in the parking lot, nod off through class, go home, do the homework, get high and fall asleep. I've blown through all the fucking money I saved up over the years. I'm down to 100 this week and because I have a massive presentation tomorrow, I'm sure I will blow it today on my way to class.
I'm disappointed to say the least. But, all I can think of is how much worse everything will be if I have to admit defeat, if I had to quit and start over, if I wasted all this time and money and effort. If my family dynamic goes back to how it was, when I was the me before.
I feel like right now I'm a fucking timebomb that can go off in either direction. I don't know which direction is worse, honestly. Go deeper into depression and addiction but come out on the other end with that fucking piece of paper, woohoo. Or just drop it all and concentrate on being healthy and happy again? The problem is, future me will be so upset with me now if I give up. But future me will also have a lot more to deal with if I'm a full blown junkie again. It feels like I'm constantly living for someone else, even when it's all for my own benefit. It feels like my "here and now" is a fucking dream and the real me is in this intangible future. If I keep giving in now, I will regret it later, I know. But it's the only way I can get through now. What the fuck do I do?..
I feel like even this is a waste of time. Too long, skips too many details, trivializes the whole thing. Fuck it. Throwaway account.
Thanks y'all. I hope you guys are doing better than I am right now at least.
TL;DR Was addict throughout highschool/community college. Got sober for years. Returned to college, and addict again. What do I do..? |
addiction | When do I tell a new girlfriend that I'm a recovering addict? She knows I don't drink.
Been on maybe 8-9 dates now. She has slept over at my place 7ish times. We are exclusive as of recently.
I'm a 26M male and never in a million years would she think I'm a recovering alcoholic based on what she knows about me. I'm sober almost 5 years.
I don't know if this is real or not but I do like her a lot and she likes me a lot. I'm afraid of the stigma. Nobody knows except my ex girlfriend and my therapist.
The reason I'm so hesitant is because this kind of stigma would ruin my life if it became public, just the reality of my career choice and the life I've chosen to live. |
addiction | Anyone with experience dealing with amphetamine dependence/withdrawal? So I started taking adderall/vyvanse (it was everywhere at the college I went to) as a freshman in college. I felt overwhelmed with my biochemistry coursework and took reasonable doses for a long time because of the edge it gave me academically.
Fast forward 5 years. I've graduated and am applying to grad schools/jobs and I have a script now for 40 mg vyvanse. I began taking pretty high doses a few years into college due to feeling overwhelmed with academics and desperate. I still exceed my prescribed dose more frequently than I'd like to admit, although never more than 60-70 mg in a day.
I've been trying to slowly decrease my dose but end up oversleeping and dealing with depression/feeling totally unambitious on days that I don't take any or cut down on my dosage. I've gone through a multitude of depression meds since before I was diagnosed with ADHD or started taking any study drugs, but nothing helped much or worked well with the vyvanse. I was recently prescribed bupropion as an antidepressant and am hoping that would help, as it is a weak stimulant as well, but have only been taking it a few days.
In short: does anyone that's gone through anything similar have tips for cutting back on my dose, how to deal with withdrawal symptoms, and how long the recovery/detox process is? I really need to get past this, as I haven't been the same person and have been pretty unsocial and lost a lot of friends since I realized I'm probably struggling with dependence. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks a lot. |
addiction | Sister in codependent addiction Need help/advice. We (my family) just found out my sisters has been sniffing heroin with her boyfriend. We knew that he was a self proclaimed ex-addict. She swore over and over that he was clean and she was helping him and she wouldn’t ever touch the stuff. We found out ( from her) that she has been sniffing it twice a day. Obviously I believe if that’s what she is admitting to its much more than that. She has admitted to being dope sick when she tries to go without it and admits she buys suboxone(sp) off the streets to “self-rehab”. My parents found a place for her to go but she’s refusing to go without her boyfriend. She’s 22, we can’t force her to go. She doesn’t seem to understand that there isn’t a place that will allow them to go together bc of the co dependent relationship. I don’t know how to help her and I’m so scared that I’m going to end up burying my sister. Any advice/ help/ would be greatly appreciated |
addiction | struggling to find new people I am over 90 days clean, overdosed on H in November. Since then I have cut all friends that were on drugs... So basically I am starting fresh, I am having trouble finding friends and people to hang out with. How do I find people who are clean? I have been to some NA meetings but not really a younger crowd where I live. |
addiction | What men want: A study examining men's preferences for mental health professionals and mental health services Men ages 18 and older are needed for a study examining their preferences for mental health professionals and mental health services.
Participants will complete an online survey, and all responses will be anonymous.
Potential participants can learn more about the study and participate online here: https://kstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9zVk6RdEd8z6zs1
Questions can be directed to Hunter Stanfield, graduate student, at [email protected] or 785-532-0671.
This study received Institutional Review Board approval No. 9124 from Kansas State University.
Please share this important opportunity widely within your personal and professional networks. Thank you!
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addiction | Feeling low Basically what it is, is that I know for a while now that I have a gambling problem, but for the last few months I’ve been getting lucky keeping more or less even with wins and losses.
Today I lost £1000 and I am feeling really low right now, worst part of it is, is that it’s all been when I’ve been working. I work in a betting shop 5 days a week usually doing a long backshift, and the boredom combined with seeing others gamble, I find it so difficult to shake the feeling when I feel it.
It’s not that I had the money to lose, but I don’t need it, its no an emergency fund or anything it was just there so I used it but I’m still feeling quite shit right now.
Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated! |
addiction | I have trouble saying no to cocaine Hey,
I just wanted to see if anyone here has any good or decent advice for just saying no, it's just that when I go out lately, I've been tempted and have said yes 4 out of the last 5 times...
My reasons are personal, mostly concerned about my heart over the long term. I've reached a point where George Carlin once said something like...there comes a point where a rational person says "oh...shit this doesn't work for me anymore, the cons outweigh the pros and if I don't change, I'm going to die"
George Carlin is famous for heavy cocaine use, once was doing a gram a day for forever he said, multiple heart attacks (3 I believe) and later died at 78.
Anyways, when I'm sober I say no cocaine - but when I'm out, it can be difficult. |
addiction | A short essay for all of us going through Addiction, and not being able to explain to anyone else what we are going through...no matter which drug...powerful read... That which is ours...
I don’t know to how to cope. Neither do you. No one taught us. It’s like our secret thing. Like snorting, or blazing, or injecting, or drinking, or popping, or smoking...whatever it is. It’s a fucking secret, and it’s ours. And for some reason that gives us power. And it gives us control. Knowing something that no one else knows. And also knowing full stop, that we will eventually all crash down in flames like something.... like the tower of Babel does...in my mind.
Only we’re not thinking about that now...while it is actually cutting us and blazing through us, feeding through our lungs and our noses and our veins, to our hearts and our brains, killing us, we still forge on. Generation after generation, infusing that same rush, that same fucking high as those before us. No one has figured out how to stop that deep need, that deep rush, or give a decent reason why we should, we are all checking out at some point right? Yet here we are. As decades, centuries, and generations roll on, we still go on. It doesn’t matter the season or the year, or what song is playing on the radio. All of the demons are the same. No matter what clothes we wear, who has dated, fucked, or married who, or what is on the news, night after night ....The human needs and cravings are still the same.
It is ours. Ours to keep private, ours to share with who we want. Ours to shout from the rooftops.
But you see a beginning always becomes an end, whether it is a recognition, or a blip in our life, there will always come a desperate need to survive, in whatever fashion, it will just be in the timing. Letting go of that control. Only those who it afflicts that can truly understand that which is scary, terrifying, and endlessly exhausting. That is why we must stop the fantastical suffering of ourselves and our friends. The only finale being death, or wrangling away the hold on our gripped and tangled hands of our impulses.
- Jenee C. |
addiction | Again Back to square one again. At least this time am already actively seeking help. My family need back. For fuck sake I never thought I would be one of thoses deadbeat dad, who miss out on seeing his kids grow up. I need to get my head together
Am hoping this sub will be a good place to find support or just vent |
addiction | Is It A Problem? I was introduced to Lyrica about a year ago. I took it on and off, maybe twice a week. I managed to get a steady supply, and started taking it every day, doubling doses. I rely on it. It makes me want to live. It doesn't necessarily make me high, it just makes me...act like a human instead of be tired and be grumpy. My supply is running out. I can't get any more. I am panicking. My body is so tired and weak without it. Is this addiction? How do I manage to go to work and live without it? |
addiction | i’m not sure what to do i’ve been taking adderall everyday for the past 5 months for my job. at first i just took it on the days i work but now honestly i take it to play xbox/work. i feel like i’m going insane. i know the drug is bad. i’m also smoking and drinking every night and i don’t know how those effect my brain while on adderall. i barley eat anymore. i always feel sick. not really sure what to do. i really need help |
addiction | ... Is this an addiction? :/ I'm 17. From the past few months, I have been having these thoughts where I'm constantly thinking of a guy (most of the time this guy is my future husband) where I want to cuddle with him, have him comfort me and hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright as I cry my eyes out. It's like I'm addicted to the idea of love or something and these sweet fantasies don't allow me to concentrate on my studies. I have severe depression and anxiety, so I tend to cry a lot when I'm alone. I don't have many friends and have never had a boyfriend( all girls school lol), so I guess it would be like to have a really nice person to love me for who am and tell me that i'm perfect... OK I'm ranting.
Maybe this is the result of reading too many romantic fanfictions, lol. I don't know.
Any advice and clues to why this might be happening would be appreciated.
Also, I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit to ask this question. If anyone can tell me of a more appropriate subreddit, I would greatly appreciate it. |
addiction | Alcohol, Weed, and Binging and Purging. I am scared Iwill get weed Cravings are killing me. Day 3 sober. I want to pick up an 8th so badly but I know I don't want to spend 50 bucks.I dont want to be smoking during the work week. But giving my ed, my drink, and my drugs. I havent been sober since I was raped for the second time in my life and being sober is hell. I am in a perputual flashback it feels and I know weed would help with that but not with my other goals. Ive never been without my numbing and I feel like someone is ripping off a bandaide keeping me containted in sanity. All I do is cry,it feels like im not even human because I have thoughts that I'm nothing but mistakes. I need some tips beyond the normal oh read a book, do yoga. Im putting in my best effort in those activities but the desire to call my dealer is nevernot far from my mind. I feel like I do when I avoid trigger foods, it's only a matter of time. I know a big step i havent made yet is going back to smart recovery. Any just connection is beyond appreciated. |
addiction | Addiction recovery workers If you were going to interview in an addiction recovery center, what would you want to know before deciding to take an offer? What questions would you ask? |
addiction | My addiction list Hey guys first post
He’s a list of my addictions
Sex
Self harm(cutting, burning etc)
Drugs(everything)
First time I overdosed was when I was 13
I feel everything eating me apart |
addiction | Friends Looking to meet friends in the struggle. Looking to chat to help each other and to learn new ways to avoid relapsing. |
addiction | I want to reverse things before they get too bad I started experimenting with drugs junior year after my father committed suicide. I looked at it as more of a way of heeling than anything else. Drugs felt really positive at first, they were fun and made the healing process a lot easier. I got to comfortable though and it turned into much more of a habit. First taking mushrooms then acid, ecstasy, dxm and adderall. I think I’ve always been risky to an extent but I didn’t have the same access I have now. I have a constant supply of adderall through my boyfriend and ecstasy/acid are very easy to get, I also don’t have to pay for weed most of the time.
I bought a 10 strip of something that was not acid (felt more like a psychedelic amphetamine if that makes sense) around September and decided to use it anyway knowing it was sketchy and by the beginning of November it was all gone (I sold about 3 tabs). This left me feeling depressed and even a little suicidal, I’ve felt more outgoing and like I learned a bit about myself but overall it left me worse off then before. I do struggle with depression and I’ve been stressed about graduating and the near future so this isn’t completely new but I didn’t feel suicidal or as mood-swingy before this mini acid binge.
What I’m struggling with more however is this constant cycle of weed and adderall abuse, I justify it in my head because it’s hard to work and go to school but I know in reality it’s having more of a negative impact then positive one. I do have ADHD but my mom took away my prescription after I abused it, my boyfriend knows I struggle in school though so he encourages me to take his pills. I no longer feel dependent on it because I’m not taking it daily anymore but I do snort it often which I know isn’t productive or healthy.
I’m leaving for Mexico in a week and I hope getting away from all the drugs helps me clear my head because right now the possibility of that is all that’s keeping me from doing something really stupid. The path I’m going down is the same path I’ve seen a lot of my parents friends and my father go down (he was addicted to heroin before committing suicide) and it feels hopeless and scary and if it’s going to just keep going like this I’d rather just end it sooner then later.
I guess I just want input or advice on how to turn things around
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addiction | Help! I'm addicted to my phone I have a really bad phone addiction. I always have to be looking at something or doing something on my phone. I'm so addicted to the mind numbing useless information.
This is starting to get in the way of my school and life success. I would rather lay on the couch and stare at my phone for hours other than being productive and improving life.
How do I stop and gain motivation for my life? |
addiction | Help - Long term addiction treatment Hello,
This is my first post. I'm writing because my brother has been an alcoholic for years, in and out of treatment, and is at the point where is body is shutting down on him. I really don't think he has much time.
The problem:
He went through the free state-funded program and did very well, but he relapsed after 7 months. At this point they wouldn't pay to have him go back again. He wants help, but literally has no money. He also can't hold a job because he has seizures if he doesn't have alcohol
What I'm looking for
A long term rehabilitation program - 1 Year or longer with help integrating back into society - Ideally out West and in the Mountains. I can't afford to pay for him, so I'm open to funding options. I'm also considering doing a GoFundMe to support his year long treatment program. Sadly, if he doesn't get treatment I feel like he will be dead very soon. Anyway, looking for help in anyway here as far as resources or anything else.
Thanks for reading |
addiction | The Human Thirst For More We lose everything we'd won, risked, put forth. Every hope, dream, effort, all our work and sweat crushed under the bulldozer of our degenerate instincts, washed away in bitter tears of rage and despair.
 
Days of loss grind into weeks, compound into months, building up an everlasting inner torment screaming regret inside our skulls constantly.
 
So that is why it is so inhumanly hard to resist that ravenous hunger for more we all experienced. The moment we at last brush with a victorious streak, steal a feverish glimpse at that vision of our ultimate triumph we long held in our mind ; is when the familiar, vengeful, insatiable greed rears its surreal, maniacal visage within us.
 
This burning urge, surging forth from our base, emotional subconscious, begins howling its rousing rhetoric of madness at us, melting away each layer of rationality under the rapture of endorphins from success.
 
Because of the monumental amount of accumulated trauma we'd subjected our brains to, the voice raging inside demands that our success/'big win' brings nothing short of total, terminal retribution to vindicate us resoundingly from prior sufferings.
 
Then, as Reality is far from ideal, this self-destroying aspect of our psychological functioning proceeds to tragically cause us to dismantle the very elements in our strategy that had allowed it to **work** in the first place, overshooting operational risk margins and crashing catastrophically.
 
Thus begins a new cycle of hope & despair, one at the very core of the human condition. |
addiction | Grandma (71) addicted to Xanax. Want to know how to help/deal with it. We took her into her doctor's office about two weeks ago expressing the fact she needed help because she is taking too many pills over the course of one day. She was also mixing the pills with Tramadol and Trazodone. He gave her a plan to start weening herself off — also told her to walk etc. She wont do any of the advice given to her and my Grandpa just gives her the pills anytime shes asks. We would watch over her more, but she lives an hour and a half away and 90% of the time wont let us come over. She is very distant now and just not herself. It's very sad to see her when I actually get to. She used to be so full of life and just such a hoot.
My mom and her siblings are getting together to go over there and try to get her to go to rehab. That way she can get off her meds and get help with her depression/anxiety. Has anyone experienced this and have any suggestions or advice? Has anyone been on my Grandma's side of things and have advice? We just want the best for her and want to help her. It's been a tough time and we know my Grandpa will just give into her wants. She needs people to watch her and fix her back up.
TL;DR
Advice on how to get her to go to rehab. Or advice if you have been in her shoes to make everything smooth sailing. |
addiction | Research on opioid usage for school Hi everyone,
I'm focusing my undergraduate thesis on preventing opioid overdoses.
The overarching concept is a wearable that users would wear to monitor vitals. It would know when the user is overdosing and be able to signal for help.
I would appreciate it if you could take the time to fill out a quick survey strictly for research purposes :) It will take you less than 2 minutes.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfZP6SFlJXMztH4Q2Fl8JPAjeChfhqmBhqCLU2FTDWpMkLMXw/viewform?usp=sf_link
Any feedback in the comments would also be appreciated! |
addiction | Advice Family member addicted to Xanax and pain pills mixing them with alcohol. He is driving while messed up. Has OD recently. Lying to us about how much and how often he is taking the pills. And refuses to get help. He is seeing a counselor but it appears he is using that time to work out his problems with his girlfriend instead of his drug abuse problem.
How do we get him help when he refuses it before he ends up hurting himself or someone else? |
addiction | Roommate OD last night In the bathroom. We live in a transitional sober house. I think he was already dead when we found him curled up on the bathroom floor. The paramedics gave him multiple doses of narcan. I can still hear their voices, smooth and calloused from experience, “there’s no reaction on the cellular level”. They stopped trying to save him at 1:07 AM. His body looked peaceful in the hallway. Arms out in a T, the tube from the breathing mask still in his mouth though. He was such a nice guy. 39 years, handsome and tall. Laughed at my dark sense of humor. It was hard having to watch him struggle to become part of regular life. His options for work were limited and I could see him losing hope of escaping that misery. I wish I could have, would have tried to do something more to help him. They couldn’t get ahold of anyone last night. His girlfriend showed up to take him to work. We had to tell her. She crumpled up like paper. She had hoped he was getting better. Not sure if she thought he was though. She called his mother. I wish he had been saved. A counselor showed up and the rest of us were told to leave. So much to think about and feel about right now. I wish there was just help for people like him and people like us that didn’t have strings or punishment attached. I wish he could have been saved. Good bye. At 1:07 AM a very nice but sad man found a way to stop the pain but he had to go and it had to be alone. |
addiction | Possibly dangerous caffeine addiction? I’m currently almost done with my junior year in high school and I’ve been consistently turning to coffee for a source of energy. I find myself drinking coffee all the time and when I’m off it I feel weak and super tired along with headaches. I joke around about how I drink a high amount of coffee but I feel it might actually become dangerous and may be fatal.
How can I get off of coffee? Should I turn to tea instead? |
addiction | Is my friend addicted to crack, How can I help? I have a friend, who introduced me to crack. We meet up at his, buy a few rocks, smoke, chill then I leave. He's pretty low-key lifestyle. He has a job but after that he doesn't do much and he lives alone. We have a couple of friends in common. Our smoking of crack is private to us and us alone. None of our friends know we do this. So there's no one I can turn to.
He smokes way more than me; he's told me of nights where he smoked almost 300 dollars worth with another friend of his. Now, when I smoke, It feels amazing and all, but after a couple of hours I never feel the need to smoke another, unless I want to. I just don't get addicted. So I assumed he doesn't either. I have asked him this as well and at the time he told me he had it under control.
This friend owes me money, I'm sure he owes other people money too. He cannot afford to be smoking crack left and right... He has rent, bills, food etc. to pay And I have told him, as long as you never borrow money to smoke, you're good.
Tonight he called me telling me there was a small sharp thing in his throat. That he couldn't breathe, that he feels like his throat is closing and he would not be able to breathe soon and was vomiting blood and would need to go to the hospital. He asked me for cash and I said I did not have any, but offered to come to his and drive him to the hospital.
He explains the full story: He smoked on sunday, and some of the metal 'filter' got into his throat. Since then he has vomited, pooped a little blood (red) and been spitting blood (red). Also, he still feels the prick of the metal in his throat.
At this point I am suspicious. I think he might be paranoid and he's okay, but I would rather not be proven wrong and risk his life.
After waiting at the first hospital for close to 2 hours, we still hadn't gotten an x-ray or any closer to figuring what the hell is going on with him. Now I know he can get paranoid when he smokes, so I ask him if he had any tonight and he says he had not.
We leave the hospital and head to another hospital.
I call the mutual friend and tell her what's up. Not the crack thing, but everything else. She tells me that when she was at his, she didn't see blood in his spit, but he claimed he did. This sheds more doubt on him, at this point I suspect he is just being paranoid.
2 hours have passed and even though he told me his throat was closing, he's still here. Now he's restless, pacing up and down. I tell him to calm down and relax, so he could breathe easier. The whole time, he intermittently goes out to make phone calls. Some, to borrow money, others to call his debtors, and some of his doctor friends. Although not to much luck, a lot of them are asleep or not picking their calls.
I keep insisting an X-ray be done
1. to clear my doubt
2. to have a clear idea to what is wrong with him.
I suspect maybe the metal filter left a small scar in his neck and that, coupled with the paranoia is making him overreact.
Then one of his friends loans him some money...
30 minutes go by and this is the first time he is considering that the filter in his neck might be an injury.
20 mins go by and he asks me to take him home, that he would use his car to go to the national hospital. At this point I am exhausted and battling these thoughts in my head, but I take him home.
We just parted ways before I sat at my laptop to type this.
I don't know what to do... I suspect he might be borrowing money to buy crack. Am I over reacting? How can I help him before he does something dangerous? Should I have left him to drive himself?
I am so confused right now.. any advise or help would be appreciated.
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addiction | I need some advice .. friend with drug problems ok i try to make this short . i got a friend i lost around 9 years ago and maybe 3 months agoo i fund him randomly .
now what hurts me , he is the typical drug(weed) addict .
he did have a child in this time and the mom wont allow him to see it
. he is dealing drugs like crazy buying large and selling ( storing around 3KG in the moment ) but also he is using allot of it himself . Making Dept with his dealer and so on . i am almost willing to say its textbook Junkie.
it fucking hurts to see him like this but i dont know what to do .
i am thinking about just calling the cops so he can get some help . ( from gemany by the way ) anyidea what is the "good" thing to do ?
i know he wants help . i know he wants to see his child . i talked to the mother . she is helpless to , she is sitting in a wheelchair .
i did just notice how much this sounds like a sad movie .
if you got any idea please let me know !
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addiction | Colleagues working at my company (gambling company) don't understand, and ridicule addiction, help me make them understand For example, this article was making the rounds and they were ridiculing the woman in study:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-43469742 |
addiction | Road to addiction This probably won’t get any traction. I’m prescribed 1-1.5mg of clonazapam (klonopin) if needed at night. The last few night I took 3 k along with OTC sleep meds (doxylamine) at twice the dose and cough medicine at twice the dose because I wanted to be knocked out.
Tonight I took 6mg of klonopin, 6 times prescribed dose, 3 doses of doxylamine (75mg), and 75mg of some generic Tylenol cough syrup. Ido this mostly to deal with depression because the clonazapam helps with anxiety and they all make me feel dizzy an uncoordinated and sleepy and mimic the effects of alcohol.
My worry is that I might have an addictive personality and that I might get dependent on kpin. I really don’t want to tell my parents or doc since I’d lose their trust.
I guess I’m just looking for support and help before it becomes a big problem.
I have major depressive disorder and am prone to self destructive behavior and thoughts... just thought I should mention.
I’m 17 if that helps
Thanks for any support, and sorry... just in general |
addiction | Question about NA I attempted to go to my first NA meeting tonight. I have been addicted to everything at some point but currently was using alcohol very heavy. I have suffered from a panic disorder for more than a decade but I thought it wouldn't be right for me to use a klonopin before even though I really struggle with public situations. I ended up not getting in the door. I also want to quit using klonopin through recovery. Does anyone have any advice? Been through a similar situation. |
addiction | How do I get over an addiction? This is not your typical addiction. I’ve never done drugs and I never drink but I do have an addiction to other things. Idk how it started, but about two years ago, after everyone was asleep, I started alternate between three things generally. Masturbation, Internet/Netflix and video games. Its become a daily thing when I don’t have plans during the evening. I never let it get in the way of my plans, and I have an A minus to A average in the gifted program at my school so I do well academically and I still spend time with family and friends and wake up early twice a week to go to band practice. The problem is that im getting less and less sleep. Now on average I get 3 to 5 hours a night. I still have enough time in the day to have “me” time and go through with all my plan and still get a solid 8 hours but i always get distracted doing other things. I am CONSTANTLY tired and im still going through my growing years so i need lots of sleep. Whenever I try to cut one thing out, the other two always take over. I’ve tried taking melatonin to make me tired. I started taking 3mg and worked my way up to 6mg (which I think is a lot for a child) but I’ve given up on it as it seems to have no effect. So what i really need now is a way to get over my addiction to staying up all night. Or is it even something I need to get over? I still do well in school and have a social life i’m just always sleep deprived. |
addiction | Can I Help My Family Member? I do not expect personalized service. I do hope for links and information on what to do and how I can help. My addict is a real person, who is killing themselves as I type this. I knew this person at a time. However since this recent escalation they are unfamiliar to me.
A family member who previously did meth which hurt his teeth. Some years went by and now we are in the present. This person renewed his interest in meth. It's not just meth. It is alcohol, the soft drug ganja, and then also meth.
I am 1,000 miles away. Can I really fly out there and say HEY do this differently? I think, I am wondering if his flat mate is the drug dealer. It seems obvious to me. If someone asked me who it was I would say YES it is his flat mate!
My family member is killing himselves. They are doing it right now. I had talked to this person for years. But suddenly they have been non sensical.
What legalities exist? I am poor. I can fly out there I can take this person and try to force them to a point but this is kidnapping.
Is there a thing I can use to go to him and say hey there is a nice new life here. Lets follow it. And then I can hope he will say "Ok yes" and we live happily ever after?
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addiction | Relapsed I feel like such a piece.of s#$t I've been battling an Adderall addiction for a year 3yrs I make it past the 90day even made it 243 days I've relapsed 3 times this being my 3rd round I recently got a new job after not working for 10yrs doing something I've never had experience in and the hrs are 1030pm.to 7am 6days a week so yep that was my excuse that I wouldn't be able to do those hrs without it my relasps was 4 days ago I took the last half of Adderall I had left last night thank you all for listening I have no one else to talk to about this i actually don't feel like such a piece of s$#t as I did before writing this
Also if there is anyone else who has been addicted to Adderall and has beaten it I have a question. When did you start feeling normal
After my longest stretch of 243days I still felt like hell no energy no nothing I had it in my head that I would see and feel somewhat normal again |
addiction | Pregabalin for benzo withdrawl I’ve been using benzos (at start mainly etizolam 100-200 1mg blotters and 100 0.5mgclonozolam pellets, about 80 0.25mg flunitrazolam blotters, then 30-40 yellow msj diazepams and about 20 blue msj diazepam blotters). Started with goin on binges (with week or 2 breaks of the etizolam and clonozolam then probably about a few week break to getting 100 0.25mg flunitrazolam blotters abused them on and off with few days and probably bout a week break in between probably more, then got 60 yellow msj diazepams as well as 50 blue msj diazepams, that was about 2 weeks ago and I’ve had a binge on them. I’ve built a pretty strong tolerance able to take 6 blues and feel nice but not at that this is great point like it used to be and even at that no one would have a clue I was on them. I recently acquired 10 300mg pregabalin and have experimented a bit and they seem to make me so drowsy I couldn’t imagine being able to function on them with my job unless I split the powder into 4 and took 75mg at a time, have a job on a building site so have to be alter still (during this time I never took anywhere close to any amount of any benzo that it could of possibly put me on anyone else at risk while doing my job) I’ve experimented with 3 so have 7 300mg pregabalin left and was thinking of going on 75mg of them a day and maybe taking even half that dose at some point if that would be what would be necessary, I would rather not let anyone see me experience withdrawal symptoms but my main is it causing me to be a danger in my job and especially seizures in case I were to have one while on scaffolding worry’s me I could take one and fall off. Maybe I’m over reacting but I just want to be on safe side. |
addiction | Day 5 5 days of no addys after my last 200mg 3 day binge, sitting at about 20% motivation, and about 30% willpower, almost fought some loser that threw a phone charger at my car while i was teaching my wife to drive, stopped my self, boy did I want to just give in and throw the little money I have right at my dealer to give me some dopamine but I held back and feel much better about it this morning. |
addiction | Is chest pain normal in oxycodone withdrawal? I’m on the 3rd day of no medication and up until last night it wasn’t too bad, albeit unpleasant, however now I have pretty major and constant chest pain, tightness and a cough. It also feels like I am unable to take a full deep breath. Google didn’t really say anything on this and I’m wondering whether this is normal or I should be concerned about it? |
addiction | I feel like I’ve lost everything So I was dating a girl for about seven months in a relation that started off with us drinking heavily together but then when she would drink she would act crazy and I didn’t like it so I asked to stop and she did but the problem is I didn’t. She wanted me to stop to but I couldn’t so I hid it from her for a while while also using other drug. A few nights ago I got drunk and she wanted her charger back and (we weren’t broken up yet) and I was also on Xanax and drove to her house mad because she didn’t want to see me (because she knew I was drunk) so I went into her house to give the charger back she wanted me to put in the mailbox. After going in I accidentally fell down the stairs and broke a picture frame while her family was there. I apologized to them and they are understanding but I will never get here back. She was my first girlfriend and now she’s moved on. I’m only 21 but I feel like I won’t meet anyone else. I was so hammered and bared out that on my way home from here house I was going about 80mph on 30mph roads spun out and got in a bad car accident and totaled my car. I didn’t hit anyone fortunately instead it was a tree. I got a little fucked up because of it and had to go to the hospital the day after and stayed the night. I have an addiction to alcohol and Xanax and it lost my car and my girlfriend. I feel so hopeless right now. All I want to do is get more fucked up. I missed a week of college because of the crash and I feel so lonely right now I don’t know what to do. |
addiction | The Loop I don't wanna feel tonight
If I can't remember. That's alright. |
addiction | I miss AA/NA But love smokin trees Pretty much title. I miss the community feeling from recovery. I miss the long talks on tough days. Weed is just so available where in at (and completely legal) and gets me like... I dunno.. 90% of the benefits of recovery lol. Please don't hate im just being real.
I feel like I would do much better in life if I could attend meetings and smoke weed but I don't wanna be fake.
FIRST WORLD PROBZ MUCH? |
addiction | I've never told anyone about my pills I take painkillers almost daily and have for almost 3 years now. They were and are prescribed by my doctor because I have severe migraines and nothing makes them go away. But the truth it that I don't need the painkillers ad often as I take them. Not at first. I do now because I get shaky and sweaty. I've gone a month before without but that's the longest. Today is now about 3 or 4 days without because I ran out and I haven't called in a new script. I don't want them but my skin is crawling and I don't know what to do. I've already torn up the house looking for something and found a single oxy belonging to someone else but that would also mean that I no longer get to live here. I have some pot but I'm not a big fan anymore, although I hear it helps ease and relax during this time. Ugh, idk. Any help? |
addiction | Why do I hit the self-destruct button when things are going good? I don’t get it. I had a good day at school. I was relaxed and confident and funny and had no problems talking to people. Then for some reason I had the urge to use. I could’ve just stayed the course and gone to a meeting, or even gone out tonight and tried to get laid or something. Why do I do this? Am I trying to fuck up my life? At this point, I think this has to be the case.
I’m also wondering if other people here do this? I wasn’t aware of it for a long time so maybe people here do and just don’t realize it yet. |
addiction | Someone please help My husband and I have been together around 5 years, but married just 6 months. He's been clean almost 6 years from heroin. He has a lot of issues dealing with his emotions and handling tough situations appropriately. I know that he leans on me a lot for those things, and I knew things might get rough when we started dating, but we've been able to manage so far.
He started drinking after we'd been together about 2 years? We live together, but he works nights so we spend an astonishingly small amount of time together. Basically Saturday and Sunday. I didn't really notice his drinking becoming an issue until about a year ago, when we were starting the process of house hunting, but apparently he's been drinking more and more for some time.
We bought a house in July and then got married in October. Since then things have gotten progressively worse. We got in a huge argument one weekend and he smashed one of my cakes, which I feel has done irreparable damage. I was actually scared of him. He put multiple holes in our walls, smashed his face on the toilet and puked everywhere. A couple days later he apologized, and said working nights is making him miserable and that he was going to stop drinking. I have suggested more times than I can count that he find another job on the day shift, I feel like then I could help him with not drinking, but he refuses to even look for another job. He just keeps saying something at his current employer will open up eventually but it's been 5 freaking years of working nights and I'm so tired of not seeing him.
I don't know what to do. I love this man, and I've tried to support him the best I can but I am starting to resent him and our relationship is crumbling. I know he can beat this, but not if we stay on this same path. |
addiction | We think my sister is using again. Advice?? My sister in her early 20s was addicted to opiates and used most any drug under the sun except heroin. Its been 13 years since she’s used. My other sister and I don’t know what to do.
About a month ago she met a guy online and within a week they were dating and saying I love you and were spending every minute together. My sister however has a 7 y/o daughter and lives with my mom and I. So my mom and I got stuck babysitting almost every night and after work she wouldn’t come home just stay with him. Annoying but whatever.
Then a week ago she says she was drinking (now I’m questioning that) and her and the bf fell off a second story balcony she cracked her skull and has two fractures on her face. She swore she was never drinking again. That night we were blowing up her phone bc her daughter was really nervous and she sent answering. She called my mom and lied and said she was in the hospital when she wasn’t. And the next morning I forced her to go to the er with me but didn’t want me to bring her. And then was mad at us bc we thought he beat her. All she wanted was the bf and thought we were out to get her
Now last night she didn’t come home AGAIN after work and said she was getting dinner with coworkers and then she never came home. My mom was spamming her phone and nothing. This morning she texted and said she had a bit too much to drink and was on her coworkers couch. So my sister messaged the coworker and asked her if she was with out sister and she said no.
So my other sister called the sister who we fear is using. And said she sounded high, groggy not herself. She couldn’t even talk fully and make coherent rebuttals against all my other sister was saying and stuck to the lie she was with the coworker.
What do we do? Do we drug test her without her knowing?? Do we confront her? She has an explosive temper and is a compulsive liar. We are always walking on eggshells with her but we are terrified. What would someone who struggles with addiction want their family to do and say. Please help us |
addiction | Cant stop thinking about crack at times. I started smoking crack fairly regularly with a friend a while back which lasted a good few months. I've distanced myself from this friend now but I still see him from time to time. I hardly ever smoke now maybe once a month but even then it's a slim chance unless I see said friend. I'm glad I've cut down and it's stopped being an issue for me but I find that every now and then and especially around payday it comes into my mind and it dominates my thoughts till I can snap myself out of it, and even when I do my mind could just as easily just snap back thinking about it. It's really annoying a knocking my confidence on me staying away from it. Does anyone have any tips of tricks to helping me stop thinking about it? |
addiction | Opening up about my problem. So I've gotten into a rather steady coke habit. Over the last 6 months. I knew it would be a problem regardless when I picked it up but when you don't care if you live or die. It's hard to really consider the full consequences. Anyway I have been battling with my mental health for at least 10 years and it's just killing my chance at living a fulfilling life. I know I need to get off blow but I feel so ashamed at the mere thought of opening up to my family of how I became the exact person I didn't want to be. An addict. Would it be better to just tell them or get some support from another source before opening up? |
addiction | Nightmares since halting use I’ve been having very vivid, quite disturbing dreams, often ending in me killing someone to get away before waking up every night since stopping cold turkey from heavy use. It’s scaring me because I’m acting these ways in the dreams but I don’t know they’re dreams and am
Otherwise acting in reasonable, albeit self preservation ways.
I don’t know what to think |
addiction | Fighting to be clean Hey all,
Today I have exactly 3 years and 3 months clean.
I did it all on my own. I just reached a point and stopped.
I also quit caffeine, because it was affecting me so heavily. It was making me want to use again.
3 months ago, I went to an NA meeting. My first meeting in 6 years. It was really triggering, and I had to leave halfway through.
I have been doing alright I guess. The hardest period is long gone. Sometimes, it just hits me, though. I quit of my own volition, which makes it much easier, but sometimes I want to slide back and enjoy myself sometimes.
I know NA/AA are the end all be all of solutions, but honestly I can't go back for a lot of complicated reasons, the head of which are the panic attacks that happen. Also, they tend to make me want to use more.
I know about Life Ring, but I have similar problems with them
Does anyone have any other support resources?
(I have already done outpatient and inpatient rehab too.)
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addiction | Paraphillia Addiction. I need free online help please. I don't have money for a therapist and even if I did the therapist in my country are unreliable. I want to be clean again I need to be clean again.
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addiction | Need advice/help on my addiction I hope I am writing this in the right section, I just joined reddit so I'm still learning the ropes.
Basically I am finally at a stage where I realized that my "fun habits" are no longer habits and they are interfering with my life. I realized that I cannot bear being sober. I need to be influenced by something whether alcohol, weed or coke. I know that I shouldn't have these cravings and I beat myself up for it because I give in to my cravings.
How do I break this habit? I tried deleting my dealers number but I memorized it so I can't "forget it". I am debating going to see a councillor but they're expensive so this is an alternative. |
addiction | I can't stop cracking my knuckles I don't know if this is the right sub for this but I have a very very weird problem and somehow I need advice if someone's gone through this.
I've always cracked my knuckles, but it's never been this bad, it's a habit that is now built into my brain it seems and I can not stop myself. Every 5-10 SECONDS I'm making a fist to crack my joints even if they hurt or don't need to be cracked, like my fingers are actually in pain and I can't stop doing it. It takes so much concentration to stop doing it and I end up doing it anyway as soon as I stop focusing so hard on it, I do it all day.
The part that's difficult to combat is that it's really easy to do so anything I'm doing, in flexing my fingers to try and get a satisfying crack out of them, and if I don't do it for around 20 seconds I get a massive uncontrollable urge. I have to sit on my hands or somehow put them in a position where I can't crack them to prevent it, and obviously that's impossible to do for enough time to kill the habit
Has anyone experienced anything at all similar? How can I deal with this? It's just so easy to do that as soon as I bend my finger a little bit too much I've basically relapsed. |
addiction | I'm happy to spend money on drugs but not on things that will improve my life TD:LR I can't stop buying MDMA, Xanax and pretty much anything but I won't spend money on a gym membership
I can't stop buying drugs all the time, pretty much all the money I get goes to drugs, I have heroin in a baggie in my room and I can't decide what to do with it. I want to get better, I want to go the gym and get my life on track but it seems like there is this voice in the back of my head saying just keep doing drugs. I want to stop. I was in A&E 12 times in a year for things related to drugs. I've nearly killed myself countless times. I want to get better before I go to university. I lost on what to do. I can't tell my family. I just want to get healthy. I can manage a drug habit so why do I find it so hard to get a healthy habit. I've got to the point where I'm scared I am going to end up accidentally killing myself or pushing my self to suicide. In a sense I enjoy the drugs but I hate that its come to point where I'm risking so much. I'm not much of a confident person and I just want rid of this life style. My room is scattered with random drug paraphernalia and I keep using the darkweb cause its so easy. What can I do to rid this lifestyle? |
addiction | Where to bring someone you are convinced is abusing drugs My roommate and I are convinced our other roommate is abusing prescription drugs and have no idea what to do. She has been acting strange and loopy and has been sleeping for 14 hours at a time.
Is there any where we can bring her if she isn't being honest about her usage? I am 99.99% sure she is on a hard drug. |
addiction | Hi(gh) /r/Addiction Time: 5:32am
Place: My bedroom
Status: High/Pensive
This is my first post to this subreddit, although I have been a lurker for sometime on my main account. The past couple of years have been a roller coaster ride, but not like the good ones you find at Six Flags.
Before I begin, I am an active user and did not come here for a pity party, but rather some insight. Drugs of choice: Alcohol, Cocaine, Marijuana, and Nicotine.
Cocaine is the big problem, but alcohol is the trigger. I used to hate stimulants, but a couple of nights out with friends mixing the two was the catalyst to a pretty catastrophic love/hate relationship. Cocaine and alcohol have driven me to set back my life a solid two years (and still going). It used to be a good deal worse than it is now, but I keep using that as a poisonous rationalization to continue my habits.
In the past couple years, I completely trashed my credit due to these substances (780 down to 500) after applying for and maxing out many credit cards with cash advances to supplement my habit. I quit a miserable job, lost another and fell into a vicious cycle of essentially doing the bare minimum to survive and supporting my habit all while digging myself into an abyss of seemingly insurmountable debt.
I feel pretty broken at the moment. As a college graduate with a privileged upbringing, I know I need to be doing more. Friends and peers have long since passed me by and are now settling down with families, buying houses, and chasing the American dream and all the while I am sitting here jamming the accelerator in neutral.
Addiction is a crazy occupation. Even though I know it's counter-intuitive and is destroying my life, it still has a firm grip on me.
I'm struggling to put an end to this and I am disappointed in myself. |
addiction | I'm addicted to the internet It started with putting on a video to get my mind off of bad days but now I find myself mindlessly watching random and unproductive things. Sometimes even sad stuff that keeps me hooked.
I feel like my brain is melting... my memory isn't as good and I'm just wasting time.
Anyone else relate? |
addiction | I want to go smoke, help me? I’m in the process of quitting cigarettes, I’m currently 74 hrs without nicotine, and I’m really craving badly. Why shouldn’t I go smoke right now? How much better off am I now than I was 3 days ago? |
addiction | I love him even though there is no future (starting a family) for us. How do I explain this story... I will try. I had this boyfriend in middle school and we were IN LOVE. He wrote me love poems and we had a very deep relationship. At 14 we had to break up because we went to different high schools. He stopped talking to me over night at age 14. It was the hardest heart break I ever went through, mind you I was also going through puberty/hormonal changes. 9 years went by where we haven't talked or have seen each other - we weren't even social media friends (I blocked him from everything at like age 15). We matched on a dating app as 23 year olds and FELL IN LOVE. I am talking about psycho-attached. After a week of us meeting we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, a week later we met each other's families and were talking marriage and a life together. Yes, at age 23. Love is relative because we actually loved each other from age 11-14 (maybe even more).
Maybe 3-4 months after we started our second life together, I noticed some weird things about him. This led to him having a seizure and the a couple days later he was in rehab. I came to learn that he is a drug addict (his DOC is Xanax and Addrl, and even weed... but I have come to learn that it doesn't matter the drug, an addict is an addict). His disease caused him to get evicted from his apartment, sell his car, caused him to not keep jobs, etc. etc. etc. After rehab he started his march to sobriety, but I still felt like something was off. I knew it wasn't easy for him.
OK TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORTER, I had to walk away. He started to not be so responsive and make excuses. The only thing I could form in my head about his behavior was that he relapsed, or he's not well, or he's about to relapse. I realized I had to walk away and force my broken heart to heal, than stay in a toxic relationship with him facing heartbreak each and every day. I have come to learn that I would never be #1 in his life, but the drug will always be. The drug will always be priority and his real true love. Addiction is one hell of a disease. The sad part is that he told his mom we are still together and everything's fine. I had to tell her the truth. When I found out he was lying about the status of our relationship to his mom, I knew this disease was a motherfucker.
I hope to share this story in hopes that someone can understand how I am feeling, maybe someone can even relate.
Thank you so much for reading. Addiction sucks, but what even sucks more is the ones that are "addicted" to the addicts. In other words, the ones who LOVE the addict, who are in love with the addict because we see through the addiction and know they don't want to be that way. </3 |
addiction | Florida Involuntary Treatment Guide Hey all!
I've developed a resource for everyone who is curious about the Florida Marchman Act. It is a Florida statute that allows for involuntary treatment of a substance abuser. The website has everything you would need to know, so I won't elaborate further.
I've taken the time to gather all the available information from the state and other experts; so that people may actually be able to focus helping the addicted individual, rather than waste time and effort trying to find out HOW they can.
I hope that you all will find it a helpful addition to the addiction community.
Link: www.MarchmanActInfo.com |
addiction | My best friend is doing too many pills My best friend takes way too many pain pills, and for the last few years, I’ve been helping pay. I occasionally endulge, but not daily and no where near the extent that she does.
She means a lot to me, and I’m pretty much in love with her. She’s just amazing, and over the years, I’ve developed feelings for her. Just seeing her makes my day better. She’s a lot like me, and we like a lot of the same things. I’m sure she knows I have feelings, but it’s not the time to act on it.
She spends all of her money on pills, and then when she runs out of money she asks me for it. It started out as me just being a cool friend and as we grew closer it became me wanting to look after her, I wanted to make sure she had enough money to get by and make sure the withdrawal pains wouldn’t make her sick. Anymore, I think she only talks to me when she needs something, which is still almost daily.
The last month it’s been getting really bad, she’s always snorting away now. I always knew it was bad, and I knew it was getting worse. Today I found out since Friday she’s gone through 250mg. In 3 days she’s taken 250mg, I’m honestly surprised she didn’t over dose.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m going to lose her no matter what, and I can’t even think of a scenario I’d consider a “happy” ending. Either she’ll stop talking to me and loose interest in me if I cut her off, and possibly save her life… unless she finds someone else to pay for her or starts stealing. Or I’ll keep paying until she over doses and watch the love of my life die knowing I paid for it. |
addiction | Relapse and renew? I had a pretty serious addiction to cocaine roughly two years ago, ended up in the hospital for knee surgery, which kind of forced me to clean up my act. Now, after only a year of being clean I started using again, and have basically been developing an alcohol addiction to "excuse" my coke usage.
It's gotten to the point where it's affecting my life heavily, ruined my relationship, interfering with my willingness to get a better job, and I actually want to get better but I am afraid to ask for help from anyone because that would require actually admitting to people closest to me that I relapsed.
I'm scared.
I want to quit everything, I want to be healthy. I want to save my relationship.
If I had a car I would try to do NA, but I really do not want my family knowing that I fucked up this badly again.
I guess basically I am just looking to find someone to talk to, I need support to do this. |
addiction | Help me find a way out I'll get right to the point. I was smoking 2-2.5 packs a day every day when I was 16 (awfully young, I know). I decided to stop smoking a year after that, at 17, and in order to substitute it, I started buying these chewy sweets every time I was craving and walked to the corner store. I enjoyed it in the beginning and it made the cravings ease. Fast forward another year, and now I eat 4-5 packs of sweets a day which makes it around 50 pieces a day. I've gained a shit ton of weight because of it, because of how much sugar it contains. I know I need to stop, but if I did I'd probably end up smoking again. I'm stuck. |
addiction | Dopamine receptor recovery advice needed.. Hi,
After a drugs, alcohol, porn, sugar, coffee & social media addiction your brain is pretty fucked up. I can tell, because this question is not asked for a friend, but for myself.
I stopped using al i mentioned above.
Alcohol since 01-01-2017 Drugs since 05-12-2016 (1 relapse 5 weeks ago) Nofap Reboot since 15-02-2018 (fucking happy that I still going strong despite the strong cravings) Sugar is still in the process ( now only two times a week) Coffee since 25-02-2018 (only relapsed 1 time) Social media since 12-03-2018.
I started using cold showers every day, I do a lot of cardio, I meditate 25 minutes a day, I do intermitting fasting (eat only for 2 hours a day) and read a lot about dopamine receptor recovery..
I really REALLY want to get my live on track and will do my best to reach that goal..
Just have a couple of questions regarding recovery. Since caffeine is not good for dopamine receptor recovery i wonder if green of white tea is good?
And what can I do more to recover !
I know it’s not only about dopamine receptor recovery, soooooo I hope y ou can help me.
Thanks |
addiction | Withdraws Im having a terrible time wding from oxy. Does anyone know how to ease the nausea, chills, anxiety and depression and rls? Ive tried to kick this a few times but i cant handle the symptoms. Ive always caved. Suboxene scares me because ive seen others just get addicted to it. Well tia |
addiction | Interview in treatment facility, a year after getting clean myself. I have an interview as medical support /nursing in a detox/treatment facility on Monday. I have over a years worth of clean time, did proper inpatient treatment, medical monitoring, haven't had relapses, recovery is going solid.
I guess what I'm wondering is, am I over looking the potential triggers it may cause? If patients find out I'm in recovery will I not be taken seriously as medical support?
Looking for other suggestions/pros or cons to this as anyone that has been in treatment facilities, or worked in mental health/addictions after getting clean.
Thanks friends! |
addiction | Mandated Treatment Research. Hello, everyone. I am a Clinical Psychology graduate student at The New School for Social Research. As part of the fulfillment for the completion of my master's program, I am conducting research on individuals who are or have been mandated to drug treatment. I am specifically looking for participants who have been mandated to drug treatment (21 years and older) to take part in the study. All responses are completely anonymous and this study takes most people 20-25 minutes to complete. Thank you so much for volunteering some of your time!
http://newschool.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_ezL4JEyBGM5lsmV
|
addiction | The effects of cryptocurrency on addiction Hello, I am a senior reporter at HuffPost looking into a story about the effects of cryptocurrency on addiction.
It is my sense that the rise of cryptocurrency makes things harder for some people with substance abuse issues. Personally, my childhood best friend became addicted to synthetic drugs that he purchased on the internet -- he tried to stop but could not get away from the internet, which, in turn, made it impossible for him to get away from his supplier. I want to know if he is alone here, or if there is a larger story that deserves to be told.
However, considering the secrecy surrounding cryptocurrency, I am finding it difficult to report. So I wanted to reach out and see if anyone had any thoughts.
Thanks so much. |
addiction | Dopamine Feedback Loops Is there a way to change/modify existing feedback loops or completely get rid of them? Is there any research on this? |
addiction | How to help yourself with gambling? Im sick and tired if being a stupid gambling addict.
In 2014 I was clinically depressed. I started in 2015 with "csgo skins" and lost around 1600$ of my own saved up money from working odd jobs, Fast forward to today ,Depressed , no friends , an overweight piece of shit, I see a counselor and im afraid to tell her i quit my job and about this bull shit. family hates me and I am a loser, I was big into cryptocurrency and
decided to put my cryptocurrency ethereum to gamble it
went from (200$) 0.51 eth to 2.666ETH ($1,500) on dicing. I could have bought a car for fucks sakes. I feel i am severely Addicted to gambling, and i cannot get rid of this feeling, I'm Already starting to use opiod-Agonist drugs and benzodiazapines, Don't suggest me that bullshit gamblers anonymous, They don't help. I'm eyeing my belt on my dresser. Preparing the stool, Because My brain is sick and i want out.
Advice or options to look at anyone?
I know it's just money but my brain might mess up and make the same mistakes and hurt someone close to me.
It might seem silly, But I have a HUGE urge to off myself right now. |
addiction | UCSD study on opioids Researchers from University of California, San Diego (UCSD) are conducting a study with people who use opioids in Orange County.
We are seeking people to participate in an interview lasting approximately 60 minutes for their time.
For more information, or to see if you're eligible to participate in the study (562) 386-3949 or email [email protected]
*individuals who are recently abstinent may qualify*
|
addiction | 5 Days Clean but uncomfortable and feeling that I will fail Hey there,
5 Days clean from any unhealthy behavior! I am going to the gym every day ( already lost 5 pounds), got a new job and I reading self-growth books a lot. It seems that I can finally do what I want to do (during the day).
But when I get home and prepare myself to sleep I keep feeling that anything can break this good cycle. I keep thinking all the night that this life is It's so fragile and I will fail soon.
Also, I am too afraid and uncomfortable of the good things (it makes sense?). |
addiction | How to deal It's kind of hard to say what the underlying problem is but most definitely I am an addict of the anti social schizophrenic type is what I've become but I know I'm not helpless because I don't have an urge to use everyday I want to be responsible and dependable and trust worthy but the urge to use does arise after awhile and I just wonder what methods along with meetings I can use to help. I believe that some of the actions I do while specifically look at porn I do while I'm sober and that in essence gives me a type of high even though it's not as intense as when I'm using but it kind of holds me over but i think that after awhile gears me to want to use again even though it turns out bad everytime cuz i hear voices while I'm sober and high that gets me extremely paranoid and delusional everytime and yet I still do it at times. So any suggestions? |
addiction | Relationships Hey guys, I’m not really sure if this belongs here but it’s the best place I could find and I really want to tell someone about it so here it goes I guess.
I’m a senior in high school and I was dating this girl on and off since the end of my sophomore year. She was amazing. I love her so much and cared about her deeply and she was the first person I ever felt this way about. After about 7 months of dating, we ended things, but I couldn’t help but go back to her because she was good to me. But once we got back things changed. She started getting more angry, we started fighting a LOT more (pretty much everyday) and she even started to physically and emotionally abuse me. We’ve been dating for almost 5 months this time and she’s broken up with me about 5 times, but I couldn’t help going back to her each time. But yesterday I finally ended things for good. And I need your guys’ help to keep me away. It’s important to stay out of toxic relationships and I feel like relationships are addictive in a sort of way, which isn’t a bad thing, unless it’s a bad relationship. |
addiction | Seeking help for meth addiction without inpatient Ive been doing meth for 2 years and have realized in the past few months im an addict and i really want and need to quit. I have too many people depending on me rn including my mom who would be homeless without me. I keep meaning to find a chemical dependency councillor but forgetting cause i get high as fuck and super sidetwacked. I hate what ive become and what i feel, if i feel anymore. Please help, im begging somebody. |
addiction | The homeless guy. So yesterday I went outside to smoke and going through the ritual when this homeless guy comes along and he's really staring at me. I tell him I don't have any money on me and he indicates he'd like a cigarette.
I will give one up when asked because of Kharmic exchange. I also make a bit of a show about how that was the last one in my pack.
Today he wanders down my street again and I give him the half-smoked cigarette from my mouth. I also warn him that I'm going to say no next time because I don't want him constantly bumming cigs off me.
Maybe he's an angel trying to show me that I should quit. One was that he showed up on the last cig of my pack. Two was that I got disgusted when he didn't flinch at the half-cig. |
addiction | I'm addicted to productivity, I'm hooked on Caffeine and weed as a result I have 2 morning coffees, and hits in the evening.
I dont find this bad for my life, but its definitely addiction. I work all day, work all night. Ive accomplished so much work, and I believe I'm doing a good thing.
To give you an idea, I've been doing this for ~4 years, and in the last 1 year I've been extremely productive, running a few organizations and currently starting a bank.
My friends call me 'the exception' to stoners.
I dont know how to feel about this. I cant really stop, Ive taken tolerance breaks which is fine, but if I want 14 hours of productivity, I cant do it with just air and water.
Thoughts? |
addiction | Dealing with addict family members and my own issues as well? Just a preface: I have been an addict, and still struggle with issues on a near daily basis. I have ADHD, and my passion/problem recently is that I study too much and think too much. I used to solve my problems with substances, and while I may have dialed it back, I still slip up. Now I'm overly anxious from low self-esteem issues and Adderall (regulated doses), but all I care about is getting mine and my family's lives back on track. I don't have much of a filter, and come off as vindictive. I'm working on my wording and tact, but I'll admit my sense of urgency towards improvement has been a bit ridiculous. I'm tired of all of our shit, mine included. Read further, and you'll see why we all need to change. I want to get fully sober, and lead a lifestyle where I don't even need Adderall to handle my symptoms. My family needs the support more right now though, there's more than just the adults' lives being affected now. I apologise for the text wall..
I have some addicts in my family. It's extremely complicated, and some of the addictions go back before I was born and are ongoing.
My grandma:
-former alcoholic
-former meth addict
-had a coke habit and who knows what else
-had a dark past full of shit that still blows my mind to hear about. Really bad shit.
-now has diabetes, sugar addiction, a heart condition; she's really not doing well.
My older uncle:
-former meth addict
-former and current off and on alcoholic
-didn't do well on coke from what I've heard, but also, who knows what all he did.
-was very abusive towards family, caused PTSD in some family members
-occasionally still abusive when he drinks, less violent, but overall unhealthy
My younger uncle:
-was around for a lot of the bad times
-binge drank alcohol for a while
-egotistic and 'holier than thou' in his approach towards addiction..
-weight problem, possible binge eating disorder
-PTSD and compulsive lying; fights tooth and nail if called out on anything
My cousin:
-wasn't around our family from ~3 years old til 16
-was possibly molested at a young age, is a sex offender **and is possibly continuing the cycle in our own family (big part of the reason I'm asking for advice)**
-has had many addictions, some current
-seems to struggle with his own identity
-lies to his SO about talking to/trying to hook up with women
-lies to family probably just as much
-has been offered help, seemed to want it, then got worse
Myself:
-former stoner
-former binge drinker/closet alcoholic/currently struggling to fight and understand/explain addictive ..roots (lack of better word) to family and sympathize
-former meth user, short term but no better
-current Adderall user (prescription, and yes, responsible about it)
-potential drug counselor in the making due to my fucking family's problems and my own
So there's way more to this than the bullet points. I think ADHD runs in the family (I pushed to get myself diagnosed), bipolar for some of us.. some PTSD, some I don't know what else. We have problems. We all complain about each other.
I've been doing research off and on about the ego (decent understanding of jungian philosophy), taoism (mediocre understanding), tidbits of religion (I'm agnostic, life is too confusing as is), a plethora of other random things, **but my main interest lately is addiction and its source.** How to help people who are addicted. I struggle with my addictive behavior, I've settled down a lot. I'm almost clean, I rarely get drunk anymore at all, I'm a nicotine addict, but I've been vaping for two years and got family to switch.. not relevant. We're doing better bit by bit. I'm on Adderall for my ADHD, and I'm not abusing it. Pat on the back lol. But I'm trying to help my family see where they could improve. And also see where I can improve.
My grandma is getting better, but I still see her addiction in her personality. She gets dark and dissociated at times. Not always considerate.
My mom loves her creature comforts. Doesn't drink as much as before, but alcohol and smoking has done damage. When she drinks, she eats badly, and I'm sure her pancreas and liver don't like it. Same with my grandma.
My younger uncle is extremely overweight, and my grandma seems to enable it. He's stagnant a lot. Not getting better.
My older uncle, I don't see him a lot. Calmed down on his drinking a little, but that's not saying much. He's gotten a lot heavier since getting off of meth. There's a pattern.
My cousin drinks **at least** a 6 pack a day. I think he's still on coke. He lies, cheats, and steals from all of us. **He might be molesting a family member, and he's really testing everyone's patience. Some of us won't give up on helping him get better and breaking the cycle, but others are giving up.** He needs help, it was just brought to my attention tonight that the potential molestation is happening.. Nights when he's had everyone turn on him and he's disappeared, as much as I hated the things that he did.. **I know it came from the dark side of him that's been hurt, rejected, done wrong, damaged.. This is what I want to understand more.** It affects anyone with addictive tendencies, **some obviously not as extreme, but nonetheless it can be destructive towards everyone.** I don't rationalize his behavior, but I'm trying not to judge because he needs help. Alan Watts described Carl Jung as having a hintergedanken **meaning a thought far in the back of your head, that no matter how terribly someone has behaved.. it could have just as well been you.** I want to further understand this mentality. I'm seeking it, I will be looking deeper, and I know a lot of it comes from personal experience. Does anyone have any insight though? I want to be more understanding of addiction. I feel that I'm getting there, **but I'm guilty of not truly feeling emotions as deep as I should like other addicts. I'm still an addict. I probably always will be. I want to help others though.** Any insight is greatly appreciated, and if you're stuggling with anything like I've described or even worse.. I wish nothing but luck to you, and good fortune. It's a journey, and you'll find your truths.
TL;DR: I'm an addict, my family mostly consists of addicts, and I want to break the chain. My cousin is really fucking up, and I don't want to turn him away. Everyone deserves a happy, fulfilling life. I need advice to help others see the error in their ways, but also to see my own errors so I can help others while/by helping myself. If you have an addiction problem, or have family/friends that struggle, you're not alone. You are loved and appreciated, people just aren't always mindful. We'll get there. I love this community, and hope we can help each other grow by spreading information.
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addiction | I'm addicted to cocaine and its ruining my life I'm a university student with a promising career unless this destroys me. I started using coke after a breakup and death and its been 8 months now. I went through my bank statement and I spent $22000 on it in 8 months.
4 months ago I could stop whenever. It gave me a boost on exams and more enjoyment out of social activities. Now its become the centre of my life. Whenever I need a break from the world I pickup an 8 ball and stay in my room with no food for two days. I know its unhealthy. I used to go to the gym 5 days a week now my focus is gone. I just got a look at myself in the mirror and fuck I am thin. I used to be quite muscular but now I look strained. My eyes look tired and dead. Look at my nose below, its not visible in the pic but I'm developing scars on the side of it from the thinning of the walls. It droops down now I wonder if its always going to be too long.
https://ibb.co/cbvwpn
https://ibb.co/bC0kh7
My colleagues at work notice a difference. I'm always agitated and I guess others can see how wound up I am. I don't think I can stop on my own and I'm not sure what I should do. If I keep doing this I know its going to end with me dead. |
addiction | Forgiving yourself years after getting clean For about three years I had a daily painkiller / morphine addiction. For that whole time I was dating someone who was the right person in every way, but at the wrong time. Towards the end of my drug use I left her, pretty much so that I could continue using drugs without having to worry about impacting someone else. Now, four years after getting clean, I still regret leaving. I dream about her and think of it as the worst mistake I've ever made and it impacts any relationships I've tried to have in the future. She's married now, so no chance of getting back together. Anyone have something similar? How do you forgive yourself and let things go even years after this stuff has happened and everybody else has moved on? |
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